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A Just Edge is a fan fiction written by Brady Patrick centered around a young Pokemon Trainer named Ryan, recounting his crazy adventures leading up to the newest Indigo League tournament, his encounters with the legendary Pokémon, Mew, his battles against a resurgent Team Rocket led by the daughter of Jessie and James, and his humble and frivolous quest to become the very best like no one ever was.

A Just Edge combines elements of comedy, drama, adventure, friendship, and mystery to tell a (hopefully) cohesive tale. I hope you enjoy it!

Theme Songs

Kanto Arc:

Numb - Linkin Park

Sevii Islands Arc:

Yoshimi Battles the Pink Robots, Pt. 1 - The Flaming Lips

Champions Arc:

Fxxk It - Big Bang

Characters

Click any of the pages below to view the Pokémon teams of each trainer:

  • Ryan - The main protagonist of this story.
  • Kelly - A greater Pokémon trainer than Ryan, she accompanies him on their quest for badges.
  • Rahul - A skilled trainer who accompanies Ryan and Kelly on their journeys. He is a friend (or not) of Alex.
  • Alex - A trainer who has amongst the greatest skill in all of Kanto, but is also sociopathic in his approach to battle.
  • Logan - An aspiring Pokémon Breeder who joins Ryan's group during their travels around the Kanto region.
  • Jessica - The second-in-command of Team Rocket, she is a skilled, if arrogant trainer and the main antagonist of this story.
  • Gillford - A member of Team Rocket whose arrogance has blinded him and made him into a parody of himself.
  • Charlie - A fellow trainer and self-proclaimed rival of Alex who later becomes a frequently and randomly encountered person by Ryan.
  • Quinny - A Pokémon gardener who is also Ryan's best friend.
  • Derceyes - The owner of the largest collection of Dragon Pokémon in Kanto and a respected Pokémon researcher as well.
  • Falco - The leader of the Bell-bottom Brigade, there is more to him than he lets on.
  • Michio Kaku - A professor of theoretical physics at Smogon University.
  • Jesse Ventura - A professional, deranged conspiracy theorist. Once, long ago, he had been a governor, a fighter, and a Navy SEAL.
  • Dean - A trainer who is also the younger brother of Alex.
  • Sophia - A vainglorious trainer whom Ryan meets in southern Kanto.
  • Indigo League - A list of Gym Leaders, Elite 4 members, and Champions in the Indigo League during this story.
    • Forrest - The new Gym Leader of Pewter City. He is the younger brother of Brock.
    • Olivia - The new Gym Leader of Cinnabar Island. She is the daughter of Blaine.
    • Dylan - The new Gym Leader of Viridian City.

Acknowledgements

My thanks to my good friend Alex for helping me so much with this story. Without him, A Just Edge would not be half as good, and each chapter would have taken twice as long to write, if not longer. I am eternally grateful for all of the hours he has spent assisting me, for all the patience he has had with me, and for all of the wise advice he has given me.

Additional thanks go to my friends Rahul, Chase, Quinn, and Anthony for their help developing their characters (and others!) in this story. And thanks to Jessica, though we did not end on good terms, for inspiring such an important character in A Just Edge.

My thanks extend to George, Larry and Jerry, Stephen, Olivia, and Dr. Kaku for inspiring various aspects of this story, though I'm sure none of them will ever hear of or read this story.

Thanks as well to Clarilune, Uni, and all the others who have read, reviewed, helped edit, and enjoyed this story. Your help and kind words have meant a lot to me.

I would also like to thank the writers of the Indigo League arc and the Adventures on the Orange Islands arc of the Pokémon anime for inspiring this story. I know Pokémon is often seen as a "kid's show" and not respected by much of the adult generations, but I couldn't disagree more. The writing for those two sagas in particular was very well done, thematically rich, and strikes the right balance between comedic and emotional moments. There is nothing worth writing about save for the human heart in conflict with itself, something the writers of those sagas understood well. I only hope that my story will end up succeeding to that end as well.

Kanto Arc

Ajekantoarc





This arc uses Pokémon Yellow stats for Gym Leaders and Pokédex entries, and overall, this arc adheres to Generation I physics.


Episode 1: Adventure Times!

A long time ago, there lived a Pokémon trainer. He was, like many others, completely average; neither legendary nor extraordinary. But, like many others, he set out with the original goal of gathering badges to compete in the Indigo League. That was his only reason, really. There was no point or desire for him to try to catch them all. That would just be silly. He wanted only the glory of winning the tournament.

Nevertheless, he went out on his journey. It was a quaint little thing, his journey. The badges, of course, came naturally. First one, then two, then eight. And while the gym leaders each presented staunch opposition, none of them prepared him for the league. By the time he entered, the tournament had already done countless cycles. It was, quite frankly, a well-oiled machine which he had no business jumping aboard.

The first match went better than expected. He won in a rout, losing only a single Pokémon – his ivysaur. Verily, beginner’s luck took him only so far. His next match was a loss. It was neither a critical nor close defeat, as his opponent had lost three Pokémon to his six. But the boy was not devastated by this loss. Sporting a respectable .500 record in his first year, the boy was motivated to try again. And he did. The second year proved progressively regressive. He lost his first match. But he tried again. The boy, now becoming a man, tried this for two more years until finally stopping. Going, cumulatively, 1-4, he had not as much as come close to victory since his first one.

Upon his final defeat, the boy had not actually given up. He set out to acquire the badges again when he a met a girl. As soon as they started seeing one another, his interests in Pokémon faded. He did poorly against every leader, and had to face many of them several times. Finally, he ran out of time against Sabrina, losing a lopsided battle between her Kadabra and his Abra. His passion for Pokémon evaporated, the man settled down with his wife, had a child, and officially retired from the Pokémon scene.


Ryan was no Pokémon wizard like his father. No sir, he was a scholar. He went to the local middle school full time. It was heavy stuff. This explains, then, why he was ditching class. Noon it was, and there was not a person in sight. Ryan was walking down the road, tearing leaves apart with his little hands. It was so nice out.

Ahead of him, the path turned out from the road and onto a dirt path. He had time; he went with it. Walking down it, a queer sound came from ahead. It was like a screech, but more focused. More deliberate. Like a couple of cats fighting.

The lane curved outward into a clearing of grass, revealing several figures. Ryan squinted his eyes, blocking out the sun, as he approached them. There were two of them. Well, two humans. There was a multitude of other creatures. Ryan knew these to be Pokémon.

As previously mentioned, Ryan was no Pokémon master. He knew of some Pokémon, mostly the super common ones or the ones his parents owned. He was less attuned to the appearances of those which he had never seen before. He saw one, a Pidgey, which he could identify, but the other, a small blue creature was indiscernible from the legions of species he had only the most basic eye recognition toward.

The Pidgey took to the air. It spiraled upward before coming down again and shooting at the other one, like something that shoots fast. The other Pokémon recoiled from the blunt force, flying several feet away, before landing on its feet. It growled, baring its teeth and then lunged at the Pidgey. It showed everyone its little paws, deviously sharp, and thrust them into the Pidgey’s wing. The latter cried out in great pain, brushing the creature off of it. Creating a gust attack, it enveloped the little blue thing, and twirled it around. When the dust settled, when the Pokémon landed, it was asleep… or worse. No, not really.

Ryan continued watching as the trainer returned his Pidgey to the Poké Ball, and the other did the same. The two shook hands, before parting ways; one trudging off into the grass, another back to the cobbled brick of the city. And he never saw those trainers again.

That battle was completely awesome! Ryan shook with the feelings it gave him. He had always wanted to be a Pokémon trainer, but his mother had never allowed it. He had quietly accepted her reasonless answers to his pleas for following his father’s footsteps before. This was several years later, obviously. A Pokémon trainer sets out when they are ten. Ryan, being fourteen, was not in prime position to set out.

Why not? Why does the age matter so much? It shouldn’t. He’s smarter than any 10 year old. If anything, he would be the better choice. He had to say something. So, Ryan took speed back to his own home, a query on his mind.

His mother was home early; he heard her in her room (what she was doing was no matter to us readers, though we may guess about it). Ryan was supposed to be at school, so he made sure to tip toe quietly in. He didn’t want to be yelled at, after all. Making his way to his room, he passed by his mother’s Squirtle – her household helper Pokémon. Ryan liked him okay, but this Squirtle had one notoriously dubious feature to his notably intricate personality: he was an unrepentant tattletale. Ryan crossed past the dining table, finding the Squirtle bent over sweeping. The Squirtle looked up as he came in, and a small, deviously delightful smirk came to its face.

Ryan made a frantic throw across the table, trying to grab the Squirtle before he could go tell Mother about Ryan being home early. But this Squirtle was a pro compared to Ryan. He knew. Hooky was not to be tolerated by a weasel.

The Squirtle’s dexterity aside, Ryan fell over the table and crashed onto the hard floor. He let out a reflexive cry of pain which did more than enough to alert his mother that Ryan was now home. The door opened, on the far hall, revealing the face of a woman, tall and dark eyed, her long brown her sweeping around the corner of the wood by more than two feet’s length.

“Squirtle, is that you?” she called out.

“Squirtle squirtle! Squirtle!” he replied, earnestly.

“Huh, Ryan’s home?”

Oh my god. She speaks Squirtle. How the heck can she speak his language?! Ryan thought these thoughts to himself, rightly keeping them to himself. His mother, however, was quickly walking down the hall. He would be found out.

“Ryan, what are you doing back so early?” his mother said, coming around to face him.

“Oh, hi mom. I got off early today!” replied Ryan, beaming up at her.

“You got off school early? Why did you get off early?”

“No reason…”

His mother’s tone turned serious, “Are you lying to me, Ryan?”

“What, lying? No!”

“You’re lying, aren’t you?”

“No, we just-”

“Don’t lie to me, Ryan. I’m your mother. I can tell when you’re lying to me!”

“Bu-”

“ No buts. Tell me why you skipped school.”

“I – I don’t know,” He said, lowering his head, “It’s just so boring.”

“Now Ryan, you can’t just skip school because you’re bored. Everyone has to go to school.”

He looked up, wide-eyed, “Not everyone. Pokémon trainers don’t have to go to school.”

“Th-that’s what this is about? You suddenly want to be a Pokémon trainer now? I thought we went over this.”

“Yeah, so what?”

“You’re too old, Ryan. Besides, you don’t have any ge-”

“I’ll just use dad’s old stuff. And we’ve got a lot of Pokémon here, can’t I just use a couple of those?”

His mother didn’t respond. She flashed a distraught look, of which he did not pick up. Among his wrecked posture, Ryan darted his eyes about. Sure, they had Pokémon. Well, there was Squirtle. Out in the back, they had a few ponds of the fish types, but those never interested Ryan. There were a slew of Doduos and Dodrios, but those wouldn’t do. He’d have asked for his father’s Rapidash (as that appeared the most capable warrior) if not for, when he looked up, he saw the way his mother was.

He really shouldn’t have brought up Pokémon trainers and his father at the same time (let alone, alone!). But he couldn’t help it. That fight had gotten to him. It was what he could have been, what he should have been. He looked around furiously for something within his vicinity, something more suitable for the current situation. He spied, of course, a single Pokémon lying on an out-window, bathing in the sun, having a riot of a time. He couldn’t tell if it was Persian, but he hoped it was. Ryan flexed his arm up and pointed to the creature.

“What about that one? Couldn’t I just take that one for a while? He can’t be one of dad’s favorites. I know dad wouldn’t mind…”

“And do what?!” his mother asked, incredulously.

“Well, go around and do Pokémon trainer stuff.”

“Do you even know what that means, Ryan? You don’t just set out on a random journey with no idea of what you’re doing.”

“Really?”

His mother faltered. Her son was right. That was exactly what they did. There was no denying it. Before she could answer, though, the phone rang and she carried herself out, away from her son.

Ryan sat up and crawled over to the window to see his prized pick. Ah, it would be glorious to take on the world, starting with this Persian! This was surely his favorite Pokémon (with his father’s Rapidash rapidly fading out of his stinted memory). He grasped up on the padded bed lay that it had dominion over and spoke: “Heya Persian! How’ve you been?”

“Aaaaaaabra…” the Pokémon let out in a low wheeze.

That’s not the sound a Persian makes! Golly! It was his father’s old abra. Dang it, Ryan thought. This was that Pokémon that lost him his father’s final match. He didn’t want that! Useless sack of something useless. Ryan stood up, irritated. He looked around for that dastardly Persian.

Seriously, not in a forced manner, Ryan’s mother returned to the room.

“That was your school.”

“Oh… yeah,” responded Ryan.

“They’ve told me about your grades the past few weeks. They’re terrible.”

“Yeah…”

“And that is all because you have wanted to be a Pokémon trainer?”

“Uh, yeah that’s right!” said Ryan, ever quick on his toes.

“Then maybe it would be good to let you clear your head and go out for a little while.”

“Ah, you mean it? I can be a Pokémon trainer? Just like that?!”

“It will be better for you if you saw exactly what that means. Take your Pokémon and take your things, and go out,” she said in a defeated sigh, nodding up to the sleeping Abra.

“Bu-but… that’s not the one…”

He glanced back at Abra. It yawned long as it squinted back in his general vicinity. Aw shucks, Abra was his Pokémon now. Ryan swore he heard Squirtle cackling behind his mother.

Episode 2: Rick 'Em In The Rishpan

Splinters hurt. Ryan had one; he sure did. To explain to you accurately how bad his hurt would cause me to devolve into words and phrases too adult, too grotesque to be allowed. Let’s just say the sliver of wood he had jammed up his toenail hurt. Real bad.

This war scar had been added moments prior, when Ryan had stumbled over a bramble. He had never felt pain this horrible. He could barely breathe as he just sat there taking wave after wave of pain. He was only a mile into his Pokémon adventure. This was a great beginning. He attempted to sit up. Ryan quickly looked over his belongings – his Poké Balls, Pokédex, food, all that stuff. It was all intact. Just as he was about to go back to sulking in his ruin, Ryan caught a glimpse of a bugger.

Holy Professor Oak, it was a Pokémon! Ryan needed to catch all of them, or something like that. He reached down and grabbed onto Abra’s ball before throwing it at the bugger he saw. Abra came flying out of his ball upside down and screaming. He must’ve been asleep. Nevertheless, Abra got into a battle stance immediately, before giving Ryan a loyal “so how should I kill this guy, boss?” look.

Ryan shrugged before saying, “Um, Abra use your slashy-claw attack!”

Abra offered a quizzical, “Abra ah?”, quite unsure as to what to do.

“Uh… um… Abra? Isn’t that an attack?” Abra shook his head furiously, “What?! But you have claws! You’re saying you can’t use them?”

“Abra abra abra ra abra abra ah ah ra. Abra! Abra bra ra abra abra ah ah ah!

“Maybe I should try dad’s Pokédex.”

He fumbled in his pockets for it and whipped it out with a little grace. Pointing his Pokédex at Abra, Ryan said, “What’re his attacks?”

“Abra, the Psi Pokémon-“

“Yeah yeah. Just tell me his attacks. I know his name.”

“Abra’s attacks consist of teleport.”

“And…?!”

“Teleport is Abra’s only attack.”

“You’ve got to be kidding.”

The Pokédex did not respond. Ryan turned to his Abra, “Didn’t my dad teach you any other attacks, like a TM or HM or something?”

“Abra abra.

“SPEAK ENGLISH!!!”

“Bra? A’ra!”

Ryan had no clue what Abra just said, but what was he to do? They couldn’t communicate. He remained quiet and watched as Abra walked forward, his clawed (uselessly clawed!) hands outstretched in a sort of dazed feel through. But this was no feel through. He was attacking the bugger.

In Abra’s hands, blue energy began forming. Ryan smiled in delight. Yes, this was an attack! The Pokédex was wrong! Abra went right up to the bugger and released his blue attack; his psychic attack. It hit. The bugger made no sound as Abra applied his beatdown, but moments later, when the smoke began rising and Ryan saw no counterattack, he knew he’d won.

Ryan ran up to Abra. “Good boy, Abra! You got him!”

“Bra.”

Ryan, overly gleeful at his first Pokémon battle victory ran to the defeated Pokémon. It was all yellow, and it looked like a banana. Ryan liked bananas.

He picked the thing up, as it continuously smoked and did nothing else.

“What is it? I’ve never seen one of these before.”

“Abra.”

“No, it’s not an Abra, silly. Let’s ask the Pokédex.”

Ryan pointed his Pokédex at the creature with one hand, holding it with the other.

“Kakuna, the Cocoon Pokémon. Able to move only slightly. When endangered, it may stick out its stinger and poison its enemy.”

“Oh cool! It’s a poisonous one!”

Ryan laughed and swung the dazed Kakuna around.

“Abra. Ra ra!” Abra said in a cautioning tone.

“Shut up Abra, he’s mine now.”

Evidently, Kakunas do not like being swung around, because by doing this, Ryan got himself a stinger in his arm. His scream was shrill as it was loud, long as it was high. He dropped Kakuna and grabbed onto his arm. Shouting curses which cannot possibly be written out, Ryan kicked Kakuna. He began ranting about how it’s not fair that Pokémon fight humans and not other Pokémon. However, since he was now poisoned, Ryan was feeling ruddy terrible and needed to get to town fast. He paused his rant to quickly throw up. After that, he threw one of his spare Poké Balls at Kakuna, but it just bounced off.

“Aw come on… Abra, attack him again. Slice him!”

Per order, the ever faithful Abra attacked Kakuna again with his claws. Sharp claws though they were, Abra was not experienced with this type of attack. Not to mention, Kakuna had just silently used harden about fifty times.

Shockingly, the swipe attack did nothing. Abra let out a cry of pain, his tears falling hard and fast. He gingerly caressed his sore claws. He looked up to Ryan as if this was all his fault. Ryan was not watching, though. He was falling into delirium as the poison attacked his nervous system. His vision was going fuzzy. He had no choice. He picked up Kakuna again and began running. Vermillion City was closest. His grandmother lived there. He knew the way. They had a gym, so surely they’d have a Pokémon Center. Heck, he didn’t have much of a choice.

Ryan did not wait for Abra. Kakuna continuously stung him in the arm as he ran, but Ryan bit his lip and held back his cries. This was his Pokémon. He caught it fair and square. He couldn’t just leave it. He would suffer through the pain of holding it.

Ryan came into the city, flying at a speed faster than he’d ever gone. He whirled past the houses and buildings and skyscrapers. He ran as far as he could for as long as his legs could hold out against the poison. And then, his vision went black. He dropped Kakuna and fell on the sidewalk.


Morphine is the greatest creation of mankind. Ryan had an IV in his arm. It was on automatic. Apparently he had been hospitalized, though he remembered none of it, and since then, nurses and Chanseys had attended to him. He just lay in his bed through all hours and pressed his button to give him more and more morphine. It was all a blur; he couldn’t even remember why he was here or what injured him enough to get so much attention. The only thing Ryan could think of was how much he loved morphine.

Nurse Joy gave him the hardest bone wrapping on his un-IV’d hand. As she applied it, like she had already applied it to his IV’d hand, she started making small talk. Ryan just nodded and drooled and winced at the hardness being applied and pressed his morphine button until she mentioned his Pokémon.

“Your Abra and Kakuna are in their Poké Balls at your bedside. I was going to mention them earlier, but you were sleeping.”

Then the memories came back. The fight, the catch, the run, the poison… he was a Pokémon trainer! Yeah, Nurse Joy, you’re treating a Pokémon trainer today.

“I just c-caught Kakuna, you know,” Ryan sputtered as best he could.

“Oh really? You must be a Pokémon trainer then. Have you given it a name?”

“A name?”

“Usually you name your Pokémon…” Joy said with a smile and a chuckle. Her eyes sparkled so much. How could they do that? Ryan shifted his position as his arm wrapping became harder and harder.

“Oh… well Abra doesn’t have a name.”

“Can’t you give him one?”

“N-no… he’s my dad’s Pokémon. I can’t do that.”

“Oh, but that doesn’t mean you can’t give Kakuna a name. After all, you caught it all by yourself.”

“I guess…” said Ryan.

Joy continued fixing up Ryan, replacing his IV and cleaning up everything. She brought the two Poké Balls off of the table and placed them in his lap. She smiled at him.

“You can take them out and talk to them. I know it’s probably pretty lonely up here alone.”

“Wait,” said Ryan quickly, “Was Kakuna hard to get in the ball?”

“No,” replied Joy in a high voice, “She went in fine. She’s tame.”

“She?!” Ryan asked.

“Oh yes, your Kakuna is a female. I thought you would like to know that before giving her a name.”

“Oh, thanks,” said Ryan.

Joy gave him one more smile (!) before leaving, closing the door behind her.

Ryan let Abra out immediately. The small Pokémon yawned himself awake and stared up at Ryan with its Brock eyes.

“Abra! Abraaaaa.”

“Aw, did I wake you up, Abra?” said Ryan, grinning, “Sorry about that.”

“Abra.”

“Yeah, I know!” Ryan laughed, not knowing what Abra said. Sometimes it’s good to just go along with things.

Ryan was more hesitant to let Kakuna out. Last time he’d touched this Pokémon, she’d stung him so many times, he had to come here. He looked over at Abra.

“Did Nurse Joy really get her in there?”

“Ra.”

“So she’s nice now? Not gonna sting me again?”

“Ra.”

“You better be saying yes, Abra,” Ryan said.

He opened up her Poké Ball and let her out. He was both prepared to run out of the hospital and spam his morphine button dry if she attempted anything. But she did not. Instead, she just lay, occasionally moving her little face around, but never stinging him.

Ryan gave himself a shot of morphine just because he could.

“Abra, abra ah? Raa bra aaaaabra,” Abra said to the Kakuna.

“Eiieeiiinnggyyeie,” it replied.

“Abra! Bra.”

“Nnnnneeeennee?”

“Aaah.”

Well this was all very interesting, Ryan thought to himself. Well, except for the fact that he had no idea what they were saying. He couldn’t name her nnnnneieieinnei. That would be unsightly. But she needed some name. Ryan had never thought of naming any of his Pokémon. Verily, he knew not that Pokémon were given names. When he read the magazines or saw fights on the tele, they never referred to any Pokémon by name. Why was he supposed to just expect that to be part of the trade?

She was a Kakuna. She was yellow. She kind of looked like a banana. But he couldn’t call her that. That would be embarrassing when he went to the gyms and used her in fights. ‘Banana go!’ would just not work. Especially since he was a boy. They’d laugh. Yes they would.

Then, Ryan thought of the word Kakuna and he realized how similar it was to another word, to another pair of words. It was one of his most favorite songs he ever knew. It was one of his most favorite movies he ever saw. And surely no one would know of the reference to it unless he told them, or unless I tell you, the reader, here now. Which I cannot possibly do.

Ryan sat up as his Pokémon continued talking to one another. He couldn’t understand either of them. He didn’t understand how they, speaking different Pokémon languages, understood each other. But that is a debate for another time. Ryan had already thought up his name and he was ready to tell it.

“Hey Abra, I thought up a name,” said Ryan, leading to both Pokémon to stop talking and turn to face him, “From now on, let’s call her Matata.”

Episode 3: The One Where They Get A Badge

A few days and a few hundred milligrams of morphine later, Ryan was released from the hospital. He had been itching to get out for quite a while, as it was unbearable to be around Nurse Joy in the way he was. You know, without being able to move. Now he was fresh as he was sprung. It was time to go to Lt. Surge’s Gym and get his first badge. His mother had said that was the goal of all Pokémon trainers, and if he was to follow his father’s footsteps, there was no better place to start.

He knew the way, he’d been there before. As previously mentioned, Ryan’s grandmother lived in Vermillion City, which was the closest megapolis to his hometown of Acapulco. He would often sneak away from the drearily droll afternoon tea parties his grandmother held with his family to come down and watch Pokémon fights at Lt. Surge’s Gym.

He knew Surge almost always used a Raichu, but occasionally he’d use other Pokémon if there were a lot of challengers lined up. Ryan didn’t know many of them, just the Voltorb and Magnetron, but they were all equally fierce. He’d have to work some kind of plan up. As far as he knew, Surge only did single duels - 1v1 Pokémon battles. It was either Abra or Matata he would have to use. Thousands of trainers have beaten Surge, though, Ryan thought. He would too.

The walk was not long. Soon, Ryan had found his way, down by the water to the high-walled gym. There were no trainers milling about, but that was okay. He opened the large doors himself and walked in. Inside, he was quickly met with two people. One was Surge, a tall muscular, silver haired man, and a younger girl with pink hair.

“Yeah, that’s some Arcanine you’ve got. I’m impressed.”

“He’s been with me for a long time,” the girl responded with her shoulders shrugged.

“So, you’re training for the Indigo league? How many badges do ya have now?”

“This makes five,” she responded.

Surge laughed in his deep booming, “Well, with that Arcanine of yours, you’ll do great in the league,” Surge stopped laughing as soon as he came around the corner and saw Ryan, “Another one already. Ya wanna badge too?”

“Yeah,” responded Ryan, dropping his voice for the girl.

“Then, let’s go,” said Surge.

The girl smirked as Ryan walked passed her, his chest puffed out, his two Poké Balls presented proudly on his belt. Surge led him back into the gym, to the place where they fight.

“I’d normally use Raichu, but he just got done with a battle,” Surge’s voice rose to a dramatic scream, “So I’ll use Electrode!!”

He threw his ball in an impossibly curved trajectory, and the Pokémon came out. It looked like an upside down Poké Ball, which made Ryan laugh. He, himself, let out both of his Pokémon to weigh them up against the opponent. Abra was good, but Ryan didn’t know all of his attacks. Matata lacked any mobility, but if she got close, she’d be able to do some damage.

Surge interrupted his thoughts, “Those are yar Pokémon?”

“Yeah, they’re all I have!” Ryan yelled back.

“Ya don’t stand a chance with either one!”

Ryan’s confidence shattered immediately, his lip trembling, “Wha… what?”

“Ya kiddin me? My Electrode could shock both of your Pokémon outta here together!”

“Do you really think so?” asked Ryan, timidly.

“Heh, yeah, I’ll even let ya use both of them against me.”

“Whoa, really?!”

“Yeah, I’ll shock ya either way. It’ll make the fight more interesting.”

Ryan kneeled down to begin his attack strategy, “All right, Abra, Matata, this is what I want you to do…”

Behind, the pink-haired girl, who was slightly taller and older than Ryan came in to watch. She folded her arms and leaned up against the far wall.

Abra and Matata moved into the ring. Since Kakunas can’t really move themselves, Abra had to carry her in. Surge, satisfied with his guaranteed victory, began the match. Electrode rolled forward, increasing its speed in a headbutt attack.

“Abra, go!” Ryan yelled.

Abra threw Matata, after she hardened, at Electrode, in a counterattack of headbutts. The harden was enough to stop the enemy, but damaged Matata more than it did Electrode. Abra, meanwhile was instructed to jump aside and try a psywave.

Abra charged up his psywave quickly before sending it right to Electrode. Electrode, still dazed from the headbutt attack was not deft enough to dodge it. The energy sent Electrode flying back, smoking and bruised slightly. Surge yelled to his Pokémon to try another attack, just as Ryan did the same.

Electrode began a thunderbolt attack. Abra was going to do a slashy-claw attack, but Electrode’s attack charged faster. He shot it at Abra, and it connected. Abra let out a low pulsating yell, interrupting itself through the electric shock. He stumbled back, hurt, but not beaten. In this time, Matata had rolled over to behind Electrode.

“Sting 'em, Matata!” Ryan yelled earnestly.

Surge tried yelling to his Pokémon, but it was too late. The stinger plunged into Electrode and instantly poisoned it. Electrode howled in pain, just in time for Abra to lunge in a high jump and come down with a heavy swipe across its face. The Electrode, furiously tackled Abra away, but the poison prevented it from following up with an attack. Desperate, Surge let out one final order.

“Electrode, self destruct attack!”

Electrode nodded and stopped moving. A bright light engulfed it entirely. Ryan simply stood there.

“Hey, do something! That Electrode is going to take out both of your Pokémon if that attack goes through!”

“What?” Ryan said, spinning around. He saw it to be the girl.

“Have them use a defensive attack.”

“A… defensive attack? I don’t know if they have any,” Ryan pondered, “Hey, Abra, do you have a defensive move?”

“Abra, ra,” Abra responded, confidently.

“Then use it! Don’t let that Pokémon’s attack hit you!”

“Abra abra!”

Electrode’s bright white aura started taking over everything, to the point where Ryan couldn’t see anything. It was getting real bad. He just hoped Abra had a move that could hold off this self destruct. Then Electrode exploded. In any other instance, watching someone explode would cause Ryan to do the same, but this is Pokémon.

The dust flew everywhere, and it went into Ryan’s eyes. He coughed and covered his face as the wind picked up, blowing his blue hair all out of place. Still hacking up dust and pieces of the gym, he looked up. His watering eyes could barely give a clear picture, but he did see one thing – a dark, flying shape. Well, that couldn’t be right. Nobody was supposed to be flying.

He blinked about thirty-seven times to clear his eyes. And he saw what it was. Abra, his pointed body in a controlled free fall, breathing heavily, all scratched up, Matata in his hands, but nonetheless conscious. In the crater of the explosion lay Electrode, knocked out. Abra landed a second later, setting down the Kakuna. They were both still in the ring.

Ryan had won. Though he did not know it, and probably would never know it, Ryan had just witnessed the first time in Pokémon history that a teleport attack was used to win a match.

“Well, I gotta hand it to ya, kid. You know your stuff. Never seen an Abra who knew psyshock or barrier before…”

Ryan simply beamed.

The girl must have watched him pull off that spectacular victory. He turned and saw her up against the wall, her arms folded, her heel pulled up against the wall. He smiled at her, but she didn’t look at him. Surge came up behind Ryan, causing him to let out a high scream that echoed through the gym.

“Sheesh kid, I’m just givin’ ya your badge.”

“Oh right, sorry. Thanks,” said Ryan, going quite red.

He pocketed the badge, and left without much more incident. The girl followed him out, and by the time they were outside, back on the road by the water, they were walking side by side. Neither one spoke. The air was as thick as something which is thick and also unmentionable.

The girl stopped up against a fence. She rested her arms on it and looked out over the ocean. Ryan stopped too, awkwardly standing behind her. He knew not of how to approach this. She was a girl after all. She could easily take it the wrong way.

“What do you want?” she asked.

“Uh, I just wanted to say thanks for the help… you know with the badge and all.”

She continued in indignation, “Surge really gave it to you, didn’t he? Two on one against one of his weakest Pokémon. You’re lucky I was there to take out his Raichu.”

“Yeah, thanks.”

The two stood in silence for a few more minutes.

“Well? You’ve said what you wanted to say. Aren’t you going to go now?”

“Um, I don’t really know where the other gyms are, and you are obviously going to them, so I thought-“

She turned around at this, bold fire in her eyes, “You want to tag along?”

“No… not tag along, just come along.”

“That’s the same thing!”

“No, no it’s not. Besides, I can protect you with my Pokémon!” he said, dramatically, if lamely.

“Protection, huh. Yeah, it really looks like you got me there.”

“Great!” shouted Ryan, “Where are we going now?”

“I am going to get my next badge.”

“But what is it called?”

“If I tell you, you’ll follow me,” she said.

“I’m following you anyway,” Ryan replied.

The girl did not respond to that.

“Hey, I’m Ryan by the way.”

She looked over at him, rolling her eyes, “Kelly. Fine, I’m going to Fuchsia City. ”

And thus, a brilliant partnership was formed.

Episode 4: The One Where I Don't Spoil What Happens

Kelly had paid for a boat down the briny, and graciously was Ryan allowed with her. They did not talk all the way to Fuchsia. Ryan didn’t mind. He was too preoccupied with his Thunder Badge. Not many people could get a Thunder Badge like Ryan did. He totally won his first gym battle like it was nothing.

The two silently got off the boat, paid their fare, and began the short walk into the village. It was dusk, but not all that dark out. The moon was out in full, and the village had many lights about that lit the way. Ryan was humming some Lion King to himself when he noticed a dastardly shape moving parallel in the water next to him. Not even stopping, he whipped out his Pokédex, like a boss, and pointed it at this shape. Because, surely, this was a Pokémon as his experience had thus far taught him. And he was right.

“Golduck, the duck Pokémon. Its slim and long limbs end in broad flippers. They are used for swimming gracefully in lakes,” the Pokédex droned out.

“Ah, cool. It’s a water one. I’ve always wanted one of those!” exclaimed Ryan.

Kelly shook her head and continued walking. But Ryan was adamant. He needed a new fighter in his arsenal. He reached down, and threw his two occupied Poké Balls out over the grass. Out came loyal Abra, and his Kakuna, Matata.

Before ordering them to attack, however, Ryan wanted to test something.

“Abra, show me all of your attacks before we start,” he began earnestly, “I need to know what you can do.”

Mr. Loyalty, aka Abra, did so, charging up his blue energy. But then Ryan, all bug-eyed and brash, screamed out with hoarse command:

“I already know about the psychic attack, so don’t show me that, silly!”

“Bra!”

Pokémon have only four moves, they sure do. So Abra went on to show Ryan his three other moves as the Pokémon trainer held his Pokédex out and had it read to him which moves they were. First, Abra created an electrical barrier around him which caused Ryan to go numb; that was his second attack, a thunder wave. For the third, Abra started moving around quickly, creating illusions of himself; and that was double team. Great Poké Balls, that move was useless, Ryan thought. Why on Poké Earth would his father have given Abra that?

But the fourth move wasn’t any better. Just seeing it made Ryan feel like he had woken up sucking on lemon. Abra squatted on the ground, grunting for eons like a certain yellow-haired man of a completely different universe which I shan’t mention for fear of the fanboys coming for me. Needless to say, the Pokédex called this move reflect. Of course, Abra also had the psybeam and teleport (oh no, that’s more than four moves! But we will just forget about that), but we’ve already seen those so no need to rehash them yet. And now you know all of Abras moves. Yep, they’re practically are all TMs. Ryan thought that it must have cost his dad a small fortune to buy all those TMs… and for what? Just an Abra. His father wasn’t rich. It wasn’t even his father’s best Pokémon. He looked down at that little guy and couldn’t help but wonder what was so special about him.

Little did he know Abra was thinking the same thing about his master.

Then Ryan pointed a finger at the wild Golduck who was still swimming at a lackadaisical pace. It was time to own this nublet.

“Attack that Golduck!” Ryan shouted at them.

They nodded in understanding and turned to face the swimming monstrosity. Sure, this was no Kappa, but it looked as diabolical as any river monster could. Ryan was not very familiar with either of his Pokémon’s attacks yet, so he did not dare give them order again on what to do. Instead, he allowed Abra to use its own eclectic arsenal of TMs that his father had given it (and would be impossible to ever find out). Kakuna would help by being a distraction or something. Who knows? Ryan just wanted Mataka to evolve so it could actually fight. The purpose of Kakuna was almost none, and he couldn’t understand how a Pokémon trainer (like himself) was supposed to level up a Pokémon which couldn’t even move, and had like no attacks.

Nonetheless, Abra alone got the Golduck’s attention. A psybeam to it caused the Golduck to stop its swimming, and jump out of the water. It jumped up in a graceful arc before landing on the soft grass in front of the group. Dripping with water, its red eyes livid, it bellowed out its name for all to hear. Yes, it was a Golduck. The Pokédex had already told them that.

It rushed Abra with its claws out. Abra screamed in fear because of how sharp they were. Kakuna grunted itself into a harden so that Abra could block with it. And Abra, not one to be shredded into pieces willingly, did so. He picked up Kakuna, and using her as a shield, blocked all of Golducks’s scratch attacks. Golduck, unsatisfied, tried a tail whip, wagging it in front of the two adversaries, but even that couldn’t lower Kakuna’s harden defense enough.

Abra then attacked, himself, and the psychic attack hit Golduck with a critical hit. Golduck yelped, singed and hurting. It focused itself back on Abra, but it hadn’t noticed Matata latching herself onto its leg. Golduck tried to shake it off, but it was too late. A moment later, Golduck felt Matata sting it. It was poisoned. Screaming in rage, it kicked Matata off of it, and focused on Abra. Using its most powerful attack, blizzard, it covered Abra in a cold freeze. Abra was barely able to move, and subsequently fainted.

“No, Abra!” Ryan yelled, helpfully.

But in this time, something extra-ordinary occurred. Matata turned all white, and began pulsating. Her attacks on Ryan, the Electrode, and now Golduck had evidently put it over the threshold. She was transformed. Ryan quickly pointed his Pokédex at this new being to see what he should call it.

“Beedrill, the poison bee Pokémon. It has 3 poisonous stingers on its forelegs and its tail. They are used to jab its enemy repeatedly.”

“Awesome! I got a Beedrill!” Ryan was ecstatic, “Hey, Kelly, see? Look what Matata transformed into!”

Kelly, who had stopped walking, and stood behind Ryan watching this fight, rolled her eyes, “Yeah, yeah.”

“Although, her name doesn’t really make sense any more now that she’s a Beedrill,” Ryan said.

He had completely forgotten that a fight was still going on. Only when Golduck threw itself at Beedrill, and Beedrill dodged with an air ascension, did Ryan see what was going on.

“Oh, we still haven’t got him yet. Well Beedrill, use your fury attack!”

“Rill!” she responded and attacked.

Golduck, consumed by the poison, had not the dexterity to dodge the fury swipes. Matata rushed it, and jabbed its pointy hands into Golduck. Golduck was hit two times! It stumbled back, preparing its own retaliation, but it was no use. The poison was sapping what strength Abra and Beedrill hadn’t already taken away. It collapsed next to the fallen Abra, and fainted.

“Yeaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah!” Ryan screamed!

If he had a hat, he would turn it around and get all serious before making the camera take a close up of his left eye, then throw his Poké Ball all majestically at the defeated enemy. But he didn’t have a hat, so he just threw the ball normally. He also returned Abra and Matata to their Poké Balls, praising their valor and staunch readiness to his cause.

Kelly did not congratulate him, however. She once again badgered him and nagged him to death on the fact that he didn’t fight fair. Using two Pokémon to catch one just wasn’t right.

“Well, says who?” said Ryan with a fierce scowl.

“That’s just how it’s done,” she replied, simply.

“Well, I can do it however I want. You can’t tell me how to do it!” Ryan said, in tantrum.

Kelly cared not to pursue this argument, letting Ryan feel as if he had won it.

The two walked into town, and looking at the time, saw it was not even eight o’clock. The gym was still open! Kelly mentioned something about fighting tonight, and then began running off down a street to her left. Well, Ryan was all alone. He had no idea where anything in this town was. So he ran after her. She was faster than she looked, and Ryan was embarrassed that he could barely keep up. Indeed, his stomach was cramping within two blocks.

When he finally caught up to her, she was standing inside a large, one story building, with the door open. It was wooden, and planked across its walls and floor. Ryan, wheezing and coughing, entered into the quiet room, and saw Kelly standing a dozen feet ahead of him. In front of her was a tall man wearing blue. Ryan saw them bow to each other, then draw their Pokémon.

The man sent out a small little thing that Ryan knew was a Venonat. Kelly threw her own ball, and out came her legendary Pokémon, Arcanine.

“Whoa, Arcanine…” Ryan breathed to himself.

“Venonat, tackle attack!” The gym leader commanded.

The Venonat did so, throwing itself at Arcanine. Arcanine took the attack, growling softly, but not being damaged badly.

“Arcanine, fire blast!” Kelly said in retaliation.

Arcanine did so, creating a small collection of three pointed flame balls in his mouth. Then, he threw it out at Venonat. Venonat just stood there, its big red eyes shining in fear and hopelessness. The attack hit right on, burning Venonat, throwing it back against the wall. It feebly stood up, but then fell over, completely spent.

“Excellent attack, but you won’t beat me again!” the man shouted.

He threw his second Poké Ball, and out came a Scyther. Kelly withdrew her Arcanine, and threw a second of her own. Out came a Raichu, but it didn’t look like a regular Raichu. It was darker. Ryan could tell by the tail, it was a female.

“‘Aichu, thundershock!”

The Raichu jumped forward, readying an aura of electric around it. It focused this into a bolt of lightning, which came down right on top of Scyther. Scyther was affected pretty badly, as it howled out in pain.

“Now… Scyther… razor wind!” said the gym leader dramatically.

A tornado of who-knows-what began forming, but the Scyther did not attack yet. This razor wind must need some charging up time.

"Growl attack!" Kelly yelled.

The Pokémon did so, but Ryan could not hear it, nor yet even guess as to what purpose such a move had - for not doing any damage puzzled him greatly.

Then Scyther stepped forward and shot the razor wind at ‘Aichu. And it hit the poor mouse squarely. The razors all cut into ‘Aichu, causing massive amounts of cuts to form across its body. It fell to the ground, gasping.

“‘Aichu?” Kelly said, with worry in her voice.

“’Ai, Raichu chu,” it replied, standing up.

“Okay, good. Quick attack, then!”

Raichu moved quickly back and forth, deftly bouncing off the walls and floor to confuse Scyther. But Scyther was not confused.

“Very well, Scyther use your slash!”

Countering the Raichu’s quick attack, Scyther ran forward and rammed its sword-hands down on the running rodent. ‘Aichu was caught off guard, and flew back, hurting badly. Scyther landed in front of it.

“Now, Scyther, finish it off with a hyper beam,” the gym leader said confidently.

Scyther moved forward, preparing the beam when Kelly tried something.

“‘Aichu, thunderbolt!”

“Ai… chu…” it replied.

‘Aichu’s damaged state lent itself to a lethargic setup, giving Scyther enough time to get its own attack ready. As Scyther charged the attack, ‘Aichu stood up and charged a second electric attack. Right before Scyther finished, and could aim at the Raichu, it released its thunderbolt. Multiple long blasts of electric energy rained down on Scyther, and sent it to the ground. It screamed out as the merciless blast hit it again and again. Quickly, its health drained, its stamina left, and it finally fainted. ‘Aichu had won. More importantly, Kelly had won.

Ryan didn’t bother listening to all the congratulations. He barged in and ran right up to the Gym Leader.

“I wanna fight too.”

The man nodded Kelly away, after giving her the badge, and took stance easily, “Very well, I still have two Pokémon left. You are okay with a two on two?”

“Yeah, sure,” Ryan replied quickly.

“Very well, let’s begin.”

“Venomoth, go!” shouted the man.

“Go Matata!” Ryan mimicked.

“Venomoth, use psybeam!”

“Matata, use twineedle!” Ryan mimicked again.

The two met, exchanging attack. They flew back and forth a few times, before Ryan switched his attack.

“Fury swipes, yeah!”

But fury swipes did little to Venomoth. The gym leader simply used sleep powder, and Matata fell. Following that up, Venomoth used a psychic attack, and because Matata was asleep, and defenseless, this thoroughly depleted the Beedrill. Matata fainted in its sleep. Ryan had lost round one.

“Well, do you have a second Pokémon?”

“Yeah, I do,” Ryan replied, “Go Abra!”

Abra came out of his ball, and immediately fell over. He was still damaged from his battle previously, and was in no shape to fight. Of course, Ryan had never learned about the stamina of a Pokémon. He had just thought all Pokémon are immediately healed once they go back in their ball. That’s how it was on TV! But this wasn’t TV, this was real life. And as Abra immediately had fainted, that meant Ryan had lost.

“Maybe you should go heal your Pokémon at the Pokémon Center before challenging me again,” the man said, coldly.

Ryan nodded, dejectedly, before leaving. Kelly had, surprisingly waited for him. She seemed chipper.

“See, when you fight fair, you don’t win,” Kelly said to him.

“Hey, shut up,” Ryan scoffed, “Nobody asked you anything. Just take me to the Pokémon Center so I can go beat him properly.”

Kelly laughed aloud as she led this novice boy out of the Gym, and back down the road to the Pokémon Center.

Episode 5: Melancholic Madness

There comes a time when every Pokémon Master, such as Ryan, must come to terms with their imperfections. Be them tactical errors, or the sheer lack of talent around them, masters inevitably lose battles. And for those who see failure as merely opportunity, such things are held with light heart. But for those, like Ryan, who see nothing but wasted time in such defeats, there will always, invariably, be another long drop in the crater that once housed his confidence.

Kelly had bought a hotel room, and had gingerly offered Ryan company for the night (on the couch, really). At first, he hadn’t known what to say – this girl had not hid her disdain for him prior, so he didn’t know why she would offer such a deliberately awkward invitation. Luckily (or not), Ryan had just lost a brutal defeat to master Koga, and his Pokémon were all injured and such, being taken care of in the nearby Pokémon Center. So, Ryan hastily declined Kelly’s offer, instead propping himself up between two waiting room chairs in the hospital. She had left without another word, which hadn’t caused him much concern at the time. He remained there, ever close to his three little Pokémon, and ever waiting for news of their condition.

Needless to say, he fell asleep about twenty seconds after he was left alone.

In the morning, to the good news that his Pokémon were healed, Ryan slugged awake. He had meant to get another look at this city’s Nurse Joy, but apparently she was off somewhere else. Darn. She must’ve been beautiful. And he had no idea what she looked like. Ah, well.

A Chansey with a trolley approached him, where he still lay in his makeshift bed, and handed him his Pokémon. When inquiring as to their exact conditions, well the only response was ‘Chansey, Chansey!’. One of these days, Ryan would have to learn some Pokémon languages. It would make this all so much easier. But maybe they didn’t have languages. Maybe they just babbled their names to humans and one another for no reason at all. They were Pokémon. Nobody could know. He would tell Professor Oak his theory if he ever met the guy.

He could barely gripe, though. The treatment was free, and Chansey had even brought him some nice fruit bars for breakfast. He sat up, thanking the pink Pokémon before going on his way. Sliding a fruit bar out of its wrapper and into his mouth, Ryan grimaced, realizing that these were apricot flavor. He took it all back. This wasn’t worth it at all.

Before leaving, Ryan made way to the free computer and rang for his mother, hoping to see how she was doing. Mother didn’t answer. He decided to leave a message.

“Hey mom, it’s me. Just, uh, just letting you know I’m still alive! I’ve been out here catching lots of Pokémon and stuff. I’ll have to show you them when I get back… I hope you like them, they have great personalities… Oh, and I got a ba-”

The call cut out, with the time full. He sighed. He hadn’t seen the ‘2 minutes for free calls’ sign posted above the computer until just now. That was just great. He grabbed his bag and left.

It was raining, and the road had already become full of mud pockets by the time Ryan set out for the Gym again. This time, he had his Pokédex out, and was punching in various search queries, searching for, well, a strategy to win. He needed the badge quick, for even though he knew Kelly was long gone, he knew where she was headed, and just maybe he could find her again at the next gym… if he was quick enough here. Hopefully she wasn’t mad at him for declining her previous invitation.

However, Dex was hardly useful; the only noteworthy thing it told Ryan was that he needed more Pokémon; that his Beedrill was absolutely useless. Well, thanks. He already guessed that with the Kakuna form being as horrible as it was. He turned to focus on the entry for Golduck, and looking over its known moves, he worked to memorize a logical pattern with which to use them for. His one knew blizzard and body slam, and that tail waggle attack. Golduck was easily his best Pokémon, as it had taken the collective efforts of both Abra and Matata to down him. There was no better time than a gym battle to test Golduck for the first time - if he won.

The doors were open, and Ryan was glad that no other trainers had arrived yet. He was slightly embarrassed to fight with other people watching. He stepped into the cold grove that was the battle area, squinting for a sign of Koga. There was nothing, not a single sound, aside from the rain patter coming from the door. Heck, the lights weren’t even on.

“Anyone here?!” Ryan yelled, his voice echoing several times.

No response came.

Slightly annoyed, Ryan ventured further inside. There was a sort of Japanese-style garden in the next room, with a great number of trees, and benches, and all that crap. As Ryan tiptoed through some tulips, he noticed a man sitting under a tree. There he was; Koga! Booyah, Ryan had passed the test and found him. Right? That’s what this was. Right?!

“Haha! I found you, Mr. gym leader guy!”

The scream that followed rivaled Ryan’s own at Lt. Surge’s gym a few days prior. Only it came from a man. A grown man. A gym leader. Koga had just screamed like a little girl. It sounded like a cat that had just discovered water. Ryan’s ears were hurting bad, gee golly! Evidently, Koga hadn’t expected anyone. Well, that’s what he gets for leaving the door open.

“I mean… who’s there?” the man stammered.

“C’mon, I’m going to get my badge now, okay?” Ryan said, grinning. “Look at how good I am now. I’ve really learned!”

The master saw it to be Ryan, whose defeat yesterday was fresh in his mind, “Ah… very well, let me just turn on the lights,” Koga scowled.

“Great!”

The two moved out to the secondary battle arena because they battled in the other one yesterday and it would be boring to fight there again. Don’t question me! Lining up, the two readied their Poké Balls. Koga yawned. Ryan smiled. He had just thought up a really cool thing to say.

“Don’t worry, I’ll wake you up!”

Ryan went scarlet faster than… well, I don’t have a proper comparison for that. Let’s just say that Ryan was mightily embarrassed upon hearing himself utter those words which had sounded so much better in his head. He was grateful that Koga either hadn’t heard him or hadn’t cared. He couldn’t tell which. Koga was pretty stoic, yeah. So, on with the fight. The man threw his ball, and in turn, Ryan threw his. It was time to see how good Golduck was.

Koga nodded to Ryan, “You remember Venomoth.”

“No, I don’t. They all look the same to me!”

“Well, I’m sure you’ll remember him after this! Venomoth, psychic attack now!”

The flying moth of veno-metric proportions flew toward Golduck. Ryan had only a few seconds. He thought back to five minutes ago when he’d looked up Golduck’s attacks. That was a long time ago. He barely remembered any of it. But… yes! The most powerfulest attack, he remembered.

“Golduck, blizzard, go! Yeah!”

The time discrepancy caught up to Golduck painfully, as Venomoth’s attack had already come flying forward. A flash of light, and Golduck was thrown backward like a turtle on its back. Struggling to get up, Golduck was taking his sweet time. Koga was already shouting out ‘Toxic attack!’

“Come on, Golduck…”

But this toxic attack was seen by Golduck at the last minute. The blue Pokémon dove aside, dodging it just in time, and landing right below Venomoth, who helpfully stayed still for Golduck. Then, Ryan’s Pokémon began twirling its arms, and like magic, a blizzard just came up out of nowhere. Ryan loved how Pokés could do that.

Soon shards of ice and a full on tornado engulfed the two Pokémon. The Venomoth let out a scream a second later as it was thrown from the Blizzard, and onto the ground. There it lay like a delicious sack of potatoes, all frozen and stuff.

“Venomoth, get up!” Koga demanded. “Sleep powder attack! Now!”

But Venomoth was sluggish, and as it tried to perform a sleep powder attack, it missed again, hitting nothing but the floorboards (who, I’m sure, appreciated the rest).

Ryan grinned. He had them now. Sticking a single finger out in a gesture to the fallen Pokémon, Ryan yelled, “Golduck, body slam ‘em. Kay?”

“Gol-duck!”

He sprinted over to Venomoth, and loyally jumped in the air, stretching out his arms and legs in a perfect effort to body slam the poor ugly beast. Well, it looked like more of a belly flop to Ryan. Still, the bone-crunching sound that followed the beat down was assuredly loud, and not even Koga could deny that Venomoth was done. Yes! Finally, a Pokémon that could use its claws. Ryan would have to remember that.

Shaking his head, Koga returned his first Pokémon, and readied his second ball.

But, no no no. It was all wrong. Golduck looked to be in one heck of a bad time. How? He’d just won. It couldn’t have been… oh, no, Ryan though. It was a belly flop, yep. Now Golduck was not even looking at whoever Koga had sent out, and was just rolling around on the floor grabbing his poor stomach and screaming out in pain. Shucks.

“Gotta return him, then…” Ryan muttered to the audience.

As he did so, he looked up and saw the new opponent was a Koffing. Aw, heck. Koffings were unbelievably powerful. In all the shows he’d watch as a kid, Koffings were always the bad guys, always the final bosses and stuff. And they wouldn’t be if they weren’t beasts! He thought to himself for who to use. Well, it was an easy decision. Matata was just a Beedrill. He had Abra!

“Go Abra go!” he spoke.

Abra had learned well from Ryan’s style of training. Thank Snorlax. This time he was awake when Ryan called him. To Ryan, that meant the world.

“Ra? Abra’a ra.”

“Oh, thanks for telling me, Abra. Now go use psychic on that deadly Koffing!”

“Abra?”

“Come on, just go!”

Abra did so, turning his head to find the Pokémon when Koffing hit him like a train out of Nantucket. It was a pretty brutal tackle. Abra went spiraling, doing several impressive cartwheels before sticking the landing with his face. Ryan was about to interject with his important words of encouragement, but Abra seemed on top of it. He was barely damaged. Abra had rolled over and thrown his clawed hands to the sky. Blue energy formed and shot out at Koffing, who stood there, not even looking at Abra. Couldn’t blame him, though. The walls were very interesting.

The blast hit Koffing, and he let out a wheezing cough of surprise. Oh, and then he fainted. Yep, from one attack. Ryan had won this 2v2 battle like it was nothing.

“I’m so good at this!”

Koga jumped forward, returning Koffing in one fell swoop, “Very good match. You have proved yourself to me, and learned well from your mistakes of yesterd-”

“What mistakes? Come on, I want my badge!”

Koga blinked furiously, as if not believing someone so stupid could have just beaten him, “Yes, here it is!” he threw the badge toward Ryan, who lunged wild and far and missed it quite acutely. “Your Pokémon are impressive. The Abra must at least be level 25.”

Ryan, picking the badge from the ground, looked up, “Huh, what do you mean level 25?”

“Your Abra is highly skilled. To KO my Koffing in one hit like that, he must be very advanced. Of course, using psychic already means he has a TM. You have invested well in him.”

“But humans don’t have levels… what does that even mean?” Ryan asked, squint-eyed.“It means he’s long overdue to evolve. Most Abras evolve at level 16, unless they refuse… Has he refused?”

“Ra! A’ra abra abra abra! Bra ah!” Abra interjected.

Koga nodded, “I see,” and that settled it, apparently. “Well, Ryan, good luck with your journey. If you are heading to Cinnabar Island, you may use the soul badge to give Golduck surf. And then ride him. That’s less expensive than buying a ticket on a boat…”

“I can surf on top of Clawey?!” Ryan said, barely concealing his pure, unbridled joy. “That’s awesome!”

“Clawey?” asked Koga with a raised brow.

“Yeah, that’s Golduck’s new name. Cool, huh?”

Koga was no master of lying, that was for sure. But Ryan was too happy to notice. He ran out of that gym in chipper spirits, not only for knowing that he’d just bested another leader with his grand ol’ skill, but that now he could ride on Golduck like a surfboard. That’s all he’d ever dreamt of doing.


No worries. That’s what it meant. He had just got his second badge, and now he was walking down an abandoned trail toward the water. Ryan had all three of his Pokés out, like one parades around in a showy tee shirt. There was just one problem. Nobody was around.

Humming to himself, and ignoring the deep philosophical conversations Clawey and Matata were having behind, he came to a break in the road, with a path pointing either way, and a huge tree in front of him. There wasn’t just a tree, either. He saw something. It was a Pokémon! All of the others stopped upon seeing it, and Ryan squatted down on the ground. You know, the better to hide from it.

The Pokémon was a long, slender thing. Blue and white, and it had – no joke – wings for ears, and a horn for a nose. Ryan thrust his Dex out to get a reading. But Dex was being difficult, by gum.

“There is no Pokémon in range.”

“Dex, I’m looking right at it. Are you blind or something?” Ryan asked.

“There is no Pokémon in range.”

“Ahh!” Ryan put the Pokédex away and turned to his spectators. “You guys see it, right? Right?”

“Ra.”

“Duck, golduck.”

“Eeieineneieine.”

Yeah, they saw it. That is exactly what they just said.

Ryan knew what that called for; a Poké Ball to the face. Pulling one from his belt, Ryan did a reverse ballerina spin, twirled his arms, and swung back his arm for a fierce overhand throw. He was so good at this. He should be a professional. The ball hit the dang animal directly in the face! But… wait. It didn’t capture it. The ball didn’t even open. And the Pokémon didn’t seem one bit phased by being hit in the face with a foreign object. There was one thing, however. It could just be a coincidence, but as the ball had hit this Pokémon’s face, an errant yell rang through the woods. Some little girl was pretty darn angry.

The bushes rustled, and up came the girl. She threw the Pokémon off of her shoulders and sprinted down to the onlookers with a look that could kill a mongoose.

“Hey, what’s the big deal? Can’t you see I’m tracking Traxus Rex!?”

Ryan did not, of course, “Who?”

“Traxus Rex! My Dragonite! I was so close to getting him. Can’t you just go away, creep?”

“Hey, I was just trying to catch the snake-with-wings-for-ears… I didn’t know you were tracking him.”

“That? Oh you mean Percival Scrawnius Tazomarius. He’s just a stuffed animal.”

“Then why were you going out in public with it?” asked Ryan, innocently enough.

“Hey! Don’t question me. I was tracking Traxus Rex!”

“You already said that,” Ryan rolled his eyes, rather annoyed. “Look, just move out of the way, little girl, so I can catch ol’ snakey.”

“He has a name, you know! It’s Trax-”

“Yeah, yeah,” Ryan waved her away and took up point. He had just seen some movement. The real stuffed animal was on the move. No wait, that wasn’t right. Stuffed animals weren’t real. He glanced back over to the girl. Well, maybe not for most people. But there was another creature moving and it wasn’t the stuffed animal. It had the same ears and nose. This was the real one.

“Hey, hello? Are you listening to me?”

Ryan whispered back at her trying to hide his annoyance, “No, I’m about to catch Thurnax.”

“WHAT?!?!” she screeched. “His name is Traxus Rex! You can’t change that. I already named him like a year ago. That’s not fair!”

“I don’t like that name, so it’s not gonna be his name,” Ryan explained, simply.

“Hey, he’s not yours!” she said, pushing out of her way, and running to grab her stuffed animal.

“He will be,” Ryan shook his head, and took Dex back out. Now that he saw the real animal slinking about in the brush, he pointed toward it.

“Dragonair. According to a witness, its body was surrounded by a strange aura that gave it a mystical look.”

“A dragon! Yeah! All right, let’s get it,” he said to his Pokémon congregation.

“Oh no you don’t,” came a voice high and shrill, “I’ll fight you to protect him!”

It was the girl.

“Seriously? I’ve beat two whole gyms. There’s no way you’re better than me,” Ryan countered, proudly.

“I don’t care about those. Gyms are for stupid people. Anyone can get all the badges. But my Grandmother says I’m an explorer,” she beamed, “so I’m doing things you couldn’t even think of! Oh, and I’m Sophia by the way!” she added in a breathless, irrelevant, rage-inducing quip.

She drew her Poké Balls. And while Ryan prepared himself, he could only think of how much he missed Kelly.

Episode 6: Yes, A Bubble

Here was a girl, a crazy girl, who wore a cornucopia of vibrant colors plastered around her body. She snatched her precious stuffed animal – who’s name Ryan could not possibly remember – into her hands, all while beaming furiously towards him. Clearly, she had been using it to lure out a real Pokémon of the same species; one that she wanted to catch. There it was now, slithering through the bushes much like a snake. But it was much more graceful than any one-eyed snake could be, Ryan knew that for sure. It was a Dragon. It was a Dragonair. And Ryan would catch it.

The small girl’s face contorted into an expression which complemented her attire of clown vomit quite nicely. Seeing the boy opposite her throw his attention toward the bush made her react in reflex to save what was rightfully hers. She snatched, quickly, three Poké Balls from her sparkling belt and threw them toward Ryan (though if one was a keen observer, one might reckon she had thrown them at him). Out popped three of the finest Pokémon this Pokéworld had to offer. Ryan quickly scanned them with his Pokédex, finding them to be a Vaporeon, a Drowzee, and a Spearow. Blimey, Ryan thought. These would be his greatest test yet.

Still, as he stepped forward to combat Sophia’s army, Ryan felt a sense of calm rush over his body; an air of confidence, if you will. He looked down to his three, equal, Pokémon standing on either side. He nodded to them, before throwing his voice back to the girl:

“Abra, abra bra ah abra!” Ryan shouted to, unsurprisingly, Abra. His Pokémon nodded back, and then jumped like twenty-seven feet toward the enemies.

“Golduuuuuck! Duck duck duck!” Ryan screamed again, this time causing Clawey to spring up in likewise action.

“Ieiieieeeeeeieheiiehsieh!” Ryan bellowed, shaking the very trees that stood around them. Since Matata was a flying Pokémon, she couldn’t really jump twenty-seven feet like the others, so she just flew there.

Ryan’s confidence in speaking in Poké Tongues had disallowed him knowledge of what his Pokémon were actually doing, or if their strategies were paying off, but that was unimportant. The real goal of any trainer was to just catch ‘em all. So he let his Pokémon do their thing, and turned his attention toward that slithering snake. He got down on all fours, and began stalking it like any good trainer would do. He found the Dragonair to be so slow, that even in his crouch-walking through the bushes, Ryan could easily gain on it. When he was within a few feet, he pounced, jumping on the creature, wrapping his two little arms around it, and swinging himself back and forth in a manner not unlike someone trying to extinguish themselves from being on fire.

He tackled that beast good. After a few rolls, Ryan heard the Dragonair cry out, and go limp. Puzzled by this, Ryan sat up, and peered forward. Then did he see a large bloody gash on the Pokémon’s otherwise light belly. It was a fresh, open wound, as it still bled. Ryan noticed he too had been doused in the creature’s blood. But that did not concern him. He had seen it wounded, and that was enough for the boy to lose his whimsical disposition. Ryan jumped up, and ran to the Dragonair’s head.

Kneeling down, he spoke softly, “Hey, you’re hurt… Oh, jeez. That’s pretty bad. We need to get you to a Pokémon Center!”

“Neeeee...” it groaned.

“Here,” Ryan said, taking out a spare Poké Ball, “Let me catch you, and I can take you to one.”

“Neeee! Eee!” it whined in distress, pulling away from Ryan as far as it could.

“It’s not a trick, I swear. Please… you’ll die if I don’t help.” Ryan said, exacerbated. The Pokémon didn’t seem to believe him, as it continued to slowly pull itself away from him. Ryan stood up and followed it, this time raising his voice, “Look, I just want to help! I won’t keep you if you don’t want. We’ll just take you to the Pokémon Center to get you fixed, and if you don’t want to stay with me, I won’t make you! You can go back into the wild once you’re better! I’m just trying to help.”

At this, the Dragonair stopped, and quipped softly before turning to Ryan. It raised its long head off the turf, to the trainer’s height, and stared into his eyes. He could see it fighting to even stand up, for its wound had made the creature exhausted. Though he didn’t fully know the meaning of this gesture, Ryan took it as what he had hoped. Raising trembling his hand with the Poké Ball in it, he opened it; in an instant, the dragon Pokémon closed its eyes, and let itself be sucked inside.

Pocketing the Poké Ball, Ryan ran back to the trail only to find his three Pokémon in the midst of a battle. He would be lying had he said he remembered what they were doing. So much had happened since he had sent them to battle Sophia and her minions. He noticed his Pokémon were completely dominating Sophia’s. Yet, he didn’t have time to gloat over the pompous girl.

“Guys, we have to go! Now!” Ryan shouted.

The three looked up with faces of ‘oh come on!’, but seeing the pressing concern of their master, stopped the slaughter. Abra and Co. jumped off of the beaten Drowzee, Vaporeon, and Spearow and loyally followed their master off.

Evidently insulted by the sudden lack of attention, Sophia pouted her lips and chased them down.

“Stop! You can’t just leave right when I was about to beat you!”

Ryan shrugged her off and continued jogging ahead.

“Hey, hello?! Are you listening to me?”

Ryan sighed and slowed to a walk, “Look, I have to go. It was great battling you, but we’ll have to finish that later.”

“Ha!” Sophia proclaimed proudly, victory flush in her face, “I knew it! You’re running away, coward! You couldn’t beat me. Yes! That means Traxus Rex is mine!”

“Who?” Ryan asked.

“The Dragonair, you dummy,” she responded with contempt.

“Cool. By the way, do you know where the nearest Pokémon Center is?”

Sophia stopped her jubilation for a second to process the question. “You can either go to Fuschia City or Cinnabar Island.”

Ryan shook his head. “Well, I just came from Fuschia City, and that’s pretty far back.”

“Then go to Cinnabar Island!” Sophia said, again using her contemptuous voice, “It’s just that way, south. You can’t miss it. All you need is a Pokémon with surf to get there.”

“Okay.”

Then, Sophia stepped forward, with her chin thrust up. Lo, the jubilation had returned “See, arentcha glad I was here? After I beat you so gracefully (because my grandmother told me that’s how a proper princess should act), I was so nice telling you how to get to Cinnabar Island!”

“That’s great,” Ryan said, barely paying attention to the babbling.

Sophia started twirling around, spinning her vibrant clothes in a whirlwind. She closed her eyes and raised her arms as she did so, because that’s what all self-proclaimed princesses do. “You’re lucky I’m so smart. My IQ says I’m a genius, really! I got it tested you know!” She said, humming between sentences.

But when Sophia opened her eyes, Ryan, and all his Pokémon were gone. She sighed something about him leaving out of shame, then went back to collect her stuffed animal, and go catch that Traxus Rex.


Ryan hadn’t felt obligated to tell Sophia that he had taken the Dragonair already, because she was as annoying as the trees were green. He stood on the edge of the water, looking out to the sea. It was a remarkably clear day, and had been since he had left Sophia. Heck, he could see Cinnabar Island from where he stood.

Returning Abra and Matata to their Poké Balls, Ryan instead focused on Clawey, his Golduck. Being that Clawey had the move surf, this was Ryan’s only option to get to the island other than paying for it; and he didn’t have much money to be spent frivolously. “All right, Clawey. We need to get to that island way out there. So you’ll use surf on the water, and I will ride on you, and it will all work out, ok?”

“Duck, gol,” Clawey whimpered.

“Great! Let’s go!”

Ryan climbed on top of Clawey, and pointed ahead, directing his steed into the sparkling water of this glorious summer day. Now, Golducks are small beasts, closer to the size of a lynx than a water-horse or luxurious yacht. So, the mounting and riding was more than a little awkward. The Golduck grumbled mightily as the unfathomable weight of his master pressed down upon his meager shoulders. Ryan assured him they would stop for nothing, which did partially alleviate Golduck’s hapless state. He just hoped they wouldn’t find any water Pokémon out there who would cause them problems. Then, Clawey went off, surfing through the water with his master on top.

It was an hour later that the vastly oversized Ryan riding the vastly undersized Pokémon came surfing into Cinnabar Island at top speed being chased by numerous Tentacools and Tentacruels. Surely, their trip had not gone unnoticed, and had it not been for Clawey’s speed, they would have surely died. As the two barreled in, Clawey’s momentum was too much to cancel out. The result left Ryan flung from the back of his loyal steed, and into the sandy beach of Cinnabar. While the boy himself was sunburnt, hungry, and sporting many scrapes from the landing, he gave no pause – instead, returning Clawey to his ball, and running ahead, to the entrance of the only city he could see.

There was a Pokémon Center near the center of the island, where Ryan dropped the wounded Dragonair off. Nurse Joy gave him a precise time of ‘several hours’ for it to be healed, so Ryan went to the adjoining Poké Mart and bought several healing potions, some Pokémon food, and a few new Poké Balls with the money he had won from besting Koga. Then, settling down, he went to a restaurant to deal with his rumbling stomach. After ordering a sandwich, guilt overtook Ryan, and he let his three Pokémon out, and fed them too. As the four sat there, conversing (which was more like Ryan hoping his Pokémon could understand him), there came a person who sat down on the table next to him. And her face was known to Ryan, it sure was.

“Kelly!” Ryan beamed, smiling and waving to the older girl.

“Huh? Oh, it’s you. You finally got here. Took you long enough,” she said, quietly.

“Hey! You were the one who disappeared after we beat Koga,” he reminded her.

She shook her head, her long pink hair waving violently from side to side. “I never thought you would beat him. There was no point waiting. Besides, you didn’t even want to stay in the room with me. So I thought you were going off on your own adventure.”

“Naw,” said Ryan, laughing, “I was just worried about my Pokémon was all. I guess it doesn’t matter. We’re just here for another badge, right? You prolly have yours already. Maybe after I get this one, you won’t run off again. That would be awesome.”

Kelly slumped her shoulders, and looked down, shaking her head. “No, I didn’t beat Blaine yet. His fire Pokémon are strong, Ryan. My Wartortle was no match. I’m going to have to train for a few days here so I can go back to beat him.”

“Well then, can I train with you too? My Golduck probably could use some extra practice. And that’ll give the Dragonair plenty of time to heal!”

Kelly looked up, with her mouth agape, “Dragonair? You caught a Dragonair?”

“I didn’t really catch him. The deal was he’d get in the Poké Ball and I would take him to the nearest Pokémon Center to get healed.”

“You’re such an idiot,” Kelly breathed.

“What, why?” Ryan replied, genuinely confused.

“It’s not your Dragonair if you didn’t catch it.”

“I-”

Kelly leaned back in her chair. “Look kid, it doesn’t matter. Maybe you’ll keep it, maybe you won’t. But you didn’t catch a Dragonair. Let’s just finish eating so we can go train.”

Ryan obliged, and hastily consumed his food. Thereafter, he accompanied Kelly down to the beach, where they had a nice walk before finding a place to set up at. He let out his Pokémon again, to socialize with Kelly’s. While that went on, the two trainers agreed it would be a waste of their precious money to pay for another hotel, so they set up sleeping bags above the tide, and drew up plans for how to improve their Pokémon by flashlight, throughout the night.

Perhaps it was his mind playing tricks on him, but Ryan swore that, as the sun set, and everyone started drifting off to bed, he saw something in the sky. If he had to describe it, he would have said it was a pink bubble, and a large one at that. He noticed it fly about in the sky for a while, and it seemed to be playing – like a young bird plays with a walnut. And the thing started to drift closer and closer to the camp as time progressed. As Ryan fell to sleep though, he thought he saw two large eyes looking at him through the pink bubble. No, that couldn’t be right, he thought. He must be dreaming.

Episode 7: Decidedly Mild

The next day, the two trainers arose and began planning for Blaine, the fire gym leader. As he was one of the most experienced trainers – and the two had but a single water Pokémon apiece – they were forced into bettering those Pokémon through battling one another. After a few hours of Wartortle and Golduck’s workout, though, the two decided to take a break. Being so near the island’s volcano, they decided to go explore that, because the story’s plot demands it.

After an uneventful travel across the black beach, toward a muddy grotto at the base of the great volcano, the two noticed a crack in rock-face. Peering in, they noticed a large, hollowed out cave, with crags of magma flowing about. And in the center, huddled together in a collective ball, were a slew of red Pokémon. Ryan’s heart skipped a beat as he unconsciously grabbed his Pokédex and pointed it at the group of red animals.

“Charmeleon, the Flame Pokémon. Tough fights could excite this Pokémon. When excited, it may blow out bluish-white flames.”

“Yes!” Ryan yelled, pumping his fist into the air, “I’ve always wanted one of these! You know, Charmeleon evolves from Charmander, who’s my favorite starter, Kelly.”

The older girl ignored him.

“Fine then. I’m busy catching Pokémon, anyway. Matata, I choose you!” Ryan unhooked Matata’s Poké Ball, then did a masterful spin before chucking her through the small looking hole. Upon letting her out, he quickly ordered her to use focus energy on the nearest Charmeleon.

The move had little effect aside from waking one of the beasts and making it sleepily, lazy, quiet growl toward Matata’s general vicinity. This formidable attack left Matata shivering and quite scared. It was a fearsome growl!

“Now use fury attack, Matata!”

Matata obeyed, and roared toward the creature. Charmeleon was taken aback by the speed of the Beedrill; it was quickly overcome by several quick hits. Charmeleon stumbled back after the fourth hit and retaliated with a quick ember attack. Matata was hit head on, and after being engulfed by the flames, fainted.

And despite Ryan’s surprise, Kelly, who was watching the fight unfold, simply laughed. “You really don’t know anything about Pokémon, do you?”

“Why would you say that?” Ryan retorted with a look of sheer displeasure.

“If you did, you would know that bug types are weak against fire. We went over this this morning. Water beats fire. It’s how we’ll beat Blaine. You should have used Golduck against Charmeleon if you wanted one so bad.”

“Well, I’m not done anyway!” Ryan said, his face flushed. “Go old faithful!”

Like a magnificent geyser, Abra shot forth from his Poké Ball. He landed in the cave, scratching the back of his head and yawning. “Brah? Rah rah Abra!”

Ryan nodded. Yeah Abra, tell them who’s boss. Sing it sister.

Suddenly, like a fly hitting a windshield, Abra was engulfed by red hot flames. “Abraaaaa!” he screamed in pain and surprise. The villainous Charmeleon was standing fierce, opposite of the psychic Pokémon. He was not about to be caught without a fight.

“Oh jeez!” Ryan said in shock. “A-abra, are you okay?”

“Ra!” replied Abra, extra crispy. The smell of him made Ryan’s mouth water.

“Okay, then use Thunder Wave!” Ryan commanded, pointing to the Charmeleon.

His Abra obeyed and shot the electricity from him like he was a proper pikapi. Charmeleon just sat there and absorbed the shock and was also shocked. It was incredible. The yellow bolts jumped across his body like fleas and soon Charmeleon fell to his knees and howled out in pain.

Ryan whooped a good whoop. “Ha! Charmeleon is paralyzed! It may be unable to move,” he recited, his finger up.

“Great job. You’re the best trainer in the Pokéworld,” Kelly breathed out. She didn’t seem like she meant it.

He ignored her. Now was the time to fulfill Ryan’s destiny. Now was the time for Ryan to get the starter he had always wanted. “Now, Poké Ball, go and catch me my new ‘mon!”

The blue-haired trainer threw a ball towards the paralyzed Charmeleon as if he were an Olympic athlete. Yet the ball landed a good 15 feet in front of the fire lizard. Must’ve been the wind. Ryan scowled.

“Hey, you, get over here!” he hollered to the Charmeleon. The Pokémon just looked at him and let out a low growl, though his paralysis seemed to be holding him back. In but a moment, Ryan went from being a winner to a crestfallen little non-winner. How was he to get Charmeleon now? That cave was dark, hot, dangerous, scary. No way he could step in there. Then he spied Abra, his old friend; his true friend; his shield; his sword.

“Abra! Quickly, grab the Poké Ball and throw it at Charmeleon!”

“Ra? Abra abra!” his future sweeper replied.

Ryan couldn’t blame him. It was unexpected. It was unprecedented. Abra would be the Pokémon to catch a Pokémon. He would be a trailblazer, a Pokémon amongst men. It would be like a pig eating bacon if pigs existed in the Pokémon universe. He would be a legend, born today.

“Just do it, buddy-o!”

“Bra.”

Abra used his psychic abilities to grab the fallen Poké Ball and bring it over to his clawed hands. Then, he grasped the small ball and did a little ballerina twirl. “Abraaa ra!” he yelled, doing a double backflip as what seemed like fireworks were going off in the background. “Ra ra abra!” There was audible applause when he landed the difficult acrobatic maneuver, though from whom Ryan could not see.

He threw that ball, he did. He was Abra, king of the ‘mons. He slept all day. He could learn teleport. He was the greatest there ever was. The Poké Ball traveled faster than the winds over to the red lizard and as it opened, Ryan saw Charmeleon try to fight against it. But he was paralyzed, so he couldn’t do anything. What a shame. Soon, a red light covered the Pokémon’s visage, and after a flash, he was safely in the ball. Abra picked it up, showed a peace sign to the camera and then scampered back to Ryan.

“Aw, Abra, you did it!” Ryan was jubilant. He was ecstatic. “You’re number one, buddy!” he patted Abra on the head. “And you’re number forty-seven for doubting me,” he sneered at Kelly.

She rolled her eyes and bit her lip.


After a short trip to the Pokémon Center, Ryan and Kelly returned to the beach with the intent of training up their Pokémon for old Blaine the Bold. The sun was already beginning to set, but the air was still warm, smelling of salt and promise. Ryan was a bit anxious, for he only had one water Pokémon. Matata would be useless against Blaine’s fearsome guys. Abra and his Charmeleon wouldn’t be much better. So it was all up to Golduck. Ryan had briefly entertained the thought of purchasing a fishing rod, which looked like a rather old rod in truth, but he had not the Poké Dollars to buy it. He needed his money for more important things, like twix bars. After all, food tasted better than catching Tentacools. Contrary to popular belief, they were not all that cool.

When the two reached the sand, they spied a host of people ahead. There were tents and umbrellas and loud music and beach balls and girls playing beach volleyball with naught but bikinis on. This was Ryan’s type of party. He nodded their way to Kelly, who looked more annoyed than ever. But she couldn’t really train her Wartortle without Ryan’s help, so she bit her lip and followed him into the din of partygoers. There were dozens of them – men, women, boys, girls, and Pokémon too. Ryan got excited at that and instantly let loose all of his Pokémon with the flick of his wrist. Matata, Abra, Clawey, and Charmeleon came fluttering out. He watched them for a moment, and he realized he still needed to give Charmeleon a nickname. Maybe after the party.

Ryan gave his ‘mon a few Poké Dollars and told them not to waste them – for they would get no more from their fickle trainer – and then bade them off. He looked to his left and saw that Kelly was already sitting at a table and drinking from a pitcher of orange juice like a ravenous raver. So Ryan found himself alone and he started wandering through the beachgoers, searching for his own pitcher of orange juice. It was then that Ryan beheld a most glorious sight that made him stop in his tracks.

In the sand, there was a huge entity. Ryan knew what it was as soon as he saw its figure, even if he couldn’t see it properly because the sun was setting right behind it and silhouetting it. “A Snorlax…” he mumbled to himself excitedly. “Cool!” He reached for his Poké Balls when he realized all his trusty pals were out and roaming about. He had no one to catch snorrey with. “Curses!” he whispered just as a girl walked in front of him. She met his eyes and looked at him like he was a lunatic. He frowned and stared back at her. She didn’t know why he had yelled that. Stupid assumptive girl.

Without any Pokémon, Ryan was low on options. So he resolved to just throw a Poké Ball at the Snorlax. It was sleeping, so maybe it couldn’t say no to the ball. Ryan jumped in the air, putting on a dramatic performance of moves and twirls in the sand. He instantly regretted his moves, for sand got all in his shoes. He shivered. He hated that. Still, Ryan had to clear his head and focus, for he was about to catch a Pokémon he’d always wanted.

“Go get a Snorlax!”

The ball flew forward and hit the Snorlax in the side of the belly, getting stuck in one of the rolls of fat. Ryan was perplexed. He lurched forward, his mouth agape. What had just happened? Why hadn’t the Poké Ball opened?

“Are you serious?!” came a sudden booming, warm voice. Suddenly, the Snorlax stood up and Ryan saw that he was face-to-face with a human, not a Pokémon. “Really?” the former Snorlax said, his voice rich as honey with disbelief. He plucked the Poké Ball out of his rolls of fat and handed it back to Ryan. “What were you trying to do, man?”

Ryan scratched the back of his head. “Uh, well…” he blushed. “I-I thought you were a Pokémon. Honest mistake, dude.”

“Are you serious?!” the guy repeated, this time rolling his head around like a turtle and looking this way and that at everyone watching the spectacle. He had a glimmer in his eye and an incredulous smile on his bronze face. And he tugged at his sweet-as-tauros goatee with a few fingers. It clothed his chin like bikinis clothe hot girls. It really was a spectacular goatee. Ryan felt a pang of jealousy. He wanted to be able to grow a goatee like fake Snorlax.“Do I look like a Pokémon?”

“Not anymore,” Ryan admitted.

“Ugh!” the other replied, throwing his arms up into the air. “I wonder which Pokémon you thought I was. There’s only one it could be.”

“No, it’s not like that,” Ryan assured the big man. “You… uh… you reminded me of Mr. Mime!”

“Sure,” the once-a-Snorlax replied sarcastically.

Ryan sighed. “Look man, I’m real sorry I threw a Poké Ball at you. Can we just forget it?”

The other’s eyes suddenly shot up like a dog’s. “Deal.” He thrust out his dark hand to shake Ryan’s. With his other he produced a screwdriver-like device and raised it to the sky like it was a fine glass of wine. “I’m Doctor Rahul Kanojia!” he squealed out.

“Doctor… who?” Ryan asked, for he barely comprehended the outlandish name.

“Exactly!” Rahul replied. He patted Ryan on the back of his back. “Come on, let’s get you a drink.”

To say Ryan was confused would be like saying generation one was the best generation. He had barely heard this self-proclaimed doctor’s name; and the doctor hadn’t even asked for Ryan’s. Was he serious?

Rahul moved forward to a table, putting each arm around a girl in a bikini. He turned around and looked at Ryan, beaming. “Are you hungry?”

Before Ryan could respond, Rahul whistled. Within a moment, a breathless girl came flying onto the scene, a plate of hot wings held delicately in her hands.

“Here you go Rahul! Hope I was fast enough,” she said, handing him the plate.

Rahul laughed. It was not as hearty as Ryan had expected. He took a bite out of a hot wing, spilling its sauce all over his face. He didn’t even care, even though he wasn’t a honey badger. He gestured for Ryan to come forward and eat off his plate of hot wings. Ryan was just in awe of Rahul’s ability to whistle and summon hot wings out of nowhere. It was magic, truly. How could he learn to do that too?

Ryan sat with Rahul, learning about how great of a doctor he was and eating hot wings when suddenly, a flash of flames caught Ryan’s eyes. He turned his head just in time to see a roar of flames and sand go by him. It was so close that he felt the heat and said goodbye to his eyebrows. He blinked the sand out of his eyes just in time to see the flames go rushing by again. This time he saw what it was – a girl riding a Rapidash. Ryan audibly gulped. It was a beautiful, haunting sight. She was literally riding in her mount’s flames, but Ryan knew that was possible so long as the owner had the trust of the Rapidash. His father had a Rapidash too, and it was his prized Pokémon. Ryan had considered taking old Rappy instead of Abra when he set out on his journey, but he figured his father would miss his favorite Pokémon too much. He still sometimes thought about it, though he did not regret his choice in Abra, the truly loyal steed.

The girl riding the Rapidash was not much older than Ryan. She had blond hair and green eyes, and she was scantily clad. She looked like she was wet, as if she had just been spit out by the ocean. In each hand, she had a shot glass and she was doing shots of apple juice. Ryan admired her skill. Crowds of people had encircled her and now they were cheering as she rode the Rapidash around in skillful fashion. Ryan entertained the thought of running up to her and asking for a ride, but he quickly reminded himself that he was a part of society, and that was not something people in society do. So Ryan sat down, ate some more hot wings, and admired Rahul’s unrivaled goatee. He just wanted to tug on it like one tugs on grass.

As Ryan was sitting on a bench with Rahul and Rahul’s two token babes (whom Rahul, in all his physical Snorlax likeness had somehow managed to woo), he spotted his recently acquired Charmeleon. Pride swelled up in Ryan’s throat. He had caught that Pokémon all by himself. He was amazing; he was the best. He was a true Pokémon master.

“Hey Charmeleon, come here!” Ryan shouted. The Charmeleon looked at Ryan but did not move. Perhaps it didn’t hear him. So Ryan flailed his arms about as if he were having a seizure and flung himself into the sand like a fish out of water. Sure enough, the Pokémon understood that and trotted over.

“Charmeleon!” Ryan said, proudly. “I caught him today!”

Doctor Rahul took a bite out of a hot wing. He grunted in pleasure at its taste. Hot grease ran down his mouth into his goatee and he seemed like he loved it.

“Now let’s give you a nickname,” Ryan began, taking out his Pokédex. “All right, Dexy. I want to give Charmeleon a nickname.”

“This Charmeleon already has a nickname,” the Pokédex stated.

Rahul took another bite out of his hot wing. Grease and sauce splattered on his face. He smiled. He was happy. Perhaps eating hot wings was his natural state. And whenever anyone walked by, he would raise his left hand, which held the screwdriver-like device in it and wink at the passerby. It made him look homely and homeless at the same time.

“No way!” said Ryan. “He was a wild Pokémon. He couldn’t have a nickname. Lemme name him already!”

“This Charmeleon already has a nickname,” the Pokédex stated a second time.

“No! His name is supposed to be Aegon! Do you hear me, Dexy? Make his name Aegon! I command you!”

“This Charmeleon already has a nickname,” the Pokédex stated a third time.

Rahul sucked the succulent meat off of the bone of his little hot wing. He was surgical, precise, deliberate with every bite. This was not his first hot wing. He was a master in his own right, well learned and masterfully trained in the art of eating these little treats. Hot grease ran down his lips into his goatee. He smiled in pleasure. Hot wings did taste good.

Ryan was getting annoyed now. “How?! He’s wild!”

“This Charmeleon already has a nickname,” the Pokédex stated a fourth time.

“I know, I know!” Ryan shouted, banging his Pokédex on his thigh. “At least tell me what his nickname is!”

Rahul found another hot wing under the house of bones he had created with the ones he had already consumed. His little fingers started going real fast and his face lit up as if he had just won a million Poké Dollars. He quickly grabbed the hot wing and took a voracious bite out of the cooked flesh. Hot grease ran down Rahul’s face into his goatee and he moaned out in pleasure of eating his food. The two girls in their bikinis just sat next to Rahul like statues, as if they couldn’t – nay, wouldn’t – see what was going on between them. Playing beach volleyball wouldn’t be nearly as fun as watching a Snorlax wannabe tear into hot wings without respite.

“Charmeleon’s nickname is ‘Get Over Here’,” Ryan’s Pokédex spoke in monotone.

“What?!?!” Ryan screamed so loud that everyone around stopped what they were doing to stare at him for exactly four seconds before returning to their personal activities. “How is that his nickname?”

“Dontcha ‘member,” a slurred voice spoke up from just behind Ryan’s ear. “Thass what you called ‘im when ya caught him,” Kelly nodded in a lethargic way. Her eyes were glazed and she was covered in sweat.

“Kelly?!” Ryan squinted his eyes. “What’s wrong with you?”

“Oh, nothin’… juss had a little too much orange juice!” she stated proudly before hiccupping. “You… you came up with a really great name for Charmey. Really great. I love it. I love you.”

“Okay, okay. That’s enough!” Ryan raised his arms and stood up. He pocketed his Pokédex and grabbed the pink-haired girl by the shoulders. “Kelly, I need to get you back to our tent. You’re really in no condition to stay here.”

She laughed and drank some more orange juice.

Ryan thrust his face into his palm. “Come on, let’s go!” He turned to Rahul. “And it was nice meeting you, Doctor Rahalakanijiwali.”

Rahul raised his screwdriver to the sky, hot grease pouring down his face into his goatee.

Ryan then helped the stumbling Kelly away. “Come on Charmeleon, let’s go home!”

“Meleon,” it replied in deadpan, crossing its wee arms.

Ryan scowled. “Fine. Come on, Get Over Here!”

The fire lizard barked and then ran on all fours over to his new master with happy vigor. Ryan sighed. At least he had a Charmeleon now. That was better than nothing.

Episode 8: Sweet

Ryan awoke to the sounds of distant music and cheering. He got up, stumbled out of his tent, furiously blinking his blurry eyes into clarity. Peering out of his tent flap, Ryan noticed the beach partying was still going on into the early morning. The sun was barely rising across the cool water, and still there was party music blaring out across the otherwise serene beach. Squinting, Ryan could see the far-off shapes of people dancing about and a flaming Rapidash galloping through the sand.

Ryan stole a look over to the tent next to his. There was no movement coming from within it. Maybe Kelly was sleeping. That would be good. The last thing he wanted was to have to deal with her in all her orange-juice-deprived glory. So Ryan slipped on a pair of sandals, grabbed his Poké Balls, and decided to visit Cinnabar Island’s town just for the heck of it. He soon found the town deserted, save for a drowsy-looking Drowzee who was stumbling about with a tin can of long-expired beans in its hand. Ryan passed the Pokémon and made his way to the town’s Poké Mart. Once inside, he let out all four of his super cool ‘mon and let them run around to their hearts’ content. They went screaming around the aisles, grabbing for candy bars and shiny objects and other cool gadgets. Ryan left them and strode up to the counter, where a burly, somnolent man manned the register.

Reaching the counter, Ryan noticed a poster hanging on the nearest wall. It had a picture of a boy slightly younger than him riding a Porygon. Below it was a bounty for two million woolongs. Ryan walked over to the paper and eyed it carefully.

“Who’s this?” he asked the cashier.

“Some kid. He’s been terrorizing the mainland with his fearsome team of Pokémon. If ya ever find him during your travels, defeat him in battle and then hand him over to any Officer Jenny for a big reward.”

“I’ll remember to do that when I return to Kanto. I’m a great trainer, so it shouldn’t be a problem,” Ryan replied. A few extra Poké Dollars would be great for his pocket. He just wondered what the conversion rate from woolongs was.

“You wanna be the very best?” the cashier asked inquisitively.

The boy’s eyes sparkled like a shooting star. “Like no one ever was!”

The man’s own eyes narrowed, unconvinced. “To catch them is your real test, huh?”

“Well,” Ryan shrugged modestly,“to train them is my cause. Anyway, I need some new Pokémon food for my buddies,” Ryan continued. “I caught a Charmeleon yesterday, so I need whatever he eats.”

The man grunted and pulled up some bags of food from behind the counter. One for Abra, one for Matata, one for Charmeleon. Ryan never bought Clawey any food because he liked to catch Magikarp in the ocean. As Ryan went to pay for the food, his Pokémon came running up to him, each with several items in their hands.

“Brah… abra ra! Abra!” Abra squeaked, brandishing two candy bars like swords in front of his master. Ryan chuckled and plucked them from Abra’s claws and added them to his purchases. Abra was wearing a pair of black, pointed sunglasses that he evidently wanted as well, and after thirteen minutes of pleading, Ryan finally agreed to buy them.

“Shieieieieieilaahahahahaha!!!!” Matata had her mouth full of candy, and Ryan quickly ripped the precious sweets from her teeth before she could tear through the wrappers.

“Duck duck duuuuck!!” Clawey was dancing around with a pair of maracas, which made Ryan wonder if the blue animal had taken a sip from the orange juice as well. Still, he put them on the counter for Ryan did not want to upset his most valuable Golduck.

“Meleon, char!” Get Over Here barked as he came sidling up wearing a top hat and sporting a fine antique monocle. Ryan was left in awe by the fact that the Poké Mart even carried such arcane merchandise. Begrudgingly, he added them to the pile. The noble trainer also grabbed a small bottle of advil for Kelly when she woke up. She’d owe him big for that. Real big.

“That’ll be 1300 Poké Dollars,” the cashier said in his dreary voice after counting up all the things on the counter.

Ryan sighed and pulled out his wallet. Inside, he found exactly 1300 Poké Dollars. “Oh come on!” he yelled to no one in particular. The cashier thrust out his hand, his fingers working the open space like he was tickling a Tauros’ tummy. “Okay, okay. Chill out man,” Ryan growled in annoyance. He handed the crisp Poké Dollars to the cashier, gathered up his purchases, and then high-tailed it out of there. He was a penniless trainer. He was quite literally without pennies. Even one penny would be a great uptick in his wealth at this point.

Ryan returned to his camp and found Kelly sitting just outside her tent. He threw her the bottle of advil and a candy bar.

“Hey,” she said hoarsely. “Where were you?”

“At the Poké Mart.”

“Found anything good?” she asked, looking at Abra’s sunglasses, Get Over Here’s top hat, and Clawey’s maracas. She suddenly burst out laughing but then groaned and felt her head. She probably had a massive migraine after her escapades last night.

“Some stuff, I guess. And Kelly, you should take that advil right now. It’ll help with the hangover.”

Kelly went red. “I don’t have a hangover!”

Ryan shrugged. “Whatever. Advil and water’s what my dad used to take when he got hungover. Trust me, I know how to deal with this stuff.”

Kelly just gave him the stink eye. She was well-practiced in that maneuver.

“So I need to challenge Blaine now,” Ryan spoke. “After that last trip to the store, I’m dead broke.”

“But we aren’t done training Golduck and Wartortle!” Kelly objected.

“So? They’re water Pokémon. They should win. Besides, they’ve already been through a lot of training together. I’m sure they’re way stronger than before.”

“We only have one water Pokémon apiece, Ryan. Blaine uses three fire Pokémon in his Gym Battles.”

Ryan scratched the back of his head. “Well, how badly did you lose when you fought him last time?”

“I took out his Ninetails and Rapidash, but his Arcanine defeated me.”

“Well, then use your other Pokémon too.”

“He had already taken out ‘Aichu and Fluffy,” Kelly admitted. “Tortilla was the only one who managed to do some serious damage.”

“Who are those ones again?” Ryan asked, puzzled. How could he possibly be bothered to know what Kelly’s nicknames for her Pokémon were?

“Raichu and Arcanine, of course. My Wartortle is my only chance, Ryan. If he’s not strong enough…” Kelly trailed off, looking out over the cool ocean. “Maybe I could catch another one.”

“Yeah, you go do that. That’ll be great! I believe in you!” Ryan shouted, punching his fist into the air. Once he finished, he supposed that he had overreacted a bit. Who knows, though.

“You aren’t going to listen to me, are you? You’re going to challenge Blaine no matter what I say?”

Ryan screwed up his face. He had to look like a hero. He was born to be a hero, not to mention a winner. He had to act like it. “Yeah! Just after this candy bar!” His face softened. “Look, Kelly. I need the badge of course, but the money’s even more important right now. Unless you want to fish Tentacool out of the ocean, we’ll need money to buy more food. These candy bars won’t last forever. ”

Kelly couldn’t argue with Ryan’s statement because Ryan was a master debater and she was just Kelly. So Ryan, happy with his verbal victory, took a fierce victory bite out of the nearest candy bar (getting his daily dose of sweet, sweet chocolate) as he looked off into the distance. He saw the partyers still going at it, but he didn’t see the Rapidash anymore. Rapidash. He wondered if that beast belonged to Blaine. If that was the case, then who was that pretty girl riding it?


Ryan found a long list of trainers outside of the Cinnabar Island gym. Most of them were looking pretty depressed, as if they had just eaten a ghost pepper for the third time in their lives. A good deal of them were missing their eyebrows, and their faces were lined with light burn and soot marks. Ryan was sure that was from either the pepper or the gym, but he wasn’t sure which one.

Just outside the door was a familiar face - Doctor Rahul Kanalanapia. The bronze-skinned dude was basking in the sunlight and eating a plate of barbecue ribs. The sauce was all over his mouth and cheeks and neck and hot grease was running down his finely-combed beard. Even as his stomach growled in protest, Ryan smiled. Rahul was so cool. What a guy.

“Hey Rahul,” Ryan said, waving towards the behemoth of a trainer with one of Clawey’s maracas’ in each hand. Assuredly, Ryan was sporting the attire all of his Pokémon had picked out earlier, so the regal top hat, monocle, and sharp black sunglasses, supported by the maracas and his regular clothes was clearly a queer sight indeed. Ryan thought it looked great, though; just great. He hadn’t had a sip of the orange juice, no sir. He was going to impress Blaine with his swag. He would get that old man to holla holla.

“Oh hey… Ryan, right?” Rahul croaked, barely looking up at the boy or noticing his pristine appearance.

“You remembered! Great job!” Ryan said, giving Rahul two thumbs up. “Did you beat Blaine yet?”

“Blaine? No no no. I beat Olivia,” Rahul corrected Ryan with a barbecue-plagued finger. “She really wasn’t that hard, y’know?”

Ryan was as confused as a Ponyta on a treadmill. “Oh, I thought Blaine was the Fire Pokémon master…”

“Well, you thought wrong,” Rahul said before taking a deep bite out of one of his ribs. He grunted softly to himself in deep pleasure after tasting the sweet meat. Ryan couldn’t stop his mouth from watering. Curse living on candy bars!

“Okay, well I’ll be back out in a little bit. I need to defeat this Gym Leader first. I hafta get the Volcano Badge!” Ryan shook the maracas violently over his head to get his point across. He desperately needed the badge to get into the Indigo League Tournament like his father before him. He had to make his family proud. That way his mother wouldn’t see him as a disappointment, a high school dropout with no future, and his father wouldn’t see him as tarnishing his own legacy. Ryan would win the tournament for them. He had to.

“Sure,” Rahul said, waving a half-chewed rib in Ryan’s general vicinity. “I’ll be here when you get back.”

“Save me a rib!” Ryan pleaded earnestly.

“No promises,” replied Rahul.

Ryan nodded and then ran off to the gym entrance. He had to defeat this Olivia girl fast… if he wanted to get one of those ribs before Rahul devoured them all. Rahul smiled broadly, bobbing his head up and down like an apple in water and gestured for Ryan to enter the door to his right. Ryan saw that it was, unmistakably, the gym entrance. He nodded to Rahul, felt his heart pounding in his chest, took a deep breath, and then stepped inside.

Inside, Ryan found himself hit by a wall of heat. The lights were dimmed, and he had to move by feeling his way, rather than seeing properly. The room was cluttered with chairs and tables and what appeared to be statues of people. As he neared them, however, they moved slightly, but he never got in their lines of sight, so they just stood still. That was quite weird, but Ryan didn’t know what to do about it. His immediate thought was to throw a Poké Ball at one of them, but his encounter with Rahul the night before had already tackled that joke well enough.

As he walked past one of the statues, Ryan caught a glimpse of its face and saw it to be human. He let out an audible gasp and nearly fell over in surprise. The human - a boy slightly younger than Ryan himself - took this cue as his moment to jump forward and challenge Ryan to a duel.

“Pokémon battle, begin!” the boy screamed, waving a Poké Ball over his head like a madchild. “I’m Super Nerd!” he shouted proudly. “If you want to fight Gym Leader Olivia, then you’ll have to get past me first!”

Ryan frowned. “Uh, I’m not here to battle you. I just want a Volcano Badge.”

Super Nerd started foaming at the mouth and dancing to a song Ryan could not hear, frantically poking the air all around him as if he was in some kind of frenzy. “Fight me! Come on! Fiiiiiight meeee!!!”

“Um, no thanks,” replied Ryan, stepping forward and pushing Super Nerd out of the way with his hand. Maybe he has rabies, Ryan thought.

Super Nerd fell to the ground with the frailty of a piece of paper in the wind. “Bu-but…” he stammered. “No fair! You have to fight me.”

But Ryan was already gone. He wasn’t in the gym to fight some weird little nerd statue dude. He couldn’t afford to have even one of his Pokémon injured in battle before facing Olivia. He wasn’t even sure if his existing team was good enough as it was. He felt anxious at that, his heart beating so hard that he could hear it in his ears with every step. So Ryan started shaking the maracas as he walked to drown out the cursed noise.

After some time, Ryan slogged his way into a large cavern, where stalactites and stalagmites grew from the rocky surfaces like gnarled teeth. He supposed that he was in the heart of the town’s volcano now. His entire body was slicked with sweat. There ahead of him, situated over a pool of molten lava, was a medium-sized battle platform. It hung from the ceiling with rusty chains and swayed slightly with every earthly volcanic rumble. As he started moving forward, Ryan caught a glimpse of flame, instantly sending him into déjà vu. Blinking sweat out of his eyes, Ryan saw the Rapidash and the girl who rode it so well come flying into view.

“Whoa there!” the girl shouted. She was wearing blue short shorts, a small red crop top which revealed much of her flat stomach, flip-flops, and a light blue bandana around her forehead. She was very pretty, Ryan realized, and he barely heard what she said next because of that. “What do you want?!”

Ryan shook his head to clear his thoughts. “A-are you Olivia?”

She studied Ryan’s face and then dismounted. “Sure am. So are you here for a Volcano Badge?” She reached for something in her pocket, then produced a small red button that looked like a flame. She held it between two long fingers as she thrust it into Ryan’s face. It glimmered red in the flames of the Rapidash. “One of these?”

“Yes please!”

She let out a sly smile. “You’ll have to battle me for it. My father entrusted me to run this Gym properly, and I’ll do it! You’ll have to earn this badge!”

“Your father’s Blaine?”

“Yeah, he’s sick right now, so I took over gym battle duties. I’m not as experienced as him, but you shouldn’t underestimate me.”

“I won’t,” Ryan promised the girl a promise he knew he could keep.

“Good!” Olivia beamed, flicking her golden hair out of her eyes. “Three-on-three, okay? No gimmicks, no surprises. Whoever has the most Pokémon left standing at the end wins, got it?”

“Yeah.”

“Then, let’s party!” Olivia shouted. In one fluid motion, she jumped on her Rapidash with grace and then led him across the hanging platform to the other side. Once there, she stayed mounted on her Rapidash even as she readied a Poké Ball in her hand. Ryan did likewise. “Ready?!” she shouted his way.

“Ready!” he echoed back.

Ryan took a deep breath, swallowing his fear and anxiety. The time for all of that was done. Now, he just needed to fight, to prove himself. He needed to show everyone that he was a Pokémon master after all. He grabbed a Poké Ball off of his belt and held it in his hand. The volcano rumbled then, and splashes of lava flew into the air all around him. Yet Ryan was not scared by the lethal hot liquid shooting up in geysers around where he stood. He felt the anxiety roll off of him with the heat and the sweat. He was ready now. He was ready to win. So the boy took the Poké Ball and threw it directly at the hanging platform ahead of him, starting his most important match yet.

Episode 9: Cinnaburn

“Go Ninetales!”

“Go Clawey!”

Ninetales was a beautiful Pokémon, Ryan thought, and it towered over his poor Golduck like VY Canis Majoris compared to a lonely hydrogen atom. He had only ever seen Ninetales on television before, and now seeing one in person, in all its glory, Ryan was colored very impressed.

“Confuse Ray!” Olivia commanded.

Ryan tipped his top hat Olivia’s way before beginning, because he was a gentleman and a scholar. “Clawey, use surf!”

Before Clawey could ride that wave, however, the Ninetales shot forward and fired a Confuse Ray. Ryan desperately wanted Clawey to avoid it, but alas, his Pokémon had not the speed, and the attack hit him straight in the chest. Clawey fell over. Ryan took out his Pokédex and pointed it at Clawey. His Golduck had stood up by this point and was now looking this way and that, visible question marks popping up around its beak. Ryan had never seen such a thing happen before. Heck, he hadn’t even believed it was possible for question marks to materialize out of nowhere until just then.

“Clawey is confused!” Dex droned.

“Oh no! Oh jeez!” Ryan was horrified. He saw his chances slipping. “Come on Clawey, surf all over that Ninetales! Don’t hurt yourself in your confusion! Please!”

“Duck, gol? Gol, duck?” Clawey quacked. He then brought up his surf around him and rode an impressive wave right into Ninetales. It was a direct hit. Ninetales stumbled back, shrieking in pain. Its fur soaked and its body bruised, the fire Pokémon then collapsed onto the ground, defeated.

“Whooooo!” Ryan whooped, punching the air.

Olivia returned Ninetales, then dismounted from her Rapidash. “All right, Rapidash, it’s time we teach this kid a lesson! Go get ‘em!”

Rapidash lept through the air impressively and landed right in front of the question mark-plagued Golduck.

“Rapidash, Take Down!”

“Body Slam it, Clawey!” Ryan yelled.

The Rapidash glided forward as if it was flying and tackled the small Golduck easily, even as it was slightly damaged by the recoil of the attack. Ryan winced as he watched his Golduck hit the floor hard. Bruises and scratches were clearly evident on its body now. Clawey winced and cried out, but it stood up to retaliate with a Body Slam. However, as he tried to, the Golduck accidentally punched himself in the face with a hard fist and fell over again.

“Clawey has hurt itself in its confusion!” Dex assured its master.

Ryan shook his head and slumped his shoulders. “That’s exactly what I didn’t want to happen!”

“All right, another Take Down, Rapidash! Don’t let up!”

“Oh brother…” Ryan breathed out as he watched the entire scenario play itself out again. The fire stallion charged his Golduck, hit it to the floor and hurt itself slightly in the recoil. Once again, Golduck was hurt lots. This next time, Ryan told the blue Pokéduck to use his surf attack. The Golduck obliged and hit the Rapidash with a swift water attack. A flicker of hope caught Ryan then, for he saw how critically the attack had hurt Olivia’s Pokémon. The Rapidash shuddered and stumbled back.

“Don’t give up, Rapidash!” Olivia said, trying to console her fire ‘mon.

Ryan didn’t even hear the attack she told him to perform, though, for he was already yelling to Golduck again. “Rock it out with surf again! Make it rain, Clawey!” Ryan screamed, shaking his maracas as if to appease the rain gods. “Make it raiiiiiiiiin!!”

The Golduck took that command to heart and ran at the Rapidash. It started galloping right at Clawey, closing in on another fearsome attack. However, as the Rapidash got up to him, Clawey jumped out of the way, and his opponent went flying by, preparing a deadly Fire Spin for but an open space. Clawey flipped over in midair (because he was an acrobat with many years of training in the Pokémon gymnastics league), created a water wave and rode it upside down right into Rapidash’s left side. The Rapidash didn’t even know what hit it before it collapsed to the ground, defeated.

Olivia looked visibly frustrated with that defeat. Ryan laughed aloud. She seemed even more annoyed by his gloating than her own failure to outsmart him so he tipped his hat to her again. She must not have seen the gentleman’s gesture when she spoke, “You’re not half-bad, but this is the end of the road! You won’t win this time! I’ll show you who’s boss! Go Flareon!”

“Flareon?” Ryan repeated, puzzled. “I thought Blaine’s other Pokémon was an Arcanine.”

“That was my father’s Pokémon. Flareon’s mine. And you’ll see, he’s a lot more deadly, too.”

“We’ll see alright,” Ryan swore. “Clawey, use your Body Slam attack!”

“Flareon, Body Slam him right back!”

The two Pokémon flew into the air like a couple of drunk Pidgeys trying to mate and soon they collided with a sickening thud. Ryan winced as he saw a bright white light encapsulate the two Pokémon; then, their two bodies fell from the air like sacks of potatoes and crashed into the ground. The great metal chains holding up the platform shook violently for a few moments, and a few splashes of lava jumped onto the side nearest Ryan. He saw that Golduck was lying crumpled on the ground, not moving. He quickly pointed his Pokédex to Clawey and shouted:

“Hey, Clawey, get up! Come on, you can do it! You can beat Flareon!”

“Clawey has fainted,” Dex droned softly.

Ryan grasped onto his blue hair and briefly contemplated pulling it all out. “Gahhh! Come on, Clawey, don’t do this to me! Not now! We’re so close!” He knew how close he was. A single surf would cause Flareon to faint. He just needed Clawey to do one more attack.

“Looks like your Pokémon’s finished,” Olivia laughed. “Let’s go, bring out the next one. I don’t have all day, kid.”

“I’m not a kid… I’m fourteen! I’m a man grown.” Ryan mumbled to himself. After a brief stare-off with Olivia, he sighed and called his Golduck back into a Poké Ball. He considered who to bring out next. Abra would get KO’d with one Body Slam, he knew. There was no way his Charmeleon would be any good, either. And Matata… she was a bug Pokémon - not even worth considering. He fingered Abra’s Poké Ball and prepared to throw it onto the platform ahead of him when suddenly a commotion started up behind him. Ryan spun around to see Nurse Joy chasing after a Pokémon which was coming right at him like a train without brakes.

Dragonair. Ryan stepped back, his heart aflutter in his throat. The Dragonair slid right up to him and and nuzzled up against his neck. He just stood there, arms out to either side, unsure of what to do. Heck, he didn’t even know if what he was seeing was real. Could he be dreaming? Had the heat and hunger finally gotten to him?

“I’m sorry… so sorry!” Nurse Joy panted as she finally reached Ryan. Ryan could have sworn that she was even more beautiful than the last Nurse Joy he had seen. She had just the right shade of pink in her hair. “That Dragonair escaped from the Pokémon Center. I’ve been trying to chase he down all afternoon!” When she saw how affectionate the Dragonair was acting to Ryan, she narrowed her eyes. “Hey, I know you! You’re the one who brought that Dragonair in!”

“Y-yeah, that’s me…” Ryan said, trailing off as he turned around to glance over at Olivia standing on the far side of the volcano. “Uh, I’m in the middle of a Pokébattle right now…”

“Oh, I’m dreadfully sorry!” Nurse Joy said politely. “This wasn’t your Pokémon, right?”

“No,” Ryan spoke honestly. “I just found it hurt in the woods, so I brought it to you.”

“Well, I guess we can keep her at the Pokémon Center until her master comes to claim her. Here, let me put the Dragonair back in this Poké Ball…”

“Neeee!!” The Dragonair shrieked. She pushed her body against Ryan’s, trembling tremendously.

“What’s that?” Nurse Joy cocked her head to one side. “She’s scared? She must not want to go in the ball.”

Ryan shook his head. Why did this have to happen now of all times? He knelt down next to the Dragonair, who was bobbing up and down, her entire body shaking in fright. She had moved behind Ryan as far away from the good nurse as physically possible. He pet her on the head to calm her down and spoke, “Hey, don’t worry, Dragonair! It’s just a Poké Ball. Besides, once your master finds out you’re here, they’ll come and get you!”

“Nee eehh ne!” Dragonair growled. Ryan tried to move her around him for Nurse Joy to take, but the Dragonair would not budge. Her eyes were as wide as something that is wide and she seemed to be pleading with Ryan. He faltered, seeing her like that.

“I… I think she wants to stay with me…” He thought back to how standoffish the Dragonair had been back when he had found her and saved her from the clutches of that insane bratty girl, Sophia. And now it was as loyal to him as any of his stalwart companions. Ryan looked up at Nurse Joy, bewildered by his realization.

She nodded, knowingly. “It seems that Dragonair knows you saved her. And now she only feels safe around you.”

“But what about her original master? Won’t they be mad? I can’t just steal their Pokémon!”

“Her original master must have abandoned her. You said she was all alone and wounded in the forest. No good Pokémon Trainer would ever leave one of their Pokémon like that. That must’ve been when Dragonair broke out of the Pokémon Center! She wanted to make sure that you didn’t forget her too.”

Ryan looked down at the Dragonair, his mouth agape. He couldn’t believe it. “So… I can take her?”

Nurse Joy did that thing that they do in the Pokémon anime where they just grunt and nod and Ryan knew what it meant because he lived in the Pokémon world.

Ryan turned back to the Dragonair and patted it on the head. “Hey Dragonair! So you wanna stay with me, huh?” Dragonair barked and bobbed its head enthusiastically. Ryan beamed. “Alright! Welcome to Team Ryan, the best team in the Pokéworld! Whoo!” He looked back to Nurse Joy and gave her a thumbs up. “Thanks for helping me with this, but I’ve got a gym battle to win!”

Nurse Joy said her farewells and wished Ryan luck, but Ryan knew he had already gotten lucky. He’d gotten a Dragonair.

“Hey, what’s going on over there?!” Olivia shouted from the other side of the volcano.

“I’m just choosing my next Pokémon.”

“Well hurry up!”

Ryan ignored her and took out his Pokédex, thrusting it into his new Pokémon’s face impatiently. “Hey Dexy, does Dragonair know any water-type moves?”

“This Dragonair knows Surf. And please do not call me Dexy,” his Pokédex replied.

Ryan’s face lit up. “Awesome! I’m gonna wreck house with this Dragonair! We’re gonna party like it’s 1998! Thanks Dexy!” Ryan pocketed his irritable machine and then pointed to the stage. “Go Dragonair! Let’s bring the heat! Beat that Flareon!” He shook his maracas menacingly at Olivia, but she was probably too far away to hear them.

“Flareon, Body Slam it!” Olivia shouted as soon as the dragon-type Pokémon entered the stage. The Flareon howled and rushed forward, but as it reached Ryan’s Pokémon, it suddenly dropped to the ground, not moving. Flashes of electricity flew over its head, Ryan swore. “Oh no, she’s paralyzed!” Olivia moaned, disappointed.

“Paralyzed?” Ryan repeated, briefly confused. Then he remembered his Golduck’s last attack. “Oh! Clawey’s Body Slam must’ve done it! Holla at my boy!” Ryan took out Golduck’s Poké Ball and jiggled it up and down to holler at his so called boy. “All right, let’s finish this! Dragonair, Surf your way to victory!”

The Dragonair nodded and conjured up a wave of water. And she surfed that wave so beautifully, it would have brought a tear to Ryan’s eye had he been a sad sappy sucker. Within a few moments, the entire hanging platform was sopping wet and the paralyzed Flareon had fainted. Olivia frowned and returned the Pokémon into its Poké Ball; then, she jumped forward onto the precariously hanging battle platform and gestured for Ryan to join her. The boy scrambled forward to meet her.

Olivia was smirking when he reached her. When he came up to her, Ryan really saw how cute she was. Her wavy blond hair was hanging around her shoulders and skin color was the perfect island tan. As he stepped forward, the good trainer caught the scent of her perfume and briefly was he enthralled by her presence. When she used her hand to motion him forward, he lunged as if he was in a stupor and attempted to kiss her. The Gym Leader, however stepped back.

“Whoa, I’m just giving you your Volcano Badge, dude. No need to take it further than that…” she laughed nervously.

“Oh, right, thanks!” Ryan said, his face going scarlet as he plucked the shiny badge from the girl’s outstretched hand.

Ryan knew Olivia was trying to alleviate the embarrassment hanging in the air when she next spoke. “You fought well today, kid.”

I’m not a kid. I’m basically a grownup, Ryan thought. Can’t you see that?!

“You kind of lucked out with paralyzing my Flareon, but I guess everyone gets lucky sometimes, huh?”

And if I didn’t have Dragonair…

“Keep training your Pokémon, and learn more about Pokémon strategy. Who knows, maybe I’ll hear about you winning the Indigo League some day! Just keep fighting confident and stay humble. That’s a big part of winning a battle. Don’t let your opponents outsmart you.”

“Thanks,” Ryan replied meekly, his shoulders thrust forward and his head down. “You’re a good trainer too.”

He wanted to tell her she was pretty. He wanted to let out all of his feelings; but, like the volcano bubbling underneath their feet, he didn’t allow any outburst. He held his tongue. Ryan had made a fool of himself once already today, and he was not keen on making a second. So the boy said his goodbyes to Olivia, turned around, and walked out of the Gym. He would return to Kelly and show her what he had won while she slept off a mighty orange juice hangover. He would gloat and boast, but deep down inside, Ryan would not forget Olivia. He only wished that once he won the Indigo League, like he knew he would, he could return to her and things would be different.

Episode 10: The Christmas Special!

When dear Kelly fought Olivia, the eye-pleasing lady girl, Ryan watched with a bag of popcorn and a heart full of confetti. He busted out his prized ukulele and sat on a fold-up chair to watch the battle. ‘Take the shot!’ he would scream to Kelly’s Wartortle (the esteemed Tortilla) as it did the battling. It was a water Pokémon so it was pretty good against Olivia’s fire ‘mon. Ryan gave his pointy sunglasses to Kelly’s Wartortle because Ryan watched season 1 of Pokémon and he knew that was what Wartortles needed to be winners.

Suffice to say, with the strength of her Wartortle, Arcanine, and Raichu, Kelly was able to scrape by Olivia’s team with the skin of her teeth. When she won, Ryan stood up and clapped as loudly as he could with a tear in his eye. He was so proud of that girl. Funnily enough, she didn’t even realize he was there until she turned to walk out.

“Oh hey,” Kelly said. “Came to watch the battle?”

“You did great! Yeah, girl, whoo!!” Ryan strummed on his ukulele. “I guess we can go to the next gym now, right?”

Kelly nodded. “Yeah. My last badge is in Viridian City. It’s the toughest gym out there. I’ll need to train my Pokémon some more before attempting it.”

“Huh?!?!? One more badge?!” Ryan cocked his head in surprise, then threw Abra’s Poké Ball to the floor. The little Pokémon tumbled out, half-asleep, bless his heart. “Hey Abra, did you know about this one more badge thing?!”

“Bra bra bra abra!” Abra yawned.

“Dang, I can’t understand you at all.” Ryan returned his Pokémon to the Poké Ball. “This isn’t fair,” he whined to Kelly. “I still have five badges to get! You can’t finish before me! That’s not fair.”

“Why not?”

“Be-because…” Ryan searched for the words, but could not say them. He wanted Kelly to come with him on his entire journey. He knew that once she got all eight gym badges, she’d leave him in the dust. She would go off to prepare for the tournament. He didn’t want that. He wanted her company. He needed it. Ryan’s face went red with embarrassment. “It’s… it’s nothing, okay!”

Kelly smiled, deviously. “Sure, okay. Whatever you say. So we’ll take a boat to Pallet Town and then travel to Viridian City from there, okay?”

“Pallet Town?!” Ryan’s face suddenly lit up. “You mean where Professor Oak lives?”

“Yeah, why?”

Ryan punched the sky. “He can change Charmeleon’s name to something better!”

“Are you sure about that?” Kelly asked. Her face betrayed her doubt.

“No, not really. But let’s try it, okay?”

Kelly shrugged and then the two of them walked out of there, each with a new badge and a new goal.


Rahul was sunbathing on the beach when they found him. It had snowed the night before, and much of the beach was icy and slushy, but Rahul didn’t seem to mind. He was enjoying kabobs dripping with barbecue sauce that made Ryan as jealous as as a meerkat that wanted to merely be a cat. Around him, three bikini-clad girls were fanning Rahul and keeping him cool on that frosty day. By the time Ryan and Kelly reached Rahul, he had finished his meal and was licking his fingers ravenously.

“Aw no fair, Rahul!” Ryan shouted. He almost brought out the maracas again. “You were supposed to save me some.”

“Sorry,” Rahul smiled unapologetically. “You took too long.”

“Ugh! Well, do you want to come with us? Kelly and I are leaving the island to get more badges.”

“Come on, this place is awesome!” Rahul squealed like a pig in heat. “Do we have to leave?”

“Rahul…” Ryan said in a motherly tone. “You know you have to earn more badges to get into the Indigo Tournament. How many do you have so far?”

Rahul sighed. “Three.”

“Cool, me too! Let’s get some more, okay? All right, buddy?” Ryan patted the big man on the shoulder and was struck by how he had to treat Rahul like a Pokémon to make Rahul do anything.

Rahul looked at Ryan. “I want go south to catch Lugia first."

The blue-haired boy shook his head. "No, no, no! It’s too early in the story for legendaries, brah. Besides, I don’t know if you’re an important enough character to get one anyway."

Rahul sighed again and raised a hand. “Okay, okay. Fine.” He sat up and and looked at the girls fanning him. “Before I go, do any of you want to be my girlfriend?”

The three beauties looked at one another and then, in unison, ran for the sandy-and-snowy hills faster than Sonic on Adderall.


The boat was sparsely populated, as most people were coming to the Cinnabar Island to battle Olivia, and those who had already beaten her had already left and returned home for Christmas. Only Ryan, Kelly, Rahul, and a small boy who called himself Dean accompanied the ship’s captain on the trip back to the mainland. Dean said almost nothing to the other three, instead focusing on his phone and talking to someone over Skype in a hushed voice. They didn’t bother him. Ryan let all of his Pokémon stretch their legs on the deck, as did Kelly and Doctor Rahul. Ryan was shocked to see how many cool Pokémon Rahul had - a Dragonair, a Charizard, a Lapras, a Hypno, a Rhyhorn, and a Magneton. Ryan stroked his non-existent goatee and hoped that one day he could be as cool as Rahul.

“I’m on a boat! Everybody look at me!” Ryan said in jubilation because he thought that awesome people like Rahul would say something like that.

All of the Pokémon partied like it was 1998, playing pin the tail on the Tauros and sipping on fine bubbly juice. Ryan conversed with the others about what they expected to get from Poké Santa for Christmas. However, as Ryan glanced over at his Pokémon, he noticed that his Golduck was getting seasick. Clawey’s eyes got swirly like pastries and made Ryan hungry for said pastries. He was in awe of how a water Pokémon could get seasick in the first place. So Ryan brought Golduck over to him and comforted his poor Pokémon by telling him the story of the ugly barnacle.

As everyone was enjoying themselves, a second ship suddenly appeared on the horizon. It shot toward them with all its speed, and the captain could not avoid it. With a sudden “crash!” the two ships collided and water started flooding the deck.

“Avast ye mateys!” a voice from the other ship bellowed. Suddenly a dark shape sprung from other ship and jumped onto the deck of the sinking one. He was a pirate, attired in a proper pirate garb, and he had a flowing pink beard growing from his nose hairs. Both of his legs were peglegs and both of his hands were hooks. It made Ryan curious as to how Pinkbeard could even function in life. “The name’s Pinkbeard, yarrrgh! Pinkbeard the first!”

“Cool name bro,” Ryan said.

“Aye, it is, it is!” The pirate agreed. “Now give me all yer Pokémon yarrgh!”

“What?!” everyone shouted together. “Never!”

“Har har har, ya poor fools. No one gets away from Pinkbeard the first!” Pinkbeard raised his left hook, removed the hook with his other hand, and then began shooting nets out from the hole. They wrapped around each of the trio’s Pokémon and bound them tightly. “Made from special string! No Pokémon can escape from inside, yarrgh!” Pinkbeard proclaimed proudly.

“Oh no!” Kelly shouted. “What can we do?”

Rahul raised his screwdriver to the sky. “I’m the doctor. I can fix this!”

“Rahul, did you drink too much orange juice?! You can’t do anything with a plastic screwdriver!”

Ryan went to pat Rahul on the arm when Rahul jumped forward and charged Pinkbeard. “No! Don’t touch me, I’m sterile!”

Pinkbeard tripped Rahul with a well-placed pegleg, sending the human Snorlax flying into the side of the ship. He got the pastry eyes like Golduck had had a few minutes before and then fell over, unconscious.

“No more tricks, me mateys! Stand back and ya won’t get hurt!” The pirate scalawag moved forward to collect the Pokémon.

“Hey bozo, what do you think you’re doing?!” The small boy Dean said. He stood up and walked forward, unhooking a Poké Ball from his waist.

“Ahar har har! I didn’t see ya, boy! Good, more Pokémon for me!” Pinkbeard aimed his hook at Dean.

Dean threw his Poké Ball and out flopped a Magikarp. Ryan facepalmed. “That is literally the worst Pokémon you could have chosen to help us!” Ryan screamed in dismay.

Dean narrowed his eyes and smiled. “Just watch.” He pointed to Pinkbeard and then pressed a button on a bracelet on his left wrist. A bright light coated the Magikarp for a moment, and when it dissolved, it was not Magikarp who stood there any longer. “Use Mega Splash attack!” Dean roared.

Ryan took out his Pokédex and pointed it at the new Pokémon. It looked vaguely like a Magikarp, though it had wings and antennae and lightning coated its body like it was a Super Saiyan 2. Its body was muscled, longer, bigger, but it was not a Gyarados. It was a beast.

“Mega Magikarp,” Dex stated in monotone. “The Mega evolution of Magikarp. It is the most beautiful thing I have ever seen. I cry every time.”

“Huh? Mega? What’s a Mega?” Ryan pondered.

“It’s canon now,” Dean assured him.

Mega Magikarp glided through the air like an angel, gracefully maneuvering around the nets Pinkbeard was shooting at it. When it reached the old salty man, it opened its fishy mouth and sprayed Pinkbeard with a bunch of water. This got Pinkbeard pretty wet and pretty annoyed.

“So that’s how we’re gonna play, is it?! Okay, Tentacruel, Primeape, go!” He threw two Poké Balls. A Tentacruel and a Primeape came flying out of them.

They charged the Mega Magikarp, who flew past them like a dust cloud in a breeze. The Primeape spun around and flew at the Mega Magikarp with a flying kick, and the Tentacruel tried a water gun, but both were hopelessly hopeless attacks. The Primeape hit the Magikarp and banged his foot up real good, falling to the ground and screaming out in pain. The Tentacruel’s attack just bounced off the Magikarp’s hard shell.

“Tackle them!” Dean commanded. “Take them out!”

Mega Magikarp flopped forward and hit Pinkbeard across the face. This was quite the fish sneak attack and the pirate was unprepared for it. The tackle hit him square in the jaw, upending him, and sending him flying off into the distance. Everyone watched him go until he was nothing more than a twinkle in the sky. It was a beautiful sight.

“Yarrgh! Pinkbeard be blastin’ off again!” the pirate croaked as he flew away.

Mega Magikarp followed this up by tackling both of the pirate’s Pokémon. They went flying up the air after their master, soon disappearing from sight as they faded into the dark sky.

“See you later, bozo,” Dean screamed after Pinkbeard the First, who surely could not hear the boy. “You’ll never take me alive, coppers!”

Then, Dean commanded his Mega Magikarp to free the other Pokémon. Once they were free, the water Pokémon (Wartortle, Golduck, Mega Magikarp, Lapras, and the two Dragonairs) jumped in the water and used all of their strength to push their sinking boat to shore. Everyone worked together except for the Pokémon who didn’t, and eventually they towed the ship to shore. Great job, everyone!


It was evening by the time they reached the shore and it was just starting to snow again. Dean agreed to join the three in Pallet Town for the night, for it was too late for him to make his way home on his own. As they walked the beaches toward the city lights they could see in the distance, Ryan stumbled over something and fell to the sand. Rahul cackle and patted his belly seeing Ryan fall. Seeing Ryan fall gave him almost as much pleasure as a chicken wing would.

“What was that?” Ryan said, annoyed. He looked over to the thing he had tripped on and saw that it looked like a rock. But it was no rock, for the thing opened and Ryan could see something dark and slimy inside it. “Hey everyone! I found a rock with a snot in it! Whoa!”

“That’s not a rock, dummy,” Dean said, walking over to Ryan. “It’s a Cloyster.”

“How do you know? You’re not a Pokédex,” Ryan contended.

Dean shrugged. “I have a Shellder… I know what its evolution looks like.”

Ryan took out his Pokédex just to be sure. “Hey there, you Dexy thing you. What Pokémon is this?”

“Please do not call me a Dexy thing. It makes me feel weird,” Dex said in monotone. “Ahem… Cloyster, the Bivalve Pokémon. For protection, it uses its harder-than-diamonds shell. It also shoots spikes from the shell.”

Ryan’s eyes lit up. “Cool! I wanna catch it!” He took a Poké Ball out of his bag and threw it to the ground. “Abra, I choose you!”

“Ra bra!”

“Reflect, Abra!”

Abra conjured up some sparkly energy around him and raised his defense against all possible physical attacks. The Cloyster noticed the bright light, realized it was under attack, and threw itself at Abra. Its rocky jaws shut around Abra’s frail body and clamped down hard.

“Abra, psychic yeah!”

But the Cloyster was still clamping down on Abra. The poor psychic Pokémon was suffering quite a bit. “Bra…. Abra…!” it moaned in pain as the Cloyster toyed with it.

“Hold on Abra!” Ryan said, taking another Poké Ball out of his bag.

“Come on, Ryan, can’t you battle fair for once?!” Kelly complained. “Just once?”

“But Abra’s stuck!”

“If you’re a good enough trainer, you’ll think a way out of it.”

Ryan pocketed the ball begrudgingly. “Fine. If you say so. Abra, use psychic as soon as you get free, okay buddy?”

“Bra.”

Cloyster’s clamp lasted for two more turns (this is real life). Then, it released Abra. As soon as it did, the smaller Pokémon rolled back and created energy in his hands. The Cloyster charged Abra, but Abra held his ground and fired his psychic attack directly into the black slime in the middle of the Pokémon’s shell. An explosion sent Cloyster falling back into the sand, where it lay, unmoving, dazed and wounded. Ryan took out an empty ball, then aimed it at Cloyster.

“Gotta catch ‘em all!” Ryan bellowed before he threw the ball.

The red-and-white ball hit Cloyster on the side of its shell, then fell to the sand and cracked open. Pink light covered the wild Pokémon and then sucked it inside. For a few seconds, the ball wiggled on that quiet shore; Cloyster fought desperately for its freedom. But it was too weak and too damaged by Abra’s attack, and soon the ball stopped moving. Ryan had caught himself a new ‘mon. Whoop whoop!


By night, they reached Pallet Town. It was a small place with only a few houses and no Pokémon Center, so Ryan had to use potions to heal Abra and his new Cloyster. They saw Christmas lights shining from all the houses. Snow was falling softly. As they walked further, the four kids saw a tall, unadorned, silver pole erected in the center of the town. Snow had fallen around it, but still it stood noble and proud. Next to it, a man in a heavy Gore-Tex jacket sat on a chair, ringing a bell.

“A Festivus for the rest of us! It’s a Festivus for the rest of us!” he sang, pleasantly.

Kelly moved up to him, trudging through the snow. “Excuse me sir, is this Pallet Town?”

The man’s face glowed in the reflection of Christmas lights and smiled. “Why of course it is, miss!”

“Is there any place to stay, like a hotel or something?” she inquired.

“Sorry. Pallet’s a small town, even this time of year. We don’t have a hotel.”

Kelly breathed out, hard. “Are you serious? Then where are we supposed to stay for the night?”

“You can stay with me,” the man said, pocketing his bell and standing up. “My mother’s house is just over there,” he pointed. “I’m visiting her for the holidays. I’m sure she’d be happy to have all of you join us.”

“Thank you,” Kelly said. She turned to face the others. “What do you say, guys?”

“Anything to get out of this cold!” Ryan replied.

“Sure,” Dean nodded.

“I’m the Doctor and I know it!” Rahul assured everyone.

“It’s a Festivus miracle! Follow me,” the man said, enthusiastically. He began walking toward a house in the distance with vibrant Christmas lights and a homely glow coming from the windows inside. Then, he stopped, raised a hand and half-waved at the four people following him. “I’m Ash, by the way. Ash Ketchum. Nice to meet you all.”

Episode 11: Oakheart

The man named Ash led Ryan and the gang to a quaint little house decorated in Christmas lights and snow. A frenzied Mr. Mime opened the door for them and ushered them inside, wiping the snow from their shoes with a broom and thrusting a hand vacuum into their faces menacingly, as if to try to clean their very skin (they were all very, very dirty). Ash ignored the Pokémon and brought everyone into the kitchen, where an older woman was sitting, drinking coffee.

“Uh, hey mom,” Ash began, “I found these trainers out in the snow. They were looking for somewhere to stay, and it looked like everywhere else was closed, so I thought I’d bring them back here…” he shrugged. “We have room don’t we?”

His mother stood up, her face flushing with a smile as she greeted each of Ryan’s gang. “I’m sure we’ll find some room for them. I hope one of you isn’t opposed to sleeping on the couch…”

“Thank you, Mrs. Ketchum,” Kelly said earnestly, bowing in respect. “We’re extremely grateful for you taking us in.”

“It’s no trouble,” the woman replied. “Though it might make Mimey a little anxious. Just don’t make a mess, or he’ll go crazy!”

They all swore on the old gods and the new that they would not incur the wrath of Mimey, and Mrs. Ketchum showed them where they would be staying. Ryan asked Ash to use their home phone, and Ash pointed him to a corner of the kitchen. The teal-haired trainer immediately called his mother, thinking it was not too late - she was probably still up drinking eggnog or playing Poképoker with his dad or doing something else he didn’t want to think about or even think about thinking about.

“Hello?” came her voice from the fuzzy phone speaker. “Who is this?”

“H-hey mom, it’s me, Ryan. Merry Pokémas!” the boy spoke. “How’re things at home?”

“Oh Ryan, it’s nice to hear your voice,” his mother replied. “I thought you had forgotten about us. I hadn’t heard from you in a long time.”

Ryan’s voice was puzzled, “Didn’t you get my last message, mom?”

“That was weeks ago, Ryan. I’ve been worried that you haven’t called since, and I think your father is worried too, but he would never say so.”

Ryan scratched the back of his head, feeling his face go red. “Yeah, sorry I forgot. I guess after all this time trying to collect gym badges and catch Pokémon, it sort of slipped my mind.”

“So how is your journey going, Ryan? Have you met lots of nice people and caught many Pokémon?”

“Yeah… I’ve made some friends. I have a full team of six Pokémon now and three badges! We’re on our way to get the rest of them before the Indigo League Tournament begins. We still have a few months left before it does.”

“I’m proud of you, Ryan,” his mother said, her voice wistful and perhaps sad. “Your father thought you would be home for the holidays though. He hasn’t seen you since before you left on your journey.”

“Oh…” Ryan felt guilt hit him like a blizzard. “I’ll come home as soon as I can, but I don’t know how soon that will be…”

“It’s okay,” said his mother. “You need to finish collecting those gym badges first. I’m sure he understands.”

“Mom, did you tell him about Abra?” Ryan asked. “I… I tried to take one of the Pokémon he doesn’t use very much. Was he okay with that?”

There was a long pause. The wind was blowing outside the Ketchums’ kitchen door, howling like a feral Arcanine. “He knows why you took Abra. Though when you return, I think he’ll want to see his old Pokémon again.”

“Of course.”

“Okay Ryan, well I have to go now. Your father and I have the whole evening planned out.”

They said their goodbyes and Ryan hung up. He heard the others getting ready for bed in the rooms above him on the second floor. Rahul was yelling about something and Ryan could hear Kelly trying to calm the big brute down. Classic Kelly. Ryan took Abra’s Poké Ball out of his bag and held it in his hand, feeling it over with his palm and eyes. Was his father really that angry about him taking Abra? Ryan hadn’t thought it would be an issue, else he wouldn’t have taken Abra at all. Still, he and the small Pokémon had bonded on their escapades thus far, and he was glad he had chosen Abra, even if that meant he was going to get a lecture from dad when he returned home.

“Heh, looks like you got the couch,” Ash Ketchum said, causing Ryan to spin around. The man had a sleeping bag in his hands and he led Ryan into the next room where he could sleep. “So you’re trainers, huh? Just passing through?”

“Yeah… well, not exactly.” Ryan pocketed Abra’s Poké Ball. “I also wanted to see Professor Oak. I need to change my Pokémon’s name…”

Ash laughed. “I can show you where he lives in the morning. It’s hard to miss. Professor Oak’s lab is the main reason anyone comes to this little town anymore. It’s nice to have company.”

“Do you live here?”

“No, I’ve been staying in Cerulean City with my girlfriend,” said Ash. “But I came home for Pokémas, so my mom wouldn’t be lonely. She has a hard enough time living alone with Mimey these days.”

There was a moment of pause, where Ryan laid out his sleeping bag on the couch.

“Hey Ash, were you a trainer too? I mean, when you were younger?” Ryan asked, once he had finished making his bed. He thought Ash looked to be in his early twenties - maybe 20 or 21. He was definitely not ten years older than Ryan; that much was certain.

“Yeah, for a while. I collected all the Kanto badges when I was ten and finished in the top 16 in the Indigo League.”

“Wow,” Ryan said. “My father never did that well, and he tried a few times.”

Ash shrugged. “It’s not a big deal, really. There are plenty of great trainers and Pokémon masters who never win a tournament.”

“Pikapi!” a squeaky voice muttered from behind Ash. Then, a little Pikachu came bounding out from the other side of the couch with a pillow in its hand. The Pokémon handed it to Ryan, a dubious, reserved look on its yellow face. “Pikachu!”

“Uh, thanks!” Ryan replied, taking the pillow. “Is that guy yours?”

Ash smirked. “Yeah. Me and Pikachu go way back. He was actually my first Pokémon, heh.”

“Your first?” Ryan asked, his voice rising. “You mean you didn’t have a regular starter either?”

“Nope,” Ash said, scratching his Pikachu behind the ear. “But I’m glad I got Pikachu. I wouldn’t have it any other way.”

They ate dinner together as the winter snows fell outside, a fire burning in the Ketchum’s fireplace keeping them snug and content. Kelly got into an argument with Dean over who the last Indigo Tournament champion was, and Rahul told a story about the time he dated three girls at once - a tale not even his prized goatee believed. Ryan didn’t say much - he ate his food quietly, observing the others while he clutched Abra’s Poké Ball under the table. He could not stop thinking about what his mother had said. Did he need to return Abra? Was that what his father wanted? Was Abra his? Abra had been the first Pokémon to join him on his journey, and the way Ryan felt about Abra was like how Ash felt about his Pikachu. Ryan didn’t want to have to return Abra to his father. But he didn’t know if it was an option to refuse.

Everyone went to bed not long after, and Ryan tossed and turned on the couch for what seemed like hours. Finally, in the dead of night, he thrust himself from the blankets, put on his warmest clothes, and left the house. He didn’t know where he was going - Ryan just needed to walk to clear his head. The snow was no longer falling heavily, but it was high and hard to trudge through. After getting his shoe caught in the snow and falling nearly a foot into it, the boy took out a Poké Ball and threw it. Out from it came the Pokémon that had brought Ryan to this town: his Charmeleon.

“Okay Get Over Here,” he said, remembering the Pokémon’s true name. “I think that’s the last time I’ll have to call you that. Tomorrow Professor Oak is changing your name. I guarantee it.” Ryan winked and gave the Pokémon a thumbs up. The Charmeleon had no idea what the heck his master was talking about so he barked. “Use your ember attack, boy! Melt all the snow in our way!”

Get Over Here shouted, “Meleon meleon charmeleon!” and then it roared out flames in all directions, melting entire dunes of snow and even setting a nearby tree on fire.

“Ugh, you’re so careless!” Ryan whined before throwing Golduck’s Poké Ball. “Quick Clawey, put out that tree!”

“Duck duck duck.”

Ryan eyed his two Pokémon, one melting all the snow, the other saving all the trees from the horrors of overzealous Pokéfire. They were an odd couple indeed. “Hey, what the heck… why don’t we bring out the whole team?” Ryan threw the remaining four Poké Balls all at once. He was very talented.

“Brah…. abra!” Abra yawned as he rolled out of his Poké Ball into a pool of cold snow water. “Abraaaaa!”

“Quiet Abra, you’ll wake the neighbors!”

“Ra.”

“Ieeeieieie!” Matata cooed.

“Neieieahalalaahal!” Thurnax responded.

Clostyer needed to get on the action too, since he was new and everyone was wondering what he’s like, “Cloyster… c-c-c-cloyster!!”

Ryan sighed and shook his head. “Yeah, you guys know I don’t understand a word you’re saying, right?”

“Cloyster,” said Cloyster.

The teal-haired boy wagged his finger. “Now now Cloyster, I’ll put you back in your Poké Ball if you talk with a sass mouth.”

That horrified the Cloyster and he didn’t say another word for the rest of the episode.

And so they went, marching through the melted snow, aimless and freezing. Ryan hoped that a walk would make him feel like sleeping, but the more he went on, the less he felt like returning to Ash’s house. The blizzards had cleared up, and the sky was visible - the night’s stars were twinkling like shining city lights. Ryan swore he could see a pink dot up there, something not like the rest, but whenever he honed in on it, it seemed to vanish. In that sky was something watching, he thought, but what it could be, Ryan had no clue.

Pallet Town was a small place with very few buildings. After circling the entire town several times over, Ryan decided their best course of action was to go into Pallet’s diner, as it was the only store open at this hour of the night. As they approached, Ryan and his Pokémon gang in tow, the boy thought he saw something dark moving on the edge of sight, thought he heard wings flapping. He stopped and looked around. There was nothing but darkness and the weak artificial light emanating from the nearest lightpost. He crossed an empty street towards the diner when he heard the buzzing of wings yet again. This time, he was sure it wasn’t Matata, as the sound her wings made was softer. Whatever was making that sound was bigger than Matata - much bigger. Ryan gulped.

“Get Over Here,” he whispered, hoping whoever was out there wouldn’t take that as their cue. “Shoot an ember in that direction,” Ryan pointed down the street into the darkness. The Charmeleon obeyed, spitting fire and illuminating the desolate road for a fraction of a second. In that moment, Ryan heard the wings buzz again, and he caught a glimpse of something green shooting off behind a far building.

“It’s a Pokémon,” Ryan declared to a bunch of Pokémon. “Probably wild. Any of you want to go catch it? I’ll buy you something tasty at the Poké Mart if you do!” The boy waved some Poké Dollars in their little Pokéfaces, but none of his buddies even flinched.

“M-m-meleon!” Get Over Here shivered, dancing in place, his wee little arms thrust up as if he was reaching for the moon. “Ch-ch-char… ch-charmeleon!”

“Fine, we’ll warm up in the diner first. But once you guys are nice and toasty, I want us to go catch that Pokémon, kay?”

“Eieieieieieie,” Matata agreed.

The place was mostly empty; a brown-haired boy in a white shirt was sitting in a far booth, and a waitress was sipping some coffee from behind a perched chair facing the other direction, but there was no one else.

“Uh, excuse me, is this place Pokémon friendly?” Ryan asked to the waitress who had her back to him.

She stood up and faced him, revealing herself to be none other than Mrs. Ketchum herself. “Oh,” she began, curiosity painted across her aged face. “Ryan, isn’t it? Weren’t you staying at my house?”

“Uh, yeah…”

“What are you doing here? I thought you were asleep. Plus, we ate dinner only a few hours ago. Don’t tell me my cooking’s that bad!”

The boy felt his face going red again, and he swallowed hard in an effort to prevent that. “Oh, no, you’re cooking’s great Mrs. Ketchum,” he said in an obligatory tone. “I… I, well I just couldn’t sleep is all. My Pokémon got cold, and this is the only open place…”

The woman had a shrewd look on her face, but she smiled all the same. “I’ll find you a table.”

Ryan’s Pokémon ordered enough food for a mob of Gremlins after midnight, and Ryan knew his wallet would be hurting come morning (rip in piece). They feasted on human food as if they had never eaten it before, the poor fellows. All the while, Ryan sat there feeling the brown-haired boy on the far side of the diner watching him. Ryan glanced at him a few times, and found him to have a familiar face - one which he had seen before but could not place. He almost wanted to get up and ask the other boy, but Ryan knew that was silly. Sane people don’t go up to one another and talk.

“Abra,” Ryan said, breaking the silence. Food and plates were being thrust around the table as if they were in a hurricane, so voracious were his little warriors as they traded dishes, tasting everything. “Yo Abra!”

“Ra!?” The Pokémon had a bowl of cheerios and milk mixed with hot and sour soup pressed to his mouth. “Rara abra!”

Ryan leaned in closer, as the little Pokémon was sitting across from him on a booster seat fit for an almost-newborn child. “Hey, when you were still with my dad, did he use you in a lot of battles? Were you one of his favorites? Is that why you have all those TMs and never evolved?”

“Bra. Abra!” The Pokémon took a swig of his cereal soup. “Abra abra abra, ra bra ah bra abra!”

“Yeah this isn’t working at all,” Ryan grumbled. “No matter how hard I try, I’ll never understand your gibberish! You make less sense than one of those casino games with all the pennies.”

“Abra!”

Before Ryan could respond, another voice cut into the conversation like a knife through salmonella. “Nice Pokémon.”

Ryan saw the brown-haired boy standing at the end of his table, a cool smirk on his face, his green eyes flickering like wildfire. He wore a white shirt and black pants fit for early summer, not the deepest part of winter. It made Ryan wonder how he didn’t get cold. “Thanks!” Ryan replied proudly. “I caught them all myself.”

“I’m sure you did. You’re a very good trainer.”

“Uh, thanks…” Ryan said. He detected a hint of sass mouth coming from the other boy. Just a hint.

“Welcome.”

Ryan ground his teeth. This was the perfect moment to be insane, and he wasn’t fully convinced it was a good idea. But he took a deep breath and didn’t think about the words that came next. “Hey, do I know you from somewhere?”

“I don’t think so,” said the other boy. “You weren’t at that Poké Debate on the proliferation of Tauros, were you?”

“No…”

“Haha mayne, you should have seen it. Some idiots were arguing that we need more Tauros in the world.”

“Well don’t we?”

“Nah dude, they’re too godly. I’d rather have a mongoose Pokémon anyway. Why can’t we just have a mongoose Pokémon? I don’t want to live in this world without one.” The boy took out a brown paper bag and began to drink from a concealed bottle inside it. He hiccupped.

With that, the boy walked off. He didn’t even say goodbye because he’s super rude and super fly. Mrs. Ketchum got up upon seeing the boy walk towards the door and waved. “Bye Charlie! Say hello to your father for me!”

Without turning around, Charlie raised his fist into the air, acknowledging the woman, bowed his head, and walked out the door. From the window, Ryan watched him throw a Poké Ball onto the ground, and suddenly a Porygon materialized on the sidewalk.

“Aight Dragonmaster,” Charlie said, reaching into his backpack and pulling out a bucket, which he then firmly planted over his head. “Let’s wreck some dudes.” He took another swig from his brown paper bag.

With that, Charlie’s Porygon raced off into the night.

“Hey wait a minute!” Ryan said, standing up. It dawned on him all at once, causing him to feel lightheaded. “Wait, that was the kid on the poster in the Cinnabar Island Poké Mart!”

“Duck golduck!”

“Yeah, I know!” Ryan lied. Ryan didn’t have time to wonder what Clawey had said. “It was a two million woolong prize! I don’t even know what a woolong is! But it sounds fancy as heck! We gotta catch that guy and find an Officer Jenny fast!”

“Neeee,” Thurnax screamed.

“Charmeleon.”

Ryan nodded. His Pokémon were definitely in it to win it. He ran out of the diner, his Pokémon hot on his heels. Throwing his wallet to Mrs. Ketchum and crying “Take it all!” Ryan flew out the door. His Pokémon, as it turned out, were not close behind. All of them lumbered out of the establishment slowly, holding their swollen bellies and groaning softly. They had eaten too much, Ryan realized. There was no hope, none whatsoever, of catching Charlie the wily bandit. Dismayed, Ryan fell to his knees and shot air pistols at the sky. He was no cowboy, though.

It was then that Ryan heard the buzzing of wings yet again, and this time he saw the Pokémon. It was large, green, had swords for hands. Ryan knew its name without even needing Dex’s help.

“Scyther,” he breathed, his heart pounding in his ears. “No way. Ever since I was little I wanted one of those!”

He stood up, wide-eyed, in awe, and slowly approached the Pokémon. It was standing motionless in the middle of the street, sharpening its swords on one another. When it saw Ryan, it hissed.

“Easy boy,” he said, carefully grabbing an empty Poké Ball from his bag. “No one’s gonna hurt you.”

Then, as the wind began to howl, Ryan took his chance and threw his Poké Ball at the green creature. It casually knocked the ball away with one of his arms and took off into the night.

“Come on everyone, let’s go!” Ryan yelled; he rushed forward, scooping up his Poké Ball, and pursued the Scyther into the darkness.

Of course, Ryan’s six Pokémon, bless their little gluttonous hearts, had overeaten to the extreme. They could barely waddle, let alone run, and they soon lost their master in the darkness. Ryan followed the Scyther to the edge of Pallet Town, to the place where the town converged with Route 1. The forest was beyond that point, as were patches of tall grass, a dangerous place for anyone to venture through in the dead of night, especially a trainer who had no Pokémon with him. Ryan stopped at the edge, breathing hard, his hands on his knees.

He waited there for many hours as his Pokémon moved at a snail’s pace until they reached him at the edge of town just as the sun began to rise in the distance. Upon seeing his crew, Ryan shook his head and facepalmed. “It’s too late,” he said hoarsely. “The Scyther got away.”

“Scytheeeer!!” a voice boomed through the forest from. Ryan screamed and ran back a few paces, for that was far too spooky for him.

And then, as if from the heavens, the green hunter descended from the tree, majestic as Rahul on prom night. “Scyther!!!!”

It began to move about in front of Ryan and the gang as if it were having a seizure or dancing to Katy Perry. Either way, the Scyther seemed to be in fits, thrusting its body back and forth, shaking its sword arms in the air like it was trying to exorcise demons from its body.

“Oh my god, it’s horrible!” Ryan shrieked. “The worst thing I ever saw in the whole wild world. Dex save us!”

He pointed his Pokédex at the madman Scyther. “Scyther is performing Swords Dance,” the device stated. “Its attack will be raised two stages.”

“What’s two stages?” Ryan grabbed his hair and fell to the ground, his eyes bloodshot and wide open. “What’s going on? Is this real life?!”

“Scyther scythe!”

“Charmeleon… someone… attack him!” Ryan despaired.

Scyther rushed forward and knocked over Charmeleon before the fire ‘mon could conjure up another ember attack. He sliced and diced his way through the other five until they all fell over, stunned or fainted. Ryan rolled over and beheld his defeated team. “No way!”

“Scyther,” Scyther retorted proudly.

“I’ll get you for this!” Ryan shouted, readying his Poké Ball again as he stood up. He did a little ballerina twirl and then flung the thing at the Scyther.

But the Pokémon was too fast - it dodged out of the way, hopping into the nearest tree and disappearing into the forest. As the sun rose into the sky of the new day, Ryan’s Poké Ball sailed into the forest, above the wet dew hanging on endless blades of tall grass. Just then, a small purple Pokémon raised its head from the grass and the Poké Ball smacked it right in the forehead. Stunned, the Pokémon fell over and was quickly sucked into the ball. In the next second, the Poké Ball rose into the air and then disappeared into nothingness.

“What just happened?!” Ryan said, dumbfounded. “I don’t even know which Pokémon I caught! Dexy, explain yourself.”

“As you wish, wise master,” Dex said. “Since you already have six Pokémon with you, any further Pokémon you capture will be sent to the Pokémon Center in the hometown linked to this Pokédex for storage.”

“Hmm…” Ryan scratched his chin. “This was my father’s Pokédex, so they must be going into his old storage container in Acapulco… But Dex, is there any way for me to see which Pokémon I just caught? I can’t travel all the way to Acapulco right now…”

“Avast ye landlubber!” came the unmistakable voice of Pinkbeard the first. “Didya think ya defeated me last time, argh?”

The man with two peg legs, two hooks for hands, and pink nose hairs that formed a ragged beard stepped out from behind a bush. A boy in a black suit with the letter “R” emblazoned on the shirt followed him. Pinkbeard patted the boy on the head with a hook which really just got tangled in his hair and caused the boy to scream out in pain and thrash about like a stuck pig.

“Yargh! This here be my son Gillford Matilda Gooseman! He be here to help me get revenge on ya!” the pirate pointed a hook gravely at Ryan. “Yargh!”

“Shut up, dad! I told you my name is The Supreme Extreme and I’m the newest member of Team Rocket! I’m not here to help you get revenge! I’m here to help Team Rocket take over the world!” He jumped forward and struck a pose that would have brought a tear to Captain Ginyu’s eye. “You!” he pointed at Ryan. “Tell me where Professor Oak’s lab is! I heard he’s got a whole bunch of godly Pokémon in there.”

“I dunno what you’re talking about,” Ryan replied. “Honestly, you sound like you’ve had too much o-”

Gillford jumped forward with a flying kick and a high-pitched squeal, hitting Ryan right in his pretty little nose. The blue-haired trainer was taken aback by the attack and fell backwards in confusion. He tasted blood and felt pain wash over his face. As he lay there in the dirt, Ryan saw Gillford and Pinkbeard pull out a pair of net guns and move forward. Ryan watched them trap his Pokémon in the nets, and though he screamed for them to stop, the deadly duo paid him no heed. Then, once all six were safely locked away in netting, Gillford walked back over to Ryan, net gun in hand, and grinned.

“I’m the Supreme Extreme! I’m a god! I have all the power! Hear me roar! Look at my chi!” Spittle dripped from his lips; his crazed, beady little eyes shot this way and that as if, in his paranoia, he felt like he was being watched. “You’re no match for me, kid! I can levitate. Watch this!”

Gillford raised the net gun and then smacked Ryan on the back of the head with it, instantly knocking out our poor protagonist.

Episode 12: Tauros, Tauros, Tauros!

Ryan awoke from a particularly sticky dream about some boysenberry jam to find that his head was killing him. He was woozy, like he had just drank a gallon of orange juice (not that he would know what that felt like, to be sure). The Pokémon trainer stood up and yawned, finding himself wholly alone on the edge of Pallet Town. The sun was high in the sky. It was far later in the day than the last time he had been awake. That worried him.

“Wh… what happened?” the boy asked, rubbing his sore head.

“Scyther! Scytheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeer!!!!”

Ryan spun around and saw a Scyther perched on a nearby tree branch. It tilted its head and screamed. It was a perfect target, sitting there calmly, and he wasn’t about to let the chance get away from him. The boy reached for a Poké Ball, but found that his backpack was gone. That was when he remembered what had happened.

“Sweet Jeremiah!” the boy yelled in frustration. “That kid took all my Pokémon!”

“Scyther scythe scythe!”

Ryan scowled at the Scyther. “All I wanted to do was catch you! And look at the mess you’ve gotten me in! Well, are you gonna help me or what? I need to get my Pokébuddies back!”

The mantis Pokémon didn’t say anything to that, and when Ryan took a step forward to press the issue, it jumped back and flew off into the tall grass.

“Curses!” Ryan shook his fist at the sky. “What good’s a Pokémon trainer without any Pokémon?”

He found Pallet Town to be in utter chaos when he returned. He remembered that Gillford - The Supreme Extreme, as he wanted to be called - had said Professor Oak had a whole bunch of godly Pokémon he was going to steal. Hopefully the kid hadn’t stolen them yet, otherwise his own Pokémon could be long gone. But what Ryan found in the town did not get his hopes up.

Large three-tailed beasts were rampaging through the streets, running through houses, knocking over cars, and causing pedestrians to flee in all directions. Smoke and dust filled the air, as did the shouts of horrified citizens. Gillford must’ve done this, Ryan thought. But he’s careless… he let Professor Oak’s Pokémon out without catching them first. Ryan thought he saw Kelly and Rahul running down a street in the opposite direction, their Pokémon running alongside them. They must be trying to help calm things down. He frowned again, thinking about how he wanted to be there with them, how he wanted to show the world just how good a trainer he was. But I’m not a good trainer. I lost all my Pokémon. I have to get them back!

One of the beasts came Ryan’s way, huffing and mooing and stamping its feet. Ryan ducke aside and pulled out old Dexy from his pocket.

“What the heck is that?” he asked his machine.

“Tauros, the Wild Bull Pokémon. A rowdy Pokémon with a lot of stamina. Once running, it won't stop until it hits something.”

“Crap…” Ryan breathed. “This whole town’s gonna get smashed to bits if that’s true! We have to put a stop to this!”

Pocketing Lil’ Dex, Ryan rushed forward, down the street, and into pandemonium. He kept running through the smoke and past the Pokémon and people until he came to Professor Oak’s lab. It was situated on a hill, and as Ryan raced up the steps, he saw the figure of a boy in all black at the top.

When Ryan reached Gillford, he saw the young member of Team Rocket directing his Pokémon against those in Professor’s Oak’s backyard. He had knocked down a fence, letting out numerous Tauros and other creatures. At the same time, his own Pokémon, a Primeape, a Graveler, a Growlithe, a Poliwrath, and a Mr. Mime, were attacking Professor Oak’s Pokémon (and the reserve Pokémon of all Pallet Town trainers), and Gillford had a bag of Poké Balls next to him. Whenever his Pokémon took out one of their quarry, he would throw a Poké Ball and catch the thing. His pile was growing taller by the minute.

Ryan spied his own backpack on Gillford’s back and ran over to get it, his fists raised, when, out of nowhere, something tackled him from behind. He saw sky; then he saw ground and tasted dirt and felt something squeezing him hard.

“Hahaha! You dummy!” Gillford said, turning around to meet Ryan. “I beat you again! I’m so powerful!” He raised his right hand and revealed that he was holding a piece of cardboard with a crudely-drawn female face on it, lipstick and all. He kissed the thing passionately. “Yeah, victory! I’m the best, I’m the best, I’m The Supreme Extreme!”

“You… you’re crazy!” Ryan gasped as he felt himself being squeezed tighter. He looked around and caught a glimpse of the Pokémon holding him - a Tentacruel. It was using its wrap attack to immobilize and choke him.

“No, I’m The Supreme Extreme! And this is my wife, Mrs. Supreme Extreme. You’ll tell her how beautiful she is!”

“No I won’t,” Ryan replied. “I don’t do crazy!”

“She’s beautiful!” Gillford squealed like a ten-year-old chipmunk. “Look, look! She’s levitating! She’s a god! She’s reached a higher plane of existence!” he cried, waving around his cardboard girlfriend.

“Ba'hee Priss Dimmie…” Ryan muttered.

“What was that? You scoundrel! How dare you talk to a god like that! Is this anyway to treat the best Pokémon Master in the entire world?! Tentacruel, wrap him tighter! Make him feel supreme pain! For Team Rocket!!”

The Tentacruel obliged and tightened its hold on Ryan. The blue-haired boy screamed; he felt like he was being pressed into a vise. Just when he felt the last bits of air leaving his lungs and began seeing spots, Ryan felt sudden relief - he felt himself falling forward. As he crashed into the ground, he beheld the Tentacruel fall down unconscious next to him.

“Wh… what’s going… on…?” he gasped, rubbing his raw neck.

“Scyther! Scyyyyy!”

Before Ryan and Gillford stood the proud visage of the wild mantis Pokémon. It brandished its blade claws and screamed at Gillford. The Supreme Extreme shrieked like a schoolgirl and jumped back.

“Team of Gods, attack this wild animal!” he commanded his five quite average Pokémon.

Catching his breath, Ryan stood up and walked over to Scyther. “Hey, thanks for that! I guess better late than never, right?”

“Scyther!” the thing said in a crazed scream.

“All right, you’re gonna need to help me defeat this weird kid so I can get back my Pokémon, all right? One ‘Scyther’ for yes.”

“Scyther.”

That made Ryan smile. He took out Lil’ Dex and aimed it at Scyther. “All right you gorgeous piece of metal, tell me what moves Scyther knows.”

“I feel pretty, oh so pretty,” Dex said in monotone. “This Scyther knows the moves: Agility, Slash, Swords Dance, and Focus Energy.”

“We’re in business!” Ryan whooped. Pointing at the five Pokémon converging on him and Scyther, he shouted, “Swords Dance, Scyther, now!”

The bug Pokémon began to convulse again, this time in the flavor of Lady Gaga, and it was almost too much for Ryan to watch. He felt like throwing up or throwing himself from a balcony - perhaps both. Yet, by the time he was done, Gillford’s Pokémon had not yet reached him, so Ryan shrugged and shouted again.

“Okay, Slash ‘em up! Two attacks in a row yeah!”

“Scytheeeeeeer!”

He moved like a scythe through cotton candy, a green tornado of pain and heartbreak. Soon, the five godly Pokémon fell to the ground, dazed and of no more use.

The Supreme Extreme looked like he was nearly in tears. “N-no! They were godly! I trained them myself! Star Serelinglingauliniean and Deshawn Equinneus are the two strongest Pokémon ever to live! It’s a fact!”

Ryan didn’t know (and didn’t want to ask) why that insane trashboy had named his Pokémon so, and instead he stuck his tongue out. “Nananananana, I swept your team!”

“Cheater!” Gillford declared. “He’s a cheater, isn’t that right honey?” The cardboard cutout being held up by his right hand nodded. “See!”

“Yeah, I see!” Ryan replied, stepping forward and grinning. “I see you flying off into the distance! Scyther remove the trash! Send him where all good Team Rocket members go!”

And so he did. The Scyther bore down on Gillford and kicked him into the sky. Ryan’s backpack fell off of Gillford from the force of the attack and landed harmlessly on the ground. As the boy sailed off into the wild blue yonder, he screeched:

“Noooooo!!!! I’m blasting off for the first time!”

Scyther then followed that up by punting all of Gillford’s Pokémon after him. I guess he didn’t catch any legendaries after all.

“Good boy, Scyther!” Ryan beamed. He grabbed his backpack, made sure all six of his Pokémon were tucked away in their Poké Balls, and then tossed the wild mantis Pokémon a treat. “It’s an ultra-rare candy,” Ryan explained. “I won it off of Rahul after he bet me he could do a handstand. He didn’t even come close.”

The Scyther caught the candy in its mouth and gulped it down. “Scyther scythe,” it replied happily. Then, without warning, white light began to emanate from the Pokémon’s body, and he began to shake. “Scytheeeeeeeeeeeeeeer!!” the Pokémon yelled in an alarmed tone.

“What’s going on? Dex, explain!”

“You have given this Pokémon an ultra-rare candy. Ultra-rare candy is essentially Pokéroids,” the Pokédex replied. “Good job. I hope you are proud of yourself. I know I am.”

And such words could not have been truer, for as the light faded, Ryan noticed that where once had been a Scyther now stood a physical specimen of so fine a strain it would have impressed even dear old Ahnold. Covered in rippling muscles it was, massive and numerous, and its entire body seemed to shimmer with the light of midday. The Scyther was bigger than it had been before, and Ryan hoped that meant it was way more powerful now. It peered at the blue-haired boy solemnly.

“Now that’s a god Pokémon if I ever saw one!” Ryan declared.

“Scyther,” the animal whispered gruffly. Even its attitude had become more menacing.

“Okay boy, we still have a problem on our hands,” Ryan continued. “Pinkbeard is still out there, plus all those Tauros are loose! We have to save Pallet Town, boy. It’s up to us!”

“Scy scy scyther.”

The two ran across to the other side of Professor Oak’s lab where they could look down on the town. They could see Kelly and Dean and Rahul and Ash all battling the Tauros as best they could with the Pokémon they had. Ash’s Pikachu and Rahul’s Magneton were combining their electrical capabilities into one to try to zap the Tauros, but there were too many of the rampaging beasts and they were spread across the entire town. Kelly’s Arcanine was running up and down the streets trying to flame the Tauros into submission, but after a few such fire attacks, one annoyed Tauros turned and charged him, knocking the Arcanine out cold.

“With that ultra-rare candy in your system, you should be able to take them on, right boy?” Ryan asked. When his Pokémon nodded, he pointed at the Tauros below. “Okay, go knock all of the Tauros out. Agility now! And once you’re all fast, use Slash attacks!”

“Scyther.”

The green Pokémon flew down to the half-ruined town and worked his way through the charging Tauros like a butcher through a bowl of brown. Gleefully Ryan watched as Scyther knocked out all of the Pokémon he came into contact with. He found Pinkbeard demagoguing on top of a car with his Pokémon around him and sent all of them where Gillford had gone. Two Tauros chose to storm him as he glided towards them, but Scyther dodged their simple attacks by flying over them. When he did a backflip in midair and then landed on their backs, Scyther wasted no time in knocking them unconscious.

In the center of Pallet Town, Rahul and Ash stood with their Pokémon as the Tauros charged them from all sides. It looked like they were going to be run over until Scyther appeared and slashed the Tauros into submission.

With the last Tauros incapacitated, silence descended on the devastated town. Ryan and Kelly and Rahul helped Ash collect the Tauros into Poké Balls. Dust hung heavy in the air as the sun began to set over the forest of the wilderness. As he was helping capture all of the sleeping Tauros, Ryan noticed Scyther standing on the edge of Pallet Town, far removed from the rest of the people, sharpening his blades on one another. Finding this most curious, the Pokémon trainer walked over to the wild Pokémon hesitantly.

“Hey, Scyther! What are you doing out here?”

“Scyther!”

“You’re a hero, Scyther,” Ryan said. “You saved everyone. I can’t thank you enough! Without your help, I would’ve lost all the Pokémon I worked so hard to get.”

“Scyther scyther.”

Ryan scratched the back of his head. “So… why don’t you come back with us? You could be my Pokémon. You could travel around Kanto with me! I’m going to collect all of the Gym Badges. It could be fun…”

“Scy…” the Pokémon replied, stepping away from Ryan.

“It’s just… you know… I thought, after what we’ve just been through, together, you might wanna…”

“Scyther!” Scyther declared. He stared at Ryan for a moment, then turned away and took to the air.

“Wait, stop!” Ryan raised his hand. “Please, don’t go!”

But Scyther did not listen. Instead, he flew on, above the tall grass, towards the setting sun. Ryan let his hand drop and felt tears come to his eyes. He did not move as he watched the wild mantis Pokémon become a speck on the pink-orange horizon.

A hand fell on Ryan’s shoulder. “Hey kid, don’t beat yourself up about it. Not every Pokémon can be tamed. Sometimes you’ve got to let them go.”

Kelly’s voice was soft, kind, unlike her. That had taken aback Ryan almost as much as Scyther fleeing. “Th-thanks,” he mumbled, not turning to face her. He didn’t want her to see him crying.

“Don’t let it get to you, Ryan. There’ll be plenty of time to catch more Pokémon. We’ve got a long way to go before we reach the Indigo League.”

They watched the sun set for a few minutes before Kelly spoke again. The world was still as a painting, save for the sounds of feral Pokémon in the deep wilderness ahead. “Come on, we need to go back. Ash and Professor Oak wanted to talk to us. They’re at the lab.”

Ryan screwed up his face and wiped away his tears. He followed Kelly back into town, past the broken buildings and cars and refuse now covering most of the ground. They climbed the steps to Professor Oak’s lab for a second time that day, and for Ryan, it was with a much heavier heart, even though he had gotten his Pokémon back.

Awaiting them at the top, just inside the building, were Ash, Rahul, Mrs. Ketchum, Dean, and Professor Oak himself. They all smiled warmly upon seeing Ryan.

“There he is,” Professor Oak chuckled. “Thank you for saving my lab and the town, Ryan.”

“No problem.”

“I still can’t believe that happened!” Mrs. Ketchum exclaimed. “My diner was nearly destroyed! Oh, it’ll take Mimey forever to clean up the mess in there!”

“Yeah, I wonder what those two were up to letting all of my Tauros out,” Ash wondered aloud. “Kelly, you said they were part of Team Rocket?”

“Well, the kid was,” Kelly said. “His father is just a crusty old pirate.”

“They did so much damage,” Ash said, shaking his head. “I’m gonna have to stay here a lot longer than I had planned to help fix everything up.”

“But it wasn’t your fault,” Kell reminded him. “Team Rocket should have to fix this.”

“Knowing them, there’s no way they would,” Ash sighed. “But even though they managed to damage so much of the town, it would have been a lot worse if you hadn’t helped us when you had, Ryan. Your Scyther really saved the day.”

“Yeah…” Ryan replied, detached. “Couldn’t have done it without him.”

Ash patted him on the shoulder. “Here, as a token of our appreciation, take these.” He reached in his pocket and pulled out four Poké Balls. “A Tauros for each of you for helping to save Pallet Town. I mean, I have a whole herd of them. I’m never going to use them all in battle. So please accept this gift.”

“Oh yeah!” Rahul exclaimed, raising his screwdriver to the sky. “This calls for a celebration!” He clapped his hands and suddenly, two scantily-clad girls appeared holding plates of sweet rolls. Rahul didn’t hesitate to stuff his mouth with as many as he could while everyone else watched on in slight bemusement.

“Well, unfortunately, we have to get going,” Kelly said, finally breaking the awkward silence. “The Indigo League is starting pretty soon and all of us still need some more badges.”

“Yeah,” said Ryan cheerlessly.

“Before you go,” Professor Oak spoke up, “wasn’t there something you wanted? Ash told me one of you had a Pokémon with a name that needed changing.”

Ryan had almost forgotten, after all the events that had taken place that day. He fumbled in his bag before finding his Charmeleon’s Poké Ball. Then, he presented it to Professor Oak. “If you can, I’d like to change this guy’s name to Aegon, please.”

As the day turned to night, our four heroes set out on their journey once again. They said their goodbyes to Ash, his mother, and Professor Oak, who all thanked them profusely for helping them re-capture the Tauros. They left Pallet Town a grim place; it would take many months, perhaps even years, for that humble place to be repaired and rebuilt. Ryan wouldn’t forget that. For all of Gillford’s silly rambling, he was a genuinely bad person - he had threatened the lives of every member of Pallet Town and destroyed millions of dollars worth of property. If Ryan ever saw him again, he’d make that kid rue the day he attacked Professor Oak’s lab.

They set off down Route 1, flashlights in hand. Fireflies were buzzing and the air was fresh with the smell of grass. Kelly and Rahul and Dean were all in high spirits because they had acquired a new Pokémon, but for Ryan, the gift of the Tauros did not replace what he felt he had lost in Scyther.

Ryan fell to the back of the group and pulled six Poké Balls out of his bag and released the Pokémon from them. Regardless of how he was feeling, he had an obligation to his Pokémon, to make sure they got enough attention and were well-loved. They were probably frightened from being recently captured, and he needed to alleviate their fears. Ryan needed to show them that they were home again. Abra, Clawey, Matata, Cloyster, Dragonair, and Aegon came tumbling out of their balls.

“Hey guys, I’ve missed you! How is everybody?” His Pokémon whooped and laughed and bade their master good evening. It was a good feeling, Ryan knew, having someone care for you. And his Pokémon did, just as he cared for them. “Let’s go get some more badges, what do you say?”

His Pokémon screamed in agreement, and Ryan had to smile. As much as he wanted to wallow in regret, he couldn’t. Life goes on. He had to get the rest of the Gym Badges before the Indigo League started, and now he had a team of six to do so. So Ryan and his Pokémon rejoined Kelly and Rahul and Dean as they set off down the road to Viridian City and their next adventure.

Episode 13: Where The Wild Things Are

In the morning, the group continued on towards Viridian City. By noon, they could see the faintest signs of civilization looming in the distance, just above the horizon of the Viridian forest. Upon seeing this, Dean took the lead and led them swiftly down the grassy, wild path that was Route 1. It was like he really wanted to get home, or something.

In Ryan’s hand was his new Tauros’ Poké Ball. The Tauros - which he had named NaVorro - would be a great addition to his team. He had replaced old Matata with NaVorro last night; the process grieved the young trainer’s heart, in truth - she had been with Ryan on his Pokémon journey since nigh the very start. She had helped him get his very first gym badge. But she was just too weak. He hoped she wouldn’t mind.

Next to Ryan lumbered Rahul, his great belly swinging like a trash bag full of water with every step. In his hand was a plate of chicken and waffles, and he had syrup running down his lips and into his goatee. The devastation of the sweet stickiness was a grim sight to behold and even more tragic since they were all out in the wilderness and Rahul had no easy way to remedy himself of his sticky situation (save for, perhaps, thrusting his face into a river, which the well-cultured boy would never do (unless he was rewarded with food for doing that)). Despite that, the amiable bloke seemed not to care, and he was sucking on his fingers like they were made of cool whip.

“Hey Rahul, Dexy told me that Tauros is a great Pokémon. Did you add the one Ash gave you to your lineup?” Ryan asked the good-natured trainer as they walked side-by-side down the dirt path.

“What? Are you crazy?!” Rahul scoffed down two waffles in a breath. It was an astonishing feat of gluttony. He clapped his hands and two scantily-clad females burst out from the bushes and ran up to him with more steaming hot plates of chicken and waffles for sweet Rahul. He grunted in pleasure seeing the two plates and took them with great impatience. Then, the two women disappeared into the bushes again. As this had been happening ever since Ryan had first met Rahul, he no longer questioned such absurdities. “Your Pokédex must be broken. Magneton is way better than Tauros.” And with that, he downed another plate of breakfast. Ryan thought the boy had eaten enough for fourth breakfast, which would have made Merry and Pippin quite happy.

“Whatever you say, big man,” Ryan smiled. He trusted Dexy far more than Rahul, though. He liked his chances with the big, powerful wild bull Pokémon.

Kelly was in high spirits too, for she had also received a Tauros from Ash, and that meant that she had finally acquired a team of six. “I’m almost ready to challenge the Viridian City Gym Leader,” she told Ryan. “I think I need to get in a little more training, first. I haven’t used a Tauros in battle before. It would be nice to get familiar with Patrice before I use him in the gym battle.”

“Well at least you aren’t like Rahul,” Ryan observed. “He doesn’t see the value in a Tauros at all.”

Kelly’s face went pale and her eyes nearly bulged out of her skull. “Is he crazy?! This is Kanto! Tauros is one of the best Pokémon in the region. You can’t not have a Tauros on your team! It’s like thinking the first Pokémon theme isn’t the best one!”

“I tried to tell him, but he thought Magneton is better.”

Kelly nearly threw up, Rahul’s antics disgusted her so. “Well, if he finds a way to beat this Gym Leader, good for him. But he’ll be wanting that Tauros when he realizes how weak his team is without it.”

Poor guy. Ryan nodded in approval and felt his stomach growl for some chicken and waffles. Or maybe that was Abra, who was perched on his shoulder like a loyal parrot. The small Pokémon appeared to be asleep, and he was swinging this way and that, as precariously perched on Ryan’s shoulder as a glass of water. But Abra didn’t like his Poké Ball, and Ryan had not the heart to keep him in there too long, so this mad game was like to continue for some time.

“It doesn’t matter, though,” Kelly continued. “You two can’t face the Viridian City Gym Leader anyways.”

“What, why?!” Ryan was so startled at that bit of information that he jumped and caused Abra to go flying off of him and into the bushes. At once, Abra was confronted by another Pokémon: a ferocious Rattata! It was a hideous beast, as powerful as a carton of milk if Ryan had ever saw one. Abra yawned and hit it with Psychic. The poor purple rat went flying off into the deep forest, and Ryan wondered if that would allow Pokémon to become well-acquainted with Rahul’s food servants.

Kelly was not amused, and she did not even give Abra a thumbs up for defeating that super hard (and probably level 2) Rattata. That was okay, for Ryan lumped his Pokémon with many a praise as the little guy mounted Ryan’s shoulder again. “You need the other seven badges before you can go to the Viridian City gym,” she explained. “It’s the hardest gym. Only the best trainers can get through to take part in the Indigo League.”

Well that was not fair, not fair at all. Ryan had started this journey not too long ago and he had planned on going with Kelly to the end. But since he had started so late, she had gathered far more gym badges than him. How now was their journey together supposed to continue? He felt a flush creeping up on his face as he opened his mouth again, “B-but… I still have to get all of my other badges. Aren’t you coming with me?”

A strange look flickered across Kelly’s face as she looked over to him. Then, after a pause, the pink-haired girl shook her head. “Once I’ve got the last badge, I’m going to the Indigo Tournament. If you can get all the other badges in time, maybe I’ll see you there.”

The words stung like a slap to the face, and Ryan was left speechless. He stopped walking, even as the others continued on, not noticing how affected he was. “I… I thought we were going on this adventure together…” he whispered to himself. “I don’t want to be alone again…”

“Abra,” Abra contended.

“Abra,” Ryan replied sadly.

When he rejoined the group, Kelly had taken a few of her Poké Balls out of her pack. He saw her throw them into the tall grass on the left side of the path. Instantly, ‘Aichu and Patrice materialized. “All right,” the girl began, “this is a good place to stop. We should get in some last minute training before we get to Viridian City.”

“Why should we?” Ryan snapped. “Rahul and I aren’t going to the gym.”

Kelly laughed at Ryan’s attitude. “Then wait for me in the Pokémon Center. But your Pokémon could use some training too for when you finally do return to this gym.” She grabbed two more Poké Balls and threw them, releasing her Arcanine, Fluffy, and her Wartortle, Tortilla. “I didn’t think you’d turn down a chance to make your Pokémon stronger, Ryan, but if that’s what you want, then go…”

Ryan scrunched up his face like a rapturous gremlin. “Okay, okay! I’ll stay. My new guys could use some training, I guess.”

“Oh, are we stopping here?” Rahul said in a dazed voice. He had continued walking on with Dean when he realized the other two had stopped. Taking selfies of the ruination that was his sticky face with his Sonic Screwdriver had caused Rahul to lose so much awareness that, briefly, he was almost promoted to Lieutenant of that venture in Ryan’s eyes. “I guess it’s a good time for a snack.” The boy snapped his fingers, and a woman came stumbling out from behind a tree ahead, ran over to him, and handed him a plastic bag of trail mix, minus the trail and the mix. All that was left was the good part - the M&M's. And if Ryan knew Rahul - and he sure as heck didn’t - he would have expected no less.

Dean, who was leading them down the path, suddenly stopped, and turned around to glare at Kelly. “We’re not stopping here. I need to get home.”

“Well, kid, I need to train my Pokémon before we get there!” Kelly bit her lip, but did not back down. She put her hands on her hips and stood defiant to the younger boy. The way she looked then gave Ryan a tingly feeling down his chest. “And we’ll wait however long that takes.”

“Not me,” Dean replied. “I’m going home. I don’t even know who you people are, really. I don’t have to stay with you.”

“We’re not making you stay with us,” said Kelly.

Dean glowered. “It’s my way or the highway!” he said, annoyed.

Kelly shrugged. “Suit yourself.”

“Bye Dean. You were cool!” Ryan waved. “I’ll never forget how you defeated Pinkbeard! That was awesome.”

Rahul ate a handful of M&M’s.

Ryan had not known the boy very well. Aside from when Dean had saved him from Pinkbeard on the boat, Ryan had not had many interactions with the black-haired boy at all. And that was all well and good, since the boy was much younger than him, and they wouldn’t have much to talk about. Even when they had stayed at Ash’s house, he had only talked with Dean briefly. They had not been traveling companions so much as they had been strangers traveling to the same destination together. And now they were going to be separated. Ryan felt a little sad, but not much. That kid was cool, but he and Ryan had never bonded.

And so Dean went off down Route 1, alone. Ryan and the others released every one of their Pokémon - 18 in all - to fight the various wild Pokémon along the road. Ryan was a bit dubious at this strategy, since after a few rounds, he realized the wild Pokémon were weaker than a ninety-eight year old fiddler halfway up the roof. He didn’t think their Pokémon were getting much stronger with each passing fight, but he dared not say that to Kelly, for as determined as she was, he didn’t want to get on her bad side.

Ryan was very proud of his Pokémon: Aegon, the Charmeleon, was a seasoned fighter who fought his opponents with cold determination; Abra was as powerful as he had ever been, and lazily dealt with his quarry without even lifting an eyelid; NaVorro, Ryan’s newest Pokémon, proved to be quite powerful as well, as he viciously demolished all of the scary powerful Rattatas he went up against; Clawey handled his foes like he was a wild Pokémon himself and knew his way around the tall grass; Thurnax’s majestic force was a beauty to behold, and as he saw his Dragonair take out scores and scores of Pidgeys and Rattatas, Ryan nearly cried it was so beautiful to him; and last, but not least was Ryan’s Cloyster, who he had named Myrrah since she last appeared. Like the others, she easily took out dozens and dozens of wild Pokémon until their unconscious bodies piled up high as trees around them. Where all these Pokémon came from, Ryan did not know. The small patch of tall grass they were in did not seem like a big enough ecosystem to support so many hundreds of Pokémon, but he did not question it.

All of this took place in little more than two minutes, for Ryan’s Pokémon were legit (Kelly’s and Rahul’s probably were too, but Ryan had not the attention span to note their fights). And as Ryan was congratulating his buddies for wasting endless waves of wild Pokémon, he suddenly heard a noise coming from ahead. He raised his head like a Meerkat (or the Pokémon equivalent if there was one, but since there wasn’t one in Generation 1, Ryan didn’t care ‘bout that, no sir).

There stood Dean in the center of Route 1. Another boy, slightly taller than him, was standing in the tall grass to his right, and after a few seconds, walked out of the wilderness and onto the path himself. Ryan thought the two looked eerily similar. They were both Asian; that was a certainty. And they had a look about them, a certain type of face that would be too inappropriate for Ryan to explain in much detail here. Suffice to say, Ryan thought the two were related.

He could hear them talking, but did not understand them. It was like they were talking in some kind of Pokéspeak, though it could very well have been Chinese. Ryan could not distinguish the two from one another, of course. After a few moments, Dean and Big Dean turned around and walked back to the three trainers laying waste to the wilderness.

As they got closer, Rahul let out a squeal of delight, like a hungry Slowbro. “Alex, Alex, Alex! Yo! Alex! Aleeeex!!” he yelled, waving his hands over his head. Ryan and Kelly and their Pokémon watched this in silent awe. All of the battles stopped, and the lucky surviving wild Pokémon ran for the hills, bless their spleens.

The two Chinese kids arrived with smiles on their faces. The one Rahul called Alex put on a pair of sunglasses, then took a gigantic yo-yo out of his backpack, raised in the air and made some kind of gang sign with his hand. Then, unprompted, he burst out into a show of flinging the yo-yo around. Dean had a boombox in his hand and played some balla tunes as Alex flung himself about in some kind of show. This was all very bizarre to Ryan, who wished they could just go back to genociding wild Pokémon instead of watching Chinese kids convulse about with big yo-yos.

Once Alex was done with his spontaneous performance, he took a bow, and everyone clapped mightily for the little guy. Though Ryan could see he was several years older than Dean, he wasn’t actually that much taller. He wore a blue short-sleeved shirt with a grey long-sleeved undershirt, a red scarf, and black pants and looked like a small gust of wind could blow him over, he was so skinny and tiny.

“Sup, Rahul,” Alex said at last, in a voice that seemed too deep for such a small dude. “Didya… miss me?”

Dean laughed. Rahul grunted in approval. Kelly and Ryan watched in awe. Alex’s words sent shivers down Clawey’s spine - Ryan would bet a million Poké Dollars on that.

“Hey… so hey, that kid’s your brother, right?”

“Yeah, that’s Dean. He’s my brother.”

Ryan couldn’t believe an actual human being would say something so obvious.

“Awesome!” Rahul said, chuckling and with a glimmer in his eyes. “We met him on the boat ride back from Cinnabar Island. He’s cool.”

“Yeah, he told me all about it,” Alex said. He looked happy enough, but that gruff voice of his seemed like it was an impersonation of someone Ryan did not know.

“Hi, I’m Ryan!” Ryan shouted. “I’m a Pokémon trainer.”

Alex nodded. “Alright.”

Kelly was messing with a strand of her pink hair anxiously, as if she wanted nothing more than to go back to training her Pokémon. “I’m Kelly. We’ve been traveling with Dean and Rahul for a while now. I guess you know that, though.”

“Oh okay,” Alex said.

“Hey Alex,” Rahul said gleefully. “Look what I’ve got!” He held up the little booklet that held his three gym badges. “Three already!”

“Nice. Are you going to enter the Indigo Tournament?”

“Of course!” the big man yelled jubilantly. Ryan had no idea why Rahul had become so energetic all of the sudden. “You should enter, too.”

“Yeah. I know. Been too busy with Poké Smash, though.”

“What the heck is Poké Smash?!” asked Ryan.

“Are you kidding me?” Rahul roared. “A-are you kidding me, Ryan?! Really, you don’t know what Poké Smash is? How can you not know what Poké Smash is?!” Rahul laughed incredulously.

“Well, what is it?”

Before Rahul could respond, he decided to start a new conversation, as he oft does (what a guy). “Hey Alex, let’s battle. You and me, six on six. You better have your team with you.”

“I do,” the short Chinese adolescent replied.

“Awesome!” Rahul thrust his Sonic Screwdriver up, up, up, as if he was trying to color the sky. “Let’s do this!”

“Very well,” Alex said seriously. He turned to Dean. “You better get home. Mom’s been wondering where you’ve been. You’ll have a lot to tell her. Make sure to show her the Pokémon you caught, too.” Dean nodded. “Oh, and if I’m not home tonight, remember that after Mom and Dad and Tracey go to bed, you can wake up Robbie and Xiao Bao (aka Zach) and play Halo 7 with them. Just be sure to keep the volume off so no one wakes up. That is the only way you’ll be able to play Halo. I know it’s weird, since we have a Poké Box One and Halo 7, so we should be able to play the game, but Mom and Dad won’t let us play it ever unless we sneak up late at night to do so.”

Dean nodded and bowed. “Bye Alex! Good luck with the fight!” he said, before running off to his city and home. And that was the last time Ryan ever saw the kid, at least in person.

Alex turned back to face Rahul. “It’s been a while since we’ve dueled, Rahul. I’m sure we’re both a little rusty. I’m not sure I’ll be able to anticipate your moves that well.”

“Heh, Alex, my Pokémon are way stronger than they were last time. I even have a Magneton now. I’m soooooo going to win.”

Alex did a little spin move, his scarlet scarf twirling like something that twirls, and then did a somersault and a jump. It was all rather random and inexplicable. Ryan felt like he was watching performance art. The only thing that was missing was Alex cutting open a can of Spaghettios and pouring it all over himself. When the Chinese boy had had his fill of this, he stopped, caught his breath, and spoke, with all his conviction. “Were it so easy.”

Alex’s eyes narrowed (an impressive feat for someone with his eyes to begin with), and then threw a Poké Ball at the space in between him and Rahul. Rahul patted his belly and stroked his syrup-crusted beard and then followed suit. The greatest battle of our time had just begun.

Episode 14: To Be A Rock And Not To Roll

“You better not take forever!” Rahul screamed. “Battle timer is on! Inactive players will be automatically lose the match!”

“What are you talking about?” Alex asked.

“I don’t want this to take forever. It’s my request,” replied Rahul proudly. He slapped his belly, and Ryan thought he had never looked more like a Snorlax than at that moment.

“Alright.”

Out went Alex’s Starmie from its Poké Ball. Rahul’s Kadabra went flying out of his Poké Ball as well.

“Whoa, Abra, look, it’s your papa!” Ryan proclaimed carelessly, patting his Abra on the head.

“Bra rah!” Abra grunted, his eyes moving back and forth with great suspicion. “Rah, rah, abra, abra rah! Bra, abra. Rah. Rah, abra, abra, rah, bra, abra! Abra!”

Luckily for us, no one knows how to translate Abra’s language.

“Alright Shuriken,” Alex said in a low rumble, “use Blizzard.”

“Thunder Wave!” Rahul roared like an Entei in heat.

Ryan watched as the Starmie’s attack missed, and the Kadabra’s attack hit, paralyzing the Starmie.

“Ah, RNGesus,” Alex said and no one paid attention to what he said. It was great.

“Thunder Punch,” Rahul stated calmly.

“Blizzard again!”

This time, both attacks hit, dealing a multitude of damage to both Pokémon. Ryan wondered who would die first. It was truly suspenseful. He grabbed a bucket of popcorn from his backpack and started munching on it hastily.

“Whoa, who do you think will win?” he asked Kelly, who was standing nearby.

“Rahul has only three badges,” Kelly reminded Ryan. “I’m not sure he can win. His Pokémon probably aren’t at high enough levels.”

“Come on Kelly, believe in the big man. Rahul is awesome. Plus we have no idea what his full team is, since we’ve never seen him do a battle like this. In fact, we don’t know pretty much anything about him ‘cept he’s awesome.”

And Kelly, bless her pink hair, could not offer any counter to such a logical statement.

“Shuriken return!” Alex said, throwing a different Poké Ball. “Go, Mahogany!”

“Thunder Punch!” screamed Rahul.

The aforementioned Thunder Punch hit Mahogany, who Ryan’s Pokédex told him was an Exeggutor. The attack did very little damage, though it did paralyze the poor plant-egg-thing. Who the heck would make a Pokémon look like that? You would have to drink an insane amount of orange juice to think that eggs evolve into a palm tree. I mean seriously, it was one of the first 151 Pokémon and you’re telling me that they already ran out of interesting ideas for Pokémon? This guy looks like he should be coming from the 600s at the very least. Someone probably just gave the Pokémon creators a bunch of eggs, and their first thought was that eggs become palm trees, and I don’t know why anyone would think that.

Seeing his attack missed, Rahul became distressed. “Kadabra, return! Go Dragonair!”

“Sleep Powder!” Alex ordered Mahogany.

“Dragonair, use Toxic!” Rahul commanded.

The attack failed, yet somehow Mahogany was still paralyzed. Amazing how Pokémon physics work sometimes, especially in gen 1. Mahogany, the poor guy, was unable to follow up with an attack of his own. Dragonair then used an Ice Beam, which was super effective to the palm tree wannabe, and Mahogany once again used the Sleep Powder move. Dragonair fell asleep, bless its heart, but woke up the very next turn after taking a devastating Psychic attack! Wow, what a move! Alex twirled when he saw the attack hit, so sure was he that victory was in his grasp. He almost busted out the yo-yos at that point. Almost.

“Come back, Mahogany!” Alex ordered. “Go Incinerator!”

A Charmeleon went flying out into the battlefield, only to be met by an Ice Beam. Due to the undeniable power of the old gods of Alex’s homeland, Incinerator managed to survive the devastating hit.

“Body Slam!” grunted Alex. The attack did decent damage to the Dragonair, though it was nothing to write home about.

“Surf!” ordered Rahul. Somehow, the Surf attack, despite being even more devastating than the Ice Beam attack, didn’t take out the Charmeleon. “Wait, how is he not knocked out?!” Rahul yelled. “Surf should easily take out a Fire Pokémon! Are you kidding me?!”

No one said a thing to him, though Ryan reflexively patted his own belly.

“What do you think?” Ryan asked Kelly.

“Alex is by far the superior trainer. His Pokémon are stronger, and he’s spent more time with them, learning their movesets and styles,” she noted. “Rahul has only three badges. He’s not experienced enough. This Alex kid is a far smarter trainer too, and he’s outplaying Rahul. It’s not just that his Pokémon are stronger, but his strategy is far better than Rahul’s. He’s anticipating Rahul’s moves, whereas Rahul isn’t capable of such advanced thinking.”

“I bet that’s because they know each other!” Ryan chimed in.

Kelly shook her head, annoyed. “You could learn a lot from Alex.”

“So could you!”

“I have seven badges, and I’m about to get my eighth,” the pink-haired girl contended. “I’m far better at this than any of you three.”

“Oh yeah? I bet I could beat you right now! What do you think, Abra?”

“Bra.”

“Darn right!” Ryan replied.

“Please, there’s no way I’m going to fight you. I’ll leave you here before that happens.”

“B-but why?!” Ryan’s face fell.

“There’s already a battle going on. It’s too difficult for the readers to keep track of two battles going on at once. Plus, I need my Pokémon healthy for the trek through Viridian Forest.”

“Curses!” Ryan said, shaking his fist at the sky, causing Abra to fall off of him. As he looked down and saw Abra lying in the grass, the weeds around him, Ryan thought that the little Pokémon looked just like Santa Claus, and that made him feel okay again.

Regardless, back in the actual battle, Rahul used Surf again, causing Incinerator to faint. It was a crucial knockout, Ryan thought. Since Rahul got the first knockout, the good Ryan thought that there was no way the big man could lose now. He felt like busting out the sparklers for such a momentous occasion. His good friend with the goatee of a god was about to win.

Alex sent out Shuriken again, who was met with a devastating Thunderbolt attack. It was super effective, wow! But, Shuriken had a card up its sleeve as well - the oft used Blizzard. This time, the attack hit, and Dragonair fainted. A stunning turn of events in Ryan’s eyes! But then, Rahul brought back out his Kadabra, who used Thunder Punch again. This time, Shuriken the Starmie was dealt with and bam, bam, bam, it fainted. Ryan thought he saw a tear come to Alex’s eye then, for Starmie is one of his most favorite Pokémon ever. Then, Alex took out his Tauros, whom he called Robbie Jr., (“Hey, I have one of those!” Ryan told Kelly, who seemed to not hear him) and wrecked the Kadabra with a Hyper Beam like a durian in a meat shredder. At that point, Rahul took out his Lapras, a Pokémon Ryan had never seen nor heard of before, and had Dexy not confirmed it to be a real Pokémon, Ryan would not have believed his eyes. It was crazy how there were Pokémon in his own region that Ryan did not immediately recognize, but he dared not tell Kelly this, for she would have only called him stupid again had he revealed that fact to her, and he didn’t like her when she was being mean to him.

Then, Alex sent out his Jolteon, named Snuggly (and this made Ryan think that perhaps Alex is a fairy, but more on that in chapter 23). This scared the heck out of Rahul, who squealed, jumped up in the air, and stroked his beard ferociously, before withdrawing Lapras, and sending out his Rhyhorn. However, Alex seemed to have anticipated this, for he had his Snuggly-pooh use Double Kick instead of the expected electric attack. It was incredible! A super effective attack! Wow!

Rahul ordered his Rhyhorn to use Earthquake, but Alex withdrew his Snuggly and sent Mahogany the palm tree out again.

“Don’t let your eggs get cracked!” Ryan shouted to much fanfare from Abra. Neither Alex nor Rahul seemed to hear him, as the two were busy twirling and grunting about like a couple of circus bears on lunch break.

What happened next still haunts Rahul to this day. If one brings up the next battle, Rahul will throw curry at them or try to end the Skype call faster than Roger Goodell can play the xylophone (that dude can play the spoons like it’s nobody’s business - he’s like a centipede who’s eaten a couple hard candies). Suffice to say, the next battle did happen, regardless of Rahul’s feelings about it, and though one must cry oneself to sleep just thinking about it, the fight must still be documented for posterity’s sake. Rahul then switched out his Rhyhorn for his Magneton, his most treasured Pokémon, and one he actually thinks is a good Pokémon in gen 1 physics. Mahogany used Mega Drain then, to which Rahul’s Magneton had no answer. Then Mahogany did it again (Alex is a classic spammer, which is also seen with his younger brothers when they like to spam Meta Knight against me, and I will never forgive Zach and Robbie Sr. for doing so (this is why Dean is my favorite to this day)). Then, Magneton tried to use Supersonic, but the attack missed. Rahul must’ve nearly ripped off his wife-beater at that turn of events. Then Mahogany put the big man’s Magneton to sleep with Sleep Powder. Stunning finish I say, as any soccer commentator would say. The Mahogany used Mega Drain and Psychic for good measure, nearly wiping Magneton, Rahul’s prized Pokémon, off of the face of the Kanto region.

“Oh my god,” Rahul said in disgust. “How is this happening?”

Then Magneton woke up. It used a Thunder, which though it paralyzed the Exeggutor, was not a very effective attack.

“Gotta use Mega Drain again,” Alex said outloud. “Spam, spam, spam, yo. Gotta make my brothers proud.”

“Gotta go faster, faster,” Ryan sang tunelessly in response. Abra barked at him for such an atrocious showing, and the boy blushed and didn’t sing no more, no more.

Rahul didn’t seem to learn from his last attack and used Thunder again. It wasn’t super effective this time either, wow! And Mahogany used another Mega Drain. Sadly, for all of us readers, Mahogany was paralyzed by this attack, which prolonged this fight by at least two turns.

“Man, this is horrible,” Ryan commented. “They are just using the same attacks over and over again. What the heck? I didn’t pay to see none of this jive nonsense!” The boy threw his popcorn down in disgust. Abra, shocked by Ryan’s wanton mishandling of the popcorn, teleported to the ground and grabbed a couple of pieces before teleporting back to his master’s shoulder.

Rahul tried to use the non-effective Thunder again. But his Magneton’s attack missed. Then, Mahogany’s move finally went through, and surprise, surprise it was another Mega Drain. Everyone applaud this masterful effort, please, for Magneton was at last dealt with, and this long, horrible, boring battle was mercifully brought to an end. Praise Gooby.

“Go Charizard,” Rahul said.

“Return, Mahogany,” Alex replied. “Go Meteor,” the boy said, sending out his powerful Golem.

“Fire Blast,” Rahul ordered his Charizard.

But the attack was not very effective, alas. This fight just won’t end, Ryan thought. Six vs. six is a long, long battle. It takes forever and ever and ever and man we’re like 1600 words in, and turns like this are not helping.

“Charizard, Fly!”

“Rock Slide, Meteor!”

Alas again, the Rock Slide attack missed, prolonging this fight further. Ryan looked at the non-existent watch on his left hand. “Hey, do you want to go to Viridian City now?” he asked Kelly.

“We could,” Kelly said cautiously, “but Rahul will whine and chase us down and it’ll be horrible if we leave. Besides, the fight is almost over. Rahul is definitely losing.”

“But he’s such a guy…” Ryan muttered sadly. “I always want him to do good because he’s so nice to me and has some rocking facial hair. But he does bring this upon himself.”

As all of that was irrelevant, Kelly did not reply.

Then, Charizard used a Fly attack again. As expected, it wasn’t very effective. It was as if Rahul didn’t know which moves were effective against his opponent’s Pokémon. Then, Meteor used Rock Slide again, and this time, through the power of magic, the Charizard was knocked unconscious! Such a super attack. Ryan nearly cried it was so beautiful to watch the Charizard get taken out by a single attack.

“Go Rhyhorn!” said Rahul, throwing another Poké Ball.

“Earthquake, Meteor!” Alex commanded.

The Earthquake took out Rhyhorn in a single attack. Even Abra jumped and shouted in with pleasure at this. Popcorn ran down his face in buttery chunks, so hysterical was the little Pokémon. Ryan had to calm him down and remind Abra that this was just a game, that this was just a Pokémon battle. It wasn’t real life, no matter how much Alex and Rahul wanted it to be.

Rahul remained calm, even in the face of sure defeat. “Go Lapras! Use Ice Beam!”

The Golem absorbed the attack before he could render an attack of his own, and fainted from the sheer power of it.

“Go Snuggly!” Alex shouted. “Let’s end this.”

“Bra, abra, rah, rah, rah!” Abra shouted. Clearly, he wanted this fight to end too. Like any good game of monopoly, this fight had been over after about five minutes in, and the slow defeat of Rahul had been quite a painful sight up to this point. Had Abra not had some popcorn to munch on, he might have not been so amiable, and Ryan could not blame him.

“Thunderbolt!” Alex shouted.

“Surf!”

Only the Thunderbolt was super effective, as is expected. But Lapras didn’t die. Rahul got a glint in his eye. “I’m going to win this,” he declared. “I’m feel incredible! I feel great! I can do this!”

“Thunderbolt,” replied Alex, simply.

Before Rahul could even order his own Pokémon to do another move, the Jolteon sprung forward, shot a Thunderbolt at Rahul’s last Pokémon, and in a flash of light, the poor Lapras fell over, unconscious. The battle was over. Ryan clapped, but he was the only one to show such support.

“Dang, I want a rematch!” Rahul declared, grabbing some of his Poké Balls and fondling them furiously.

Alex smirked and jumped off of the rock he was standing on. “Were it so easy.”

“Come ooooooooooooooon,” Rahul said in a long whine. “Best two out of three.”

“Your Pokémon are unconscious,” Alex reminded him, “and a few of mine are too. You need to get them to a Pokémon Center before we battle again.”

“I probably have a bunch of revives in here somewhere,” Rahul responded, feeling through his man-purse for all of his Pokémon items. He found one or two revives, but not nearly enough for himself, let alone Alex, who did not seem to have any revives (though he probably did, knowing Alex, but he didn’t want to say so, so that he wouldn’t have to waste any more time beating Rahul again).

“Oh well,” replied Alex. “I guess we’ve got to go to Viridian City.”

“Yes,” Kelly said, stepping forward. “We better get going. It’s getting pretty late.”

“But we have to go through the dreaded Viridian Forest!” Ryan said, dismayed. “And Alex and Rahul don’t have many Pokémon. Are we going to make it through?”

“It’s no problem,” Alex said. “The Pokémon in Viridian Forest aren’t very powerful.”

“But, but, but,” Ryan stammered, “the Viridian City Gym is the best Gym in all of Kanto! Why would its forest have all of the weakest Pokémon?”

“Because, this is where most Pokémon Trainers start their journeys,” Alex replied. “Well, you are expected to start your journey in Pallet Town.”

“I didn’t,” grunted Rahul. “And I already have three badges. Ryan has three badges too, and he didn’t start in Pallet Town.”

“Alright,” said Alex. “But you were supposed to.”

Ryan felt his sass mouth coming to him and had to hold back a wee bit. “Hey, I wasn’t born in Pallet Town! It’s not fair that I should have to start there! I started my journey where I was born, and so did Rahul! That should be good enough for you, Yo-Yo Ma!”

Kelly crossed her arms and narrowed her eyes. “Can you guys continue this stupid conversation on the way to Viridian City? I’ve got places to be.”

“Yeah, let’s go!” Ryan shouted, nearly causing Abra to fall off of his shoulder.

Rahul agreed and nodded his head vigorously, like a wet dog. “Hey Alex, why don’t you come with us? Come on, Alex, come oooooooooooooon. You know you want to.”

After a dramatic pause, Alex said, “Alright.”

“Awesome!” Rahul said. He roared like a dinosaur. He clapped his hands jubilantly, as if he didn’t remember just getting his Poké Balls served to him by Alex. At once, two women came running out of the bushes and presented Rahul with a plate of steaming hot curry and rice. Rahul grunted in approval, the sweat on his brow serving as an indication of how much he desired his food. Even Ryan felt his mouth watering. Abra, who was munching away on the last remnants of Ryan’s popcorn, didn’t seem to mind though.

“Alright, everyone, let’s go!” Ryan shouted, punching the sky. “Let’s go through Viridian Forest and get Kelly to her last Gym Battle!”

Ryan tried to sound encouraging and happy, but in truth, he was anything but. He didn’t feel funky funky fresh whatsoever. In fact, the blue-haired novice of a trainer was quite sad - almost as sad as when he had to depart with the Scyther but a few chapters ago. Ryan knew that he and Kelly were about to part ways, and he was not ready for such a thing. He liked Kelly, despite the way they interacted with one another; she had been with him near the start of his journey. He couldn’t imagine going on without her. And yet, he would have to. There was nothing to do about it. He couldn’t make her come with him to the other gyms, since she wouldn’t need to fight those gym leaders herself. Kelly would be better off spending her time training her Pokémon for the Indigo League Tournament. And he couldn’t tell her how he felt. So instead, Ryan led the group into the Viridian Forest, as if it was not, indeed, to their doom.

From behind the four trainers, a man peeked out from the bushes. He was nigh bald, except for several long strands of hair sprouting out from the sides of his head, falling in ragged blond strands down the back of his neck. The man was wearing a dark black leather jacket and black jeans. He was sporting a pair of binoculars around his neck, as lit as as a rusty fishing rod. He had a fearsome, slightly-wrinkled forehead, with pinkish skin, and the face of a man who looked like he had just shaved off a beard. The man grasped his binoculars and looked at the four children walking into the Viridian Forest ahead of him.

“They’re going into the Viridian Forest. That’s where the Dragonrider is. They must be in league with him. It’s a conspiracy!” he whispered to himself. “Ha, I should know. I was a governor, a fighter, a Navy SEAL. Think I don’t know what’s going on? Think I won’t put a stop to this? Think again.”

With that, the almost-bald man who looked like his face was carved out of buttered marble, stood up, and ran after Ryan and the gang. And as he went, one could hear the man whispering, “Mind control!” to himself over and over again.

Episode 15: Carry That Weight

“So why didn’t you become a trainer?” Ryan asked Alex as the group walked into Viridian Forest.

“I don’t know. Smash, probably.”

“Are you going to become a professional Super Smash Bros. Pokémon player instead?”

“Alright,” replied Alex.

“Okay, cool.” Ryan was perplexed by this boy’s speech, but he nonetheless went with it. “So you have a pretty great team, huh?”

Alex nodded his beautiful little Asian face. Ryan didn’t even think it looked whiny one bit. “Yeah, I was born to be a winner.”

“Do you want to be the best, like no one ever was?” Ryan asked, his eyes wide as dalmations.

“Don’t ever say that to me,” Alex scowled. He whipped his yo-yos back and forth. He whipped his yo-yos back and forth. “I am born to be a winner, hands down. Not what you said. That’s just dumb.”

This bizarre, cringeworthy behavior would surely be regretted by Alex in about five years, Ryan knew, but he said nothing about that. “Well, can you train me? I wanna get better!” He looked over at Kelly, who was talking with Rahul about how many poppers Rahul could eat in one minute. “I wanna be the best there ever was.”

“Yeah, alright,” Alex said in a very deep voice - perhaps too deep for someone his size. “Once we get to Viridian City, I’ve gotta brb dishes, but afterwards, I can show you the book I’ve been putting together. Rahul wanted to look at it too.”

“Huh? A book?”

“I’ve been taking notes on the best Pokémon and how to use them,” Alex explained. “Despite people using Pokémon for battle for years, only I have been able to find these secret strategies. It’s not widespread information. I won’t be telling very many people. I’m the only one in the world, pretty much, who knows which Pokémon are the best.”

“Woohoo!” Ryan shouted, punching the air. “I’m gonna be a part of the 1%!”

From up ahead, a Growlithe sprung from the bushes and came running over to the group. Riding him was a small Asian man with stark white flowing hair, a fine black-and-white suit with a red tie, and a dazed grin on his face. “1% solar diminishing is nothing to write home about,” the man explained to the group, who stopped as his Growlithe started prancing about in front of them. “But look, an Alien Megastructure,” the man said amiably, pointing to a hive of Kakuna perched on a nearby tree. "Truly spectacular! That is off-scale! 15-22% diminishing light return. Remarkable! We’ve finally made contact.”

“What are you going on about, old man?” Kelly asked him, annoyance high in her voice.

“Uahhhahahahhh, hi… you’re assaulting me!” the man said, almost falling off his Growlithe. He seemed startled that there was anyone there to speak to him.

Kelly raised an eyebrow. “You’re the one who came out of the bushes to come over to us.”

“Ah yes, bits of matter and antimatter are 100% efficient when they touch one another.”

“Well, who are you?” Rahul asked him, his hands flailing into the air like some blow-up clown at a car dealership.

“Hello. I am Dr. Michio Kaku,” the small man said happily, “professor of theoretical physicist at Smogon University.”

“Yeah, but how is that relevant?” asked Ryan.

“Well, theoretically, we are all in the Viridian Forest,” Dr. Kaku pointed out. “And Einstein liked to play the violin. Me, I like to ice skate.”

“Are you gonna lead us to Viridian City?” Kelly asked.

“If you want,” Dr. Kaku said. “Okay, let’s go. And we’re off! Welcome to the Dr. Kaku theoretical tour of the most dangerous forest in the physical world.”

And thus, the four were off, Dr. Kaku’s Growlithe leading them. As they went, they stared at the old man who seemed so oblivious to everything around him. He pointed this way and that, remarking on the crazy things he was seeing. “Ah yes, some scientists are saying that dark matter hides in bushes,” he said to the four trainers. “It is a new and exciting age of discovery.”

“We should ditch this guy,” Rahul put forth.

Kelly shook her head. “No, we need to get through this forest as quickly as possible. If he leads us out, it’s worth it.”

So the trainers did not ditch poor Kaku-san. They kept going along at a brisk pace until they came to a clearing in the trees, where a group of people were lying on the ground ahead of them. Every one of them held a bug catching net in their hands, and they were all lying on the ground, appearing dazed. Several of them had Pokémon knocked unconscious next to them. Upon seeing this, everyone ran over to the group of bug catchers, sans Kaku-kun who continued along at his regular pace, seemingly not seeing what Ryan, Kelly, Rahul, and Alex had seen. He began humming tunelessly to himself and would occasionally say, “At the present time, we are really clueless as to what natural phenomenon causes comets the size of Jupiter to migrate west for the winter.”

Ryan ran up to the nearest trainer, who was covered in bruises and scrapes and asked, “What happened?”

“Oh… it was terrible..” the bug catcher gasped. “A-a-a… d-demon… he took all of us out. He’s was riding on a dragon…”

“No it wasn’t… a d-dragon,” another fallen bug catcher replied. “It… it was Gojira!!!”

“Gojira..” an old bug catcher murmured as he held a lit lighter to his face, “Gojira…”

“I think it was a new kind of Pokémon,” another croaked.

“No, definitely not,” a fourth argued.

“Alright, so he was riding on a dragon or he wasn’t. But why did he attack you?” Ryan questioned the bug catchers.

“H-he… challenged us to a fight…” one said. “But we… we only h-had Metapods. We stood no chance. It was a massacre...”

“I-I had a Weedle,” one pointed out. “I named him Mr. Weddle.”

“We were no match for his awesome power!”

“But why were you all standing out here in the wilderness if all you had were Metapods?”

One shrugged and then fell over into a ditch. “We’re bug catchers. We’re supposed to just stand out here and let guys battle us even though we don’t have Pokémon with any offensive moves.”

“Metapod used Harden!” Rahul laughed, and then raised his hand to high five Alex, but Alex didn’t return the gesture because he was too busy not paying attention.

“Don’t worry,” Ryan said, feeling his Poké Balls in his backpack. “I’ve got a great team of Pokémon! I’ll find this Dragonrider and take him out!”

“Bless your sole, wee lad,” said a tiny bug catcher lying in a puddle who could have been no older than thirty-five. “Godspeed and thanks for all the fish.”

Alas, Ryan had not a Magikarp to give. With that, all of the bug catchers fell over again in exhaustion and defeat. Ryan noticed a Spearow sitting on a rock nearby. Annoyed, the teal-haired boy threw a rock at the bird, causing it to squawk and fly off into the forest.

Dr. Kaku came trotting by then, and suddenly shot off his Growlithe like a bullet into the tall grass. A Caterpie rose up and screeched as if it was going to attack him, causing Michio to run screaming back to his Growlithe. The loyal Growlithe easily took care of the Caterpie with a breath of flame. Once he was back on his Growlithe, Michio Kaku held up a little piece of candy in a blue wrapper. “Rare candy,” he laughed. “Bottoms up!”

With that, Dr. Kaku ate the rare candy. A white light seemed to encapsulate him, and he began to rise in the air for a second. And then, the good doctor descended from the heavens back down onto his Growlithe. “Yes,” he began, “this is most fortuitous. Einstein once called rare candy the lowest octave of the symphony of String Theory. Ah yes, that appears to be correct. I will have to travel to the nearest black hole to tell him.”

“Look old man, can’t you just lead us through this forest or not?” Kelly asked him, stomping her foot. “I don’t have time for your cockamamie nonsense.”

“Auahaha! The cookie people are coming for me!” Dr. Kaku nearly fell of his Growlithe again, but his Pokémon, apparently well-aware of Michio’s penchant for falling off of him, caught him at the last second. With that, Michio Kaku laughed. “I almost found dark energy once when I was in the Baja.”

“Who said… the Baja?” asked a cool voice. At once, a large bald man with the remnants of blond hair trailing down the back of his scalp jumped out from behind a tree. “I used to live down in the Baja, not a computer within twenty miles of me. That way the government couldn’t track me, see. I was a governor, a fighter, a Navy SEAL, and I still wasn’t allowed to have a computer! Jet fuel can’t melt steel beams.”

“Ah yes,” Michio Kaku replied with a smile. “Jet fuel can’t melt steel beams. That is indeed true.”

“It’s a conspiracy. The HAARP system is trying to take us over with mind control! Mind control!” the man replied.

“What the heck is going on?!” Kelly shouted, causing the very trees around to shake. Pidgeys took the sky, and Kakunas began to evolve into Beedrills so mighty was Kelly’s scream. It made Ryan feel good in the pit of his stomach to see her do that. “I just want to get to Viridian City!!!”

“Heh, whoa, hold on there kiddo,” the bald man said, rubbing his black leather jacket with one of his hands. “I’m the governor, Jesse Ventura, and I know a thing or two about conspiracies. The dragonrider is a Pokémon conspiracy,” he explained. “And I’ve tracked him to this forest. Like the bigfoot or the yeti or the Baja Bobo, he is a mythical creature.”

“Ah, but the Dragonrider is a mere Pokémon trainer,” said Dr. Kaku. “Everything you say is wrong.”

“Nonsense!” grumbled Jesse. “I was a former Pokémon SEAL. Ha! I should know. Are you going to tell me that there’s a dragon Pokémon? Ha! Think again. There’s no such thing. Whoever this Dragonrider is, I’m sure he’s using thermite paint to beat up on these poor helpless people,” Jesse “The Body” Ventura replied, pointing at the hapless bug catchers. “It’s an inside job!”

“Please,” Michio Kaku laughed. “Thermite paint is just the wallpaper of the new computer technology that will let you put anything you want on your cyber walls in 10-15 years with no repercussions. If you want to throw spaghetti at the walls, now you can with virtual spaghetti on your computer wallpaper! What is really intriguing is that the positrional force of these walls will release anti-neutrinos for Poké Harvesting,” the theoretical theorist explained. “What an age to live in!”

“It’s a conspiracy! I’m going to find that Dragonrider! I bet it’s a government drone! I’d bet my tv show on it.”

“Actually… it was a kid with brown hair and green eyes riding on a dragon,” one of the bug catchers replied, but Jesse “The Body” Ventura didn’t have time for that jive turkey.

“Be sure to eat any rare candy you come upon,” Dr. Kaku advised Jesse. “You will need several bushels of them.”

Jesse just brushed him off and ran into the bushes. However, as he got to the bushes, he grabbed a random berry and ate it right then and there, perhaps assuming it was a rare candy. The man proceeded to make a sour face, as if he had just swallowed a salty penny, and then ran off in embarrassment.

“Ah, it looks like the tall American man ate a poisonous berry,” Dr. Kaku said. “Very good. He will most certainly die within 48 hours. Now let’s get to Viridian City.”

“Yeah, and let’s find this Dragonrider!” Ryan replied. “Maybe if I beat him, I can have his dragon. I’ve always wanted a dragon!”

“Idiot, you can’t steal someone else’s Pokémon,” Kelly replied. “Besides, when your Dragonair evolves, it’ll be a Dragonite, and Dragonite is a Dragon-type Pokémon.”

Ryan blushed. “Yeah… I knew that!”

From Ryan’s pocket, his Pokédex said, “Not true master, I have never told you that before, and anything I have not told you, you do not know.”

“Shut up, Dexy!” Ryan whispered, hoping that Kelly hadn’t heard the errant device babbling. She didn’t appear to.

The rest of the trip through Viridian Forest went with little incident. One time, Ryan thought he saw a boy in a Samurai outfit running about with a Pinsir chasing him, but perhaps that was merely a mirage. At one point, Rahul woke a hive of Beedrills when he complained about not getting powdered sugar for his breakfast pancakes. At that point, Ryan and Kelly had sent forth their fire Pokémon to quell the tide. Ryan was very satisfied with Aegon the Charmeleon for cooking up all of those Beedrills to a crisp (Rahul had complained that the burning of the Beedrills had roused a hunger in him for some fried chicken, and he had no fried chicken) and he was glad Matata wasn’t around to see such devastation. At the conclusion of the fight, however, Aegon had refused to go back in his ball, seemingly angry that Abra got to stay out of his Poké Ball (the sweet lad was perched on Ryan’s shoulder like a pirate’s parrot), so Ryan was forced to leave his disloyal Charmeleon out.

“Fine,” he said. “But don’t do anything bad and don’t set the forest on fire.”

“Yes, we are a type 0 society,” Dr. Kaku said, “because we can only harvest energy from dead plants such as these.”

“I want to harvest your brain for Rahul,” Alex said so quietly that Ryan barely heard him.

And even our blue-haired protagonist had to laugh at that.


There was no sign of the Dragonrider, and indeed, no sign of Jesse Ventura for the rest of the trip. Ryan had tried catching a Caterpie, since he wanted a Butterfree, but Alex had advised him against it, since Butterfree is a useless Pokémon. As they came to the edge of the forest, the sprawling expanse of Viridian City came into view.

“Finally!” Kelly shouted, dropping to her knees. There seemed to be tears in her eyes. “I thought we’d never make it after all that nonsense before.”

“Never fear,” said Michio Kaku. “If I travel at nearly the speed of light, I will age less than you. On the next trip to Viridian City, I will go so fast, I will age only a few minutes, while you will age several years,” he said with a long smile. “Ah that would be wonderful. And if we took the trip enough times you would eventually be older than me. I am looking forward to that day when you are even older than me.”

“Dude, shut up. You’re as uncool as Saint Elmo’s fire!” Kelly yelled. “Now that we’re here, you need to go back to wherever you came from. I don’t want you following us anymore.”

“Uahahahahaahah, don’t hit me with a brick!” Michio Kaku screamed, nearly falling off his Growlithe.

But instead of responding, Kelly walked furiously off towards the city. This puzzled Ryan, and he noticed that Alex and Rahul were also standing there with wide eyes.

He turned to his Pokémon. “What do you think guys? Should we leave Dr. Kaku here?”

“Meleon,” Aegon hissed, breathing a wisp of flames. He crossed his arms and looked away from Ryan.

“Dang, he’s giving me the sass mouth!” Ryan despaired. “Abra, help!”

“Bra.”

“You too, huh?”

“Rah.”

“Dang.” Ryan looked at the other two boys. “Well I guess we should go then.”

“Yeah, let’s go,” Alex said gruffly.

“To Viridian City!” said Rahul heroically, holding up his Doctor Who screwdriver. “Never cruel nor cowardly, never give up, never give in! I will lead us to safety!”

And thus the three boys ran off after Kelly.

Behind them, Dr. Michio Kaku watched them. “Don’t forget… jet fuel can’t melt steel beams. Oh, no, no, no. But, it can loosen up the metal just enough to make the building collapse. Ah yes, I am a genius. Now let’s go find that Alien Superstructure I saw before. Come on, Lil Jimmy, let’s go!”

Pity Jesse the Ventriloquist wasn’t there to hear him. With that, Dr. Kaku spurred his Growlithe around and the two raced off into Viridian Forest at near light speed, where many powerful monsters (levels 4-6) awaited them.


Alex had gone home to fulfill his destiny to do the dishes. Rahul was out looking for food and Doctor Who DVDs and girls (and perhaps not in that order). That left just Ryan and Kelly alone in the streets of Viridian City.

It was evening in Viridian City, and the activity of the people in it was rather muted, with few people still out and about. The two stood in front of the city’s Gym, its great imposing archway looking down upon them like the small creatures they were. Neither spoke for a long time.

“Don’t you want to train your Pokémon some more before going in?” Ryan asked her, finally breaking the silence. Abra was on his shoulder, and Charmeleon was holding his hand like a little lost child. “Come on, just a few more days of training!”

“No, I think I’m ready,” Kelly replied. She shrugged, “And even if I lose, I can train my Pokémon afterwards.”

“Yeah, I guess.”

Kelly turned to Ryan, who bowed his head so as to not look her in the eyes. “You’re an inexperienced trainer, Ryan.” She touched his shoulder. “But, you’ll get better. And I’m sure when we meet again in the Indigo League Tournament, you’ll be a real match for me.” He did not respond. The pink-haired girl removed her hand from his shoulder. “You better hurry and get those last five badges. Time’s running out.” He nodded, but still kept his eyes trained on the floor. “Okay then, well I guess I better get going. See ya later!”

“Yeah, see you…”

Ryan turned away and closed his eyes. He bit his lip.

“Oh and Ryan,” Kelly’s voice called from behind him.

“Yeah?”

“It wasn’t that bad traveling with you. Really, I had fun,” she said. Ryan turned and met her eyes. They looked like painted roses in the light of the dying sun. “When this is all over, let’s go on another adventure together, okay?”

“Yeah… sounds good…” Ryan replied. He felt numb, his voice sounded small, and he didn’t know what else to say.

There was nothing else he could have said, though, for at that moment, Kelly turned back around and strode confidently into the Viridian City Gym, a Poké Ball already in her hand. She’s ready to win, he thought as he watched her go. I wish I was too.

“Come on guys, let’s go,” the blue-haired boy mumbled to his Abra and Charmeleon.

Abra, nearly asleep on Ryan’s shoulder let out a sleepy, “Abra!” Ryan gave him a good couple scratches behind the ear for that one.

“Charmeleon Leon meeeeel!” Aegon protested. He tried to shake off Ryan’s hand and run off, but Ryan held on firmly.

“Whoa now, boy, don’t you leave me too! Come on, let’s go!” And when Charmeleon simply growled and didn’t budge, Ryan took out Aegon’s Poké Ball and held it in front of his snout. “If you don’t want to go back inside, you better listen to me, Aegon!”

And that, it seemed, did the trick, for fear danced across Aegon’s eyes like flames of wildfire, and he decided that he would rather obey his master than go back in the Poké Ball. So off they went, together, Ryan and two of his favorite buddies, and nothing was the matter, no sir.

Later, Ryan reunited with Rahul and Alex, who were intent on setting out for Pewter City, the location of the next gym, that very night. He couldn’t object. He didn’t want to stay in Viridian City a moment longer. Not until I’m ready to fight this city’s Gym Leader.

So after they healed their Pokémon at the local Pokémon Center and bought some goodies from the local Poké Mart (Ryan bought some Kiwis, while Rahul bought some deep fried cupcakes and unsuccessfully tried to hit on the cashier (he tried to impress her by telling her he was a brony, which didn’t impress her at all), and Alex, the poor bloke (cuz he’s gonna be a teacher when he grows up) couldn’t afford to buy a single thing). Then, they packed their bags and headed out towards Pewter City.

“So Kelly’s gone?” Rahul asked.

“Yep,” Ryan replied.

“Well at least we can move faster now,” Alex grunted. “Since she’s a girl.”

Ryan tugged on Aegon’s hand and led him forward to the edge of the city, Alex and Rahul not far behind. There, they witnessed a most peculiar sight.

Out from the forest behind the road, a boy with brown hair, green eyes, and a white shirt came strolling out on the back of a magnificent Porygon, as noble as any destrier Ryan had ever beheld at Summerhall in his youth. The other boy did not at first notice the three travelers, and as he dismounted, he spoke with cool wit:

“Nice work, Dragonmaster. We got those fakers.”

“Dragonmaster?!” Ryan suddenly shouted. The other boy looked up and they locked eyes. Ryan instantly remembered him as Charlie - the boy he met in the Pallet Town Diner not but a few chapters before. “You!” he shouted, running forward, Aegon mercilessly in tow. “You’re the one who defeated all of those bug catchers! You’re the Dragonrider!”

The boy just smirked and raised his arm in the air before dabbing with magnificent grace. It was like he had just lost the final round of a debate tournament or something.

Before Charlie could speak, however, another person emerged from the bushes. Nay, it was no bandit nor any wild Pokémon spoiling for a hopeless fight. It was, in fact, the balding former governor of Minnesota, who was also once a professional wrestler. In all black he stood, his meager strands of hair connected to the back of his scalp waving in the breeze. There he was: Jesse Ventura - the governor, the fighter, the Navy SEAL.

“I’ve found you, Dragonrider!” he screamed, his eyes two beady flecks of tar, his mouth foaming like someone had just poured hydrogen peroxide down Rosie O’Donnell’s throat. “Now you’re mine.”

“I have no idea what you’re talking about,” the brown-haired boy said, taking a step back. Ryan realized that Charlie no longer had an accent, which was strange, since the last time they had met, he had been sure the kid had had a southern twang to his speech. Maybe he lost his accent, though. Those are easy to lose.

“I was a governor, a fighter, a Navy SEAL,” Jesse said. “And I know you’re part of the conspiracy, man. That dragon of yours is covered in thermite paint!”

“Yeah, I painted him myself,” Charlie replied, looking at Dragonmaster. “Do you like how he looks?”

“He could blow at any moment! He could bring the towers down!” Jesse looked horrified. “Think I won’t deal with this? I’m a former governor! It’s my duty to protect the innocent! Give me your dragon. Are you really gonna refuse a former governor?”

“Yeah… man, I’m not doing that.”

“Then it’s a battle!” Jesse took a Poké Ball off of his belt. “And this former Navy SEAL ain’t laying down so easily. If you think your mind control’s gonna work on a former fighter, heh, think again!”

“Alright dude, whatever,” Charlie replied nonchalantly. “Let’s destroy this guy, Dragonmaster.”

“What did we just walk into?” Ryan asked the others.

“I don’t know, but whatever it is, it isn’t good. That kid could be a real problem,” Alex grunted.

“Whoo, go Dragonmaster!” screamed Rahul, waving a chicken wing to the sky.

And so, a great battle, perhaps not as great as the battle between Rahul and Alex, but still pretty great, began. This fight would decide the fate of the universe and Jesse’s quest to find the thermite paint. As Michio Kaku would say, “Our grandkids will lead the lives of the gods of mythology. Zeus could think and move objects around. We'll have that power. Venus had a perfect, timeless body. We'll have that, too. Pegasus was a flying horse. We'll be able to modify life in the future.” I don’t know what he was smoking, but I want some of it. It’s a shame he wasn’t here to give us any.

Episode 16: The Chapter with a Bunch of Foreshadowing

“I was a fighter, a governor, a NAVY seal!” Jesse Ventura declared randomly as he threw his Poké Ball. Out from it popped a Primeape, ready for battle. It was squat and round like a cheese puff, and Ryan thought it reminded him of Jesse himself, minus, of course, the hair. Poor Jesse had but a few tattered strands of blond hair growing out of the back of his head like bleached moss.

“Yeah mayne,” Charlie responded. “I think Poké Smash is the best game ever.”

“Oh, okay. He’s not lame,” whispered Alex, to himself. “Poké Smash is the best game ever and no one can have any other opinion about it.”

Charlie threw his Poké Ball, and out from it sprung a new Pokémon - not his Dragonmaster, but another, more noble Pokémon: it was Farfetch’d, the simplest, most excellent Pokémon in the whole world. Seeing it brought a tear to Ryan’s eye; he had never seen such a beautiful beast before. In its hand, it held a leek, and that got Rahul’s stomach a-rumbling. He clapped his hands furiously, and out from the bushes came two women running frantically. They each held a plate of crisp-tender roast duck with cherry-rosemary sauce. Rahul began to dig into the plates without even a plastic fork, so hungry was he. Cherry-rosemary sauce went flying in all directions, and Alex and Ryan had to run away from him to get out of the blast radius. Once they were clear, Ryan pulled out lil Dexy and pointed it at Charlie’s Pokémon.

“Farfetch’d, the Wild Duck Pokémon,” Ryan’s Pokédex stated. “Lives where reedy plants grow. They are rarely seen, so it's thought their numbers are decreasing. It is the Pokémon all gentlemen and scholars use in battle.” Ryan was in awe. He thought he was a gentleman (though he had no idea what a scholar was). He wanted such an amazing Pokémon for himself. Alas, that would mean going out into the tall grass to try to find one, and such a task seemed so tedious that Ryan nearly fell over right then and there.

“Bulk up, now!” roared Jesse, who was not listening. His hair waved about like it was seaweed in a hurricane.

Primeape obeyed and his began to bounce around like a popcorn kernel in the microwave. When he was done, Primeape stood a wee bit taller and a good deal thicker - his muscles were as thick as Rahul’s neck, almost. He looked like a fearsome beast. Ryan pointed his Pokédex at this Pokémon, and Dex droned: “Primape, the Pig Monkey Pokémon. It stops being angry only when nobody else is around. To view this moment is very difficult.”

Charlie smirked. “Swords dance, Annihilator!”

“Heh, well I’ll tell ya, it’s time for a Hyper Beam, eh?” Jesse thundered. His Primeape grunted and then shot its Hyper Beam at the Farfetch’d. Luckily for the readers, of whom the old Zerg is king, this attack missed.

“Alright man, whatever you want,” Charlie responded, a look of annoyance clear on his face. “But if you won’t respect the sanctity of a Farfetch’d Swords Dance setup…”

“Ha!” Jesse bellowed. “I know that’s just another HAARP conspiracy! They’re controlling the weather man. Mind control! Think again, ha!”

“Yeah, that sounds great,” Charlie said. “Jet fuel can’t melt steel beams. I learned that in my biological anthropology class.”

This declaration shocked Jesse to his core. He began to shake like a willow tree with Parkinson’s. Then, he began to grunt and howl like a feral Ponyta in heat. Primeape took this as his instruction to shoot another Hyper Beam. This time, the attack missed again and hit a nearby tree, causing it to burst into flames. Ryan, and Alex had to fling themselves out of the way, hailing curses and breadcrumbs at the Primeape who had as poor an aim as a stormtrooper in A New Hope. Rahul, meanwhile, did not move, for he was busy eating. No matter how loudly Alex and Ryan tried to yell at him, he did not look up. It appeared like he was ignoring them, but he was really probably just in a food frenzy. Ryan scowled and pulled out his Poké Ball with Thurnax in it.

Throwing the ball, Ryan shouted, “Thurnax, use surf!”

Ryan’s Dragonair was a good, loyal Pokémon, and she rode that wave right into the forest, putting the fire right out.

Ryan and Alex ran over to Rahul. “Yo, Rahul, why didn’t you move? There was a fire!”

Rahul looked up, his face and wifebeater covered in dark sauce, his beady little eyes shining like black diamonds. “Oh, I didn’t hear you,” he said with a shrug, and then went back to eating.

Up ahead, the battle continued. “Swords Dance,” shouted Charlie, proudly.

He was not going to give into Jesse’s insanity. He was going to maintain his honor. Farfetch’d, being the noble, simple Pokémon it is, could break under such pressure. This Charlie knew, and this Alex, who was watching with the intensity of a dude who once locked himself out of his own dorm room, knew too.

“The government did 911,” Jesse said, trying to break Charlie’s will, but that just made the boy in the white t-shirt laugh and nod his head.

Professor Chris Mercer, who is my teacher and decided to spend half of our last class showing us a 911 conspiracy video for no other reason than to show that he’s clinically insane, suddenly burst out of the bushes and gave two thumbs up. This comforted Jesse “the body” Ventura, and he was able to regain his composure. “Do another Hyper Beam. And, heh, I’ll tell ya, if this one misses too, Lyndon Johnson definitely killed JFK.”

The Hyper Beam missed.

“I knew it,” Charlie declared. “The second shooter at the grassy knoll definitely wasn’t your Primeape, mayne.”

‘Why, I otta…” Jesse stammered. “Heh, alright. I was a fighter, a governor, a NAVY seal. Come on, Primeape, Hyper Beam this stupid bird back to the Bilderberg secret underground headquarters!”

“Swords Dance,” Charlie responded, calmly.

The Hyper Beam missed again. It was so shocking that Rahul squealed like a stuck pig.

“Okay, Annihilator, it’s time for a Fly attack,” Charlie shouted.

“Wait, I gotta get another Hyper Beam in here,” Jesse protested. But it was too late. The next Hyper Beam missed, and the Farfetch’d took to the air, cawing and screaming and flying so very high.

“Man, that’s a brave bird,” Ryan said to himself. “I bet he’s as high as a kite by now.”

Rahul wiped his fingers on his wifebeater and raised his Sonic Screwdriver to the sky. “This is almost as epic as Doctor Who Season 7 Episode 14!”

“Gruhh, do one last Hyper Beam, I’ll tell ya!” Jesse hollered in desperation.

Then, Farfetch’d came flying down again. And before Jesse could so much as yell “the government!”, Farfetch’d crashed into Primeape, knocking it unconscious in one fell swoop. The furry Pokémon fell to the ground, dazed, causing Jesse to recall it. “Dang government trying control our minds,” Jesse protested. “Heh, alright, let’s see how you deal with this. This guy’s a fighter just like me!” Jesse “the body” Ventura spat proudly. He flung another Poké Ball, and out from it came a Sandslash.

Charlie was unimpressed. “Fly!” he shouted.

Farfetch’d, thus undamaged, and nobler for his beautiful setup, began to soar into the sky. This time, he flew so close to Jesse as he went that the former governor got spooked and ran off into the forest.

“I’m off the grid!” Jesse screamed. “No internet out here, no way man. The government can’t track me now! I live in the Baja! Ah, the Baja! Get your drones away from me! I’m not ready to die! I ain’t got time to bleed!”

Annihilator kept on his path towards the Sandslash, who began to tremble as it saw the opponent approach. Jesse saw this and wet himself. Streams of water flowed down his dark jeans and into the soil below, watering the parched ground of the Viridian Forest with the official release of a former governor, fighter, and NAVY seal. Jesse grunted and slapped his stomach. “I went off the grid so that the drones wouldn’t watch me! They can’t catch me! Not if they can’t see me, ha!”

And with that, Jesse Ventura, the puissant man who once pretended he was a NAVY seal, disappeared into Viridian Forest, never to be seen again. His poor Sandslash was left to stand there, without anyone having told him what move to do. So he did nothing.

Annihilator crashed into the Sandslash, knocking it over and dazing both of them. With no longer a master to guide him, the Sandslash ran over to the nearest tree and began to cower behind it.

“Hey!” Ryan said, running up to the Pokémon. “You can’t just leave your Pokémon here!” he shouted into the forest. There was no response. The drone, better known as the noble and honorable Annihilator, seemed to have scared off Jesse. Alas, his Sandslash had been left behind. When it saw Ryan, it recoiled, expecting another blow to come down upon it.

Rahul and Alex came running over too. “Hey, did that guy seriously leave his Pokémon behind?” Rahul asked.

“That Farfetch’d must’ve really frightened him,” Alex answered.

“Yeah…” said Ryan, looking down at the injured Sandslash. “What kind of guy just leaves his Pokémon behind? That should never happen. Your Pokémon should be your buddies! You gotta take care of them, no matter what!”

“I think he was on some mind control,” Charlie pointed out, walking over to them. He stopped, glancing up at Alex, first. “Sup whiny-face.”

“Oh, okay,” Alex said, flustered. He almost busted out the yo-yos he was so confused.

Charlie continued walking until he came across Rahul. “Oh hey, mayne,” he said to the big man. “Nice goatee.”

“Never cruel nor cowardly. Never give up. Never give in!” Rahul said, almost in reflex.

“Haha, yeah, Doctor Who, I get it,” Charlie said. “Great show.”

And then he came upon Ryan, who stood over the injured Sandslash that had once belonged to Jesse Ventura. “I know you,” Ryan said, as Charlie came up to him. “You’re on those wanted posters. You defeated all those bug catchers, and you’re on the run! There’s a big reward for whoever catches you! Why don’t you just give yourself up?”

“Haha, good one!” Charlie smiled sarcastically and pointed at Ryan as if to acknowledge the latter’s keen awareness. “I’m sure you’re a great trainer. Catch me if you can.”

“Is that all you have to say?” asked Ryan. He was a bit flustered himself, but at the same time, he took a Poké Ball out of his pocket. Abra, who was perched on his shoulder, jeered at Charlie rambunctiously. Thurnax, who was still out of her Poké Ball, eyed the white-shirted trainer with suspicion and growled. “I’ll defeat you myself if I have to! You aren’t getting away again!”

“I’m sure you’re really good, but I’ve got a debate to get to. Bob Odenkirk is the judge, so I can’t miss this. He’s no David Cross, but he’s aight.” With that, Charlie jumped on Dragonmaster, his patient Porygon, who had been at his side the entire time. Within a heartbeat, the white-and-pink blur that was the two of them disappeared off into the forest, in the opposite direction that Jesse Ventura had gone.

“Curses,” Ryan shouted, raising his fist to the sky. “Debating nuclear proliferation doesn’t matter!”

“Alright,” said Alex. “Brb shower.” And thus, Alex too disappeared into the forest, though Ryan knew he would come back soon.

“So what should we do with this Sandslash?” Ryan asked Rahul.

Rahul shrugged. He wiped his hand on his sauce-crusted wifebeater. “We’re nearly to Pewter City, right? Let’s take him to the Pokémon Center and leave him there.”

Ryan scowled. “You’re just saying that because you want to see another Nurse Joy.”

Rahul’s face lit up like Snoop Dogg on Christmas Eve. “A-are… you serious?!” there was annoyance in his voice, and a grin upon his face. “Come on Ryan, don’t mess with my game. Seriously.”

“Alright Rahul, whatever you say,” Ryan conceded. He looked at Rahul’s goatee and noticed it was in fine form, and that was enough to make him acquiesce.

“Well, go on, catch it,” Rahul told him.

“No you.”

“Are you serious?!” Rahul said in that booming, droll voice of his. He thrust his hands into the air and shook his head violently.

“Fine.”

Ryan jumped back, took one of his father’s Ultra Balls out of his bag, ran his fingers through his hair, did a little spin move, and then threw the ball at Sandslash. “Gotta catch ‘em all! I wanna be the very best there ever was!”

That made Rahul start humming tunelessly to himself.

The Poké Ball went flying through the air like a Poké Ball in flight. It hit the Sandslash dead on the nose, causing it to fly back and scream in confusion. At once, a red light enveloped the creature and it was sucked into the ball. At that very moment, Rahul sprung forward, with a deliberate look on his face. He ran over to the Poké Ball and covered it in a clear liquid with a little tube he was holding in his hand. When he was done, Rahul stepped back grinning.

“Crazy glue,” he declared. “There’s no way that Sandslash is getting out.”

“But, uh, Rahul, how am I supposed to get it out when I want to?”

Rahul’s grin turned upside down and he began to mutter to himself. Though they had captured a Sandslash, formerly the leal servant of one Jesse Ventura, it appeared the Pokémon was well and truly trapped inside its Poké Ball. But that would be a problem for another episode, Ryan knew.

“I guess we should get going to Pewter City, right, buddy?” Ryan asked Abra, who was snoozing on his shoulder. The words brought Abra to conscious, and he seemed completely displeased with being thrust back into the real world.

“Abra, brah, brah!” Abra whined. “Abra!”

“Neeieieieie!” Thurnax squealed from Ryan’s side enthusiastically.

“Yeah!” Ryan said happily. “We’re off to Pewter City for my fourth badge!”

It had been a long time since Ryan had gotten his last badge - dare I say seven chapters, which in a story that is only 16 chapters long is quite the long time - but alas, it appeared like he was on a collision course with Pewter City, and nothing could stop that. Barring some miraculous turn of events, it appeared Ryan would indeed be getting his fourth Gym Badge quite soon. Rahul, who was a great trainer and an even greater guy, who only sometimes answered when you Facebook message him because I’m sure he’s very busy with many important things, had not a Pewter City badge either. So it was good fortune that the two were traveling together. It was their destiny, surely, to get this next badge before this chapter ends.


It was night when they reached the stony enclave known as Pewter City. The streets were abandoned, and a cool breeze was blowing through the town. Ryan, Alex, and Rahul strode in together, and looked around. Off into the distance, they could see the lights of the Pewter City Gym. Closer by was the Pokémon Center, which was also adorned in what appeared to be old Christmas lights. It was cold, and they all began to shiver. Clumps of snow lay around the buildings and on their roofs, and judging by the dark sky, it looked like it might snow again.

“We should find a place to sleep,” Alex said.

“Isn’t the gym still open?” Ryan asked.

Rahul frowned. “Let’s go see. Come on Alex, I don’t want to stay here. Look at this place - it’s all rocky and cold and miserable. Let’s get out of here as soon as we can.”

“Alright, whatever,” said Alex.

And so they went off, but as they passed by the Pokémon Center, Ryan told them he needed to tend to Jesse’s Sandslash.

“If the gym’s open, you go first, alright Rahul?” he said.

“Yeah, fine, fine,” Rahul replied, and off he went with Alex into the night.

Inside, Ryan was greeted by a Chansey who whisked him over to a Nurse Joy standing at the counter. The pink-haired woman looked a lot like a nurse Ryan had seen in another Pokémon Center. It was almost like they were sisters, the resemblance was so uncanny.

“May I help you?” she asked in a sweet voice.

“Yeah,” replied Ryan, fumbling for Sandslash’s Poké Ball in his bag. Nurse Joy continued to stare and smile at him, and that made Ryan’s ears go red. He thought she looked mighty pretty in that nurse outfit of hers… “Uh, yeah, here it is!” he said, a little too loudly.

Nurse Joy took the Poké Ball and tilted her head, a look of puzzlement clear upon her face. “Um, what is this stuff all over the ball?”

“Oh yeah, that’s crazy glue… my friend put it on. I-I was wondering if you could get it off for me.”

Nurse Joy giggled. “Of course, I’ll get one of our Chanseys on it at once!” She stood up straight and laughed, throwing the ball behind here, where a Chansey was waiting to catch it. “And is this your Pokémon, mister?”

“Nope,” said Ryan. “There was the old bald guy who it belonged to, but after he lost the battle he ran off without taking his Pokémon with him.”

“Oh no, that’s terrible! What kind of trainer would do that to his Pokémon?”

“I know… he doesn’t know it’s here, either, so I’m not sure what to do with it.”

“Well,” Nurse Joy began, “we’ll keep the Pokémon overnight, and if its owner shows up, we’ll give it back to them.”

“But what if he never comes?”

“Well… in that case, we’ll keep his Pokémon here until he does!”

Ryan looked down and thought of Thurnax, the Dragonair he had found abandoned. He wondered if her owner was out there looking for her even now. Probably not, he thought. Otherwise, they wouldn’t have abandoned Thurnax in the first place…

And yet, there was also Abra, Ryan’s first and favorite Pokémon. That had been his father’s Pokémon, one he had never asked his father if he could take. I wonder if dad’s mad about that. He didn’t know. I should call home and see what’s up… maybe after I get my next badge. Maybe if Dad hears I've gotten four badges, he'll be proud of me.

Ryan looked up at Nurse Joy and nodded goodbye, before walking out into the brisk night air. He knew Jesse would never come back for that Sandslash, and it would be forced to stay in that cramped little Poké Ball for years, at least. That was no way to live. On the one hand, he knew it wasn’t his Pokémon to take, but on the other…

“Huh, what was that?!” Ryan shouted, his voice echoing down the empty streets. His breath frosted the air. Above him, there was a pink light hovering distantly in the sky. It was so dark that not even the moon was out. A few lights in the town made things a little lighter, but still, it was nigh black as pitch. It made that floating pink light all the more apparent.

Ryan pointed his Pokédex at the light, thinking wildly that he might be seeing a Pokémon, though there was no Pokémon he knew of that could float and generate pink light. “There is no data,” the Pokédex replied. “No Pokémon is in range.”

“Huh? Then what is that thing?” Ryan watched the pink dot for a few more seconds. As he walked down the road to the Pewter City Gym, his eyes on the sky, Ryan saw the pink light suddenly fade away into nothing. Just like that it was gone. “Weird,” he said to himself. “I must be seeing things.”

Ryan passed by a building that a sign told him was called the “Pewter City Museum”. He found it somewhat odd that though the building had a “CLOSED” sign on its front door, there were still a few lights on in the second story. Even so, such a sight did not concern the trainer, and he continued on his walk.

As the teal-haired boy approached the Pewter City Gym, Ryan noticed an old man sitting on a nicely-polished slab of rock to his left. He had a long, spiky brown beard and wore a red beanie pulled so far down his face that the boy could not even see the man’s eyes. He sat in what appeared to be a meditation pose, and Ryan would have mistaken him for a statue had the man not spoken just then.

“"Pewter City is grey... the color of stone. This town has always been famous for stone.”

“Huh?!” Ryan jumped back in shock. “What are you talking about, old man?”

“The name's Flint. And I’m not that old.”

“Yeah, okay.”

“You goin’ in the gym?” Ryan nodded. “Don't tell me you plan on challenging Forrest, the Pewter City gym leader.”

"Of course I do!" Ryan's voice rang with confidence.

Flint began to laugh a flinty laugh. "Hahaha... you'll beat him? Hahaha… that’s a good one.”

Ryan’s face went red. “What’s the big deal? He’s just another gym leader. I’ve already beaten three of them!” He reached into his pocket and pulled out the little booklet he was keeping his Gym Badges in. “See?”

“Hahaha…” Flint continued to laugh quietly to himself. “You’re confident now, but just wait until Forrest beats your Pikachu. Then you’ll come crawling back to me and beg me to help you.”

“What are you talking about? I don’t have a Pikachu.”

At that Flint stood up straight and grimaced. “O-oh… in that case, well you can go on in.” He then reached for something and produced a small rock with a pricetag on it. “By the way, do you want to buy any of my merchandise?”

“You sell rocks?” Ryan’s eyes narrowed in disbelief.

“They’re Pewter City souvenirs. Wanna buy some?”

“Uh, no thanks, man!” Ryan said, before running off into the Pewter City Gym. “Man that guy was weird!” he whispered to himself as he ran. “This whole place is creepy. Rahul was right. We should get out of here as soon as we can!”

And with that, Ryan went sprinting to the Pewter City Gym, where Rahul was surely battling Forrest for a Boulder Badge. And soon, Ryan knew, so would he.

Episode 17: Now She's In Me

The big man’s Lapras stood on the rocky floor of the Pewter City Gym, cool and confident. It was a dim place, the air dusty and brown-tinted; rocks were strewn across the ground in a sort of obstacle maze that Ryan found himself forced to navigate. Still, it was not a hard puzzle, and he realized that simply following the path through the rocks on either side was enough to bring him to his destination.

Ryan could barely make out the visage of the Gym Leader from this far away - all he could see was a brown, spiky-haired man with a green striped shirt and blue jeans. They were already at battle - Lapras was facing off against an Onix. Just when Ryan came into the warm, low-lit building, he heard Rahul shout, “Surf!”, and Lapras exploded onto a wave of water, shooting itself at the Onix. The Gym Leader’s Onix was hit fully by the attack and fell backwards, unconscious. Then, the Gym Leader returned his Pokémon, and yelled.

“Well done. You have defeated me. I guess that means you deserve a Boulder Badge.”

Rahul whooped and danced around like Stephen Hawking at a disco party. Ryan clenched his fists. If he can get one of those badges so easily, I should be able to too! He used a water Pokémon, and a water move… The boy glanced down at his bag, looking at the six Poké Balls within. Now, who do I use, he thought. I know! Cloyster! Ryan grabbed the ball holding his Cloyster and brought it out. In the other hand, he produced his Pokédex and pointed it at the ball.

“Alright Dex, tell me what moves Myrrah knows.”

“Myrrah the Cloyster knows the following moves: Withdraw, Supersonic, Clamp, Aurora Beam.”

“Are any of those water type moves?” the teal-haired boy asked.

“Clamp is a water move.”

“Perfect.”

Ryan stepped forward, ready to challenge the Pewter City Gym Leader, when suddenly from behind a boulder, a little kid lunged out. He threw his Poké Ball at his feet and then screamed:

“I’m a Jr. Trainer, let’s fight!”

Ryan was unimpressed. “I’m here for the Gym Badge. I don’t want to fight you.”

“Too bad, I already saw you! That’s all it takes!”

The boy sighed and fingered his Poké Ball containing Myrrah. Noticing that the Jr. Trainer had let out a Diglett, he wasn’t all that worried. “Fine. But this is an entirely pointless battle.”

“No way, I’m a Jr. Trainer! I’m in the gym! I’m important!”

Myrrah took out the Diglett with a single Clamp, causing Ryan’s opponent to cry out in anguish, as if he had just been hit by a bus. He threw a second Poké Ball, but Ryan left his Cloyster out. “It’s going to be another ground Pokémon,” he told Myrrah. “It’s definitely a theme. Clamp the heck out of whatever it is!”

And so she did. The poor Sandshrew the Jr. Trainer let out was immediately tackled by Myrrah, wrapped up in her shell, and clamped pretty hard. The whole battle lasted about ten seconds. Once it was over, the Jr. Trainer fell over and started crying. “But I’m supposed to be the best! I’m in the Gym! I’m Forrest’s second-hand man!”

“What’s your name, kid?” Ryan asked him, returning Myrrah to her Poké Ball.

“I’m Jr. Trainer!” the other responded, his face red with sorrow and humiliation.

“See, that’s your problem,” the boy observed. “I don’t know why your mother named you that, but it was a pretty accurate name.”

Leaving the crying Jr. Trainer behind, Ryan moved forward to the gym fighting platform, where Rahul and Alex stood, the former being congratulated by a man with closed eyes, whom Ryan knew to be the Gym Leader.

“Nice work, buddy!” Ryan said, enthusiastically. He came over and patted Rahul on the shoulder, causing the larger boy to grunt in pleasure. “Only four more to go!”

“Yeah,” Rahul stroked his goatee. “Let’s get out of here.”

“Wait, I’ve still gotta get my badge!”

“Oh, right.”

“Stand back and watch the magic,” Ryan said, cocksure as a midget on the yellow brick road. “This won’t take long.”

“Hello,” said the man standing across from the group. “I'm Forrest.”

“Nice to meet you,” Ryan replied with a little bow. “I’m Ryan. I’m here to beat you!”

Forrest nodded curtly. “I'm Pewter's Gym Leader! I believe in rock hard defense and determination! That's why my Pokémon are all the Rock-type! Do you still want to challenge me?”

“Yeah, sure.”

“Fine then! Show me your best!”

Forrest threw a Poké Ball, and out from it popped a measly Geodude. Ryan almost laughed as he threw Myrrah’s Poké Ball. It doesn’t seem fair, he thought. But I guess that’s what I get for challenging some of the harder gyms first.

“Geodude, Tackle attack!”

Ryan stepped back and smiled. “Clamp it up, y’all!.”

His Cloyster nodded in obedience and then thrust itself forward, using its superior speed to catch the Geodude in midair. Before Forrest’s Pokémon could use its attack, Myrrah clamped down on it and knocked it unconscious.

“Impressive,” Forrest said. “Return, Geodude. Go, Onix!”

“Use an Aurora Beam this time,” Ryan commanded his Cloyster.

She did so without pause; in a brilliant flash of light, Myrrah’s beam hit Forrest’s Onix, sending it flying back into a nearby collection of rocks, strewn on the edge of the fighting pad. Seeing this, Forrest sighed, and then spoke:

“Return, Onix.”

“Return, Myrrah.”

Forrest smiled and stepped forward, reaching for something in his pocket. “I took you for granted. As proof of your victory, here's the Boulder Badge!”

Ryan beamed, did a little jump, and punched the sky. “Yeah man, I’m invincible!”

“I’m guessing this isn’t your first badge,” Forrest said. “Usually, trainers who come to face me have just begun their journeys.”

Ryan went a little red. “Y-yeah… well, I live on the other side of Kanto, so I may have already tried out a few other gyms!”

Forrest nodded. “You’re not a bad trainer, Ryan. Just make sure that you don’t get overconfident, so you don’t let yourself get outsmarted on the battlefield. Always remember that your opponents can defeat you; this will be more apparent once you fight against trainers who have similarly-leveled Pokémon. But good match nonetheless.”

“Alright,” the boy said, putting his new shiny Boulder Badge in the little booklet with his Volcano Badge, Soul Badge, and Thunder Badge. “Whatever you say! I’m the winner! I’m the winner! Whoo!!”

Forrest laughed, in spite of himself, but he never opened his eyes. Ryan had no idea why that was. Regardless, now that the Gym battles were over, Ryan and the others decided to run out of the rocky, poorly-lit place, their hearts light and their minds full of thoughts about how great they were.

Outside, they were met with a cold blast of reality; it was snowing, and snowing hard.

“Man, we’ll never be able to travel in this!” Ryan complained.

“Alright, let’s find a place to spend the night. You guys received some money for beating Forrest, so that shouldn’t be a problem.” Ryan and Rahul nodded. “And it’s getting late. Those dishes won’t wash themselves,” he said, more to himself than to the others.

So off the three went, into the blizzard, to find a nice, and hopefully cheap, place to spend the night.


The wind was rising. Ryan could hear it beating against the room of their motel. It was a shabby, dirty place they were staying in. In this bleak town, Ryan guessed there were few travelers who stayed more than a day, so these old rooms had probably not been cleaned in a long time. He noticed a layer of dust, nearly half an inch thick, coating the nearby dresser. He glanced over at the telephone, hanging on the nearby wall (which was a thin layer of pink-and-white patterned paper that was beginning to peel off and yellow) and bit his lip, remembering the message he had left for his parents. Hi mom, it’s me, Ryan. Just wanted to let you know that I won my fourth badge today. I’m making great progress! Hopefully I’ll be able to take part in the Indigo League Tournament this year. I hope you and dad are doing good and can come see me fight. That would be awesome. Anyways, I’m off to Cerulean City. I’ll call again after I get my next badge. There had been no answer. It was late, but not that late - only 8:30 pm. He would expect them to still be up at that time. Maybe they went to sleep early. That’s why there was no answer.

Rahul was lying back in bed, engorging himself on a cheese pizza he had ordered from room service and watching the television. On it, two Pokémon trainers were battling - one had a Rhydon, and the other a Nidoking. Ryan became enthralled with the battle too, and soon, the two trainers were shouting just as loudly as the crowd surrounding the two Pokémon and their owners (Ryan rooted for Nidoking, while Rahul of course rooted for Rhydon). I want to be like that one day, Ryan thought. I want the whole world to cheer me on. Right now, he would settle for his parents showing up to his first battle in the Indigo League.

Alex suddenly appeared, wearing a white apron and yellow rubber gloves, and sat down on the edge of the bed. After a few seconds of watching the battle, he stood up and walked away in annoyance. “There is literally no reason for Nidoking to use Poison Sting,” he said. “These two don’t know what they’re doing. And the crowd is just as ignorant.”

“What moveset would you give Nidoking?” Ryan asked him.

“Earthquake, Blizzard, Thunder, Body Slam,” the dishwasher replied instantly.

Rahul rolled his head around, grinning in disbelief. “Come on, Alex! Those are all TMs.”

“Yeah, well that’s the optimal moveset for Nidoking.”

“I know, but still…” Rahul laughed, shaking his head. “Can’t we just enjoy this? All I want to see is a bunch of mindless fights, and it doesn’t matter if it makes sense! I just want to be entertained.”

“Do you know the best moves for all Pokémon?” Ryan asked Alex.

Alex shrugged. “I’ve got a book I’m working on,” he said, pointing to his backpack, which was slung around a nearby chair. “I’ve been theorizing about the best movesets for all Pokémon, as well as which Pokémon are the best for competitive battling. But it’s not complete. Not yet. I still have a lot more traveling to do, and a lot more Pokémon to study.”

“Aw, can you tell me which moves I should give my Pokémon?”

Alex took off his rubber gloves and sat down in a chair to eat a cookie he had found on a plate. “In the morning, maybe. First you have to come up with your six-Pokémon team. No use coming up for moves for Pokémon that won’t get you anywhere in the Indigo League.”

“Quiet!” Rahul roared, as the Rhydon and Nidoking continued to battle it out on TV. “I want to see who wins.”

Alex shrugged, and Ryan got up, slinking over to the table where Alex sat. “What should my team be?”

“There’s no perfect team,” Alex replied nonchalantly, nibbling on his cookie. Ryan noticed it was a raisin cookie and nearly vomited. “Why don’t you tell me what you have right now.”

“Uh… well, I’ve got a Charmeleon, a Dragonair, a Cloyster… a Tauros that some guy gave me, a Golduck, oh and my Abra! And I have a Beedrill and either a Nidorino or a Nidorina in storage.”

“Those last two are useless,” Alex said unmercifully. “Cloyster, Tauros, and Abra are all good. Of course you still need to level them up some more, especially Abra. He needs to have evolved into an Alakazam by the time you get to the Indigo League if you want to use him there. Charmeleon and Dragonair might be usable if you level them up, too.”

“What other Pokémon should I catch?” Ryan’s voice was filled with awe. He had never thought about his final team for the Indigo League, but now he was getting excited. Especially if he had someone as smart as Alex helping him, he knew he might be able to get pretty far in the tournament.

Alex reached into his backpack and took out his book. Thumbing through it, he stopped on a page and pointed to a list of Pokémon. “Exeggutor, Gengar, Rhydon or Golem, Starmie, Chansey, and Snorlax are all good choices. If you don’t plan on using your Charizard and Dragonite, once they evolve, you should use three Pokémon from that list.”

“Well, I do like Aegon and Thurnax,” Ryan said. “But I would like a Gengar. I always thought that was one of the coolest Pokémon since I was a kid!”

“Alright,” Alex said. “If you can find a Haunter, definitely catch it. You may want to consider another Pokémon from my list, though. Charizard won’t be that great against trainers who have a good team.”

“And how many of my opponents in the Indigo League will know about the best Pokémon to have?”

Alex shrugged. “Probably not many. But it never hurts to have a good team anyways.”

“Yeah, I’ve always wanted to be the best!”

Alex didn’t laugh, as often happened when Ryan made a joke around him. And while that made Ryan sad, the boy could not dwell on such emotions, for he knew that he needed to get some sleep. Soon, the three would rise and set off for Cerulean City, and soon Ryan would need to find and catch a Haunter. He got up, thanked Alex for his wise counsel, and made his way to bed. Soon, Alex did the same. Rahul, however, stayed up quite a while longer, watching the great Pokébattles on screen and sucking on the hot green pepper that had come with his now-fully-consumed pizza, no doubt oblivious to the fact that such battles were, invariably, only a taste of what could actually be realized by the most skilled and intelligent trainers.


The blizzard had stopped by morning, and Ryan, Rahul, and Alex were greeted to the sight of snow slowly melting off Pewter City’s world famous rocks when they stepped outside. The three bundled up in their heaviest, warmest clothes, and then set out into the cold of day. It was a grim prospect, for Ryan hated the cold almost as much as he hated school, but he knew they could not afford to waste any more time. The tournament was coming up soon, and Kelly would be waiting for him there. He would not let himself miss that.

“We better get to Cerulean City fast,” Alex warned. “There may be another storm coming.”

“Yeah let’s go! Fifth badge, here we come!” Ryan said cheerfully.

Rahul looked rather tired and merely grumbled some quiet acknowledgement.

As the three adventurers gathered their bags and set out, Rahul’s Charizard, and Ryan’s and Alex’s Charmeleons blasted the snow from their path. They tread through the sodden, muddy path until they came to a spectacle just outside the Pewter City Museum. Dozens of people stood standing around, some even with their Pokémon. No less than four Officer Jennys could Ryan see. At once, Rahul went running up to one, whom he showed his sonic screwdriver to (Ryan knew Rahul was trying to get the pretty bluish-haired policewoman to show him her guns in return). Ryan and Alex walked up to the entrance of the museum, where a frazzled-looking man with long black hair and a fine suit and bowtie was standing.

“What’s going on?” asked Alex.

“Oh, it’s terrible. Dreadful! Horrific! Just the worst!” the man languished. “Someone stole all of our fossil specimens! Priceless artifacts! They belonged in a museum… our museum! And now they’re gone! It’s just dreadful! Horrific! A nightmare!” The man appeared to be crying.

Ryan tilted his head in confusion. “Why would anyone do that?”

“Oh, these fossils are worth a fortune! And if one has the proper technology, I’m sure you could reanimate a few of the ancient Pokémon found inside those fossils.”

“That sounds ridiculous,” Ryan noted.

“It’s always been like that. Don’t question the science of the Pokéworld,” the man wailed.

“Okay man, chill.”

Ryan and Alex were just about to leave, when the teal-haired boy spotted a familiar man standing just inside the museum.

“Dr. Kaku!”

“Who, wha… don’t assault me!” Michio Kaku screamed suddenly, turning and cowering.

“Uh, it’s just me, Ryan. Remember? You led me and my group through Viridian Forest not too long ago.”

“Ah yes, of course,” chuckled Michio, though in his eyes was a certain wild bewilderment that Ryan knew meant the man had no clue who he was.

“We were just going over what happened to the museum,” Mr. Kaku explained. “Some hooligans, most likely. That’s what the physics imply. They came in here,” Michio said with a little laugh, “and stole all of the fossils last night. All of them, every one! They sure were thorough.”

Ryan thought back to the light he had seen on in the second story of the museum the night before, and how weird he had found it at the time. I could have stopped this if I had realized what was going on. “Yeah, that sucks,” he said.

“We have teams out looking for whoever did this. Would you be so kind as to keep an eye out, too?” Dr. Kaku asked politely. “We really would like to get the fossils back. They are an important part of the history of this town… and of Kanto as a whole!”

“Don’t worry, we will,” said Alex quietly.

“Hey, who’s that?” asked Ryan, pointing to a hanging wall scroll just to the left of Michio Kaku and the destroyed museum cases that once housed all of the building’s fossils. On it was the visage of a woman with silver hair and bright purple eyes. She was riding on a Charizard who was shooting fire out of its mouth at another flying Pokémon with purple skin and a dinosaur-like face that Ryan did not know. She was the most beautiful woman Ryan had ever seen. It took his breath away just looking at her.

“Oh that?” Michio Kaku seemed surprised. “That is a painting done of the reclusive Dragon-type caretaker of Kanto, Derceyes. She owns the largest collection of Dragon and Dragon-like Pokémon in the region - if not the world, in my estimation.”

“She’s still alive?”

“Oh yes, she lives just north of Cerulean City to this day.”

“Why is there a painting of her in the museum, though?”

“Well, as you can see, she is a bit of a prodigy as it relates to Dragon Pokémon. It is her research that taught us much of what we know about these kinds of Pokémon. She has given us much of her research and even donated the eggs of her Pokémon to allow us to study these species more closely. And, look,” Michio said, pointing to a clear glass case just below the picture. “These mega stones were given to us by Derceyes to study.”

“What’s a mega stone?”

“Heheh, well, don’t worry about that,” Michio Kaku said. “That is something for us physicists at Smogon University to study. If we ever figure out what they’re for, we’ll let you know.”

“Dean has a mega stone for Magikarp,” Alex observed. “It’s on his mega ring. I think we already know what mega stones do.”

“No, no, no, no one knows. Not yet,” Michio Kaku stated. “We must study these mysterious devices more closely if we are to transition into the future of tomorrow. You see, Tomorrowland is a land of extraordinary promise and superhighways. In the future, no one will leave their houses - it will be a world of three-dimensional imagination full of cybernetic…”

Ryan and Alex got the heck out of there as soon as Dr. Kaku started to ramble. When they returned to Rahul, who was sitting on nearby bench, enjoying a bowl of hot and sour soup, they found the boy to be in high spirits. “Look what I got,” he boasted to the other two, holding up a little strip of paper. “Officer Jenny’s number.”

Alex snatched up the piece of paper and read it. “This is just the number for the police… 911.”

“It’s Officer Jenny’s number,” Rahul said, unperturbed. “Once I get all of the badges, I’m going to give her a call. She’s a fan of Doctor Who. I showed her my Facebook, and she loves how I share all this useless crap about things I like all day every day. 24/7, Alex.”

“Alright,” said Alex, ignoring his good friend. “Let’s go.”

So off they went, their fire Pokémon melting a path in the road for them. The road to Route 3 was as rocky as it was cold, as crater-filled as it was desolate. Ryan saw not a single strip of tall grass to train his Pokémon in. Instead, they trudged on in silence, occasionally stopping to eat, but never stopping for long. Abra rode in Ryan’s hoodie, sometimes muttering in his sleep, sometimes teetering on the edge of falling out (though he never quite did). The fire Pokémon continued their work in earnest, never seeming to tire of spitting out their lifeflames. But aside from the whooshing of their fires, or the hissing of the snow melting, there was almost no sound. Route 3 had an eeriness to it with how quiet it had become, Ryan came to learn. He guessed that was probably because of the blizzard sending all of the wild Pokémon and travelers into hiding, but it was unnerving nonetheless.

So it should come as no surprise that when the three boys heard voices carrying over the snow and rocky cliffs of Route 3, they all paused and looked at one another to make sure they were not hearing things. Curiously, Ryan leading them, the group made their way off the path, into the snow, and to the voices. When they rounded a large chunk of rock stuck in the ground, they found two people standing in a clearing, next to a few pine trees.

One, Ryan immediately noticed. He was Gillford, the pathetic little recruit of Team Rocket. He was wearing a dark suit with the Team Rocket logo emblazoned upon his chest in a red “R”. Standing next to him was a purple-haired girl with light green eyes. She too was wearing a dark Team Rocket suit. Upon seeing Ryan and the others, the two looked up and cursed. They jumped back, revealing a clearing in the snow, where they had laid out their plunder.

“The fossils,” Alex whispered to the others, pointing at the bag that lay on the ground. A few old rocks were spilling out of it, and the little yellow bag was probably filled to the brim with expensive artifacts.

“So these are the ones who stole from the museum?” Rahul stepped and scratched his goatee. “But why did you guys do that?”

“Shut up,” the girl replied. “Turn around and walk away. What we’re doing doesn’t concern you.”

“No way,” said Ryan. “We know what you did! We’re going to return those fossils to the Pewter City Museum.”

“Not a chance,” said the girl, smiling slightly.

She snapped her fingers, and then from the nearby bushes, a Pokémon came shooting out.

It was one Ryan knew, one that made his heart start to beat faster, one that made him as anxious and hopeful as it did scared. He brought out his Pokédex anyways and pointed it at the hovering, purple monster.

“Haunter, the Gas Pokémon. By licking, it saps the victim's life. It causes shaking that won't stop until the victim's demise,” the Pokédex droned.

“Haunter, use Hypnosis on these fools.”

“No wait!” Rahul said, reaching for a Poké Ball. Alex did likewise, but it was too late; the Haunter unleashed its attack on the two, instantly causing them to fall over into the snow, asleep.

Ryan, however, was saved. He too had screamed and put his hands over his face, anticipating the worst. Yet, his Abra had woken up at that moment, and just before the two could be hypnotized to sleep, Abra had teleported them safely away. Now Ryan stood alone to face the two members of Team Rocket.

Gillford grumbled, reached for a Poké Ball, and then threw it. Out came a Poliwrath to join Haunter.

“Oh come on, two-on-one isn’t fair!” Ryan complained.

“Life’s not fair,” the girl noted. She had a cute, pirate smile on her face now. “This ends now.”

Ryan scrunched up his face and then pointed to the snow. “Alright, fine. Go Abra! Let’s take these guys out!”

There stood Ryan’s most noble Pokémon. Haunter and Poliwrath loomed over Abra like two predators about to pounce on their next meal. Ryan knew this was going to be over soon. He reached into his pocket to grab a second Poké Ball. I can’t let Abra get hung out to dry.

Before he could throw the Poké Ball (the Pokémon inside being a mystery that will surely never be solved in this story), there came a shout from behind Ryan. He turned and saw a man in a thick Gore-Tex jacket slogging through the snow. His brown hair, dark skin, and closed eyes were unmistakable.

“Forrest?!”

“Go Golem!” the Gym Leader shouted. Out from the Poké Ball came a large rock Pokémon, the final evolution of Geodude. I knew that guy had stronger Pokémon than the ones he used against me! “Help that Abra take these Team Rocket lackeys out!”

Now Abra and Golem stood against Poliwrath and Haunter. We have a chance now, Ryan knew. It’s time to remind Gillford how bad of a trainer he is. And that girl, though she was pretty with her dyed purple hair and shiny earrings, would have to pay too. There was something attractive and cold about her, something that made Ryan both want to beat her in battle and take her out to see a movie. But he had priorities. They stole from the museum. We have to get the fossils back.

“I’m no lackey,” replied the girl. “I’m the second-in-command of Team Rocket! I’ll make you pay for underestimating me!”

“And I can levitate!” Gillford added. “I’m a Tier 1 warrior who exists beyond the planes of reality! My Pokémon are demi-gods! You cannot hope to defeat me!”

Ryan and Forrest looked at one another and nodded. “Don’t hold back,” Forrest told him. “We’re going to show Team Rocket that they can’t get away with stealing from anyone.”

Ryan clenched his fists and looked back at the four Pokémon ahead of him. “Alright Abra. Let’s do this! Use Thunder Wave on that Haunter!”

And thus, Ryan’s first double battle (which had had the most peculiar lead up to a battle ever), was about to begin. Like every other battle that had already occurred in this story, this one was going to decide the fate of the universe or something. Don’t miss the stunning conclusion to this legendary clash of titans in the next episode of A Just Edge!

Episode 18: Trading Snakeoil for Wolftickets

The four Pokémon trainers stood opposing one another: Ryan and Forrest on one side, and Gillford and the mysterious girl who called herself the second-in-command of Team Rocket on the other. The wind was blowing, and everyone was quiet; everything was peaceful. And then, all at once, the four broke out into commands for their Pokémon, thus beginning the inevitable cacophony of battle.

“Hypnosis that Golem,” the Team Rocket girl ordered her ghost Pokémon. The attack was as quick as it was devastating. Ryan and Abra looked away just in time, but the Golem was not so fortunate. It fell to sleep at once, robbing Forrest of coming up with an attack for his Pokémon to use.

Ryan already knew what he was going to do. “Alright Abra. Let’s do this! Use Thunder Wave on that Haunter!”

Ryan’s Abra jumped forward in an elegant (but unnecessary) front flip. A second later, a charge of electricity left his fist and shot towards the Team Rocket girl’s Haunter. The attack hit, covering the poor Haunter in a field of electricity. But alas, Paralysis only works 25% of the time, so the purple-haired girl that owned the Haunter was unperturbed. When it didn’t appear like the Haunter had actually become paralyzed, Ryan’s shoulders sunk forward.

“Just great!” Ryan shouted. “Paralysis should work 100% of the time just like sleep!”

“Your fault for using that move,” the girl replied, smiling deviously.

“Even if the Haunter isn’t paralyzed, his speed is crippled,” Forrest whispered to Ryan. “It’s not over yet.”

Now it was Gillford’s turn. “Yeah, Deshawn Equinneus! Use your ultra powerful Water Gun on the Golem!”

And so, the Poliwrath thrust itself forward and shot a jet of water at the sleeping Pokémon. The attack hit Golem square in the face, doing massive damage, Ryan was sure. It’s a super effective move, after all. I guess Gillford isn’t as dumb as he looks. The first turn had ended in a decidedly bad place for Ryan and Forrest and their quest to return the Pewter City Museum’s fossils.

“Attack Haunter with an offensive move this time,” Forrest advised the teal-haired boy. “That’s our biggest threat, even with the Poliwrath having super effective moves to use against my Golem.”

“Right,” Ryan gulped. “Okay, Abra, this time use a Psychic attack on Haunter!”

Gillford was not one to be outdone. “Water Gun on the Abra now, Deshawn Equinneus! You are a tier 0 Pokémon! Blast that little half pint creature out of here!”

“Haunter, Dream Eater on the Golem now!” the Team Rocket girl ordered. “Let’s get this over with.”

Abra nodded in understanding and then shot a beam of psychic energy from his fingertip. The Haunter, slowed by Paralysis, was unable to move out of the way, even though it had just loosed its own attack. The psychic attack hit it, causing it to groan out in pain. But it did not faint. Still, Ryan thought it looked to be quite damaged now, and another good psychic attack could probably end the Haunter’s run on this battlefield.

“Brah, raaah!” Abra shouted triumphantly after his attack made contact with the Haunter. Just then, he was hit by by the Poliwrath’s Water Gun and knocked over. However, the attack didn’t seem to do that much damage to him, and he sprung back up a second later, looking perhaps a bit dazed.

Ryan gasped. “Are you okay Abra?”

“Ra.”

“Okay, hopefully that means you are. Now let’s focus on this Poliwrath!”

Still in the air, however, was the Haunter’s Dream Eater attack, bearing down on the sleeping Golem. Just before the attack reached Golem, the rock Pokémon curled up into a ball, and then jumped up into the air, awake. The Dream Eater attack, which of course only works on sleeping Pokémon, bounced harmlessly off of the Pokémon’s hard rock shell.

“Yeah, Golem!” Ryan cheered. “You woke up just in time!”

“Good work Golem,” Forrest said. “How are you feeling?” Golem shook his head and turned back to face his foes. “Well, he’s seen better days.” The Gym Leader turned to Ryan. “Listen Ryan, have your Abra attack Haunter again, and I’ll go after the Poliwrath.”

“Alright. Abra, let’s do another Psychic attack!”

“Rah!!”

“Golem, tackle the Poliwrath!” Forrest commanded.

“Show your true power to these tier 3 fools, Deshawn!” Gillford screamed, spittle flying from his mouth. He belongs in a mental institution, Ryan thought.

“Use Night Shade on Golem,” the girl ordered her Haunter.

Abra was the fastest, so his attack hit first. The Haunter, weakened and slowed, was unable to avoid another beam of psychic energy. It took the attack head on, screaming as a white light enveloped it. Ryan whooped. And when the smoke cleared, Haunter had sunk to near the ground, its eyes all swirly like a couple of sweet rolls.

“KO’d, yeah!” Ryan shouted. “We did it, Abra!”

“Abra, abra,” the Pokémon responded lazily.

“No! Dangit!” The purple-haired girl looked as angry as she did confused. “How did an Abra take out my Haunter? I’ve never seen an Abra that powerful before.”

Ryan beamed. “My dad raised him. He’s stronger than he looks.” Ryan gave his Pokémon a thumbs up. “Good work, buddy!”

But the fight was not yet over. Gillford yet stood against Ryan and Forrest. His Poliwrath took a massive hit from Golem’s Tackle attack, but he wounded the rock Pokémon severely with another Water Gun as well. When the turn was over, Golem looked like he was about to faint. Gillford’s Poliwrath, on the other hand, did not seem like it had been damaged all that much by the Golem’s Tackle attack. Abra, still fresh, would be the advantage for their side now, Ryan knew.

“Abra, use Psychic!” Ryan commanded.

“Golem, Tackle.”

“Destroy that Golem, Deshawn,” Gillford shouting and pointing like a madman at the rock Pokémon. “Water Gun! Quickly, go, go, go!”

It sucked for Gillford that his Pokémon was the slowest, for before Deshawn’s attack could be loosed, Abra hit him with a pink beam of energy, causing the blue-and-white Pokémon to fly backwards into the snow. The attack was massive, but it was not enough to KO the Poliwrath. Then came Golem, rolling forward like a boulder down a mountain. Before the Poliwrath could so much as stand up, he was hit brutally with another Tackle attack, and this time, he could not withstand it. Poliwrath fell over, no longer able to battle.

“We did it! We won!” Ryan shouted.

“Curses!” Gillford wept.

“Team Rocket will be back,” the girl said, her jaws clenched. “Just you wait, kid. Next time we’ll have more of our Pokémon with us, and you won’t win.”

“Cool,” said Ryan carelessly. “Now get out of here, before I have Abra use Psychic on you!”

The two Team Rocket lackeys cursed and then ran off into the snowy forest. Once they were gone, Forrest returned his Golem to its Poké Ball and stepped forward, grabbing the bag that housed all of Pewter City’s precious Pokémon fossils. He bent down to scoop up all of the fossils that had spilled out, then slung the bag over his shoulder and turned around.

“Thanks,” he said to Ryan. “Those two were up to no good. It’s nice to know that there’s still people out there willing to fight evil.” Ryan didn’t know about that fancy moral mumbo jumbo, but he nodded anyways. “Oh and here, catch,” Forrest said, turning to throw two little bottles to Ryan. The boy caught them and looked at them curiously. “Awakening potions,” Forrest spoke. “Usually, we give these to Pokémon, but it seems like your friends over there are the ones who got put to sleep by Haunter.”

“Oh yeah… Rahul and Alex. I almost forgot about them. Thanks!”

“No problem. I’ll take these fossils back to the museum, but I’ll make sure everyone knows you helped me, Ryan. The road to Cerulean City is that way, by the way,” he said, pointing in the opposite direction.

“Thanks.”

Forrest nodded and then trudged off into the snow, back towards Pewter City.

Ryan moved forward to where Rahul and Alex lay like steely mannequins amongst the snow. As he went to kneel down, he caught a glint of gold in the snow, just at Alex’s feet. He reached down and plucked up a little mass of hard, semi-translucent material. It was golden and there appeared to be a mosquito trapped inside it.

“What is this, Dex?” Ryan asked.

“The fossilized resin of a tree from prehistoric trees, better known as Old Amber. It appears to contain the genes of an ancient Pokémon.”

“A fossil!” Ryan’s voice was filled with awe. “Hey, wait. Forrest?!” he stood up, looking for the Gym Leader, but the man had disappeared down the path. “Huh. Genes of an ancient Pokémon? I wonder which one?” The boy shook his head. “Maybe I could have Professor Oak or Dr. Michio Kaku help me revive this guy sometime.”

But he knew that neither man would be in Cerulean City. So Ryan pocketed the little fossil and knelt down to wake Rahul and Alex up.


The three boys, Alex, Rahul, and Ryan, made their way through Route 3 at a brisk pace. Just an hour or so after the battle against Team Rocket, they were already approaching the end of the route. Having not met any other trainers or wild Pokémon to battle, they had breezed through the route. As they were walking, they saw the visage of a large cave system appear before them, with a Pokémon Center just to the left of it.

“We’ve made it!” Rahul said. “Yes! See Alex, I told you we could get to Cerulean City by the end of the day.”

Alex was unimpressed. “We still need to pass through Mt. Moon and Route 4.”

“Don’t be a downer,” Rahul scolded. “We are so getting there today.”

“Hey, look!” Ryan said, pointing at the snow-covered trees to their right. “There’s Pokémon in there. We should catch them!” The dark shapes of bird-like Pokémon could be seen in the small collection of trees. There were dozens of them in the trees, but every one of them sat completely motionless.

Alex shook his head. “I only catch Pokémon that are useful. There aren’t any useful Pokémon on Route 3. Those are just Spearows or Pidgeottos, most likely. Useless for competitive battles.”

“Aw come on,” Ryan complained. “I want to catch a bunch of Pokémon. Even if I don’t use them all in battles, it’d still be nice to have them. Not everything has to revolve around battles! What do you think, Rahul?”

Rahul was staring down at the little strip of paper that had Officer Jenny’s number on it. “Uh, yeah, okay. Let’s catch Pokémon.”

Ryan sent out Aegon. Rahul threw a ball that produced a Magneton.

Ryan smirked. “I bet I can catch one first.”

Rahul stood still as a statue of buddha. Then, a small smile crept onto his face. “You’re on.”

And so they went. Ryan and his Charmeleon trudged through the tall grass together, looking for any and all wild Pokémon. He was particularly keen on having his Pokémon challenge the birds he had seen sitting in the trees, so Aegon just burnt his way through all of the Rattatas and Mankeys he found in the tall grass. Then, Ryan and his Pokémon came to the edge of one of the trees, and there above them sat a Pidgeotto perched upon a twisted branch, looking down at them scornfully.

“Okay, Aegon, this is the one I want to catch. Don’t burn him up too much.”

“Meleon, char!”

Aegon, the loyal beast, rushed up the tree and knocked the Pidgeotto over with Scratch attack. The Pidgeotto squawked and fell into the tall grass. When Aegon chased it down there, it sprung up and defended itself with a Quick Attack. Aegon was hurt by this, as any Pokémon would be, but the damage was minimal, Ryan knew. His Pokémon was at a much higher level than the wild Pokémon he was trying to catch.

“One more Scratch,” Ryan commanded. I don’t want this Pidgeotto to faint.

After another swipe of Aegon’s claw, the Pidgeotto’s feathers became ruffled, and it looked like it was getting tired. Perfect. Let’s catch this guy.

Ryan wished he had a hat so he could spin it around and do a little twirl. As it was, he simply threw a Poké Ball right at the Pidgeotto. The ball opened, and the Pidgeotto was sucked inside. The red-and-white ball jiggled back and forth two or three times, and then split open, cracking to pieces. The Pidgeotto flew out majestically and returned to its perch on the tree. Ryan threw another ball at it, but the Pidgeotto just batted it aside with its wing.

“Just give up! I’ll catch you!” Ryan warned it. “This would go a lot faster if you just stayed inside the ball.”

But the Pidgeotto turned its head away to ignore Ryan. When he tried to throw two more Poké Balls, they were slapped aside just as the second ball had been. The boy sighed.

“I didn’t want to have to use up all of my Ultra Balls, especially against weak Pokémon like this, but it looks like I have no choice! Come on, Pidgeotto! Join my team!!”

He threw one of his few remaining Ultra Balls (in truth, these balls had once belonged to his father) at the bird Pokémon. This time, Pidgeotto was not able to bat away the black-and-yellow ball. It was sucked inside, and though it squirmed around in that ball for several seconds, eventually even that stopped. The light surrounding the ball dimmed, and it fell from the tree, to the tall grass. Aegon scampered over and retrieved it for Ryan, before returning it to him.

“There we go!” Ryan said, running back to Rahul and Alex. “Look, I caught a Pidgeotto!”

Rahul was unimpressed. He held up three balls. “I got three Spearows.”

“Aw, come on! Pidgeotto is way harder to catch than those things.”

“That wasn’t the challenge,” Rahul noted, laughing. “It was whoever caught the first Pokémon wins. I win. What do I win?”

“Three useless Pokémon,” Alex grumbled.

The three trainers stayed in the tall grass for a little while longer, training up all of their Pokémon on the wild species that could be found on Route 3. As the day wore on, a man in a business suit and with a bluetooth device stuck in his left ear came walking down the road from the Pokémon Center. He had an old rod slung over his left shoulder and was talking to someone on his bluetooth device. When he spotted the three, he called them over.

“Hello gentlemen,” the man said pleasantly. “My name is Ken. I am an experienced Pokémon breeder and fisher!” he said, patting his old rod. “Would any of you be interested in purchasing the Pokémon I have for sale?”

“What do you have for sale?” Rahul asked.

“I’m a Magikarp salesman!” the man beamed. He opened his fancy grey jacket to reveal a Magikarp hanging by a hook on the inside of his jacket. “For just 2000 Poké Dollars, this fine specimen can be yours! What do you say?” he said warmly, a wide, toothy smile forming across his shaven face.

“This guy is shady,” Alex said.

“It’s just a Magikarp,” Rahul said in disbelief.

“This is a fine Magikarp! It is one of the most powerful Pokémon you can hope to use! You guys are going to Cerulean City, right?” The three nodded. “Well, I’ll tell ya, this guy will be your ticket to a Cascade Badge, guaranteed!”

Alex shook his head. “Magikarp is one of the worst Pokémon to use against that gym. He has pitiful strength, plus no type advantages.”

The man scowled at Alex. “Don’t listen to your friend,” he said to Ryan and Rahul. “This Magikarp is a lot stronger than he looks. Heck, I’d even go so far as to call him jolly.”

Magikarp convulsed slightly, and Ryan thought he heard a “Carp, carp, carp,” escape from the thing’s lips. “Why does it look sick?” Ryan asked. “Its color is wrong. Aren’t Magikarp supposed to be orange? This one’s yellow.”

The salesman’s lip trembled. “Uh, don’t forget, you can get rich off of this Pokémon! Just breed him with other Magikarp, and you will have yourself a very lucrative business! The market is full of people who want to buy Magikarp… and not just for battling, but for food! Magikarp are very tasty.”

“Come on, let’s go,” Alex said. Rahul nodded in agreement, and the two began to walk off.

Ryan, on the other hand, stood. Magikarp is a pathetic Pokémon. But Magikarp evolves into Gyarados… maybe it would be better to buy this Magikarp instead of having to worry about catching one later on. I don’t even like fishing. “I’ll pay 500,” Ryan said, finally.

The man’s eyes lit up. “1500! Not a Poké Penny less! I swear I’ll walk away right now!”

“1000-”

“Deal!” the man said before Ryan could even finish speaking. The trainer frowned. He’s desperate to get rid of it. Man, I could’ve talked him down more…

“Here,” Ryan said, a little annoyed, handing the man the money. Most of the money he had won from the previous gym battle was now gone. Ryan knew he’d have to earn some more money soon if he wanted to be able to buy food and stay in hotels with the Rahul and Alex.

The man licked his lips and grabbed the cash. Then, he handed Ryan the yellow Magikarp. The boy took out a Poké Ball and quickly put his new Pokémon inside it.

“No refunds!” Ken the salesman said as soon as it was over. And before Ryan could so much as say another word, the man in the business suit was already sprinting off down the road in the other direction, as if a horde of Tauros was chasing him.

Ryan rejoined the others, and saw Rahul looking at him strangely. “Why did you buy it? Magikarp aren’t worth that much.”

The boy replied, “Hey, every Magikarp becomes a Gyarados some day. And Gyarados is one of the coolest Pokémon ever.”

“Yeah, I guess. But I’d rather get a Gyarados than a Magikarp. It’ll be annoying to have to train it before it evolves,” the big man pointed out.

He’s right about that, Ryan thought. But hopefully this Magikarp will evolve soon.

The three made their way to the Pokémon Center, where they rested their Pokémon for a few hours. Ryan used the nearby PC to exchange Clawey for the Pidgeotto he had just caught. He made sure to give his Pidgeotto, who was a female Pidgeotto, a name: Swirlie Whirlie. This was a name Ryan had always wanted to name a Pidgeotto if he ever caught one, but he didn’t know where that name had come from nor how he had thought of it.

He put Magikarp into storage too, thinking that he could focus on training that water Pokémon after he won his next badge. Just as he had done with his Pidgeotto, Ryan gave his new Magikarp a name: Shenlong. That name, he knew, would be more apt, once his lil yellow fish evolved.

As this was going on, Alex and Rahul went to the far side of the Pokémon Center, way in the back, where there was a small mart to buy things. Alex bought some trail mix, and Ryan saw that Rahul was purchasing things too, but he didn’t stay to see what they were. Instead, he returned outside, to the frost-coated air of evening. Abra, Charmeleon, Dragonair, Tauros, Cloyster, and Pidgeotto. Not my final team, but a good team, I hope. I’ve gotta level these guys up fast. The tournament is almost here.

He almost toyed with letting his new Pidgeotto out then and there. But at that moment, Alex and Rahul came walking out. When Ryan turned to face them, he burst out in laughter. There stood Rahul, the big man, in a blue t-shirt with a picture of the Ninth Doctor on it, in all his glory. And upon Rahul’s face was a ponyta beanie with large eyes. He had pulled the beanie down over his face and taken his glasses off to put over those bright fake eyes on the hat. Ryan had no idea how Rahul could see, but he was impressed, nonetheless.

“I am the Doctor…!” Rahul roared, thrusting his sonic screwdriver into the sky. He was so proud of himself, which made Ryan laugh even harder.

Alex stood nibbling trail mix next to the big man; there was a knowing, perhaps bemused look in his eye. “This is the first I’ve heard of him being a fan of My Little Ponyta.”

“Hey, it’s a great show!” Rahul countered. “But Doctor Who is the best!” It wasn’t easy having no shame.

Seeing that they were losing the light of day, the three then ran over to the entrance to Mt. Moon, which was just to the right of the Pokémon Center. However, when they got there, they saw a tall man with dark skin, long black hair, and large, defined muscles, standing in their way. He wore only the pants of a gi, as well as a black belt, and he had a serious look upon his face. When the three reached him, the man held up his hand.

“The way is shut. Mt. Moon is closed for renovations right now.”

“Hey, who are you to stop us?” Rahul asked, angrily.

“My name is Bruno. I am the one tasked with preventing trainers from entering Mt. Moon right now. As I already said, the cave is being renovated. No one is allowed inside.”

“Then how are we going to get to Cerulean City?” Ryan asked. “The map says this is is the only way there!”

Bruno, his body as still as a statue, pointed to his left. “My Onix dug a hole through the mountainside over there. There is a path through there to lead you to Route 4 and Cerulean City.”

“Alright, let’s go then,” Ryan said quickly.

“Fine,” said Rahul, still eyeing Bruno suspiciously. “Mt. Moon sucks anyways. There’re too many fairy Pokémon in there.”

“Be quiet, Rahul,” Alex said sternly. “There are no fairy type Pokémon in Generation 1.”

“Oh yeah. I forgot.” Rahul looked at Ryan. “Fairy type Pokémon are overpowered. Don’t forget that. If I could, I would ban them all.”

Alex shrugged. “Not really. I don’t have a strong opinion about them either way, but they aren’t that bad. You just hate them because they counter your Dragon Pokémon.”

Rahul and Alex argued for the rest of the trip through the Onix hole. Ryan was just glad that they were going to get to Cerulean City that day. He didn’t know what a fairy Pokémon was, or why it produced such rage in Rahul and his Ponyta beanie. When they got through the path - it took no more than a few minutes - the three trainers beheld the sprawling rocky, hilly region of Route 4. Beyond… Cerulean City loomed.

As Ryan stepped forward, he noticed that there were perhaps a dozen trainers milling about down the path, in the lower hills and valleys. He looked over at Alex and Rahul and then pulled out two Poké Balls. “Hey, why don’t we practice a bit on these other trainers before heading to the Gym? My Pokémon could use the experience.” And I could use the victory money…

Alex shrugged. “You should each take half.” The two trainers nodded and stepped forward. “Oh and Ryan, you should work on leveling up your Tauros when you can. He’s a beast at high levels, and I haven’t seen you using him much.”

“Y-yeah, I guess!” replied Ryan as he scratched the back of his head. “I guess I just forgot about Tauros! But you’re right. I need to level him up! These trainer battles will provide some nice experience for him.” He dropped the two balls he was holding back into his bag and took Tauros’ out. “Alright, Tauros, I choose you!”

Out came Ryan’s massive bull Pokémon. The boy ran up to Tauros and pet him on the neck. “Hey boy, I’ve missed you. Wanna stretch your legs? Battle a few Pokémon?”

The Tauros Ryan had named NaVorro stamped a foot into the ground and grunted. Ryan knew what that meant. He jumped on Tauros’ back and then pointed forward. “Okay, down the mountain, Tauros! Not too fast, though. I don’t want to fly off. Let’s reach those trainers before Rahul!”

Rahul took out his Dragonair and then got on its back, perhaps trying to do the same thing as Ryan. Yet Dragonair was a much smaller Pokémon than Tauros, and Rahul was a much bigger guy than Ryan. So needless to say, when the two began their race to the bottom of the mountain, Ryan and his Tauros got there a lot quicker, and that gave Ryan just a little more time train his Pokémon for the next gym. It was a small, but in Ryan’s mind, a much needed advantage.


Persian was staring at them when they entered the smoky, low-lit room. The magnificently-groomed Pokémon stood perched, never moving, never blinking, its eyes trained on them, lest they make the wrong move. The two of them bowed low, keeping their heads down until they heard the voice of their master speak.

“Rise,” he spoke after several moments. His voice was old and tired, a result of all the years he spent smoking cigars and drinking heavily. The two stood up and looked at their master, who sat in a chair of painted leather. His face was obscured by the darkness of the room, though they could see his eyes shining through, piercing into their souls.

“I’m s-sorry,” she said, bowing again. “We failed. We were able to capture the fossils, but several trainers tracked us down and took them back before we could return them to you, sir.”

“We will make it up, I swear!” the boy at her side shouted in earnest. “I promise, sir. We’ll capture the most powerful Pokémon in the world for you!”

“Quiet,” she said, slapping the boy across the face. Turning to face her master, she winced, preparing for the berating that would come from her partner’s insolence. She half expected the Persian to jump down from its perch above their master’s desk.

The man coughed himself into a fit that built itself into something bordering on theatrics. She wasn’t sure if he was strong enough to withstand such a barrage, but as soon as she stepped forward to comfort her ailing master, he raised a hand and stopped coughing. She saw him holding a handkerchief, and thought she saw dark stains on it. In the low, brown light of the room, she could not be sure.

Her master wiped his mouth with his handkerchief and then spoke, “You two have disappointed me. I should punish you… But there’s no time for that. Here,” he said, leaning forward to hand her a set of tablets. Each one turned on as she touched it, revealing a legendary Pokémon on its screen. “Lugia… Moltres… Zapdos… Mew,” the man said, as she cycled through the list. Each looked familiar, except the last. The Mew was not the familiar pink color she was used to. No, it was blue.

“Why is this Mew a different color?”

Her master shook his head. “Eyewitness reports all state that the Mew that has been spotted recently is blue. If it is a mirage or some kind of freak of nature is for you to figure out.” He leaned back, coughing some more. “Now go, you two. Attached to each file is a list of locations each Pokémon has been spotted at. You will not return to me until you have found and captured at least one of these Legendary Pokémon. Do you understand?” His voice was thin and careful, menacing as a razor laid against flesh. When they nodded, he continued, “Gillford and Jessica… you two are my last hope, the last hope of this organization. Team Rocket needs you to be successful. There can be no more failures. None. Do not disappoint me again.”

The two bowed, and exited the room. Jessica kept her eyes on the Persian as she walked out, still feeling anxious that it could, at any moment, jump from its perch and attack her. That’s how it used to be in the old days. I’m so stupid, she thought angrily. Persian died years ago. Giovanni had him stuffed. There’s no point in being afraid of ghosts. She reached for the Poké Ball hooked to her belt, feeling it over instinctively. At the same time, she looked at the two tablets she held (she had given the other two to Gillford to study); no matter how much she tried to look at the others, her mind and eyes kept coming back to that blue Mew. There was something about it, something different - something special.

That’s the Pokémon that will help Team Rocket rise from the ashes once again. That’s our ticket to immortality.

Jessica grabbed Gillford by the shoulder and pulled him over to her, pointing at the blue Mew on her screen. “Forget the others. We’re going to find this one.”

“Where was it last seen?” Gillford asked. “And is it a strong one? Tier 0? Well, it should be at least Tier 1. Come on, tell me, what are its stats? Can it break through the fabric of time?”

Jessica ignored him and scrolled down to the last known sightings of the Mew.

“Lavender Town,” she breathed. She looked up at Gillford and smiled. “Looks like we’re going home.”

Episode 19: The One That Got Away

The sun just beginning to set behind them, Ryan, Rahul, and Alex made their triumphant entrance into Cerulean City. Ryan rode atop his noble NaVorro, fresh off the spoils of victorious battle. He thumbed the Poké Dollars through his fingers, savoring the sweet cash he had just made by wrecking all those noobs on Route 4. He was certain NaVorro, as well as his other Pokébuddies, had gained a level or two in those battles.

Coming into the city, the three found themselves, for the most part, alone. Most shops were closing up, most trainers were retiring to their homes or hotels, and there were few bystanders left milling about. Not the welcoming party I had hoped for, Ryan thought to himself.

As they passed by a small building, the smell of roasting meat and aromatic spices drifted through the air. Ryan’s mouth began to water, and as he looked over at Rahul, he could almost hear the big man’s stomach grumbling.

“Come on, Alex! Let’s get some dinner. I’m starving.”

“You’re always starving.”

Yet, dinner they got. Rahul ordered for them, while Ryan and Alex stood back, watching the few people still out and about drift through the paved streets like leaves down a lazy river. Sitting at a table just outside the little food shoppe was a middle-aged man wearing a velvet shirt, grey sweatpants, and glasses (which Ryan thought were women’s glasses). He was a bald man, stocky and short and hunched over. On his table was a newspaper and a plate, on which appeared to be a block of cheddar cheese. As a side, the man had a platter of fries, crisp and golden like a deep fried Magikarp. The man was eating from this block of cheese, as if it were a normal thing to do, muttering to himself, pointing this way and that, as if he was bebopping and scatting and about to lose it. Yet, that was not the thing that drew Ryan’s eye to this man. No, that was the Squirtle who had appeared at that man’s feet.

It was a quick little bugger, that Squirtle. Darting up to the table, it took the opposite seat of the bald man, reached up and began to nibble on some fries. The man in the velvet shirt did not notice this at first. Ryan elbowed Alex softly, alerting the small Chinese Pokémon Master to what was going on, and in silence and awe, the two watched as the Squirtle ate more and more of the man’s fries without getting caught.

It should also be mentioned at this point that the Squirtle was wearing a wig - it was a wig of red, curly hair, long enough to grace the skull of an older Jewish woman. How this wig had found itself upon the Squirtle’s head is a question not for us, the readers, but a question for the great philosophers - the Nietzches and Kierkegaards and Kanye Wests of our time. Certainly, Ryan and Alex had no idea what was going on.

Just then, the bald man looked up and caught sight of the rascally Tiny Turtle Pokémon. The man let out a cry, half disgust and half outrage, and flung his newspaper onto the ground. Standing up and grasping onto his block of cheese, he pointed at the Squirtle. His voice caught in his throat, and every time he tried to talk and found that he couldn’t, his little round head (which looked like a polished orange) bounced up and down and his face got redder and redder. The man took large, quick bites out of his block of cheese and then flung it away. He dashed forward, gathered up his platter of fries and began to devour them hastily. All this time, Ryan noticed how the bald man had not let his eyes leave the Squirtle’s.

Eating like a madman, the bald guy said, “Hey, don’t tell me how to eat!” He cocked his head sideways and grunted; it seemed like, to the teal-haired trainer watching this, that the man was about to burst a blood vessel.

“Squirtle squirt,” came the reply, dry as the Boneway in midsummer.

“What’s that supposed to mean?” the man sputtered. He threw the rest of his fries onto the ground and stepped forward, raising a fist into the air as if he was about to pray to the heavens for rain.

“Whoa, dude. Chill out,” Ryan said, stepping forward. “Why don’t you take your Squirtle back home before you embarrass yourself?”

The man’s face was flushed a delicate shade of purple. Ryan thought he looked like an eggplant. “Mind your own business, kid. This is between me and my mother!”

Alex was in disbelief. “Mother? That’s a Squirtle.”

“Huh?” the man said, clearly flustered. He pivoted back and forth, looking from the Squirtle to Ryan and Alex and back again. After a few seconds, he straightened up, loosened the collar of his velvet shirt, and twitched his head in surprise. “Well… I suppose you’re right. That is indeed… a Squirtle. I-if you don’t mind, I will be leaving.”

And with that, the man began to walk away at a brisk pace, one that was surprising for such a pear-shaped individual.

“Hey, don’t forget your Squirtle!” Ryan shouted after him.

“I don’t have a Squirtle,” the man replied. “I don’t own any Pokémon!”

“Huh?”

“It’s not a lie if you believe it!” the bald man shouted before scurrying off into the growing darkness. “Don’t trust anyone in capes! Mark my words!”

Ryan cocked his head to the side. “What the heck just happened?”

“Beats me,” Alex shrugged.

Just then, Rahul appeared with three plates of food - sandwiches with fries (and Rahul had gotten himself a few extra portions of fries). The three sat down outside as the sun faded behind the horizon, talking over strategies for the next gym and for the Indigo League Tournament. Ryan let Abra out of his Poké Ball and let the little guy have some of his food.

“Rahul already has his final team… but a few more of them need to evolve,” Alex said as he ate his salami sandwich with chopsticks. “On the other hand, you need to make sure you have your final team soon, so you can start training them more intensely and make sure they all evolve into their final forms,” he told Ryan.

“I have Myrrah and NaVorro and Thurnax and Abra and Aegon. And I’m thinking about catching a Haunter or Gengar too.”

“Your Aegon is the weakest member of your team, but it should be alright. Rahul has a Charizard too.”

“Yeah I think I’ll go with him. I just need a Gengar and then I can level everyone else up, especially you, buddy,” Ryan said, patting his Abra on the head.

Abra, who was munching on a long fry, looked up annoyed and then continued to eat as if he was suspended in molasses.

“Your Abra is strange,” Alex spoke. “Why hasn’t it evolved already?”

“I don’t know,” the teal-haired boy said. “Maybe he doesn’t want to yet. He’ll evolve whenever he wants to. I won’t force him to.”

“Come on, let’s get to the hotel,” Rahul grunted. The other two looked over and saw that their friend had already finished his meal. Despite having much more to eat than Ryan or Alex, Rahul had completely devoured everything on his plate. And the two of them were not even halfway done. “Doctor Who is on in twenty minutes. I’m not missing it!”

“Stop being so impatient,” Alex scolded. “Some of us can’t eat as fast as you.” He turned to Ryan. “If that’s your final team, you will need to make sure you give each one the optimal moveset.”

“What’s that?” the boy replied.

“Well, it’s different for each Pokémon. And, to be fair, it will require you to get several TM moves for them. But it’s worth it. Especially for Tauros.” Alex leaned down and wrote some words on his napkin, then gave it to Ryan to look at. “These are what I’ve found to be the best moves for the Pokémon you have right now. Others would probably disagree, because there’s no perfect moveset for any Pokémon. But this is just what I think would be the best for you.”

Ryan looked over the napkin. He winced as he saw how many TMs he would have to purchase: Body Slam, Hyper Beam, Earthquake, Blizzard, Thunderbolt, Explosion, Mega Drain, Swords Dance, and Fire Blast. Funnily enough, the only Pokémon whom Alex did not recommend changing any moves for was Abra. Guess Dad knew what he was doing, after all. It made Ryan feel a little guilty that he needed Alex to tell him the movesets for his Pokémon, for he was sure his father had come up with the list for Abra and his other Pokémon on his own.

“Well,” said Ryan, sighing, “this’ll cost a lot of money, and I’ll have to look all over for these TMs. I have no idea where they are.”

“You’re not in that much of a rush,” Alex reminded him. The two looked over at Rahul, who was rattling his knuckles on the table. The big man was clearly in a rush. Doctor Who waits for no man. “The Tournament isn’t for a few more months. You’ll have plenty of time to search around for these moves. You will be able to buy most of them in Pokémon Centers, I believe.”

Once they were done eating, the four got up to leave when suddenly the Squirtle in the wig came darting over from the table it had been sitting at. It grabbed Alex’s plate and ran off with it, hoping to eat the last crumbs and remnants of food that the small Asian boy had left.

“Well, that was rude,” Alex said, but he didn’t seem to mind.

The Squirtle came running at them again, a moment later. He first went for Rahul, but seeing that the boy had left not even a crumb on his plate, he instead turned to Ryan and Abra. Abra was still holding Ryan’s platter of fries and was eating from it quite slowly. The Pokémon made its way for Abra and scooped the little basket of goodies right out of his hand.

“Abra?! Rah, bra!” Abra shrieked. He ran after Squirtle into the darkness, behind the food shoppe. A second later, a bright pink flash of light and a shout of pain followed.

“Hey, Abra!” Ryan yelled, running after his Pokémon. Rahul and Alex followed close behind.

When they rounded the corner, the three trainers were met by pitch black. Ryan reached into his bag and grabbed a flashlight. Shining it into the darkness, he saw Abra standing there, eating golden, crispy fries from the platter. He stood uncaring over the unconscious body of Squirtle.

“Whoa, Abra, why’d you do that?” his trainer asked.

“Abra, ra, ra, ra, bra, abra. Abra, ra. Ra, abra!” the Abra said earnestly.

“Come on, we’ve gotta get to the hotel!” Rahul whined.

“Fine,” Ryan replied. “Come on Abra, let’s go.”

“Ra.”

“And…” the trainer said, a small grin forming on his face. “Let’s not forget the Pokémon you just captured for me, buddy!”

Ryan threw a Poké Ball at the unconscious Squirtle. In a second, the Tiny Turtle Pokémon was overcome by a strong white light and sucked inside.

“Whoo baby! That’s another one for me! I’ve caught so many Pokémon! I’m so good at this!”

The others didn’t seem to care. Instead, Rahul led them frantically to the hotel they would be staying at so that he would not miss his precious show. As to if Rahul actually got to watch Doctor Who on time, Ryan never learned. For as soon as he settled down in the hotel and took off his backpack, he made his way back out into the night, towards the Pokémon Center. He had to make sure his new Squirtle got healed before the morning came, after all.


Two Chanseys were playing ping pong when Ryan entered the Cerulean City Pokémon Center. The one nearest Ryan scored an ace just as the boy walked inside and it screamed like Ryan had never heard an animal scream before. It was less celebratory than it was deathly, in the boy’s observation.

He made his way up to the desk, where a Nurse Joy sat snoozing in her office chair. One slap of the bell on the countertop awoke her like a bucket of cold water being thrown upon her head.

“H-huh, what’s going?!” the pink-haired woman asked Ryan.

“I need one of my Pokémon healed,” the boy explained.

“It’s late,” the Nurse Joy yawned. Ryan thought she looked mighty cute when she yawned.

“But this is urgent! I just caught him.”

Nurse Joy nodded. Taking the Poké Ball, she handed it to a Chansey lurking behind her. “It’ll be an hour or so,” she said sleepily. “You can wait in the waiting room while we attend to your Pokémon if you wish.” Ryan went to leave when suddenly, the Nurse Joy leaned over the counter and spoke again, “Wait a minute. You wouldn’t happen to be Ryan Morgan, would you?”

Ryan’s eyes narrowed in confusion. “How do you know that?”

“I was told to be on the lookout for a boy with blue hair. That’s you, right?” Ryan nodded. “Okay, I have a video message for you from your mother. She asked me to keep it until you reached Cerulean City. Do you want to see it now?”

Ryan nodded curtly. A video screen on the other side of the room turned on, and Ryan walked over to it, to get a little privacy. Then, a message began to play. There his mother sat, in her Sunday best, still as a sleeping Goldeen, in the living room of their house.

“Hi Ryan, this is your mother. I know you are busy collecting Gym Badges, but I would like you to return home as soon as you can. Your father and I need to speak with you about something. Please come as soon as you can, and make sure you bring Abra. Please hurry, Ryan.” She paused, looking down briefly, then returned her gaze to the screen. Ryan could see the glimmer of tears in his mother’s eyes. “I’m proud of you, Ryan. I really am. You’re doing so great collecting all of the badges. I love you very much. But please come soon. We can’t wait much longer. Goodbye.”

And with that, the video feed cut. Ryan didn’t know what to think. What’s going on? Why do they want to see me and bring Abra too? And why was she crying? Was it because of me getting all those badges so far… or something else? The boy had no clue. It was bizarre, though, that he was getting this message now, after all those messages he left for his parents without getting a response in the days and weeks before. He realized at that moment that he hadn’t spoken to or seen his parents since the day he set out on his Pokémon journey. That was a lifetime ago.

While waiting for Squirtle to be healed, Ryan went over to the Pokémon Center’s small shop in the back right corner of the building. When he saw a section for HMs and TMs, Ryan took out the napkin Alex had given him and looked for any and all TMs he would need.

“Alright!” he whispered after a few moments. Holding up two canisters containing the moves “Swords Dance” and “Fire Blast”, Ryan knew he had found two moves for his Charmeleon. When he reached the counter, and the man told him it would cost him 2000 Poké Dollars, Ryan nearly had a heart attack.

“I only have 2000 left!” The boy’s voice rang with horror.

“Well, either use that to buy the moves or put them back,” the cashier replied in annoyance.

“Fine.” Ryan handed him the money. Aegon better be happy about this. Now I can’t even buy anything to eat until I get my next badge. All that battling on Route 4, and I blow it in one day. But it’s for the greater good. Aegon needs these moves.

Ryan returned to the waiting room, watching the fierce battle between the two Chanseys for a while longer. The Chansey nearest the door was the far superior ping pong player, and it destroyed the other one in back to back to back games. That was as long as Ryan paid attention. He tried to read a magazine and sleep, but he couldn’t shake the thought of what his mother said. So instead of sitting there, Ryan got up and began to pace.

It was near midnight by the time Squirtle was healed.

“Here you go!” Nurse Joy said cheerfully.

Now it was Ryan’s turn to be tired. This was far, far past his bedtime, especially considering he was going to participate in a Gym Battle in the morning. He took the Poké Ball and put it into storage, sending Squirtle all the way back home. I’ll be there soon. Then, he gave his new Pokémon the fancy name of “Georgie Boy”.

Feeling the call of sleep tugging at his eyes, Ryan stumbled out of the Pokémon Center and returned to the hotel, where he found Rahul and Alex already fast asleep. Rahul had the remnants of some kind of food on his wife beater. Ryan, however, did not order anything to eat from room service before going to sleep. Though his stomach rumbled, he had no more money. He knew he’d have to wait until the morning. I’ll challenge Misty first thing in the morning. Rahul won’t get to go first this time.

And when Ryan got into bed, despite his hunger and the anxiety his mother’s message had given him, he fell asleep almost as soon as his head hit the pillow.


In the morning, Ryan got up before the others had even begun to stir and ran all the way to the Cerulean City Gym. The air was bitterly cold, and it stung his face as he ran; yet, as soon as Ryan entered the gym, he was hit with a blast of warm air. This is the water gym… why is it so hot in here? This is more like Cinnabar than Cerulean. The boy’s questions were soon answered when he came to the great indoor pool. There, at the far end, stood the gym leader Ryan knew to be Misty - she was a young woman with spiky red hair and a two-piece bathing suit on. In the water, floated several kids and aspiring trainers, it appeared. Most of them had flotation devices around them - like tubes or smaller pouches on their arms. Ryan figured he would have to fight them too, if the past gyms had been any indication. From the waters rose steam, evidence of the pool being heated in these cold winter days. Ryan was happy for that, at least. Misty was smarter than she looked.

“I’m here to challenge you!” Ryan shouted across the water.

Misty was standing at the base of a white plastic chair elevated by a staircase. She began walking down the stairs as she spoke, “I bet you’re here for this, aren’t you?” she asked, holding up a shiny blue speck that looked like a teardrop. “Well, if you want it, you have to beat me first.”

“I’ll beat you!” Ryan replied. “I’m a great Pokémon trainer.”

Misty laughed. “We’re not going to do a standard battle like you have participated in with the other gyms. If you want to win yourself a Cascade Badge, you’re going to need to beat me in a water race! So, are you up for that?”

“A water race?” That was the last thing Ryan expected. He knew he could beat her Pokémon with his own. He had trained them well. But this… a race? He didn’t like his chances.

“If you’re too scared,” Misty said, her voice dripping with sarcasm, “the door’s behind you.”

“I’m not scared! I’ll do it!”

“Then get changed into your swimming pants and we can get started. You get one Pokémon to ride on, so choose wisely.”

Ryan scampered off into the dressing room, which was in an enclave on the right side of the building. Once he had changed into his old pair of swimming pants, which were black with white tropical flowers lining the top, Ryan stepped out and contemplated which Pokémon he could use. I have Myrrah, Clawey, Shenlong, and Georgie Boy… but none of them are very high levels. Myrrah’s the most experienced one, but I don’t think I could ride on her shell… wait! Thurnax knows Surf! I wonder if that’s okay. He looked down, grasped onto his Dragonair’s Poké Ball, and began to walk forward, when Ryan ran into someone. Stumbling backwards, he looked up and beheld a face he had not expected to see here of all places.

“Hi… Ryan, right?”

“Y-yeah,” the boy replied. “But what are you doing here, Ash?”

The young man smiled devilishly. “Just visiting. How’s Tauros?”

“He’s good. I’ve been training him a lot. He’ll be really strong by the time the tournament comes around.”

“I’ll be watching to see,” Ash replied. “Did you get your Cascade Badge yet?”

“No, not yet. I’m about to. Well, first I have to do a water race or something. I’m not entirely sure.”

Ash shook his head. “Be careful. Misty’s a great racer. She won the Tour de Alto Mare when she was 10,” he said. “Don’t underestimate her.”

“But what can I do? I’ve never been in a race before in my life!”

“Make sure you have a high level Pokémon. They have better speed.” Ash patted Ryan on the shoulder. “You’ll do fine. Hundreds of trainers get this badge every year. You will too. It’s not a big deal.”

That’s easy for him to say. “Alright, thanks Ash. I’ll see you around.”

Ryan returned to the pool with a towel slung over his shoulder and Thurnax’s Poké Ball in his hand. There were now floating balls of orange and white that dotted the waters, forming the lanes for the Pokémon to race through. Across from him, on the other side of the pool, Misty sat on a Gyarados - as magnificent and terrifying a Pokémon as there was. Ryan found himself longing for Shenlong to evolve.

After letting Thurnax out of her ball, Ryan jumped on her back and ordered her to swim over the Gyarados. Thurnax did so obediently. Once the two Pokémon and their riders were lined up, Misty looked over at Ryan. “Whenever you’re ready…” she said.

Ryan nodded. He leaned forward, and whispered to his Dragonair, “Just go as fast as you can, Thurnax. Use all of your speed. But don’t use it all at once. Swim steady.” It was then Ryan remembered that Dragonair and the evolutionary line Dragonair came from was not one renowned for speed. Too late now. “Put all your concentration into swimming fast and smooth. Follow the lanes, and you’ll do great. I believe in you, Thurnax.” He patted his Dragonair on the back. “We’re winning this thing.”

Thurnax went, “Neieieieieie,” as she was wont to do.

“Alright, let’s race.”

Out of nowhere, a Pikachu riding a Squirtle came flying into view. The Pikachu had a whistle in its mouth and a white flag in its hand.

“Pikachu’ll be the referee,” Misty explained. “Just follow him as soon as he blows that whistle.”

Ryan nodded. He took a deep breath and held onto Thurnax tight. And then, he heard the shrill whistle echo through the hall. They were off.

“Go, Thurnax, go! Race to victory!” Ryan screamed. It was a familiar scream, one that made him think of Olivia. She was pretty; even prettier than Misty.

“Don’t let up, Gyarados,” Misty shouted. Her Pokémon growled and lowered itself further into the water.

It began to pull away from Ryan and Thurnax, and by the first bend in the path, Gyarados had outpaced them by almost a yard. Thurnax lowered herself into the water, just as her opponent had, though she barely kept pace.

After the first turn, the water swirling around them, Ryan and his Dragonair were met by a trainer floating in the pool. “Heck yeah, Seaking! Waterfall attack!”

“Dodge it!” Ryan clung to his Pokémon’s neck as hard as he could. When the Seaking dove under the surface and then came roaring up on plumes of water, Thurnax jumped out of the water, arcing in the air like a rainbow, before landing beyond the Pokémon and its trainer. “Great job! Keep going!”

Gyarados was now pulling away from them even more, and Ryan didn’t know what else his Pokémon could do. Dragonairs aren’t known for their speed. I was so stupid choosing Thurnax for this. She’s trying her best, but it’s just not going to cut it.

Zig-zagging through the lanes, Ryan and Thurnax dodged other trainers’ attacks - Starmies and Staryus shot Water Guns at them, and Seakings and Seadras attacked them from beneath the waters. Somehow I don’t think Misty’s having the same problems. Indeed, the red-headed woman and her Pokémon were nearly the length of Dragonair’s body in front of them. The Pikachu kept weaving in between the two racers on his loyal Squirtle, squeaking “Pika pika!” and waving his little flag, but Ryan paid him no mind. His eyes were locked on the Gyarados. We’ve gotta try something drastic.

“Hard turn!” Ryan ordered his Pokémon. “Let’s regain the lead!”

On the next bend, Ryan’s Dragonair cut hard, making such a sharp turn that the trainer was nearly flung into the water. He held on just barely and ordered his Pokémon to take another sharp turn on the next one. He noticed how Misty was just barreling on with her Gyarados. Her Pokémon was sprinting, and as a consequence, it was swimming sloppily. It was taking its turns wide. Within three turns, Dragonair had closed on Gyarados again, nearly drawing level with it.

“Nice try, but not good enough! Let’s go offensive, Gyarados!” Misty yelled. “Use all of your power! Keep the sprint going!”

Her Gyarados roared. Water flung up around it, laying a lane for it to glide through unimpeded. Ryan urged Thurnax to remain in Gyarados’ wake to get a little boost too, but the Dragonair was too slow and was instead hit by the waves Gyarados had made, slowing it even further. To make matters worse, a line of four trainers were floating in front of them, just in front of the finish line, where the Pikachu was riding about on Squirtle. All four threw their Poké Balls at once, as Dragonair roared towards them. Out popped four Gyarados.

“You’ve gotta be kidding me.”

“Hyper Beam!” the trainers spoke in unison.

The light was blinding, so much so that Ryan had to shield his eyes and look away. The situation was quickly growing dire. His Dragonair couldn’t afford to dodge the attacks, for she would lose her momentum. There wouldn’t be enough time to regain it. The finish line was too close. And she couldn’t take the hits either, for even one Hyper Beam would have surely been enough to KO her - four would do some serious damage. He wasn’t about to let his Pokémon get hurt like that. I need to think of something… anything. Ryan thought as hard as he could, but there was nothing; his mind was numb from the hysteria of the race. It was all too much. And then he saw the waves. They were flying this way and that around the pool, courtesy of the race that was going on. One passed just in front of Ryan and Thurnax, between them and the incoming Hyper Beams. That gave Ryan an idea.

“Thurnax, Surf! Dive underwater!”

“Nieieie!”

Ryan took a big gulp of air and then pressed his body against Thurnax’s neck. At once, he felt his Pokémon surge forward on her Surf attack, riding a wave of her own creation. Under the water she went, below the Hyper Beams, below the churning currents. Ryan opened his eyes and saw the Gyarados straight ahead, bearing down on the finish line. Come on, come on! Just a little more!

Thurnax was moving as fast as she could, torpedoing through the water and gaining on her foe. Ryan watched them get closer and closer to Gyarados. The Atrocious Pokémon was slowing up, running out of energy. Misty risked it all with a sprint, and now her Pokémon’s exhausted. Thurnax had kept a fast pace as well, but she had never gone all out as she was now. She had more energy, Ryan knew. And thus, they closed on Gyarados. The finish line was approaching; the Pikachu was screaming so loud, Ryan could hear it all the way under the water. His ears were popping, his lungs were screaming for air. Thurnax swam on, gaining speed, gaining distance, gaining hope. The closer she got to Gyarados, the faster she went, the more she realized she could win this thing. Ryan was feeling dizzy. He knew he couldn’t hold his breath much longer. He needed air. He needed to reach the surface. But he couldn’t let go. That would disqualify him. He squeezed Dragonair’s neck lightly, urging her forward. She got the message and boosted into a new gear, a speed yet unseen.

Gyarados was just about to pass the white ribbon that was hovering over the finish line when Thurnax broke the surface in an explosion of water. Before Misty had time to turn her head, Ryan and Thurnax crossed the finish line, the broken victory ribbon streaming around them. Ryan was panting heavily, and Thurnax collapsed in the shallow water just beyond the finish line, letting her trainer roll of her and lie in the shallows too, his chest heaving, his throat raw.

“Well done,” Misty said at last, riding her Gyarados over to Ryan. “I can't believe I lost! I thought I had it won, but you came up in the last second. Your bond with your Pokémon really shows. You two earned that victory together.”

All Ryan could do was muster up a hoarse laugh. His stomach was rumbling, and he was seeing spots. He wanted nothing more than to go back to the hotel and collapse in bed with a bowl of cereal.

Misty stopped just in front of Ryan and dismounted from her Gyarados. Wading into the water, she made her way over to Ryan and held out her hand. “All right! You can have the Cascade Badge to show you beat me!”

Ryan took the little glass drop of water from her hand and held it firmly. “Thanks! That was one heckuva race!” But your all-out offensive approach got you beat in the end. Sprinter never wins such a long races. Smart and steady wins the race. Beaming ear to ear, he got out of the pool and looked down at his Dragonair who had brought him the most miraculous of victories. “Hey, Thurnax, you did awesome!” He patted her on her tired head, and took out her Poké Ball. “I’m so glad I have you as part of my team. Now how about we go get a little rest?”

“Nieie…!”

The Pikachu jumped off the Squirtle and ran over to Ryan on all fours. Once it reached him, it stood up on its hind legs and murmured. “Pika, pika, pikachu!”

“Hey, you look familiar!” Ryan said, kneeling down to observe the Pikachu further. “Haven’t we met before?”

Pikachu cocked its head. “Pikachu?! Chu!!”

Ryan stood up. He was faintly reminded of being handed a pillow once by this very same creature. A wide smile burst across his face. He turned back to Misty, who was tending to her tired Gyarados. “Hey Misty, tell Ash I said hi.” She won’t know I already saw him in the dressing room.

She looked up and gave Ryan a weird look before nodding silently. Ryan returned Thurnax to her ball and then grabbed his towel. Once he had dried off and put his clothes back on, he walked back to the Gym’s entrance. There was no sign of Ash, and that made Ryan think of Kelly and how she had left him in Viridian City. I’ll see her again, he promised himself. I’ll fight her in the finals of the Indigo League. Then she’ll finally respect me.

Ryan stepped out of the Gym and was greeted by the bright light of day. Yet it was not that he saw. A dark shape descended upon him at that moment, and he felt a stinging sensation spread across his face. He was falling, falling to the paved ground. And when he hit the cement sidewalk, he felt Thurnax’s Poké Ball slip from his grasp. Just as he began to wonder what - or who - had hit him, darkness covered the boy’s eyes, and he thought no more.

Episode 20: Fire and Blood

His ears were ringing. Tears were streaming down his cheeks from the stinging in his nose, which must’ve been broken. He had a headache, felt so tired, so hungry that he just wanted to collapse and go back to sleep. But he couldn’t. He’s not taking Thurnax from me! Using all of his strength, Ryan stood up and sprinted down the road after the thief who had stolen his Dragonair. He was riding those fumes of adrenaline.

Up ahead, Rahul and Alex came strolling down the road, Rahul with an ice cream cone in each hand. When they saw the blur of the thief run past them and Ryan chasing after him, they stopped, mouths agape.

“Get him!” Ryan shouted. “He stole Thurnax!”

And thus, the three were off. Rahul threw his cones away, though one hit Alex in the hair and got lodged in there like a cozy, catatonic Kakuna. The Asian boy did not seem to mind, though, since the ice cream was green tea flavor, and that was of course Alex’s most favoritest flavor in the whole wild world. The man they were chasing was faster than them, and he was starting to get away from them when he jumped into a nearby alleyway. Alex and Rahul were closer, but Ryan soon caught up to them. His years of being a swimmer and playing soccer were finally paying off. He saw the man just escape around another corner and chased him down like a Jolteon racing stormclouds. When they came to the center of town, Ryan shouted to the other pedestrians to stop him, but everyone just looked up wide-eyed or went back to what they were doing.

“Go, Swirlie Whirlie!”

“Pidgeooooo!” his Pokémon howled as she flew gracefully from her ball.

“Catch him, girl!” Ryan shouted desperately. “Don’t let him get away.”

Pidgeotto caught her prey near a fruit stand, causing both of them to fall into it, destroying the wooden table and sending melons and jackfruit flying in all directions. Still, the man, who Ryan could see was dressed in a fine suit, wore sunglasses, and a fedora, got up, slapped Swirlie Whirlie off of him and continued to run. He could not go so fast anymore, not with the flying Pokémon constantly harassing him.

Ryan left Rahul and Alex behind, for they were too slow, and pursued the well-dressed thief all the way to the edge of town. The man didn’t stop there. He ran right out of Cerulean City and into the wilderness. He didn’t care about the tall grass or the forests or the streams. He ran through them all, as if he had a max repel on. Ryan was not so fortunate, for he was as penniless as a boy without pennies and could not afford such luxuries, and he had to dodge a Pokémon every 10 or so steps, as they sprung up from the wild with a joyless obligation that made it seem like they were programmed to do so. But being wild Pokémon, that was surely not the case. Ryan just had to push his way past them - the Oddishes, the Bellsprouts, the Venonats - and probably KO’d a few in so doing, for these were of course some of the weakest and most useless wild Pokémon in all of Kanto.

Swirlie Whirlie was yet pecking away at the thief and perhaps even drew blood. At last, the man collapsed on the ground, in the middle of an open field Ryan guessed was quite a ways into Route 24. The man rolled over and raised his left arm. Suddenly, he pulled back his sleeve. Ryan could see a metal computer-device on his wrist. The man fended off Pidgeotto as he punched a few buttons into the device. Then Ryan caught up to him.

“Give me back my Pokémon!” Ryan demanded.

The thief laughed. Ryan noted that his voice was not that of a man’s - he was a boy, probably only a few years older than Ryan himself. “Too late.” The thief held the Poké Ball up to his wrist and a white light shot out of the device and surrounded it. “Boss, I’ve caught another one! I think you’ll like this one a lot!”

And before Ryan could speak or take even another step forward, a bright light covered the thief’s arm, and the Poké Ball disappeared.

“No!!” Ryan rushed forward.

The thief went to stand up. “It’s too late, dude. Your Pokémon’s gone-”

Ryan punched him as hard as he could, knocking them both to the ground. He felt his fists connect over and over again with his foe’s face until he could feel nothing at all. His whole body went numb, and he forgot the pain and tiredness in his body. He could hear himself screaming as he hit the thief, could hear Swirlie Whirlie answering in screams of her own from behind, but it did not seem like he was doing it. He wasn’t meaning to attack this other boy; he wasn’t thinking; he had no control. He felt detached from his body, as if he was merely an onlooker watching two people go at it.

Suddenly, a gust of hot air touched Ryan’s cheek. He felt himself being thrown off the boy. Landing hard in the grass a few feet away, he sat up and peered around, confused. Then, he saw a shadow fall across the ground, and a second later, a Charizard touched down. Upon its back was a girl - no, a woman, Ryan thought.

She had silver hair and dark blue, almost purple eyes, and she wore a delicate sandsilk dress of pink and green. It was breathtaking, enough to make Ryan forget everything, if but for a moment. When she dismounted from her Charizard, the woman immediately walked over to the thief, who was lying still in the grass. Bending down, the woman made sure he was alright, and then stood up and walked towards Ryan. His heart was in his throat, and he didn’t know whether to run from or to her. She’s the most beautiful woman in the world. His fingertips were tingling. From a nearby tree, Ryan’s Pidgeotto let out a long, forlorn cry.

“What were you doing?” she asked him once she reached him. The woman held out a hand and helped Ryan to his feet.

“That guy stole my Pokémon! M-my Dragonair…”

That caused the woman to give Ryan a curious look. “You were beating him up.”

“I know.”

“You shouldn’t have done that.”

“But wh-”

“Quiet.” Her voice was imposing, almost regal. Swirlie Whirlie’s shrieking cut through the air again. “Avarian, tend to the boy. But make sure he does not wake.” She threw a little bag of medicine towards her Charizard.

The fire Pokémon caught it and nodded in obedience.

“Now tell me what happened,” the girl said. “The whole thing.”

“Well, I… I had just won my Cascade Badge, and I was coming out of the gym, and that…” Ryan scowled at the unconscious boy, “th-that… idiot punched me in the face and stole my Dragonair before I knew what happened!”

“And you chased him all the way here?”

Ryan nodded. The girl looked into his eyes. He stared back; there was a flush rising in his cheeks as he did, and it was only broken when the bushes behind the two began to rattle. Ryan and the woman looked over to see Alex and Rahul come running over.

“Did… did… didja miss me?” Alex croaked in that deep, low voice of his. He was panting, but not much. Alex sure has some good endurance, Ryan thought.

Rahul looked like he was about to pass out. He needed an ice cream cone bad, maybe even a canister of ready whip. He’s probably never run that much in his life.

“I caught the stupid thief,” Ryan told the others, “But Thurnax is gone. He teleported her away on that device on his wrist.”

“Where’d he take her?” Alex asked. Ryan shrugged. “H-hey, I know you! You’re Derceyes!” Alex then said, as he got a clearer look at the silver-haired woman. “Aren’t you?”

She nodded serenely, though her face remained expressionless. “It does not surprise me that you have heard of me.”

“If you get some time, I would like to discuss some things with you,” Alex said. “For my research.”

“As you wish. Yet, our most pressing matter now is finding this boy’s lost Dragonair.”

“Do you know where she was sent?” Ryan asked.

Derceyes walked over to the thief and her Charizard. Looking down at them, she said, “I have a hunch. Is he stabilized, Avarian?”

“Rawr!” replied the Charizard.

“Good. You may return to your post.”

The Charizard jumped up and marched off to the far side of the clearing, where it held its guard. Its eyes stayed on Rahul, Alex, and Ryan, though, and that made the teal-haired boy more than a little uncomfortable.

Derceyes knelt by the unconscious boy’s side and pulled up his sleeve, revealing the device he had used to transport Thurnax’s Poké Ball. “Just as I suspected,” she said. “He’s a member of the Painted Dragons. Strange… he is still a boy.”

“Painted Dragons?” Ryan was confused.

“A gang. One of the most powerful in Kanto, now that the older gangs are starting to lose power and die off.” She pulled the thief’s shirt up even further, showing that his arm was totally covered in tattoos of Pokémon - this one had Staryus, Starmies, Seakings (heck yeah!), and Gyarados painted across his flesh. It was the most bizarre sight Ryan had ever seen. “There’s been a power vacuum these past few years, ever since Team Rocket began to decline. The Painted Dragons were the first to seize on the opportunity to become the new mega gang of Kanto. They have been growing steadily these last few years, and I’m sure by now, they are running operations in almost every major city. I have tried to stop them before, but I don’t know where their base is. They steal Pokémon all the time, often never to be seen again. I don’t know what they do with those they steal, or where they take them.” She took the fedora and sunglasses off of the boy’s now-swollen face and looked him over. “He’s not as old as I had imagined. Most of the Painted Dragons are adults. This one is just a kid. It looks like their influence and ranks are growing larger and more diverse.”

“We have to get Thurnax back.”

Derceyes stood up and looked at the three. “Do all of you have Pokémon? Pokémon who can fight?”

They nodded in unison.

“We’re all really good trainers,” Ryan boasted.

“I’m the Doctor!” Rahul wheezed from the ground.

Alex remained silent, picking at the remnants of Rahul’s ice cream cone in his hair and licking his fingers thoughtfully. He was probably thinking about when he would have to do the dishes or go to Kung Fu on Wednesdays, which would then require him to take a shower immediately afterwards and take up roughly four hours that he could have otherwise used to train his Pokémon.

“In that case,” Derceyes began, “I may have an idea for how to get your Dragonair back.” She stepped forward and threw three Poké Balls. Out from them came three Dragonites. Ryan nearly fell to the ground in astonishment.

“Dragonite, the Dragon Pokémon,” Dex told them. “It is said that this Pokémon lives somewhere in the sea and that it flies. However, it is only a rumor.”

“Wow, that is so cool. How did you get so many Dragonites? Aren’t they like super rare? Do you use them to fight?” Ryan asked, his voice rising.

Derceyes smiled slightly. “I am the mother of dragons… but I have spent too long fighting these criminals and thieves. I cannot be everywhere at once, cannot take on an entire organization by myself. But with you three here, together, we can destroy the Painted Dragons; we can return the Pokémon they have stolen; we can remind them what happened to those who came before them.” She walked over to her three Dragonites, who stood loyal and unmoving, like soldiers in regimented lines. “Vengeance,” she whispered as she passed the first one. “Justice,” she whispered as she walked past the second. “Freedom,” she said as she made her way to the third Dragonite. Then, she walked over to her Charizard, who stood away from the rest. “Fire and blood,” she whispered so softly, Ryan almost missed it, “for every one of them. They are not dragons like me. Fire cannot kill a dragon.”


“M’lady”, Ryan said, tipping his fedora.

The woman did not respond. Getting off her motorcycle, she approached the boy with a scowl on her face. “How did you get lost out here?”

He shrugged. “Chasing Pokémon.”

“Fool. Let’s go. The boss won’t be pleased.”

Ryan clambered into the sidecar of the Painted Dragon’s motorcycle. Once he settled in, he wiped his sweaty palms on the slacks of his suit. This has got to work, he thought. Just stay calm. He was all dressed up, his sunglasses and fedora masking much of his face. They would never know he wasn’t the thief who stole Thurnax, so long as Ryan didn’t mess up. Just gotta find their base, the boy thought over and over in his head.

The ride was blindingly fast, awkward and silent. He didn’t so much as look at his driver, lest he make a mistake. He felt the device on his wrist, thinking back to how he had called up the Painted Dragons’ headquarters. I don’t think they suspected anything, but this could be a trap. Gotta stay on guard. He had five Pokémon: Abra, Aegon, NaVorro, Swirlie Whirlie, and Myrrah. They’re gonna get a lot of work today. Maybe Aegon’ll even evolve. There’s no way I’m leaving without Thurnax.

The woman drove the two around the eastern side of Cerulean City, just outside the city’s limits. They passed by a waterfall, and then the woman pressed a button on her motorcycle. At once, the waterfall receded, revealing a hidden cave beyond. And into it, the two sped.

Once inside, the two dismounted, and the woman said, “Go see Lieutenant Miyazaki. He’s not pleased with you.”

“Why? I found a great Dragonair!” Ryan tried to sound as threatening as he could, but he feared his tone just came off as lame. Regardless, the woman didn’t seem to notice.

“You’re expected to catch valuable Pokémon. That’s your job. Getting lost is not. The Lieutenant’s gonna rip you a new one,” she said, relishing the thought. “And don’t think about hiding from him. You wouldn’t want to make the boss wait.”

“Okay, okay. I’ll go.” Ryan threw his arms in the air. “Just stop the nagging!”

But when Ryan left the girl in the garage, he made his way to the nearest room instead. Inside it, he found the place mostly empty, with a few dusty boxes of rope and jackets and Poké Balls, a couple empty rusty cages, and a large, partially broken lamp that looked like a woman’s leg stuck in the corner. Once he was sure no one else was in there, he took the transponder that Derceyes had given him out of his pocket and pressed the button.

“Well, looks like they’ll be here soon. Let’s do this thing,” he said to the dusty nothingness.

Ryan was reaching for his Poké Balls when a voice responded. “Uh, hello? Is anyone there?”

Ryan jumped back, but he remained silent. I’ll take this guy out first. He can’t let anyone else know I’m here yet. Not till the others get here!

“Uh, I just heard a voice. Hello? Heh, I know someone is in here.”

“Who’s there?” Ryan asked, suspiciously.

“It’s me, David Liebe Hart!”

“Who?”

“Heh, well, you know I was abducted by the Corinians. I need to get out of here!”

Ryan walked around the boxes he thought he had already checked and found a man chained to a pole. In front of him was a plate with a half-eaten grilled cheese sandwich on it. There sat a pathetic-looking man, mostly bald (what hair remained reminded Ryan of those fancy trimmed bushes that rich people have in their yards) and dark-skinned with glasses and many a wrinkle on his face.

“Who are the Corinians?” asked Ryan.

“There are other humanoids from, uh, another star, living among us! My favorite race is called the Corinians. They abduct me all the time. See, when you see them, they say ‘Salame’ for hello and goodbye!”

Ryan raised an eyebrow. “Dude, Salame.”

As the trainer went to leave, David Liebe Hart lunged forward as far as he could (which was no more than a few inches). “Please, take me on board your beautiful ship!”

“I’m not a Corinian!”

“Salame!” David Liebe Hart replied. Then, he produced a massive hand puppet from the darkness that was about as large as him. It looked like if Alf had been microwaved on the popcorn setting. “I wrote a song about them!” David screamed in falsetto, perhaps attempting to be a ventriloquist, but it didn’t work, for he still moved his own mouth when he talked in a very obvious way. “Let’s sing along, boys and girls!” the man screamed.

Leaving David Liebe Hart behind, Ryan returned to the hallway and saw several members of the Painted Dragons - all dressed in suits, fedoras, and sunglasses (even though they were inside in a poorly-lit underground secret base) - run by him. They were shouting orders to one another, preparing to battle someone. Looks like the others have arrived. Perfect.

All of the lights turned red, and a deafening horn began to reverberate through the bunker. Then, a voice came on the loudspeakers: “Intruder alert! Intruder alert! All Enforcers and Painted Dragon personnel with active Pokémon are required to make their way to the main entrance to battle a group of intruders trying to make their way into the base. Protect the base! Anyone who tries to hide or refuses to fight will be swiftly punished. Push the invaders back! Do not let them in! This is Lieutenant Miyazaki speaking. Over and out.”

Ryan fell in with the next group of Painted Dragons who went running down the hall, though he was sure to remain in the back. When they came to the garage where the woman had dropped him off, Ryan caught a glimpse of Rahul, Alex, and Derceyes standing calmly on the far side of the room. Derceyes had four Dragonites out - though one was green-skinned instead of the standard orange - as well as a Charizard and a Gyarados.

Rahul had his full team out and ready to battle, too: a Lapras, a Rhyhorn, a Kadabra, a Magnemite, a Charizard, and a Dragonair. Alex’s team consisted of: an Exeggutor, a Starmie, a Charmeleon, a Jolteon, a Tauros, and a Golem.

The Painted Dragons, this well-dressed group of Pokémon thieves, threw their own Poké Balls in answer. Dozens of Pokémon emerged - Raticates, Magmars, Pinsirs, Haunters, Kadabras, Hitmonlees, Hitmonchans, Gyarados, Raichus, Golbats, Electrodes, and many more. There were far too many for Ryan to count.

“Aw come on, they outnumber us three to one, at least!” Rahul yelled from the far end of the room.

“Heh, then it’ll be an even fight,” Alex replied. “Pokémon, go!”

The three sent their Pokémon forward, with Derceyes taking the lead. She spoke not a word, even as the other two directed their Pokémons’ every move. Ryan was in awe as he watched the Dragonites soar into the field of battle, using Body Slams, Hyper Beams, Blizzards, Surfs, and Wrap attacks. He even saw one take out an opposing Cloyster, a Pokémon that should have wrecked a Dragonite, with a mere Thunderbolt.

“Dang, she’s got some strong Pokémon,” Ryan muttered to himself. “Alright, let’s show everyone what we’ve got too!”

Ryan threw his Poké Balls out into the open.

Ryan’s five Pokémon shot forward, hitting the Painted Dragons’ legions from behind. Many a Golbat and Electrode fell that day to the stampeding force of Tauros and the flames of Aegon and the whirlwinds of Swirlie Whirlie. After a few moments, some of the gang members realized that they were also being attacked from behind. At first they were confused - Ryan was wearing the same garb as them. He was one of them. And yet, he was also, inexplicably, attacking them.

“Huh, what’re you-” one guy managed to get out before Ryan shouted: “Abra, Psychic!”

That shut that thief up real good. Seeing his side winning the battle, Ryan recalled his Pokémon. “Looks like Rahul and the others have this battle just about wrapped up. Come on, let’s go find Thurnax!”

Ryan began to run down the carpeted, if cramped, hallways. At first, he didn’t meet anyone. He figured the entire base’s forces were battling his friends. But, perhaps, that was not true. For when he pushed his way through a door and came into a new room, there he was met by an older man in the outfit of his organization, sipping red liquid from a glass. When he saw Ryan, he chuckled mildly.

“What are you doing here, grunt? Get back to the battle.”

“I’m not with you,” Ryan grinned. “If you don’t move, I’ll have my Pokémon make you.”

The man laughed and then threw three Poké Balls. Ryan directed his Tauros forward.

Out from the man’s Poké Balls came three Magikarp. They flopped about on the carpet gasping and panicking, shouting “carp, carp, carp!” ceaselessly. When the man saw that Ryan’s Pokémon of choice was a Tauros, he dropped his glass. “Oh my word!”

It almost didn’t feel fair, how easily Ryan beat that old man. He had thought, upon first glance, that such a man could only have been Miyazaki, or perhaps one of the higher-ranking members of the Painted Dragons. Yet, it appeared he was amongst the worst trainers in the history of the world.

One last charge by Tauros sent the man running for the hills, and Ryan was able to move onward. In the next room, he found two women in white lab coats huddling over a table.

Ripping off his fedora and sunglasses, Ryan rushed up to the two. “Where’s my Dragonair?”

The two women looked up, startled, and then glanced at one another. “Who are you, kid?” one asked.

“We don’t have any Dragonairs…” the other said.

“Liars! Aegon, Abra, go!”

His two Pokémon rushed forward, and though the women each threw a ball of their own - releasing a Butterfree and a Venomoth - Aegon’s Fire Blast and Abra’s Psychic easily took them out. Upon seeing their Pokémon defeated, the two scientists scurried out of the room in humiliation.

“Huh? What is this place?” Ryan asked. His Pokémon all grumbled in surprise as well. For on the walls around them, in little cages, were many a Ditto.

“Ditto, the Transform Pokémon,” Dex stated as Ryan pointed the little red device at all of the caged animals around him. “When it spots an enemy, its body transforms into an almost perfect copy of its opponent.”

A few began to do just that as Ryan’s Pokémon went up to the nearest cages to check them out. “We don’t have time to let them out,” Ryan reminded his team. “After we get Thurnax back, we’ll free everyone. I promise. Come on!”

So off they went, deeper and deeper into the base. Ryan met few people here - those he did, he dealt with quickly. Only the lowly grunts even tried to send out Pokémon against him, and like the ones he had already faced, they did not seem to have very powerful Pokémon.

“Why do all of you use Raticates?!” Ryan bellowed at the fifth one he defeated. “That Pokémon is useless!”

“We’re the bad guys, and Raticate is a bad guy Pokémon, eek!” the Painted Dragon cried before fleeing.

“Man these guys are lame.”

The next few rooms were long hallways, with rows and rows of cages on either side, stacked all the way up to the ceiling. Inside were Pokémon of all sorts. The stolen Pokémon, Ryan realized. Thurnax must be in one of these cages. He went down the rows until he came to a section where Arcanines looked out at him with soft growls and yellow eyes. They think I’m with the Painted Dragons. Ryan clenched his fists. Once I get Thurnax, I’ll let all of you out. I will!

There were two people - one man and one woman - ahead of Ryan, inspecting one of the cages. These two were dressed in fancy white suits, and neither was wearing a fedora. When they saw Ryan, they didn’t seem to think anything of it.

“What are you doing here?” the man asked. “Did the boss allow you in?”

“I’m not with you idiots,” Ryan proclaimed. “I’m here to get my Dragonair back!”

The two people jumped back. Suddenly, Ryan’s five Pokémon sprung out from behind him and ran up to the two. They were spoiling for a fight.

“So you’re the one who broke into our base. All for a Dragonair?” the woman said, a bit of sarcasm in her voice. “That’s so cute.”

“My Dragonair has been with me for a long time,” Ryan contended. “She’s my Pokémon and my friend! I won’t let anyone take her from me!”

The man laughed. “We’ve probably already sold her. The demand for dragon-type Pokémon is huge.”

Ryan grit his teeth. “You better not have. If she’s gone, I’ll make you pay.”

“Nieieieieieieie!!!” came the shriek from a nearby crate. Ryan knew that voice.

“Thurnax!”

“Neieie!!”

Ryan ran past the two Painted Dragons, down the hall until he came upon his Dragonair. She was locked in a cage on the right side, on ground level. Ryan scowled when he saw her - she was strapped down to the inside of the cage with several different chains. And she looked as weak and tired as she did scared. Ryan put his hand through the bars to pet her.

“It’s okay, Thurnax, we’re going to get you out of there! Aegon, burn the bars off!”

“Char, meleon!” the Charmeleon replied, bounding on over.

“Hey, you can’t steal from us!” the woman shouted. “That Pokémon is property of the Painted Dragons Cereulean branch!”

“You stole her from me in the first place. I’m taking her back,” the boy replied.

The man and woman shook their heads. “We’re Painted Dragon admins! No one talks to us like that!”

And thus, the two threw two Poké Balls each - and out came a Persian, a Rhydon, a Vaporeon, and Marrowak. Ryan’s four remaining Pokémon attacked these other Pokémon at once, with Ryan shouting commands to each one of them, even as Aegon continued to burn through the metal bars.

“Myrrah, Aurora beam that Rhydon! Abra, hit that Marrowak with a Psychic attack! NaVorro, Stomp that Vaporeon! Swirlie Whirlie!!! Hit Persian with a Quick Attack!” Ryan said, with all of his authority. He felt like a real Pokémon trainer then, directing all of his loyal buddies at once. He felt in command for once.

The admins were shouting out commands for their Pokémon as well, but in the chaos of battle, Ryan could not focus on what they were doing. He had to think ahead, to prepare for the next round of attacks. He knew that he had to get Persian out of there quick, as well as Rhydon. So after the first round, in which only Abra’s attack KO’d a Pokémon, he regrouped, and set everyone after Rhydon except for his Tauros. Tauros Stomped Persian this time, but Persian used Bite. When all was said and done, the Rhydon had gone down, but NaVorro had too, as had Swirlie Whirlie.

“Curses! Abra, Myrrah, attack Persian together!” The Persian hit Abra first, instantly KOing him. Ryan was forced to return his Pokémon just as he watched Myrrah hit Persian with an Aurora Beam. The attack KO’d the poor kitty, leaving Vaporeon and Myrrah to duke it out.

The Vaporeon shot Myrrah with Water Gun, but as we all know, that is a terrible idea, so Myrrah was not affected very much.

“Alright, Myrrah, this one’s for all the marbles! Spike Cannon!”

His Cloyster obeyed, shooting three spikes at the Vaporeon. The lumbering eeveelution was hit head on by all three attacks, and on the third consecutive hit, it fell over, unconscious. Ryan had won - if barely. He let out a sigh of relief. The two admins fell over in horror and anguish.

“How could we lose?!” said the woman. “We’re admins!”

“No fair, he cheated! I know he used some of our superiorly-bred Pokémon! That’s the only way he could have beaten us!”

Ryan turned away from the now Pokémon-less airbags. “Nearly there, Aegon?”

“Char, char!”

“Great!”

Ryan could see the metals bars turning white hot, getting close to melting. Ryan was struck by how awesome his Charmeleon was, how much more efficient he was than a 767 would have been. Jet fuel can’t melt steel beams. Just as Charmeleon was cutting through, even weakening and beginning to melt the chains that lined the metal floor of Thurnax’s crate, he was thrown forward, into the metal bars, covered in a veil of electricity, and then crumpled on the ground, unconscious. Ahead, Myrrah shot itself at this new attacker, but she was hit by a burst of electricity as well, and fell with a sickening crunch onto the ground, KO’d.

“Raichu!” came the boisterous voice of a Pokémon.

For a second, Ryan’s heart fluttered. Kelly, he thought. But no, that was wrong. Kelly wouldn’t attack me. No…!

Ahead of him, a man came striding into view. Ryan returned his last defeated Pokémon to their Poké Balls and realized he had no one left to challenge this man. The man wore an expensive-looking purple suit and purple-shaded sunglasses. His hair was long, spiky, and black, pulled back with gel. His face was clean-shaven. He wore gloves, and in his hand was a bejeweled Ultra Ball. His Raichu ran over to him after defeating Ryan’s last two Pokémon.

“Nice suit you’ve got there, kid,” the man said, with a little smile. He took a cigar out of his pants pocket and lit it. Placing it into his mouth, he walked over to the two admins who had collapsed on the floor. “Get out of here, before I have my Raichu shock you into the next world!” he roared, and the two fled. Turning back to Ryan, the man’s smile returned. “End of the line, kid. Looks like you’re out of Pokémon. You may as well give up now.”

“I’m not leaving without my Dragonair!”

“You ain’t got a Dragonair anymore. All of the Pokémon in this place belong to me, Lieutenant Miyazaki! They are official property of the Painted Dragon clan! Now, I’ll give you this option only once: turn around and leave. Or, you can stay and feel the wrath of my Raichu! Your choice, really.”

“Raichu!” Miyazaki’s Raichu laughed devilishly.

Ryan clenched his fists and frowned. He had once faced a tough guy with a Raichu. That had resulted in his first-ever Gym Badge. He didn’t want to back down now and lose Thurnax forever. He owed his Dragonair that much. I have to fight to the end.

“I’m not leaving! I’m taking my Pokémon home.”

“Fine, kid. Suit yourself. But this is gonna be a waste of a really nice suit. Oh well. Raichu, use Thunderbolt!”

Episode 21: Long, Tan, and Handsome

“Chu!!” the Raichu screamed, materializing a cloud of electricity around it.

Ryan flinched, waiting on the electric shock that would surely jolt him all the way back to R'lyeh, when all of a sudden he heard the snapping of metal, the breaking of chains, and the scream of a Pokémon he knew well.

“Neieieieie!” came the indistinct scream; it was one that sounded like a crusty homeless man trying to sing Creep but forgetting half of the lyrics.

Ryan knew that scream. Thurnax! Out from her cage, which had been partially melted by noble Aegon (the first of his name), came the blue dragon. The Raichu sent out its Thunderbolt attack, but it was too late. Thurnax soared through the air and intercepted the electricity, taking it head on. And since we all know that dragons are resistant to electric attacks, this Thunderbolt didn’t do much to Thurnax at all. Indeed, she kept soaring right through the electrical cloud and hit the Raichu hard in the stomach. The Raichu screamed in pain and flew through the air like a ragdoll before crumpling at the feet of its well-dressed master. Lieutenant Miyazaki was quite upset with this, and he began to curse and spit and rant, but I can’t repeat his words since this is of course a family-friendly story. Suffice to say, Mr. Miyazaki was not pleased with Thurnax breaking out of her cage.

Thurnax landed just in front of Ryan, keeping one eye on the Raichu. Ryan ran up to her. “Aw, Thurnax, you saved me!” His eyes were brimming with tears. When he placed his hand on her neck to pet her, suddenly Thurnax’s entire body began radiating with white light. She looked back at Ryan for but a moment before being swallowed whole in the blinding whiteness. Ryan stepped back, his mouth agape.

“Impossible! Raichu, stop this madness!” Miyazaki screamed.

His Raichu flung itself forward and shot Thunderbolt after Thunderbolt at Thurnax’s radiant visage, but all of them bounced off harmlessly. The cigar fell from Miyazaki’s mouth; sweat covered his skin and he looked horrified. As the explosion of light died down, Thurnax stepped forward, and Ryan saw her not as she had been before. No, Thurnax had changed. She had evolved.

“No way! That’s so awesome!” Ryan yelled at the top of his lungs. There before him stood the orange-skinned dragon Pokémon that was, of course, Dragonite. “You’re a Dragonite! Woohoo! I have a Dragonite!”

Miyazaki stepped back and sneered. “Alright, kid. This ends now. Your Pokémon may have evolved, but she’s no match for six of mine, ha ha ha!” The Painted Dragons Lieutenant threw five Poké Balls, and out from them came a Mr. Mime, a Nidoking, a Tentacruel, a Dodrio, and a Ninetails. “See if your Dragonite can take on six Pokémon at once!”

“Crap!” Ryan said, slinking his shoulders forward. “This’s gonna be a heckuva test, Thurnax,” Ryan said. “But don’t worry! You’re a Dragonite now! You’re the most powerful Pokémon in the world, yeah!!”

“Brawaaah!” Thurnax bellowed, her voice cracking in determination.

Just before Ryan and his new Dragonite were about to charge Miyazaki’s six, the door on the far side of the room slammed open. “Wait!” came the voice of a woman. Derceyes, Ryan knew. “Stop!” Her hair was smoke-streaked, and her cheeks were flushed and covered in ash. Even so, Derceyes marched forward, beautiful as a new dawn. Two Dragonites flanked her. “Let all of these Pokémon go,” she said, gesturing widely to the cages around her, “and we’ll let you go.”

“Fat chance,” the man responded, coolly. “I’m the leader here. You’re going to see the full might of the Painted Dragons now! No one disrespects me! You four,” he nodded to Mr. Mime, Nidoking, Ninetails, and Tentacruel, “fight her!” He left Raichu and Dodrio for Ryan and Thurnax. “Let’s show these meddlesome fools who we really are!”

Ryan gulped. “Alright, girl. Let’s do this! I know you can take on two of that evil guy’s Pokémon. You’re a Dragonite! You’re the best!”

“Brah!!”

“Yeah, I agree!”

From the other side, Derceyes remained calm as four Pokémon came to challenge her two Dragonites. “Berion, Shiraxes, take two each. You know what you need to do.”

The two Dragonites nodded and split off into the air, flying high to the ceiling of the large warehouse building. Ryan turned his focus back to his own foes - a Raichu and a Dodrio.

“Okay, Thurnax, use Agility!”

Thurnax grunted in understanding, but before it could enact its attack, Miyazaki roared, “Raichu, Thunderbolt! Dodrio, Drill Peck!”

The Painted Dragon’s Pokémon were faster than Thurnax, so their attack each hit Ryan’s Pokémon first. It appeared to Ryan, though, that neither the Thunderbolt, which he knew was a poor move to use against a dragon, nor the Drill Peck did much damage. Thurnax let out a small cry when she was shocked and pecked, but she remained steadfast all the same. After absorbing the attacks, she took to the sky and built up her speed.

“Same attacks,” Miyazaki roared. “Take that Dragonite down!”

“Body Slam Raichu,” Ryan ordered his Pokémon.

Silly dude, Ryan thought. Either he’s dumb, or he’s too preoccupied with having to fight Derceyes too. Otherwise he wouldn’t be ordering his Raichu to use so many electric attacks. This time, however, Dragonite held the edge in speed. Before her foes could attack her, Thurnax flew high in the air with her now-superior speed. In a blinding flash of light, she descended upon the poor Raichu, covering it in a Body Slam so vicious that it rattled the building and left a crater in its wake. When Thurnax stood up, unhurt, the Raichu lay there slumped and long-fainted.

“Yeah, great work Thurnax!”

Yet, there was still a Dodrio, that cursed ugly bird that looked like a couple of dandelions glued together. It sprinted forward and pecked the heck out of Ryan’s Dragonite, hurting her a little, but not much. That angered Ryan. No one attacks Dragonite like that. She just got a KO! That’s not fair. Dodrio isn’t playing fair… so I guess we won’t either.

“If you’re gonna play dirty like that, then so will we!” Ryan shouted to the man standing across the room. “Thurnax, use Wrap!”

“No! Oh, no! Not that move! Any move but that one! Please, I’m begging you! I know I’m a villain, but even I have standards!” Miyazaki spit. He fell to his knees, which was a terrible rookie mistake. Ryan knew the man’s radical purple pants would be ruined now. It was a crying shame.

Regardless, Thurnax rushed forward and wrapped the Dodrio around its tail, squeezing it and squeezing it and squeezing it. And then when it was Dodrio’s turn to attack, well, the Dragonite just wrapped it up again, because Wrap is broken and what were the designers of Pokémon thinking of? I don’t know, but it’s pretty ridiculous that such a broken move could have gotten through all the playtesting. After another series of Wraps, which were admittedly not that powerful, Dodrio looked like it was at about half health, at least to Ryan’s well-tuned eyes.

“Body Slam to finish it!” he ordered Thurnax.

“Braahahahahahwrah!” the Dragonite roared. The power of his Pokémon, both in voice and force, gave Ryan goosebumps. Mom and dad would be so proud.

Dodrio staggered to its feet and had time enough to squawk before it was buried just as Raichu had been. When the dust cleared, Ryan saw his Pokémon stand up and Miyazaki’s stay on the ground. He had won.

Elsewhere, Derceyes’ two Dragonites were using Hyper Beams to clean up the mess. The Painted Dragon leader’s four remaining Pokémon were wiped out rather effortlessly by the two dragons, leaving that man, improbably, as the only one in the room without a Pokémon to battle.

“Y-you cheated!” he spit, his eyes wild as a hungry Newman. “Dragonite is OP! The boss is gonna hear about this, I promise you that!”

“This operation you have led is a disgrace. Stealing Pokémon from the people of Cerulean City and doing who knows what with them… it’s disgusting. You don’t understand that Pokémon are living beings! You just see them as things to sell and buy - ways to make money. It’s a disgrace. You are no true dragon!” Derceyes said, stepping forward. Then she thrust her hand forward, pointing at Miyazaki. “Avarian, dracarys!”

At once, the silver-haired woman’s Charizard appeared shooting down the room, coming through the hallway from the far door, flying as fast as the winds. The fell beast reached Miyazaki, its snout extended, and its mouth frothing with dragonflame. Miyazaki’s eyes bugged out and he tore off his purple suit in hysteria. Screaming like a Clefairy surfing down the side of Mt. Moon at 1 a.m., the first Lieutenant of the Painted Dragons fled the room, Avarian hot on his heels.

Derceyes strode over to Ryan. “Well done, Ryan. You and your Dragonite performed well.”

“T-thanks!” Ryan stuttered, his face going red. He scratched the back of his head and laughed nervously, “It was really Thurnax who did most of the work!”

“Indeed,” she said, walking over to Ryan’s Dragonite. Putting her hand to the Dragonite’s flesh, she murmured something Ryan could not hear.

In reply, Thurnax let out a bellow.

That took Derceyes aback. She looked back and forth between the two several times before settling on Ryan. “Where did you get this Dragonite?” she asked him.

“I found her near Fuchsia City a few weeks ago. She was wounded and alone, and I thought her owner abandoned her, so I took her to the nearest Pokémon Center. And afterwards,” he shook his head, “Thurnax decided to join my group and help me win some Gym Badges!”

A small smile crept up across Derceyes’ face like a single flame flittering across a sheet of paper. “Dragonites are rare in the wild. Finding one on land like that is most unusual. It is also… unusual that when you found this Pokémon, one of my own Dragonairs had recently gone missing. I have yet to find her. But,” she said with a glimmer in her eye, “it appears I won’t have to look for her any longer.”

Ryan’s jaw dropped. “H-hey, wait. You mean… you mean Thurnax is your Pokémon?!” Maybe that’s why Thurnax is so powerful. I never meant to steal a Pokémon from Derceyes!

Derceyes walked past Ryan and did not answer. “We will have to let these Pokémon out. My Dragonites can do that.” She turned back to Ryan and Thurnax. “Make sure the way is clear for us. Rahul and Alex have been holding off the rest of the Painted Dragons, but I do not know how well they are faring now. Go see.”

“Okay.” Ryan and Thurnax ran down to the other side of the room, to the door where Miyazaki had run through. He looked over at Thurnax and grinned. “I thought we’d try fighting our way out - y’know, mix things up a little. What do you say, girl?”

“Braharawr!”

Thurnax knelt down and Ryan climbed on her back. Then, she spread her wings and began to accelerate down the carpeted hallways of the secret Painted Dragon base. These hallways Ryan had once tread, going the other way. He never thought he would be leaving on the back of a Dragonite. It was awesome feeling the wind through his hair.

Numerous grunts were running this way and that, perhaps fleeing from Rahul and Alex or drifting about in confusion now that Miyazaki had been defeated. Either way, Thurnax pushed her way past all of them, knocking them and their Pokémon unconscious with her wings and tail.

They came upon Rahul and Alex in a great open intersection between various hallways and rooms. There, they stood, their Pokémon on all sides of them, surrounded by Painted Dragons. The fighting was intense and blindingly fast - Ryan could barely see what was going on. Amid the smoke and chaos, Thurnax came stumbling in, breaking a hole through the Painted Dragons’ circle. She landed and immediately began to attack and subdue any and all of the enemy Pokémon she could find.

Ahead of them, on a pile of defeated trainers and Pokémon, stood Alex with his Charmeleon. Two Bellsprouts charged the two, and Charmeleon beat them back with flames. Then, a Scyther raced towards it, and a single, more powerful blast of fire decimated it. The Scyther fell over, as did its trainer, who appeared to be charred like a well-done steak. The nearby wall caught on fire, and the Painted Dragons nearby began to flee. Yet, Ryan’s eyes stayed on the Charmeleon, for he saw that as soon as it had defeated the Scyther, it became enshrouded in white light - just as Thurnax had earlier. Awesome, it’s evolving. Looks like everyone’s getting a lot of experience from this!

And before Ryan could even blink, the light cleared, and standing next to Alex was not a Charmeleon, but a Charizard, the fiercest and coolest of the starter Pokémon.

“Heck, it’s about time,” Alex muttered, patting his new Charizard on the neck. “It didn’t make sense for a trainer of my level to have a mere Charmeleon.”

“Well, we dealt with that pretty logically, didn’t we?!” Ryan shouted, but Alex didn’t hear him in the commotion of battle.

Together, the three friends cleared out the rest of the Painted Dragons, KOing all of their Pokémon and forcing them to follow their Lieutenant off into the sunset of despair. When it was all said and done, they returned their Pokémon to their Poké Balls and helped Derceyes set the rest of the Pokémon in the cages free. As the building began to burn, they all fled with the Pokémon, who, though scared, realized that the four people had set them free - these four were not with the Painted Dragons, no siree. Thus it was that the four and perhaps a few hundred Pokémon made their way out of the secret entrance of the Painted Dragons’ secret base and marched off into the rugged, wild land of Route 24. Derceyes assured the group that she would take the Pokémon back to Cerulean City, to the police office, where they would be held until their owners could be alerted that they were there and could go retrieve them.

“It’s getting late,” Derceyes commented, as they continued to walk. Indeed, it was. The sun was beginning to set. “Why don’t you come back to my home for the night? You don’t have to stay if you don’t want to, but I have food and beds and plenty of Pokémon to keep you company.”

Ryan’s stomach rumbled. He was reminded of the crazy day he had had - from challenging Misty to chasing down the thief to fighting the Painted Dragons. He was exhausted. He was hungry. He didn’t want to do anything else except fall into bed. So he looked at the others, and when he saw that they were nearly as weary as him, he nodded to the silver-haired girl.

“Alright, we’ll stay the night.”

Off into the sunset, they plodded on. Rahul took out a Poké Ball and shoved it in Ryan’s face as they went “Hey Ryan, look. My Rhyhorn evolved into a Rhydon.”

“That’s great Rahul. Maybe if you would have come up with a cool line to say when he evolved, like Alex did, I might’ve noticed.”


Her title of ‘Mother of Dragons’ could not have been more apt. Dratinis, Dragonairs, Charmanders, and Charmeleons crawled around Derceyes’ home like many little children, eager to help and get the attention of their mother. Derceyes had them all help make dinner for Ryan and the others, though Ryan was more amazed at the sheer quantity of dragon and dragon-like Pokémon this woman owned. He let Thurnax out of her ball so that his former Dragonair could reunite with her old friends and family.

Derceyes invited her old uncle George over to the feast, and he was most pleased by the selection of food that was being prepared. Like Rahul, he was a big man, and he had a long, messy white beard. He wore dark overalls and a sailor’s cap, and he carried a large appetite. He liked to grunt to himself and talk about his favorite child, Hugo (which angered Derceyes quite a bit), but no one wanted to listen to an old man babble, so they just ignored that.

Awaiting the group were tables and tables of delicacies: baked chicken glazed with sweet orange sauce and brushed with just a hint of red peppers; baked, lightly buttered naan; pots and pots of ramen, fragranced with chopped green onions, whisked eggs, white pepper, and shrimp; roasted vegetables with potatoes sprinkled with cheese; creamy risotto with buttered mushrooms and melted parmesan; lightly battered Magikarp tails with golden, crispy chips; hot Krabby pie with crumbled cheese and lemon juice; and tall glasses of orange juice for everyone. Chubby George particularly enjoyed the orange juice, but that was not something for Ryan, or Alex. Kelly would’ve liked this, Ryan thought then, and he felt quite lonely, despite the feasting going on around him.

Soon, the Pokémon joined in, and it was pure pandemonium. Roasted onions, red rice salad with pecans and fennel coarse black pepper, and strained tortellini with bruschetta filling, bathed lightly in garlic and olive sauce and tossed with tomatoes, began getting passed around. George engorged himself, as if he had never eaten before. Grease ran down his mouth and into his beard as he shoved handfuls of chocolate-covered bacon into his mouth. He grunted in pleasure and roared:

“More, more, more! More food descriptions! This is symbolic!” Spittle flew from his mouth and into his beard, running down with the grease to form a waterfall of liquid that culminated in a nice puddle in Uncle George’s plump lap.

Derceyes nodded and silently produced many more dishes with her Pokémon servants. Ryan had barely helped himself to a nibble of one or two plates before plates of boiled quail egg salad - full with basil and white pepper and yellow mustard and watercress and leafy, iceberg lettuce - and piping hot plates of red and green and yellow tofu curry with rice and flat noodles with vegetable medley were brought forth. These curries swam in sauces of butter and spice, and George felt as if it was his prerogative to lower his face into them and blow, to essentially be a pig amongst mud, to frolick and eat and taste and be content. With how happy this made George, Ryan wondered how the man got through the days he couldn’t feast.

Soon came the pizzas, of the anchovy and pineapple variety, and fish tacos, decorated lavishly with cilantro, white cabbage, red and green onions, sour cream, and a good helping of salsa. When George saw those on approach, he began to lick his lips and rub his belly really hard.

“Mine, mine, mine! Ooh, gimme! Mexican food is my specialty!” He reached out and took all of the fish tacos off of the massive silver serving plate a Charmeleon was carrying over. In the blink of an eye, he downed all of them and then burped long and hard, patting his belly once again. Grease continued to run down his mouth and into his beard, though he was no longer eating. Ryan had no idea what was going on with this man. “Ah, reminds me of my childhood,” he said wistfully.

In comparison to Uncle George, Ryan, Rahul, and Alex were all rather tame in their eating, and indeed, even Rahul, who was known for his unabashed serial gluttony, looked like a Victorian mistress in the company of George. In fact, after a few moments, Ryan became so disgusted by what he was seeing that he got up to leave. The whole room was getting hot, and he was sweating. He had reached beyond the point of being tired, and he felt lucid again. His body was weak and ached with tiredness, but his mind was awakened anew, and he couldn’t just sit around watching the old hog eating endless plates of food. Pokémon and people were roaring with laughter; there were so many conversations going on that Ryan couldn’t make out what anyone was saying, though he could hear them all talking at once. It was pure noise, chaotic in its inanity. When he got up, he passed by a Charmeleon carrying a plate of fresh, cold sushi. Ryan turned around and saw that old George was snorting jello shots off of the belly of a Dratini. This place is nuts. I have to get out of here. In the midst of the childish nattering and feasting in Derceyes’ house, no one noticed him walking out.

Ryan went for the door when he bumped into Derceyes, whose face was also flushed. Her eyes, he noticed, were not in fact a deep blue color. They were purple - a delicate shade of summer lilac. That made his heart beat just a little bit faster. She smiled cheekily. “Need some fresh air?”

“Y-yeah, it’s getting crazy in here.”

Derceyes opened the door, and the two stepped outside. The gust of bitter wind that met their faces was a welcome relief, one that made Ryan feel like he had broken free of the hot, sweaty lunacy that was taking place in that house.

The woman sighed. “My uncle is always like that. He likes food too much. I’m sure some of it is symbolic, and a lot of it tastes good, but he goes overboard. I don’t know that I’ve met anyone who likes food as much as him.”

“It shows,” Ryan said. “I thought Rahul was a big man.”

Derceyes chuckled. “Rahul has a long way to go before he can equal my uncle’s size.”

They walked down from Derceyes house to the nearby lake, where many other Pokémon lived. Here, Magikarp were king, though Ryan spotted a Gyarados as well. Some Dratinis, Dragonairs, and Dragonites were also down here. Ryan noticed that Thurnax was amongst them.

Ryan gulped. “I-I’m sorry… I didn’t mean to take her. I didn’t know sh-she was yours,” he said awkwardly.

Derceyes shrugged. “I have many Pokémon. If one of them finds a good trainer willing to raise them and take them around the world to battle and meet other people and Pokémon, who am I to stop them? I can’t give all of my Pokémon equal attention. It’s good that some of them will be able to go out into the world and make names for themselves. Besides, it appears that Thurnax is very happy with you.”

Ryan went red and got a tingly feeling in his stomach. “I hope so.”

They came to a stop at the water’s edge, watching the Pokémon play about - the dragon Pokémon in particular seemed to be playing racing games through the cold, midnight waters. The moon hung in an empty sky, and its reflection in the center of the lake seemed to be rippling with a constancy that could only mean there were many Pokémon having fun in the waters.

“Uh, Ms. Derceyes, why do you have so many dragon Pokémon?” Ryan blurted out.

She did not turn to face him. “It is my passion to study these kinds of Pokémon. And not all of my Pokémon are dragons - I have many other types that look only superficially like dragons. Still, I enjoy their company. Breeding them, studying their genetics, their fighting capabilities, their eating habits… all of it… I am trying to unlock the mysteries of these rare creatures. I do not know if what I am doing will result in anything meaningful, but I have discovered a few little things already.”

“Like what?”

“The preferred moves for each species, for one. I talked with Alex about that earlier. He was mostly interested in the moves and training I gave all of my Dragonites.”

“Does Thurnax have good moves?”

Derceyes looked up at the moon. “If I remember correctly, I gave her Body Slam. Otherwise, she should have Wrap and Agility,” the woman trailed off. Ryan nodded. “She also has Surf, I believe.”

“Yep.”

“Her moves are good. I trained all of my Dratini from when they were born to be great fighters. They have the natures and instincts that are needed of them. You will want to give Thurnax Hyper Beam when she gains some more experience, however.”

“Alright.”

“But other than that, she is ready to take on the best Kanto has to offer. You are lucky you got your Dragonair from me, and not from the wild. These beasts are notoriously difficult to train if you catch a wild one. Will you use her in the Indigo League?”

Ryan nodded in determination. “She’s gonna be one of my best Pokémon!”

Derceyes bit her lip, perhaps hiding a smile. “I’ll be there to watch. Don’t disappoint me. I don’t want to see her losing to Shellders or Drowzees.”

“I won’t let that happen!” Ryan declared. “I’m a great trainer! I know how to counter the Pokémon that are super effective against mine!”

“Yep, sure.” Her voice was thick with sarcasm. It was sudden and unexpected, causing Ryan’s pride to swell in his throat. How dare she question my prowess?!

“Fine, let’s have a battle!” Derceyes turned around, not believing Ryan’s declaration. “Come on, Thurnax, get over here! There’s a battle you need to win for me!”

Thurnax popped her head from the water and cocked it in surprise. When Ryan continued to shout across the water and gesture wildly with his hands, she came flying over and landed next to him in the mud. Derceyes shook her head and then whistled. A second later, one of her own Dragonites appeared. It was the shiny one - the one with green skin.

“Trinnetar, show Thurnax just how strong you are,” Derceyes commanded. “You know which moves to use.”

“How can you say that?” Ryan asked. “How does your Pokémon know what moves to use without you telling it?”

“We’ve been together for a long time. Trinnetar was the first Dratini I ever captured. He’s been with me since the beginning. After all these years… well, we’ve been in a lot of battles together.. He knows what I want him to do.”

“Hmph, well then, we’ll just have to show you who’s really good, isn’t that right, Thurnax?”

“Wraaahahah!”

The two Pokémon took their places opposite one another. “Agility, Thurnax,” Ryan commanded.

Derceyes stood as still as a statue. The two Pokémon flew at one another. At the last second, Thurnax split off and took to the skies to build up its speed. But Trinnetar was not one to be outdone. It followed Thurnax up there, and just as Thurnax was about to begin its Agility, Trinnetar hit her with a Thunder Wave, instantly paralyzing Ryan’s Pokémon.

“Wha…?! How does that Dragonite know Thunder Wave?!”

“It’s something I learned in my research. Dragonites can learn that move,” Derceyes replied. “Not the best move for all Dragonites, to be fair. But since I have so many, this move is very valuable for my team as a whole.”

Now paralyzed, Thurnax could do little as the other Dragonite used Wrap on it and then finished her off with a simple Hyper Beam. Thurnax crashed into the water, soaking Ryan in the process. Just great… now I’m tired and cold.

“That’s enough, Trinnetar. We don’t want Thurnax to get too injured.”

When Thurnax came back up from the water, Ryan waved her off.

“Great try, girl, but the battle’s over. You can go back to playing.”

And thus his Pokémon swam away to mingle with its friends for one more night. Derceyes approached Ryan and held out her hand, as if to shake his. He shook her hand and felt a small rock or something similar in the woman’s palm. When their hands broke off, he held up the little stone, though he held no understanding over what that thing was.

“Dragonitite,” Derceyes said. “It’s the mega stone for Dragonite.”

“Huh, what are you talking about?”

Derceyes said, “Perhaps when you’ve journeyed a bit more, you will learn about mega stones. It is not my place to explain what they are or how they are used. But make sure you keep that stone with you. There aren’t many of them in the world, and I have most of them.” She smiled. “Just a perk of me being the dragon expert in Kanto.”

“Th-thanks! I guess…”

“Make sure you battle with your Dragonite often. You two will build your bond primarily through battle - the understanding you will share during the heat of battle that will allow you to adapt to and beat any opponent you may face, regardless of the Pokémon you are up against. If you wish to become a Pokémon Master, or even a dragon expert, you must keep at it. The more you two practice together, the more you two will grow in tandem. And you still have a while before you will face the other trainers in the Indigo League Tournament. You have plenty of time to learn all there is to know about Thurnax.”

“Maybe,” Ryan said, lowering his head, “but it’s going to take a lot of work. I’m not nearly as good of a Pokémon battler as you… Your Dragonite defeated mine in a minute! And I thought Thurnax was one of the most powerful Pokémon in the world!”

Derceyes clasped Ryan on the shoulders. “Don’t worry about that now. Let’s get back to dinner. Come on, I’m sure you can bear with my uncle George a little longer. If you get past his eating habits, he can tell you some really twisted and bloody tales.”

“Awesome!”

And so the two walked back to Derceyes’ house. Ryan kept the mega stone clutched tight in his palm, and he looked up at the moon as he walked. I’m going to become a great trainer. I’m going to make all of them proud of me… Derceyes, Rahul, Alex, mom… and even dad. It wasn’t a mistake that I became a Pokémon trainer. This is what I was born to do. But I’ve got a long way to go yet.

The moon flickered pale and lonely in the starless sky. Ryan clutched the mega stone tight in his hand for several moments. And when they reached the house again, he pocketed it and walked inside, ready to meet the insanity that awaited him.


It was full tonight, she knew. The loonies’ll all be out. Good thing I’ve got Haunter. She remembered where she had first befriended her ghost Pokémon. It had been very near where they were standing now, a little ways beyond the Pokémon Tower. She remembered that day as vividly as if it had been yesterday. I had been picking flowers for mother when I had stumbled upon it hiding in the forest. I felt something watching me and walked right into the forest, completely oblivious to the fact that it was a scary ghost Pokémon awaiting me. But he was more scared of me than I was of him. She giggled a the memory of it. It took me a week to get him to work up the courage to come out of that forest. He didn’t tell me why he had been hiding in there until years later… I guess I never actually caught him, but ever since he realized he could trust me, he began following me around.

She thought about how having a Haunter from such a young age had helped her to catch other Pokémon. When she had applied to Team Rocket, she had had more Pokémon than any 13 year old girl should have had. And now I’m the second-in-command. But that’s not worth much, in this dying organization.

“Is it ready yet?” she snapped at the Team Rocket grunts around here.

“A few more minutes, please,” one of them grumbled.

“We don’t have much time. This is the best time to try out our device. Hurry up! Gilly?! Where are you?”

“Here,” Gillford said with a bow. “I was just meditating into transatlantic planes. And my name’s ‘The Supreme Extreme’, don’t forget that!”

“Shut up,” she said, handing him the remote control. “Here, you’re in charge. Make sure the device gets turned on.”

“Wha… what?! Me? Why me?!”

“You’re my second-in-command,” she explained. “But, if you don’t get this Mew hologram to turn on before the moonlight fades, I’ll fire you from Team Rocket.”

“No!” Gilly bellowed. “I’m the Supreme Extreme, you can’t do that to me!” He took out his little wooden-painted girlfriend, fondly known as ‘Mrs. Supreme Extreme’ and thrust her in Jessica’s face. “You can’t do this to my husband! He’s beautiful and talented and so powerful! He can levitate! You’ll be making a big mistake if you try to fire him.”

“Gilly, stop it. I’m not in the mood for your nonsense. Just get the projector running, and once it’s up, radio me.”

“Where are you going?”

“None of your business.”

“Ms. Jessica,” a grunt said, bowing, “before you leave, I should inform you that we have just received some information about the Painted Dragons’ operations in Cerulean City.”

Jessica’s blood turned cold. “What of those fools?”

“They were defeated by some sort of police force, we think. The entire branch was disbanded, and First Lieutenant Miyazaki himself was defeated! He’s since gone missing; our spies assume he’s retired from the organization and given up on Pokémon fighting after being humiliated in front of his whole force! The word is he’s going to become a really popular anime and manga producer now!”

A small smile crept onto Jessica’s face. “Pity. Very well, if that’s all, I’ll be leaving now.”

The grunt bowed and let Jessica move out. She walked through the desolate streets of Lavender Town alone, catching glimpses of ghosts coming from the Pokémon Tower and the various abandoned buildings around the place. It was a dead city, for the most part. It was creepy, but that was just how Jessica liked it. Much of its population was either dead or gone, and this place was little more than a cemetery now. Why would the Mew come here? Pressing on, she came to the edge of the forest, where she had once played as a child. But that was a lifetime ago.

Unhooking the Poké Ball from her belt, Jessica released her Haunter.

“Haunter, haunt!” the ghost croaked.

“Hey Haunty. We’re home.”

“Hauu!!”

Haunter began to fly around in circles, overwhelmed with happiness. His euphoria was enough to make Jessica smile - for a second. Then, her thoughts and plans came flooding back into her brain, and she began to pace. This was her time; Jessica found it easiest to think, to plan, to scheme when she was alone, and there was no better place to do that than this forest.

Giovanni will want to know that the Painted Dragons have been crippled. If it’s true Miyazaki’s gone, that organization will be vulnerable… we could move forward and crush them. We have the soldiers for it. Gilly and I alone could probably take out most of those pathetic trainers who call themselves members of that gang. Kanto is Team Rocket’s territory. There is no room for other gangs. We have to eliminate them if we are to regain our power.

But she was in a tricky situation, she knew. She had to catch the Mew - she knew not how much longer it would be around Lavender Town. And yet, she would also need to lead the assault against the Painted Dragons’ main base soon if she wanted to destroy them. If she waited too long, someone else would be promoted to First Lieutenant, and the Painted Dragons would recruit enough new people to their gang to make up for those they lost in Cerulean City.

Jessica sighed and kneeled down to pick up a withered flower at the forest’s edge. Killed by the frost of winter, she thought. But every spring, the flowers come back, in full bloom. She looked to the sky, scanning for any sign of the Mew. Our projector will fool the Mew into thinking there’s another member of its species in Lavender Town. And once we get it to come to us, to act on its curiosity, catching it will be the easy part. But… where are you, Mew?! Where are you?!

The sky was dark and cloudless, save for the overbearing whiteness that was being exuded by the moon. It was beautiful, in its own way, but Jessica didn’t have time for sentimentality. She needed to think up a strategy to catch Mew and take out the Painted Dragons in one fell swoop. And as her Haunter roamed about her gleefully, Jessica knew she had no answers for how to do that… yet.

The girl dropped the dead flowers and motioned to her Pokémon to follow her. “Come on, Haunty. Let’s see if mom and dad are still awake.” They haven’t seen me in a year. They’re going to be in for a big surprise. Jessica twisted her tongue between her teeth. I wonder if they will be proud of me becoming the second-in-command of Team Rocket.

Not a chance, she thought sadly.

Episode 22: I’m Not Handsome, But Sometimes I’m Cool

The next morning, Alex, Rahul, and Ryan awoke refreshed and said their goodbyes to Derceyes. Returning to Cerulean City, they healed their Pokémon, gathered their belongings, and set out on their next adventure down Route 5.

“Now we’re onto Saffron City!” Ryan declared, leading the troupe.

“No way,” replied Rahul, stroking his goatee. “I already beat Sabrina.”

“Huh? But you have the same number of badges as me!”

“And that’s one of the ones I have.”

Annoyed at the big man, Ryan took out his little booklet with all of his badges and showed it to the others. “See, these are the ones I have. You should have the same badges as me, Rahul.”

And yet, when the human Snorlax took out his own booklet, Ryan beheld that there was a Marsh Badge in it, though there was no Soul Badge. It was a crying shame.

Alex was not really paying attention. He was holding a little bowl of rice and was cutting up a cucumber over it while he walked. When the two looked at him, he shrugged and said, “Since I ran out and there aren't enough for one meal, I will be also eating a little less than half of an entire cucumber.”

“That’s great and all, but we have more serious matters to talk about,” Ryan said earnestly. “Rahul and I have different badges, look!”

The two held up their badge booklets to Alex’s face. “Yeah, I know,” grunted the small Chinese Pokémon master. “Rahul and I are going to Fuchsia City next.”

“Bu-bu-bu-but… I’ve already beaten Koga!” Ryan whined. “I want to go to Saffron City.”

“Then go there. We’ll go to Fuchsia, and you can go to Saffron. After Rahul and you get your next badges, we can meet up in Celadon City. It’s pretty simple. That’s where the next badge should be,” Alex said, slurping up his cucumber slices.

“Fine,” replied Ryan quietly. “I’ll see you guys in Celadon.”

“May Pagan’s light shine upon you all,” Rahul roared proudly, his Sonic Screwdriver thrust high in the cool morning air.

“Yep,” Ryan sighed. “See ya, space cowboys.”

And so Ryan left the other two at the next fork in the road. This was the first time since he had set out on his journey that he had been alone. He missed Kelly, and even though he knew he would be meeting Rahul and Alex again very soon in Celadon City, he was already beginning to miss them. Feeling a bit lonely, he let out all six of his Pokémon as he continued on, and trained them on the wild Pokémon lurking in the tall grass on the route for a while. He was sure Rahul and Alex had not done so with their own Pokémon, so they must have have quickly overtaken him on the path. Still, he did not mind going at a slower pace. Fuchsia City is much farther away than Saffron. I’ll have time to train.

The road through Route 5 was rather short, however, and soon Ryan found himself approaching Saffron City. The sprawling megapolis protruded up from the forest in the distance like a sore tooth, yet when Ryan reached its northern gate it, he saw that the entrance into the city was blocked. In front of it stood an Officer Jenny.

“I’m sorry,” she said, “this path is closed until further notice.”

Ryan cocked his head to the side. “Wha…?! How’m I supposed to battle Sabrina, then?”

“We ask that you please bear with us during these trying times,” the blue-haired woman beamed. “There is an underground path you can take,” she began, gesturing to her right, where a small, slumped-over building stood, “that will take you to Vermillion City.”

“I don’t want to go to Vermillion. I already have that badge.”

“Not to worry!” Officer Jenny chuckled. “Due to maintenance, several entrances to Saffron City are closed, but not all of them are. The gate from Route 8 is open. If you really need to get into the city, that’s your ticket in!”

Ryan frowned, took out his map of Kanto, and shook his head. “But that means I have to go through Lavender Town!”

Officer Jenny didn’t seem to care. She laughed, winked, and held up a peace sign. “Lavender Town’s pretty far away! You better hurry up if you want to get there soon!”

Ryan grumbled to himself and turned away. “Come on guys, let’s go,” he said to his leal Pokéservants.

They followed him over to the small building, and just when he went to open the door, Officer Jenny spoke again: “Be careful down there, and don’t cause any trouble! I don’t want to have to arrest you!”

Ryan didn’t turn around to look at her; nor did he reply. Instead he stumbled inside the old shack with his Pokémon hot on his heals. Finding the building abandoned, he noticed a ladder in the middle of the floor that led down to the underground tunnel. The room was dark, but Charmeleon kept it alight with his flames, and soon, all of Ryan’s gang had made their way down to the underground tunnel. It was cold down there, silent and empty and ominous. He could hear water dripping, could smell a dusty, moldy smell. It didn’t seem like this place was traversed much.

“Aegon, come here. I need your light,” Ryan ordered his Charmeleon as they began walking through the place. He took out his map again and looked it over. “Lavender Town’s a long way away,” Ryan told the others. “We’ll have to get a bike or something or we’ll be walking for the rest of our lives!”

“Rah!” came the dry reply from Ryan’s Abra, who sat perched on the boy’s shoulder, half asleep. “Abra abra abra bra, abra abra rah.”

“Oh, wait, I have to go back home too. I almost forgot. Thanks for reminding me, Abra,” Ryan said, scratching his psychic Pokémon behind the ear. Yet, at the same time, a dread feeling flashed through his stomach. Don’t forget Abra, mom said. Why would they want me to bring back Abra specifically? He didn’t know, and he didn’t want to know. Glancing down at the map again, Ryan noticed that the route to Lavender Town would lead him right past his hometown of Acapulco. “Well buddies, we may as well take a short trip home before challenging Sabrina,” he said, his voice echoing through the tunnel. “What do you say?”

His Pokémon clamored out in approval. Ryan still didn’t know what to think about going home. Were his parents going to congratulate him? Were they going to be mad at him? He had not the faintest idea. But the way his mother had been crying in her last video message to him gave him pause all the same. I wonder what that’s about. But maybe it’s not even about me. They could have been fighting again.

Plodding on, the tunnel narrowed, and Ryan could see graffiti lining the stone walls on either side of him. Phrases like ‘SMB’, ‘X was here’, and ‘Feel the Bern’ were common, but Ryan’s favorite was surely ‘The lombax sleeps tonight’. However, Ryan was cut off from further admiring these fanciful, if illegal artistic expressions, when a smell, so foul it brought tears to his eyes, hit his nose. Likewise, Aegon and the others began to gag and hold their noses. Ryan coughed and took out his Pokédex and pointed it at the darkness ahead.

“Hrawhechahea!” Thurnax moaned.

“Rah, abra!” Abra howled.

“Meleon!” Aegon whined.

“Fruahaha!” NaVorro sniffed.

“Pidgeooooooo!” Swirlie Whirlie screeched.

“Cloyster, cloy!” Myrrah sang.

“Dex… what’s that smell coming from?!”

“Scanning…” Dex said. “No Pokémon detected.”

“H-huh? How can that not be from a Pokémon?! Scan again!”

“You must get closer to the source for me to give a more accurate reading,” the Pokédex replied without emotion.

“Aw, come on!”

“Rah, abra, abra!”

Ryan shook his head and pinched his nose as tight as he could. “Okay guys, guess we have no choice. There’s only one way forward! Aegon, lead us out of here!”

And so they moved further and further ahead. By now, the tunnel had tightened considerably, and Ryan could barely walk straight without the walls scraping at his shoulders. The smell grew stronger and fouler the more they moved on. Ryan’s entire face went numb, and it felt like he was dreaming. He was low on oxygen, he knew. Can’t turn back… this is the only way to Saffron City!

After a few more steps, Dex’s light flashed again. “Scanning… Pokémon found! Muk, the Sludge Pokémon. Smells so awful, it can cause fainting. Through degeneration, it lost its sense of smell.”

“You don’t have to tell me that… I already know!” Ryan motioned to his Charmeleon. “Go Aegon! Use your Fire Blast on that Muk!”

“Charrrrr!” Aegon complained. “Meleon, char char!”

“I’m not in the mood for your sass mouth right now,” Ryan said. “Go take that Muk out! I wasn’t asking you!”

Aegon barked, “Meleon!”, and ran off into the darkness. Ryan stayed back as far as he could, with his other five Pokémon. In the distance, he saw flames bursting through the darkness, heard roars coming both from his Pokémon and the thus-unseen stinker. At great length, the reek of the Muk became even greater, causing tears to flow down Ryan’s cheeks. He nearly threw up. At last, Aegon came running back to the group on all fours. When he reached them, he stood up and proudly flexed his muscles for Ryan. Then he let out a reckless mouthful of flames that caught Ryan right in the face and made him fall over screaming in shock and pain.

“Aegon… don’t do that!” he screamed.

“Char.”

“The Charmeleon has significantly damaged the Muk,” Dex then noted. “A good Pokémon trainer would use this opportunity to capture the wild Pokémon.”

“Shut up, Dex. I don’t need the sass mouth from you either.”

“My apologies master. I never meant to do you harm,” Dex droned before turning itself off and quickly going into sleep mode.

“Stupid computer,” Ryan said, standing up. He felt his hair, and noticed that the edges were all burnt and blackened. “Come on, Aegon, why’d you do that?”

“Char.”

“Yeah, I thought so. Anyways, it’s time for me to catch another Pokémon. I’m a great Pokémon master!! Come on, Aegon, give me some light.”

Ryan ran forward, forgetting that the Muk had stunk up the joint until the last moment. Just when he grabbed his nose, he saw Aegon’s light reach the far corner of the room. There, a pile of sludge lay, burnt and blackened, like Ryan’s poor face and hair, and radiating a stink that would’ve made Reek Sr. envious.

“Go Poké Ball!”

Ryan threw a Poké Ball at the ugly thing, but it didn’t seem to do anything to Muk. The Poké Ball just sunk right into its folds of grime and was lost. “Dang it all! Aegon, use another Fire Blast!”

“Char!”

This time, Muk got cooked up real good, like a scallop in Hell’s Kitchen. Ryan saw its eyes bulge in terror and pain and then saw the thing collapse into a puddle. He knew this was his time to show his true skill. “Muk, you’re mine!”

This time, the Sludge Pokémon indeed was. It was sucked into the Poké Ball, and didn’t fuss at all. In a few seconds, the Poké Ball fell to the ground and stopped moving. Ryan picked up the ball and pocketed it. “Yeeeaaaah! I caught Muk!”

“Rah, abra!” Abra complained from Ryan’s shoulder.

“Meleon,” Charmeleon agreed.

Ryan grinned. Despite the stink of the tunnel, despite having to take a detour to Saffron City, despite having to leave Rahul and Alex behind for a short while, this day was turning out better than he had expected.

He stepped forward, into the muck ol’ Muk had left behind, the puddle of filth and residual grey matter that looked like melted jello, and reached down to pick up the first Poké Ball he had thrown. “Huh, what’s that?” he said when what he picked up was not, in fact, his Poké Ball. Indeed, Ryan was looking at a cylindrical cobalt-tinted package. On its surface, in delicate white-blue cursive, was but one word: Blizzard. “Dex, explain,” Ryan commanded.

“This device is a TM for the move ‘Blizzard’. This powerful move may be taught to a variety of Pokémon.”

“Blizzard, huh? How did that get stuck in Muk?” Ryan muttered, kneeling down again; this time, he found his missing Poké Ball, and put it back in his bag. “Hey, wait a minute! That’s one of the moves Alex wanted to me to find!” He reached into his pocket and pulled out the napkin that Alex had written down his TM purchase list on. And on it, there was Blizzard, sure enough. And it was meant for not just one Pokémon, but two - both his Cloyster and his Tauros. Ryan smiled and said, “Awesome. Looks like NaVorro and Myrrah are getting a new move today! But first, let’s get out of this stinking tunnel! Come on, buddies, let’s go!”

He raced his Pokémon to the end of the tunnel, found the other entrance, and soon, the seven travelers emerged on the outskirts of Vermillion City.

“Remember this place, buddy?” Ryan asked Abra.

Abra yawned noisily and leaned up against Ryan’s head, hoping to fall back asleep.

“Good, because we’re never going back there.”


Acapulco was a short bullet train ride from the mainland to the Island of the Giant Pokémon, situated not far off the harbor of Vermillion City. Ryan arrived back in his hometown just as evening was falling on the world. The city itself as was bustling and chaotic as it had been when he had left, with people moving in great crowds across the sidewalks, and cars zipping through the streets by the like angry Beedrills. He would have thought this to be pandemonium had he not grown up in it. Still, he decided it would be safer if he returned all of his Pokémon to their Poké Balls - and he did so for all of them save for Abra, who still sat sleepily on the teal-haired boy’s shoulder. The two of them made their way through the crowds of people, trying to get uptown to where Ryan’s parents lived.

As they went further and further north, away from the beach part of the town Ryan knew to be a tourist trap, the crowds thinned. Up there, the streets faded into cobbled paths lined with shops and food stalls on either side. Ryan treated Abra and himself to some uni sushi and bought some sweetbread for the morning. Then, they began to walk home.

It was at this time that a most curious thing happened. As Ryan made his way to the end of the market, he noticed an old alleyway that he used to traverse as a kid. He remembered when he had been much younger, waking up early on Saturdays and sneaking out of the house with a few extra Poké Dollars to come down to the market and buy some candy. The thought of those simpler days made him a bit sad. But this was a shortcut home too, he knew, so he took it. And when he went down that dark alley, Ryan ran into someone he had not expected to.

The boy’s hair was dark blue and gelled, tall and pointed as horn. He wore a ridiculous suit of red-and-yellow with thick red-rimmed glasses. Ryan noticed that the boy’s pants were bell-bottoms. He looked thoroughly out-dated, as if he had time traveled to the future from thirty years ago. He held a can of spray paint in one hand and was huddled over one of the walls, writing something on it. Hovering over his shoulder was a Ghastly, and it saw Ryan and Abra before the bell-bottom-wearing boy did.

“Ghaaaastly,” the ball of smoke wheezed, causing its master to look up.

“Who’s there?” came the voice, high and shrill. “Oh, it’s just a kid. Get out of here, I’m warning you. This is my territory.”

“What are you doing?” asked Ryan.

“None of your business.”

“Suit yourself,” Ryan shrugged. He walked past the other boy, weaving his way through the curving alleyway.

Yet, when Ryan came out on the other side of the buildings, he noticed two more boys wearing suits of red and yellow. They each had a Pokémon out - a Golbat and a Spearow - attacking an Eevee, and they were cackling with delight, watching the battle unfold in their favor. There was another boy in what looked like black-and-blue running clothes to Ryan, who was standing a little ways off. His eyes were wide, and he was shouting:

“Hey stop it! Call it off! Don’t let them hurt my Eevee! I swear I won’t come back here! Please!”

“Heh, this’s what you’ll get!” one of the others replied savagely.

Ryan scowled and looked back at the graffiti artist, who was still working on writing something on the alley wall.

“Yo, your friends are beating up on this kid’s Eevee,” Ryan noted. “Make them stop.”

The blue-haired boy looked over at Ryan and then giggled. “Get out of here before they go after you too. This is our territory. If you come looking for a fight, you’re gonna get one.”

“I don’t think he was-”

The other boy looked up and stared down Ryan. “Get out of here before I make you. No one comes into the Bell-Bottom Brigade’s territory and tries to boss us around.”

“You don’t tell me what to do.”

The other boy frowned and then pointed at Ryan. “Meatball! Shut this loser up!”

“Come on, we don’t need to fight.”

“Yes we do. I’m Falco, the leader of the Bell-Bottom Brigade! You have insulted my honor! And for that, you will pay!”

“Fine, Abra, use Psychic.”

“Rah? Bra!” the Pokémon replied unhappily. He was still munching on his uni and looked none too pleased with the prospect of fighting.

“Abra, I don’t have time for this. Go and fight that Ghastly.”

“Rah…” Abra grunted. He hopped off Ryan’s shoulder, swallowed the rest of his uni in one gulp, and cracked his neck.

“You’re a fool,” Falco smiled. “Psychic Pokémon are weak to ghost Pokémon.”

“Maybe,” admitted Ryan, “but you may be surprised. My Abra isn’t a normal Abra.”

“Night Shade, Meatball!”

Abra sprung forward, running up to the Ghastly, purple energy already forming between his claws. Before the Ghastly could conjure up its own attack, Abra’s Psychic was fully formed. In the blink of an eye, the Psychic attack hit Ghastly right on the nose.

“Ghaaaa!” the Pokémon groaned. He twirled about a few times in a dazed stupor and then fell to the ground like an old fat man would after jumping into the east river.

Falco grimaced. “Impressive. I didn’t expect that! But you’re out of luck now, kid. Because… personally, I prefer the air! Go Clenny!”

Out from a Poké Ball soared a Pidgeot, as graceful as the wind.

“Wow,” Ryan said. “He’s got a Pidgeot!”

“Pidgeot, the Bird Pokémon,” Dex stated when Ryan pointed him at Falco’s new contender. “This Pokémon flies at Mach 2 speed, seeking prey. Its large talons are feared as wicked weapons.”

“Hmm…” Ryan thought. “Let’s use Myrrah!”

He threw the ball for his Cloyster, and out came Ryan’s most favorite Pokémon on his team, aside from the other five.

“Blizzard, Myrrah!” he ordered her.

“Clenny, use Wing Attack!” Falco shouted back.

The two Pokémon clashed briefly, with the Pidgeot hitting Myrrah’s hard shell. The attack did minimal damage, but Myrrah’s icy blast hit Clenny hard in the belly, causing him to fall like the Ghastly had. This time, however, it was because the Pidgeot was encased in ice, not because it had fainted.

“Yeah, Freeze!” Ryan whooped as he punched at the sky. “I’ve always wanted to Freeze a Pokémon!”

“Curses and such,” growled Falco. “I’ll make you pay for this humiliation! The Bell-Bottom Brigade won’t let its reputation be sullied by some loser like you!”

“I don’t like that tone of yours,” Ryan replied. “Myrrah, clear out the trash.”

“Cloyster!”

Another Blizzard attack sent both Falco and his Pidgeot flying into the air.

“Noo! I’m blasting off for the first time!” Falco screeched.

“Have fun enjoying the air,” Ryan said.

He walked back down the alley to the other two Bell-Bottom Brigade lackeys, whose Pokémon were bullying that poor dude’s Eevee. They had their backs to him and were screaming at the top of their lungs as their Golbat and Spearow attacked the Eevee simultaneously and with great teamwork.

“Happy feet!” one yelled, as his Spearow landed on the ground and danced around the Eevee while the other’s Golbat circled overhead.

“Wombo combo!” the other shouted in jubilation as his Golbat nose-dived onto the Eevee, hitting it hard. The Pokémon cried out in pain and fell to the ground, looking as if it had fainted.

Ryan bit his lip in disgust. “Hey, over here!” he shouted at the two. Then, more quietly, he said to Myrrah, “Do to them what you did to Falco.”

“Cloyster.”

The two boys turned around, grinning from ear to ear. And then, their smiles vanished instantaneously. “Dat ain’t Falco!!” one gasped. Myrrah was already bearing down on him, charging up her Blizzard as she approached. “Oh! Oh! Oooh!” he began to shout as he realized what was going on.

“Oh, ooh, oooh!! Oh!” the other boy screamed at the top of his lungs as he watched in horror as Myrrah suddenly and swiftly took both his and his friend’s Pokémon out in but a single attack.

“Falco, where’re you at?!” the first lackey screamed in dismay.

“He had to fly,” Ryan said. “Why don’t you two join him?”

“Oooh!!” they screamed in unison as Myrrah’s furious tempest hit them, slapping their faces with ice and whipping winds harsh enough to blow them away. And then, like Falco, the two Bell-Bottom Brigade members and their Pokémon went flying off into the sky. And Ryan didn’t even think about how they were going to survive the landing.

Ryan approached the boy who was crouched over his fallen Eevee. “Are you okay?” he asked.

“I-I’m okay,” the other boy replied, his voice distant and sad. “But they beat up Zoe pretty good.”

“Here,” Ryan said, reaching for something in his bag and then tossing it to the boy. “This Super Potion should heal her.”

“Thanks!” The other boy’s eyes were brimming with tears. “How can I repay you for saving me from those creeps?”

Ryan shrugged. “Don’t worry about it. Just train your Pokémon some more, and hopefully this kind of thing won’t happen to you in the future.”

The other boy nodded and stood up. He put out his hand, which Ryan took. “I’m Logan by the way,” he said. “Nice to meet you.”

“My name’s Ryan,” Ryan replied. “Anyways, I have to go. Maybe I’ll see you at the Indigo Tournament. Later.”

With that, Ryan walked off, leaving the grateful boy behind. In the distance, he saw houses - the houses of his neighborhood - peeking up from a wall of hills. I’m almost home. He was nearly there when he heard the town’s belltower start sounding. He counted the rings, and was horrified when he heard this one go to eleven. Mom and dad are already asleep, he knew. This is way past their bedtime - and mine too, they would tell me. They would be really mad if they knew I was still up. And I don’t want to wake them. I’ll have to be quiet.

But another thought crept into Ryan’s mind then and there: If they’re already asleep, there’s no point in me going home so soon.

Ryan clapped his hands and Abra came scurrying up. “Alright, Abra. Whaddya say, you and I have a little fun?”

“Raaaah,” came the reply, as dry and miserable as the Sahara.

“Great!”


The boy with the burnt hair found his luck at a little shop called ‘Pokémon in a sandbox’. There, he found a Poképoker tournament going on and entered himself into the fray. Ryan ordered lots of orange juice, placed Abra on his lap, and went to town. With his Psychic Pokémon helping him, Ryan was able to clear through the competition like they were a bunch of idiots from northern Europe.

After he had had a few too many orange juice boxes, Ryan carelessly informed the other players around him, “I’ve got white magic, baby!”

This caused one man - a gentleman, to be sure - to stand up and challenge Ryan to a duel for all of his chips. Ryan was too imbibed with the juice to realize what a silly thing it would be to challenge the gentleman to a battle for his tournament life. But challenge the man he did, and when Abra lost to the man’s Machamp, Ryan found himself busted out. He cursed them all and ran screaming from the building insisting that he still had all the white magic in the world.

As the night got later, Ryan became less and less cognizant of what was going on. He did not know why he was buying and drinking so much orange juice - he hated the stuff, truly - but a feeling of wanting to party, to finally let go of all of inanity of life had suddenly and perhaps unconsciously overtaken him. The rest of the night, as a result, was mostly a blur to him.

In one shop, he tried to become a karaoke megastar with Abra serving as his backup dancer, but that failed when Ryan forgot the words to ‘Daddy’. Then, he tried to join a crowd of fellow teenagers dancing in a rave, but when he realized he didn’t know how to dance and had more epilepsy than grace in his bones, he fled the place. Ryan soon found himself in a food stall taking bets for how much wasabi he could eat (the answer was none), and briefly tried to fight someone who made fun of his hair.

Afterwards, he stumbled out into the streets and attempted to hit on an Officer Jenny, but when she suspected there was orange juice on his breath, he ran off, carrying Abra like a sack of potatoes. Laughing and shouting, Ryan kept running until he found himself back at the alleyway where he and his Pokémon warriors had vanquished Falco and his gang. Ryan stumbled forward and nearly tripped over the spray paint can that Falco had been using. He looked down and picked it up, finding himself face-to-face with what Falco had been painting on the wall. There was but a simple statement on the wall ‘F was here’. It was as pathetic and lame as Ryan could have expected, and he began to laugh uncontrollably. He remembered the Officer Jenny in Saffron City who had cautioned him to not get into any trouble or do anything mischievous.

“Well, to Pokéheck with her! I’ll live my life in my own way!” the boy bellowed at no one and no one in particular. He pointed the can at the wall and held down the trigger until the ‘F’ looked more like an ‘R’. Satisfied, he turned around put out his hand for Abra to high-five him. Yet, his little psychic Pokémon was huddled up against the far wall, his arms folded, his head bowed, snoring loudly. Ryan broke out into hysterics again for but a moment. And then he collapsed onto the filthy ground and joined Abra into that grand venture known as sleep.

Ryan awoke with Abra in his arms. The teal-haired boy’s head was killing him, and he did not feel well-rested at all. Yawning, Ryan sat up and looked around. It was morning, and he was alone in the alleyway. Fog was rolling through the town. He shivered and stood.

Rubbing his eyes, Ryan found his hand covered in red paint. Weird, he thought. I don’t remember getting my face painted. In truth, he remembered very little of the previous night, nor why he had gone as crazy as he had. No one will know about this, he thought, but guilt flooded through his veins all the same. He walked out of the alleyway, rubbing the paint off his face, and once again made his way back home.

“Come on, Abra,” Ryan said to his snoring companion, who awoke at the boy’s words, “are you ready to go home?”

I know I’m not.

Episode 23: Bra Abra Rah Rah Abra

Note: The first section of this chapter is written in the POV of Ryan’s Abra. As such, when he speaks, it will be written in English, but none of the humans will be able to understand him (and they will think he’s saying “Abra ra ra” etc. whenever he speaks). This is similar to the episode “Island of the Giant Pokémon” from the Indigo League arc of the Pokémon anime. I hope this isn’t too confusing.


It was just as they had left it: the same little, two-story house; the same freshly-mowed lawn; the same blue door to let them in; the same smells, the same colors, the same sounds. Abra remembered the first time he had seen this place - that had been when Ryan’s father, Richard, had bought him. That had been many years ago. Yet, as Ryan carried Abra in his arms and walked up to the door, the psychic Pokémon felt that same old anxious feeling he had felt the first time he had been carried to this home.

Ryan knocked three times, and after a short pause, his mother opened the door.

“Oh, Ryan, you’re here!” she said, beckoning her son and Abra inside. “You look terrible, Ryan. What happened?”

“Oh, uh, nothing,” the boy replied, laughing nervously. “Just been out battling a bunch, that’s all.”

Abra, of course, knew that was a lie. The previous night, he and Ryan had partied all throughout Acapulco, and his master had been in rare form. In truth, Abra knew not why Ryan had done that - the teal-haired boy had always been on the quieter side, not one for parties or mayhem. Nevertheless, Ryan’s mother did not press the issue, and they stepped inside.

The house was just as Abra remembered it, and the same old wretched Pokémon were still scurrying about inside: sniveling Squirtle, who tattled if someone even breathed out of turn; lethargic Persian, who liked to take Abra’s prime sleeping spots; and, of course, the worst of the bunch - Butterfree. That little bug irked Abra the most, not only because it was super effective against him, but because it liked to coat the house in Sleep Powder. And while Abra liked to sleep (a good day was a day of almost total sleep), he hated that the Sleep Powder would often cause him to fall back asleep after already getting his beauty rest. He had tried to tell Ryan’s mother about that back when he had still lived here, but she didn’t seem to understand him like she understood her Squirtle.

Ryan and his mother walked off to the kitchen to talk, leaving Abra in the living room. The stuffy, carpeted place was barely-lit, save for a sliver of light that came from a window peeking out to the backyard. In front of that window was a tall cat tower that would have been a great invention for cats, but since there are no cats the Pokeworld, this tower was for Abra - and Persian. Richard (or Richie, as he had been known back in his Pokémon Trainer days) had bought that specifically for his two Pokémon. At this moment, however, Persian was asleep on the top platform, sunning himself with the light of the morning. He was snoring too. Abra hated how that ugly cat snored.

Grumbling to himself, Abra waddled forward and used his psychic abilities to pick Persian up and gently set him down on a lower platform of the cat tower, out of the sun. This was a well-practiced art, one that he had mastered during the many sleep wars between him and Persian that had taken place before the start of Ryan’s journey. The Persian didn’t even wake up.

Gleefully, Abra scampered up the carpet tower, digging his claws deep in the padding as he went. That always felt really good. When he reached the top, he found the sleeping area already warmed for him (how kind of Persian) and sat down for a nap.

Then, he heard a door creak open, and out into the backyard strode Ryan, disheveled and slightly hung over, but chipper nonetheless. He walked over to an open area with a thin, short pen around it, and walked inside. Abra could spy with his Brock eyes that inside that pen were familiar Pokémon - Ryan’s Pokémon. These were the ones he had captured but couldn’t hold on his team, Abra knew. Richie had done the same thing when he had been a trainer. He had managed to capture a lot more Pokémon than Ryan, though, even on his first journey.

In that pen, Abra spied the Nidorino Ryan had accidentally caught a long time ago back in Pallet Town. He saw his master embrace the little purple creature, as if they had met for the first time. So too in the cage were Matata and Clawey, two of Ryan’s first Pokémon, and two that Abra himself remembered quite fondly. He remembered especially how Matata (who had been a mere Kakuna at the time) and him had defeated Lt. Surge for Ryan, to earn the boy his first Gym Badge. Ryan had been so proud of them for that. It made Abra feel warm inside when he remembered that.

Also in the area was the Muk that Ryan had just caught. Abra wrinkled his nose and thought he could smell the stench of that monster even from his perch. He had no idea why Ryan had caught such a disgusting and hideous-looking Pokémon. He watched as, when his master went to embrace his Muk, the Muk lurched forward and swallowed the boy up in his goo. Ryan screamed like a girl, reminding Abra of the great Koga.

In a pond in the pen, there was also a Magikarp and Squirtle - two additional recent catches of Ryan. Despite all that Abra had been through with Ryan, he found it odd that the boy kept him on his team. He was a mere Abra, a lowly Pokémon, and yet Ryan had not put him in storage, as he had with Matata and Clawey, to test out some of the others. The little Psychic Pokémon could not guess as to why that was.

One thing he did know, however, as he watched his master hug his Squirtle and watch it shoot Water Guns into the air, was that Ryan truly loved his Pokémon. He was their friend, more so than their master, and that was a big difference from his father. Ryan didn’t work his Pokémon like his father had: where Richie had commanded a tight, disciplined crew, Ryan was a casual owner, who often let his Pokémon out of their Poké Balls to travel with him, and never made their training too strenuous. That was something Abra’s previous master would have never been caught dead doing.

“You stole Persian’s place,” came the cackle of a keen-eyed Squirtle.

Abra turned around and looked down the cat tower, to where the sneaky lil sneaker stood, hands on his hips, grinning a sharp-tooth grin. “Mind your own business,” he told the Squirtle.

“Persian won’t be happy when he wakes up.”

“Don’t wake him up,” Abra replied in cold annoyance. “Or I’ll glue you inside your shell again.”

“That’s it, I’m telling Mommy!” the Squirtle whined and ran off.

Abra sighed. “This isn’t going to end well,” he whispered, and jumped off the cat tower. He walked over to Persian, who was still passed out, his tail fluttering, and his snores reaching obscene levels. Abra swatted at the Persian’s tail a few times, in spite of himself.

He followed Squirtle into the kitchen, where Ryan’s mother was doing the dishes. Abra thought she looked like Alex, for just the shortest of moments. He quickly determined, however, that her face was not actually whiny. The whiner was, in truth, her pet. Squirtle was tugging at her apron and whining and whining and whining.

She looked down at him and laughed. “What do you want now, Squirty?”

“Abra stole Persian’s sleepy spot. I saw it, I saw it, I saw it, I did! Oh, oh, oh!”

“Slow down, boy, I can’t understand you,” she said sweetly. Then, she looked up and saw Abra peering into the room. “Oh, Abra! It’s nice to see you! It’s been a while. Here, are you hungry?” she asked him.

“Not really.”

“Great, have a berry!”

She tossed him a little purple berry. It was a single berry. Abra had never eaten a single berry before. What was wrong with Ryan’s mother? He could not begin to guess. Humans were such weird creatures. Yet, he caught the berry anyways and downed it in a single, sweet gulp. Squirtle complained until he too got a single solitary berry. However, when he went to munch it up, Abra used his psychic powers to pull the berry from the Tiny Turtle Pokémon’s grasp. Crunch! came the sound of Squirtle biting down on his own stubby finger. He didn’t even see the berry fly right over to Abra’s open mouth. By the time Squirtle looked up, tears of pain in his eyes, the berry was long gone. He glanced over at Abra, who was smiling sinisterly.

“No fair, he stole it. Mommy, he stole it! Give me another! I need a berry! It’s no fair!” he squealed.

“Come on, Squirty, go play with Abra in the other room,” Ryan’s mother soothed. “I’m busy now. I don’t want all this drama in the kitchen.”

“B-but…”

“Out!” she yelled forcefully.

And out the two scampered. Squirtle chased Abra into the living room. There, Abra was cornered. He turned around to face the livid water Pokémon, who was huffing and puffing and sweating like an overweight postal worker.

“No fair,” Squirtle complained. “You took my berry.”

“No I didn’t,” Abra wheezed lazily.

“Yes, you did. I was eating it and then it was gone. It must’ve been you! I know it was you! You always do that stuff to me!”

It was true, Abra had to admit. Back before Ryan went on his journey, Abra had messed with Squirtle almost every day. But the blue-skinned Pokémon had deserved every torment, Abra knew. Snitches get stitches. Every Pokémon - aside from this stupid Squirtle - knew that.

“You’re going to pay for that,” Squirtle insisted. “I challenge you to a Pokémon battle!”

Abra raised an eyebrow. “Pokémon don’t fight other Pokémon,” he said. “We need masters to tell us what to do.”

Squirtle wasn’t listening. He turned on the television, which was on a Pokémon battle channel (Richie’s favorite channel now that he was retired). Battle music blared throughout the room, waking even the Persian, who quickly jumped off the cat tower to watch this clash of titans.

“Water Gun!” Squirtle roared.

“Psychic,” yawned Abra.

Abra was faster. He had always been faster, and he always would. This went beyond their species’ differences, though. Abra was a higher level. He was a grizzled veteran of Pokémon battles, having been through four tournaments with Richie and another he was about to go through with Ryan. Squirtle had probably never battled anyone ever. Ryan’s mother never left the house with him. Thus, the Water Gun never went off (which Abra knew, was a good thing, for that would have ruined the carpet). Abra’s Psychic attack swiftly silenced his foe, and once Squirtle keeled over in a daze, the Psi Pokémon marched out of the room. He heard Persian from the other room shout after him:

“Hey wait, how did I end up on the lower part of the cat tower?! Did you move me again?! Hey, Abra, get back here!”

Abra scampered off to Ryan’s room, to get a little peace and quiet. He had never been in here before. Why would he have? Ryan had not been his master until the moment the two left the house, so he had never bothered going in there. Now, he could.

Inside, the room was dust-covered and dark. He used his psychic powers to flick on the light. The walls were painted blue with clouds painted on the ceiling, and Ryan had a bunk bed made of dark cherry wood in the corner. His room was rather unremarkable, however - a television was in the corner, clothes were strewn about, there were bookshelves of books Ryan had surely never read, and the boy had a fat mini fridge tucked away behind some shelves. Abra walked up to that, opened it, and pulled out a cold soda that had probably been in there for months. He didn’t care. He cracked it open and began to sip sweet soda from it. It wouldn’t do for Ryan to know that he liked people food and drinks, though, so when he was done, he flung the empty can behind Ryan’s bed.

Walking over to the boy’s desk, Abra jumped on the boy’s desk chair - which was made of black leather and was a spinny chair, much to the Pokémon’s delight. He spun himself around many a time, until he felt sick, and then wondered why he had done that. Shaking the dizziness from his frail little body, Abra climbed up onto the desk to see what Ryan had up there.

Abra noticed many a Pokémon magazine - most were battle updates, tournament issues, or issues about the Gym Leaders of Kanto. The one on the very top was a colorful little magazine with a Squirtle, Bulbasaur, and Charmander on its front, all engaged in a three-way battle. In bright yellow writing, the magazine’s title said, ‘Water, Fire, Grass - Which Starter Is Right For You?’ Abra opened the magazine and a little white piece of paper fell out. On it, Ryan had written a list of Pokémon, and crossed most of them out. He had circled Charmander, but next to that, he had written in pen ‘Not enough time’. Further down the list, past a myriad of crossed-out Pokémon - including Abra himself - Ryan had circled Persian. Abra dropped the paper and hopped off Ryan’s desk chair.

He returned to the fridge and got himself another soda, downed it, crushed up the can, hopped back on Ryan’s desk chair and pointed the can into the air like it was a sword. He began to spin the chair again, and pretended he was a powerful Alakazam fighting in the Indigo League.

Suddenly the door opened, and Ryan walked in. “Huh, Abra? What are you doing in here? And what’s that you’ve got in your hand?”

“It’s nothing,” Abra replied hastily. “I was just playing Dora the Explorer.”

“Man, I wish I could understand you,” Ryan sighed. He walked over to his dresser and began rummaging through it. “Anyways, you can stay in here if you want. Just don’t mess anything up, alright? I have to go talk to mom and dad.”

“I won’t do anything bad,” Abra promised.

Abra’s master seemed to understand that, for he nodded, gathered up the clothes he had taken from his dresser, and left the room. It was at that moment that Abra realized he had no idea what they were doing here. Why had Ryan returned home? He had badges yet to collect; he had to sign up for the Indigo League soon if he wanted to get in it. Why was he wasting time bringing Abra back here? Did he just want to see the Pokémon he had caught? Abra suspected not.

He cracked open the door, peering down the hallway. There was no one there, not even Squirtle. All was quiet. Abra crept out. As he walked down the hallway, Abra noticed the door to the living room was shut closed. Was this Squirtle’s doing? Persian’s?

No, Abra soon learned. In the kitchen were the regulars - all of them, even Butterfree. Squirtle was cackling to himself, and when he saw Abra enter, he said, “Ryan’s getting reamed! Ryan’s getting reamed!”

Abra frowned. “Why?”

Squirtle giggled but said not another word. Curiosity then drove Abra back to the hallway, to the drawn door. Once there, he put his ear up against the wood and listened in.

“I-I thought it was okay…” came Ryan’s distant voice. The boy sounded a good deal sadder than the last time Abra had seen him. “M-mom said it was… it was…”

“I said no such thing,” Ryan’s mother replied emotionlessly. “I thought he was taking his own Pokémon. I didn’t know he was taking Abra.”

A chill spread across Abra’s body. He stepped back, closed his eyes, and used his psychic powers to listen in on the humans inside the room more clearly. “He’s mine,” a gruff voice said. “You had no right to steal him.” That was Richie, Abra knew. The voice was older, colder than it had been many years ago, but he knew it all the same.

“Bu-but… I didn’t have any Pokémon… and you had so many, dad…”

“You never asked me,” Richie said.

There was a long pause. “I’m sorry,” Ryan said at last. “I… I didn’t think you would mind.”

“That Abra was one of my favorite Pokémon. I bought him from a breeder,” Richie growled. “You should’ve known better than to take him. He wasn’t yours. You can be so stupid, you know that?”

“I’ve been really nice to him, and he helped me get all of my badges so far… please, can’t I keep him until the Indigo League ends? Please? I’ll bring him back afterwards.”

“No.”

“Come on, dad!”

“I said no. That Abra is my damn Pokémon, okay?!” Richie’s voice was rising harshly. “You think this is all okay? I bought him. I gave him his TMs. I made sure he was the perfect warrior. The only thing that nitwit didn’t do for me was evolve. Hell, if I started my journey with a Pokémon as experienced and powerful as that Abra, I would’ve had all the badges by now.”

“Dad, please…” came Ryan’s voice. “I really like Abra. He’s an important member of my team. I-I need him.” The boy’s voice broke with that last line.

“I already told you,” Richie spoke. “Now get out of here.”

Abra ran back to the kitchen, his body shaking. He jumped up onto a stool, ignoring the stares of Squirtle and Persian and Butterfree. Reaching for a nearby mango, Abra tried to clear his mind of what he had just heard. I don’t want to leave master, he thought. Ryan is a good trainer.

The living room door slammed open. Abra saw a blur of teal-hair fly down the hallway back to Ryan’s room. Using his thumb claw, Abra stabbed the mango, ripping into its flesh. Mango was his favorite food in the whole world. Abra loved how sweet it was, the fragrance of it, the texture of it. Yet, when he brought the yellow-orange flesh up to his mouth and tasted it, he felt nothing. It was sweet, yes, just as any mango was, but it didn’t make him feel good to eat it.

A few moments later, Ryan’s mother - a woman Abra had never learned the name of through a series of at least thirteen unfortunate events - and her husband, Richard, walked in. They sat down at the table and poured themselves some cereal.

“He’s out of control,” Richie said,” thinking he could steal a Pokémon from me. If I would’ve done that to my father, he would’ve beat me, I’ll tell you that.”

Ryan’s mother did not say a word. Her head was bowed, awkwardly, as she focused on her cereal.

“He’s a loser,” Richie continued. “Only five badges after all those weeks out there. He should have at least seven by now. And he’s barely caught any Pokémon. There’s what, five of them out there? That’s pathetic. He wouldn’t even have one without my Abra. He’s going to lose his first Indigo League match if he even gets that far. The kid’s fourteen years old, and he’s got the intelligence of a nine-year old. He’ll get beaten by any ten-year old trainer, I know it. Idiot,” he murmured, slamming his spoon into his bowl. “He doesn’t even realize how stupid he is. That’s the sad part. He’s a pathetic trainer. He has no skill and no future with Pokémon. He’ll learn that soon enough. His arrogance will get the better of him.”

Abra kept digging into the mango, taking bite after bite, hoping for one of them to taste sweet. None did. He thought back to the day he had come to this house for the first time. His breeder, a fat, short woman with curly brown hair, had raised him from birth. He barely remembered her, and didn’t even remember her name. He did remember one thing she had told him once, however:

“Remember that this trainer is your new master. You must obey him and battle any other Pokémon he asks you to. But… there is one thing he cannot make you do.” She had been carrying him up to the door, just as Ryan had, when she spoke the next line. “You should only evolve if you want to. That is your choice, my little Abra. When, and if, you evolve, you will be changed. You will become different… a part of you will remain I’m sure, but you will not be the same if you choose to become a Kadabra. You should only evolve if you feel like your trainer has earned it from you… only if you are willing to sacrifice who you are for them. Remember that, my dear.”

Richie looked up and locked eyes with Abra’s. At once, his face broadened into a smile. “Abra!” he said. “Long time no see. Glad to have you back.” The man stood up, walked over to Abra, and began scratching him behind his right ear - Abra’s most favorite scratchy spot. Abra tilted his head in pleasure. “Don’t worry, Abra. You’re back. That loser isn’t going to be using you anymore.”

Abra looked up. Even though Richie was still scratching him, he no longer felt it. “Why?” Abra said. “I like traveling with Ryan. He’s a good master.”

“That’s right Abra,” Richie chuckled, patting the Psi Pokémon on the head before returning to his chair. “You’re home. You’re back with your true master.”

Abra didn’t know what to think. He liked both of his masters. He liked Ryan and Richie in different ways… but the way Ryan’s father was talking about Ryan made Abra feel sick. He didn’t know what he could do about it.

Around the corner, Ryan poked his head. His eyes were red and raw, and he had his pack slung over his back. “Alright, I’m leaving,” Ryan said solemnly, not looking at his father. “I’ll see you a-at the tournament…”

His mother nodded stoically, while his father didn’t so much as acknowledge Ryan was there. Ryan bit his lip, looked down, and then walked out.

“Moron,” said Richie. “He’s never going to accomplish anything. He’ll figure that out now that he doesn’t have my Pokémon to win all those battles for him.”

Squirtle cackled. No one else spoke. The scraping of spoons against glass bowls clamored throughout the room. Abra couldn’t take it. No, he thought. It’s not right. Ryan’s not stupid. He doesn’t deserve this!

Before he even knew what he was doing, Abra had jumped off the stool and begun running out of the room. He came to the entryway, where Ryan was standing, getting ready to open the front door and leave the house.

(cue It’s An Ugly Life)

“Wait, come back! Wait! Don’t forget me!” Abra was yelling, running as fast as his little legs could take him.

Ryan turned around, saw Abra running up to him, kneeled, and caught the Pokémon in his arms. “Hey buddy,” he whispered. “Y-you can’t come with me… not anymore…”

“I don’t care what Richie said. I want to go with you,” Abra replied.

“It’s okay, Abra. D-don’t worry about me. I’ll be fine.” Ryan broke off the embrace and stood up. He smiled weakly at Abra. “It’s not your fault. I shouldn’t have taken you to begin with. “But,” he said, lowering his voice, “I don’t regret it. You were a great Pokémon, Abra. You helped me a lot… and not just with earning all those badges. Y-y-you were a great friend. I’ll miss you,” Ryan said, his eyes shimmering. He looked like he was about to burst out into tears, but he bit his trembling lip to stop himself. “I’ll see you around, Abra. Thanks for everything, buddy.”

With that, Ryan turned around, and walked out. The morning was still fresh, and the sun was out, shining bright in the world. The street was empty and quiet.

“Don’t go…” Abra called after him, but Ryan just raised his hand, gave a thumbs up, and never turned back around.


Moe’s Restaurant had the best ramen in the world. Ryan liked ramen; it was one of his favorite foods in the entire world. He took a table, ordered his favorite chicken and ramen dish, and buried his head in his hands. Outside, cars honked and swished through the streets as rain poured down. It was dark out - probably around 8 pm - so the restaurant would be closing soon. There were few people in the place, aside from Ryan, but he didn’t care. He didn’t want to talk to anyone. He didn’t want to think. Everytime he closed his eyes, every time he tried to think, heat rose from the back of his eyes, and a great lump welled up in his throat. It took all of his strength not to give in to that emotion. Ryan found himself missing Kelly more than ever.

“Hi, Ryan… right? Am I getting that right?” a voice spoke.

Ryan looked up. The boy standing opposite of him frowned slightly upon seeing Ryan - he sees it in my face - but, after a moment, he smiled again and sat down in the chair across the table from Ryan. Ryan didn’t stop him. He was too tired to say anything.

“I’m Logan, remember? You saved me from the Bell-Bottom Brigade yesterday?”

That feels like a lifetime ago. “Yep.”

The blue-eyed, brown-haired boy had wonder in his eyes. “So… what are you doing here?”

“Eating.”

“Well, I know that… but, aren’t you like a Pokémon trainer or something?”

“I guess.”

“Are you going around Kanto collecting all of the Gym Badges?” Ryan sighed and pulled out his little booklet of five badges. He passed it over to Logan, who opened it and had a look of awe on his face as he perused all of the badges. “Wow, you already have five!”

Ryan looked away and took a deep breath. Not enough to make dad proud. “It’s not impressive, really,” Ryan told Logan. “Hundreds of trainers get all of the Kanto badges every year.”

“Not me,” Logan said, shaking his head. “I tried to be a Pokémon trainer, but I got whooped by Lt. Surge. I guess that was a bad gym to pick as my first one!” I would’ve lost to Surge too, if not for… “And afterwards,” Logan continued, “I lost all my desire to keep going. I don’t like losing. I don’t like it at all. And I realized that I don’t like fighting much either. So I decided to become a Pokémon breeder,” Logan explained.

“Nice,” replied Ryan sadly.

“A-are you okay?” Logan asked.

“I’m fine.”

“Oh, good. So if you’re a trainer, that means you have three more Gym Badges to get, right?” Ryan nodded. “Where are you going to next?”

“Saffron.”

“Aw, that’s where Sabrina is. She has Psychic Pokémon! I heard she battles with an Abra, Kadabra, and Alakazam! All three. How cool is that?”

Ryan bit his lip until he tasted blood. He did not look up at Logan. It’s not his fault, Ryan reminded himself. He couldn’t know. “Why do you care?” he asked.

“Good question. Well, I was wondering if… well, if maybe, I could join you? I always wanted to travel around Kanto, looking for Pokémon to breed and catch and all that stuff… but my Pokémon are so weak… you already saw what happened with Falco and his friends… I don’t know if I can travel by myself. It’d be pretty dangerous, I think. But your Pokémon are so strong…”

A waitress walked over with a big bowl of broth and another bowl of ramen and set it down just in front of Ryan. “Thanks,” he said to her.

“Eat fast. We’re closing in twenty minutes,” the woman answered.

Ryan began placing his ramen in the broth with his chopsticks. Once he was done, he reached for a mass of the noodles, covered in chicken in green onions and sweet broth, and took a bite. It tasted nice, but it didn’t make him feel better.

Ryan looked up at Logan, who was staring at him eagerly. “Well, what do you say?” Logan asked quickly.

“Sure,” Ryan breathed, looking back down at his ramen. “So long as you aren’t annoying.”

“Great!” Logan shouted, causing a few of the other patrons to glance over at him in bewilderment. “I’m going on an adventure, yeah!”

Ryan remembered back when he had been so happy to set off on his own journey. He had been so full of promise and hope and love for Pokemon. How long ago that had been. He’s no Kelly, but he’ll do, Ryan thought.

He closed his eyes to savor another bite of ramen, but as soon as the darkness overcame his sight, the figure of a little Psi Pokémon poked through the endless black to gaze back at him. And though he had daggers in the back of his mind, Ryan found he couldn’t look away.

Episode 24: Fat Chansey/No Plan

They took the bullet train back to Vermillion City and set out for Route 11 towards Route 12 the next morning. It was a warm morning, and a light rain was falling. Still, Ryan and Logan plodded along without a care in the world. Well that’s not true at all, but it sounds nice.

Not long into their first journey together, Logan gave Ryan a present: it was a Poké Ball, with, presumably, a sweet ‘mon in it. “It’s a token of my appreciate for you saving me from that Falco creep!” Logan had said. A quick scan from ol’ Dexful had alerted the young trainer that his newest Pokémon was none other than an Eevee. “It’s one of the best Pokémon for breeding,” Logan explained. “I have a lot of Eevee. I called that one Dexter, but you can rename him anything you want.”

Ryan thanked Logan and then pressed the white button on his Pokédex to send Dexter back home. Ryan wondered if his Pokédex would get jealous over that Eevee’s name. Well, he won’t have time. Not yet. I won’t be using that Eevee until after the Indigo League. That was because he had already come up with his most bestest team for the tournament with the help of Alex, the Chinese prodigy who knew how to swing yo-yos on a stage in front of a large audience. He needed to make sure his six Pokémon were going to be as powerful as possible before then. Just need to catch a Haunter, and I’ll have everyone I need. Of course, his newest member of his final team - Muk - was not one he had expected to use. But things change, and in the end, everything goes away. So he had to adapt.

By midday, they had reached the outskirts of Vermillion City and were now on the dirt path that was Route 11. For a while they roamed, not seeing another person or Pokémon. The surrounding forest seemed to box them in, and tall grass was all over the place. It was all Ryan could do to stay on the path and never ever venture into the tall grass (he’d once seen a movie that had made him horrified of tall grass). So he didn’t. Even so, most of his Pokémon were out and stretching their legs - Aegon, Swirlie Whirlie, Myrrah, and Thurnax. He kept Reek (his Muk) in a Poké Ball since ain’t nobody wan’ dat stank on ‘em.

The two came upon a gate leading them into a deeper forest of Route 11 where the road became little more than an animal trail. As the two boys made their way forward, suddenly from the tall grass came a man - tall and with blond, spiky hair. He wore military pants, boots, a military-style green undershirt, dog tags, and black sunglasses. This was a grizzled veteran if Ryan had ever seen one before: it was, of course, Lt Surge who stood before him. The first Gym Leader I ever faced.

“Hey, kid, long time no see,” Surge said warmly. He looked over at Logan and narrowed his eyes. “Oh, we fought too, didn’t we?”

“U-uh, yeah! You beat me pretty bad though,” Logan said, going red.

“Hey, that’s alright. Keep workin’ at it, and ya’ll do fine. Come back’n challenge me again when yar Pokémon are stronger, eh?”

“Ye-yeah, sure!” said the liar, aka Logan, who had, in the very previous chapter, no less, swore to Ryan that he had quit being a trainer after getting destroyed by Lt. Surge. Of course Ryan wasn’t a snitch, so he wasn’t about to say anything.

“What are you doing out here?” the teal-haired boy asked instead. “Vermillion City is miles back.”

“Oh, nuthin’, just been training my Electabuzz.”

“You have an Electabuzz? Can I see it?”

“Sure, kid,” Surge replied in that gruff voice of his. He unhooked a Poké Ball from his belt and threw it, and out popped a Pokémon that definitely looks like it’s a gen 2 Pokémon (at least) if not gen 4.

“Electabuzz, the Electric Pokémon. If a major power outage occurs, it is certain that this Pokémon has eaten electricity at a power plant.”

“Wow, cool,” Ryan murmured. “I’ve seen these on tv… but I’ve never seen one in person.”

“Hey, how aboutta battle?” Surge asked. “Come on, one of your Pokémon,” he said, gesturing to Ryan’s regal entourage, “against mine. If you win, I’ll give ya a special prize!”

“You’re on,” said Ryan, determination thick in his voice.

“Hey whatever happened to that Abra and Kakuna ya used on me last time?” Surge asked. “I don’t see them here.”

“I don’t have them with me,” Ryan replied coldly. He doesn’t need to know why. Better if he never knows.

“Oh, okay… well, let’s go, eh?”

“Yeah.”

“Alright! Take him out, Ryan!” Logan shouted with glee. He wants me to get back at the man who humiliated him. Well he’s lucky I want the prize… whatever it is. As long as it’s not Girl Scout cookies, I’m good

“Go Aegon,” Ryan commanded.

“Meleon!!! Meleeeeeeon!” the Charmeleon complained. “Char char, char char!”

“Stop it, Aegon,” Ryan sighed. “Don’t embarrass me in front of Lt. Surge.”

“Char!”

“I said get in there!” Ryan shouted. “Or no candy for a week!”

“Meleon?!” The horror in Aegon’s voice was enough to take the breath away.

“I’m not kidding boy. Go fight the Electabuzz!” There was anger in Ryan’s voice, raw and unchecked. He still hadn’t got over what had happened yesterday, and he didn’t mean to take it out on Aegon, but… he should be listening to me anyways. I’m his master, and I have five badges. He’s not even a Charizard yet. He has no excuse not being loyal.

The Charmeleon dropped his head and stumbled forward to face the much-taller electric Pokémon. “Heh, alright, let’s whoop that Charmeleon. Electabuzz, use Thunder!!”

“Buzz…!”

“Aegon, use Slash.”

“Char.”

Aegon was faster, so he slashed the Electabuzz across the face with his very sharp claws. Electabuzz shrieked in pain and proceeded to miss with his Thunder attack. It was awesome. It was like Lt. Surge was a master of high definition.

“Thunder again!” Surge roared.

“Fire Blast, Aegon.”

The Charmeleon leapt forward, flames boiling out from between his teeth. He landed just in front of the Electabuzz.

“Thunder him!” Lt. Surge yelled desperately.

But Charmeleon was too fast. He unleashed his torrent of orange flames on his foe, burning the Electabuzz to a crisp. He looked like a burnt marshmallow.

“Electa… buzz…” the electric Pokémon coughed before falling over.

“Unbelievable!” Lt. Surge said. His eyes went wide and he grasped onto his hair and fell to his knees. “That Charmeleon’s pretty powerful… I bet he’s going to evolve soon!”

“Yep,” replied Ryan apathetically. “Good work, buddy. Come back.”

“Wow, that was so cool. You’ve gotta teach me how to fight like that,” Logan said, punching Ryan’s arm softly.

“Char, char, char!” The Charmeleon strutted back, posing and flashing his muscles for the trainers and Pokémon. He put on a good show, and I’m sure they were all really proud of him. Now he’s bragging; he didn’t even want to fight that Electabuzz a couple minutes ago.

“Man, kid. Ya’ve really grown a lot stronger since the last time we fought,” Surge grinned. “I remember when ya barely beat my Electrode with two Pokémon combined. Hah! My Electrode wasn’t nearly as powerful as my Electabuzz.”

“Thanks.” Ryan bowed his head.

“Oh yeah, I almost forget… your prize. Heheh, here, catch, kid.”

Surge threw a small metal canister Ryan’s way. When the boy caught it, he saw a tiny inscription etched on the front of it that read ‘Thunderbolt’. His heart began to race and he looked up at Lt. Surge, his mouth agape. “Th-this… this is a TM, right?!”

“Yep. TM 24.”

“Awesome!” Ryan smiled for the first time in a long time. “This is just the move I need for my Gengar!”

“Gengar?” Lt. Surge eyed the Pokémon standing behind Ryan. “I don’t see a Gengar, kid.”

“Well, I haven’t caught him yet, but I will once I get to Lavender Town.”

“Heh, well good luck wit’ that. It’s gettin’ late. I better get back to the gym. I bet there’s a bunch of kids waitin’ to challenge me.”

“Alright, see ya,” said Logan quickly. He’s eager to get out of here; doesn’t want to have to spend another moment with the man who humiliated him. I don’t blame him. Ryan thought back to yesterday, to how quickly he had left his parent’s home after realizing why they had asked him to visit them.

“Yeah, bye,” Ryan said, feeling the canister over before placing it in his backpack.

Now I just need to catch my Haunter, and I’m good. He felt alright, but not as good as he had felt the last time he’d beaten someone or found a TM. There was something missing now, a hollow feeling in his chest every time he battled, and he knew so long as things remained the same, that would not go away. He blinked rapidly before motioning to Logan to follow him deeper into Route 11. Lt. Surge walked off in the other direction. Ryan watched him go for a minute, feeling the light midday rain on his cheeks. Ya’ve really grown a lot stronger since the last time we fought, Surge had told him. I just wish Abra was here to hear that.


Deep in the wilderness of Route 11, Ryan and Logan came upon a rickety old bridge. It was not really a bridge over troubled waters, so to speak, but a long planky one extending out over the tall grass and further into the forest. Clever, thought Ryan. This way trainers can travel through the route without having to battle wild Pokémon if they don’t want to.

At the front of the bridge stood a girl holding a Nidorina. When she saw Ryan, she got really excited. “I’ll trade my Nidorina for your Nidorino!” she called. “What do you say?”

“Are you crazy?” Ryan replied. “This is way too far into the story for me to still be using a Nidorino. I have an Indigo League to win! And if you expect me to win with a Nidorina, well I have a bridge to sell you...” With that, he walked right past the stunned girl with Logan and his Pokémon hot on his heels.

Onto the bridge they went. It was an old bridge, a terrible bridge, a bridge for people who like Flight of the Concords. As the group shuffled on deeper into the forest, a curious thing happened: little egg children ran forward to confront them, blocking their path. They wore costumes of pink and white and looked like ballerinas mixed with eggs. It was the most bizarre sight Ryan had ever seen.

“Stop! You shall not pass!” one voice, a boy’s, said.

“Oh look, it’s Happinys, wow!” Logan shouted, eagerly pushing his way forward. “There’s so many!”

Indeed, there were - perhaps one dozen, a baker’s dozen, even three dozen and a quarter little children dressed up as ugly decorated eggs. Ryan didn’t get it. “What’s a Happiny?” he asked.

“It’s the baby form of Chansey,” Logan said. “Wow, there’s so many! I want to catch one! I’ve always wanted a Chansey!”

“There is no such thing as Happiny,” came the monotone voice of Dex from Ryan’s pocket. That prompted the boy to take his red Pokédex out and point it at the children. “There are no Pokémon here. Happiny is not a real Pokémon. There are only 151 Pokémon. It is known.”

“It is known,” murmured Ryan.

“Gotta catch ‘em all,” droned Dex, fervent as a woodchipper.

“Well, you can’t argue with that logic,” Ryan shrugged.

“No, it’s not true. Those are Happinys!!” Logan sang. He took a Poké Ball out of his bag and threw it. Out came a Scyther. “Catch me one of those,” he ordered his Pokémon.

“Scythe!”

Ryan raised an eyebrow. He has a Scyther. He said he sucked as a trainer, yet he captured one of those Pokémon… The thought made Ryan remember the Scyther he had once befriended near Pallet Town, who had helped him stop an insidious Team Rocket plot. I wanted him to join me. But he just ran off into the forest. That about sums up my Pokémon journey so far.

“Use your Quick Attack, Echo!” Logan ordered.

“Wait, dude, stop!” Ryan yelped. “Those aren’t Pokémon. They’re little kids dressed up!”

“Mother’s gonna punish you!” one child teased.

“Mother doesn’t like it when fights break out on her bridge.”

Logan was unconvinced. “I know a Happiny when I see one.”

“You don’t know anything,” Ryan replied angrily. “Look, these aren’t Happinys! They’re talking like normal kids!”

“You have to pay a toll to cross,” said one of the Happiny children. “It’s 100 Poké Dollars per person.”

“Wha… are you kidding me?!” Ryan screamed, his voice cracking. “That’s a ripoff!” He turned back to Logan. “Okay, okay, order your Scyther to knock these greedy little brats into the tall grass… I mean, catch yourself a Happiny.”

“Chansey!!” came a shriek from nearby. Before Ryan could see who had shouted such a foul word, he was hit in the side of the head and fell over. A second later, Echo and Logan fell over too. Ryan’s Pokémon behind him were likewise taken out in a flash.

And what had taken them out, you may wonder? Why, it was none other than the fastest Pokémon in the world. Standing before them, fat as a pre 2011 Rahul, stood a pink Pokémon. Ryan recognized it instantly. Chansey. For a moment, doubt crept into his mind. If there really is a Chansey here, maybe those Happinys are real. But no, that couldn’t be true. Only Generation 1 exists, as we all know.

The Chansey jiggled her belly and yelled, “Chansey, chansey!”

Ryan pointed his Pokédex at her. “Chansey, the Egg Pokémon. A gentle and kind-hearted Pokémon that shares its nutritious eggs if it sees an injured Pokémon.”

“Gentle and kindhearted? Are you kidding me? Dex, you’re a filthy liar!” Ryan sat up and massaged the sore point on his head. “Why’d you do that, anyways?” he asked the Chansey angrily. “We were just trying to cross the bridge.”

“Chansey, chansey, chanseeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeey!” came the sweet reply from the tub o’ lard.

Well that clears things up. These Pokémon have no idea that no one can understand them. They can understand us; why don’t they speak our language?!

“We’re sorry!” Logan responded, sitting up and waving his hands about. “W-we didn’t know this was your bridge! We’ll happily turn around and go back.”

“Chansey, chansey.”

“Oh look, another enlightening quote from Chansey.” Ryan’s voice dripped with sarcasm. He began to clap. “Well done. Thanks for all the useful things you’ve said.”

“Chansey!” The Chansey’s voice was now getting angry as well, which didn’t phase Ryan in the slightest. My Pokémon could take on that fat thing easily. I’ve about had it with her.

“Look,” Ryan began, “just let us through. I don’t care what you have going on here with all the kids dressed up like Fakemon. Not my problem. I just want to get to Lavender Town. Is that so hard? Just let us through or I’ll have my Pokémon deal with you! This is a free route! Any trainer’s allowed to travel through here! I’m not paying one Poké Dollar, either!”

“Chansey, chansey, chanse!”

Ryan stood up and crossed his arms. “Enough of this nonsense! Thurnax, take the loudmouth out.”

“No wait,” Logan said. “We still don’t know what’s going on.”

“I don’t want to know what’s going on.”

“Let me find out.” Logan walked up to the Chansey, who stood quivering, standing in front of the many little children. She was frowning. I’ve never seen a Chansey frown before. “What’s going on here?” he asked her, in a gentle, soothing voice. “Come on girl, you don’t have to be scared. Just tell me what’s happened. Why are you attacking anyone who comes onto this bridge and making them pay tolls?”

The Chansey began to ramble. It said its name at least fifty times, and Ryan could not understand a word of it. But Logan stood there, his head down, staring at a small notepad in his hands, taking notes, sometimes nodding, sometimes grunting in understanding. Is he pretending? Or does he really understand the Chansey? Ryan was getting flashbacks back to his mother and her Squirtle, and that made him want to throw up.

“I see,” Logan said after the Chansey ended her long-winded speech that would have made Arnesen & Arnesen look like Greg Hughes. “So… you were right. These aren’t Happinys.”

“I knew it. I swear on me mum, I knew it!” Ryan yelled, his eyes bloodshot and his mouth close to foaming. “I told you this Chansey is messed up. Let’s get out of here!”

“She said she has no plan,” Logan continued, “so she brought them here.”

“Brought who?”

“The kids.”

“What kids?”

“Well, they aren’t Happinys.”

“Right you are.”

Logan ignored Ryan’s shenanigans, as he was wont to do. “They’re orphans. Kids with no place to go. Chansey’s taken them in, because no one else wanted to, apparently. She’s trying to raise them out here. But she says it’s hard. She’s been squeezing tolls out of travelers to pay for feeding and clothing all the children.”

“Great. Let’s go to Lavender Town now.”

“Ryan, you know this wouldn’t be a good episode of a Pokémon story if we didn’t solve this problem!”

“I don’t care about that.”

“Come on.”

Ryan shook his head. “What are we supposed to do? Even if you did understand that Chansey, which I don’t believe for one second, what are we supposed to do with all these orphans?”

“Take them back home?”

“Oh yeah, and where is that?”

“I don’t know. Probably Vermillion City. We should start there. At least, we should tell an Officer Jenny,” said Logan.

“Fat chance,” Ryan replied. “We have places to be. I have to get to Saffron City.”

“Fine, I’ll call an Officer Jenny. I’ll use a payphone. I’ll let her know the kids are out here. The police can decide what to do.”

“Great. Let’s go.”

“Chansey!!” Chansey bellowed. She ran and jumped to the other side of the bridge, blocking Logan’s path off of the thing.

“Uh oh,” Ryan said, “looks like ol’ blubberbelly doesn’t want you to do that.” He laughed cruelly. “You’ll have to deal with this one. Show her you’re a real Pokémon trainer, Logan.”

“Chansey chansey chanse, see!” Logan pleaded. Is he really trying to talk in the Pokémon language Ryan wondered. Why haven’t I ditched him yet?

Logan and the Chansey debated back and forth for a good three minutes. It was thrilling stuff, so thrilling that Ryan nearly fell asleep. By the end of it, Logan was pointing at Chansey, his face flushed. He was yelling something, but Ryan wasn’t paying attention. And then a green blur blew past the teal-haired boy and that got his attention. Now, Echo the Scyther stood against Chansey. The two were itching for a fight. I knew it would come to this. But Logan had to go and prolong things. He’ll need to learn that I won’t allow such things to happen in the future.

“I told you this was how it was going to end,” Ryan said helpfully. “This is how it always ends.”

“She doesn’t want to give up her ‘children’,” Logan replied, not looking at Ryan. “But these are kids… little kids who don’t know better. She should know better than to steal them from Vermillion City. She can’t raise them out here. Not alone… she may have good intentions, but this isn’t going to end well. And I think, deep down, she knows that. Don’t you?” he asked the Chansey, but she just frowned back at him.

“Teach her a lesson,” Ryan yawned.

“Go Mama!” yelled one kid.

“Chansey, chanse!” shouted another.

“I like turtles,” offered a third.

A fourth shouted, “I wanna be president… for life!!”

Ryan thought this was a little messed up. “What do you think, Thurnax?” he asked his Dragonite, who was as much as spectator as he.

“Brawaaauauauaaugh!”

“I thought so.”

“Echo, use Quick Attack!”

“Scyther!”

“Chansey!”

Ryan opened his Pokédex and pointed it at the fight between the Chansey and the Scyther in front of him. “How long is this going to take, Dexy-poo?”

“Never call me that again,” Dex droned helplessly. “If things continue as they are going, the Scyther will knock out the Chansey in seven more turns, possibly. Additionally, Chansey is using Pound, which is possibly the worst attack ever.”

“Seven turns?!” Ryan nearly pulled out all of his beautiful hair (which was, all of it, above the neck). “Are you kidding me?!”

“No am I not kidding with you, master. I would never do so.”

“Logan, hurry up!” Ryan shouted over to the other trainer. “Or I’m leaving you here. I’ve got places to be.” He’s sure doing a lot of battling for someone who says he’s quit being a Pokémon trainer.

Ryan looked over at the children dressed as a fake Pokémon that surely never existed ever. “So what’re you doing out here?” he asked the nearest child. She looked at him, sneezed and skipped away. That about summed up Ryan’s life. “What about you?” he asked another one. “How’d you end up out here.”

“I don’t care what the future holds, cuz I’m right here and I’m today,” the child said, her monotone almost as impressive as Dex’s. This is the cult of Chansey, Ryan realized, and that chilled him to the bone.

“There’s no way you’re a little kid.” For a second, Ryan contemplated throwing a Poké Ball at that one - he may have been a real fake Pokémon. But he convinced himself not to at the last second. I don’t want to have to explain anything to Officer Jenny when she gets here.

Ryan looked back over at Logan, who was in all his glory. He had never been a successful trainer, but here he was, protecting the children who were being brainwashed by the Chansey. At least, Ryan thought that what was going on. He wasn’t really paying attention. He turned his focus back to the dressed-up children.

“Hey, if I use an old rod here, do you think it would work?” he asked the kids. They gave him blank stares and blank stares alone. “If I had an old rod, I’d throw my line out into the tall grass. I bet that’d catch me a real good Pokémon.” No one said anything. “Nothing? Nothing? Okay, okay. That’s fine. Go back to what it is you do,” he said, waving off the children. But they just stood there, staring at him. One was sipping a capri sun, and that gave Ryan a mighty thirst. “Hey, you got any more of those?” The Happiny shook his head. “Fine, I see how it is.”

The sun began to set as the battle between Chansey and Scyther continued. One used Quick Attack, the other used Pound. It was a trading of meager moves that did little damage. But that’s what you get when you have two Pokémon who are really low levels. I bet that Chansey isn’t above level 20. Logan’s Scyther probably isn’t much higher.

Finally, Ryan decided he had had enough of this nonsense. He stood up and tried to push his way past the kids to freedom. However, when he tried to make his way through the sea of Happinys, they all grabbed his arms and legs and prevented him from moving. “H-hey… get offa me!” Ryan shouted.

“Not until you pay your toll,” one girl said. “Mama always makes trainers pay a toll.”

Ryan was forced to return to his Pokémon. If he had been a baaaaad man, he could’ve just blasted his way through the children with his Pokémon. But that didn’t feel right, and he had not the heart to set their little egg suits aflame with Aegon’s Fire Blast, even though it would probably look lit as heck. So he sat back down, his feet dangling over the edge of the bridge and into the tall grass, and laid back, staring at the darkening sky. Rahul will beat Koga pretty soon, and then he’ll be on his way to Celadon. He may be already there. I have to go faster. I can’t just spend days and days out here in the wild doing inane hero quests with Logan. He looked over at the Chansey and Scyther and noticed that neither one had won yet.

A girl sat down next to Ryan and giggled as she watched Aegon and Myrrah playing ‘I Spy’. “Cool Pokémon,” she said.

“Thanks.”

“Are they really strong?”

“Strong enough to beat that Chansey.”

“Hey, don’t talk about Mama like that,” the girl shot back. “She’s great.”

“Oh yeah, what’s so great about her?”

“She promised she would take care of us when no one else would! Mama's gonna keep us right here under her wing, she promised. She won't let us fly but she might let us sing.”

“That’s nice. But you know, you’re a human, and she’s a Pokémon, right? It’s not like she could be your real mother.”

“She is too! She buys food for us and plays games with us and never lets anything hurt us!”

Maybe she’s right. Maybe we should just leave the kids here. Chansey seems like a fine enough mother. Ryan glanced over at Logan, who was dripping with sweat. His Scyther was all beat up, but so was Chansey. And when he heard Logan cry, ‘Quick Attack, one last time!’, Ryan saw Echo shoot forward in a blur, slam his claws into Chansey, and the pink Pokémon with the egg in her pouch fell over, off the bridge, and into the tall grass. Or not.

“No!!”

“Mommy!”

“You big meanie! You hurt our Mama!”

The children began to scream and cry in cacophony. Ryan covered his poor sensitive ears. Logan, however, did not relish in his victory. He ran down the bridge, to where it met the ground and then disappeared into the forest to find a payphone. Since this is the Pokémon world, where nothing ever makes sense, Ryan knew that there would have to be a payphone out there somewhere, just like the tollbooth that existed on the beach on the Island of the Giant Pokémon. He would bet all of his Poké Dollars on it.

“What did he do to Mummy?! What did he do to Mummy?!” a little British girl was squealing.

“Calm down, he just knocked her out,” Ryan replied casually. But that made all of the children fall silent, with a few of them letting out gasps of shock.

A long while passed before Logan returned. In that time, Ryan had to entertain the children, lest they decide to turn on him too. And he was not desirous of being flung into the tall grass, where who knows what kind of Pokémon lurked. He had Swirlie Whirlie perform aerial maneuvers and had Aegon and Myrrah shoot their ice and fire attacks to see whose could go the farthest. That kept the children decently entertained, but there was still sadness on all of their faces.

When Logan returned, he ran right up to Ryan, poked him, and whispered, “Officer Jenny and the Sunshine Girls are going to get here soon.”

“Oh good. I’m glad this all hasn’t taken very much time.”

“He’s the one who hurt Mommy!” a girl shouted, noticing Logan. “Get him!”

The children lurched forward collectively and began to run at Ryan, Logan, and their Pokémon.

“Whoa, whoa, whoa. Hey, stop it! Violence is not the answer! Make love not war!” Ryan pleaded, but the children ignored him and stampeded over him like a wild pack of hungry Tauros.

When they got to Logan, they pushed him and his tired Scyther all the way back to the edge of the bridge, where he was dangerously close to falling into the tall grass. Just before the children could do the deed, however, a voice rang out:

“Chansey! Chansey! Chansey, chansey, chansey!”

The children stopped and looked and saw. There was their mother, the beaten-up Chansey, standing at the foot of the bridge. She looked terrible, absolutely dreadful, but she was smiling nonetheless.

Logan said, “Chansey, please… we’re just trying to help the kids. They need real homes, real moms and dads to raise them! They can’t live out here in the forest with you forever! It’s not right, and you know it!”

Chansey nodded. She walked forward and took a white egg out of her pouch. Then she handed it to Echo, who took it between his claws and began to nibble on it. “Chansey, chansey. See, chanse, see see!” she said to her children. “Chansey, chansey. Chansey, chansey.”

Ryan looked at the children, who were mesmerized by their cult leader. They’d drink any kind of kool-aid for her. A few began to cry, as if they understood her soft, sweet, sad voice, and others ran up to her to hug her. She let them.

Soon after, Officer Jenny and other policemen arrived. They gathered up the children and took a head count before loading them on a police bus. After it was done, the Vermillion City Officer Jenny walked up to the beaten-down Chansey and spoke:

“You don’t have to worry about a thing! I’ll make sure all of these kids find good homes. You can count on me.”

“Chansey.”

“You did a really good job of watching over these kids,” Officer Jenny continues. “And for that, we’re giving you the Papa John’s Badge of Honor!” She nodded, and another officer stepped forward and handed Officer Jenny a red ribbon. In the distance, Papa John squatted by some bushes and fist-pumped the air as if he had just won the Super Bowl. Officer Jenny placed the ribbon on Chansey’s head and stepped back. “Thanks for taking care of the kids. But it’s time for them to return back into society. I hope you understand.”

“Chansey, chanse.”

“Great! If you ever want a job in the city, I know a Nurse Joy who is in need of a new Chansey assistant.”

“Chansey.”

“Great, well, if you need anything else, don’t hesitate to give me a call!” Officer Jenny smiled, gave a peace sign, and then bolted off to the bus with her policemen.

A second later, the bus started up and drove off back towards the city. Chansey stood there watching her children go. Ryan could see many of them gathered around the windows, looking back at Chansey, some calling after her, telling her how much they were going to miss her or how they would never forget her or how they loved her so. And then they were gone, off into the night.

Silence fell across the forest. Ryan saw tears in the Chansey’s eyes. “Come on, we should get going,” he said to Logan.

“Ye-yeah, I guess so.” Logan walked over to Chansey and patted her on the shoulder. “Sorry it had to end like this, but it really was in the best interest of everyone. I hope you understand.”

“Ch-chanse…”

Ryan and Logan once again climbed onto the bridge, with Aegon leading the way with his fiery tail. As they went on, Ryan looked back and saw the Chansey still standing there in the middle of the road, as if she was waiting for the bus to return for her. She really loved them. She wanted a family just as much as they did, he realized. He stopped and grabbed Logan’s shoulder.

“Hold up, Logan. Look,” he said, pointing to the Chansey.

“She’s pretty sad,” Logan admitted.

“All she wanted was a family,” Ryan said. He hadn’t liked the Chansey or the children or really how any of the day had gone, but now that it was all over, he couldn’t help but feel sorry for her. “Why don’t you go see if she wants some company.”

Logan gave Ryan a curious look but then walked back over to the Chansey. Ryan stood back, just out of earshot. He still didn’t know if Logan knew how to speak Chansey, or if his communications were all a clever ruse. It didn’t matter. Things went exactly how Ryan had expected them. Within a few minutes, Chansey and Logan were hugging, and before Ryan knew it, the Chansey had jumped into a fresh Poké Ball. Logan got the Pokémon he always wanted, and Chansey’s got a few family.

“Char char,” Charmeleon observed.

“Yep, buddy. There’s a new Pokémon in our group,” Ryan said, scratching Aegon’s ears. “I’m a matchmaker, aren’t I?” He shook his head in disbelief. “Of all the things I ever wanted to be, that would’ve been the last one on the list.” But in the end, I made two people happy. And the kids are all going to be able to grow up in normal society now.

“Thanks,” Logan said when he returned.

Ryan patted him on the back. “You did good, dude.”

“How did you know Chansey wanted to join us?”

“I knew a few Pokémon like her,” Ryan said. “Now let’s get going. We’re way behind schedule. No more of these filler episodes, okay? We have to get to Lavender Town, and then to Saffron City.”

“But that wasn’t filler! I got a new Pokémon! And you got some nice character development,” Logan pointed out.

“Yeah, well I just wish Alex was here to appreciate that. He loves character development.”

“Who’s Alex?” Logan asked.

“You’ll meet him soon enough.”

And with that, Ryan began walking across the bridge. Logan followed him. Most of their Pokémon marched along with them. And above, the stars were out, shining bright. In the distance, perhaps, a keen-eyed wanderer may have spotted a little pink dot, just as big as a far-distant star, flicker and bob before burning out.

Episode 25: Too Spooky

They came to Route 12 the next morning, which was a planky-town built upon wooden boards, stretching out over the waters beyond the forests of Route 11. Ryan and Logan bought some breakfast at a shack in the middle of the route (known affectionately as ‘The Salt of My Eye’), which was situated on a small island located between the northern and southern sections of the plank bridge. After their bellies had been filled, they got directions to Lavender Town and set off down the road.

Up north, where the island met the wooden bridge, Ryan spied a brown-haired boy running about in the sand, which was quite odd, since he was fully clothed. He was waving his cell phone around, and Ryan was sure the boy was Snapchatting like this was 1999. The boy was far-off, messing about on the beach, but Ryan thought he found the trainer familiar. Before he could run up to get a closer look, out of nowhere, a tall muscled woman in nothing but a thin two-piece bikini came running over, picked the boy up, and ran off. Ryan saw the boy scream with delight and raise his hands to the sky, as if he was thanking Pokégod.

“That was odd.” Ryan’s voice barely rose above the crashing of the waves. Salt was heavy in the air.

“Yeah, I wonder why that woman wasn’t acting her age,” Logan yawned.

Further ahead, the two came to a gate on the water, which was guarded by a man that didn’t look a day over 95. He swayed and braced himself against the side of the gate. It would only take a small wave to take him out. He looks more fragile than my dad’s leg lamp. The man was covered in age spots, and his white, wispy hair had almost completely fallen out. What remained on his scalp seemed to blend in with his light skin. He wore a fisherman’s outfit, with overalls, rubber boots, and he was holding several fishing rods; he had a nametag on his chest that read: ‘Hi, my name is Old Man Jenkins’. When he saw Ryan and Logan approaching him, he opened his mouth, sucked in a gasp of air, and licked his lips.

“Uh, hi,” Ryan began. “We’re trying to get to Lavender Town. Is this the way?”

“Y-y-y-y-yes…” Old Man Jenkins answered hoarsely. “B-b-b-but… to g-get th-th-through… you have to b-b-buy a rod.”

“Aw come on, we barely have any money,” Ryan complained. “Can’t you just let us through? This is extortion, man!”

The man sucked in a large gulp of air. “B-b-buy… my s-s-s-super rod or g-go h-home…” He licked his lips and looked very proud of himself. I should just push him into the water, Ryan thought. If only we didn’t live in a society…

“How much are they?” Logan asked?

“Th-th-three hundred… P-p-poké Dollars…”

“Really?” Logan stepped forward and pulled something from his backpack. “This fishing rod I got in Vermillion City only cost me a hundred!” His was a nice red fishing rod, all contracted and shiny. The old man’s face lit up and his eyes began to water like bowls of hot and sour soup.

“M-my word! Y-y-y-you love fishing!”

Logan smiled and nodded.

“Two h-h-hundred then. N-not a penny less, eh!”

“Deal.”

Ryan stepped up and handed the man two hundred Poké Dollars as well. “Ach!” the old man squealed. “Y-y-you don’t love f-fishing l-like th-that boy.”

“I do too.”

“Show me your rod.” Ryan frowned and shook his head. “Th-three hundred then!”

“Fine. Here you go.” Ryan handed away much of the remainder of his money for a long blue rod. Why does it always seem like I’m running out of money between gyms? This Pokémon journey sure is a ripoff.

The elderly gentleman waddled up to the gate, shook it a couple times, then scratched his head. “Must’ve le-left the keys in the sh-sh-shack…”

“We can go get them for you,” Logan offered. The old man waved him off and then began to hobble back down the road, back to ‘The Salt in Your Eye’.

“This is gonna take forever!” Ryan complained, taking off his backpack to sit on the wood, his feet dangling over the churning waters below. “That guy’s a conman. He made us buy his stupid rods to get through because no one would do that otherwise. I bet his business is in shambles.”

“I thought he was nice,” Logan beamed. “He gave me a discount.” That just made Ryan more angry, but before he could say anything else, Logan unclamped his super rod, put a hook and bait on its tip, and threw it into the water. “Come on, let’s fish. You’re right about one thing, Ryan. It’s going to be a long time before he gets back.”

So Ryan did. About two hours and endless fruitless reel-ins and lost baits later, Ryan caught his first Pokémon by fishing - a nice little Poliwag. “Poliwag, the Tadpole Pokémon. The direction of the spiral on the belly differs by area. It is more adept at swimming than walking,” Dex spoke once it was over.

“Alright,” Ryan yelled. “I caught a wicked cool Pokémon!”

Logan himself looked like he had caught a Tentacool, and he was finding a Poké Ball for it. “Hate to break it to you Ryan, but that’s a pretty common Pokémon. I bet all of the people who fish over here have a million Poliwags.”

Ryan’s triumph crashed and burned faster than Buddy Holly. “Aw man,” he said, his shoulders slinking forward. “Why do you always have to be a downer, Logan?”

But before Logan could reply, up came the slow-moving man, known to Ryan only as the super rod swindler, who was probably of the sea, and in the boy’s humble opinion, quite ready to return to it.

“Got some sweet lemonade,” Old Man Jenkins boasted with a sly grin. “A-a-anyone w-want any?”

Ryan’s eyes lit up. He loved sweet things. “I do!”

The old man laughed, which soon descended into a fit of coughing. He sounded like he had smoked every day of the past seventy years with those lungs. “Hahaaaaachaaach! W-w-well y-you can’t ha-have any! It’s mine!”

The man jerked the cup back as Ryan went for it, and in so doing, he too lost the lemonade, as it fell into the sea below. I have never been happier in my life, Ryan thought.

Old Man Jenkins didn’t seem to mind losing his lemonade, even if it was probably the last glass he would ever have hope of drinking. He ushered the boys over to the gate and unlocked it for them. Once they were through, he slammed it shut and shouted, “T-t-tell your friends! Old M-man J-j-j-jenkins sells the b-best super rods in K-kanto!”

Yeah, I’ll tell all my friends. I’ll tell them all how much of a con artist you are. But the good news is, you probably won’t be around the next time any of us come down the route. Up ahead, the planky bridge met the shore, and a deep and foreboding forest awaited them. On a sign just outside of the forest the words ‘Lavender Town Ahead’ were written. And on the corner of the sign, Ryan saw a bit of graffiti that he thought was shaped in the Team Rocket logo, but it was so small and sloppy, he couldn’t be sure. Either way, Ryan was now one step closer to getting the ghost Pokémon he knew he would need to help him defeat Sabrina. Just a little bit farther, he assured himself, and before I know it, I’ll be in Celadon City with Rahul and Alex.


The fog rolled in like a chain smoker spontaneously combusting in an armchair. Lavender Town was a small town, smaller than what Ryan was used to; and he thought it looked even smaller in the dimming light of the evening. He was a city boy, so seeing a little settlement enclosed on all sides by the forest, with very few buildings, aside from the very tall one in the center of town, was quite off-putting.

“You ever been here before?” he asked Logan.

“No, never! I always thought this place was too spooky.”

Ryan sighed and led them up the path to the town’s entrance. There, they were met by a man who looked like he had just seen a ghost. His eyes were bugging out of his head, his hair was roughed-up, and he was running about in circles. When he saw the two boys, he cried out:

“Welcome to Lavender Town! I’m integral peasant #37!”

“Hi,” Logan said.

“Don’t go in there. Turn around and go home! Never set foot in that haunted place!” the man warned them as spittle flew from his mouth in majestic arcs. “It’s a terrible, gruesome, frightful place! Never go to Lavender Town, that’s what I always tell them! They should burn it to the ground, I say! Get me some wood! Wood! Don’t go in there, ah!”

“Why not?” Ryan asked.

“It’s pandemonium… Team Rocket… came in… took everything over… the ghosts… the horror… the horror…”

The man fell down to the dirt, assumed a fetal position and started muttering to himself.

“We’re looking for a ghost Pokémon to challenge the Saffron City Gym Leader,” Ryan explained. “Any idea where we could find one?”

“Flee!” the man screeched. “I’m only human; don’t let them take my soul!”

“Alright, let’s go,” Ryan said, stepping over the man. Logan followed him into the town.

He wasn’t wrong, Ryan admitted, observing Lavender Town from the inside. People were running about, some shrieking, some yelling. Pokémon battles between residents and Team Rocket lackeys clothed all in black were spreading across the streets. There were shrill screams seemingly emanating from the skyscraper of a tower in the distance. Streetlights flickered. Confetti flew through the air. A spotlight seemed to be waving back and forth in the distance. Ryan saw an Officer Jenny chasing two Team Rocket acolytes, with her Growlithe at her side.

“Looks like we got here just in time,” Ryan said, turning to Logan.

Logan’s eyes were wide and he was shivering. “We should find a place to sleep and look for a ghost in the morning!”

“Don’t be a scaredy-pants,” Ryan scolded. “Everyone knows you can only find ghosts at night.”

“Oh please, I’m scared of ghosts! I don’t want to do this!”

“Then hide behind me. It’s me who needs to catch the ghost Pokémon anyways.”

“O-okay…”

“I wonder what Team Rocket is doing here…” Probably nothing good. After we foiled their plot in Pewter City, I’m sure they’re up to something devious.

Further into town, the fighting and screaming got thicker, as did the smoke. Ryan realized something was burning. There’s a serious battle going on here. It’s not like when we fought them. Where did all of these Team Rocket jerks come from anyways? I thought Team Rocket was decaying…

“You there!” came a voice, high and cold as a banshee. Ryan spun around and Logan groaned in fright. Up to them ran a woman, covered in a thick purple velvet coat. Her skin was a deathly white, and her black hair reached nearly down to her knees. She wore a purple bandana and black-and-white fingerless gloves. She was old… in her thirties or forties, maybe. In her hand was a Poké Ball. “Are you two with Team Rocket?”

The boys shook their heads meekly. They gaped at the woman, who is, shall we say, full of figure. Despite the heavy coat, certain aspects of her physique were very much apparent to the naked eye. Nice bod, Ryan thought. Just what I like.

“Oh, then what are you doing here?” she asked, slightly taken aback.

“I’m here to capture a ghost Pokémon before my battle against Sabrina in the Saffron City Gym!” Ryan declared. He felt his ears go red after he saw how the woman stared at him.

“Now’s not a good time for that. We’re under attack. Team Rocket is trying to capture all of the ghost Pokémon in Lavender Town,” the woman explained. “Can you help us stop them?”

“I guess.”

“Great! I’m Sydney by the way,” the woman said, putting out a hand. Ryan shook it and felt a tingling finger spiral up from his fingertips to his breast. He and Logan told her their names too. “Most of them are located around the Pokémon Tower,” Sydney said, not noticing. She pointed at the huge megalithic structure just ahead of them. “It’s crawling with Team Rocket trainers. And they’re shooting that beacon in the sky, see? It’s flashing something up into the air, and it’s been doing that for the past few days. I’m not sure what they’re trying to do with that, but we have to stop them.”

“I’m on the case!” Ryan said. Maybe she’ll like me if I show her how strong my Pokémon are. He started to run forward when Sydney grabbed him by the shoulder and pulled him back.

“Whoa cowboy. We can’t just rush in. There’s too many trainers and Pokémon!”

“Then what are we supposed to do?” Ryan gave the woman his best puppy-dog eyes, but she didn’t seem to take the hint.

“We’re going to sneak around and hit them from behind. And to do that… we’re going to have to go underground. I was going to do this myself… but three of us will be better.”

“Underground?” Logan squeaked.

“We’re going to take the old sewer system under the Pokémon Tower and come out just behind it. Then we can hit them before they know what’s going on.”

“Alright! Let’s go!” Ryan once again went to run off when Sydney grabbed him and pulled him back.

“I need a leash for you,” she chuckled. Yes please, thought Ryan. “Anyways, before we go down into the sewer, you two will need to wear these,” she said, pulling two devices out of her large coat. Ryan was disappointed to see that her figure became much smaller with those things out of the coat. She handed one to Ryan and one to Logan. They were a type of head goggles, it seemed to Ryan. “Silph Scopes,” Sydney explained. “You can see in the dark with these. And you can see ghosts too, but that’s not really important for our mission.”

“Ghosts?” Logan sounded like he was about to faint.

“Suck it up,” Ryan whispered, punching Logan in the shoulder. “Come on, we have to help this woman. Be a man, dude!”

“I don’t want to be a man,” Logan complained miserably.

Nonetheless, he put his scope on his head, just as Ryan did, and they followed Sydney to the sewer entrance. It was through a manhole, past a Team Rocket girl’s Zubat battling a trainer’s Oddish. Into the darkness, the three plunged, but instantly, the lights flickered on, and they could see. It was a green, night-vision sight, but it was good enough. This is cool, thought Ryan. It’s like we’re superheroes! He scanned the area, and saw that it was quite a narrow tube, going one way. He could see that Sydney, who was already ahead of them, also had a Silph Scope, and she still held her Poké Ball in her hand.

As they walked on, the sounds of battle above ground could be heard with distant thuds and shouts. It’s like we’re drifting through a dream down here. We’re out of the chaos. But Ryan was not comforted. He felt like something, or someone, was watching him, but no matter how many times he peered around, he saw nothing. She said these goggles would pick up ghosts, so nothing could be watching me… right? He dared not say anything to Logan for fear of putting the poor shivering boy into a coma.

After a short walk, the sewer system widened into a larger tunnel. Up here, Ryan could see supply boxes, all with the Team Rocket logo on them, scattered about. “Team Rocket was using this path as well. I’m not sure why, or even how they knew about it. But they shouldn’t have anyone down here now. Not with the battling going on above ground. We should be okay.”

“Yeah, it’ll be fine,” Ryan agreed, patting Logan on the shoulder.

As they moved further on, the smell got worse. My lungs are burning, he realized. But I should have expected as much with this being a sewer and all. Logan and Sydney didn’t so much as mention the smell, so Ryan toughed it out. It would be terrible if Sydney heard me complain. She has to know that I’m a strong and fearless Pokémon Master.

Logan screamed soon after, his voice echoing thrice before fading out down the tunnels behind them. And he had good reason to scream, too, for Ryan’s own yell caught in his throat before he could vocalize it. Ahead of them was a procession - nay, a conglomeration - of Pokémon. Yet, these were not normal Pokémon. They were ghosts. They drifted about solemnly and rhythmically, in lines too long to count. Many of the lines proceeded and receded into the brick walls on either side of the tunnel. He saw Psyducks, Magmars, Charmeleons, Butterfrees, Meowths, Cubones… and a countless number of other types of Pokémon.

“Th-they’re ghosts!” said Logan in a hushed town. “They’re the walking dead!”

“No, we are the walking dead!” Ryan tried to tell Logan, but the aspiring Pokémon Breeder wasn’t listening.

“We ain’t them,” Sydney said from ahead. “They won’t hurt you. Just ignore them, and they will ignore you. We’re under the Pokémon Tower now. This used to be the old basement area. A lot of Pokémon ghosts come here to rest once they have passed on. It’s not our place to disturb them.”

They may be ghosts, but these aren’t ghost Pokémon. Yet again, Ryan felt a chill on the back of his neck, like he was being watched. He craned his head and peered into the darkness, piercing all nooks and crannies with his Silph Scope, but he saw nothing. Nothing. This can’t be nothing. There’s something out here. There’s something hunting us.

Around the next corner, torchlight greeted the trio. Standing above a bridge over sewage waters was a Team Rocket man. He wore their blacks well, but he had no cap on, revealing his shaggy, bearded face. He was an older man, a grizzled veteran. Silently he shook his head and bowed in front of his opponents. Then, he took out a Poké Ball and threw it.

“Stand back. I have this one,” Sydney assured the boys. She stepped up and threw a Poké Ball of her own. Out from the man’s ball came an Arbok, a fearsome snake Pokémon, while out from Sydney’s came a Golbat, who soared above her quarry.

“Who’s going to win?” Ryan asked Logan, and perhaps the ghosts walking numbly behind them. All Logan could do was bury his head in his hands and mumble out a curse word.

Ryan took a Poké Ball of his own into his hand. If it comes down to it, I can battle too. But I should save my buddies until the real fighting gets underway. I want them to be fresh. So he stayed back and watched. And then, a cold chill fell over Ryan again. He took out Dex this time and pointed the device in all directions. “Ghost Pokémon are in vapor form. No additional information available,” it offered helpfully.

“Great.”

“Do you feel that?” Logan whispered. “It’s here. There’s a ghost right here!”

Ryan nodded. Their breaths were frosting now. Ahead of them, Sydney’s Golbat landed a critical Leech Seed attack on the Arbok. Seeing himself humiliated in defeat, the Team Rocket veteran let out a yell of frustration that echoed through the chamber and then grabbed his nose before jumping feet first into the sewerage river, just to be whisked away.

“Wait… why did he do that?” Ryan asked.

Sydney shook her head in disbelief. “Forget it. We’re close. We need to move on.”

Ryan and Logan followed the purple-adorned woman across the bridge, but as Ryan brought up the rear, he suddenly tripped and nearly fell into the water below him. He felt coldness spread across his body, as if something dead had touched him. Logan reacted just in time to catch Ryan and prevent the boy from going the way of the Team Rocket veteran. There was a sound of chains echoing through the tunnel, followed by a long, insidious giggle.

Ryan stood to face his foe; a Haunter hovered on the other side of the bridge, smiling and bobbing, his teeth bared. “Haunter, the Gas Pokémon,” Dex droned. “By licking, it saps the victim's life. It causes shaking that won't stop until the victim's demise.”

“Leave us!” Sydney yelled at the Pokémon. “We are just passing through. We mean you no trouble. Please… let us pass!”

“No,” Ryan said, his teeth gritted in concentration. “He’s mine.”

Charmeleon flew from his ball and landed on the middle of the bridge. The smell was becoming overbearing. Ryan’s eyes were brimming with tears at the stench of it all. Yet, he could not flee. I need this Pokémon. I won’t get another chance like this.

“Fire Blast, Aegon.”

“Char!”

The Charmeleon sprayed orange-yellow flames at the ghost Pokémon, briefly illuminating the area. The Haunter took the attack dead on, and when the smoke cleared, it coughed, grinned again, and rushed forward, licking the Charmeleon from his neck up to his head. That got Aegon really scared, and he began to yelp uncontrollably.

“Easy boy,” Ryan assured him. “You’re okay. That Haunter can’t take another Fire Blast, I know it!”

“Meleon?”

“Do it! Do it now!”

A second burst of flames hit the Haunter, this time causing it to sag to the ground. It wasn’t grinning anymore. It was frowning and yelling ‘Haunter, haunt!’, but Ryan wasn’t listening. He took a Great Ball out of his pack. The Haunter used its next move to put Aegon to sleep, for clearly a third Fire Blast would have sent it back to the netherworld. That’s fine, Ryan thought. I’m not trying to beat him. I’m trying to catch him.

The first Great Ball hit Haunter, sucked him in, and spit him back out a moment later. Haunter used his powers to pick the ball up and throw it into the sewer. Then he licked Charmeleon again. Ryan threw a second Great Ball, and the same thing happened.

“Kid, we don’t have time for this,” Sydney’s voice rang behind. “Catch the Haunter or follow me. I’m not waiting any longer.”

She called me kid. He felt his ears going red again. Ryan sighed and felt for the Ultra Ball - the last Ultra Ball he had. This was one of the ones he had gotten before setting out on his journey. It had been in his father’s stash, which he had taken. He felt guilty about doing so now, but at the time… all he had felt was hope. And it hadn’t helped that his mother had seemingly egged him on. Regardless, now he held the last of his father’s unused Poké Balls. And there’s not a better Pokémon to catch with it.

Haunter faced down this Poké Ball as confidently as he had faced down the others. Yet when it hit him, it sucked him with such force, that his smile turned into shock in the blink of an eye. And then, the Ultra Ball fell to the stone floor, wiggled a few times, and lay still. I caught a Haunter.

Ryan beamed. He looked for the other two to congratulate him, but Logan was too busy looking this way and that to prevent any ghosts from sneaking up on him, and Sydney, though she had watched the fight, seemed unimpressed. “Can we go now?” was all she said.

“Yeah…” Aren’t you proud of me? Wasn’t that impressive? I caught a ghost Pokémon! Most trainers never do that in their entire lives! Sydney appeared to him to be most difficult to please, but that only made him want her more.

They came to a ladder, a little ways past the bridge, that led up into a home.

“This is where Team Rocket came through,” Sydney spoke. “They used this house as their staging area before taking over the Pokémon Tower.”

Up the ladder they climbed, making their way unannounced and surely uninvited into the home. Inside, all was quiet and all was still. There were more Team Rocket crates up here, and a ton of Poké Balls covered the tables (Ryan and Logan pocketed quite a few of them). As they moved silently through the house, Ryan saw that pictures lined the hallway walls. On them were always three people - a mother, a father, and a girl. As they moved towards the door, the pictures went back in time. And Ryan saw that the girl’s dour look eased up as the years turned backwards. The younger she got, the happier she seemed, until, when the pictures showed her to be only five or six, she was positively beaming in every one of them. That face is familiar, Ryan knew.

He spoke softly, “I know why they used this house as their staging area.”

Sydney wasn’t listening. “They caught us completely off-guard. We had no idea they were here until they swarmed the tower. And then it was over. For a while at least.”

She opened the front door, and they all began to run. The tower was right there. Team Rocket was in front of them, facing the other way. There were dozens of them, fighting natives and trainers Sydney had no doubted recruited to help her take back Lavender Town. Now that they were out of the sewers, Logan seemed to be less scared. He ran with the buxom woman, a Poké Ball in each hand. When they reached Team Rocket, Sydney said, “I’ll lead the attack. We need to regroup with the others. Push through with all of your Pokémon!”

Logan did what he was told. His two Eevees, his Ditto, his Scyther, his Squirtle, and his Chansey all came shooting out of their Poké Balls. Sydney’s team consisted of a Golbat, two Gengars, a Haunter, an Arbok, and a Nidoqueen. The two charged the Team Rocket members, but Ryan didn’t join them. Something isn’t right. He didn’t know what it was; just a feeling deep in his throat. He knew that this plan made no sense. Why would Team Rocket attack the Pokémon Tower like that to get all the ghost Pokémon? They would be better served to use stealth tactics, to go into the tower from the sewer tunnel. Sydney said the tunnel ran under the tower, so why didn’t they sneak in from there? They were making a show on purpose. This is all a distraction.

Ahead, Gilly was leading the acolytes. Sydney pointed to him, and his Pokémon soon engaged hers in battle. It was swift and total defeat for The Extreme Supreme. Where’s that girl? The one with the purple hair…

Ryan didn’t follow the others into the battle. He went looking for Jessica instead. Running around the side of the Pokémon Tower, he found himself face-to-face with a beacon waving two beams of light at the sky. It was a massive machine, running on a generator and spewing noxious gas into the night sky. What is this for? Ryan moved over to it, and that was when he saw her.

She was delicate as a flower, draped in moonlight, facing away from him. She’s so depressingly beautiful. Her Haunter was patrolling around her, and he noticed Ryan before she did. Jessica was shouting into a walkie-talkie, saying, “Hold them back! I just need a little more time. I need to put it to sleep. What?! How did you lose all of your Pokémon, Gilly? Ugh…! You’re so useless sometimes!”

She threw her walkie-talkie into the dirt and turned around. Her Haunter was barking, and it did not take her long to understand why.

“So we meet again.”

“Give up, you can’t win,” Ryan boasted. “I beat you last time, and my Pokémon are way stronger now.”

She laughed humorlessly and then turned away from him to inspect her device. “You’re too late. We got what we came for.”

“Oh yeah?! What was that? Were you trying to steal fossils again?”

“No,” she smiled. “This time, we got the real thing.” She bent down for her walkie-talkie. Ignoring Ryan again, she shouted into it, “All Team Rocket personnel, fall back to rally point alpha. The prize has been captured. We’re leaving now. If you stay behind, don’t expect anyone to come back for you. Jessica out.”

“What’s the prize?” Ryan fingered a Poké Ball, and then threw it. Out came Thurnax, his noble Dragonite.

“None of your business.” Now Jessica’s voice had an edge to it.

“You’re not getting away.”

“I am too.”

“Thurnax, take the Haunter out.”

“Haunter, return,” Jessica commanded. Her hair blew in the wind. “Slowbro, go.” She sighed, “You make this so hard on yourself. It would be so much easier if you just walked away right now. Don’t you find it boring playing the hero all the time?”

Now it was Ryan’s turn to laugh. “My Dragonite is better than any Pokémon you have; I guarantee it.”

“Blizzard, Slowbro.”

“Hyber Beam, Thurnax!”

The Hyper Beam hit first, doing terrible damage. The Slowbro was knocked off its feet and impacted into a crater three feet deep. Yet, the Hyper Beam had not caused the Pokémon to faint, which was disastrous. Now she gets two free hits on Thurnax. The first was, of course a Blizzard, which did super effective damage - even Ryan knew that. The second time, Jessica commanded her Slowbro to use a Blizzard again, and this time, Thurnax was encased in ice.

“Frozen?! No fair! There’s like a 10% chance of that happening!” Ryan complained.

“Life’s not fair. Now get out of my way before I have you frozen too.”

Ryan reached for another Poké Ball, but that was when all of the able-bodied Team Rocket soldiers came running around the corner. There were dozens of them, and they were being chased by Sydney and the other trainers and residents, but it didn’t seem to perturb them.

“Here,” Jessica pointed to a medium-sized cage behind the corner of the Pokémon Tower. “Wait, I just need to get Haunter to put it to sleep first.”

“There’s no time, Jessica! We have to gooooo!” Gilly’s voice came high and whiny, and Ryan saw him run up to his superior officer from amidst the chaos of black and red.

“Hey, we’re not done here!” Ryan tried to shout, but his voice was lost in the confusion.

“Fine. Take it as it is. It won’t matter, I guess. Let’s go! Quickly! Whatever you do, don’t drop it!” Jessica commanded.

Several grunts rushed forward and picked the cage up between them. They held it on their shoulders and then marched off towards the forest, Jessica leading them. She sure acts like a leader, at least. From behind, the final holding line of Team Rocket members were losing their battles against the trainers. It would soon be over. But they had already won, Ryan knew. Whatever they wanted, they already got it. And no one but me realizes that. He would have stopped them if he could have. But with four Pokémon, and dozens of enemies to face, it was an impossible task. In the frenetic energy of Team Rocket’s exodus, there had been no good way for him to even challenge Jessica again. He could only stand there and watch them go, furious at his own powerlessness.

The cage moved by in a blur; it was a tightly-bound box, with metal sheets covering most of the bars. But one space in the back of it had a small opening. From there, Ryan saw the Pokémon inside. It had blue fur and a thin, curved figure. Its eyes were large and blank and innocent. They stared at Ryan for a moment, pleading. He could only stare back until the darkness of the forest swallowed the cage whole.

A cold chill fell over the teal-haired trainer. He had no idea what kind of Pokémon that was. He didn’t know any blue-furred Pokémon, especially not ones with such curved faces and huge eyes. Is this some kind of secret ghost Pokémon? Some new experiment? A newly-discovered species? He had not the faintest clue. The Team Rocket lackeys ran past him, and he felt the wind they generated whip across his body. He took all of it without moving. Once they were gone, the sound died down. Many of the trainers and residents came to the area to inspect it, to see what had happened, but there was nothing there that gave them any idea what was going on.

“What did they take?” Sydney asked breathlessly as she came running over to Ryan.

He shrugged. “It was a Pokémon, but I don’t know what kind.”

She shook her head angrily. “We should go after them. They don’t have many Pokémon left to defend themselves. If we can just track them down…”

“It’s the middle of the night! They’re out there deep in the forest! Better luck finding a needle in a haystack if you ask me!” one resident shouted.

A confused, frustrated air clung around the group. They had won; they had beaten back Team Rocket. But that’s just what Team Rocket wanted.

Sydney thanked Ryan for his help, and the two said goodbye. He tried to hug her, but she wasn’t interested. Soon, the residents and other trainers had dispersed too, many of them returning to their homes or hotel rooms to get some much-needed sleep. Others went to the Pokémon Center to heal their Pokémon, while other still set off into the night, either to try some stupidly courageous scheme to track down the Team Rocket gang, or to continue on with their journey. It didn’t take long for it to just be Ryan and Logan again. Trash littered the ground, and a fire still raged in the distance. The air tasted of smoke, so bitter and empty.

“Well that was something, wasn’t it?” Logan asked, trying to break the silence.

“We’ll stay here the night, then go to Saffron tomorrow,” Ryan said. “I will get the badge tomorrow so we can get to Celadon as soon as possible. Alex and Rahul must already be waiting for me there. But I can’t keep them waiting much longer.”

“Okay. But shouldn’t we stay here a few more days? You know, in case Team Rocket comes back.”

“They’re not coming back.”

“I wonder what they could be after.”

Me too. Ryan raised his head to the sky, where starlight flickered weakly from gaps in the fog and smoke. He noticed that the light of the beacon was still flashing back and forth. Curiosity sprung up in his chest at that moment, so Ryan walked over to the machine to get a better look at it. He couldn’t see what image it was projecting at the sky. Why would it be pointed at the sky, or all places? Who could see it from up there?

With Logan’s help, he kicked the beacon over on its side, positioning it to shine its light on the brick walls of the Pokémon Tower. There, a light, unmistakable and vivid, shone. It displayed a mirage Pokémon, that was for sure. It had pink fur, a tail, and was quite slight of frame. Its eyes reminded Ryan of the creature he had seen in that cage. But that’s wrong, he thought. The one I saw had blue fur, not pink fur.

“Dex, what am I looking at?”

“There is no Pokémon here.”

“I know that. It’s a picture of a Pokémon being projected out from that beacon thing. Which Pokémon is it? I’m not familiar with it.”

“Scanning…” Dex said, before going silent.

“What do you think?” Ryan asked Logan.

Logan shrugged. “Never seen anything like it, personally.”

“Pokémon ID match found,” Dex spoke after a long pause.

“Which Pokémon is it?” Ryan asked.

The Pokédex sang with excitement, “Oh great master, it looks like you have found Mew, the Legendary Pokémon. Well done. Great job!”

Episode 26: Crazy Girl

Ryan barely slept that night, and come morning, he was exhausted. All he saw when he closed his eyes were those two large eyes locked behind the bars of the cage. They had looked at him, and for a moment, he had felt a connection with the Pokémon inside. I wonder if that really was a legendary Mew. Dex said so… but he’s just a computer. What does he really know?

Regardless, Ryan and Logan rose early in the morning, left the smoldering ruin that was Lavender Town, and plodded off down Route 8 towards Saffron City. Logan was in good spirits, for he had gotten a good night’s sleep. Funny that he would be the one to get good sleep here of all places. He’s the one afraid of ghosts, not me. Route 8 was a quiet route, barely inhabited by Pokémon or travelers, and they made good time to the city. Ryan only met a few wanderers and Super Nerds on the way, but his Muk dealt with them easily. The money he won from beating them he knew would be crucial in getting him some breakfast in the big city. As long as there aren’t any Old Man Jenkins in Saffron, I shouldn’t go broke again.

When they arrived in Saffron City, it had begun to rain slightly. The sun was a lonely, cold beacon in the sky, and grey clouds crowded around it. Saffron City was the biggest city Ryan had ever seen. It was so vast, it took his breath away. Through the eastern gate the two boys went, and almost immediately, skyscrapers surrounded them on all sides. Cars sped through the streets, spraying water everywhere, and people hurried across the sidewalks in seemingly endless streams. It was overwhelming.

“Man, this place is huge,” Ryan said to Logan. “We could get lost here easy.”

“Don’t worry, I know this city. I used to live here.”

“Oh nice. So where’s the gym?”

Logan pointed to the street intersecting the one they were standing on. “You just have to go north until you reach the end of this road, and then go west. The gym’s all the way down the west road. You can’t miss it.”

“Uh, aren’t you coming with me?”

“Nah, I have to check some stuff out first. I’ll meet up with you later.”

“What stuff?”

“Just stuff…” Ryan raised an eyebrow. “Well, you know, I used to live here. I just wanted to check up on a friend of mine I haven’t seen in a long time. Don’t worry, I’ll meet you at the gym.”

“Okay,” Ryan replied.

Logan walked off in the other direction and soon he was lost amongst the throngs of sapiens. Ryan sighed and pushed on. It wasn’t raining so hard that he needed an umbrella, but he was still annoyed by how wet he was getting. After walking up the street for a few blocks, he saw a Pokémon Center, went inside, and purchased a new black-and-white hoodie. Then, he rested his Pokémon for a few minutes and exchanged Swirlie Whirlie for his new Haunter, whom he had named Spectre. Spectre would be his ticket to beating Sabrina, he knew. No one else mattered in the upcoming battle. Ghost Pokémon are the best counters to psychic Pokémon. He made sure his new Haunter was healthy, then gathered his Poké Balls, and set back out into the city.

It had started raining harder since he had gone in the Pokémon Center, and now the sidewalks were swamped with rushing water. People were running past him, and when lightning began to crack across the sky, Ryan ran too. He ran all the way to the gym, past the people, past the lights of cars and lamps and buildings, all blurred together in blues and reds and greens. He was out of breath when he found the Saffron City Gym, tucked away neatly in the northwestern corner of Saffron City. His heart beat like a drum, not just from exertion, but from anticipation. This was the single most important Gym Leader for him to face, he thought. She was well-renowned for her skill and intuition. Sabrina would be the first true test to see how well he’d do in the Indigo League. Without hesitation, Ryan went inside.

This place looks more like a temple than a gym, Ryan thought. Pillars of stone with lit torches dotted the room, while curved walls gave way to the darkness beyond. As he moved forward, Ryan noticed tables full of young trainers trying to perform various psychic maneuvers. One girl was trying to bend a spoon with her mind, while others were trying to guess cards. A big fat man was trying to catch a bullet with his teeth, and a hobbling British fellow looked like he was about to saw himself in half he was so saturated with orange juice. Ryan shook the water off of himself like a Growlithe, which horrified the guard standing at the door, and walked over to the table with the cards.

Pointing at the girl who was holding three cards up, but facing them away from the boy who was trying to guess them, Ryan said recklessly, “Queen of hearts, seven of clubs, and the jack of spades.”

The girl let out a squeal before dropping the cards onto the table; thus were the very same three cards Ryan had guessed revealed. “Y-you’re psychic! Wow, you have great telekinetic powers!” she said, awe in her voice.

“Yep. That’s all skill, baby,” Ryan grinned, before marching off, leaving the group to wonder how he had managed to do that.

Ryan came upon another set of doors further in, where a second guard stood. “I want to battle Sabrina for a Marsh Badge,” he explained, and the guard bowed before opening the door and letting him in.

Ryan stepped into the stage, which was dim-lit, surrounded by pillars and torches, and rather confined. On the far side, a woman sat in a chair. She was pale-skinned and wore a crimson tank top that revealed her flat belly, and white pants. She’s pretty, for a Gym Leader. But she’s nothing compared to Olivia. Her face was blank, but her eyes watched Ryan as he moved into his spot.

“I’m here for a Gym Battle!” Ryan shouted, his voice echoing through the chamber. “I challenge you for a Marsh Badge!”

“As you wish,” Sabrina said. Ryan thought he saw a red glow in her eyes. She stood and drew a Poké Ball. “Three on three. Is that okay with you?”

“Sure.”

Sabrina nodded curtly. She threw her ball, and out popped a sleeping Abra. Daggers cut through Ryan’s heart seeing the Pokémon, opening old wounds he had wished to forget. I wanted Abra to help me beat this gym more than anything. But now I’d just settle for seeing him again. He felt his nails digging into his palms again and had to stop himself before he drew blood.

Ryan threw his Poké Ball, and out poofed his Haunter. Spectre hovered over the sleeping psychic Pokémon, grinning slyly.

“Use Hypnosis,” Ryan urged his ghost Pokémon.

“Flash, now,” Sabrina commanded calmly.

Haunter dodged the Flash and then proceeded to hypnotize the Abra. He’s already asleep. I wonder if Hypnosis will actually do anything. But apparently it did, for when Haunter’s attack was finished, Abra collapsed on the floor, arms and legs splayed in all directions, snoring as loud as Rahul after a particularly good episode of Doctor Who. Ryan almost laughed. The lazy abandon of it all reminded him of someone he once knew.

“Perfect, great work Haunter. Now use Dream Eater!”

“Haunter, Haunter,” the Haunter cackled, not listening to Ryan. He proceeded to Lick the Abra, which did minimal damage.

Still the Abra slept.

“Use Night Shade!” Ryan commanded.

Spectre licked the Abra again.

“Come on, Haunter, listen to me!” Ryan complained. “I’m your new master!”

Spectre turned to face Ryan. He bared his teeth at the teal-haired boy before doing a somersault and sticking his tongue out. He doesn’t take this seriously. But why? I have five badges. He should listen to me!

“Abra, return. Go Kadabra,” Sabrina said.

This time, Spectre tried to use another Hypnosis, and Ryan wasn’t sure if he was listening, for that was the move he wanted his good ‘mon to use. But the Kadabra deftly dodged the sleep-inducer, leaving Spectre vulnerable.

“Psychic!”

Haunter could not dodge that attack, and it hit him square in the face. The ghost Pokémon flew back into the wall, and sank to the ground, his eyes closed, his mouth open in surprise, a little bit of spittle running down his sharp purple teeth.

Ryan’s heart sank with his newest buddy. But… Haunter was supposed to be the Pokémon to defeat Sabrina. How could he lose so badly? Scrambling, Ryan took out his next Pokémon - Aegon. He hadn’t hoped it would come to this, and he didn’t really have a strategy for what to do now that his Haunter was down. He knew the battle was already over. He wanted to run out of there, he was so embarrassed.

“Go Aegon.”

“Psychic!”

The Charmeleon was hit savagely by the attack, instantly knocking him out. Ryan reached for his next ball, which held Thurnax. You’re my last hope, girl.

“Go Thurnax.”

Sabrina was a spammer if Ryan ever saw one. She used another Psychic attack, but that bounced rather harmlessly off of Thurnax’s belly.

“Hyper Beam!”

“Araghrahah!” Thurnax bellowed. She was hit with another Psychic, but it was no matter. The two beams had only inflicted flesh wounds.

The stage lit up and a bright white light overcame Kadabra. The Psychic Pokémon screamed in horror as it was overwhelmed with energy. When the smoke and light cleared, there stood Kadabra, covered in scrapes and bruises, and he looked as overcooked as a Thanksgiving ham at my Grandmother’s house. He let out one hollow ‘Kadabra!’ before falling over.

“Return, Kadabra. Go Alakazam,” Sabrina said calmly. It was like she hadn’t even lost a Pokémon.

It’s down to this, Ryan knew. All I have to do is beat one more Pokémon, and I will have my sixth badge. Come on, Ryan, you can do it!

“Finish him off with a Hyper Beam, Thurnax!”

“Psychic,” Sabrina said calmly.

Thurnax was hit with the beam first, and this one did far more damage than the Kadabra’s, Ryan knew. Thurnax let out a howl of pain and wobbled in place before falling on her back. His Pokémon was running out of time. Thurnax is at less than half health now, he guessed. Thurnax’s Hyper Beam shot wildly in the air as she fell over from the Psychic, hitting the ceiling and causing a large chunk of it to fall onto the stage. Ryan’s heart sank even further. It was definitely at the bottom of the sea now. For a moment, there had been hope. And then, it had all gone away, as smoothly as an old man easing himself into a bathtub.

“Finish it off with another Psychic.”

“Hyper Beam!” Ryan screamed desperately, but it was no use. Thurnax was slower. The Psychic hit first. And it was a crit if Ryan ever saw one. Thurnax collapsed, defeated; then, the boy returned her. He knew it wasn’t her fault. She did good. It was his fault for overestimating his team. He had always thought he could beat Sabrina if only he had a ghost Pokémon… but that was more fantasy than reality. Ryan shrugged his shoulders forward and held back the tears he knew were coming. Even this far into his journey, a defeat such as this was hard to stomach. Speaking of stomachs, Ryan thought, glancing up at Sabrina again. Man, she’s nice.

“Good game,” Sabrina said before sitting down again. “Your Pokémon are strong, but you need to train them some more. I look forward to our next match.”

“Th-thanks,” Ryan replied, not looking at her.

He turned to leave, when Sabrina spoke again. There was not a trace of emotion in her voice. “Next time before we battle, I’ll make sure I put on some makeup. Would you like that, kid? I know I’m no Olivia, but beggars can’t be choosers, right?”

Ryan’s jaw dropped. “Wait… how do you know…?”

Sabrina smiled thinly and then opened the far doors with her psychic powers. Ryan stood there for another moment and then sprinted out. Did she read my mind? Did she know everything I was thinking? Ryan felt his cheeks flushing in supreme embarrassment, even though he was now no longer in the room with Sabrina. Oh well. Next time, I’ll beat her, and she won’t have anything to say.


He waited for Logan for a long while. He waited almost fifteen minutes. But Ryan was an impatient boy by nature, so he soon decided to leave the Saffron City Gym. He knew he’d find Logan somewhere somehow, before this was all over. That was a certainty in a story like this. Ryan returned to the Pokémon Center, healed his Pokémon, ordered a sandwich, and began to think. How am I supposed to beat her if my ghost Pokémon isn’t actually the counter to psychic types? Thurnax did good, but I don’t think she could last forever. And her Pokémon are all faster than mine. Aegon and Reek’ll get knocked out before they can attack for sure. Maybe Myrrah could last a turn or two, but could she outduel the Alakazam?

No, he knew. He needed his Pokémon to get stronger. But Ryan was in a quandary. While he could very well stay here for weeks training his Pokémon, and undoubtedly, that would produce a victory against Sabrina, he lacked the time to do that. He had to meet Rahul and Alex in Celadon soon. He was already behind schedule, he knew. I was supposed to be there already. I don’t want them to leave me behind. He liked Logan, but he didn’t want to give up traveling with Rahul and Alex for his newest companion.

Ryan left the Pokémon Center and began to wander through the city. There were few people out now, even though the rain had died down a bit, and he liked that. He pulled his hoodie up and began to pace like a hobo madman. Ryan didn’t get many ideas as he was walking about, but soon, he found himself in front of a curious building with a large sign that read ‘Fighting Dojo’. That sounds promising, he thought. So he went inside.

It was a hot, dusty place inside, as different from the rest of Saffron City as Ryan could have guessed. The floor and walls were made of bamboo, and there were piles of cardboard boxes stacked about the room in a patternless but deliberate way. In the center of the room, there was a large fighting mat, with four wooden posts, and a man wearing a white gi was kneeling in meditation in the middle of that. Everything looked so balanced, so harmonic to the teal-haired boy, that at once he felt at peace. Ryan shook himself off and then walked up to the man, who might’ve been asleep. He’s snoring. Ryan was having flashbacks to Koga. I don’t want to make this man scream like a girl either, so he tapped him lightly on the shoulder.

Still the man sprung up, his eyes darting this way and that, his hands out in a fighting pose, a shrill exhale escaping from his lips. Ryan put his hands over his ears, but it was too late. The pain in his poor sensitive ears made him tear up. When the man saw him, he frowned and lowered his attack stance.

“What are you doing in here? And are you crying?”

“No!” Ryan said earnestly, wiping away the tears. You’re one to talk. You just screamed like you were high on helium. “I wanted to know what this place is.”

“Oh.” The man looked around, as if trying to figure out if Ryan had come with anyone else. “Did you want the guided tour, or were you looking for the brochure?”

“Well, I wanted to see if this was a place I could train my Pokémon. I need to beat Sabrina by today, and my Pokémon just aren’t strong enough yet.”

The man laughed and sat back down. “You can’t even beat Sabrina, and you’re coming in here? Do you know what this place is?”

“Nope.”

“We used to be a gym, just like Sabrina’s place. We specialized in fighting type Pokémon. But, there can be only eight!” The man shouted that last line and jumped up again to point his index finger as high as he could. “So we battled, and Sabrina won. It didn’t take long for Gym Leader Kiyo to leave here. Now, I’m the only one left. I was his first student.”

“That sucks.” Ryan sat down across from the man.

“It was most unfortunate,” the martial artist nodded. “Fighting types are of course weak to psychic Pokémon, so we stood no chance. She ran us out of business.”

“So why are you still here then?”

“It’s my duty, as the last student of Master Kiyo, to uphold his trainings and philosophy of raising the most disciplined and technically-proficient fighting Pokémon!”

“So do you have a lot of fighting Pokémon here?”

“I may.” The man’s answer was more cagey than Ryan had anticipated.

“Can I battle against them to try to level up my ‘mons a few times?”

“You have to battle me before you can use the dojo,” the man said. He stood up and took out a Poké Ball. “Are you ready to defend your honor against me?”

“Uh, yeah. Okay. How many?”

“Two on two.”

“Sounds good.”

“I’m Ryan, by the way,” Ryan said.

“Hideyoshi,” the man grunted, and then bowed. “I will show you the true power of fighting type Pokémon.”

Yeah, sure you will. I bet these are the same ones who lost to Sabrina, just like me. We’re just a bunch of losers fighting each other. This is going to end really well. That did not give Ryan much hope of getting his own Pokémon any stronger, but he had no other options.

“Go Spectre.”

“Primeape, I choose you.”

“Thunderbolt,” Ryan ordered.

“Rock Slide!” the man roared.

The Haunter was faster, much to Ryan’s relief, and the bolt of lightning that he hurled at the Primeape was as blindingly fast as it was lethal - as soon as the electricity exploded and vaporized around the pig monkey thing, Primeape fell over, unconscious.

“Alright!” Ryan said. “Good work, Spectre!” He’s listening to me again. That’s a good sign.

“Unconventional move for a Haunter,” the man replied in a gruff voice. “I was not expecting that! Go, Machamp!”

“Okay Spectre, do a Hypnosis this time!”

“Haunter, haunt.” Uh oh. I know that tone.

“Earthquake, Machamp!”

The Haunter drifted lazily over to the Machamp and licked him long and hard, like a lollerpop. Ryan was horrified. As gross as it looked, he knew that was the weakest of Spectre’s moves. A second later, the stage began to rumble, and Haunter, though he was a floating Pokémon, was evidently damaged by the move. Ryan called haxs, but alas, this was not his dojo. Spectre was severely damaged by the attack.

“Haunter, put the Machamp to sleep!” Ryan pleaded. “He’s going to KO you if you don’t! Stop using your weakest moves and obey me!”

“Haunter!” Spectre sneered. He gave Ryan a foul look; he most certainly did not want to be bossed around like that. Too bad. It’s the job of every Pokémon to listen to their master.

Haunter proceeded to use Dream Eater on Machamp, which was just about the stupidest thing Ryan had ever seen. The move, of course, only works on sleeping Pokémon, so it failed on Machamp, who was as lucid as Phillip Wang. “You’re a Haunter!” Ryan shouted, outrage clear in his voice. “You know what your moves do! Why would you do that?”

“Haunter…”

Another Earthquake followed, and that put Spectre in the ground. Ryan returned him, annoyed as he had ever been. He threw that match. He knew exactly what he was doing. Why would he do that? Why doesn’t he like me? I was never mean to him. I never hurt him or made fun of him… I treated him like all of my other Pokémon. Why can’t he see that?

“Go, Tauros.”

“Let’s try a Submission, heh!”

“Stomp him NaVorro!”

“Now this is a fight!” the man laughed. “Yeah, let’s see some tackling! Show me what you got Machamp!”

Well, Machamp was the slower of the two, so he didn’t show much at first. Tauros slammed his hoof into Machamp, sending the four-armed freak spinning and nearly careening out of the fighting arena. Machamp caught himself at the last moment before flinging himself on NaVorro in a duplicitous Submission attack. It hurt a lot, Ryan could see, but his Tauros was still standing.

“You good, boy?” Ryan asked his Pokémon.

“Heiahaha!” the Tauros huffed.

“Nice, that sounds like the voice of a winner to me! Use Blizzard!”

It was a strange move for a Bull Pokémon to use - an icy blizzard attack - but Tauros had practiced it to perfection. Somehow, he conjured up a snowstorm, and then he hurled the blizzard right at poor Machamp. Machamp took the hit like a champ, which is to say he didn’t take it well at all, and fell over defeated almost as soon as the storm hit him.

The martial artist bowed. “Looks like you won, kid. Nice job. I can see I’m no match for you.”

“Thanks,” Ryan replied. “Uh, not to sound rude or anything… but are those your strongest Pokémon?”

Hideyoshi scratched his head and thought. “Uh, the boss may have left a couple old gems somewhere in the back, still in their balls. We could check. Otherwise, you can train against all of the other fighting Pokémon we have here. Most are about as strong as my Primeape and Machamp.”

“Thank you so much!”

Ryan went to run off, in order to find the other Pokémon, but Hideyoshi stopped him with a brutal front chop. “Whoa kid, you can’t go running off before I give you your prize.”

“Prize?” Ryan cocked his head to the side, not understanding.

“You beat me fair and square, so here, take this.” He held out a canister and gave it to Ryan. On the front of it, the word ‘Earthquake’ was written in thick blocky script. Ryan thought that was so polite. “You can teach that TM to any of your Pokémon.”

“Awesome! Thank you!”

“I saw that you were using some TMs already, heh… Blizzard on Tauros, and Thunderbolt on Haunter. Been a while since I’ve fought against other TM users.”

“Yeah, my friend told me about that. He says those are the best moves.”

“It’s certainly weird, I’ll give you that. You’ll catch a lot of people by surprise. I hope you can use Earthquake to such use as well.”

Ryan took the old napkin Alex had given him from his pocket and looked it over. Aegon and NaVorro… they both need Earthquake. This is great. That’ll help a lot against Sabrina. Now I just need to make sure everyone is a little stronger before I challenge her again.

He looked up at Hideyoshi. “Okay, I’m ready. Let’s train some Pokémon!”

Hideyoshi bowed again. “It feels good, knowing that perhaps my training will help you beat the gym that put us out of business. It is a small level of revenge, to be honest, but I’ll take what I can get at this point. Come, follow me. Your Pokémon are going to get quite the workout.”

Ryan followed the man into the back room, where another training mat was laid; dozens of Poké Balls were arranged neatly on a table just behind the mat, too.

Hideyoshi picked one up and threw it. Out came a Hitmonlee. Ryan took out Spectre’s Poké Ball and released his sleeping Haunter. Then, he sprayed a revive on the ghost Pokémon, waking it up. The Haunter looked annoyed to be back in the living world, and he had a particularly cruel look reserved especially for Ryan.

“Okay Spectre, we have to train you for the Gym Battle now.” The Haunter folded his arms and turned away from his master. “Come on buddy, don’t be like that. I caught you fair and square. Why are you doing this?”

“Haunter, haunter. Haunt hau!”

“Yeah, I don’t speak Haunter, so you’re just going to have to listen to me, okay?”

“Haunter!” Spectre growled.

Ryan sighed and shook his head. “What do you think? How can I get him to follow me?”

Hideyoshi stood still as a stone. A small smile spread across his face. “That Haunter has a damaged pride. I see it in his eyes. He’s ashamed he allowed himself to be caught by you. He thinks he’s weak. He’s depressed. But… when he sees all the training your other Pokémon will get, he won’t stay out of the battles for long.” Hideyoshi walked over to Haunter and looked him right in the eyes. “After all, Haunter wouldn’t want the other Pokémon to surpass him, would he?”

“Haunter?” Haunter’s eyes widened in fright. “Hau hau, haunter!”

Hideyoshi whispered coolly, “Yeah, that’s right Haunter. I know you want to be number one. Well, go prove it to your master. He may have caught you, but you can show him you were worth catching. Come on, don’t you want to level up?”

“Haunter!”

“I thought so.”

How come everyone in this world except me can speak Pokémon languages?!

Hideyoshi stood up and retreated to his side of the mat. His Hitmonlee stepped into the ring, ready to battle. “Your Haunter will be willing now. Try him. See if he will listen.”

“Okay, Spectre, go into the ring. Battle that Hitmonlee,” Ryan said helpfully. “Use Hypnosis as your first attack.”

“Haunter!” the Haunter barked. He glided into the stage, and before Ryan could even take his place on the other side of the mat, Hitmonlee had already hit the floor, fast asleep. Ryan could not contain his broadening smile. Maybe we have something here. Maybe there’s a chance.


She swore under her breath when she dropped the syringe again. Picking it up for the tenth time, Jessica tried to hold it steady, but she couldn’t. She was shaking too much. Why is this happening? I’m not scared of it. I’m the second in command of Team Rocket. I captured the legendary Mew. I should not be afraid. Yet, her hand could not lie. She called Gilly over after she dropped the syringe again and ordered him to hold it.

“Just like this,” she explained. “Ease it under the fur, into the skin. I want a pure blood sample. No air bubbles. The boss wants as much Mew DNA as he can get.”

“I’m on the case! I’m the Supreme Extreme, and there’s nothing a god like me can’t do!”

Some days, Jessica wished Gilly had been born a dog; that way he would have been drowned at birth. Other days, she loved his company because it made her feel smart. Days like today, though… well, she didn’t know what to think. He annoyed her like no one else, except perhaps that teal-haired boy who had ruined her plans in Pewter City. But Gilly was good at one thing. He could be ordered around like a mindless slave. He definitely acts like a god.

Gilly did the good lord’s work, and produced a vial of Mew’s blood. Jessica looked at it greedily, just thinking about how Giovanni would praise her for this latest success. I have saved Team Rocket. But there was more work to be done. The Painted Dragons still need to be dealt with before we can return to our former glory. With a Mew at her side, Jessica would be unstoppable. She knew the main Painted Dragons base was in Viridian City. An insult, she thought angrily. They took over our old base. But we’ll take it back. We’ll remind everyone who’s really the top cat in Kanto.

“Shouldn’t we put it to sleep before doing this?” Gilly asked. “One time I had a dream that I was on the planet at the center of the universe called Planet Supreme and it was a huge one with food as far as the eye could see. And there was a big fat man who was the chef of the whole world, known affectionately as the Gourmet Emperor of the Universe, and he had a Hitler mustache and he tried to bake me into a cake. I told him that was pretty sweet but I wanted to eat nummy food too so he made me a seaweed and cranberry pie, and it was so good Jessica, when I woke up, I was eating my pillow. I swear it’s true, I do, I do. I teleported into the dream world, and it was just like real life, only I was more powerful and I could fly and I could hover and sometimes I could shoot energy blasts from my hands when I was thinking a really good thought. I’m always thinking really good thoughts, Jessica!”

“Shut up, you cretin,” Jessica whispered. “Just for that I’m demoting you from god to demi-god.”

“No, no, no, you can’t! You can’t, please! I’m a tier one warrior!”

“Not today you aren’t. And if you keep rambling, I’ll knock you down another tier, you half-breed fool.”

“You’re really mean, Jessica,” Gilly pointed out. And you make Magikarp look like Michio Kaku.

But he’s right, she knew. Just looking at the frightened Mew, all curled up in a corner of the cage, made even Jessica’s heart feel something. When she saw it, and the look it gave her, the way it begged with its eyes, she almost felt regretful. Almost.

Haunter sprung from his ball and put the Mew to sleep. At rest, the thing looked beautiful and streamlined, its blue fur swaying back and forth with the wind from the overhead fan. There was no power in its appearance. But that’s its greatest asset. It has the element of surprise on its side. For Jessica knew that the Mew was likely more powerful than any other Pokémon in all of Kanto.

I wonder how much I could sell him for. Mew are rare enough as it is… but a shiny one? She would never do that, of course. She needed the Mew. It was to be her newest Pokémon. It was to be her secret weapon against the Painted Dragons. Not today, and not tomorrow. But soon… soon it will learn that I am its master now. And soon it will start to do my bidding.

Just thinking about that sent shivers up Jessica’s spine. I always wanted to rule the world. And now I can. Giovanni’s too weak to command Mew. It’ll be mine. And if Giovanni died… well, Jessica knew that would be soon. The sooner the better, she thought. She had not always wanted him to die. Indeed, mere days ago, she had cried herself to sleep as she had laid in bed thinking about Giovanni dying of lung cancer. But now… with the Mew in her grasp…

“Gilly, leave.”

“But I have two more samples to take!” the boy whined.

“Out! Or I’ll make you a mortal for a week!”

Gilly scrambled out without another word. Then it was just Jessica, Haunter, and the sleeping Mew. “What do you think, Haunter? Is this Mew going to turn around? How long will it take to tame it?”

“Haunter hau haunter hau haunter.”

“You’re right,” she said. “Now is not the time for patience. We have to move. Time is not on our side. The boss doesn’t have long… and the Painted Dragons are going to try something soon, I know it. They’ll know about what happened in Cerulean City by now, and they’ll want revenge. The longer we wait, the harder it’ll be to destroy them. Oh well. Mew will have to learn its new role on the job.”

She stood up and smirked. Slamming Mew’s cage shut, she picked it up by the handle and walked out. Giovanni wanted three samples. He’ll get one. And he should be happy he’s getting that much from me. It’s me who’s running the show now. With a legendary Pokémon at my side, I’ll be unstoppable.

“Hey Haunter, what do you think about taking a trip to Viridian City?”

Episode 27: Beyond the Pale

When Ryan returned to the Saffron City Gym a few hours later, he found Sabrina already in a battle with someone else, forcing him to wait. So he returned to the streets, to think over his plan. As he paced about, thinking which Pokémon and moves to use, he couldn’t help but remember Abra. I wanted him to challenge Sabrina’s Abra. That way she could have seen how strong I was, how strong my bond with him had become. But it wasn’t meant to be. Gravity kept pulling him around, this way and that, and the rain felt good on his face.

In the distance, a billboard flashed with the message: ‘Silph Co.’s latest product: The exciting and filling Varka! Coming soon to a town near you!’. Ryan was trying to figure out what a Varka was when an older gentleman approached the entrance to the Saffron City Gym from the inside, said good morning to the guard, and then kicked the door open and ran out like a rabid tarsier. The guard chased him for a moment, but as soon as he started sprinting down the street, the guard gave up and returned to the gym.

The elderly man wore a fine white suit and ran with a cane in one hand. He had a merry face and a short white beard. His face lit up when he saw Ryan wandering aimlessly ahead of him, and he quickened his run to reach the boy in a most timely manner.

“My boy!” the man smiled, patting his stomach.

Ryan looked up in irritation. “Yeah?”

“Fine day for a walk, don’t you think?”

It’s raining. A few hours ago, it was raining so hard, no one was out here. Now the rain had let up, a few pedestrians had returned to the Saffron streets for travel, but not that many. It wasn’t exactly ideal weather, either way. “Is there something you want?”

“I refuse to let you take away my Nashville Hot Chicken, with its delicious spicy, smokey flavor!”

“Yeah… you got the wrong person. I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

The man licked his lips and chuckled. “And the delightful pickles on top, mmhmm…”

“That’s great.” Ryan walked away.

“Wait! Don’t leave me here! I’m the Colonel, for god’s sake!”

Ryan whirled to face the man when he was hit in the head by something. Then, the old man ran off with the vitality and speed of an overweight forty-nine year old father of five. Cursing, Ryan looked down at what had hit him. A golden chicken bone lay on the pavement, shining in the rain. The boy picked it up, feeling it, sniffing at it, shaking it to see if it was real. After all his highly scientific tests, Ryan concluded that he had no idea if this chicken bone was made of real gold or not. Given the bizarre nature of the man, he couldn’t guess either way. So Ryan put the bone in his pocket and never thought about it again for the rest of the episode.

After a few more minutes of waiting, Ryan returned to the gym. The battle has to be over by now, he thought. When he went to open the door, from behind, a voice shouted:

“Ryan! Hey, Ryan! Wait up!”

The teal-haired boy turned around to see Logan running through the rain after him. He was wearing his usual black and blue running clothes and his black beanie, and his cheeks were flushed. If that was from him running or something else, Ryan did not know.

“Look who decided to show up.”

“Yeah, sorry… that took longer than I thought it would. Have you battled Sabrina yet?”

“Nope.”

Logan looked surprised. “What’ve you been doing then? I left hours ago!”

“I was training my team. Don’t you know? Sabrina’s one of the most fearsome trainers in all of Kanto. I have to make sure I’m at my best before challenging her.”

“That makes sense,” said Logan.

“Do you want to watch?” Ryan asked.

“Yep!”

“Alright. Just a fair bit of warning, though… Sabrina can read minds, so don’t think about anything you don’t want her to know.”

Logan nodded and followed Ryan inside before stopping dead in his tracks in confusion. “Hey, wait a minute. How do you know that?”

Oh crap. “Uh… come on, we’re going to be late!” Ryan ran off into the gym, refusing to answer Logan’s most astute question; thus, the other boy was forced to run after him in confusion.

The guard at the inner door told Ryan that Sabrina’s match against the trainer had just concluded. Suddenly, the door opened, and a tall blonde girl with rosy cheeks and a pink-and-white dress came storming out, tears in her eyes. She got wrecked, just like me, the first time I fought Sabrina, Ryan thought. He was content, though. This trainer’s misery didn’t affect him at all. In fact, it made him a bit more confident. If so many other trainers have had trouble with this gym, that only means that I’ll be seen as a great Pokémon Master when I beat Sabrina.

The doors slammed behind them after the two entered. There stood Sabrina, on the other side of the temple stage. She was wearing the same thing she had been wearing the last time Ryan had faced her. Ryan thought about thinking a thought, but he thought that was a bad idea, so instead, he thought some nonsense instead, hoping to confuse Sabrina. Two one two three, no prognathism for me!

“You’re back,” Sabrina said.

“I’m going to beat you!” Ryan announced. “My Pokémon are a lot stronger now!”

“Whatever you say.”

“I thought you said you didn’t battle her yet!” Logan whispered, but Ryan ignored him.

Sabrina’s eyes flashed Ryan’s way. Golden showers from the skies, open your mouth for a surprise, taste pretty darling, don't be shy, and I will sing a lullaby, he thought fiercely. “Three on three. You know the rules.”

Ryan nodded and stepped forward onto the temple stage. “Go, Haunter!”

The Haunter shot out of his ball to meet Sabrina’s expected fighter: Abra. Spectre already knew what to do.

“Flash attack,” Sabrina ordered her Pokémon, which Ryan had indeed expected.

The Flash hit Haunter, but it wasn’t an offensive move. Spectre began to spin about, disoriented, but still fully healthy. He then rushed at the Abra and hypnotized the small creature easily. With Abra asleep, Ryan’s Haunter was now free to do what he wanted. I don’t think her Abra has any offensive moves. I should be able to do whatever I want now.

“Night Shade!”

“Hau, hau!”

Haunter disappeared and the whole stage flashed with purple light as the ghost Pokémon attacked the poor sleeping Psi Pokémon. The Abra fell backwards onto the floor, its body smoking and bruised. But it was not yet defeated, so Ryan ordered his Haunter to use another Night Shade.

Seeing this was going to go no better for her, Sabrina returned Abra and sent out her next Pokémon.“Kadabra, finish him. Use Psywave.”

The Night Shade hit Kadabra first, doing decent damage, but not as much as Ryan would have hoped. The Kadabra shrugged off what had so easily downed its previous evolution, and hit Haunter with a swirling beam of psychic energy. Spectre howled in pain, but didn’t go down, allowing him to use a move too.

“Thunderbolt,” Ryan screamed at the top of his lungs.

“Huh?” he heard Sabrina say.

It was too late for Kadabra, who was too close to Haunter to dodge the attack. The Thunderbolt cracked it right in the belly, exploding in a torrent of energy. The Kadabra fell over, twitching. He’s paralyzed, Ryan realized. His heart started to beat faster. He looked up at Sabrina, who was staring him down. I don’t want to be mass-consumed. I’m not a happy meal. She looked repulsed and he began to laugh. Keep reading my mind, Sabrina. It’s doing you a lot of good.

“Arrogance…” she said just loud enough to carry across the battlefield. “I’ll put you in your place, kid.”

“Kadabra, use Psychic!”

“Hypnosis, Haunter!”

“Haunter, haunt!” Spectre roared before charging forward. However, when he tried to put the Kadabra to sleep, he missed. How such a straightforward attack could miss, especially against a paralyzed foe, Ryan could not guess. If I raise three times the pot and semi-bluff the river, I’ll be good, Ryan thought, hoping his nonsense would confuse Sabrina and cause her to make a mistake.

The Psychic did not miss. It hit Spectre in the face, and just like last time, he let out a gasp of pain, as if the air was being sucked from his gaseous body, and then fell like a log onto the stage. Ryan returned him at once.

“Go, NaVorro!”

“Psychic attack, Kadabra.”

“Earthquake!” It’s Christmastime in Indonesia, Ryan knew.

Since Kadabra was paralyzed, he was now slower than the Tauros. He jumped up into the air and slammed down on the stage, causing a small Earthquake to rumble across the floor. Poor Kadabra could not dodge such trickery, and he was hit so ferociously by it, that by the time the shaking stopped, the stage all cracked to pieces, Kadabra fell over, swirly eyes upon his face. That’s two.

“Kadabra return. Alakazam, go.”

“Earthquake again.”

“Psychic!” Sabrina yelled. Ryan could tell she wasn’t calm anymore. She doesn’t want to lose to me. He looked her in the eye and saw the red flames they had become.

Alakazam, being faster, hit NaVorro first. The hit was devastating, causing the Tauros to fall over and huff out in pain. It was a critical hit, Ryan knew. His Tauros had one more attack in him, maybe. Come on buddy, you can do it. Standing up, his body quivering, NaVorro, used his remaining strength to once again jump in the air and cause an Earthquake to rain down upon the stage. The Alakazam shook and fell to one knee, taking decent damage, but it wasn’t enough. NaVorro’s done.

Indeed, another Psychic attack caused the Bull Pokémon to collapse, and Ryan was forced to return him. It was then that he was truly left with a decision to make. Sabrina eyes were on him, boring into his skull like sharpened toothbrush handles. He shivered, knowing she was prying into his mind for any hint at what he was going to try. There's no more hyperventilating in wheelchairs. We're gonna save the last Arcanine on Funk Island, he thought, trying to throw her off. He had no idea if he actually was.

“Go Aegon.”

“Reflect, Alakzam!” Sabrina said quickly.

Ryan shouted his own order at the same time, “Swords Dance, Aegon!”

The two Pokémon performed their two defensive moves, though Ryan was unsure what Reflect did exactly.

“The user’s defense is raised considerably against physical attacks,” Dex told him. “Is there anything else my noble master requires of me?”

“Shut up and go back in my pocket!” Ryan grunted, stuffing the red sass-puter back into said pocket.

He knew what Sabrina had done, and that she had specifically countered his Swords Dance strategy. He was out of options, then. He didn’t know how damaged Alakazam was, or if Charmeleon could do anything to it before getting KO’d. I’ve got one try. He didn’t care if Sabrina read that from his mind.

“Fire Blast, buddy,” he urged his Charmeleon. “Make this one count.”

“Psychic,” Sabrina ordered her Pokémon. That’s all she tells them to do, Ryan thought in displeasure. Can’t she use some other attacks?

The Psychic hit Aegon first, as everyone knew it would. Aegon weathered the hit poorly - just as NaVorro had - and Ryan knew he could not withstand another. Come on Aegon! We’ve trained so hard for this. He’s already weak from what NaVorro did to him. You just have to finish him off. You can do it!

“Char… meleon!” Aegon roared, producing white-hot dragonfire between his teeth. He jumped in the air and dove forward at the Alakazam, who simply stood there holding a bruised shoulder. Ryan knew there was no way Alakazam, in his current state, could dodge the attack.

The flames leapt from Aegon’s mouth and covered Alakazam in a raging, swirling inferno. Charmeleon landed deftly on the shattered stage, just feet from his foe. The flames burned for a long time, and everyone stood still, too anxious to think or even breathe. And then, at last, the flames cooled, and Alakazam stepped out from behind a veil of smoke.

“Ka… zam…” the Psi Pokémon coughed before collapsing on the ground, unconscious.

“Yes!” Ryan shouted.

“Char, char, char!” Charmeleon roared back, beating his chest ferociously. “Char, char! Charmeleon!” He shot a blast of flames into the air, and then once again beat his chest and howled.

Suddenly, a white light covered Charmeleon.

“Ah, no way!” Logan cried.

Ryan’s jaw dropped. “Is he…?”

Another spire of fire erupted from the glowing figure of Aegon’s body. Smoke billowed outwards; the stage reeked of brimstone; Ryan glimpsed his Charmeleon changing and morphing growing larger in the mess of it all.

The smoke dissipated, and there stood Aegon the Charizard, in front of his master. Ryan ran onto the stage, tears in his eyes, and hugged his Pokémon.

“You did it Aegon! You beat Sabrina! And you evolved too! Wow!”

The Charizard grumbled and tried to play it cool. Logan ran onto the stage too and congratulated Ryan and his team for their amazing victory. Across the hall, Sabrina descended the stairs below her throne and walked over to Ryan and the others. She held out a Marsh Badge in her hand for him to take.

“A loss is a loss. You beat me fair and square, kid. I admit I didn't work hard enough to win. You earned this Marsh Badge. You have a strong bond with all of your Pokémon. I wish you well in the Indigo League.”

“Th-thanks…! And about what I was thinking…”

She held up her hand and shook her head. “You didn’t know I could read your mind.” A thin smile crept onto her face. “So I could see the true you for a while. But this time, you knew, and you used that to your advantage. You tried to confuse me. I don’t know if it worked, but at least I didn’t learn anything else about how you think of me.”

“Uh,” Ryan blushed, “y-you’re a great trainer, Sabrina! You’re the most difficult foe I’ve ever faced.”

She laughed humorlessly and turned away. “It will only get harder from here on out. Keep training your Pokémon, and I’m sure you will do well.”

“Alright, well we better get going. I have a battle waiting for me in Celadon City!”

Sabrina nodded. Ryan congratulated Aegon again, and gave the dragon who was not really a dragon (yet) another big hug, which only seemed to embarrass the Charizard further. Then, he returned him to his Poké Ball, patted Logan on the back, and the two made for the door.

“Wait,” Sabrina said. The two froze, then turned around. “You,” she said, pointing to Logan. “You should tell him. He has a right to know.”

“What do you mean?” Ryan asked.

Logan went red and shook his head. “I-I don’t know!”

“I read your mind earlier,” Sabrina explained. “It’s no use. I won’t tell him myself, but I just wanted you to know that that is not something you should keep from him.”

“Tell me what?” Ryan asked. “Tell me what?!”

“Right, I’ll think about it,” Logan replied slowly. “Let’s go, Ryan.”

“Hey, what just happened?”

This time it was Logan’s turn to run off into the darkness, with poor confused Ryan forced to chase after him.


It was evening by the time they set out down Route 7 towards Celadon City. Ryan tried his best to pry Logan’s apparent secret from him, but the other boy would not say a thing about it. Ryan even offered to give him the golden chicken bone if he would spill his secrets, but that radical prize didn’t tempt Logan in the slightest.

They came upon four people in the tiny Route 7 not long after, as Ryan was in a heated exchange with Logan over being honest and all that noble stuff he had read about in books. They stopped their argument at once, for the four people they saw were most familiar to Ryan - or at least their outfits were. What are they doing here?

“This Route belongs to Team Rocket!” one of the men in the black jumpsuits declared. “Pay a toll or prepare for a Pokémon battle!”

“No it isn’t! Celadon City is part of the Painted Dragons territory!”

“Never!” said the Team Rocket soldier. “The Painted Dragons are nothing compared to Team Rocket. We own all of Kanto!”

“Hah, nice one. That joke was almost funny,” the Painted Dragon seethed. Ryan could see he had a Bulbasaur and a Porygon tattooed on his bare arm.

“Whoa, hold up, there’s someone approaching!” the second Team Rocket man said to his peer.

“Team Rocket, what are you doing here?” Ryan asked when he had Logan reached the others.

“Shut up kid, this ain’t your business.”

“Where did you take the Mew?!” he asked more forcefully.

Before, the Team Rocket man had not even looked at Ryan, he had thought so little of the teal-haired boy. Now, he did look at him, and Ryan saw both fear and confusion briefly surge through his face. “Wh-what are you talking about?”

“You captured a Mew in Lavender Town. Where did you take it?!”

“Why does that matter to you, kid?”

“Tell me!” Ryan shouted, his voice going high. “I’m not asking again.”

“I’m not telling you anything, kid. Get out of here!”

NaVorro materialized from his Poké Ball. He lowered his head, stamped his foot, and exhaled sharply from his nose. Ryan patted his Tauros on the nape of the neck and bit his lip. “Tell me where Mew is, or this is going to hurt a lot for you.”

The two Team Rocket lackeys exchanged a look and then drew their Poké Balls. Ryan squeezed NaVorro’s neck, telling him to charge. Before the two men could release their own Pokémon, the Tauros was already racing at them, stampeding wildly. And then, they flew. I never knew men could fly, Ryan thought. He watched the two tumble through the air, high enough to nearly crash into a gliding Fearow. Then, they sailed away, as if they were riding a wind current, and fell out of sight deep into the forest.

Ryan turned his attention to the two Painted Dragon members. “You two…” he began.

“Whoa, whoa, whoa,” one with Zubat tattooes said in an alarmed tone, “we don’t want no trouble! Let’s just go our separate ways.”

“Do you remember what happened in Cerulean City?” Ryan asked them.

“Yeah, but what’s that got to do with anything?”

“Well, I was the one who destroyed your base there.”

The men shrieked in shock and fear. “No way!”

“Yes way. Get ‘em, NaVorro.”

NaVorro the Tauros was happy to oblige his master. Soon Ryan learned that Painted Dragons could fly just as well as members of Team Rocket.

Once the route was empty again, Ryan sighed. “I want to find that Mew,” he said. “But I don’t know where to look. If none of the Team Rocket guys are going to talk, how are we supposed to find it?”

“I say we take one hostage and torture him until he gives us the goods,” Logan said savagely.

That’s one way to do it. But if we did that, wouldn’t we be just as bad as them?

The two walked the rest of the way to Celadon in silence. Ryan didn’t want to bring up the supposed secret Logan had again, not after their most recent victory. It’d ruin the vibe. And, he was too tired. All he wanted to do was collapse into bed, in a preferably cheap hotel, and dream of how to beat Erika, the Gym Leader of Celadon City. With a Charizard, it shouldn’t be so hard, he knew. Pride swelled in his throat as he thought of Aegon, whom he had raised from Charmeleon to Charizard, whom he had made into a deadly fighter capable of beating the Pokémon of one of the greatest Gym Leaders in all of Kanto. Erika won’t be nearly as hard as Olivia or Sabrina. He wondered if Erika was as pretty as them.

They reached the end of the route not long after, and Ryan could see the lights of Celadon City in the distance. The evening was turning to night, and soon everything would be dark. They’d have to find a hotel, somewhere to eat, a Pokémon Center to rest NaVorro. There was still so much to do.

I wonder if Rahul and Alex are in that city somewhere. Are they waiting for me? Or did they leave me behind because I took so long? He tried counting the days since the group had last been together, but they all sort of blurred together. He would have liked to have reached Celadon a day or two ago, at the very least. But maybe it took Rahul ages to beat Koga, or they got lost on the trip back. Maybe they aren’t even here yet. He could hope.

“So there’s another Gym Leader here?” Logan asked, breaking the silence, as they gazed off at the city beyond the forest’s edge.

“Yep. This one shouldn’t be so hard. We’ll go fast. And then I’m off to my last gym.”

“You’re a really good trainer, Ryan,” Logan said. “I can’t believe I’m getting to see all these cool battles.”

“Yeah, thanks. But I’m not really that good. I’m sure all the people in the tournament are going to be just as good, if not better.” He thought of Kelly, of her team and how she had wiped out all of the gyms they had traveled to together. I never beat any Gym Leaders as badly as she did. And she had had all those weeks to train her team since they had gone their separate ways. It wouldn’t surprise me if she wins the whole thing. “Come on, let’s find a hotel. I’m tired.”

“Alright, let’s go!” Logan said cheerfully, leading the way.

“You wouldn’t happen to have another friend in Celadon, would you?” Ryan asked. “I don’t want you running off again.”

“Nope,” Logan shook his head.

“Good.”

Ryan saw something in the dark, moving at ground level across the treeline to the right. He stopped and stared, and for one mad moment, he thought he saw Abra - his Abra. Was his mind playing tricks on him? Was he delirious from fighting Sabrina? He didn’t know. He went to call out, but the shadow faded, and nothing remained.

Ryan felt a cold chill spread across his body as a gust of wind blew through the trees. He felt unbearably lonely then, like he wanted to shrivel up and die. Memories from when he had returned home and faced his father flashed through his mind, and he felt himself biting his lip so hard he could taste blood. He shook his head, trying to forget.

The past is the past. I can’t change it. Yet, as he followed Logan into Celadon City, Ryan’s feelings for Abra did not diminish. He knew he would never get over losing his first Pokémon, just as he would never get over that look the caged Mew had given him back in Lavender Town. I’ll find that Mew, he promised himself. I can’t get Abra back, but I’ll save that Mew, even if I have to beat every trainer in Team Rocket first. They’re not getting away with that.

Episode 28: Thousand Cranes

The morning came too soon; Ryan awoke in the Celadon hotel as groggy as King Bob after a tourney. But he had to go get that badge (the plot must go on), so up he got. He got dressed, ate himself some room service ‘assorted fruit’ (it was mediocre) and set out for Erika’s grass gym. The teal-haired boy had a plan - roast Erika’s Pokémon like ants with a magnifying glass (source: HZ 1) with his new Charizard. Ryan, like any good Pokémon Master, knew grass Pokémon were weak against fire types. And I’ve got the best fire type there is.

Logan was still asleep on his own bed, and Ryan left him where he was. Ain’t nobody got time to wake up that rando. Ryan stumbled out into the new day, which was quite too bright for him. It was merely 10 o’clock, but it was as cold as miserable as my professor named Terrence Elliot (may he not rest in pieces). He is a terrible sapien, who didn’t even give the Beatles more than five minutes of lecture time, but I digress.

Ryan stepped outside and saw that around him, there was a farmer’s market in full bloom. He hated such things. Buying organic fruit for exorbitant prices was not his favorite activity in the world. It ranked just above cleaning the kitty litter box in his best friend’s house.

The streets were as crowded as Lu Xun’s mind. Men and women, Pokémon trainers and their Pokémon companions, travelers and miscreants all crowded around wooden stalls, exchanging Poké Dollars and organic food like a bunch of veritable vexations. Ryan had to be swallowed whole and spit out again before he came to the end of the farmer’s market, where one last stand stood in all its ramshackle glory. It looked like a 20 year old chicken coop that hadn’t been used in 19 years. This stand was manned by a woman he recognized; an older, lumpy female. Let’s call her Jenny (she has no relation to any officer, which makes this even more confusing). She was sitting behind a small wooden stand with piles of jackfruit for sale. Ryan’s belly grumbled. I like me some jackfruit.

“Yo Jenny,” Ryan said. He was a balla, as she well knew. She was the mother of all of his old friends back in Boston, Kanto. “Gimme sommadat jackfruit jafeel me?”

“It’s really sticky!” she cautioned. “I have known you since you were a small child Ryan, be careful.”

“I like getting my fingers sticky,” the boy reminded her, and he bought an entire 47 lbs. fruit for a mere 160 Poké Dollars.

“Have you seen my own perfect child… Quinny?” She cleared her throat. “He is one of the best people; he went to UC Berkeley. Tell him to come home soon because I need him to unload the dishwasher.”

“I’ll keep an eye out for him,” Ryan promised. He was about to leave when he remembered something.“Oh, has Quinny become a master gardener like he promised he would?”

Jenny was looking at her phone, playing Candy Crush and not paying attention. Fine, be that way. Maybe I won’t weed whack your backyard anymore. He placed the spiked fruit in his backpack and continued on towards the gym. Gotta save the sixth best fruit in the world for my celebratory feast after I destroy Erika.

He made his way over to the hulking, greenhouse-wannabe building, which had a sign on it that read: ‘Out of order, contact the supervisor’. “Who’s the supervisor?!” Ryan yelled angrily. “Come on, I need this badge!”

He looked around and saw that no one else was paying attention to the gym or him. This is just like season one of the Pokémon anime all over again. So Ryan did the only thing he could do - he went to the Pokémon Center to kill time. Invariably, this allows certain plot points to develop, otherwise this would have been a terrible idea. Ryan went to the Pokémon Center like he was on a field trip in third grade where his dad bought him an ice cream,but didn’t buy any for any of the other kids he was driving, which made this all pretty awkward. As Ryan rested his Pokémon, he browsed the Pokémon Center’s inventory, which was legit af. They had all sorts of TMs, most of which were useless and overpriced as a pair of hello kitty panties. But Ryan saw one TM that he liked - a Hyper Beam. Lordy, lordy, he thought. That’s just what I need for NaVorro and Myrrah and Aegon too! Practically my whole team needs this move!

So he bought it, he did. It made Ryan nearly broke to purchase such an expensive move, but he didn’t care. He was always living on the edge. He was like a cannibal hobo, riding those Lionel Trains. He had just given three of his Pokémon a move they would use in the upcoming Indigo League; that made it worth it. The boy looked at the canister he had purchased and read the instructions: ‘To teach a Pokémon this move, simply spray them in the face for at least five seconds. They’ll understand soon enough.’

That made sense. Ryan returned to Nurse Joy, who looked fine as a bottle of merlot (I mean orange juice), and requested his Pokés. She gave them to him after a nice succ. Ryan took Aegon, Myrrah, and NaVorro out of their fresh, shiny balls then and there and sprayed them all in the face with the Hyper Beam TM.

“There, now everyone knows Hyper Beam!” Ryan shrieked.

“Aharhaahahahahahah!” Aegon grumbled, semi-lucidly.

“Squeakalalka!” Myrrah added in a dazed tone.

“Grhmmpph!” NaVorro snorted with a tremendous amount of consciousness, given the circumstances.

It was a beautiful cacophony of noise, which Ryan understood as well as he did the nuances of Liebermann’s melodic fancies in Op. 29, No 1. “Great job everyone, now you know Hyper Beam! It’s the best move ever! I will need you guys to be able to use this one during the Indigo League,” he told them, patting the three on the head before returning them into their balls. He didn’t wait to hear what they thought about learning the new move; that would waste an insane amount of space in this already-packed chapter.

Ryan bought a sandwich of peanut butter and honey and sat in that Pokémon Center until high noon, at which time he returned to the dusty streets of Celadon City. He wondered if Logan had woken up yet, but felt too lazy to go back to the hotel to check. Outside, he found the endless squabble of the farmer’s market still going on into the wee hours of the noon, as if it were a Green Day concert. It nearly made him sick. This is such a non-wonderful mess.

Ryan decided to pass the time by going into a side building, which was called ‘Thousand Cranes’. Once inside, Ryan saw the place was a rustic building, to be sure, wrought of bamboo wood, old as a mummer’s farce. The very air seemed to be thick with dust. Ryan walked up to the podium in the center of the room, where an old Chinese man stood, yelling ‘Cartwright!’.

“Hello, what is this placed?” asked the boy known as Ryan.

“Thousand Cranes, Cartwright four!” the man bellowed, fingering his ear and nearly collapsing on the crimson rug. “P-please… go on, don’t bother me, I am poor man of little fame.”

“Oh okay,” Ryan said, pushing his way forward past the apparently dying man. He thought he’d seen that man somewhere before, but he couldn’t think of where.

In the next room were a series of paper doors, painted with ink in delicate strokes, rendering flowers and lilypads and even vagabonds in the WC in their forms. Ryan took the first door forward and soon found himself in a circle of hominids - three men and four women. A regally-robed woman sat at the center of the group, preparing tea, while the other six sat around her in a circle, still as the dawn. They all wore kimonos and looked as if they were about to drink some kool-aid.

Ryan took his seat next to a middle-aged woman who wore a kimono with a patterning of 99 red cranes. That made Ryan feel nice. He took a misshapen cup and gave her a wink (he really wanted to take her back to his hotel room, but I digress); the woman didn’t even look at Ryan, but was sipping her tea like a hypnotized spectre. That doesn’t surprise me, Ryan thought sadly. My hair could start a bowl cut fad, and the state of my attire’s pretty sad.

They drank tea in silence as the woman in the center of the room poured it with utter indifference and slowness, akin to a Slowpoke dipping its tail in a fountain hoping to evolve into a Slowbro. It was as sad as it was desolate in its beauty. That is to say, Ryan thought the woman with 99 cranes ‘round her neck was prettier than even the Nurse Joy in Pewter City. But he couldn’t say anything since fancy time was happening. The tea server was really serious about what she was doing, and when she finally poured Ryan his cup, he took it, drank it, and thought it was unbelievably mediocre.

Afterwards, as everyone filed out in stiff silence, Ryan confronted the woman with 99 cranes on her kimono, who didn’t look a day past fifty years old. “Nice tea,” he said.

“Yes, it was exquisite…” the woman said distantly. She brought a robed hand to her mouth and yawned dramatically. “It reminds me of home.”

You wouldn’t happen to have a big dark patch of skin hidden somewhere on your body, would you? “Well, if you need a home tonight, my room number is 102 in the Celadon Hotel,” Ryan said hopefully.

The woman laughed and walked off. He took out and waved the golden chicken bone he had won from an eccentric old man in the last chapter, hoping that would interest the woman, but alas, it did not. Curses, he thought. She was almost in me, like a dancer who is tiny.

But Ryan knew it was going to be alright, even if he was on a sinking ship. He was never the short knife and never dull mind; Ryan had always been somewhere in between. As such, he’d never been good enough, or bad enough for anyone. That made him cry a long time. The woman was getting away, and Ryan was going to cry himself a river, when he saw her making her way to the Celadon Gym. She walked right up to it without care and opened the door, taking the ‘Out of order’ sign off, just like that.

Ryan’s jaw dropped. He wondered, is that Erika? If that is, she’s nice as all heck. He ran over to the gym preparing to make his way inside when a man came running out from the bushes. Old was he, and clothed in camouflage with binoculars around his neck (which reminded Ryan of a giraffe’s). He had a mustache that would have looked more at home on the face of a thirteen year old boy, and he was scratching his chin as if to ponder the sun and stars and their relation to psychoneuroquanta.

“Nice girls inside,” he laughed, elbowing Ryan as the boy walked past. “This gym’s got all the hotties.”

“Uh, sure man, whatever you say.”

“Say, you wouldn’t want to dress up as a girl for me, and sneak in and let me in, would you?”

“Why would I do that?”

“I wanna get inside!” the crotchety old man laughed lustily. “Wanna see me some of them girls! Woohoo! But they banned me… if you pretended to be Gym Leader Erika and let me in…”

“Dude, she’s an old woman. No way I can pull that off.” Ryan did like dressing up as girls, but only on the weekends and only when Gym Badges were not on the line.

“Aw shucks.”

“It’s okay,” Ryan said, trying to comfort the lecherous man. “I’m sure you’ll die before you get inside there. You’re really old.”

And with that, Ryan ran into the building. Inside the stench of perfume pervaded, as thick as his daddy’s mustache. There were greenhouses and gardens, overflowing with flowers and pepper plants. It would have made Ryan’s best friend, the aforementioned Quinny, cry with tears of habanero. Ryan felt a little less than indifferent at the sight of all the plants. I just want to win this badge, he thought.

As he was walking through the greenhouse, watching Oddishes, Bulbasaurs, and Bellsprouts dance in and out of the mist of falling water and perfume swimming through the air, he came upon a girl standing in his way. She blocked the path to the room beyond and wore a dress of orange and white, a pink bow in her blonde hair, and had a meek look on her face. When Ryan tried to pass her, she looked up at him, drew a Poké Ball, and shouted:

“If you want to face Gym Leader Erika, you’ll have to get past me first!”

“Come on, I’m here to battle her, not you!”

“Most gyms have all sorts of lackeys! We’re like cockroaches!” the girl declared with fervent yelps. “Battle me, or turn back now! If you hope to beat the Gym Leader, you should have no trouble with me!”

I won’t. “Fine. How many Pokémon?”

“Two Pokémon apiece!” the girl cried. “A battle to the end!”

Ryan sighed and took out Aegon’s ball. Let’s just get this over with. “Go Aegon!”

“I’m known as Beauty around these parts,” the girl insisted, and Ryan didn’t really think that was an apt name. She looked alright, but she was no woman in a 99 red cranes kimono. “Go Oddish!”

“Go Aegon!”

“Poison Powder!” Beauty squealed.

“Earthquake,” Ryan ordered his Charizard.

Aegon, who was a higher level, went first and rocked that Oddish’s world. But he didn’t rock it enough, for when the ground stopped shaking, the Oddish popped up like an annoying weed and shot its Poison Powder at Aegon. The cursed, tricksy powder hit the fire Pokémon in the face, causing him to growl.

“Aegon the Charizard has become poisoned!” Dex told Ryan.

“Oh no! Come on! Did you really have to use a cheap trick?”

Beauty shrugged.

“Ugh, okay Aegon, use Fire Blast.”

“Rawahahahawr!” Aegon screamed, warming up his inner fire before blasting the little plant thing with a hurricane of cleansing dragonflame. When the smoke cleared, the Oddish had collapsed; Ryan saw the swirly eyes on its face and knew it had fainted.

“Score one for Ryan, the greatest Pokémon Master ever!” the teal-haired boy shouted with glee.

“Raa…” Aegon agreed, though the poison was continuing to affect him.

“Very well. Go Gloom!”

“Okay this time Aegon, don’t let her use a move. I need you to be alright to face Erika, okay?”

“Mwrahaha!” the Charizard shrieked. His confidence made Ryan feel good. His next blast of fire made Ryan feel even better, especially when he saw the Gloom fall over, roasted to a crisp.

“You beat me!” Beauty complained, falling to the ground, her legs splayed in an impossibly cute manner. She looked like she was going to cry, and before Ryan could say anything, she threw a bunch of Poké Dollars at him as well as a canister that read ‘Mega Drain’ and ran off.

“That was weird,” Ryan said. He picked up the TM canister and looked it over. “Hey, I could give this to Spectre… But that’ll have to wait until after I get my badge!”

Aegon barked and returned to his ball. Ryan saw a few other girls standing around the greenhouse as he moved further into the Gym, but he never got within their lines of sight, so as to not trigger them to walk forward several steps and challenge him to a fight. He’d learned this lesson in the Cinnabar Island Gym.

Eventually, Ryan came to the end of the room, where he saw a woman standing in front of a mess of vines, holding a watering jug in her hand. Next to her stood a Gloom, humming tunelessly. The light of the sun was coming in through the great window panes in front of the woman, silhouetting her against the wild green. It was hot in that room, as humid as a summer spent in North Carolina. But even in the blinding light, Ryan could make out the red dancing cranes lining Erika’s kimono. That was her, he knew. He drew Aegon’s ball and stepped forward to face his opponent.

“Erika!” Ryan’s voice echoed throughout the greenhouse. “I’m here to challenge you for a Rainbow Badge!”

“Oh, another challenger already?” the woman said lazily, turning around. Water was still spilling out of her watering jug, giving the floor moss some much-needed rain.

“That’s right.” Ryan raised his Poké Ball, preparing to throw it. “Can we get this over with, please?”

“As you wish,” the woman yawned, moving as slowly as a Slowbro dipped in molasses. “Three on three, how does that sound to you?”

“Sounds fine,” Ryan replied.

“Good,” the woman spoke, her eyes fluttering as if she was trying to stay awake. At once, she beheld Ryan and remembered him. “Hey… you’re the boy from the tea ceremony.”

“That’s right.” He took out the golden chicken bone again and waved it at her hopefully.

She snorted and unhooked a Poké Ball from her belt. “You were quite sure of yourself before. Let’s see how well you do in a battle. Tangela, I choose you!”

“Aegon, win this one for me!”

The Charizard and Tangela materialized in front of their trainers, ready to square off.

“Tangela, the Vine Pokémon. Its identity is obscured by masses of thick, blue vines. The vines are said to never stop growing,” good, faithful Dexy droned.

“Thanks, but I don’t think those vines are gonna save it,” Ryan boasted, ignoring his Charizard’s poisoned state. “Fire Blast, buddy!”

Aegon obeyed, bathing the little mess of blue vines in his super effective fire. Suffice to say, fire beats grass any day, and soon Tangela was charred as black as spinach anytime Ryan tried to cook it.

Erika yawned noisily. “Impressive. Your Charizard knows a good move. Now go, Weepinbell!”

Aegon let out a cry of pain as the poison ravaged his body. Ryan grit his teeth. Just a little more, he urged his Pokémon. Just have to beat two more and I’ll take you to the Pokémon Center, I promise. Out of the ball came Erika’s Weepinbell, another grass Pokémon, another one destined to be destroyed by Aegon’s flames.

Ryan was getting bored of using the same attack over and over again, though. He wasn’t a spammer, not like Robbie and Xiao Bao. So, abandoning reason for madness, Ryan shouted, “Hyper Beam! Show that Weepinbell your new move, buddy!”

“Rawr!” Aegon roared, taking to the sky as he charged up his attack.

“Wrap him when he returns,” Erika said calmly to her Weepinbell. “Do not let him escape.”

The Hyper Beam shone from Aegon’s nose like a flashlight. The fire Pokémon circled in the skies, charging up his new attack, before shooting at the Weepinbell like a bullet. Just before Aegon reached his quarry, he released his white energy, coving the poor grass Pokémon entirely. Triumphantly, Aegon landed in front of Ryan and crossed his arms in satisfaction.

But Weepinbell was not destroyed, even though it was very much injured. It limped out of the smoke and rushed at Aegon, taking him unaware. Though the Charizard struggled, he could not get out of the vine grip of the cursed grass Pokémon. It wrapped him once, and he screamed from the damage and the ravages of poison; again this happened; when the third wrap came, Aegon fainted after the poisonous damage rippled through his body. He collapsed, and Ryan returned him to his Poké Ball.

The boy reached for a Poké Ball and yelled, “Abra, it’s your turn!” But there was no Poké Ball that had an Abra inside it, he realized after he went searching through his bag. Abra is gone. Emotion came flooding to Ryan again, and he was briefly lost in thought. Trying to clear his thoughts, Ryan picked up the first Poké Ball he found and threw it. Out came NaVorro, the leal Tauros.

“Blizzard, buddy!” There was distress in the boy’s voice, a sense of fear that he tried to swallow away. NaVorro stamped his feet and covered the already-weakened Weepinbell in a frosty surprise, forcing Erika to recall it.

“Okay Gloom, it’s your turn,” the woman said in her dreamy voice. The Pokémon at her side squealed and jumped forward, ready to battle.

“Blizzard again!”

NaVorro wrapped the Gloom in a mess of ice spikes, snow, and foul winds. Gloom was a steadfast Pokémon though, stronger than Erika’s other two, and it weathered that storm. When the snow winds cleared, Gloom shook the ice off its leaves and ran at NaVorro. When it reached him, it shot a powder from its head-flower, which covered NaVorro and made him collapse, fast asleep.

“Sleep Powder,” Dex counseled. “Your Tauros has fallen asleep wise master.”

“Dang!” Ryan recalled NaVorro and threw another ball - this one contained the devious and tricksy Spectre, Ryan’s Haunter. “Thunderbolt, Spectre. Come on boy, don’t fail me this time!” You were supposed to win me my Marsh Badge, Ryan thought, and you failed. Now win me a Rainbow Badge to make up for last time.

“Haunter, haunt!”

“Sleep Powder again!” Erika commanded her Pokémon.

It was no use. Haunter was faster, as had been all of Ryan’s Pokémon. He knew what that meant. Mine are higher levels… and yet she still took out two of them, including a Charizard. She’s really good. Haunter bounced casually over to the Gloom, began to laugh maniacally as he looked down on the helpless plant Pokémon, and just when it tried to shoot its Sleep Powder at him, he conjured a Thunderbolt between his hands and effortlessly threw it at his foe. Gloom shrieked as it was electrocuted and singed, and a moment later, it fell over, defeated.

“Yeesssssssssssssss!!” Ryan screamed, punching the sky. “That’s seven!”

Erika yawned, bringing dancing red cranes to her mouth. She returned her Gloom to its ball and walked over to Ryan, taking something out of her pocket as she made the arduous journey. When she reached him, she presented a rainbow-colored Rainbow Badge to him in her palm. “I concede defeat. You are remarkably strong. I must confer you the Rainbow Badge,” she said, and Ryan took what he had won from her hand. “I wish you good fortune in the battles to come,” she said. “Your Pokémon use a variety of TMs, is that correct?”

Ryan nodded, not looking at her. He was enthralled by the beauty of his seventh badge.

“That is quite clever. You will do well in the Indigo League if you make it that far. Good luck.”

“Thanks!” Ryan beamed. He took out his little badge booklet and placed the Rainbow Badge just to the right of the Marsh Badge. He looked over the seven shiny pins he had won; it all looked remarkably cohesive. That was his entire journey right there, showing all that he had accomplished. But there was yet one open space, one badge he had not earned: Viridian City’s, he thought. And once again, Ryan was reminded of Kelly, and how long ago she had been in this position herself, when she had left the group. She’s been training her Pokémon for weeks. He gulped, thinking about the magnitude of her head start. He wouldn’t be getting his Earth Badge for a few more days at least. I’m months behind her, he thought glumly. If we fought today, she’d beat me as easily as a Zapdos would a Krabby.

Erika was still standing there, staring at Ryan, as if she had just said something. “Oh,” he said at last. “Sorry, I got distracted.”

“It’s okay,” she replied, yawning deeply. “The perfume… it has always made it difficult for me to concentrate.”

“Well I better get going,” Ryan told Erika. “I still have one more badge to get!”

“You better hurry,” she cautioned. “The Indigo League starts in ten days.”

“Ten days?!” Ryan’s heart nearly stopped. “Are you kidding?”

“Nope,” she smiled. “I’d run if I were you. The road back to Viridian City from here is long and treacherous.”

Ryan nodded, his eyes wide with fright, his forehead slick with sweat. Like a madman, he dashed out of the Celadon City Gym. There’s no time to spare. I have to get to Viridian City as soon as possible!


It was perhaps 5 o’clock when Ryan returned to the streets, where most of the fruit and vegetable venders were beginning to pack up and leave for the day. The crowds perusing the streets were not as large as they had been before. Thus, Ryan could get a good look down the streets, and that was how he found Logan, who was purchasing a few items from a food stand. When Ryan came upon him and tapped him on the shoulder, Logan jumped and dropped the fresh eggs he had bought, splattering them all over the cobbled streets.

He must’ve thought I was a ghost. Ryan grinned. Logan spun around yelling, “Hey, what’s the big idea…?!” Ryan hushed that sass mouth up real good when he showed the boy his new Rainbow Badge. “Wow, does that mean you have seven badges now?” Logan asked.

“Yep,” replied Ryan. “Just gotta go to Viridian City, and that’s it. The Indigo League’s in ten days, so we should get going. Are you ready?”

“Yeeeeeeah…” Logan said, stepping gingerly over the broken eggs. “Just let me get a few more things.”

“Why?”

“Fry!” Logan said with a sinister grin. “I’m going to make us scrambled eggs tomorrow morning!”

“Okay weirdo, but you do know that tomorrow we’re going back into the forest, right? Who eats scrambled eggs while camping?”

“I do!” Logan proclaimed. “Because I just saw Gordon Ramsay’s video on how to make them!”

“Oh okay. Well in that case, carry on.”

As Ryan watched Logan go crazy buying chives and butter and crème fraîche, something caught his eye. When he looked across the street, he couldn’t believe it. No way, he thought. That’s a human Snorlax if I ever saw one. Indeed it was: approaching Ryan, the boy could see, was the jovial Rahul, as large as Chris Christie (Rahul’s favorite politician in Ryan’s estimation), followed by Alex, the noblest trainer in all of Kanto, whose face was bowed and focused on the 3DS he held between his grubby little paws.

“Yo Ryan!” Rahul was smiling, and his goatee made him look much older than the 17 year old boy he actually was. He was as slick as a Seel on ice. “Long time no see.”

“Rahul!” Ryan went running over to him but didn’t hug him because that would be weird. “I thought we missed each other.”

“No way,” Rahul retorted. “We only got here yesterday. See?” He took out his own Rainbow Badge, and a quick ‘you show me yours and I’ll show you mine’ unfolded. Once it was over, Rahul said, “So I guess that means we’re going to Viridian now.”

“Yep,” said Ryan. “Erika told me we only have 10 days before the start of the Indigo League, so we better hurry.”

“Alright, and didja miss me?” spoke Alex in that deep voice of his. He didn’t even look up, so entransed with his game was he.

“Yeah, nice to see you again Alex.”

“He just got Fire Emblem: Fates. So he’s kind of busy, and by kind of, I mean all he does is play that game now,” Rahul told Ryan.

“Oh okay. So what have you guys been up to since we split up?”

Rahul looked at the sky, trying to remember. “Hmm… well, we stopped by a friend’s house to play Halo.”

“We usually do that when we’re together,” Alex explained.

“And you got the Soul Badge, right?”

“Oh yeah, Koga was a piece of cake,” Rahul said, licking his lips. And to think once upon a time, long ago, I struggled so much with that gym.

“Cool, so are you guys ready to leave?”

“No way,” Rahul said calmly, slapping his belly and stroking his goatee.

“Why not?”

“Derny Sandcastle’s giving a speech here tomorrow. I want to watch it.”

Ryan was more than a little confused. “Uh… who?”

“He’s running for president,” Alex muttered.

“Yeah, he’s the best! #Feelthesandbetweenyourlegs,” Rahul smiled. He took out his phone and pointed at the screen. “He’s the best. Look, I’ve posted 419 emotional documentaries about him on my Facebook wall!”

“I’m sure that would be very annoying to anyone who’s friends with you.”

Rahul shrugged. “I’m just speaking the #truth! If we don’t elect Derny Sandcastle, the world is just going to stay as corrupt as it always is! Hilaryous Rodhammius is just another corrupt politician. We can’t let her become the president of Kanto!” Rahul raised his sonic screwdriver to the sky. “I swear by the old gods and the new that I will never be cruel, nor cowardly, never give up, and never give in. We have to support Derny Sandcastle! He is the #1 My Little Ponyta fan! He promised me not only free rainbows and free tuition for Smogon University, but he swore he's going to give everyone a free Meowth once he's elected! Think about all the money you’ll get, Ryan… from now on those big corporations won’t be able to treat you like a slave anymore! Down with capitalism! Up with Marxism-Leninism! None of this is fantasy; Derny’s making my fantasies real!”

“I’ve always wanted a Meowth!” Ryan said carelessly. “How you like me now?!”

“He’s going to take all of the Meowths from Silph Co. and other big businesses and give them to all the poor and hardworking people, because it’s time this country took care of its poor and its downtrodden and no more Wall Street corruption! Pay Days for everyone!” Rahul screamed like Howard of House Dean.

“Alright, that’ll do,” Ryan said. “I get that you like that guy but no one else cares.”

“How dare you?!” Rahul yelled dramatically. “Derny Sandcastle is the future for Kanto! Without him we’re doomed! Either you’re with me or you’re my enemy!”

“Oh my sweet summer child…” Ryan said, shaking his head and folding his arms. “Only a Sith deals in absolutes.”

Alex played his game, perhaps oblivious to Rahul’s diatribe, perhaps not. He didn’t give off any sort of opinion either way.

“Look Rahul, it’s time we blow this joint. You gonna join us or not?”

Rahul was glued to his phone. “I just posted two more emotional documentaries about how Derny’s journey is as inspirational as a 1000 year old horoscope. It’s so moving. I cry everytime. Oh and I also had to post a new status for every city he’s lost, because clearly he can only lose when there’s voter fraud.”

If Rahul really was a commie, he’d share those rolls of blubber he has with the rest of us, not to mention his goatee. I want a goatee like that.

At that moment, Logan, his hands full of groceries from the farmer’s market, came running over. “Hey, what’s going on Ryan?”

“Oh yeah,” Ryan said, grabbing Logan’s shoulder and jerking him forward, into the group (and nearly making him drop his eggs again, but thankfully he didn’t otherwise this chapter would be even longer). “So this is Logan. He’s been traveling with me for a little more than a week now.”

“Are you another trainer?” Alex asked, briefly looking up from the game he was playing.

“Um no… not really. Well I was at first, but I wasn’t very good at being one!” Logan laughed nervously. “So I decided that instead I want to be a Pokémon Breeder!”

“Aaaaawesome!” Rahul said with that cheeky smirk of his that is so common on a Facebook photo of this guy. What a guy. “Derny needs plenty of breeders in his government to help redistribute more Pokémon to all people! Join him and vote for Derny Sandcastle this coming Tuesday!” Rahul said like a well-oiled drone (although that’s kind of overselling his abilities).

“That’s enough,” Ryan growled. “I don’t care about this Derny Sandcastle dude or the four hundred Facebook posts you make about him. Just shut up!!”

Out from his Poké Ball came Spectre with such suddenness that Rahul did not have time to react. “Use Hypnosis on him,” Ryan ordered. “I don’t want him to say another thing about ol’ Derny for the rest of our journey!”

“Haunter haunt!”

A moment later, Rahul fell like a sack of pennies, look at him go!

“Great,” Alex sighed. “Now who’s going to carry him?”

“I have just the Pokémon!” Ryan smiled, taking another ball out of his bag.

And so, as the day wore on and evening fast approached, the four trainers left Celadon City, making their way towards Viridian City. The only road back would lead them back through Saffron City and Pewter City, but there wasn’t time for that. If I look back, I am lost, Ryan knew, so forward he went. And, consequently, that meant that the group would be taking their shortcut to Viridian City through the deep and dark and mysterious and perhaps dangerous Viridian Forest once again. I hope we don’t see Dr. Kaku and his Growlithe again…

On they went, Ryan leading them, Logan just behind, rambling on about the restaurant-quality scrambled eggs he was going to make in the morning. Then came Alex, his face an inch from his 3DS as he played Fire Emblem: Fates as if there was no tomorrow. Ryan was happy that Alex at least had a hobby in his life now. And finally, snoring loudly from atop the back of NaVorro, was Rahul. Ryan liked him this way. There was no jive talk, no Doctor Who references, and no politics, because those kinds of discussions just make everyone uncomfortable. I’m glad we avoided that kind of stuff in this chapter so far.

But most of all, Ryan was happy because once, long ago, Rahul had complained that Tauros was not a useful Pokémon. He didn’t use the one that Ash had given him as a gift. Well what do have to say about that now? NaVorro was the only one capable of carrying such a load; without him, the sleeping Rahul would have been surely left in the street where he lay, inevitably to cause traffic for days to come until someone appeared with a Poké Flute to wake the sleeping beast. But Rahul won’t know that NaVorro saved him, Ryan thought sadly.

As they continued on, Ryan couldn’t help but think about how annoying Rahul had become. He hoped Rahul wouldn’t be like this when he woke up in the morning; he hoped Rahul wouldn’t act like such a fool anymore, to borrow a term from Alex’s vocabulary. Rahul’s favorite movie is Pacific Rim, Ryan reflected. I guess it’s no surprise that he’s fallen in love with Derny Sandcastle after all. But hopefully we won’t have to hear anymore about that.

Episode 29: The Great Khan

The sun was up, the sky was blue, and it was as hot as a Magmar’s summer home. Just my luck, Ryan thought miserably. The group trudged through the wild plains separating routes 16 and 2, feasting on Ryan’s jackfruit haul from the farmer’s market in Celadon City. Everyone got their hands sticky, but no one more so than Logan, who seemed to like the jackfruit more than even Ryan (and that’s saying something since Ryan thought jackfruit is the sixth best fruit all-time). Rahul had assured them he knew where he was going, but if there was one thing Ryan knew about Rahul, it was that the big man liked FemShep the best. Around them, Fearow and Spearow flew; bands of feral Pikachus scurried through the sparse oak trees, and Diglett holes were scattered everywhere like it was a warzone. So many Diglett… Ryan glanced about at the hundreds of holes popping up from below the weeds and the yellow grass. I wonder if they have a cave nearby.

Indeed they might have, but Ryan will never go there because that cave is one of the worst things in Pokémon Yellow.

“It’s, uh… this way!” Rahul said, fumbling with a map and pointing at a distant forest. Good to see him acting like his normal self again. That Hypnosis really did the trick.

“Are you sure?” Logan asked.

“Yeah, well like 90% sure, but still…”

Ryan shrugged. “That should be right. The Viridian Forest surrounds Viridian City, so if that’s the forest, it means we’re almost there! Besides, I’m dying to get in the shade. It’s so hot out here!”

Alex followed them, all whilst playing the heck out of Fire Emblem: Fates. The kid was almost as obsessed as Ryan had been one summer when he had beat Ratchet & Clank: Going Commando thirty-three times in the span of two weeks because there’s nothing else to do in North Carolina (but that is a story for another chapter).

When they reached the forest, Rahul licked his index finger and raised it to the sky before deciding which direction to take the group. This sorcery was akin to how Tauros can reproduce when there are only male members of the species. Ryan just hoped that the big man knew what he was doing, because if not, they were going to get lost in Viridian Forest again. And this time there’s no Michio Kaku to lead us out.

Inside the forest, the heat diminished, though the air was still unbearably humid. It smelled of pine needles and blackberry jam, giving the forest a pleasant, welcoming feeling. Ryan trained his Pokémon on random wild Pokés, while Rahul and Logan debated which doctor was the best (the 10th doctor is, for those wondering - Rahul and Logan almost went to blows over that, since Rahul really loves the 12th doctor).

It was not long afterwards that the group came upon a Bug Catcher, as Pokémon trainers are wont to do in Viridian Forest. He was a child of perhaps six years, sprinting about with a bug net. Too bad it wasn’t big enough to catch a Butterfree. The child was a portly fellow, and his body jiggled like jello on a hot afternoon when he ran and sang about a girl named Prudence (or perhaps it was the name of his Pokémon).

The boy eventually spotted the four travelers, though they were quite unhappy that he had. Better we don’t waste any time with this kid. The boy ran over to them, waving his bug net (which was quite empty) before skidding to a stop just in front of the group. From his pocket, he took out a half-eaten slice of custard tart and engorged himself upon it.

“Hey,” the kid said, his mouth full of pastry and cream. “Who are you? I’m Bug Catcher III, esquire. Wanna battle?”

“Not really,” Logan muttered.

Rahul was singing the theme song to Psych.

Ryan shook his head lazily.

“Yay, whoop!” the kid screamed, spittle running down his mouth. “New Pokémon, I choose you!”

The child threw three Pokémon balls, and out from each came a Kakuna. Curses. Now I have to battle him. If I want to be a real Pokémon Master, I can’t run from this challenge.

“Look what I caught,” Bug Catcher III, esquire boasted. “My first Pokémon!”

“That’s pretty sad if your first Pokémon is a Kakuna,” replied the teal-haired trainer. He stepped forward and took a Poké Ball from his pocket. Logan, Alex, and Rahul just stood there like logs in the mud, watching with various degrees of interest. “Go, Myrrah. Use Blizzard!”

If there’s one thing Pokémon battles had taught Ryan, it was that nothing was certain in life. He watched, in disbelief, as Myrrah’s Blizzard went screaming over the three unmoving Kakunas and sailed away into the cloudless azure sky above the treeline. 90% accuracy may as well mean 50%, for all my luck.

“Harden, Kakunas! Form a protective shield!”

“Blizzard again.”

This time, Blizzard did not miss, much to Ryan’s surprise, and the three Kakunas fainted. No worries, thought Ryan. Everything works out in the end. Myrrah screeched a cry of victory before returning to her ball, leaving Ryan face-to-face with the young Bug Catcher and his fainted Kakunas.

“Aw, no fair! I had three Pokémon.”

“Yeah kid, but they were awful Pokémon. Kakunas are pretty much immobile, and only have the attacks they had as Weedles. You should’ve tried Poison Sting or Bug Bite or something…”

The boy wasn’t listening. He was running in circles with his bug net. Doesn’t he know that Pokémon won’t just appear inside? He has to chase one down. He has to find one, see one… There were clearly no wild Pokémon anywhere nearby.

“I’ll trade you,” the kid whined when he ran of breath.

“Trade what?”

“My egg for your cool snot-rock Pokémon thing!”

Bug Catcher III, esquire produced a blue-green egg with yellow three-pronged spots coating it.

“Where did you get that?” asked Alex, looking up from his game for the briefest of moments.

“I found it somewhere.”

“Oh okay.”

“So what do you say?” the kid asked Ryan, eagerly.

“I’ve got a better idea,” Ryan replied, taking something out of his pocket to show the kid. “How about I trade you this for that egg?”

In his hand was the golden chicken bone, shining in the light of the afternoon.

“Aw, that’s not a Pokémon!” the kid complained. “No fair, I want a Pokémon!! A Pokémon, eyo ahh!”

Ryan wiggling the bone in front of the kid’s face. “It’s made of real gold. Just think, with this, you could buy any Pokémon you wanted. You’ll be rich! You could buy yourself a thousand Kakunas!”

There was wonder in the boy’s eyes. “A… thousand?!”

“Uh yeah, but don’t do that. That would be a serious waste of money. Buy yourself a Scyther or a Gengar or something cool.”

“Buy a Golem!” Alex shouted suddenly. “That was my favorite Pokémon when I was your age.”

The Bug Catcher reached for the bone, but Ryan pulled it back, just out of the shorter boy’s reach. “Nuh uh. First you have to agree to the deal. Do you want to trade the egg for the gold?” The Bug Catcher nodded vigorously. “Alright, let’s shake on it.”

Once the transaction was complete, the shirtless, lumpy boy beat his chest, screamed incoherently, and disappeared into the bushes, waving the golden chicken bone above his head like a club.

Ryan held the egg in his hand, feeling its weight. “What Pokémon is inside, Dex?”

“Scanning… no known Pokémon egg signature detected.”

“What?! Seriously? Come on you stupid machine. Your whole point is to be able to tell me about the Pokémon I find!”

“My apologies, kind and gentle master, but it appears Professor Oak did not program me with information on this species. It is either a new species of Pokémon or a species from a different region of the world.”

“Whoa… so this isn’t one of the Kanto type Pokémon?”

“That’s what I just said master. I can repeat myself again if you need me to.”

Ryan frowned and pocketed the Pokédex with the mouth of sass.

Walking over to Ryan, Alex said, “Was that real gold you gave the kid?”

“I dunno. I mean it was shiny and looked expensive. Could’ve just been gold paint for all I know.” I wouldn’t put it past that weird Colonel Sanders wannabe. “Hey Alex, you wouldn’t happen to know what Pokémon’s in here, would you?”

“Nope. But it better be a rare and powerful one if you want to break even in the trade.”

“I’m sure-”

At once, the bushes in front of the group began to rustle. Rahul, who had been playing with sticks in the dirt, stood up and scratched his goatee in puzzlement. Logan ran behind everyone else. Like there’d be any ghosts out here. Yet, when Ryan heard the bellow that followed the rustling, he too began to shake, and the thought of some spooky monster bursting out from the foliage seemed more likely than me ever finishing this story.

There it came, a hulking brute, dark-skinned, bruised, dirty, its eyes bloodshot, its pouch empty. The stuff of nightmares it was - as beautiful as a girl Ryan had once seen chasing a Dragonair, this beast looked thirsty enough to drink all of their blood.

“Kangaskhan, the Parent Pokémon,” Dex told the group. “Raises its young in its belly pouch. Won't run from any fight to keep its young protected.”

Logan’s voice came first. “Huh?! What’s a Kangaskhan doing this far away from the Safari Zone?”

“Its child is missing,” Alex observed stoically. “It’s probably looking for it.”

Rahul stepped forward and cleared his throat. “Sup, Kangaskhan, whaddya say you become my new Pokémon?”

The Kangaskhan thundered a searing response and charged the big man. He doesn’t look so big compared to that beast. Then Ryan, Alex, and Logan got to see Rahul fly; a ragdoll was he, screaming and spinning wildly and flying! And then he hit a tree and sunk into the bushes. Well that went about as poorly as it could have.

“Oh no!” Ryan’s heart was in his throat. He wondered which Pokémon would be the best counter to this raging beast. NaVorro? No, Thurnax! No, Aegon! I don’t know!!

Struck with indecision and terror, Ryan didn’t have enough time to take out a Poké Ball before a new challenger appeared to face the Kangaskhan. From the bushes to the left of the group came another hulking giant, though this one was not nearly as imposing. With its back to Ryan and the others, it seemed to be sent to protect the boys. Ryan instantly recognized what Pokémon it was, and he nearly laughed at the irony when Dex spoke:

“Snorlax, the Sleeping Pokémon. Will eat anything, even if the food happens to be a little moldy. It never gets an upset stomach.”

“Where did that come from?” Alex spoke.

Logan was wailing. “From the trees! Help, there’s Pokémon everywhere! I don’t want to be in the forest anymore! I want to go home! Aah!”

“Snorlax, use Body Slam,” came a voice from behind the group.

With lethargy, the Snorlax growled and rumbled forward, jumping into the air and slamming its massive tummy down upon the head of the charging Kangaskhan. The Kangaskhan screamed in pain and fury, causing nearby Spearow and Pidgeys to take flight from the trees. The Kangaskhan won’t get up if it’s hit again.

That was why, it appeared, the Kangaskhan decided at that moment to let out one last bellow before retreating into the thick forest. The Snorlax remained standing between the boys and the forest, waiting for its foe to return for another smackdown. The three trainers spun around in unison to see who had been commanding the Snorlax.

No way… all the way out here? What’s he doing in the middle of the forest? Ryan was beaming. “Sup Quinny,” he said, walking forward, his arms outstretched to either side, as if wanting to hug his best friend (but he had no plans on actually doing that).

Quinny had curly reddish brown hair, large brown eyes, stood a few inches taller than Ryan, and wore a blue shirt and black dress pants. He was smiling coyly. “Sorry about that,” he said at last. “That’s Shelby, or as I like to call her, Mama Kanga. She’s been on a rampage ever since her child went missing. Someone took it, and now she fears all people. That’s why she attacked you.”

“Do you have any idea who stole the baby Kangaskhan?” Logan’s voice was full of despair.

“Yep. I’ve been trying to rescue her child for more than a week, but the guy who has it… let’s just say it’ll take more than one person to break into his castle and get past his defenses. Trust me, I know. Come on, my place isn’t far from here. Let’s regroup, and I’ll tell you what I know. I assume you guys want to help me with this problem?”

“We do,” Ryan insisted. “We’ll find that baby Kangaskhan, yeah!”

“Alright. Let’s go.”

And off they went, Quinny leading them the opposite way the Kangaskhan ran, into the deep forest. And no one even remembered that Rahul still lay in the bushes, probably dazed or unconscious. Oh well.


“Why are you out here? Last time I saw you, you were still living in Acapulco with your parents and your sister.”

Quinny shrugged. “I got into gardening.”

“That’s random.”

“Anyways, I moved out here and bought a greenhouse, and I’ve been growing peppers and jackfruit ever since.”

Quinny was of course Ryan’s best friend, the guy Ryan grew up with in his hometown of Acapulco. I haven’t seen him since before I started my Pokémon journey. I guess a lot has changed since then. Quinny led them up onto a hill where a sprawling greenhouse stood, surrounded by jackfruit trees (many of them were quite young, but a few were just beginning to grow their famously sweet, spiky fruit. The sugary fragrance of jackfruit drifted through the sweltering air, mixing with the sharper scents of the various strains of hot peppers.

Around Quinny’s greenhouse were stacks of cardboard boxes from Amazon.com. There must’ve been a thousand of them. That’s just like Quinny. He’s always buying himself treats. I don’t think he can go even one day without getting himself another gift.

“Look at this,” Quinny told the group as they passed by one of his pepper beds. “Got a ghost pepper! Pretty sweet, huh?”

“Are you gonna try to eat that?” Ryan asked.

“I’m going to extract the flesh, since the seeds are where the real heat is,” lil ol’ Quinny explained, “and then put that into a salsa mix.”

“Okay, whatever floats your boat, man.”

“Look at this,” Quinny said, taking out a yellow canister that had a skull and bones on it. “Roach spray. I made it myself. I’m at war with them. Those little buggers are everywhere. I can’t sleep at night; they’re climbing up the walls!”

“I think your fear of cockroaches is irrational, but okay.”

“You don’t get it. They’re the most disgusting creatures ever! I’m going to get rid of them all with my newly-created Quinny Special!”

“What’s in it?”

“Well, there’s some lavender and some napalm.”

“Are you serious?” Quinny nodded, as if napalm was something completely natural for him to put in bug spray. “You are a silly goose, my good sir. You are amongst the silliest of gooses.”

Quinny ignored Ryan’s jabs. “And I’ve been researching thermite too. That might be better against the roaches.”

Ryan’s face lit up. “You could try super thermite paint!”

Quinny looked at Ryan as if he was a retired conspiracy nut who was also a former fighter, governor, and Navy SEAL. The sun was bearing down on them, and Ryan was coated in sweat. I need to get out of this heat. A nap sure would be nice. The two decided to get some water from inside the greenhouse and admire all of Quinny’s plants (Ryan found that he was a little less than half-interested in Quinny’s sudden turn to being a master gardener. Being a Pokémon Master seemed so much more thrilling, so much more interesting, but he didn’t bring that up to his best friend.).

While Alex and Logan had peeled away like leaves from a kale plant, perhaps to inspect Quinny’s pepper beds or to harvest some jackfruit, Quinny poured himself a Red Bull and sat down in a lounge chair under the shade of his tallest jackfruit tree to decompress.

“You don’t even have electricity out here,” Ryan complained. “How are you surviving?”

“I know,” replied Quinny with sudden hebetude. “Remember back in the day, we’d spend five hours trying to beat Regret or Great Journey on Legendary?”

Ryan smiled. “You dare to interrupt my sermon?!” he wheezed in his oldest of old men voices.

“Your very existence offends me, demon,” Quinny spoke coolly, sipping on his much-needed caffeine. “Speaking of which, you never told me why your nickname was ‘Sour’, back in the day.”

“Oh yeah.” Ryan racked his brain, trying to remember. “I think… well, it’s probably because I like sweet and sour sauce a whole lot.”

“I thought it was because you were a pessimist.”

“That’s true too,” Ryan replied. “I don’t believe any of your jackfruit trees will live long enough to fruit.”

“Nice. Some of them already have, so…”

Ryan brushed off that comment as he would a common mosquito. “Well, if you’re going to ask me about my nickname, where did yours come from? Is there a really cool story about it?”

“Not really. My parents called me ‘Peanut’ when I was little, so that’s what I used. The adventures of Peanut and Sour…” murmured poor tired Quinny. He sat back in his chair and drained his drink. “Those were the days.”

The two continued to reminisce about the old days until Alex returned. Evidently, his 3DS was out of power, for he seemed serious now. “When are we going to find that guy who stole the baby Kangaskhan?”

“Oh yeah, him.” Quinny sighed and leaned back further in his chair, closing his eyes. “I call him King Roach. He lives up on Melancholy Hill. Y’know, the one with a plastic tree? There’s a fortified castle on top of the hill, and tons of mines and booby traps surrounding it. It’s impossible to get inside, trust me. He has cameras and a whole army of Pokémon to do his bidding. He’s a poacher, and he’s been working around these parts for years. I’ve tried to stop him, but it hasn’t been working out too well… King Roach is a smart little bugger, and he’s got some really powerful Pokémon.”

“Well come on, let’s go see the place,” Ryan said. “If we’re going to break in, we need to do some recon first!”

Quinny sighed again and cracked open a second Red Bull. “I’m tired, but you guys can go. The hill’s that way,” he said, pointing east. “You can’t miss it. There aren’t any real trees around it.”

That’s just like Quinny. His energy gets sapped faster than Alex’s 3DS when a new Fire Emblem comes out. “Very well, Quinny. We’ll see what we can do,” Ryan said gravely. “Make sure you drink lots of Red Bull to recover your energy. You’ve had a hard day already.”

And so off they went, Ryan, Alex, and Logan. Indeed, it did not take them long to find Melancholy Hill. The hill was so far removed from the rest of the surroundings that it seemed like someone had torn away a section of the forest and thrown down a medieval castle in its place. Around the castle, at the base of the hill, a barbed wire fence wrapped around the entire place in a circle, aside from the front where a barred gate stood. On the fence posts were ‘Do Not Enter’ signs and, paradoxically, ‘Enter at Your Own Risk’ signs, along with lightning bolt insignias below them. I wonder who King Roach really is.

Logan threw a rock at the fence, and at once, a mine exploded at the exact spot where the rock hit the ground. “Wow, this poacher guy’s serious!”

Ryan looked up at the imposing castle, noticing how so many of the walls were covered in cameras. There’s no way we’re getting inside there without him knowing. We can’t sneak up on King Roach.

“This place is heavily fortified,” said Alex whilst eating dumplings with his chopsticks and leaning up against a tree. Ryan thought he looked so cool. If he keeps acting like that, I’ll start calling him Big Green.

“Yeah, I don’t know how we’re supposed to get inside.”

Ryan smirked, taking out a Poké Ball. I’m about to call in the submarines. “Don’t worry. I’ve got an idea. Go, Spectre!”

Out came Ryan’s Haunter from his ball. “Haunter, haunt!” he wheezed enthusiastically.

“そうですね, buddy. Now I have a mission for you, and it’s super important.”

“Haunter.”

“I want you to sneak into that castle up there and find the poacher who took the baby Kangaskhan. See if you can rescue the poor baby Pokémon and bring it back here. Can you do that?”

“Haunt!” Spectre barked before turning invisible and floating off towards Melancholy Hill.

A lonely plastic tree stood next to the castle. I wonder what that’s for. Why doesn’t the poacher like trees? From a nearby loudspeaker, low, communist-style music was playing at an upbeat tempo. Ryan thought the tune was kind of catchy. While the three boys waited for Haunter to return, they reveled in the sweltering heat, even under the shade of the nearest tree (which was quite a ways away from the hill). A warm wind blew. A Spearow squawked and took flight. Ryan could taste habanero in the air.

“May Pagan’s light shine upon you all!” came a warm female voice from the nearest loudspeaker.

“Huh, what was that?”

“Pagan Kim,” Alex observed. “I knew him. He used to work at Smogon University. But he went rogue and disappeared, and no one’s seen him in years. He was an expert in Pokémon breeding habits and habitats. I don’t know if it’s the same guy out here, or why he became a poacher if it is him.”

The boys waited for many a minute, all of them arguing over who is the second best fire Pokémon aside from Charizard. Ryan thought it was Rapidash; Logan thought it was Flareon; and Alex thought it had to be Ninetails (in fact, he even though Ninetails was stronger than Charizard). The discussion almost became as heated as the Doctor Who one had when the door to the castle swung open and a man in a sparkling pink suit and dyed blond-gelled hair came running out, shrieking at the top of his lungs. He looked like an airdancer with some mad moves.

He ran all the way down the hill, past a manatee statue (Ryan named the beast Hugh, in his mind), and fumbled at the gate with a keychain before bolting out across the barren mine-field. The man began to wail as mines blew up around him, covering his precious head as he ran towards the treeline.

“That’s him.” Alex drew a Poké Ball. Ryan and Logan followed his lead.

When Pagan Kim came to the forest, the three boys were waiting for him. Alex let out his Jolteon; Ryan brought out Aegon; and Logan released his Chansey. The three Pokémon rushed towards the man in the pristine pink suit, but he jumped over them, by like five feet, as if he were an Olympic hurdler. What the heck is up with this guy?! Mr. Kim looked like a god, sparkling in his semi-effeminate elegance as he sailed through the air.

Pagan Kim landed gracefully and faced the Pokémon trainers and their Pokémon with his back to the forest. Beside Ryan, Haunter materialized, cackling and grinning and having a swell old time. He must’ve scared the Pokéheck out of Mr. Kim over there.

“Boys, boys, what’s the meaning of this?” Pagan asked calmly, his voice deep and soothing. He ran a hand through his hair. “Don’t tell me you wanted to break into my home? That would be so… unfortunate, if that was the case. Come on, speak up!”

“You stole a baby Kangaskhan,” Alex spoke. “Give it back to its mother and stop poaching the other Pokémon in this forest, and we’ll leave you alone.”

Pagan Kim laughed and dusted off his suit. “Really now, that’s it? Alright, okay, okay. You want the baby Kangaskhan; I get it. But it’s quite extraordinary… you went to all this trouble over a little baby Pokémon?” The man made a face, mocking the three, and then took a Poké Ball out of a pocket from the inside of his suit. “That’s cute. Funny, really. I didn’t think anyone out here cared. You want this Kangaskhan back?” he asked, waving the Poké Ball, “then come and get it. But I warn you, I have a legendary Zapdos here in my other Poké Ball,” he said, pulling out another ball - its top half was colored purple with pink bubbles on either side of a large ‘M’ printed on the middle of the purple backdrop. “And you wouldn’t want to get on his bad side.”

He’s bluffing, Ryan thought. “I don’t believe you! And besides, even if you do have a legendary Pokémon, we outnumber you!”

“Numbers aren’t everything, boy!” The man’s face lit up with a cheeky grin.

“We’ll attack him all at once. That way his Zapdos won’t be able to hit all of our Pokémon before we knock it out,” Alex whispered.

“Alright, sounds like a good idea.”

“Fools!” Pagan Kim spat, holding the ball with Zapdos in it in his left hand and the Kangaskhan’s Poké Ball in his right. “You don’t know what you’re getting yourselves into-”

From behind, in the foliage, came a scream. Pagan Kim did not even have time to turn around to see what it was when Mama Kanga came sprinting out from the bushes and hit him so hard with her Mega Punch attack that she sent him flying high (as a kite) into the air. Ryan heard the man scream like a little girl, his voice rising to a triple falsetto as he flew off into the distance, towards the burning summer sun, before disappearing in an expected twinkle. Man, that was brutal.

There, riding on the mother Kangaskhan’s back was Rahul, the big man, the glorious fourth member of Ryan’s crew. He dismounted from her neck and ran over to where Pagan had been standing. In the man’s place was now a regular Poké Ball - he must’ve dropped it when the Kangaskhan hit him with her vicious attack. Rahul picked it up and let the baby Kangaskhan out of the ball, allowing the scared creature to reunite with its mother. It was a nice, cute scene - the mother and her baby Kangaskhan reuniting - and they cawed and cooed and cried, but Ryan couldn’t focus on that, since Rahul used exactly that moment to shout:

“Are you serious?!” He stroked his goatee like an annoyed Meowth. “You guys just left me in the forest like that?!”

Alex folded his arms. “I guess we forgot about you.”

“Come on, Alex, seriously?!”

“Don’t worry Rahul, everything worked out in the end,” Ryan said, trying to console his fellow trainer. “And besides, you helped take out that poacher guy.”

“Ugh, you guys are hopeless,” Rahul said, shaking his head. He looked away from his friends and off towards the Kangaskhan and her child. The mother was singing sweetly to her youngling, holding it in her arms, tears running down both of their faces. Ryan couldn’t help but feel moved seeing them back together, even though he didn’t know much about these Pokémon. “See how much you like it if you’re the one that gets left behind next time!”

That incendiary remark broke the teal-haired boy out of his thoughts. “I’ll never be left behind because I’m the protagonist,” Ryan reminded Rahul, and Rahul had nothing he could say about that.


As the sun began to set, Ryan and the others returned to Quinny’s estate, where far too many peppers grew. He picked some cilantro he saw growing in one of the beds and ate it, wondering why it didn’t taste soapy to him. The others told Quinny about Pagan and what had happened, and Quinny promised to go to the castle in the morning and let all of the Pokémon free that Pagan Kim had poached (if there were any left in there).

“Pewter City’s like half a mile north,” Quinny said. “You should stop by there and then take Route 2 down to Viridian. That’ll be faster than traveling through the wild forest. I know Route 2 is also surrounded by the forest, but it’s a heckuva lot easier to navigate, and there’s a real path to follow.”

“Alright, see ya Quinny,” Ryan said. The others said their goodbyes too; then, they began to walk north to Pewter City, but Ryan himself stayed put, not yet joining them.

“Yeah… nice seeing you man. So you’re going to become a Pokémon trainer? I thought your dad didn’t want you to.”

“Well, he didn’t,” Ryan admitted. That had been the only reason the boy hadn’t been allowed to become a trainer at the usual age of 10. “I think that’s because of his own experience. I heard him tell my mom once that he wished he had become a businessman instead of a trainer. I think he’s just disappointed that he only won a single tournament match.”

“Well good luck. If you make it into the tournament, I’ll see if I can get up there to watch you battle.”

“I will,” Ryan promised. “I just need one more badge and I’ll be in. But I only have nine days to get it.”

“You better hurry then.”

“Yeah. Well, see you around, dude.”

“See ya.”

And off Ryan went, leaving his best friend behind. The sun would soon sink behind the horizon; they had very little daylight left. We should get to Pewter at least, before nightfall. I don’t want to sleep in a tent again. The day was becoming cooler again, much to Ryan’s delight. He thought over what they had accomplished that day, and thought that he’d done pretty well. That Haunter idea sure paid off. I wonder if that Pagan dude was bluffing or if he really did have a legendary Pokémon. The thought reminded Ryan of the Mew Team Rocket had captured. His nails dug into his palms as he remembered the look that Pokémon had given him as it was being carted away. I have to find it. I have to set it free. Team Rocket won’t get away with this. Just like Pagan, they’ll feel my wrath in due time.

“It’s okay, Rahul,” Logan was saying, breaking Ryan out of his thoughts. “You did everything you could.”

“Yeah, but I really wanted a Kangaskhan. They look awesome. I thought since I helped, y’know… helped her find her baby…”

“You saved her baby, but the Kangaskhan did not want to be caught. She’d rather live out here in the wild,” Alex observed. “Some Pokémon are just like that.”

Yeah, Ryan thought, thinking of the Scyther he had met in Pallet Town. I wish I could meet him again so that maybe I could convince him to join my team…

“Cheer up, Rahul,” Ryan began, “we’re almost to Viridian City, and we’re going to make great time even with you getting us lost!”

Rahul’s face contorted into a frown. “Really, Ryan? I didn’t get us lost.”

“We were supposed to be going to Viridian, not Pewter. You led us way too far north.”

“I did not!”

“Easy, you two,” Alex said. “Look, I can see Pewter City in the distance!”

Indeed, there it was: Ryan could make out the shape of the roof of the famous Pewter City museum just above the treeline. They would be there soon. And I’ll get my last badge soon, he promised himself. At once, Ryan felt immensely tired, like a bout of Quinny’s fatigue had hit him hard as a mama Kangaskhan. He wanted nothing more than to collapse on a bed and drift back into the dream world.

A twig snapped to the left of them, where the Viridian Forest spilled out of Route 2. Ryan paused for a moment, looking over at where he had heard the sound. He swore, for a moment, that he saw a pair of eyes watching him. I’ve seen those eyes before, he realized, and a cold shiver rippled down his spine. But where?

“H-hello?!” Ryan’s voice was timid, but loud enough to cause the others to stop walking and look over at him. The eyes vanished, yet Ryan stood there for a few more minutes, still as a statue, trying to find any other sign of the creature that had locked eyes with him. When he was sure it had gone, he turned to the others and shook his head.

“It’s nothing. Let’s go.”

In the distance, as the sun kissed the horizon, a Growlithe could be heard howling, its lonesome call carrying across the plains like a ghost on the wind.

Episode 30: Scyther No Scything

He put on his fake mustache and Aegon’s monocle and strode into the Pokémon Center calm as a cucumber. Easy laddie, he told himself, this is a foolproof plan. Inside, a ginger-affro’d man was playing the game of coin at the nearest ATM. A few Chanseys strode about, performing menial tasks. A blonde-haired girl with rosy cheeks and a white-and-green dress was standing at a nearby counter, paying for some things he couldn’t see. I’ve seen her before, he thought. But I can’t remember from where. Across the hall, behind the most beautiful cash register in the world, Nurse Joy stood beaming. The light seemed to radiate from her body. Ryan’s palms began to sweat.

He tip-toed up to the counter like a mischievous Haunter and cleared his throat. “Ahem…”

“May I help you, sir?” Nurse Joy said sweetly.

“Uh, yeah, you can. I’m the radical and real Jesse Ventura, and I do believe you have my poor Sandslash in your possession.”

“Oh, that’s you, is it?” The nurse put her hands on her cheeks in a low-key sign of shock. “We received that Pokémon weeks ago! What… what do you have to say for yourself, Mr. Ventura?!”

“Sorry ‘bout that,” Ryan said in his roughest, gruffiest tone (his gruff was the stuff of legend). “I’m here now! Haha, well, I guess that’s all that matters.”

“How do I know you’re really Jesse Ventura, and this is your Pokémon, hmmm?” Nurse Joy asked, producing a Poké Ball from thin air.

“I… uh, well, uh…” Ryan’s mind went blank. His little heart was going like a Raticate feasting on rare candy. “O-oh, I’m a fighter, a mayor, and a gravy Seel!”

“Oh, it is you, marvelous!” this Nurse Joy hummed. A few moments later, she finished with Sandslash’s paperwork and handed his Poké Ball to Ryan. The boy took it quickly, thanked the beautiful lady, and speed-walked outta there. Once he was outside, he ran over to the edge of town, where the paved streets turned to dirt paths and more rugged terrain, sharper rocks, and taller trees (they looked like sentinels, tall and lonely, in Ryan’s estimation), and let the Sandslash out of its ball.

Confused, the creature cowered, its claws raised over its face to shield it from the bright light of day. “Hey buddy!” Ryan said enthusiastically, crouching down next to the beast. The Sandslash squealed and ran away, behind a nearby bush. He doesn’t trust me. He remembers.

“Sandslash!” Ryan called, moving slowly towards the bushes. “I know you know who I am. I’m the one who saved you, remember? Your old master abandoned you.”

“Slash…!” the animal hissed.

“He ran off into the jungle! He didn’t care about you at all. We got you to the Pokémon Center all healed up and left you there for Jesse, but he never came back.”

From between curled green-and-brown leaves, thin as paper, the Pokémon said, “Sand… slash, sand, slash slash!”

“You’ve been in that Pokémon Center for weeks! He’s never coming back for you. I took you because… well, because I thought you would get bored spending all of your life in a Poké Ball! You can join my team or relax at my parents’ home with my other extra Pokémon. It’s your choice really. I just wanted to make sure you were free again.”

“S-slash?!” The Sandslash jumped out of the bushes, coming within a few inches of Ryan. For a moment, he thought it might attack him. And then its posture lowered. “Sandslash.” Its voice came defiant that time.

“Ye-yeah…” the boy said with little confidence. “So do you want to fight with me or go to the retirement home?”

“Slash.” Pure determination. I like that.

“Very good, buddy,” Ryan smiled. “Welcome to the Dream Team.”

“Sandslash!”

“I’ll have to show you to the others! They’ll be waking up soon. But first, I need to give you a name.”

“Sand?”

“Jesse never gave you a name, I suspect.”

“Sandslash, sand.”

“All of my other Pokémon have names,” Ryan explained. “You gotta have one too. It’s just a part of this whole story and stuff.”

The Sandslash sighed. “Slash…!” He’s a bit frustrated, but he’ll allow it. He knows I’m his new master. He won’t backsass me anymore.

“Alright, Dexy baby!” Ryan said cheerfully, taking out his little pocket monster, “Are you ready for my new Sandslash’s name?”

“As ready as I will ever be, kind and gentle master.”

“Excellent. You’re a fierce-looking beast. Sleek, lethal, quick,” Ryan mused, pacing around the Sandslash. “And you have some mean claws on ya, whooo mama! I think I know what I’ll call you.”

“Slash?!” the Pokémon muttered in uncertainty.

“You can be Wallabi Cornrow McGee,” Ryan said mildly.

“Sandslash!” He’s a little angry now. Good.

“Easy boy,” Ryan said coolly, walking up to his Sandslash. Kneeling and (lightly) petting the beast’s quills, he whispered. “That’s not your real name buddy, don’t worry. Your real name is Skorge. Now go catch me a wild Pokémon.”

With a bark, Skorge took to all fours and ran off into the tall grass to the side. Out there, an older trainer, a gentleman clearly past fifty (he would surely not live much longer; fifty years is a really long time; it would be a mercy if he could get it all over with quite soon), was struggling against a crowd of wild Pokémon. “Don’t go into the tall grass!” he was wailing, his voice hoarse and broken. “Don’t go into the tall grass! Don’t go into the tall grass!!”

But into the tall grass, Skorge went, fearless as a Pidgeot in flight. A tussle broke out in that grass, as loud and vicious as Ryan had ever beheld. A moment later, a bruised and dirt-covered Pikachu came scrambling out of the grass and dashed down the dirt path in a panicked cloud of dust towards Ryan. It never looked at him, but was huffing and puffing and stealing glances over its back for its assailant. And soon did Skorge appear, bursting out of the grass with energy that had been pent-up for weeks. He chased down the Pikachu like a crazed, hungry beast until he jumped into the air and came down on the little yellow rodent, stopping them a few feet away from Ryan.

He’s good. He’s very good. Jesse had a high-level Pokémon on his hands. Shame he was a terrible person. This little guy deserved better. “Well done, Skorge!” Ryan beamed, pulling out a spare Poké Ball. “And welcome to the club, Gumi!” Ryan called after the exhausted and semi-lucid Pikachu, who still lay in the middle of the dusty road. I hope Dex is keeping track, he thought, but Ryan was too lazy to take the Pokédex out of his pocket and point it at the Pikachu. “I’ll see what you’ve got after the Indigo League.” No time to test out my new buddies before then. I need to focus on the team I have. Of course, Ryan had a slot missing - the slot for my Abra, he thought angrily. Now I don’t know who should go there. Reek? Swirlie Whirlie? Maybe Skorge. That’s what he meant to find out, anyways. So far, the teal-haired boy was impressed with his newest Pokémon.

The Sandslash was sitting loyally, staring at his new master. “Return, Skorge,” Ryan said calmly, and the Pokémon leapt into his ball eagerly. This is good, he thought.

Coming to the edge of Viridian City, Ryan found the path down Route 2, which led through the claustrophobic, overgrown Viridian Forest. And beyond, my last test… before the real tests. Gulping, Ryan began to pace. He felt jittery and lightheaded. It could happen today. I could get my eighth badge today, if we make good time. Looking around, Ryan saw no sign of Alex, Logan, or Rahul, let alone any other people. Route 2 was empty. It is pretty early.

So it came as a surprise when an elderly man stumbled out from the grass nearby the entrance to Pewter City. He looked like a zombie, all covered in dirt and scabs, and Ryan felt unease when he looked upon the man.

“Frodo dobo?” the man asked Ryan hopefully.

The boy’s heart loosened, and he sighed internally. “Obi dobo,” he said promptly.

“Ah, obi dobo and mercedes dobo,” the man said cheerfully. “Now trade me your Abra for my Mr. Mime,” he scowled, producing a tiny, undernourished Mr. Mime like a puppet. He was holding the Mr. Mime as if to show it what a man could do. That thing looks like it’s from the Original Child Clown Outlet.

“No thanks,” Ryan replied. “I don’t have an Abra.”

“Oh. Obi dobo Franz Mchobo.”

And I wouldn’t trade my Abra to you even if I did still have him. The boy walked away from the crazed elder and took up a seat on the wooden wall snaking around the outskirts of Pewter City, low and made of old, rotting pine. He wondered what Abra was up to now, and how things might’ve been different with his first Pokémon back on his team. I’d be stronger with him.

Sighing, the teal-haired trainer turned his gaze to the looming Viridian Forest ahead. It looked thick enough to swallow him whole. And if he got lost in there again… no one will find me or know what happened to me, or know what I have accomplished so far. He thought of his mother’s disappointment, and his father’s anger. “He should never have become a trainer,” his father would say at that, Ryan knew, “he was never meant to be one! He wasn’t ready!” And don’t forget that I’m too old. And not smart enough, and too distracted…

A light flush spread across the boy’s face. He took out his Pokédex and said, “Hey Dexy, what’s the type specialty of the next gym?”

“Searching… gym found in range,” the Pokédex droned. “Viridian Gym. Flying Gym. Gym Leader: Dylan, a famed young trainer from Kanto who won the Indigo League, but lost to the Elite 4 five years ago.”

“Elite 4?”

“The Elite 4 and their leader, known as the Indigo League Champion, are five experienced Pokémon Masters whom the League Winner must challenge to battle immediately after winning the Indigo League tournament. Each member of the Elite 4 specializes in a single Pokémon type and fights with five Pokémon. All of them must be challenged in a row, without switching out Pokémon or using healing items. The Champion fights with six Pokémon and represents Kanto as the region’s greatest Pokémon Master.”

“Huh.” Ryan’s breath frosted in front of his face. “Never knew that.”

“It’s okay wise master, you are young and noble, and you haven’t yet had time to learn all there is to know in the world.”

“You’re a passive-aggressive little robutt aren’t you?” the boy asked, annoyance in his voice. “But I s’pose you aren’t wrong…”

The wannabe Pokémon Master scowled and stared off into the distance, where the sun was just beginning to rise from behind a soot-black horizon into a sky of pale gold and rippling sapphire. This is gonna be a long day.


This time Rahul brought a map. It’s a mistake making him the navigator again, Ryan knew, but he didn’t say anything. Behind them, Alex and Logan were locked in deep conversation already.

“But that doesn’t explain why you’re so afraid of ghosts,” Alex observed.

“They just freak me out, okay?”

“Oh, okay.” Alex’s face was stern and like stone.

Logan’s voice rose in anger. “Hey, why are you so interested in my story anyways?”

Alex shrugged emotionlessly. “Some things don’t add up.”

Ahead, Rahul was studying the map like a studious individual. When he walked, a sloshing sound came from him, most likely from around his midsection. He was holding the map real close to his face, as if he could see nothing and knew nothing. And he’s probably going to be my opponent in the last round of the tournament… if I make it that far. The big man led them up a hill, off the path, and soon they were trekking through the tall grass like a group of four pioneers. It was horrible. Good thing we bought loads of Diet Repel at the Pokémon Center, otherwise this would take forever. But forever this must not take, for I have a lot more that I need to get into in this chapter.

When they reached the crest of the hill, Ryan could hear a thick voice coming from the distance, like bug spray on the wind. The forest thinned around the hills, and more light was getting in around there. And that was when Ryan saw him: a big man, and round, bronze-skinned and covered in muscles. His hair was drawn up in a spiky black mohawk; his face was painted with queer symbols; his suit consisted of white shorts, orange flip-flops, and a fancy button shirt with palm trees and fish.

It was, surprisingly, not that man that interested Ryan. When he saw the man, he also saw the green blurs behind him. Scythers. A swarm of ‘em. The boy could see three Scythers from his position. What’s that pineapple doing with them?

“You sucka like die, den go dead, come, come, join me!” the man boomed, his voice shaking with his thick Hawaiian accent.

The man’s Pokémon shot forward leally to attack some unknown enemy. “Let’s go!” Ryan said to the others. “I wanna see what’s going on!”

The four quickened their pace, running up to the larger man a few moments later. By that time, his three Scythers had returned to him, unharmed. Down the grassy hill behind them, their defeated foes lay, but Ryan couldn’t quite see who they were… even when he tried standing on his tip-toes!!

“Who goes dere?!” the man grunted, turning to face them.

“My name’s Ryan, and these are the people who follow me around!”

“Hello, Ryan, and secondary characters,” the man mumbled. “Dey call me Jun Baba-o.”

“Oh.”

“You gotta problem wit’ dat, ey sucka?” the man said aggressively.

“No sir, not me,” Ryan assured him. Great, he’s crazy, just like every other adult I’ve ever met. “So what are you and your Scythers doing in the middle of the forest?”

“Dese not my Scythers,” the man said gravely. “A man cannot own a Pokémon. A Pokémon is as smart as any person. Dey belong to no one, like people. I give respect to Pokémon and treat dem as I would treat any person.”

“Right, okay, you don’t own them. But they’re fighting for you…”

“Yah brah, I got some dat fight for me when dey want. Dese Scythers been helpin’ me clear out all da Team Rocket suckas I come across. Dey understand da fight we wagin’, brah.”

“Team Rocket?!”

“Da very same.” Jun Baba-o wiped his brow and took out some barbeque pork ribs from his jacket and feasted on them like a starved Mankey, getting the grease and sauce all over his face and clothes and hands. “Dey just started appearin’! Dunno why.”

“Have you seen a blue Mew with any of them?” the young trainer asked hopefully.

“Blue Mew?” Jun Baba-o gave Ryan a strange look. “Dere ain’t no blue Mew, far as I know brah.”

“Right, and you would know.”

“Sucka please.”

“Right, okay. In that case,” Ryan looked over to Rahul, who was munching on a chicken kabob and dripping its dark sauce all over the dirt path, “can you please let us get past you so we can make our way to Viridian City? We have urgent business there.”

“Be my guest, brah, but see for yourself, eh? They blockin’ the path. Why dontcha help me clear ‘em out first, eh?”

That they were, the mad tricksy devils. Now he could see the two unconscious men in dark clothes with those unmistakable huge ‘R’ signs plastered on their torsos, red as blood. And across the path, from the tall grass, from behind trees and bushes and rocks and streams, more Team Rocket grunts slouched out and came forward to challenge those who stood on the hill.

Team Rocket’s the worst, and also I hate them. “Alright, Aegon, Thurnax, NaVorro, Spectre, Myrrah, and Skorge… come on out!” And so Ryan’s six Pokémon showed themselves. “Go destroy those Team Rocket hooligans for me, alright?”

“Cloyster!”

“Slash!!”

“Brawawasawa!”

“Nieieaeeaalahahalaha!”

“Brrrrrrrmppph!!”

“Haunter haunt. Haunter, haunter haunter haunter, haunter haunt. Haunter haunter haunter, haunter haunter haunter haunter haunter,” Spectre bellowed, with the passion of a boy playing Ophelia in 1605.

“Go get ‘em boys… and girl rock snot… thing.”

Before Ryan was the twisting path through the next part of the forest, and on it, around it, standing in the bushes and tall grass and hanging from the trees, were the Team Rocket trainers. Lackeys and captains and officers and grunts were they, all attired in black-and-white slick outfits with those big red ‘R’s emblazoned on their chests. Five dozen of them, if not more, awaited Ryan and the others, and he realized that his side was outnumbered.

“No way…” Alex breathed, upon running up to Ryan to get a better view.

“This is insane!” Rahul chortled. “There’s so many of them.”

“My dad named a turkey man his god, and maybe right now I should start praying!” Logan moaned, shivering and shaking and sweating like a boy about to die.

“Time to join the fray!” Ryan shouted at them, pointing to his own Pokémon, swarming around the nearest Team Rocket foes, who were just beginning to take out their Raticates, Wheezings, and Golbats in defense. Come on guys, I know you’re strong enough to beat those crummy Pokémon.

Rahul’s Dragonair, Rhyhorn, Kadabra, Charizard, Lapras, and Magneton rushed forward to join Ryan’s warriors. So too did Alex’s Starmie, Tauros, Exeggutor, Golem, Charmeleon, and Jolteon. Even Logan’s two Eevees, Ditto, Squirtle, Scyther, and Chansey were out, ready to fight. Then came the three Scythers loyal to Jun. That one Scyther in the middle looks familiar, Ryan decided. There was a scar going down his face, along his left eye, and there was a scruff of fur around its neck, giving it a fearless, feral appearance. The Scyther I knew didn’t have that scar… and I never noticed his fur like that before… but, this one looks like him…

“Help us fight, and we’ll help ya fight, brah,” Jun promised. “Awweeeeieieieieoooooaaah!!!” he screamed like a madman, the painted symbols on his face contorting with his frown and seeming to dance with life across his flesh; his Scythers charged off to battle, Logan’s Pokémon chasing behind them. Jun did a little somersault and rolled down the grassy hill in celebration before getting tangled in the unconscious bodies of a couple of knocked-out Team Rocket scouts.

They were 27 against maybe 200. What are so many Team Rocket members doing out here in the forest? Don’t they have better things to do? The battling unfolded before their eyes, savage and automatic. His Pokémon knew what he wanted from them. They all knew which moves would be best against the standard types that Team Rocket employed. Ryan wondered if the other trainers had such a bond with their Pokémon, or if it was all just luck going on out there. Either way, it looked like his side was winning.

“Dang, Team Rocket,” Jun Baba-o complained, clawing his way up onto a rock and taking out a bit of barbequed chicken and pineapple to munch on noisily (and messily). “Dey just came ta town, juss like dat, eh!” He licked the grease from his fingers. “Big battle goin’ down in Viridian City, I bet.”

“Really?” Alex asked.

“Why else dey come here, eh? Why else?!”

“I don’t know,” the Asian boy admitted.

“Dat doesn’t matter!” Jun told them. “We just gotta beat ‘em.”

As Ryan watched the battles unfold, he noticed his Pokémon were starting to take more and more damage. They need me, he knew. And so he was out there running for his buddies, and he didn’t know if any of the other four trainers were chasing after him. In the chaos of battle, Ryan found Aegon and began shouting commands to his Charizard. The fire Pokémon pushed back the Team Rocket members in front of him, frying their Pokémon and even some of them who got too close to the flames. Further ahead, Ryan came upon Thurnax, engaged in combat with an Arbok and a Weezing. After giving her a few pointers, Ryan moved on to Myrrah and Skorge, who were battling a few Raticates and Drowzees. Dispassionately, the boy helped his two outnumbered Pokémon overcome their weaker foes. NaVorro was stampeding through the undergrowth ahead, crashing through bushes and trees as he zigzagged across the dirt path, sending Pokémon and Team Rocket grunts scrambling. Finally, Ryan ran over to where Spectre was, hoping that his Haunter was still in good shape. Luckily, he found the beast engaged with a Fearow, playing with the squawking beast like it was a piece of food. Ryan made sure Spectre KO’d that Pokémon quickly and knew that he was not to mess around anymore.

So there they were, in the dust and jungle, the humidity of the forest wrapped around them like a noose. He saw Rahul’s and Alex’s and Jun’s and Logan’s Pokémon fighting. Some of them fell, knocked out or too weak to go on. Some Ryan’s did too, as the battling went on - Skorge and Myrrah and NaVorro collapsed after taking a little too much damage. There’s still too many of them left, Ryan knew, as he raced from Aegon to Thurnax to Spectre over and over again, his throat aching with how hoarse it had grown. And when Aegon finally fainted, Ryan knew it was over. We can’t beat this many of them. They’ll make us their prisoners and steal our Pokémon, he realized with horror. We must try to escape. Turning back to look at the others, Ryan found them to be too spread apart, too isolated. His own fallen Pokémon were lost somewhere amongst the piles of collapsed Pokémon and foliage. It’ll take too long to find them. I can’t run.

“Thurnax!” he shouted desperately. “Please, don’t let them hurt you!”

The noble dragon Pokémon roared, “Heieieieaaaaah!” and charged a Machamp. A second later, the four-armed freak fell to the dirt, swirly eyes covering its flat face. She used Surf to push her way through Grimers, Zubats, and Cubones. She felled a Persian with a single Hyper Beam, took out a Rhydon with Wrap, and Surfed through an obese Hypno. After all of that, Thurnax stopped and fell forward panting. That was when the Hyper Beam hit her, and she fainted. A Team Rocket grunt stood cackling, his Persian at his side. There’re just too many of them… Ryan thought numbly.

Everything looked lost. Even Alex’s and Rahul’s Pokémon were collapsing. The Scythers were gone. Ryan only had Spectre left. For a single moment, amidst all the shouting and smoke and screaming, Ryan’s eyes locked with Alex’s, and he saw the worry in them.

In the next moment, the sound of trees falling could be heard. Everyone stopped battling and turned to face this new threat. It was coming from behind the Team Rocket members. As old, ancient, beautiful trees fell, the dark figure of a person riding a Pokémon could be seen. From so far away, Ryan could only tell that the person riding the Pokémon wore a white shirt and had short brown hair and pale skin. It was his mount - a large Porygon - that truly gave him away, however. Charlie. Found you again. Ryan thought of the bounty for Charlie back on Cinnabar Island and wondered if it was still worth it to try to catch the boy. It’s not like I could catch him even if I wanted to. Five of my Pokémon are knocked out.

Standing there, unsure of what was going on or what Charlie was trying to do, Ryan beheld a most peculiar sight: a young boy without a care in the world, cheeky as anyone Ryan had ever seen, casually approaching the Team Rocket army. And when he came upon them, he turned into a man with the head of a Porygon and did to those grunts what the spring does to the cherry tree.

Ryan had never seen a person propagate so much carnage single-handedly. Nuclear proliferation, Ryan thought with awe, I wish I knew more about him. With just his Porygon, Charlie managed to defeat the remaining Team Rocket members, forcing them to scatter like breadcrumbs in a hailstorm after he felled their Pokémon. Confidently, Charlie rode up to the five remaining trainers and grinned.

“Sup whiny-face. Long time no see.”

“Yeah, okay, hello,” Alex said in that monotone voice of his.

“Marth is better than Falco!” Ryan shouted uncertainly.

“Sure, buddy,” replied Charlie. “Anyways, if you ever need saving again, just call me,” he smiled knowingly and turned his mount around. Porygon moved like a robot - no emotions, no personality. “I’ll be around. And good luck with your journey, dude. I’m sure you’ll do really good.” I think I detect some malice in that tone of his. A little sass too, and maybe a touch of paprika.

With that, Charlie disappeared into the bushes, where Ryan (and poor Merrett, rest his soul) prayed he would never have to set foot again.

“Dat’s not natural,” Jun Baba-o spoke.

Logan agreed. “Yeah, what’s going on?”

“His Porygon must be on steroids,” Ryan put forth.

“That, or he’s just really good,” Alex said. That can’t be it.

“Psst, got any more food?” Rahul asked Jun, his mouth watering like a Growlithe at a water park. “I’m starving!”

“You suckas ain’t stealin’ from me, no way brah! Thanks for your help, ya. But I ain’t feedin’ ya!” Jun ran his hand through his mohawk. He looked like a refrigerator. Now even Ryan was feeling a tad peckish. Sensing their unease, Jun said, “It’s getting late brahs. Easy brahs, slow brahs. You helped me, and I helped you. We even now, ok? Viridian City is just ahead… keep going, ya?”

“We’re hungry!” Rahul complained “Feed us!” And he kicked and punched the air like a petulant child, magnificent for a man of Rahul’s stature. It’s like when he tried to do good in Halo 5 but never did.

“Love your Pokémon, bruddahs, and don’t forget dey’re people too, just like you. Now I must go, my people need me!”

With that, Jun Baba-o, the First of His Name, rolled off into the bushes, like some predator of the night. Two of his Scythers howled, taking to the air and buzzing off after him. The scarred one with the scruff of fur around his neck stayed put.

Around Ryan, the others were looking for their fainted or wounded Pokémon. The forest was quiet, all the wild Pokémon spectators long fled. He alone stood to face the Scyther. A golden beam of sunlight was stretched diagonally across the warrior’s lime green face. Pulled back was his body, taut and unleashed, like a samurai warrior frozen in carbonite, like a tsunami about to break across the shore.

“Scyther,” Ryan said happily. “Nice to see you again.”

“Scyther, scythe!” the creature retorted coolly.

“You remember me, don’t you? I’m Ryan. You helped me save Pallet Town from a herd of rampaging Tauros.”

“Scyyyyyyy!!”

“I’ve missed you,” the boy said. I’ve thought about this Scyther more than I should have, ever since we left Pallet. “I-if you want… you c-could join my team…” he offered lamely.

“Scyther,” the Pokémon replied, sliding its white scythe hands against each other, as if to sharpen the blades.

“I know you don’t want to be out here, Scyther. Who would? Come on, Viridian Forest is boring and lonely. You won’t get to fight many cool battles out here… if you join me, I’ll take you around the world to battle all sorts of Pokémon!”

“Scyther,” the Mantis Pokémon said sadly. He belongs to Jun, Ryan thought suddenly. Even though Facepaint McGee didn’t want to admit he owns any Pokémon, I can see it in Scyther’s eyes. He doesn’t want to leave that man. He’s too loyal.

“It’s Jun, isn’t it?”

“Scyther.” The word came lonely as the night, stiff and short.

Ryan sighed. “Don’t worry about it, Scyther. It was nice seeing you. Maybe one day, we’ll meet again.”

“Scyther!” the bright green bug ‘mon shouted, and in the next breath, he was in the air, flying over the tree line, away from Ryan and the others. But I know we won’t.

An emptiness blanketed Ryan as he gathered his defeated Pokémon and regrouped with the others. I wanted that Scyther so bad. First Abra, then the Mew, and now Scyther… Bowing his head, Ryan focused on the holes in the shade, coming from the pockets in the tree line above him. Patches of the dirt road were covered in sunlight, hot to the touch, while others remained cool and dark. He wondered what Jessica had done to that Mew since that terrible night in Lavender Town. If she even touched it, I’ll…

“Ryan.” The voice of Alex wafted across the forest path like a summer breeze. The boys locked eyes again. “We need to go. Four of my Pokémon are KO’d, and it’s the same for the others. We’re vulnerable, and we need to get to a Pokémon Center as soon as possible. I have potions, but I don’t want to use them if I don’t have to.”

Ryan said, “Fine, let’s go. I’m just waiting for you guys anyways.”

And so off they went, deeper into the forest. The air was growing hotter, and Rahul and Logan were arguing again about if ghosts were real. Ryan’s only conscious Pokémon, his jokester of a ghost, drifted after them, while Alex, now with Rahul’s map, led the way. Just a few more hours, Ryan told himself, and I’ll have eight badges. Just like Kelly… just like dad.


It was a calamity, as Ryan always knew it would be. Alex can be so oblivious sometimes, he observed, watching Alex try to lead them to Viridian City, as his brothers kept calling him on his phone to talk about their lives and school and smash. Needless to say, Alex stretched himself too thin, as he was wont to do, and didn’t see the forest for the trees. The big picture eludes him like a salad eludes Rahul.

They came to the end of the road, where the forest squeezed inward and a rocky wall swallowed the path whole. Grey rocks, like chipped ice cubes, lay half-sunk in the mud. On one of them, a Spearow sat. When it saw the four boys approach, it faced them and gave them the stink eye. Ryan picked up a pebble and almost threw it at the beast, only restraining himself at the last second. It’s nothing. That Spearow means nothing to me.

“Make sure you spam Meta Knight’s tornado attack,” Alex urged his youngest brother, Xiao Bao, the most notorious spammer of them all. It did not surprise Ryan in the slightest that the eldest son was giving such advice to the youngest son. Upon hanging up, Alex shook his head and spun the map around a few times before flinging it at the bushes half-heartedly. “Well, we’re lost. I followed the map, and the map lied.”

“Told you,” Rahul grinned, stroking his dark beard. “It wasn’t me.”

“No. The road earlier was pretty straightforward. All you needed to do was follow it,” Alex responded, motioning to the rock wall. “The map did not show this. Where does something like that even come from? How does a mountain pop up out of nowhere and break up the trail?”

“Luckily, we have someone who can walk through mountains,” Ryan said, clicking his fingers. With that, Spectre lurched forward and sped right at the rock. It still looked odd and made Ryan a little queasy to watch his Haunter fly at a wall with such speed only to vanish into it… like a ghost.

“What’s he going to find on the other side, Viridian City?” Alex asked.

“I hope so.”

“And how does that help us?”

“It’ll let us know we’re close,” Ryan assured the angry Asian boy. “Trust me, I have seven badges.”

Alex’s phone rang again. This time he didn’t pick up for his brothers. That made Ryan gasp audibly. “We already know how close we are. It says so on the map. The problem is that there’s no way to get to there from here. The trail’s being blocked!”

A bird screeched, its thin, piercing voice ringing through the air like pure energy. The bird eclipsed the sun, causing everyone to look up. Pidgeot. If ever there was such a thing as grace personified, it was that bird, Ryan thought. It was huge for a Pidgeot, and arrogant in how it flew. Its loops and artful spiraling arcs were all for show. It knows we’re watching. When it performed a diving, twirling flip only to pull up at the last second, Rahul whooped and probably thought of Pacific Rim 2: The Return.

Out from the mess of bushes and trees behind them, a rustling sound came. Then came a leg, an arm, and a person. He was light-skinned, wore black skinny jeans, a grey long-sleeved shirt, a light white-and-red jacket, and a backwards black-and-red baseball cap. His eyes were blue, dark as the ocean, and his hair was a chaotic brown mess. He was about as tall as Ryan, and a little shorter than Rahul.

“I thought I heard people,” the boy said, brushing a branch out of his face. “You guys were making a lot of noise.”

“We’re lost,” Logan explained.

“I can tell. You guys talk too much. Are you trying to get to Viridian or Pewter?”

“Viridian,” Ryan said at once.

“Nice! I know how to get there. I don’t know what I would have done if you had said the other city,” he laughed. “My name’s Dylan, by the way,” he continued, bowing nimbly “I’m the Gym Leader from Viridian. It’s a pleasure make all of your acquaintances.”

The others introduced themselves to the youthful Gym Leader… all save for Ryan, who stood there frozen. When everyone else finished, and the attention shifted to him (it would be most rude for him to not introduce himself, after all), Ryan shouted, “I challenge you to a Gym Battle!”

“So you must be the one with seven badges,” Dylan said shrewdly. Behind, his Pidgeot landed hard in the grass. “Alright, kid, I’ll fight you. Just… let’s get back to the gym first, okay? I’d rather fight there. It’s official and all, you know…?”

Ryan nodded a little too emphatically. Dylan can’t know the Team Rocket trainers knocked out my other five Pokémon. That wouldn’t be fair; he’ll think I’m a joke and he might refuse to battle me. Hopefully the others won’t say anything about it. As Dylan led the others into the wild forest, with the promise of safe passage to Viridian City, Ryan stood and stared at the Pidgeot, not saying a word. Then, his Haunter reappeared and gave him a breathless report on what he had seen in the heart of the mountain. Ryan raised his hand to silence the ghost, still staring at the narrowed eyes of the Pidgeot.

He’s a flying trainer. Well, flying/normal, I suppose… I guess I picked up the worst new Pokémon for this battle, he thought, thinking of Skorge. But if I beat him with a Ground type Pokémon… maybe everyone’ll see just how good a Pokémon trainer I really am! It would be a gamble, he knew. But I have to try.

Smirking, Ryan broke the gaze with the Pidgeot and followed the others into the thick forest. His leg caught on a bramble. He felt a thorn poke his toe through his shoe. He tasted mud and dying leaves on the air as sweat poured down his neck and back in the humid heat. Dylan doesn’t know I use TMs. He doesn’t know that I know he’s a flying specialist. He’ll try to trap me, especially if he sees Skorge. That’s good. So long as he thinks he’s laying a trap, I’ll have an advantage. He may have won the Indigo League a few years ago, but in this battle I’ll be one step ahead of him.

I’ll get that badge, he promised himself. If Kelly could get it, if Rahul is going to get it, if all those other kids who qualified managed to get this badge… so will I. My father beat the Viridian City Gym Leader four times. If they can do it, so can I. He wanted to believe - he really did. In his mind and dreams, Ryan was a Pokémon Master.

But the real world is not made of dreams and fantasies. Things never end up how you want them to… not unless you make them.

Episode 31: This One's For Several of the Marbles

She was putting on her gloves when he came for her. Spotless. Good. “Uh… Jessica, everyone’s ready…”

“Good,” she whispered, closing her eyes to savor the moment. “Gilly, you will lead the attack.”

Studying herself in her most faithful mirror, Jessica thought she looked like a true ganglord. They’ll not soon forget this day. Team Rocket is back. Her clothes were dark and shining, the red ‘R’ shimmering like a blood ruby on her chest. The only things I’m missing are a cape and a gold cane, she thought.

“Bring me the prisoner,” Jessica told the boy, and he yelped before scurrying off to get the man. Turning around in her small hotel room, crammed with boxes and crates of supplies, low-lit from her desk light, she studied the blue Mew hovering in the corner. “I am your master now, Mew,” she said, walking up to it and snatching something off her desk. There were mats all around its neck. The wounds are scabbing, she noticed, bringing her glove to the Mew’s fur. Good. “You will obey me,” she told it. “Or I will make you.”

Bringing the electric collar up to the Mew’s neck, Jessica locked it in place, not daring to meet the Pokémon’s eyes. It doesn’t want to listen to me. Its nature is not to be a servant. She stepped away from the animal and pocketed the remote control. Sighing heavily, she waited for Gilly to return to her. That Mew helped me destroy the Painted Dragons’ lairs in Saffron, Celadon, and Fuschia. All it needs is a little shock every now and then. She glanced up at the blue-furred beast, which was eyeing her cautiously. There is no one in Kanto who can stand against me and my Mew.

A few moments later, the door opened again, and Gilly came waddling in, Mrs. Supreme Extreme in one hand, a rope leading a blindfolded, bound man in the other.

“Gillford Matilda Gooseman,” Jessica said coolly. “Well done.” The boy handed her the rope. “The next time I see you will be in the Painted Dragons’ underground base.” Pacing around the boy, the rope now in her hand, Jessica stopped just behind him and whispered into his ear, “I should not have to tell you what the price of failure is.”

“Of course Jessica!” Gillford saluted awkwardly and tried to levitate, but he fell over and messed up his preschool-style hair. “I won’t fail you!”

If you do, you will go the way of Giovanni, Jessica thought. “Leave me.” Her voice was cold, authoritative. A chill spread across Jessica’s body when the boy shut the door behind him. She stepped up to the prisoner and took his blindfold off. He was a sweaty, middle-aged man with short black hair, thin-rimmed glasses, and a clean-shaven face. “Hello, Underboss Toriyama,” Jessica said through the teeth. “Do you remember me?”

He looked away from her and spat at the floor.

“You’re going to take me to the Painted Dragons’ base in Viridian City,” she said, tugging lightly on his rope. “The secret entrance. I want to meet your leader.” The man never looked at her and never opened his mouth. His weak attempts at resistance annoyed the purple-haired girl. She slapped him across the face. “I wasn’t asking.”

“I-I… I’m not telling you anything!” Toriyama stammered.

“That’s where you’re wrong, man.” Jessica stepped around the man as she had done with Gilly, stopping just behind him. Taking out her remote control, she pointed it at Mew. “You are such a stupid man,” Jessica said to the Painted Dragons Underboss. “You’ve faced my Mew once before; you know how this will end. Stop prolonging the inevitable and tell me where the secret entrance to your base is!”

“I’ll never tell!” The man’s voice was grating to Jessica’s ears. She pressed the second button on her remote, and the blue Mew drifted forward slowly. “N-no….! No, no, no!! Nooooooooooooooo!!!” Underboss Toriyama screamed as he fell to his knees, covered in purple energy. He looked like a tree set aflame. The Mew’s eyes burned aqua in the near darkness ahead.

Jessica tugged at the Painted Dragon’s leash. “Good?” The man was breathing hard on the floor, moaning slightly. She jerked his leash harder. “Are you ready to tell me what I need to know?”

“Ah… ahh… ah…” the man panted. He’s stubborn, she thought angrily. I’ll have to try something else. “W-wait… stop!” he cried hoarsely just as Jessica began walking towards the Mew. Toriyama’s head was bowed in shame, and he spoke lightly and slowly. “I-I’ll… I’ll take you there. Please. No more. No more…”

Jessica bit her lip to prevent the man from seeing her smile. “That’s more like it.”

It was the late afternoon by the time they came to the Painted Dragons’ building. That’s Gilly’s fault, she knew. I wanted to attack first thing in the morning, but he took forever to organize the troops. Maybe I should find a replacement for that nitwit… The building was, outwardly, a Pokémon food store. A front. Three stories high it rose, like a giant’s tooth, but she knew there were at least twice as many floors below ground, spread out as wide as a spider’s web. The largest Painted Dragons base in Kanto. If I crush them here, we will have beaten them once and for all.

Jessica entered with the man, passing calmly by customers and employees to a far elevator. Inside the elevator, the man pressed a dozen buttons in a flurry, as if he were typing a password. Eventually, a little camera sprung out of the speaker hole and scanned Underboss Toriyama’s retinas. Satisfied, the camera popped back into the speaker, and a moment later, they were shooting down into the depths of the base.

In the room at the end of the hall, she found them. The three of them were sitting around a table, the air thick with cigar smoke. Jessica couldn’t tell if they were playing poker or drinking orange juice, but hate flushed in her cheeks the moment she laid eyes on them.

“Hey!” she shouted, kicking her hostage at the three. At once, the men got to their feet and shouted in surprise.

“What are you doing down here?!” the one in a fancy burgundy bathrobe asked. Jessica could see water Pokémon painted across his forearms, and a group of Poliwags swimming upstream had been tattooed on his throat. That’s Ganglord Tajira… the man in charge of the Painted Dragons. He looked nothing like Giovanni to her.

To his right, a man with a grey-black beard and short-cut black hair stood in a simple ash-grey suit with a red tie and black-rimmed glasses. His tattoos covered almost all of his exposed flesh; Jessica saw dozens of Pokémon painted on his pale skin - and none of them were duplicates. This one has to be Lieutenant Sugimori. I bet he has one of every Pokémon tattooed somewhere on his body. The thought made her shudder.

To Ganglord Tajira’s left was another man, standing stoically, wearing black robes and dark sunglasses. His thick black hair was gelled and spiky, and his face was clean-shaven. There were no visible tattoos on that man, but Jessica knew who he was anyways: Lieutenant Ohba.

“Who are you?!” Ganglord Tajira roared. “How’d you get down here?”

“My name’s Jessica,” the purple-haired girl smirked, taking out her Poké Ball. “I’m the leader of Team Rocket. I think you know why I’m here.”

The three men glanced at the sweating Underboss Toriyama. “We heard rumors…” Lieutenant Sugimori said, “from Cerulean to Saffron… but… but we didn’t know it was just a little girl, ha! You mean nothing to us, girl. Leave.”

“I’ll crush you,” Lieutenant Ohba boasted. “I’ll make you rue the day you decided to cross us.”

The girl shrugged. “You can try.”

In a flash of light, the three Painted Dragons threw their Poké Balls. Out came a Poliwrath for Tajira, a Gengar for Sugimori, and a Blastoise for Ohba. This is too easy. With a flick of her wrist, the girl’s Mew came shooting out of its ball to hover in front of its three opponents. Three against one. And they don’t have a chance. Pity. “Today is the last day the Painted Dragons operate in Kanto,” Jessica told them calmly. “Let me show you why.”

In her other hand, the remote buzzed. Now is the time, Jessica thought fiercely. And maybe once this is over, mom and dad will finally be proud of me.


“I heard you won the Indigo League five years ago.”

“Was it that long ago? Sheesh, time flies.” Dylan dismounted from his Pidgeot and cracked his neck.

On the other side of the Viridian City Gym, Ryan stood battle-ready, a Poké Ball in his hand. “You must be really skilled to have won the league!” Ryan shouted.

Dylan shook his head. “Someone wins every year. Besides, I lost when I challenged the Elite 4. I didn’t even get to face the Champion. That’s the real goal… being champion. Not many achieve that honor.”

“I will!” Ryan said, determined.

Dylan drew a Poké Ball too. “You have to get past me first.”

“Hey, did you face a girl named Kelly a few weeks back?” Ryan asked suddenly.

“Might have.”

“She had pink hair and fought with a shiny Raichu…”

“Oh yeah…” Dylan’s eyes narrowed in thought. “I remember her.”

“Did she beat you the first time you fought?”

“I don’t remember.”

Ryan breathed out in frustration. “Oh come on, you have to remember!!”

“Tons of people battle me, especially nowadays. Gym season’s almost over. Tournament’s about to start. That means I’m going up against a lot of trainers desperate to get their last badge. Sometimes I fight a dozen people a day. Now, are you here to fight or do you want to talk some more about people who already have their Earth Badge?”

So Kelly did beat him. I bet she beat him in one go, too. “Fine, let’s do this.”

Dylan nodded curtly and threw his Poké Ball. Ryan threw his as well. Out from one came a Doduo; out from the other came Spectre.

“Doduo, the Twin Bird Pokémon. Its short wings make flying difficult. Instead, this Pokémon runs at high speed on developed legs.” Dex told Ryan.

It’s normal and flying type, Ryan thought. Perfect. “Spectre, use Thunderbolt!”

“Drill Peck, Dodou,” Dylan told his Pokémon.

The bird and ghost charged at once another. Just before Dodou reached Spectre, the Haunter released a torrent of electricity from his claws, bathing his foe in super effective damage. The Doduo shrieked and stumbled, but kept running. Seconds later, the two-headed bird slammed into Spectre, poking him savagely with its Drill Peck attack. Spectre groaned and fell back.

“Mega Drain,” Ryan shouted at his Pokémon, and Spectre proceeded to drain the remainder of Doduo’s health from it, restoring a bit of his own. The Doduo, which had been ordered to perform another Drill Peck, collapsed on the dirt stage in mid-charge.

“Doduo, return. Go Pidgeotto! Hit that Haunter with a Wing Attack!”

“Thunderbolt it outta here, brah!” Ryan urged his Haunter.

Once again, two Pokémon charged at one another, flying as fast as the winds, and once again, Spectre arrived first, if only barely. His Thunderbolt rattled the Pidgeotto, causing it to squawk and have its feathers go everywhere. From behind, Logan cheered Ryan, the only one of Ryan’s party to come watch him battle. Rahul and Alex couldn’t make it cuz they needed to get some stuff from the Poké Mart. Oh well, they’re missing a great show.

Then came Pidgeotto, like a wind demon, and it slapped Spectre across the face with its wing, sending Spectre flying back. Ryan knew that his Haunter would have fainted if not for the Mega Drain earlier.

“Thunderbolt again!” Ryan urged his Pokémon, and Spectre obeyed.

Once again, Spectre’s attack went first, on account of him being faster than the Pidgeotto, and this time, the bird Pokémon could not withstand the shock. It fell smoking to the ground, forcing its owner to recall it.

“Pretty good, huh?” Ryan laughed carelessly. “My Haunter has TMs!”

“You talk too much,” Dylan replied, frowning slightly, more to himself than at Ryan. He doesn’t know how to defeat Spectre.

From Dylan’s next Poké Ball came a Fearow. “Man, I hate Fearows!” Ryan shouted. “They’re as ugly as my Grand Auntie Paprika!”

Dylan shook his head at Ryan and said, “Sky Attack, Fearow.”

“Give ‘em another Thunderbolt, buddy.”

It happened fast as light, quick enough to take the breath away. The Fearow took to the sky, glowing and flying high. Spectre’s Thunderbolt sailed right past it. Before Ryan could tell his Pokémon its next attack, the Fearow came down in a dive bomb, crashing into Spectre and knocking him unconscious.

“Aw…” Guess looks aren’t everything. Ryan returned Spectre and readied his next Poké Ball. “Go, NaVorro! Take Down attack now!”

“Sky Attack!” Dylan ordered his Fearow.

The Fearow once again began to glow and took to the sky. Tauros flung himself recklessly at the bird, but missed, landing hard and rolling several times before coming to a stop. “Blizzard!” Ryan urged his Pokémon.

But just as the Tauros got to his feet, the Fearow came crashing down upon his head, knocking NaVorro savagely to the dirt floor. NaVorro let out a grunt of pain. At once, Ryan’s heart began to beat faster. I have to win this battle. I can’t let Dylan regain the momentum. “Come on, NaVorro, don’t give up! You can do it! You can beat that ugly Fearow!”

NaVorro snorted and got to his feet, scanning the skies for his quarry. Upon finding it soaring over by Dylan, NaVorro let out a bellow and created a Blizzard attack around the entire gym room. The Fearow squeaked and cawed and tried to dodge the attack, but it couldn’t. Ryan felt the tempest winds cover his body, felt snow against his skin. He started shivering. Maybe having NaVorro use Blizzard wasn’t such a good idea…

When the wind and light cleared, Ryan found the entire place to be covered in snow. Behind him, Logan had been turned into a snowman. Even Dylan and Pidgeot were brushing snow off themselves like they were driveways in the middle of December. Ahead, hovering in the air like a UFO, Dylan’s Fearow remained. But it was encased in ice. When NaVorro stamped his foot from below and prepared a Hyper Beam attack to finish off Fearow, the bird fell from the sky like an ornament from a Pokémas tree. Sinking into the snow like a crumbling statue of Ramses the Not-So-Great, Fearow did not move. Dylan recalled his Pokémon immediately.

“Alright, Farfetch’d, it’s your turn!”

“Farfetch’d, really?” Ryan put his hands on his hips. “I thought you said you won the Indigo League! How could someone as good as you use a Pokémon like that?”

Dylan didn’t respond; he didn’t even look at Ryan.

“Freeze it like the last one!” Ryan ordered. All of his Pokémon are normal and flying types. That means they’re all weak to ice attacks.

“Body Slam the Tauros, Farfetch’d!”

NaVorro once again created a Blizzard, and Ryan regretted not bringing his hoodie to the party. Just when Logan burst out of the snowman he had been encased inside of, another Blizzard covered the room, and he was blanketed mercilessly by snow. That’s a shame.

But through the Blizzard, the Farfetch’d ran, damaged though it was. It flung itself recklessly at Tauros, its pathetic Body Slam landing right on the Tauros’ face. NaVorro stumbled back, grunting in pain. He looked back at Ryan, breathing hard, and fell over. NaVorro had fainted.

“No way! There’s no freakin’ way a Farfetch’d could do so much damage to my Tauros!” Ryan complained. “I call hacks!”

Dylan shrugged. “He’s a high-level Pokémon. If you want to stop whining, we can continue…”

“Fine!” Ryan shouted back, grabbing Myrrah’s Poké Ball. If he wants to play, I’ll show him a thing or two. NaVorro isn’t my only Pokémon with super effective attacks against flying types…

Without warning, the ceiling began to shake. A few trails of dust and dirt fell from the upper rafters, landing in the snow. “What was that?” Ryan asked.

“I don’t know. Probably nothing.” Dylan folded his arms. “Bring out your next Pokémon, or forfeit. I don’t have all day, kid.”

Kid? Dylan’s barely older than me! Ryan looked back at Logan, who had once again broken free from his snowman cage and was now waving golden pom-poms and cheering for Ryan like a proper schoolgirl. The teal-haired boy grit his teeth and returned his focus to the battle. “Go Myrrah! Blizzard attack!”

I’m turning into a spammer, Ryan realized. But my Pokémon don’t have any other ice moves! Suffice to say, Farfetch’d could not survive two Blizzard attacks from two high-level Pokémon. It collapsed, icicles hanging from its nose and leek, and Dylan was forced to recall it.

Ryan knew he had a chance now - a very good chance of winning. Just two more… I still have four Pokémon. He eyed the huge Pidgeot perched loyally next to Dylan on a bed of snow. I wonder if he’s saving the best for last. It won’t matter, Ryan thought, I’ll beat him either way.

The roof was shaking again, and so were the walls. Pockets of snow flew into the air or collapsed inwards. Logan fell face-first into the snow. Ryan looked all around, confused. This isn’t normal. It doesn’t even feel like an earthquake. Returning his eyes to the Pokémon, Ryan was about to speak when he saw the willowy form of a Dodrio materialize in front of Myrrah.

“Hyper Beam!” Dylan urged his leal Pokémon.

Ryan punched the sky. “Blizzard, Myrrah! Finish this battle with style!”

As the two Pokémon charged up their attacks and rushed towards one another, the far door swung open, blowing warm, dusty air into the frigid gym. A girl with mousy brown hair and heavy, dark eyeliner was waving her arms at them from the entrance, silhouetted by the bright light of mid-afternoon.

“Dylan, Dylan, come quick!” she yelled. “Dylaaaaaan! Hurry!!”

“I’m busy,” the teenager shouted back. “I’m in the middle of a Gym Battle. It won’t take much longer.” He eyed Ryan suspiciously.

What’s that supposed to mean? He’s losing. He has no chance. My Myrrah’s super effective against both his Dodrio and his Pidgeot…

“It’s the Painted Dragons, Dylan! They’re fighting some kind of gang war! I think they’re fighting Team Rocket, but I’m not sure!”

Dylan eased his Dodrio into its Poké Ball, stopping its Hyper Beam from charging up completely. “Show me,” he said, running through the snow, past Ryan. “Sorry,” he said to the teal-haired boy, “I have to see what’s going on. Stay here; I’ll be back soon.”

“No,” Ryan replied, looking to the girl. “You said it’s Team Rocket they’re fighting, right? Well, I have a score to settle with them!”

Dylan shrugged and said, “As you wish. Let’s go!”

“I-I-I-I’m c-c-c-coming t-t-too…!!” Logan declared, his teeth chattering as he hugged himself. He can’t deal with the cold very well, Ryan noted. Like me.

“Did you see a purple-haired girl with a blue Mew?!” Ryan asked the girl with extensive make-up standing in the entranceway.

She shook her head. I know that girl’s here. And if she brought the Mew with her… Ryan could feel the beating in his chest, the anticipation coursing through his veins and making his palms sweat. She won’t leave this place with that Mew, he promised himself.

So the four ran out the door, into the light of day, to the battle that awaited them. If only they hadn’t already fought most of a Gym Battle, maybe Ryan and Dylan would have had more Pokémon to fight against Team Rocket with. Oh well…


Pandemonium ravaged the streets, like a bull through the hall. There were Painted Dragons everywhere, and standing against them, Ryan noticed the familiar uniforms of Team Rocket - black or grey suits with gigantic ‘R’ signs plastered on their chests. They were impossible to miss. The Painted Dragons wore more menacing clothes, and looked like angry bikers, though their tattoos gave away just who they were. I wonder why they’re fighting here… and now of all times.

People were running in and out of the Pokémon food store just ahead of the gym. “That’s the Painted Dragons’ base,” Dylan told the others as they ran. “I always knew they were troublemakers!”

Zubats and Butterfree soared through the skies. In the middle of the street, a Rhyhorn was chasing a Growlithe. A spire of flames screamed past them; several men were shouting, pain thick in their voices. There were dozens of Team Rocket and Painted Dragon members, their Pokémon clogging the streets. From the Pokémon Center on the left, Alex and Rahul came running out.

“What’s going on?” asked Alex.

“Team Rocket and the Painted Dragon are fighting! We have to stop them!” Logan replied.

“Yo Ryan, be my wingman!” Rahul grinned, stroking his goatee. “Come on Ryyyyyyyyyyan! Let’s do this!”

“Alright.”

“Sweeeet!”

“Just follow me, okay?”

“Yeah, sure, whatever.” There was an unnaturally high level of obliviousness in Rahul’s tone.

As the two split off from the rest of the group, Ryan dodged fighting Pokémon and gang members as he tried to explain to Rahul what was going on. “We’re looking for a purple-haired girl with a blue Mew.”

“Aaaalright…” Rahul said without a care in the world.

“You remember her? She attacked us in the snow near Pewter City. She was the one who stole all of the fossils…”

“Oh, yeah!”

Alex and Logan already had their Pokémon out, battling back the tide of lackeys and minions like a couple of Hashshashins. I can’t do that. I only have four left… well not even, really. Skorge is new, and he’s not a very high level yet, and Myrrah is injured from the Gym Battle… Ryan knew he had to save his Pokémon for Jessica. She’s not getting away from me again.

Pushing their way into the store, Ryan went up to the cowering staff members that he could find, asking them if they had seen a purple-haired girl with a floating blue-skinned Pokémon. Most didn’t even respond to Ryan, but those who did said they hadn’t seen her.

Around a corner, a Meowth came running, being chased by a Mankey who crashed into an isle, spilling Pokémon food all over the floor. The staff member Ryan was talking to shrieked and ran out the door.

“It’s hopeless!” Ryan wailed. “I don’t know where she is!!”

“Maybe she’s not here,” Rahul said knowingly.

“No, that’s not it. Keep asking.”

Rahul went up to the girl behind the counter, all smooth like usual. She was a pale, freckled girl with fire-scorched hair and wet jade eyes, delicate as a winter flower. When Ryan looked at her, he felt a tingling in his stomach. “Hey…” he said casually, poking his Sonic Screwdriver out of his shirt pocket and waving it at her playfully. “I’m Doctor Rahul Kanojia, and I’m on a serious mission! If you’ve seen a girl come through here with purple hair… you need to tell me where she went, right now! The fate of the universe is at stake! I’m the doctor after all!” he roared proudly, thrusting his Sonic Screwdriver into the air.

A Painted Dragon spotted Ryan and threw a Poké Ball at the boy. A lethargic Gloom popped out of it. The man smiled a brown-toothed smile and bid Ryan attack him.

“Fire Blast, Aegon!” Ryan commanded, letting his fire Pokémon out. “And quickly, come on!”

Aegon spit his dragonflame, and the Painted Dragon screamed and ran. No one else dared bother Ryan in that food store.

Rahul came hobbling over, his forehead glossy with sweat. “I found her!” he breathed. “Rose’s gonna help us!” Rahul gestured at the red-headed girl next to him. She wore a company uniform of green-and-grey with pictures of Pikachus and Squirtles smiling all over the shirt, and her name tag confirmed that she was indeed Rose. “She saw the girl with the purple hair go in the elevator.”

Rose bit her lip. I like it when she does that. “She caused this, I know she did. And that means she could have only gone to one place,” the woman said, leading the other two into the elevator, past the fighting. Rose pressed a couple of buttons, causing the button pad to light up and a little camera device to spring out from the speaker port. It scanned her eyes, beeped, and a moment later, they were shooting downwards into the bowels of the Earth.

“She has a blue Mew,” Ryan warned Rahul again. “Be careful. It’s a legendary.”

“Seriously?! I know Mew’s a legendary!” Rahul grunted. “Who do you think I am, Xiao Bao?!”

“Okay, don’t ever tell Alex that one, because he won’t appreciate it.”

Rahul sighed and shook his head. “Yeah, yeah…”

They reached the bottom floor not long after; Rose stayed behind, guarding the elevator. “This won’t take long, will it? I’m on break soon…”

“No idea,” replied the teal-haired boy awkwardly. “Uuuuh… why don’t you play a game of seppuku or something, while you wait?”

She gave Ryan a dark look. “All this fighting’s bad for business. If you guys make it stop, I’ll give you 50% off any Pokémon food you want,” Rose said hopefully. Ryan’s cheeks flushed and he grinned, in spite of himself.

Well, in that case… Ryan exchanged a look with Rahul. They had their Poké Balls in their hands. And then they were running, running down the hall, paintings of old and older men on all sides of them, blurring grey and pink. The hallways smelled of smoke and cinnamon and dust.

Ryan’s palms were slick with sweat again. I wasn’t this nervous against Dylan. They could hear a struggle coming from up ahead, behind the last door at the end of the hallway. The door was tall and made of red wood, a golden dragon medallion carved into its face. Rahul kicked down the door as if it weren’t a work of art. The grandiose gesture reminded Ryan of Pacific Rim.

Inside, the two were met by a wall of cigar smoke, causing Ryan to lean forward and cough violently. Wiping the tears from his eyes, he looked up and saw her. Jessica. Amongst a veil of smoke, she seemed to float. She’s beautiful, like new-fallen snow. Too bad she’s evil. Beyond Jessica, three well-dressed men were huddled. They looked like a man Ryan had once crossed paths with in Cerulean City. In front of them, their Pokémon lay collapsed on the floor - a Blastoise, a Gengar, and a Poliwrath. Across from them, the Mew sat in the air unmoving.

In Jessica’s hand was a lighter, the flame dancing small and orange.

“Whoa, hey! What are you doing?!” Rahul yelled, causing Jessica to spin around.

Jessica’s pale emerald eyes went wide. “You?! What are you doing here?!”

“I told you you wouldn’t get away with this!” Ryan sneered, throwing Aegon’s ball to the ground. Rahul followed suit by letting his Magneton out. “Let it go and there won’t be any problems, okay?”

“Let it go?” Jessica was confused at first. Then she glanced at her Mew and giggled. “Oh, I see what you mean. Funny, I thought I caught this Pokémon. I thought it was mine to do with as I pleased.”

“You tricked it.”

Jessica’s face contorted into an ireful frown. “By what right do you think you can tell me how to catch my Pokémon?!”

“You’re evil. What you’re doing’s evil. Team Rocket’s evil. I’m not going to let you get away with abducting that poor Pokémon! And beside,” Ryan fumed, his voice rising higher and higher, “I can see how you’re treating that Mew, and it’s not right.” The collar around its neck was locked tight. Even from this distance, the teal-haired trainer could spot the scabs along its bright blue fur, not to mention the matted hair and that sullen look on the Mew’s face. It’s suffering. She doesn’t understand what it means to be a Pokémon trainer.

Jessica raised the remote control in her hand and pointed it at Ryan and Rahul. “Exterminate those two, Mew. I’m tired of looking at them.”

“Mew…!” the Pokémon squeaked, high-pitched and fearful. It gave Jessica a timid look before floating over to face the two trainers and their Pokémon.

That look in its eyes… Mew’s not evil like her. It doesn’t want to follow her orders, but it has to. Ryan knew what he had to do. “Don’t attack it, Rahul,” he whispered. “I’ve got an idea.” The boy slipped a hand into his bag, reaching for another Poké Ball. He made sure Jessica didn’t see what he was doing. Taking a deep breath, Ryan’s fingers brushed across the ball he knew he wanted. Easy now. Gotta go slow, or I’ll blow my cover.

It was for just a moment, but when Ryan’s eyes met the Mew’s, he understood the pain and devastation it was feeling. Just like that night in Lavender Town, he knew. I won’t let you down, Mew.

Episode 32: I'm a Rocket Man

The reek of gasoline pervaded the room like corruption. Jessica flicked the lighter off and on and off again. Across the crimson shag carpet floors to the other side of the room, the blue-haired boy and his large companion drew their Poké Balls and threw all of them. The dark-skinned blubber boy had a Dragonair, a Charizard, a Rhyhorn, a Magneton, a Lapras, and a Kadabra. The blue haired boy - Ryan was his name, she recalled - had only three Pokémon: a Dragonite, a Charizard, and a Cloyster. Where his others were, she did not know.

It doesn’t matter. Mew can beat them all. The three men behind her cowered and trembled, their Pokémon already defeated. The best the Painted Dragons had to offer. Soon, they’ll burn like all the rest.

“I’m warning you,” the boy named Ryan said darkly, “stop this right now, or we’ll make you! You’re outnumbered.”

He’s so dumb. How has such a stupid boy managed to trouble me this much?! “No one in the world can hurt my Mew,” she said. “Look behind me, fools. Those are the leaders of the Painted Dragons. They could not stand against me! What hope could you - two dumb boys - possibly have?”

“I beat you before,” the pale boy countered. “You don’t scare me!”

That made Jessica smirk. “That was luck. Besides, I didn’t have my legendary Mew with me back then. Now that I do, I’m invincible. You cannot touch me!”

“We’ll see about that!” said Ryan’s companion.

“Mew, Psychic attack!” Jessica commanded.

The poor blue-furred beast groaned and gave her a look, but it began charging up its purple energy attack anyways. At once, all nine of the other Pokémon rushed forward. Jessica clicked the lighter on and off again and made her way over to the three Painted Dragons.

“Ganglord Tajira,” she said pleasantly as Pokémon fought behind her, “sorry for the delay.”

“What are you doing?!” he asked through his gold teeth.

“I’m making sure the Painted Dragons never return to Kanto.” She walked up to the man’s safe, which lay open, and started pulling money out of it. Laying the fat stacks on their poker table, sweeping away glasses of orange juice and worn playing cards, she produced the lighter once again.

“N-no…!” Lieutenant Sugimori pleaded. “Please!”

Jessica didn’t listen to that ingrate. “Shut your fat mouth. I already won. I decide what happens now.” And so she brought the lonely flame to the edge of the piles of Poké Dollars and felt the heat take the paper. A burst of warmness rippled against her face and she stepped back, watching the fire spread across the table. I have to be careful, she reminded herself, I already poured gasoline around the entire room. It’s not yet time to burn this place down.

The men cried like Pidgeys for her to stay her madness, but she didn’t listen. Reaching into the safe, which she had forced Tajira to open not long ago, she took the Poké Balls from inside. “I wonder what’s in these?” she asked playfully. “These Pokémon were locked up… so they must be pretty dangerous… or powerful.” Her eyes met Sugimori’s. The man looked away, scowling. I won’t need these ones, not now that I have Mew. Maybe I’ll give them to Gilly or the others, or send them back to the boss. Giovanni would be so proud. Her heart began to flutter thinking of Giovanni. She still felt something for the man. He’s dying, but he was like a father to me, for all his faults. She had been raised by that man, for better or worse. But now it’s my turn to lead us… to restore the legacy of Team Rocket. The boss is too weak, too old. If we are to survive, it will be through me, and me alone.

Turning back to the fight going on between her Mew and those other Pokémon, Jessica noticed that the Rhyhorn, Lapras, Cloyster, and both Charizards had already fainted. Mew flew about, dodging attacks or absorbing them, not taking much damage. “Soft-boiled, now!” she ordered her Pokémon, and it obeyed, restoring half of its health. These stupid boys. They have no chance… and no idea that they’ve already lost. Every time Mew takes a little bit of damage, all I need to do is make it use Soft-boiled, and its health will be restored. Suddenly, Jessica burst out laughing. She felt the adrenaline coursing through her veins. I’ve waited so long for this moment…

“Finish them, Mew!” And usher in the new era of Team Rocket. In one fell swoop, she would take out her two most annoying foes and stand at the threshold of utter domination of Kanto. It was so perfect. Ahead, the Dragonite flew at Mew, charging up a Hyper Beam, but Mew’s Blizzard attack quickly silenced that beast. Dragons are not so fearsome in the cold. Even so, Jessica was growing impatient. She wanted to warm things up, to burn away all that the Painted Dragons held dear. Their computers, their paperwork, their secret information was all in this base. One click would be all that was required to wipe the Painted Dragons out of existence.

Mew performed an Earthquake, shattering the ground and making the portraits of former Painted Dragons leaders fall from the walls and shatter on the splitting carpet. The Dragonair collapsed; then came the Kadabra to stand against Mew. A hopeless fight. Mew will wipe the floor with that lesser Psychic Pokémon. Jessica folded her arms, savoring the taste of victory. Just two more…

A breath of air, quiet as death, moved past Jessica, causing her pants to shake so slightly, it was almost imperceptible. What was that?! Turning around, she saw nothing, just the broken ground, carpet and concrete poking up from the floor like a shattered mouth of teeth. Must’ve been nothing.

Returning her gaze ahead, Jessica saw that Mew and Kadabra were locked in an eternal struggle of Psychics, two purple beams clashing in the air, causing sparks to fall and a huge white light to emanate from where the two attacks were pushing against one another. Jessica raised her hand to block the light from hitting her eyes. Squinting, blinking away tears, she tried to see who held the advantage, if her Mew was going to beat that mustached freak. “Psychic, Psychic, Psychic!” she was bellowing, urging her Mew to use all its power to dominate its much-weaker foe. With her other hand, Jessica raised the remote controller and prepared to give her legendary Pokémon a good shock.

That was when the explosion went off - so loud it caused Jessica’s ears to ring, and so bright that, no matter how much she blinked, she could see nothing but endless white.


Kadabra was losing. He would not last another minute. “Rahul, do something!” Ryan whispered. His eyes stayed on Jessica, who stood behind her Mew. He kept looking for an opening, but saw none. “We have to distract her completely!”

“Don’t worry Ryan, I have an idea!”

Ryan coughed the cigar smoke out of his lungs and shook his head. “I don’t like the sound of that…”

“Haha, don’t worry, I’m the doctor!”

Rahul jumped forward, his Sonic Screwdriver in his hand, and shouted, “Magneton, Thunderbolt!”

The electric charge went flying from the floating mass of magnets straight at the Mew. The legendary Pokémon was already engaged with the Kadabra, their Psychics forming a beam struggle of brightening purple light. And when the lightning attack was added to fray, snaking elegantly up Kadabra’s beam towards the other Psychic…

Ryan was thrown back, as was Rahul. He never heard the explosion, just high-pitched ringing in his ears. They rolled across the broken carpet to the far wall, crashing with hard thuds. Opening his eyes, Ryan saw only white. He tasted iron and smelled smoke - this time not cigar smoke, but real smoke. Something’s burning. Ryan’s eyes widened in shock. Oh crap, the gas!

“Fluttershy is best pony…” Rahul murmured, sitting up. He was rubbing his head. That was when Ryan realized he could see again.

Whipping his head back around, Ryan saw the Mew still hovering, the Kadabra on the floor, fainted, and the Magneton crumpled up next to him, also rendered unconscious. We’re all out of Pokémon… at least as far as she thinks. Around the room, the walls, carpet, desks, boxes, couches, and ceiling were aflame. There wasn’t much time now.

Her teeth bared like a wolf’s, Jessica stepped forward triumphantly. “That’s it! Now finish them, Mew!”

“Mew!” Mew whined, giving its owner a distressed look.

“I wasn’t asking, Mew!” Jessica yelled, raising her hand. But in her hand was nothing. Got you. “Huh?! Where’s my remote?!” Jessica’s eyes grew large with uncertainty and confusion.

Now it was Ryan’s turn to smile. Getting to his feet, he said, “Destroy it, Skorge!”

Behind Jessica was Ryan’s Sandslash, the Team Rocket girl’s remote control in its claws. With a single snap, it ripped the little slab of metal in half.

“Noooooo!!!” Jessica screamed wildly. “You idiots! Do you realize what you’ve done?!”

“Not exactly,” Ryan replied, “but I don’t care. Skorge, capture her!”

Jessica seethed and bared her teeth again, but as soon as the Sandslash charged at her, she went running off, back towards the elevator. A coward to the end. “Go after her!” Ryan shouted at Rahul.

“But I don’t have any Pokémon left!” Dang it all!

Ryan was about to run after her when he saw the Mew again, hovering amongst the smoke and ash as the room started to burn around it. From behind, the three Painted Dragons gathered their things and ran off in the other direction, towards a door leading further into the bunker. Though the fires were rising, Ryan felt suddenly at peace. His eyes met the Mew’s in that burning world, and the smoke seemed to part.

“Go,” he said to it, “leave, quick! Get out of here before she comes back! Go!” The Mew didn’t move, instead cocking its head to study Ryan curiously. “Don’t you get it?! You’re free, so get out of here! Please, before she gets back!” Ryan raised his hands and unlocked the electric collar around the Pokémon’s neck. The metal device fell from it and landed on the carpet with a dull clang. “You’re free now, Mew. Go back to where you came from.”

“Mew…!”

“I’m sorry she was mean to you,” Ryan said, reaching up his hand to run it through the Mew’s fur, past its scabs and mats. “I swear, not all of us are like that…”

“Mew.” The Mew’s eyes glimmered a light shade of blue. It moved back, and in a flash, the legendary Pokémon disappeared, leaving Ryan alone, his hand extended in surprise, in that burning room. Bye Mew. I hope you can return to your old life and find happiness again.

He found Rose at the elevator, leaning up against a wall, picking at her fingernails. “That girl you were looking for came by here,” she said, not looking up. “Took the elevator back to ground level. I couldn’t stop her. Rahul went after her.”

“Let’s go,” Ryan said. “There’s no time!”

And so they went, like glass onions floating down the Styx. When they reached the surface, Ryan immediately sprinted out of the elevator. Leaving Rose behind, he pushed his way past the people in the Pokémon food store and stumbled outside, where the Painted Dragons and Team Rocket members were still fighting. Skorge is my only Pokémon left. I have to be careful. I can’t let Jessica get away.

He would have never found her in that dusty chaos if not for her hair. In the distance, he spotted her long purple hair, pulled back and wrapped up, bounding away. It didn’t take him long to run her down. On down the far street of Viridian City, past most of the fighting, where the Viridian Forest crept up against civilization, Jessica raced.

“Yeaaaaaah Skorge, get ‘em!”

Ryan’s Sandslash appeared in a burst of light in front of Jessica, standing between her and the forest. The girl stopped running and spun around to face her pursuer.

Breathing hard and smiling, she panted, “I have to hand it to you, kid. You don’t know when to give up. I like that. Why don’t you join Team Rocket and become my new right hand man?”

“Thanks, but no way!” Ryan shouted. “I don’t want anything to do with that crummy organization!”

Jessica’s smile turned to a scowl. She grabbed a Poké Ball of her own and threw it, producing her Haunter. “Take that back, kid.”

“Never.”

Jessica took out another Poké Ball and threw it, this time bringing out her Slowbro. “Fool. You have made a serious mistake provoking my wrath! I’ll hurt you for that.”

Ryan gulped. Skorge has no chance against two Pokémon! Outwardly, he didn’t let his fear show. “Your words mean nothing to me, Jessica! If this is how it’s going to be, I’ll just beat you again!” He unshouldered his backpack, knelt down, and pulled out a beige 24-faced polyhedron. “I hate you, you know that?! You’re gonna make me use a really expensive potion!” Holding the Max Revive in his hand, Ryan wondered which Pokémon he should revive. Thurnax is my strongest Pokémon… but if she has an ice attack…

Ryan had settled on reviving NaVorro when, out of nowhere, a shadow fell across his face. Looking over his shoulder, the boy noticed Dylan standing there, coated in dirt and sweat. He was frowning at Jessica. “Recall your Pokémon, Ryan.”

“But why-”

“Just do it!”

You don’t have to yell, man. Ryan sighed and obeyed Dylan, and his Skorge returned to him.

“Two versus one? That doesn’t seem fair,” Jessica mused, eyeing the boys.

“You didn’t seem to care about those odds before,” Ryan pointed out.

Jessica gave him a hateful look. Yeah, do that all you want. It won’t bring back Mew. You’re never getting that Pokémon back.

“You’re the one who caused all the problems in this town, aren’t you?” Dylan asked her.

Jessica raised her chin and folded her arms. “That’s none of your business, kid.”

“All this fighting between Team Rocket and the Painted Dragons is because of you,” Dylan continued. “You’ve brought chaos to Viridian.”

“I don’t care.”

“I bet you don’t.” Dylan looked to the sky and whistled. A second later, a shadow appeared, stretching across the ground as large as a house. Pidgeot! Wow! Ryan’s fingers were trembling. “Pidgeot” Dylan shouted at his flying Pokémon, “send this rotten girl as far away from here as you can!” Turning his focus back to Jessica, Dylan spoke calmly, “I don’t want to ever see you in my town again. If I do, I’ll have you arrested… for a very long time.”

Jessica looked none too pleased. “Haunty, Hypnosis attack now!”

“Pidgeooooooooot!” Dylan’s Pokémon screeched nobly. At once, it lowered to just in front of Jessica, her Haunter, and her Slowbro. Flapping its wings furiously, the Pidgeot conjured up a vortex of air, spinning it towards Jessica. At the last moment, the purple-haired girl screamed. And then, she was thrust into the air with her Pokémon, howling and cursing the boys below her, until she faded to a twinkle in the empty azure sky.


By evening, peace had been restored to Viridian City. Most of the Painted Dragons and Team Rocket members had been arrested by Officer Jennys (due to the crisis, Officer Jennys from miles around had come to help in the administration of justice) or had fled into the forest. Ryan watched Mr. Mimes patrolling the streets, sweeping up the dust and broken glass and other refuse that had spread across the streets and sidewalks during the battle. Glancing over his shoulder, he looked for Nurse Joy, but she was not there behind the counter. She’ll return as soon as all of my Pokémon are healed. Then I can go back to the gym for another showdown with Dylan…

“You did really good today Skorge,” Ryan said, patting his only remaining Pokémon on the head. “Nice work buddy.”

“Slash, sand, sand!” Ryan thought it was good to see his Sandslash full of such vigor. He’s so quiet all the time. Hopefully he starts trusting me more now that we’ve battled a few times together. I’m not like Jesse… but that should be a good thing.

Up ahead, in the corner of the Pokémon Center, on couches, Logan and Rahul had collapsed to watch some Doctor Who. Alex was in the food court in the far corner of the building, probably ordering another cucumber to go with his rice and dumplings.

“Hey Ryan.” That voice sounds familiar.

Standing up, Ryan faced the Viridian City Gym Leader. “Dylan? What are you doing here?”

“Giving you this,” the other boy said, holding out his hand, palm up. On it was a tiny green charm, shaped like a type of plant Ryan did not know. The badge seemed to shimmer and sparkle in the dwindling rust-red light of evening.

“B-but… I didn’t beat you,” Ryan replied, his eyes wide. “Our fight was interrupted, remember?”

“I know. But it was pretty clear you were going to win that battle,” Dylan said. “So here, take it.”

There were tears in Ryan’s eyes when he did. “Thank you…! You don’t know how much this means to me!”

Dylan turned to leave. A sly smile formed on his lips. “Trust me… I do. But you earned it, Ryan. And you helped us fight off Team Rocket and the Painted Dragons. We couldn’t have done it without you. For that you have my thanks.”

“I’ll be back one day,” Ryan assured the other boy. “I still wanna test my Pokémon against that Pidgeot of yours.”

“Mmm. I’ll be waiting, dude. Good luck in the tournament. You have seven days before it begins.”

And with that, Dylan walked away, leaving Ryan there with his badge and his thoughts and his single Pokémon. This is what I set out to do, the boy thought. When I left home with nothing but an Abra, my goal was to get all eight Gym Badges to compete in the Indigo League like my father before me. Now he had the eight badges. But Abra’s gone, and dad doesn’t approve of me being a Pokémon trainer…

Ryan sighed, trying to clear his thoughts. In his chest, something was rising. Was it happiness or relief? He did not know. Either way, Ryan walked back over to the couches to watch some Doctor Who with the others. We’ll have to stay long enough for Rahul to get his Earth Badge too. But otherwise, Ryan was now free to train for the Indigo League, to prepare for his stiffest opposition yet. I have seven days.

Kelly’s been training her Pokémon for weeks… maybe months… just for this tournament. And I only have a week. The boy didn’t like his prospects. Well, maybe I won’t win it all, but hopefully I can at least win a match or two and then I can cheer Kelly on the rest of the way, he thought to himself.

I’ll see her again soon, Ryan knew. Perhaps I’ll find her somewhere on Victory Road, or if not, at the tournament itself. He looked down at his hands and saw that they were trembling again in his lap. I’m not ready. But when have I ever been?


Ryan spent the next morning training his Pokébuddies on wild Arboks, Fearows, and Pinsirs in the Viridian Forest. When it was time to go watch Rahul try his luck in the normal/flying gym, Ryan gathered up his balls and trekked back into the city. That was when he beheld a most curious sight.

There was a man, an old man, a crusty man, a hobo clutching a gherkin, lying in the road, collapsed like a sleeping Snorlax. He had a long brown beard braided into several ponytails, wore a black-and-grey fedora, and had a pair of cheap plastic sunglasses shielding his eyes. He was, unfortunately, blocking the path. Ryan just couldn’t find a way around the man, be it by walking around him or jumping over him. Such mechanics don’t exist in the Pokémon games, alas.

“Yo man, you’re in the road!” Ryan said forcefully, waking the old wispy hobo.

“Ahhh… what?!”

“You’re blocking my way!”

“Why don’t we do it in the road?!” the man yelped suddenly, his voice like broken glass on a desolate highway in the desert. “Why don’t we do it in the road?! Why don’t we doooooooooooo iiiiiiiiiiit in the road?” he sang angrily. Sitting up, rubbing his eyes, he looked at Ryan and said, “Oh.”

This man, like all other adults I’ve ever met, is insane. “Do what?”

Yawning, the man said, “Uh, can you get me a coffee, kid? I really need one.” The hobo picked at something in his beard and ate it. “It’s my coffee for the day, go get it!”

“Yeah, I’m not doing that. Even if I wanted to, you’re blocking the way back into the city.”

“Ah… that blows.” He furrowed his brow, thinking for several moments. Without warning, the hobo grumbled, “Go to Pewter and get me some coffee from there, okay? And run all the way back. I want it nice and hot.”

“No way man.”

“If you do that, I’ll teach you how to catch your first Pokémon, kid.” The hobo’s face was ruddy and dirty, but it lit up when he said that.

“Yeah… no thanks. I already have eight gym badges, so I think I’m good.”

“Curse you and the Rapidash you rode in on!” the hobo complained. “I need my coffee!”

“Then go get it, man.”

“Nah, I’m good…” The old man leaned back, putting his hands behind his head, and started nodding back off to sleep.

Unbelievable. Doesn’t he understand the physics of this universe? “Hey?! Are you gonna move or what?”

“Are you gonna get me my coffee?” the man asked without opening his eyes.

“No.”

“There’s your answer.”

“That’s it, I challenge you to a Pokémon battle! NaVorro, get rid of this faker!” Ryan shouted, choosing his Tauros for this fight. NaVorro is a rock. He’s cool, collected, and never gives up. He’ll beat that hobo all the way back to Timbuktu.

The man yawned and pulled a Poké Ball out of his pants’ pocket. The Pokémon that shot out of his ball was none other than a Lickitung.

“Huh, a Lickitung? That’s random!” Ryan said, taking out his Pokédex. “Yo Dex, tell me the goods on this one.”

“Of course my man, my main man, Ryan the Great, a master who is way past cool and so forth. Lickitung, the Licking Pokémon. Its tongue spans almost 7 feet and moves more freely than its forelegs. Its licks can cause paralysis.”

“Gross,” Ryan said. “Okay, NaVorro, use Earthquake!”

NaVorro, ever the stoic, leal warrior, did just that. The ground shook, a nearby tree fell over, and the dirt road cracked and split. The hobo rolled like a cucumber a few feet down the path towards Viridian City to avoid the attack. Lickitung absorbed the blow poorly, shrieking and flailing its tongue all over the place (Ryan had to jump over the wild tongue as if it were a jump rope to avoid getting licked).

“Lick that bull, yeah!” The hobo’s voice was cracked and old, but Ryan could detect some glee in it. I wonder if I’ll get like that when I’m that old.

“Licki!!” The tub of pink lard darted forward like a praying mantis, but stopped just short of NaVorro. Then, delicately, it opened its mouth and unraveled its tongue. The bull Pokémon stamped its foot impatiently. That won’t hurt NaVorro, Ryan thought confidently. He’s not so weak.

It came as a pink blur, reminding Ryan of Celadon City. The tongue unfurled like a banner and dragged itself across NaVorro’s face. Then, NaVorro collapsed.

“NaVorro the Tauros has been paralyzed my most magnificent master!”

“Seriously?!” Ryan felt his face growing hot with rage. Just my luck.

“Tackle it, Lickitung, eh?” the hobo grunted, and his Pokémon was happy to obey.

One Tackle was all it took for NaVorro to go down. He’s tired from fighting all those wild Pokémon, but that’s no excuse to lose to some random old man like that… this is terrible! My worst loss ever!

“I challenge you to a rematch!” Ryan declared, returning his Tauros. “This time, you’ll face my Dragonite!”

“Oh wow, no way man. That’s not cool. I gotta split. I gotta fly. Catch ya later, cretin!”

And so the man ran off, the dust puffing up behind him, towards the rising sun.

“Wow… that was uncalled for.” Ryan stood there, his mouth agape, unsure of what had just taken place.

“I agree master, he was a bad man, a horrible man, a no-good rotten human, and I hate him, etc.” Dex said.

“That’ll do, Dexy boy, that’ll do.”

Ryan was about to walk back towards the city when he saw a white canister rolling down the road. That hobo must’ve dropped it. He was about to call after the running man, but then he remembered the names that guy had called him. Plus, he only beat me with cheap tricks.

The boy leaned down, picking up the canister. Inspecting its cap, he read the words ‘Body Slam’ stamped on it in thick Arial font. Just what I need. Yeah. That’s karma for you, man. Making sure no Officer Jenny was eavesdropping from behind a tree or something, Ryan grinned cheekily and pocketed the TM. Now I only need to find Explosion, and I’ll have every TM for my Pokémon team, he thought with glee.

Feeling a sudden burst of energy and excitement, Ryan ran down the path, back towards Viridian City, where one of his best friends in the whole wide world was about get his eighth badge. Even if he wasn’t there to watch me get mine, I’ll be there for him.

Episode 33: Marmalade Skies

Fresh off his most recent victory, Rahul led the gang west from Viridian City towards Victory Road and the Indigo League. They spent much of the morning training their Pokémon teams on wild Pokémon on Route 22; and by noon, the four boys could spot a large building in the distance, poking up over the trees, with a massive onyx-and-gold gate.

“That must be the entrance to the Indigo League!” Ryan said excitedly. “Come on!”

They picked up their pace and avoided the rest of the tall grass. Coming to a bend in the road just before the gate, Ryan heard a strange groaning sound emanating from a nearby tree, followed by a rustling of leaves and the snapping of several branches. Must be a big Pokémon up there, he guessed.

Stopping after just telling the others to pick up the pace, Ryan approached the twisted oak to get a better look at the fearsome Pokémon he knew was lurking inside. I bet it’s a Pidgeot… or maybe a Moltres! “Alright, Pokémon! Get ready, I’m going to catch you!”

“You have got to be kidding me!” came her voice from behind a veil of viridian leaves.

Jessica? “Huh? What are you doing here?”

“Leave me alone. Go away,” the Team Rocket girl grumbled from the tree.

Ryan stepped forward and noticed that she was stuck in the tree, flipped upside down, her purple hair unwound and splayed everywhere like seafoam. She gave him a particularly nasty scowl when she saw him. Her two Pokémon - Haunter and Slowbro - were tangled in the branches and leaves higher up in the tree, like stuck Tepig. At the base of the tree, partially obscured by dead foxtails, was Jessica’s bag, which held her other Poké Balls.

“Nice tree.”

“Shut up.”

Ryan beamed. Getting on his tiptoes, he reached a finger up to the girl, poking her lightly on the cheek.

“H-hey?! What was that for?!” Jessica’s voice was raw and guarded.

“Yesterday you said I couldn’t touch you,” Ryan told the girl. “I guess that was another lie.”

The girl’s face went purple. “W-why… you!!”

“Seeya around, Jessica.” Ryan walked off waving, but did not look back. Behind him, the other three boys, who had been watching this exchange with muted awe, came running up to follow him. Man, she’s gonna be so mad when she gets out of that tree, Ryan thought, chuckling. Hopefully that’s not for a long time.

Logan and Alex were discussing Logan’s backstory behind Ryan (Alex was grilling the other boy like it was a police investigation), but the teal-haired boy didn’t care enough to listen in. He had just won his eighth Gym Badge. He was invincible. No one can touch me. Rahul walked on Ryan’s left, humming something Alex would need to utilize falsetto to properly sing.

“I’m going to win the Indigo League.” Ryan’s voice was defiant.

“Yeah, sure Ryan. I have a stronger team, more experience, and better hair,” Rahul replied, running his fingers through his hair dramatically. “I’m going to win.”

“Well, both of us can’t win.”

“That’s because I’m going to beat you.”

“Oh yeah?!” Ryan raised his fist. “How about we settle this right now?”

Rahul grinned, his goatee looking as handsome as ever. “Seriously, Ryan?! You get distracted so easily.”

“Chicken,” Ryan replied, narrowing his eyes.

“What did you call me?”

“You heard me, Ponyta-lover.”

Rahul frowned, reaching for a Poké Ball. Ryan’s was already in his hand. It’s time he was reminded of how good I am. They stopped in the middle of the road, staring down one another like this was a punchup at a wedding. This is serious business.

Yet, before they could throw their Poké Balls, a woman’s voice came calling to them from across the road. “Hello trainers! Over here! This way!”

Puzzled, Ryan peered over towards the massive gate. From there, a middle-aged woman was striding towards them. She wore a red undershirt, a blue coat, a dark, short skirt, black high heels, and a wide pair of glasses. Her hair was red and pulled back, as were her eyes, Ryan realized, when the woman got closer. Nice bod. He looked her up and down (but mostly up) and felt his ears going red by the time the woman reached the group of boys.

“Helloooo…” Ryan said warmly to her.

The woman ignored his comment and spoke, “Are you boys here for the Indigo League sign-ups?” Ryan and Rahul nodded sheepishly. “I’ll need to see your badges.” They took out their booklets and flashed the woman their eight badges apiece. She’s gotta like that. I have all eight badges. I’m a great Pokémon Master! But the woman looked the badges over with indifference, as if she had seen 254 other such booklets. Then, she reached for two Poké Balls from her belt. “Alright, everything seems to be in order. Are those two with you?” she asked, focusing her eyes on Alex and Logan.

“Oh yeah, they’re our friends,” Rahul said carelessly.

“Very well. To get into the Indigo League, you have to beat me in a Pokémon battle,” she told the other two. “I’ll battle both of you at once. Each of you may use only one Pokémon. Do you understand?”

Ryan already had a ball in his hand. She’s gonna fall for me when she sees how strong my Dragonite is. “Let’s do this!” he said confidently.

“I’m the doctor!!” declared Rahul. “So basically… run.”

She didn’t listen to a word Rahul said. “Please state your names before we get underway so I may properly catalogue your performances.”

“I’m Ryan. I’m a great Pokémon Mast-”

“I’m Rahul,” Rahul interrupted, “you already know me as the doctor.”

“I see. My name is Prima. I am a member of the Kanto Elite 4,” she spoke calmly. Wow… Elite 4?! Ryan vaguely remembered Dex telling him something about the Elite 4. They’re some of the best fighters in all of Kanto! His ears were burning now. Prima cracked her neck and whipped her hair back and forth. “No one can best me when it comes to icy Pokémon! Freezing moves are powerful! Your Pokémon will be at my mercy when they are frozen solid! Hahaha! Are you ready?”

The two boys nodded, and four Poké Balls were thrown into the air. Thurnax and Rahul’s Charizard appeared on one side; a Dewgong and a Cloyster appeared on the other. Man, her Cloyster’s huge! It’s twice the size of Myrrah! The Pokémon took their places - Thurnax was put up against the Dewgong, while Rahul’s Charizard was set to duel the Cloyster.

“Dewgong, Aurora Beam. Cloyster, Clamp attack!” Prima ordered her Pokémon.

“Fire Blast, Charizard!” Rahul shouted.

“Wrap that Dewgong up, Thurnax!”

And thus they were off. To Ryan’s left, Charizard’s flame attack went roaring by, while the Cloyster attempted to close the gap and clamp its hard shell down upon its foe. Ahead, Thurnax soared through the air before landing in front of Dewgong. The Dragonite spun around, wrapping its tail around the Sea Lion Pokémon before it could unleash its Aurora Beam.

“Squeeze that sucker, yeah!” Ryan cried shrilly.

Thurnax did just that; its Wrap squeezed once, then twice, then three times, and then a fourth time before the Dewgong broke free, sending Thurnax flying back into the dirt. As the Dragonite tried to stand, she was hit in the chest by the ice beam. Thurnax let out a cry and fell over again.

That’s not good, Ryan thought. Ice attacks do ridiculous damage to Dragonites… Thurnax got to her feet again, though she was breathing hard and covered in bruises. I don’t think she can take another hit! “Alright, Thurnax! Time for the big finale! Hyper Beam!”

“Rrraaahh!” Thurnax bellowed, flapping her wings and taking to the sky once again. A glowing white beam of energy formed around her mouth.

Prima glanced over at Ryan and Thurnax. “One more Aurora Beam to finish that Dragonite off. Do it, Dewgong!”

“Gong, gong!” the Pokémon wheezed, preparing a shimmering opalescent beam of its own. Thurnax is faster, Ryan knew. Her attack hit first last time. He clenched his fists and prayed that she wouldn’t miss. Hyper Beam was pretty reliable, but it was not totally reliable, and if there was one thing Ryan had learned on his quest to become a Pokémon Master, it was that bad luck followed him around like a brilliant Asian boy who had at least three younger brothers.

“Come on, Thurnax, come on!” he was whispering to himself when the Dragon Pokémon unleashed her attack. The whole route seemed to burst with blinding white light; Ryan couldn’t see a thing. To his left, he felt the warmth of another Fire Blast leave Charizard’s mouth. Rahul’s got it in the bag. Fire attacks destroy Ice Pokémon.

When the light cleared, Thurnax slammed into the ground, landing on two feet. In front of her, the Dewgong remained where it had been before, a dazed look on its face, the Aurora Beam charging up still. Dang. The Hyper Beam wasn’t powerful enough. Ryan winced, preparing for the worst.

Dewgong fell over, and its beam shot uselessly into the sky. The Sea Lion Pokémon did not get up.

To the left, Cloyster had also collapsed, its hard shell smoking and charred.

“We… we did it!” Ryan yelled, almost in disbelief.

“Return Cloyster. Return Dewgong.” Prima studied the two boys. “I’ll let you through to Route 23 now. The tunnel to Victory Road is at the end of that route. Most of the other tournament contestants are spending their time training their Pokémon either on Route 23 or in Victory Road. I suggest you do the same. The wild Pokémon that inhabit those places are the strongest in Kanto.”

Rahul turned around to the peanut gallery, who hadn’t even been watching the fight. I wonder why they’re arguing about Logan’s past. Why does Alex care so much? “Come on Alex, let’s go.”

“Alright,” Alex said coolly, stepping away from Logan and following the other two boys (who were following Prima) past the gate, where Route 23 branched off north from Route 22. Ryan was at Prima’s heels, following her like a loyal Growlithe. Man she’s fine. When I win the Indigo League… Ryan shook his head. I gotta stay focused. I have one week to train my Pokémon…

Back in school, a week had always seemed like an eternity - five days of boring classes and all that homework. But now, Ryan would have killed to have an extra month or two. It’s not fair. I should get as much time to train my Pokémon as everyone else. He sighed. But the world’s not fair.

The five of them marched past the gate, into the Indigo League headquarters, where guards, trainers, and passersby were milling about. Prima entered Ryan’s and Rahul’s information into a computer, took their pictures, printed a picture ID card for each of them to wear around their necks (Ryan tried his best not to look too grateful when he took his), and led them to the other side of the building, where another gate stood. Blinding white-yellow light was seeping in through the cracks between the metal bars.

“This is it,” the woman said. “Route 23. Head north past Victory Road and you’ll find the Indigo Plateau. Your IDs will tell you which rooms you’re staying in.”

“Wait, what do you mean?” Ryan asked.

“Oh, as a reward for getting all eight Kanto badges, you and Rahul will be given free rooms to stay in plus free meals for the duration of the tournament.”

“Now we’re talkin’!” Rahul grunted.

“Yeaaaah!” Ryan agreed. “But what about Alex and Logan?”

Prima shrugged. “They can stay with you if you want. Or they can rent their own hotel rooms.”

“What about free meals?”

“Nope.”

“Dang. Oh well,” Ryan glanced back at Alex and Logan and shook his head. Turning back to Rahul, he said, “Alright, let’s go!”

And without waiting to hear what Rahul had to say, Ryan raced forward, thrusting open the gates to Route 23 as he ran.


On Route 23, the gang split up. Alex told the others he had some business to attend to, while Logan disappeared like gossamer on the wind. Rahul thought it would be best if he and Ryan trained by themselves, at least for the first few days. Thus, the teal-haired boy was left all alone. Around him, trainers battled wild Pokémon by the dozens. There’re so many… A cold sweat ran down his spine. He had thought he was unique having won all eight badges. Looks like getting those badges is easier than I thought.

Fearow circled in the skies. Blastoise, Poliwrath, Hitmonlee, Nidoking and Nidoqueen, Rhydon, and countless other Pokémon wandered the grounds, fighting one another or wild Pokémon in the tall grass. Ryan had never seen this many Pokémon before. The sight of it all took his breath away.

“Hey, wanna battle?” a dark-skinned boy with blond, spiky hair asked, running up to Ryan.

The boy shrugged. “Sure.”

“Go Venusaur!”

“Myrrah, I choose you!”

“A Cloyster, huh?” The other boy scratched his chin. “Alright Venu, try a Razor Leaf!”

“Blizzard, Cloyster!”

It was over in an instant. Coated in frost, snow, and a few crooked icicles, the Venusaur moaned before collapsing. “Wow, your Cloyster’s very powerful!” the other boy said. “I’m Ronny, by the way. It was nice battling you.”

“Ryan,” our protagonist replied, shaking Ronny’s hand. “Nice to meet you.”

“Maybe we’ll see each other in the tournament, huh?”

“Yeah, maybe.”

“Well, I gotta go train some more, see ya!” And with that, Ronny sprinted off under an archway and disappeared around a corner.

I beat another person in the tournament. It had been a 1v1, but that was a good sign. These people aren’t invincible. Moving on under archways, across a pool of water, and through tall grass, Ryan battled a slew of wild Pokémon and other trainers, racking up victories and defeats too numerous to count. He felt like, by the end of it, he had won more than he had lost, but every one of his Pokémon aside from Aegon had fainted in the process. That’s what happens when you battle a lot. He’d have to get to a Pokémon Center.

But until then, he had Aegon, as fresh as summer cilantro. “Go, buddy!” he shouted, letting out his last conscious Pokéwarrior. In truth, he had potions to revive the others, but those were really expensive, and he didn’t like using them unless he had to. Locating a Pokémon Center in the distance, past two more archways, tucked away in a corner next to a cave, he knew he wouldn’t have to use his revives. I’ll be going there soon. But not yet.

From above, a Fearow howled, casting its shadow over Ryan. He ignored that ugly bird and began trekking through a patch of tall grass. A moment later, he tripped over a sleeping Primeape, and a battle was upon the boy and his Charizard.

“Primeaaaaaaaaaaaape!” it shouted furiously, beating its chest and charging at the Charizard.

“Easy Aegon… use Earthquake!”

“Graaahahaha!” the Fire Pokémon bellowed, stomping the ground and shaking it violently. The Primeape fell back, swirly eyes covering its face. Ryan’s stomach rumbled. I could go for a croissant right about now… with extra cream… The Primeape was not done, though. It looked rather angry now, its eyes bloodshot and wide. Screaming, the beast charged again.

“Another Earthquake!” Ryan didn’t want to risk using a less accurate attack on this beast, and he knew that another Earthquake would be enough to finish it off.

That was when Ryan felt something crash against his back and throw him forward into the grass. The ground cracked and rumbled beneath him; he flipped over to find what had hit him. Who did that?! Only a coward attacks from behind!

“Hey!” Ryan shouted wildly, stumbling to his feet. The Primeape collapsed, fainting right in front of the boy. “Can’t you see I’m in the middle of a battle?! Wait your turn!”

But there was no one there - no trainer, no Pokémon… just the Fearow circling overhead. Come to think of it, that Fearow’s been following me the entire time, hasn’t it? He looked around, finding other Fearow, but none were circling over trainers or chasing them around. Most were soaring through the bright blue sky or perched in trees, relaxed, but watchful. The one above Ryan was furiously cawing over and over again. There’s something wrong with that one.

Shaking his head, Ryan walked a few more paces in the tall grass until he stumbled upon an Arbok.

“Saaaaaaaaaaaaaaaabakkku!!” it hissed at him.

“Earthquake,” Ryan ordered his Charizard. The Arbok shrieked and collapsed from the super effective damage. “Great work buddy, you’re doing really good!” he said, patting his Fire Pokémon on the shoulder. “You’re gonna be really powerful once we-”

Again, Ryan felt something hit him in the back, and he fell forward, spinning into the grass. Aegon roared and shot a Fire Blast at something. Spitting up dirt, the teal-haired trainer rubbed the sore spot on his shoulder and looked around for the culprit. What’s going on?! I don’t get it… Once again, there was no one nearby. The closest people were two boys battling their Gyarados in a crystal blue pool to the west. Ryan thought he saw Rahul strolling through the trimmed grass in the distance, a twelve-scoop ice cream cone in either hand melting down his broad forearms.

For a moment, Ryan was distracted. In that moment, he was thrust to the ground again. This time, he felt the flapping of wings against his neck, and a single hideous brown feather drifted down from the air to land right in front of his face in the grass. Ryan knew what kind of Pokémon had those feathers. The worst kind in the world.

“Whoa, look out!” A girl’s voice, high-pitched and firm, drifted across the grass. For one mad moment, Ryan thought it was Kelly, and then he saw her. Blonde-haired was she, tall and willowy and rosy-cheeked, and she wore a frilled dress of pink-and-white. “Watch it, duck!”

Ryan did so, and a moment later, the Fearow came screaming at him, missing by inches.

“Fire Blast it, Ninetails,” the girl commanded. At her side was a white fox Pokémon. It opened its mouth and spit a raging inferno at the flying Fearow.

The Beak Pokémon was hit in the wing by the Fire Blast. It let out a shrill cry before falling, smoking and twirling, into the trees beyond the path, to the east. Wow, her Ninetails is amazing.

“Thanks,” Ryan muttered when the girl reached him.

“That was weird, wasn’t it? Why was that Fearow attacking you? It didn’t even go after your Charizard, just you… it’s like it had it out for you. I’ve never seen anything like it.”

“Yeah, I have no idea what was going on in that dumb bird’s mind.”

“I’m Julia by the way,” the girl said, holding out her hand.

I’ve shaken a hundred hands today, and I remember almost none of their names. But Ryan knew he would remember this girl’s name, for obvious reasons. “Nice to meet you. My name’s Ryan,” he said for the thousandth time. “Cool Ninetails.”

She giggled at that. “I’ve raised him since I was a little girl. I hope he can help me win the tournament!” Everyone wants to win, Ryan thought glumly. Why can’t they all just be happy to have made it this far? I’d rather fight disinterested trainers. He realized she was still talking and nodded his head, as if to agree with whatever she was saying. Chicks dig that. “So how about it, do you wanna?” she asked.

I have no idea what she’s asking me. But Ryan couldn’t exactly tell Julia that he hadn’t been paying attention to her blabbering, so he said, “Yeah, sure.”

“Ninetails, here boy!” she shouted suddenly, slapping her thigh. Her Fox Pokémon, which had begun wandering off to sniff the nearby tall grass, came galloping back over to her side. “Don’t go too hard on me,” she said, smiling. “I don’t want Tails to get hurt.”

Oh, we’re battling. Okay then. “Not a problem.”

Once they were lined up, the fight began. At first, Julia ordered her Ninetails to use Confuse Ray. Ryan ordered his Charizard to use Earthquake, but alas Aegon was all out of PP for that move. Ryan didn’t know what PP was, but it seemed pretty serious, so instead, he had his Fire Pokémon use Fire Blast.

The Fire Blast hit the Ninetails, but it didn’t do that much damage. That’s bound to happen when two Fire Pokémon battle. A moment later, the Ninetails leapt forward, shooting a Confuse Ray at Aegon. It him in the neck, causing the Charizard to shriek in dismay.

“Oh no my most melon-brained master, Aegon the Charizard has become confused!” Dex droned.

Curses. Ninetails’ next attack was a Body Slam, while Aegon merely hurt himself in his confusion. Ryan was tempted to remove the Confusion with a Full Heal, but thought better of it. Those potions cost a fortune. My pride is not worth so much. So it went on for a few more turns, Ninetails using Body Slam and Fire Blast while Aegon hurt himself a few times in his confusion. His Fire Blasts that did get through did some decent damage though. By the time the Confusion wore off, it looked like Aegon and Tails were each one hit from fainting.

“Fire Blast, Aegon!”

“Fire Blast, Tails!”

One attack hit, and the other missed. Just my luck, Ryan thought miserably as he watched Aegon collapse in the grass, unconscious. The Ninetails barked triumphantly, waving its many tails around. Julia jumped in the air, shouting with glee, thanked Ryan, and ran off. If it weren’t for luck…

Feeling a little peeved, Ryan gathered his Poké Balls and marched off towards the Pokémon Center. He didn’t shake one more person’s hand or even acknowledge anyone else when they introduced themselves to him. He just made a beeline for the Pokémon Center. Why me? Why does it always have to be my Pokémon who misses? No one else ever misses that much. It’s not fair!

When he came to the Pokémon Center, Ryan reached for the door, to pull it open. It opened on its own, and a trainer stepped out into the light of day. “Oh. Ryan. So you finally made it,” she said, a sly look on her face.

Ryan’s lips went numb, and it took all of his strength to not just stand there in shock. He said, “H-hey… Kelly. How are you?”

“Well enough,” the pink-haired girl said, stepping away from the door. Ryan noticed she had a Poké Ball in her hand. “And you?”

“Good.”

“It took you long enough,” the older girl said sharply. “I thought you weren’t going to make it.”

“Hey!” Ryan’s face went red. “I only had three badges when you got your eighth! I got the other five really fast, too. I bet I got them faster than you!”

“Psh,” Kelly breathed, shaking her head. “So you’re just as clueless and arrogant as before.”

Inside the cage in his chest, Ryan’s heart fell. “Aw… come on, Kelly!”

“Do you want to battle?”

“I can’t. All my Pokémon fainted.”

“Typical.” Kelly flicked a strand of hair out of her eyes. “Well, when you get your team healed up, I’ll be waiting. My own team’s changed since I last saw you. It’s much stronger now.”

“Do you think you’re gonna win?”

“I’m going to win,” Kelly repeated. There’s fire in her eyes. She really wants this. “I have trained too hard and for too long to lose. Most of the kids in the tournament are ten years old. I like my chances.”

“Not me.” I’m nearly a man grown.

She looked him over and laughed humorlessly. “You may not be ten, but you act like it. Sorry,” she said quickly, seeing Ryan’s crestfallen look, “I’m just a little anxious… you know, the tournament and all. I have to win, Ryan. I have to.”

“I know,” the boy replied. “I wanna win too.”

“You’ll do good,” Kelly assured Ryan, putting a hand on his shoulder. “I’ve seen you battle, kid. You have a lot of heart.” Kid? Is that all I am to you?

“Th-thanks.”

“Anyways, I better get back to training,” Kelly said, holding up her Poké Ball. “The tournament’s in a week. Not much time left.”

“Yeah… not much time left.”

Ryan watched her trek off towards the tall grass in the distance. She’s so serious, he thought. I didn’t think the Indigo League meant that much to her. He thought of his father, and how he had spent four years trying to win a second match in the league. He didn’t even want to win the whole thing. He just wanted to win another battle… and he couldn’t even manage that.

Ryan sighed and opened the door to the Pokémon Center. I’ll be more like Kelly, he decided, not like dad. I’ll set my goals a little higher. He had never thought he could win the tournament. There were too many experienced trainers, he knew. But does it really hurt to hope? If I try to win the whole thing, maybe I’ll push myself and my Pokémon a little harder, and maybe we’ll do a little better.

He had boasted openly about winning the tournament before, but in his heart, Ryan had never believed he had a chance. There’s not much time left, but I guess I’ll start believing now. And maybe something will come of it.


They sure are fast, Ryan thought, bemused. The door with his name on it was the most beautiful thing he had ever seen in the past hour. The one to the left of his had ‘Rahul’ written on it, and the door at the far end of the hall had ‘Kelly’ scrawled upon it. That was good. They were on the third floor of the Indigo Plateau hotel. Ryan had looked for Kelly’s room before his own, and he had been rather pleased to find that they were on the same floor, even if their rooms weren’t that close.

Opening the door with his picture ID, Ryan found Logan asleep in his bed, tucked in and cozy. He was snoring softly. Are you kidding me?! This is my room! That’s my bed! Next to the bed was a cot with a blanket and a single pillow. That’s his. He knew it was, and he took my bed anyways.

Silently fuming, Ryan walked over to the hotel room’s phone and dialed the number he had dialed a hundred times before. Don’t pick up, he hoped. Please, just this once.

The call went to the answering machine, causing Ryan to breathe a sigh of relief. “Hey mom,” he said after the beep, “it’s me. Just letting you know that I got into the Indigo League. The tournament starts a week from today, so if you want… I mean, you and dad can come watch me if you want. I’d like that,” he said earnestly. “I-if you can’t make it, don’t worry. It’s okay. I don’t think I’ll get that far in the tournament. Anyways, I hope everyone is well, and please let my Pokémon know that I’m thinking of them, if you can. Thanks. Have a good night, mom.” He didn’t know what else to say, so Ryan hung up awkwardly.

Sighing again, Ryan stretched his back, feeling the soreness in his muscles expand and burn through his body. That stupid Fearow. Why did it attack me? He stole another glance at the sleeping Logan and had half a mind to just go over to him, pull him from the bed, and shove him on the cot.

Sometimes he wished he had the courage of his father.

Walking into the bathroom, Ryan wondered what he could say to Kelly to make her like him… or even respect me a little more. She looks down on me, just like everyone else. There was a breeze in the bathroom, so unnatural that the boy immediately noticed. He found the bathroom window open and was going to shut it when his mind began to wander again. What if she came in through the bathroom window, he wondered hopefully. He didn’t even know who she was - Olivia, Prima, Julia, Nurse Joy, Sydney… They all blurred into one woman in his mind, faceless, formless, without warmth. They aren’t Kelly.

I love you, she had said that night on Cinnabar Island after drinking too much orange juice. Was that the juice talking, or her real feelings? He would never ask her. Ryan exhaled violently and looked up at the mirror to stare into the eyes of a craven. That was when he saw him.

(cue Tears, After the Cloudy Weather)

It can’t be! “Abra? I-is that you?”

Ryan spun around, his heart pounding so hard it felt like it was going to break through his ribs. His eyes were glossed over with tears, but he could see the little Psi Pokémon standing in the open window, as clear as a dream. His head was spinning, his face was numb again, and he could hardly breathe.

“Rah,” came the reply, low and cautious.

Ryan didn’t remember running for Abra or grabbing the little Psychic Pokémon, but in the next moment, Abra was in his arms. “I’ve missed you,” he cried, tears rolling down his cheeks. “I’ve missed you so much, buddy.”

“Abra, ra. Abra.”

“H-h-how did you get away? Dad said you were staying with him from now on…”

“Abra, abra, abra!” Abra muttered ferociously. “Abra ra abra abra rah abra.”

“I can’t understand a word you’re saying!” Ryan laughed, wiping away the tears.

“Abra.”

He ran away from home because he wanted to be with me, the boy realized. He disobeyed my dad because he wants me to be his master. Ryan sniffled and scratched Abra behind the ear lightly, “Well buddy… we did it. I got the rest of the badges since, y’know…” Ryan gulped. “I’m going to compete in the Indigo League.”

“Rah.”

“Do you want to help? I need you, Abra, if I’m going to win the tournament… I need you by my side.”

“Abra,” the Abra yawned.

“I’ll take that as a yes.”

“Rah.” This time it was Ryan’s turn to yawn.

This is like a dream… it’s so surreal. Is this really happening? It can’t be. He felt Abra’s warmth against his chest, as real as anything Ryan had ever known. Dad is going to be so mad. He’s going to hate me… and I just invited him to come watch me compete in the tournament. Ryan shuddered. Well I can’t do anything about that now. Abra chose to come here. He wanted me, not my dad… not that dad will like that excuse any more than another, but still.

Despite that, he was smiling uncontrollably. Ryan couldn’t help himself. He opened the bathroom door, walked over to the cot, and pulled back the blanket. He didn’t even care that Logan had stolen his bed anymore. I have my Abra back, he thought, hugging the little guy tightly. I don’t care if he was my dad’s Pokémon a long time ago. He’s mine now. I’m never letting him go again.

Episode 34: If I Had A Shot Glass... (It's Tournament Time)

When Ryan stepped up to the counter, his heart started to beat faster. “Identification, please,” the blue-haired female worker in a pretty sky-and-cloud dress said robotically. The boy handed her his Pokédex. “Ryan… Morgan?” the woman asked, her voice rising.

“That’s me.”

“Okay, you’re all set to go. Here,” she said warmly, handing him back ol’ Dexy. “Now it’s time for you to choose your first stage to battle on!” The woman pointed to what looked like a little bell on the edge of the counter. Above it, on a video screen, the four preliminary tourney stages were arranged on a square with a blinking white light moving slowly around them. “Hit that button to see which stage you get randomly assigned, Ryan!”

Water, grass, rock, and ice, the boy mused, looking up at the screen. I’m probably weakest on a water stage. He pressed the button, sending the blinking white light racing around the four stage icons. Finally, it slowed, settling right on the Water Stage. I knew it. The boy’s heart began to beat faster, even though he didn’t want it to.

“You have the second match on the Water Stage, Ryan Morgan,” the woman informed him. “Be ready to battle in thirty minutes. Remember, these preliminary rounds are all three-on-three matches. Choose your Pokémon carefully, Ryan, and don’t forget to take each stage’s element into account!”

He nodded sheepishly and walked out of the check-in station, leaving the of people in lines behind him. Thirty minutes. He gulped, trying to calm himself, but it was no good. I’m at the tournament. I’m finally here. This is really happening. The more he tried to convince himself that he was finally here, finally at the place his father had once been, the more lightheaded he got. My father’s greatest achievement was winning an Indigo League match. What if I can’t even win one?

He paced around outside the Water Stadium, crowds of spectators and other trainers moving around him like water down a glass window. Abra was asleep in his backpack, and Ryan was holding Aegon’s ball. Who am I supposed to use on a water stage? Aegon will be no good if my opponent chooses a water Pokémon… and NaVorro and Myrrah can’t navigate the stage. That left him with Abra, Spectre, and Thurnax. Will they be enough?

On a nearby television screen on a hanging wall, Ryan noticed Kelly was fighting on the rock stage. Her Arcanine was at her side, tall and magnificent, his fur shining with fire. He watched her send her ‘mon against a Victreebel and smoke it like it was a Sunday barbeque. Soon after, she felled a Pidgeotto with her Nidoqueen, and shocked her opponent’s Parasect with her shiny Raichu. The crowd went nuts. Kelly was beaming on the screen, waving at the crowd, her pink hair fluttering in the wind. Ryan’s throat swelled with emotion. She’s gonna do really good.

He was smiling uncontrollably, for the first time in a long time. And then, the loudspeakers crackled: “Ryan Morgan, please report to the Water Stage.”

Oh crap. It’s time. His heart was beating so fast now he felt short of breath. Ryan entered the stage, showed the guards his ID card, and was ushered into the green side under the stadium, the entrance to the outer stage at the far wall. He could hear the crowd cheering, could feel the rumbling of their euphoria shake the ground. Ryan’s hands were shaking. He tried to stop them, but he couldn’t. What if I’m not ready? What if I’m no good?

They called for him, the referee shouting his name with such vibrancy that Ryan shuddered. He sucked in his breath sharply, stepped forward down the concrete path to the bright door, and came out into the stadium.

It was a feeling of numbness, almost, that washed over him. There were hundreds of them, perhaps thousands. People came from all over Kanto to watch these battles. They wanna see a show… well, I’ll give them one, he thought with sudden wildness. The stage was a gigantic pool in the middle of the Water Stadium, with a few white platforms floating in it. Exhaling, the boy peered at his opponent, who stood cloaked in the brightness of day for a few moments until the teal-haired trainer’s eyes adjusted to the light.

She was a young girl, perhaps of bug-catcher repute, though she wore a dress of peach-and-emerald, and she wore a yellow flower in her hair. Is she even ten? A Poké Ball was in her hand.

The two stared at one another. The referee blew his whistle and raised both the red and green flags. On a huge screen at the far end of the stage, Ryan’s and the girl’s faces were shown next to each other, with three lights beneath them (Ryan’s were green, the girl’s were red), signifying how many Pokémon they had left. Let’s see how good she is.

“Go, Abra!” Ryan shouted, pointing ahead to the stage.

“Go, Nidorina!” shouted the girl.

Her Nidorina came flying out to land on one of the white floating platforms. Abra remained in Ryan’s backpack, snoring softly. “Hey, Abra! Wake up! I need you!”

“R-rah?!” the Psi Pokémon yawned, annoyance in his tired voice.

“It’s your battle, buddy, go get ‘em!”

“Abra ra…” Abra sighed before jumping out of Ryan’s bag and waddling forward. He landed on a floating platform across from the Nidorina. Stretching out, the lanky lil’ Poké yawned again and looked back to Ryan for guidance.

“An Abra, really?” the girl squeaked from across the stage. “Abra doesn’t know any attacks!”

Mine does. A smile almost crept onto the boy’s face. “Psychic, Abra!”

“Nidorina, use Double Kick!” the girl yelled across the water.

“Rah!!” Abra jumped into the air, charging a purple beam between his claws. Front flipping forward onto a closer platform to his prey, he unleashed the beam of psychic energy. Nidorina was flying in the air herself, trying to pound Abra with a savage Double Kick, but when the Psychic hit her directly in the face, the Nidorina whimpered and fell like an iron anchor into the water.

“Nidorina, return!”

Ryan punched the sky. For an instant, his fear was gone, and he felt like his old self again, battling with his favorite Pokébuddy. “Great work, Abra. Keep it up!”

“Rah.”

“Weedle, it’s your turn.” The girl threw her second ball, and out from it came the aforementioned Weedle. A Weedle… really?! That’s her Pokémon of choice in the biggest battle of her life? How did she manage to get all eight badges if all she has is a Nidorina and a Weedle anyways?

Perplexed at his opponent’s lack of quality Pokémon, Ryan told his Abra, “Hit ‘em with another Psychic.”

“Rah!”

The second battle went much as the first had. Unsurprisingly, the Weedle was a low level Pokémon, and it was defeated after absorbing a single attack. Abra landed one platform closer, completely undamaged. The little girl threw her last Poké Ball, and across from Abra appeared a Bellsprout. This is crazy. Her Pokémon are so weak… how did she even get into the Indigo League?!

One more Psychic finished Ryan’s opponent off. All three red lights had faded from the scoreboard overhead, and the referee shouted, “And that’s the match! Missy has no more Pokémon able to battle! Ryan wins!”

The crowds roared. Ryan’s face was numb; his hands were shaking at his side. Abra was running back across the floating platforms to his master. I wonder if mom and dad are up there. Did they watch the battle? Did dad see Abra? He shuddered, thinking what his father would say about that.

The feeling of being the object of their adoration was strange. On the one hand, it made Ryan’s chest feel light and made his anxiety fade; on the other, he still knew this was only one match. It could’ve been luck I faced such a weak trainer. And they’ll only get harder the farther I get in the tournament.

Abra jumped into his arms; Ryan scratched the little guy behind the ears. “Great work, Abra. We did it! We won a match!”

“Abra.”

“We’re gonna win this thing, Abra. I know we are.”

“Ra.”

He looked at all the people cheering his name, and a chill fell down his spine. I want it, he knew. I want to win the whole dang thing. Abra’s been in five tournaments before this one, and he only won one match. All of my Pokémon deserve better. I’ll try my best for them… and for mom and dad and all my friends. I’ll show them all that I’m a real Pokémon master!


They all passed the first round, even Rahul. That night, they went out into the village to feast and celebrate. Alex played Fire Emblem while Rahul boasted recklessly about the skill he had shown in his own battle, while Kelly, ever cool and collected, sipped orange juice and teased Ryan for beating a Nidorina, a Bellsprout, and a Weedle. Alex told Ryan that he had seen Rahul’s battle from the visitor’s box, which was a group of seats right behind the each competitor, reserved for their friends and family. No one had watched Ryan win his first match from that box, but he invited them all to his remaining battles, and everyone - even Kelly - said they would come.

In the morning, after getting assigned to his second match (which would take place on the Rock Stage), Ryan phoned his mother again and told her his schedule and that she should come to his visitor’s box for the upcoming battle. I hope they’re there, he thought, even though he knew he would have to face his father’s fury. Please let them show up.

At 1 pm, Ryan was called to face his second foe on the Rock Stage. When he came into huge stadium and passed underneath the rows of stands overhead, up to the door that would lead out onto the stage, he found a group of people waiting for him. My friends. My supporters.

The two other Pokémon trainers were the first he beheld in that low-lit room: Kelly had already won her second match that day, while Rahul had yet to fight his. She’s doing awesome. I hope she gets at least to the semi-finals. And Rahul too. It’d be so awesome if all three of us could take the top three spots.

Beyond them were Alex and Logan, who were arguing about something, and an older woman who had her back to him. When the others noticed Ryan approaching, she turned, her long brown hair swaying, rays of light from the far entrance gleaming off her shoulders. Mom.

He ran up to her and hugged her tightly. “I heard you won your first match, Ryan!” she said, slightly muffled as he hugged her tight. “I’m so proud of you!”

“Did dad get to see it too?”

“Your father knows you won your first match, but he didn’t watch it on tv with me. He’s busy with work, you know. He said he would come to watch you if you made it to the finals, though.” The top 16, Ryan thought. I’d have to win three more matches for that to happen. He thought he could do it, but winning four matches was far beyond the boy’s realistic hope, even though he wanted to win it all.

“Well, I hope I can win this match,” Ryan said to them, laughing nervously and scratching the back of his head. “I don’t want to disappoint you guys!”

His mother went to speak when the referee boomed from the loudspeakers: “Competitors Ryan and Anthony please step forward! The match will commence at once!”

He wasn’t shaking so much this time, as he stepped through the veil of light out onto the stage. Around him, boulders and spires of rocks dotted the stage, which was set on a floor of cracked dirt and dried mud. Across from him, an older boy with a black mohawk and a leather jacket stood, his arms crossed.

“Retuning for this battle is Anthony, a semi-finalist from last year, and a favorite to take home the trophy this year!” The referee’s last word was instantly drowned out by a roar from the crowd. Ryan thought most of the shouts were coming from the female spectators.

“And here to face him in this second-round match is Ryan, a trainer from Acapulco. This is his first year competing in the Indigo League, but he already has one victory, and he’s looking to add another!” They cheered for him too, just not as enthusiastically. Ryan stared around at them meekly, wondering what so many of them had against him. Why do they like this Anthony guy anyways?

“Very well, trainers, take your mark!” the referee said, and the two boys stepped up onto their trainer platforms. Behind Ryan, his friends and mom took their seats, eager to watch the battle unfold.

“Come on Ryan, do it for Carrot Top!” Logan screamed.

“I believe in you Ryan!” came his mother’s voice.

“Remember the type advantages and disadvantages,” Alex called out helpfully.

“Woo… you better not screw this up, Ryan!” Rahul said carelessly.

I’ll try, he thought. He wanted to feel a little confident, but his last victory meant nothing to him now. Here he was, against a much older (and surely), much more experienced trainer. This is my first real test, he knew. Come on, I can’t let everyone down!

The referee waved his red and green flags, and the fight commenced. The noise of the crowd was deafening. Ryan could hardly think. He threw his Poké Ball, and out came NaVorro. His opponent unleashed a Hitmonchan to face his Tauros. Lucky break. Ryan knew fighting type Pokémon were super effective against normal type Pokémon like NaVorro.

“Blizzard, NaVorro!”

“Use Submission, Channy,” Anthony said calmly.

NaVorro was indeed faster. He stampeded over to the Hitmonchan, running around it in a circle, causing a flurry of snow and ice to rise in the air, entrapping the Hitmonchan. When NaVorro stepped back, out of the thick circular path he had created in the snow around the Hitmonchan, everyone gasped. He’s encased in ice. Gotcha! Ryan smiled proudly.

“Okay, NaVorro, this time use Body Slam!”

“Shhhhhrraaah!” the Bull Pokémon snorted loyally, charging ahead to ram into his opponent.

Just before NaVorro reached the Hitmonchan, the Punching Pokémon broke out of its hiemal prison, shattering the ice. Before NaVorro could reach him, the Hitmonchan sprinted forward, jumped into the air, and slammed down on the Tauros’ head with its Submission attack. NaVorro groaned loudly, stepped uncertainly to the side, and then collapsed.

Above, the first green light went out under Ryan’s name. Though he was breathing hard, Ryan said nothing. He returned NaVorro in silence and prepared his next Poké Ball: Aegon. The Charizard spit fire into the air as he soared into the Rock Stage, landing triumphantly across from the Hitmonchan. Aegon beat his chest and screamed, tendrils of flames licking at the sky. I like his enthusiasm. I could use a little of that myself. Indeed, Ryan felt nothing except for some low-burning anxiety in his stomach. A drop of sweat rolled down the boy’s forehead, falling to the ground at his feet.

“Swords Dance, Aegon!” Ryan shouted. If I can get him set up… maybe he’ll have a chance to sweep Anthony’s whole team. It was a bit of a gamble, especially considering Ryan had only one more Pokémon in reserve. But he knew it was his best shot.

“Body Slam it, Channy!” Anthony yelled, and his Pokémon thrust itself forward as Aegon was twirling around, raising his attack or something.

The Charizard skidded back across the dirt, howling in pain, but he didn’t seem to be too damaged. He’s faster, too. “Now, use Hyper Beam!”

“Submission!”

Aegon soared into the air, creating a white energy beam around his mouth. As he bore down towards the Hitmonchan, Anthony’s Pokémon rushed up to meet him, preparing another of his NaVorro-destroying Submissions. Charizard was faster, though. Everyone already knew that. His white energy released and covered the Hitmonchan like a blanket, and the Punching Pokémon fell over, fainted. Above, on the big screen, a red dot faded from under Anthony’s portrait, and it was 2v2 again.

“Not bad, kid! But your luck’s run out!” Anthony grinned, throwing his second ball. “I’ve got that Charizard covered!”

“Oh, no!” Ryan whispered in dismay upon seeing the Blastoise materialize across the stage. He glanced back at the group behind him, searching for any hints they could give him, but no one said anything. He met eyes with Kelly for but a moment and thought, she wouldn’t give up. She’d always have a plan to win.

Ryan knew that Anthony’s Pokémon were either the same level as his, or slightly stronger. That meant he couldn’t defeat this Blastoise with one attack. But two… maybe that would be possible. So long as Aegon could withstand one inevitable water attack, there was a chance. Aegon’s already done a Swords Dance. His attacks will be stronger than usual.

“Earthquake, Aegon!”

“Aararrraaaahhh!!” the wannabe dragon screeched, stomping on the ground, shaking it violently.

The Blastoise stumbled and fell over, crying out in pain. It retreated into its turtle shell and shook around like a broken maraca. When the Earthquake subsided, it got to its feet and surfed a wave of water over to Ryan’s Charizard, slamming into the fire Pokémon with a huge crash of foaming water. Ryan winced. Please don’t be knocked out. Aegon, I’m counting on you.

When the water washed away, Blastoise could be seen standing over the crumpled figure of Aegon. The crowd was going wild. Ryan didn’t hear them; he could only see their pandemonium, their hunger, their certainty that Anthony, the most beloved trainer in the tournament apparently, would move on to round 3. Ryan shook his head and thought that they were right.

And then Aegon stood up. He was battered and bruised, and the flame on his tail had dimmed, but he wasn’t done yet. That’s it, boy. Come on, come on, come on!! Ryan felt a pounding in his chest, felt short of breath. “Hyper Beam it, Aegon!” He thought of that day on Cinnabar Island when he had caught Aegon under the volcano. He thought of all the training he had put that Charmeleon through, the moment he had evolved into a Charizard during the gym battle against Sabrina. We’ve been through so much together. You can do it, Aegon!

“I think that Charizard needs to get another Surf, don’t you Blastoise?!” Anthony sneered.

“Stoise!” the giant turtle Pokémon grumbled. But if there’s one thing we’ve learned this episode, it’s that speed is a major factor in who wins a battle. After all, you can’t get hurt if you knock out your opponent before they can attack.

That was Ryan’s exact plan. He was betting everything on this Hyper Beam causing the Blastoise to faint. White energy was blooming in Aegon’s mouth again, even as the Blastoise was conjuring up another wave of water. The boy’s fingernails dug into his palms, and his veins were running hot with anxiety. Aegon turned his head and shot his energy at the Blastoise.

Blastoise is a slow Pokémon, a veritable turtle in the mud. So it should come as no surprise when it failed to dodge the attack. The Hyper Beam struck the Blastoise in the underbelly of its shell, causing it to fly off its wave and crash against a spire of rocks, which cracked and fell all over the Blastoise.

“Blastoise is unable to continue battling!” the referee declared a moment later, after stepping forward to get a better look at Anthony’s Pokémon.

Ryan swallowed. He heard no noise, no cheering, no jeering… nothing Anthony was speaking. And indeed, the other boy was saying something rather incendiary to Ryan, for he was pointing and shouting. It’s okay. He’s just scared. It was like Ryan was in a dream; he was drifting through this battle in a daze, in some respects completely oblivious to what was going on, and in others, hyper-focused on what needed to be done.

Anthony’s last Pokémon was a Victreebel. “Fire Blast!” Ryan urged Aegon, who was standing there panting, his head bowed. He looked really tired. Just a little more, Aegon. You can do it. I know you can!

“Wrap it up, Vic!” Anthony’s voice came high and thin, wavering across the stage. Ryan could detect the uncertainty in it. He doesn’t think he can win any more.

Aegon was already in the air, shooting up towards the sun. In his mouth, orange-and-yellow flames were bursting from between his teeth. For a moment, the fire Pokémon was lost in the brightness of the sun, and then with a whoosh of air, he returned to Earth, flying like a wind demon towards his quarry. The Victreebel stood still, its gaping mouth vibrating with anticipation of wrapping up the Charizard.

Aegon spit dragonflame across the barren stage. Victreebel went up in flames, crying and smoking. A moment later, when the fires subsided, the plant Pokémon fell over, swirly eyes on its wide face. Its body was charred black, and smoke continued to rise from it.

The referee was saying something; a happy look was on his face as he stole glances at Ryan. The people in the stands were cheering for him - some of them were, anyways. Some of them looked rather sad that Anthony had lost. He was lost in their warmth. Two, he thought. Maybe I can do this. Anthony was really good. He got into the semis last year… he’s definitely one of the most skilled trainers I’ve ever faced. And yet Ryan had beat him, losing only one Pokémon in the process. He had beat a Blastoise with a Charizard. He’d done something right, he knew, but he didn’t feel happy. He felt a little numb, and a little shocked, and rather lightheaded.

When he jumped down from the trainer platform, the others swarmed around him, heaping praise and congratulations upon Ryan’s shoulders. His mother told him how proud she was of him, kissing him on the forehead and shaking him like a voodoo doll. For a moment, amidst the chaos, Ryan’s eyes met Kelly’s again.

“Nice match, kid,” he heard her say. Her lips curled into a tiny smile that lasted for less than a heartbeat. Then, she looked away, embarrassed.

Ryan felt a tingly feeling in his stomach and grinned triumphantly. Maybe I do know what I’m doing. Maybe I am one of the best trainers in Kanto. But when he caught sight of his mom again, he was reminded of his dad, and he wondered what his father would think now that Ryan had won more Indigo League matches than him.


“I haven’t been able to find it anywhere,” Ryan muttered to Alex, showing him the old napkin with all the moves for his Pokémon. Alex had written that for Ryan way back in Cerulean City, weeks ago. And ever since then, Ryan had been gathering TMs and leveling up his Pokémon in hopes of completing that list. He’d gotten everything on the list aside from Explosion. The problem was that both Myrrah and Spectre were meant to have that move. Ryan just hadn’t been able to find it anywhere.

“That’s fine,” Alex replied, slurping up his noodles noisily.

Just like last night, they were out partying in one of the restaurants. Dozens of other trainers were packed in the other tables around the restaurant, celebrating too. Rahul had smashed his opponent in round two, sweeping their Starmie, Growlithe, and Venomoth with his Magneton, and he was proclaiming boldly that Magneton was a far better ‘mon than Tauros. Kelly had also won her battle decisively, though Ryan thought that today, he had faced the hardest opponent out of the three of them. That’s okay. I faced the easiest opponent yesterday.

Logan had Ryan sign an autograph for him, obnoxiously declaring, “This’ll be worth big Poké Dollars someday! Ryan’s gonna be the champion!”

“No way, I’m going to win,” Rahul complained like the petulant child he was. “Ryan’s always got his head in the clouds. I’m the doctor. This is my year. When you stand alone at the edge of destiny and look into the great abyss beyond…” Rahul leaned back in his chair and nearly fell over. Stroking his goatee fiercely, he bellowed, “Basically… run. Nobody will stand in my way. I’m the black sheep in this group.”

“Well, either way, I think we should raise a toast to our three wonderful trainers who have made it into the top 64 of the Indigo League!” Ryan’s mom said, raising her glass. Everyone else raised theirs and (in the case of the ever-obnoxious Logan) banged the table or murmured ‘here here’. They all have orange juice, except for Alex, he thought, eyeing Kelly in particular, watching her gulp down her entire glass in mere seconds. I wonder if she’s gonna say something again. Ryan only had a cup of water. He didn’t like orange juice much. He wondered how everyone else could stand it.

When the dinner was over, and as everyone was getting up, preparing to return to their hotel rooms, Ryan felt someone bump into him. Spinning around, the teal-haired boy noticed a red-haired boy standing a few feet away from him, a nasty scowl on his face. He wore a bright red-white-black-and-grey jacket, and he wore eyeliner which was more than a little weird in Ryan’s opinion. Behind him were about six or seven of his friends, all of whom were dressed extravagantly in bright, fashionable colors.

“What’s the deal, bro?!” the red-haired boy asked sharply. “Why’d you run into me?”

“You ran into me. I was just getting up from my chair,” Ryan explained.

“No, no, no way, bro. You ran into me.” The dark-skinned boy slammed a finger into his own chest angrily. “I seen it myself.”

“Oh yeah?!” Ryan replied, anger rising in his voice.

“Ryan!” his mother called. “Stop it!”

“Come on Carlton, let’s go,” said one of the red-haired boy’s friends. “It ain’t worth it.”

“Nah, it is. This creep thinks he can walk into me and start crap.”

Ryan sighed. “Look dude, I’m not-”

“Dude? Dude?!” Carlton’s eyes got bright and bloodshot. “I’m not your friend, bro. Don’t call me that.”

But you can call me whatever you want, right? Exchanging a look with his mom, Ryan said to the other boy, “I don’t have time to deal with your nonsense, so I’m leaving.”

“Alright, coward.”

You idiot. I’ll make you pay for that. Ryan’s cheeks flushed with a heated rage. He couldn’t do anything here, not with his mom watching. And he was really tired anyways. Ryan yawned as he followed the others out of the restaurant into the cold night air. You haven’t seen the last of me, Carlton Fancypants-McGee, the boy thought with ire.

Outside, the others began a lively conversation, and Ryan tapped his mother on the shoulder, pulling her away from the group.

“What is it Ryan?”

The boy felt his ears going red. Come on, I shouldn’t be ashamed of this. “I… well, I don’t know if you watched my first battle, but I have Abra again.”

“Oh.” His mother’s face became emotionless, like polished stone. “I guess I should have expected that. He ran away about a week ago.”

“He chose me to be his master,” Ryan said earnestly. “Please mom, you have to tell dad… I didn’t steal him…”

“I think he already knows, or suspects what has happened,” she sighed. “I don’t think he’ll take it well.”

“I’m sorry.” Ryan bowed his head. “But I can’t give up Abra again.”

“That’s between you and your father.”

“I guess…” Ryan yawned.

His mother shook her head in mock disgust. “Ryan, Ryan, Ryan. It’s well past your bedtime. You need to get your sleep. You need to be on top of your game in the tournament. You have another match tomorrow.”

“I know,” the boy said.

She gave him another hug and then bade the others goodbye. The kids soon walked off towards the hotel, while Ryan’s mom went back to the village, where her own room was.

“What’s that song that goes na na na na na na, na na na, na na na…?” Logan sang, skipping along around the others as they walked down the bright-lit sidewalk towards the hotel.

“Darude, Sandstorm,” Alex replied instantly, causing Logan to moan in awe for some reason.

Rahul began to ramble on about how great and noble of a man he was, all the pain he had suffered (and still was suffering), and all the sacrifices he had made for humankind. Ryan found Rahul’s ramblings of late to be a little more than tedious, so he hadn’t listened to much that boy had said in weeks. It was great.

Coming up to Kelly, who was walking on the left side of the group, Ryan said, “Thanks.”

“For what?” She didn’t look at him.

“For what you said earlier.” They came to the hotel, and Ryan opened the door for Kelly and the others.

Inside they went, stepping into the elevator almost at once. The room smelled of lavender and fresh mango, and there was no one else around - not even a receptionist.

“What did I say?”

“After the match…” Ryan replied, trying to direct her memory.

“Oh. That?” She laughed incredulously. When Ryan didn’t say anything, she continued, “Well, I guess you’re welcome, Ryan. You know what I always say, though. It’s only luck.”

“Yep. I could say the same about you.”

The elevator sounded a ding when they reached the group’s floor, and everyone shuffled out. The smell of fresh carpet greeted them in the abandoned hallway, with dozens of doors lined on either side. Again, no one else (outside of their group) was around; the hallway was eerily quiet.

“Pshh… not a chance. You and I aren’t even in the same class, no offense.” Of course, none was taken. “You have surprised me though. I didn’t expect you to win more than you lost this year.”

“Thanks.”

They had come to her door. Kelly stopped, turned to face Ryan, and ruffled his hair. The boy’s heart beat furiously, and he nearly gasped. That was… unexpected. Standing under the light to the left of her door, Kelly looked pale and sweaty, and Ryan thought she was more than a little inebriated.

He nearly leaned in to kiss her goodnight, but the others were around. He couldn’t risk such a move in their presence. So there they left Kelly, the four boys, marching off to their rooms like a gaggle of Slowpoke. What do I have to do? What do I have to do to impress her?

It wasn’t long before they reached Ryan’s room, and Logan opened it with Ryan’s ID card (which he’d apparently swiped from the teal-haired boy’s neck at some point). Ryan stumbled into the room, not bothering to take off his clothes or turn on the lights. Right up to the bed - his rightful bed (he’d since demoted Logan to the cot on the left side of the bed) - he walked, and when he reached it, the boy collapsed in exhaustion, pulled off his backpack, which held the warm, snoring Abra, and closed his eyes. Two more, he thought, and I’ll have to face dad.

Luckily, Ryan didn’t have to think that distressing thought for long, for a few moments later, he was out cold, snoring twice as loud as Abra.


Standing in line to get his random draw for the third preliminary round, Ryan swung his backpack off his shoulders to get a better look at Abra. Around him, the lines of people had grown short, and the whole check-in station was a good deal less busy than it had been two days ago. I guess that’s not surprising. 75% of the competitors are already out of the tourney. It made him feel good to have outlasted so many quality trainers.

“Hey Abra, I need you to do something for me.”

“Ra? Ra ra abra bra abra abra bra rah.”

“When it’s my turn to get an opponent, I want you to use your psychic powers to make sure I’m matched against the guy named Carlton.”

“Rah?”

“That’s right. Abra ra abra abra, or whatever,” Ryan said, swinging his arms around like a madman.

“Rahhh… abra.” Abra’s voice was deep and emotional like a Meowth prowling in the night.

After a few more boring moments that we are going to skip past, Ryan stepped up to the counter and pressed the button to find out that his next match would be on the Ice Stage. Abra’s body buzzed in his backpack. I can feel it. He’s matching me against Carlton. The screen flashed with the cheeky smug grin of the red-haired boy, who stood as pompous as a baby bonsai tree.

“Alright, yeah baby!” Ryan shouted with glee before running outta there like a gravy robber. Carlton, you’re mine. He left the check-in lady back there, bewildered as a wild bee. This was the first match Ryan was looking forward to.

He didn’t even know if he could beat that jerk. But nobody named Carlton insults me, Ryan decided. And if this is my last match, so be it. I’ll wipe that stupid smirk off his face one way or another.

The expansive area between the four stadiums was riddled with vendors, like burrowing Weedles, all trying to sell overpriced food or cheap Indigo League merchandise to grade-a suckers. Ryan avoided them like the plague, though he knew Rahul would be swimming in all this crap back in his hotel room. There were people walking the streets, but not so many trainers as before. And tonight, the number’ll be cut in half again.

He watched that girl named Julia (who had helped him against that mean Fearow) defeat another trainer on the Water Stage. Her Ninetails took out all three of her opponent’s Pokémon without breaking a sweat. Dang girl. You’re really good too. He wondered if Julia had what it took to get to the finals, but judging by how easily she had won her second battle, she had to be a sure bet.

He watched several more battles as he waited for the Ice Stage to be prepped for his bout with Carlton. There were so many good trainers - there were more lopsided victories than close ones. Usually, one trainer was far better than the other. Ryan had been far better than Missy, but he wasn’t sure if he had outsmarted Anthony, or if he had just been lucky. Kelly and Rahul never struggled in a match as much as I did against Anthony, he thought.

Watching a teenage boy named Danny fight a young girl named Lobelia, Ryan was impressed to see the girl sweep the boy’s team with nothing but a Tauros. That gave Ryan an idea. It’ll humiliate Carlton to get swept too. Unshouldering his pack and taking out his Poké Balls, Ryan wondered who amongst his fine warriors would be best suited for humiliating the red-haired boy.

It was not much longer until his name was called, and Ryan entered the Ice Gym. Waiting for him were his friends and mom, and they all patted him on the back and wished him good fortune in the wars to come (except for Rahul, who wished that Ryan would watch some My Little Ponyta with him, but that was neither here nor there). He stepped onto the trainer platform, which then raised itself up from the ground about twelve feet over the Ice Stage.

This time he was red; Carlton was green. How ironic. Around them, the stage was crafted from ice, with frozen pillars dotting the landscape. The referee was rambling passionately about how new Ryan was, and how fancy Carlton was. The man took a drink from a flask Ryan had a sneaking suspicion smelled of citrus.

Carlton was more shocked than Ryan. He couldn’t believe that he had been matched against the kid he’d made an enemy of last night. “What luck, right?” Ryan muttered to himself. He almost laughed.

The red-haired boy was clothed in a fancy white suit with a black bowtie and black-and-gold buttons and cuffs. He wore a sharp pair of sunglasses and white, dainty gloves. His dark hair was pulled back. In his left hand, there was a Poké Ball. He was poised like a prince, arrogant and aloof and full of contempt.

“Trainers, prepare your Pokémon!” the referee yelled. “On my mark!”

Ryan took the Poké Ball out of his pocket and held it up, out from his chest. I have to be calm. I have to be smart, he told himself. I can win. The referee blew the whistle. For a moment, the spectators held their breath as the two boys stood still as stone. Then, their Poké Balls were in the air… and out from one popped a Primeape; out from the other soared a Dragonite.

Derceyes raised you, but I’ve trained you for a long time. I know you’re my most powerful Pokémon, girl. You can beat this jackalope. “Agility!” he urged her. Ryan knew he’d need to get his Pokémon’s speed up if he wanted to beat all three of Carlton’s with just his Dragonite. Dragonite is a slow Pokémon by nature, but with a couple of Agilities… well, even Ryan knew what that meant.

“Perform a Focus Energy upon that plebeian, Maximillian!” Carlton’s voice shook with impatience.

The two Pokémon did exactly what they were told to do. Thurnax flew around until she had built up her speed. And the Primeape, which Ryan noticed wore gel in its hair and a fancy white-and-pink bowtie across its eyebrows, performed the Focus Energy attack to perfection (now, no one should know what that means since this move is glitched in the games). Thurnax was already faster, even before the Agility, Ryan observed. I expected him to use an attack. But since he didn’t…

“Another Agility, girl!”

Carlton’s voice echoed, “I want you to Body Slam that beast, Primeape!”

Thurnax built up her speed again before being knocked back by the Primeape’s vicious slam attack. Still, she didn’t seem to be hurt that much, so Ryan ordered her to fire a Hyper Beam at the Primeape.

Thurnax was a determined, professional Pokémon. She never let her anger get the best of her. Even though she had just been hit by the Primeape, she didn’t break her cool. Listening to Ryan, the Dragonite took to the sky and charged up a white energy beam in her mouth, much as Aegon had done the day before.

As Carlton was screaming for his Primeape to do something, Thurnax flew dispassionately over the crowds, causing them to ‘ooh’ and ‘ahh’ for a while before she came back down upon the stage and suddenly unleashed her energy attack upon the poor witless Primeape. The Pig Monkey Pokémon was blown back, flying into the base of Carlton’s trainer platform, and slumped over, knocked out.

“Primeape is unable to continue battling!” the referee declared.

“Yo, bro, that’s not cool!” Carlton cried.

Ryan shrugged and focused on his opponent’s next Pokémon. I ain’t got time to listen to that jive turnkey. When the Snorlax appeared on the other end of the ice, skidding forward slightly as it struggled to stand, Ryan shouted, “Wrap that bad boy up!”

“Hyper Beam that monstrous fool!” Carlton declared elegantly.

Before the Snorlax could do what it was meant to do, Thurnax landed in front of it, knocked it to the ice, wrapped her tail around it, and began to squeeze. Snorlax groaned and grunted with all three squeezes before stumbling away from Ryan’s Pokémon. As it struggled to escape, Dragonite slammed her feet down on the Snorlax’s fat stomach again and wrapped him up real good.

“That’s it, now use Surf!” Ryan ordered Thurnax after she threw the Snorlax away again.

The Snorlax struggled to stand. The ice was so slippery, after all. Down the stage came Thurnax, riding on a wave she had made herself (she was a fine and proper young lady). When the burst of water hit the Snorlax, the Sleeping Pokémon tumbled back and glided across the icy floor, dazed and huffing out in pain. When Snorlax finally came to a slippery stop at the base of one of the ice spires, it did not get up.

The referee raised his flag and blew his whistle. Overhead, on the super-large scoreboard, Carlton’s second green dot vanished. How you like me now?!

“Finish him, Venusaur,” Carlton spoke softly, throwing his last Poké Ball with childlike strength. “Sleep Powder!”

“Quick, Hyper Beam!” Ryan screamed. Lame fool. He’s going for the sleep attack! Ryan knew what that meant. If the Sleep Powder hit Thurnax, she’d be out. It was in the rules of the tournament. You could only put one Pokémon to sleep all game long, but once that one Pokémon was asleep, they were considered knocked out. Thus, Ryan had no choice but to use his Dragonite’s strongest attack to preserve his sweep.

Thurnax soared through the air again, building up her momentum and power, as the Venusaur took center stage and thrust its back flower up at the clouds, preparing the Sleep Powder. Aw, it’s presenting. As Thurnax came screaming downwards, she spit out her attack, hitting the beast in the face. Venusaur started crying recklessly. A puff of purple-yellow powder spurted into the air, and Thurnax was moving too swiftly to avoid it. Smacking into the ground, the Dragon Pokémon hit one of the ice spires, and it collapsed around her.

Carlton was whooping, calling Ryan a bro, and making obscene gestures with his fingers. Ryan’s ears were burning. Venusaur grunted, looking around in a daze, and stepped forward. Its paw slipped on the ice; the Seed Pokémon crashed onto its stomach. Mumbling, “Venu… saur…”, the animal’s head drooped down, and it began to snore.

The referee was on the stage, flying about on a pair of ice skates. It was wild. The guy jumped in the air and did a twirl, prompting an ancient Russian woman from the front row to struggle to her feet and raise a sign that said ‘6.14’ before collapsing again into obscurity. “Venusaur is unable to battle…!” the man bellowed, causing the crowd to burst with energy in response. “Dragonite’s probably unable to battle too,” he noted, “but that doesn’t matter, eh?”

Up above, the third and final red dot signifying the last Pokémon of Carlton Fancypants-McGee, Esquire, vanished forever more. Ryan’s three dots remained shining; he knew the Indigo League staff were being rather generous.

Ol’ Fancypants-McGee fell to his knees, ripping at his hair, crying that Ryan had cheated, and cursing the sun and moon and stars. Ryan felt like laughing, but didn’t. Gotta be restrained and dignified, blah blah blah. That’s what the Indigo League competitor handbook had said, anyways.

They were chanting his name when he descended back to see the others. His face felt numb; his hands were throbbing. Everyone was beaming, heaping praise upon him. It’s not luck, Ryan thought, as Kelly patted him on the shoulder and showed just a hint of appreciation with that look in her eyes. I didn’t get this far because of luck.

Their warmth embraced Ryan. He had won his third match. He was in the top 32. Soon, Kelly, Rahul, and 29 others would join him. So many people have been eliminated. I just have to beat five more of ‘em. Somehow, that didn’t seem so hard anymore. Ryan’s anxiety was gone. He had eclipsed his own expectations already. Now he could go for his dream… to win the whole thing. And with his six Pokémon, with their strength and endurance and heart, he knew he had a shot.

Ryan wondered what his dad would say if he won the Indigo League. He wondered, would that be enough for him? He didn’t know. I’ll try anyways, he told himself. For Abra’s sake at least.

Episode 35: I Need You So Much Closer

The wind was howling that day - like an old man trying to send back soup on an airplane. At one end of the Grass Stage, on a raised platform, stood Ryan, his Abra asleep on his shoulder. On the other side, also on a raised platform, was the boy called Ronny. His blond, spiky hair seemed to glisten in the brightness of day.

I’ve met this guy before, Ryan knew. I fought his Venusaur and beat it with Myrrah. Behind him, his friends and mother sat. Win one more match, and I’ll see dad. One more and I’m in the finals. He gulped and threw his Cloyster’s Poké Ball. The referee below was waving his flags wildly like he was a proper flag waver.

“Go Lapras!”

The two Water Pokémon flung themselves onto the Grass Stage, which was a nice mixture of rolling hills and trees. “Blizzard it, Myrrah!” Ryan ordered his Pokémon.

“Thunderbolt, Lapras!” the dark-skinned trainer said calmly.

The two passed by one another, exchanging their attacks. The Blizzard did moderate damage to Lapras, but the Thunderbolt hurt more. Both Pokémon fell back, bruised and covered in grass. Dang, he’s using sneaky moves too. I’ll have to be careful. When Ryan had met this boy more than a week ago, he hadn’t expected them to end up facing off for a spot in the final 16. His Venusaur didn’t seem to be that strong. Guess a lot’s changed in a week!

“Explo… uh, Blizzard,” Ryan said. Man, if only I had gotten Explosion before the tournament started. He watched his Pokémon freeze the Lapras again, doing pitiful damage, and knew Myrrah was done.

Another Thunderbolt was all it took; Ryan’s Cloyster fainted, and he returned her. “Go, NaVorro! Do a Body Slam attack!”

“Vraahahahaaaaa!” the Tauros said enthusiastically. Running up to the Lapras, the Bull Pokémon flung himself upon the Nessie wannabe. Lapras flew back, hitting a tree and splitting it in half. Ronny was shouting something. The crowd was roaring. Ryan’s hands were drawn into fists, his heart beating furiously. He wondered if anyone thought he would win. Does Alex think I still have a chance?

In the next moment, NaVorro was thrown back by Blizzard winds, his fur crusted with ice. It looked to be a critical hit. “Shake it off!” Ryan urged his Pokémon, who looked to be rather hurt. I can’t afford to lose you this early. We haven’t even taken down one of Ronny’s Pokémon! The Bull Pokémon grunted in frustration and exhaustion, shaking his fur, but he didn’t look any better. “Go, NaVorro! Hyper Beam! Defeat that stupid Lapras! Come on, I know you can!” he urged his Pokémon.

And off Tauros went, running back down the grassy stage to his foe. Lapras stood moderately damaged, but not as beat-up as NaVorro. Another Blizzard was just beginning to be conjured by that water beast when NaVorro became the third of Ryan’s Pokémon to use Hyper Beam. But he was the first who got STAB off it. And boy did NaVorro not waste that STAB.

His brought Lapras to his white light and took it onboard his beautiful ship, and the rest is history. Lapras fainted, NaVorro returned to his master, and a green dot burned out of existence on the scoreboard above. Now it was Ronny’s turn to sweat a lil. I won’t give up without a fight.

“Arbok, now it’s your turn!” the other boy said.

“Earthquake it, NaVorro!” Ryan urged.

The Tauros whimpered and shot off again. Ronny’s command came as mere noise to Ryan; he was too focused on what his Pokémon was doing. I don’t expect NaVorro will survive another hit. Not unless I’m lucky. NaVorro jumped into the air, slamming down upon the top of a hill, shattering the ground. Ahead, the Arbok slithered and slimed, but it couldn’t dodge the rumbling earth. That snake shook real good; it was like a man showing a woman who he was.

“Yeah, boy!” Ryan declared.

Ronny’s voice answered at once. “Now, Arbok, go!”

The Arbok slithered across the broken ground, coming up to a different hill. Sailing into the air, the snake came shooting back down into the ground, cracking it and burrowing the beast under the soil. The earth began to shake again, just as violently as before.

“Oh no, it’s doing Earthquake too!” Ryan realized.

And so it was; and so it did. When the Arbok was finished, it sprouted from the ground like parasitic grass, and NaVorro fell over, having fainted. The crowd was going crazy. Ryan felt heat behind his eyeballs. It’s over, he thought. I won’t win this match. He’s got two Pokémon left, and I only have one… He looked down to his hands. A Poké Ball was in each: one contained Aegon; the other contained Thurnax. Who should I pick?

The teal-haired trainer raised his right hand, preparing to throw the Poké Ball, when suddenly, he felt a rustling on his back, and a dark blur shot past his eyes. Onto the railing surrounding the raised trainer platform came Abra, as loose as Kelly after a few cups of orange juice. “Ra, ra, Abra,” he said, grasping the index finger of Ryan’s outstretched hand (which grasped the Poké Ball he had chosen to almost throw). “Abra abra abra. Ra bra Abra!” There was fire in Abra’s voice, Ryan could tell. Fire and heart. He wants this. If this is our last battle, he wants to go out fighting.

Ryan felt the tears coming to his eyes but blinked them away. “Go, boy,” he said quietly, almost laughing, almost crying. It’ll take a miracle for us to win. “Psychic attack!”

“Rah…” the little Psi Pokémon screamed before teleporting off the stage and entering the arena. Ryan had never seen Abra like this before. He’s a little warrior.

“An Abra, really?” Ronny’s voice was full of disbelief. “In the fourth round? Is this some kind of joke?”

“‘Fraid not,” Ryan admitted. “I’m going to win now!”

“Haha, yeah right!” replied the other boy, smiling boldly.

Abra appeared in front of the damaged Arbok, charging purple energy between his claws. With a determined, “Bra!”, he flung his Psychic at the snake. Arbok was still warming up its own attack, a dreaded Hyper Beam, when the purple energy washed over it.

A single cough of, “Bok…!” echoed through the stadium, and Arbok fell over.

“Yes, yes, yes!” Ryan whooped. “Great work buddy!”

“Abra, abra…” Abra panted, turning to face his trainer.

The second green dot faded from the screen overhead. It was now one Pokémon against one Pokémon - sudden death for the right to be a part of the Indigo League top 16. Ronny reached for something in his pocket, raised his arm, threw his Poké Ball, and when Ryan saw which Pokémon the other trainer had chosen, he felt a chill descend his spine like an old man trying to climb down a ladder. The crowd was buzzing like hungry dogs. They knew this would soon be over. They’re not wrong.

In front of the tiny, lanky Abra stood a rotund giant - a fearsome Gengar. “Gengar, the Shadow Pokémon,” Dex droned. “A Gengar is close by if you feel a sudden chill. It may be trying to lay a curse on you.”

“Wicked!” Ryan said, almost in admiration. But he wasn’t happy - not at all. In fact, the boy’s anxiety was pounding against his chest with so much force, he thought he might throw up. Gengar is a fully-evolved Pokémon. Abra has no chance.

“Hypnosis, Gengar!” Ronny urged his Pokémon.

“Gengar geng!” the huge ghost Pokémon chuckled.

Oh no. I know what that means. “Abra, dodge it and hit that Gengar with a Thunder Wave!”

“Raaah!” Abra hissed sinisterly.

The little Psi Pokémon scurried about, bouncing from the trees to the broken ground, using his speed to swiftly approach his foe. Gengar jumped forward, landing right in front of Abra and knocking him off a tree, and began to perform his hypnotizing attack. If that attack hits and Abra is put to sleep… “Dodge it, Abra! Go!”

Abra rolled to the side, averting his eyes from the Gengar and then seemed to teleport around the beast, landing behind him. Gengar’s attack missed. The crowd burst with laughter. From behind, Logan shouted something indistinct. Abra’s tendrils of lightning cascaded down his claws and onto the Gengar’s back, instantly paralyzing the opponent. Gengar fell over and lightly rolled down the hill he had been standing on until he came to a stop in a crater in the grass.

“Psychic!”

“Hypnosis!”

The purple energy hit the Gengar right in the face, causing it to cry out in pain. But it wasn’t damaged very much. To Ryan’s horror, it seemed like Psychic was only doing moderate damage - not good enough. Luckily, on the Gengar’s next turn, it was too paralyzed to move, so Abra was able to hit it with another Psychic. Now the Gengar looked to be a little hurt - but it would take two or three more Psychics to fell it, the boy knew. Those were rounds he didn’t have. He saw this plain enough when the Gengar then shot a Thunderbolt at Abra, causing the Psychic Pokémon to fall to his knees screaming. Abra can’t take another hit, but Gengar can take two more at least.

A lump welled in his throat. Ryan’s breaths came sharply. Abra stood up, preparing his next attack when he looked over at Ryan. It’s over, boy. We tried, but I couldn’t get us any further. I’m just like dad. I can’t lead you to victory. Abra was breathing hard now; his entire body was covered in scratches and dirt. He looked old and tired and ready to give up.

The fire’s still burning in his eyes, Ryan noted. He had rarely ever seen Abra’s eyes open, much less this determined. Abra looked away and approached his paralyzed quarry. He let out a long, feral cry, and a white light engulfed his fragile form. Abra was lost in the burning colorless energy. The crowd was going crazy. Behind him, his friends and family were on their feet, shouting and clapping their hands. What’s going on? “Huh? Where’s Abra? What happened?”

“Look!” That was Kelly’s voice. She was pointing back to the fight.

His eyes saw the light fading, heard the stadium’s noise increase so much that the ground began to shake. There, under the tree, stood not an Abra anymore, towering over the paralyzed Gengar. Th-that’s not right… no, it can’t be!

Dex’s voice sounded like it was coming at him as distantly as if from underwater. “Kadabra, the Psi Pokémon. Many odd things happen if this Pokémon is close by. For example, it makes clocks run backwards.”

“N-no… way…” Ryan fell to his knees, his face flushed in disbelief. “Buddy…”

Kadabra raised his spoons over his head, shouting, “Kadabraaaaaah!” as a purple energy beam formed between them in the air. The Gengar could do nothing but sit there and scream as the much-stronger Psychic slapped it across the face. Gengar rolled back a few feet before coming to a stop, belly up. His mouth was agape, and his eyes had gone all swirly.

“Gengar is no longer able to battle!” the referee with the flags decided. “Ryan, from Acapulco, is the winner!”

“Yeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeessssss!!” the boy screamed, falling to his knees again. There were tears in his eyes, in the bright blue sky. The crowd was clapping wildly for him, hundreds of cheers rising collectively like shadows in a fever dream. Onto the railing, Kadabra suddenly appeared. “Kadabra, kah!” Kadabra said proudly.

“Buddy… Abra - I mean, Kadabra - you did so good out there! You beat a Gengar! And an Arbok! You’re so strong! And now we’re into the finals!”

“Kadabra!”

Ryan stood up. “Y-you evolved… for me…” He put his hand on Kadabra’s shoulder. “Why?”

“Dabra kah!” Kadabra said loyally.

“Dabra kah?”

“Kah!”

“Oh okay. Well, thanks buddy. You know, I couldn’t have done this without you. You were awesome out there,” he murmured. “You’re the reason we’re in the finals.”

“Kadabra.”

Down they went, to the ground, where Alex, Rahul, Kelly, his mother, and Logan awaited him. Like the spectators overhead, their praises piled upon him like cotton candy, coating him in their warmth. He was beaming when his eyes met Kelly’s. How do you like that? I’m in the top 16. Her own lips curled in happiness too. In his euphoria, Ryan thrust his Kadabra forward, showing him to everyone. As they ‘ooh’d’ and ‘ahh’d’, he turned to Kelly, and nearly leaned in to kiss her. He stopped himself at the last moment, because he remembered this was real life, almost too late. Not until I’m champion, he decided. That way there’ll be no way she can resist.


Rahul’s last preliminary match went without incident. He smoked his opponent with a Charizard sweep, and they were out by noon. Kelly’s match came up next, so the group, in high spirits, trudged off to the Ice Stage to watch her win her way into the top 16. Come on, Kelly. I know you can do it.

His mother had bought him a new Indigo League shirt that was yellow and itched like a nest of Kakuna. Ryan had found that Kadabra did not fit so well in his backpack as Abra had, so the Psi Pokémon had been forced to walk with them if he wanted to remain outside of his Poké Ball. That didn’t seem to be what he liked though, so soon Kadabra returned to his ball to get some much-needed rest.

They licked at ice cream cones and sat on the bench in the shade as Kelly ascended to her final battle before the finals. In her hand was a Poké Ball, shining in the light of day. The referee was making smalltalk as the match was getting prepared, and the crowd was humming dully.

“Once this is over, we should go back to the sushi bar,” Logan declared. “I want all you can eat sushi for President Goodshow’s sake!”

“Calm down, kid. Go play with your Chansey or something,” Rahul grunted. “We’re going back to that Korean barbeque from two nights ago.”

“No, I’m sick of that place, Rahul! If I have to eat there one more time, I swear I’ll-”

Rahul was already licking his fingers in anticipation of having the grease and barbeque sauce running down his mouth and into his pristine goatee again. His belly was growling pretty loud too. The two nearly came to blows as Alex sat down between them, nibbling on a raw cucumber like a Nidorino at a salt lick. Ryan’s eyes returned to the battle going on ahead. Kelly’s shiny Raichu was already out, pacing around the slippery ice, whilst her opponent’s Wigglytuff stood poised like honey on a vine.

Ryan couldn’t see much of the opponent from his seat; her portrait on the overhead scoreboard was the best look he got of her. She was dressed in dark robed clothes, with medium-length black hair, and wore a crazy amount of makeup. She and Kelly exchanged commands as their Pokémon ran about the Ice Stage firing Thunderbolts and attempting Body Slams and riding Surfs and mustering up Blizzards until, finally, the tired ‘Aichu hit the tough Wiggly with a Thunderbolt, sending it skidding into an ice spire, which collapsed over it at once.

They all got to their feet and shouted in support of Kelly. Now we’re cooking. Now we’re cooking real good. Ryan held the egg he had traded for from that bug catcher tight to his chest, anxious as if he were up there fighting himself. He wondered what Kelly was thinking.

Next came her opponent’s Slowbro. ‘Aichu hit it with a fierce Thunderbolt that nearly made it faint. But the Raichu was the one who ended up fainting, for on the Slowbro’s first turn, it rode a wave of water over the Mouse Pokémon like a Psyduck on vacation. Kelly’s next Poké Ball revealed a Hypno. Kelly’s Hypno exchanged several volleys of Psychics with the opponent’s Slowbro, who continued using Surf. After about four or five turns of this, Slowbro collapsed and was recalled. Great work. Just one more. The crowd was pumped. They were all in for Kelly too, he knew.

From the opponent’s Poké Ball came a Clefable. Alright, that’s not too bad! Kelly should have this in the bag, Ryan knew. “Psychic!” Kelly ordered her Hypno, who then shot the opposing Clefable. Clefable screamed and flew into the air, landing on the ice with little grace before slipping over. For the briefest of moments, it looked like Kelly was going to win. And then, Clefable’s Hyper Beam came flying over, pale as fire, and knocked Hypno back, rendering him unconscious.

Kelly grimaced as the crowd went wild. “Alright, Tauros, you’re turn! Finish this Clefable!”

Ryan nodded eagerly. The spotted blue-green egg felt warm against his chest. Yeah, that’s it Kelly. Clefable stands no chance against Tauros.

“Body Slam!”

Across the stage, the other girl, whom Ryan thought the scoreboard said was named Ivy, shouted, “Sing, my Clefable! Put that angry bull to sleep!”

“Oh no!” Ryan yelled. “Kelly, get your Tauros out of the way. She’s trying to put him to sleep!”

But Kelly was shouting “Body Slam, Body Slam, Body Slam!”, and the noise coming from the crowd was overwhelming. She couldn’t hear him. Her Tauros charged ahead, oblivious to what was about to happen. It jumped into the air and slammed its form down on the small squishy-looking alien. Clefable shrieked and was left in a crater. Up got Tauros, who began to prance impatiently around the crater. For the second time, it looked as if Kelly had won.

And then, the Clefable stood up. “Clefable, clefable, clefaaaaaaaaaaable, clefable” it sang to the tune of Jigglypuff’s song. “Clefable, clefable clefaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaable!!”

Ryan averted his ears and eyes, as did most of the spectators. After a few moments, when everyone returned their gazes to the field, Tauros was on the ground, collapsed, fast asleep. Clefable yet stood. The referee with the two flags had fallen asleep, having gotten caught in the range of Clefable’s Sing. Suddenly, over the loudspeakers, a shuffling noise could be heard, and a very old man spoke, “H-hey… is this thing on? Dang nabbit, is this thing on or what?” The crowd roared in approval. “Heh, I guess it is! Okay, anyways, given that our referee has fallen asleep, it’s up to me, President Goodshow, to render a verdict in this match! Now that Clefable has used a Sing move and put Tauros to sleep, by the rules of the Indigo League - Section 3 subsection 24 - Tauros is no longer able to battle and is technically considered to be knocked out.” The last green dot under Kelly’s portrait disappeared into blackness.

No!! The old man continued talking, proclaiming the opponent, Ivy, the winner, and heaping her with glowing praise. Kelly stood there for a while, not moving. No one below her said anything; they were still in shock. Ryan squeezed his egg, hoping that its warmth would give him a little hope. Then, the pink-haired girl returned her Tauros and descended from the trainer platform. It was such a lonely thing, watching her climb down. The very air seemed to be exploding with people excited about Kelly losing the match. I’ve never been on this side of it before. I didn’t realize it was this bad. He felt worse than he had ever felt before. He wanted to cry again, but he couldn’t. Ryan was a man after all.

They all stood up and began speaking in whispers, offering cheap consolations to the girl. She thanked them kindly and held her face, still as water, like it was an ice prison about to crack. Everyone felt awful; they had all wanted Kelly to progress. I know how much this tournament meant to her. She spent months training for this. They hugged her and cried for her, as best they could, but she never reacted. Kelly drifted through group until, at last, she came face-to-face with Ryan. “Hey kid.” Her voice was raw as snow. She grabbed at the collar of his shirt, lightly feeling the fabric between her fingers.

“Kelly, I-”

“I know what you’re going to say, Ryan. It’s not going to help.”

“What will?” he asked quietly. Come on, Kelly. You can trust me.

She looked him over, slacking her jaw. “I’ll see you around, Ryan.”

With that, the girl walked off, her shoulders slumped forward. Don’t go. Please, don’t go. I need you. Up to Ryan’s left walked his mom. She put her hand on his shoulder. “You never told me about her.” His mother’s voice was full of melancholy.

“Sorry. I just… I didn’t think that we…”

His mother pushed her palm into his shoulder, squeezing slightly. “Go,” she said. “Trust me, Ryan.”

Were you and dad in this situation before? He looked up at his mother for one moment; adrenaline spread through his bloodstream, and Ryan darted off down the dark corridor after Kelly.


“Kadabra, use your psychic powers to open the door! Hurry up!” Ryan commanded his oldest buddy.

“Don’t do it, Ryan!” came the muffled, strained voice from beyond the hotel door. “I don’t want to see you!”

Like daggers in the night, her words punched through him. “But why?”

“Just go away!” He could hear the grief thick in her voice.

“I’m sorry you lost, and I-I just want to…”

“Ryan!” her voice was full of venom this time. “Leave!”

A cold silence followed. Ryan didn’t move for several moments as he thought about what to do. I shouldn’t leave her like this. Mom thought… but won’t she hate me if I barge in on her? Girls like their privacy. He wanted her. He needed her. But maybe, he was realizing, those feelings only went one way.

“Come on, Kadabra. Let’s go,” Ryan said dejectedly.

Out they went, leaving the hotel to walk down the streets, which were full of spectators, fans, and the occasional tournament participant. Julia was positioned on the edge of a street corner, under a dusty light post, signing autographs and showing off her well-groomed Starmie. Ryan and Kadabra shuffled past her, trying to play it cool, but some of the autograph hunters caught sight of him and demanded his signature too. Every one he gave them for free, and every one sent pangs of guilt up and down his forearm when he signed them. But he was too polite a boy to refuse.

They eventually came to a Pokémon Center, where Ryan bought himself a cold sandwich and rested his Pokémon. The others are out eating again. Partying because Rahul and I made it into the top 16. Somehow, it didn’t feel right to join them. As well as the day had started, it had ended about as poorly as it could have, and now Ryan was sitting alone in a nearly-abandoned Pokéhospital having dinner by himself. He watched Nurse Joy wipe down the counter for a while before going back over to the greasy-haired shopman in the corner who sold all sorts of Poké Items, like TMs.

“Do you have Explosion in stock?” the boy asked, throwing away his sandwich wrapper.

“Nope, fresh outta that one,” the man said lazily. “Anything else I can getcha?”

“Just that,” Ryan sighed. “Or where to find it.”

“Explosion’s a popular TM,” the man mused. “It’s probably sold out in all the shops around here.”

I know. I checked. “Alright, thanks for the help anyways.”

“W-wait…” the man said, lowering his voice. “There is one other way.”

“One other way?” Oh please Poké Santa, don’t let this guy be crazy like all the other adults. “If you visit The Oracle, she can give you any TM you desire… but it’ll cost you.”

“How much?” The man simply laughed diabolically. “Where is she?”

“On the side of the mountain. Her temple’s lit up by torches, you can’t miss it.”

“Great. And this isn’t a trap or anything, is it?”

“No, no, no.” The man waved his hands quickly. “But I’m not liable for anything The Oracle does to you.”

“Cool.”

“Hey, you wanted the TM! That’s the only way I know you can get Explosion if you absolutely need it now!”

Ryan narrowed his eyes. “How many other trainers go to The Oracle to buy TMs?”

“Like one or two a year.”

“Why so few?”

The man scratched his head nervously. “Well, it’s expensive, and well, I don’t know…! Help… god save the queen!” With that, the sweaty man with short black hair and a nice little hospital suit ran down the hallway behind him, where a Chansey was mopping. When he slipped and fell over, the Chansey bellowed, “Seeeeeeeeeeeee!!”

Frickin’ adults. Man, I swear… Ryan got out of there as fast as he could, but no matter how much he wanted to, he couldn’t get that man’s words out of his head. What if he’s right? The boy eyed the distant light coming from the side of the mountain wrapped around the eastern perimeter of the town. That would be The Oracle. Funny, I never noticed her temple before.

Looking down at the old napkin he still kept in his pocket, Ryan bit his tongue. Much of the writing had faded, but ‘Explosion’ was still clear as day, written in the scrawl of Alex, the Fire Emblem Obsessor. Everything else was clearly crossed out. I got everything except for Explosion. That’s the last move I need to finish my team.

Ryan shook his head and let Aegon out of his ball. “Fly me over to that light,” the boy said, pointing to the far-distant temple. “And this time, go easy. I don’t want to have to go through another crash landing, okay?”

“Arwraaah!”

“Good, that sounds like a ‘yes master, I won’t crash this time’ if I ever heard one!” Ryan replied, climbing onto Aegon’s back.

Into the air they went, soaring above the Indigo Plateau Conference town like ravens hunting for carrion. Everyone looked so small below them, like ants ready to be crushed.

Ryan and Aegon only crashed into three trees before reaching The Oracle’s temple. It was made of pale jade stone, carved out of the side of the mountain, lit braziers and torches bathing the outer rock in flickering light. Dark shapes seemed to dance across the stone, and Ryan’s head was suddenly pounding, like he had a splitting migraine. Weird. And my fingers are tingling too. What is this place?

“H-hello?” he called out, his voice echoing off the bare rock. No response came. Something is off about this place. A sound, like sizzling whispers, rose for an instant, only to be carried away on a nightly breeze a breath later. Pain washed over Ryan’s face, down from his forehead, and he winced. “Is anyone there? Hello?”

More whispering followed. He stepped into the temple, past several pillars and burning oil torches, past empty benches, covered in dust and cobwebs, up to the center of the small room inside, which was circular and covered in a dark black-and-rust patterning. The patterns on the walls, floor, and ceiling were a mixture of spirals and diamond-shaped tessera. Inside, the air reeked of smoke - surely because of the open fire pit in the center of the room, whose smoke was rising in thick inky plumes past a hole in the ceiling. There was a woody, earthy spice in the air as well, and Ryan had to grab a nearby jade pillar to prevent himself from falling over.

“Whasss… whasss goin’ on?” His own voice sounded small, child-like, lost to him.

Ahead, in the swirling flames and glowing embers, the form of a female appeared, puffing up from the ashes like a ghost in a graveyard. Her skin was light, her hair straight and black and short, her dark eyes narrow and piercing into him. Her shirt was dark and tight against her skin; she wore fingerless gloves, elbow guards, and a pair of thick-rimmed glasses. Her light-colored shorts were torn and pulled back severely, almost as far back as a bikini. The boy shivered and felt pangs of pain cascade down his spine. Who is she? She’s so beautiful…

For a moment, it looked like the woman was walking towards him. Just before she reached Ryan, she opened her mouth and tried to speak; exploding in a mess of ash and smoke, the shadow girl melted like sugar in water, and her form was replaced by someone Ryan recognized.

This shadow had just the faintest glimmer of fire in her hair - it made her hair look pink. Kelly’s form studied Ryan with those big sad eyes of hers before puffing away into nothingness. Ryan stumbled around the room, his hands extended to prevent himself from falling over. He called for Kelly, for his mother, for Abra. When he spoke his Pokémon’s name, the dark swirling shapes around him vanished, and instead, a single blue-green egg appeared in the middle of the fire, charring itself black.

Is that my egg? Are you kidding me?! How did it fall into the fire? Disoriented and alarmed, the teal-haired boy rushed forward to snatch up his egg when it began to crack and split open. He stepped back, uncertainly, and was met by the flailing visage of a Magikarp, flinging itself from the broken egg to flop and sputter on top of the shimmering embers and dying flames. Wait… how is it not getting burned? A pain as sharp as a spear poked outwards from above Ryan’s right eye, and he fell to one knee.

“Please…” he begged, his eyes tearing up (definitely and only because of the smoke), “st-stop it…!”

A Rapidash was sprinting around the tiny room, its hooves clamoring off the stone floor, its shadow-fire form blurring against the jade walls. Ryan thought he saw a rider on the beast’s back, but before he could tell if it was male or female, Rapidash exploded into oblivion as Kelly once had.

“Child of my enemy, why have you come?” came the low growl of an ancient woman, her voice tempered by a pair of spiffy smoker’s lungs (at least that’s what it sounded like to Ryan).

Rubbing his forehead hopelessly, the boy whispered. “I’m here to buy a TM.”

“Oh, that’s all?” The old crone’s tone faded and was replaced by the voice of a younger woman - one who sounded very much like Nurse Joy. Around the fire, a group of Abra were dancing and singing in a foreign tongue. Without warning, they shrieked and flung themselves into the fire, causing the room to explode with white light.

Ryan felt back, shielding his eyes. I knew it. That man was insane, and I was a fool for listening to him. I should have never come here. He sat up again, blinking away the tears and coughing. Massaging his throat, Ryan noticed there was now someone else in the room with him.

The Oracle. She sat on a raised circular platform, like a massive pillar cut down to its base. On raised unlit braziers behind her, two Jynx sat, their legs crossed, their hands on their knees, their eyes closed in meditation. The Oracle opened her viridian eyes and studied Ryan. Her face was hidden behind hanging jewels and a mask that showed only her eyes and nose; her exposed flesh had been painted with white powder, and strange black hieroglyphs had been painted on her cheeks. Her clothes were all robes and hanging jewelry, and Ryan found himself having a hard time figuring out if she was hot or not. I have no idea how old she is. She could be twenty or eighty for all I know.

“Sorry about that,” The Oracle said at last, taking Ryan aback with how casual her voice sounded. “I thought you were someone else.”

“Who?”

“None of your business, kid.”

“Fine. So, uh, do you have an Explosion for sale or not?” he asked impatiently.

The two Jynx cracked open their eyes and exchanged a look. “Forty-eight hundred Poké Dollars,” The Oracle whispered.

“Aw, come on! That’s like three times as much as it would cost in a Pokémon Centers!”

“Go buy one there, then.” Her bright green eyes never left his.

“Whoa, whoa whoa. Okay, okay, hold your Rapidashes, sheesh!” Ryan said hastily, taking out his wallet. Inside, he found a mere five thousand Poké Dollars. Great, I’m going broke again. Being a Pokémon trainer sure isn’t a good way to make money… “Here,” he said, handing her the bills.

The Oracle pocketed the money without moving anything aside from her arm. Then, she looked beyond Ryan and nodded. “There,” she breathed.

When he turned around, he saw a silver metal canister sitting on the stone floor. Behind the boy, the fire roared and flared up. He shivered. She’s a magic lady. A real magic lady! This is so creepy. “Thanks,” he spoke meekly, not turning around. This better work. I swear, if this is some kind of scam…

“Look to the skies, Ryan,” The Oracle murmured.

“Huh?”

The Oracle’s hanging jewelry jingled when she turned her face away from him. “Once you are past the golden sunset. You will know when it’s time, kid.”

“You’re a real jive turkey, you know that?” The boy’s voice was rising. He realized that his headache was gone. “Can you just say what you mean?”

The woman’s jewelry tinkled softly again. The two Jynx faded from existence. The fire cooled at Ryan’s feet. Grey smoke snaked upwards like a Chinese dragon. The Oracle gazed at him for a long time before speaking. “Your past deeds have not been forgotten.” Ryan spit the smoke from his throat and stepped back. The room smelled of bleach now, arid and sterile and devoid of life. “She’s a black belt in karate. But that doesn’t mean everything.”

Kelly? “Who are you talking about?”

The Oracle stood and cracked her neck. “Go to her.”

“Who?!”

“When the evil-natured robots call…” the woman’s voice trailed off, as delicate as flying silk, “go to her. Look to the skies, Ryan. Save them all.”

The Oracle leaned forward, as if to crack her back, and her entire body dissolved away into dust and smoke and ash. The aroma of brimstone wafted through the air. What the heck was that? What’s going on?

He was alone again in the desolate temple. The fire at his feet was dead, its light and warmth long gone. A skirling wind from the north came savagely down through the hole in the ceiling to beat across his burning cheeks. Ryan felt goosebumps spread across his arms, swallowed hard, and screamed like a proper Koga. Turning, his breath frosting in front of his lips, Ryan pulled Aegon’s Poké Ball from his pocket and raced out of that room, The Oracle’s words pounding through his brain with every nerveless step he took.

Episode 36: I've Been Here Before (But Only a Few Times)

The two days of rest had flown by like Tedorigawa Mangekyo Junmai Daiginjo on the Yamamoto. Ryan had spent his waking hours training his Pokémon and banging on Kelly’s door, and felt more than a little sore.

That morning he had fished a Magikarp out of a tank in the check-in station, and learned that he had been assigned ‘B7’, the same code given to another trainer named Rotunda. She looked like a roly poly. A young girl, just like my first opponent. Only this one looked mean and rich as a gas station bathroom.

Walking with Ryan towards Indigo Stadium was the balloon boy - Rahul (this joke is that his head is full of air and nothing else, thank you, thank you). Everyone else was waiting in the stadium. Rahul was eating honeyed lemon tarts while sucking on his fingers like a toddler. He looked like a sack of potatoes to Ryan, though not even a very tasty sack of taters. The rather large boy was rambling on about something as they moved down the street, Ryan’s form hunched forward, his hoodie pulled up over his head. In the distance, the glowing lights of the stadium were shining out with audacity into the cool evening sky.

He could hear them even from the road.

“And then we trade back!!” Rahul bellowed, letting the lemonsweet crumbs tumble down his many chins, down his shirt. “Whaddya say, Ryan?”

“Huh?”

“Listen to me when I speak!” Rahul’s voice sounded pretty angry. I wonder how many tarts he could stuff in his big fat mouth.

“Oh, okay.”

“Why don’t we go now? I don’t want to fight my next battle without evolving my Kadabra!” Yeah, yeah, I get it. You already won your match today, so you want to gloat… The boy sighed heavily, trying to steady his racing heart.

Ryan’s eyes grew wide. “H-hey… what do you mean?”

“You weren’t listening to me, were you?”

“No sir.”

Rahul sighed like an irritable Tauros and replied, “Alright, but you better listen to me this time, Ryan. I swear, if you…”

“Yeah, yeah, yeah, out with it!”

“We can trade our Pokémon to evolve them.”

“What do you mean?”

“The trading machine. I only found out about it after dinner.”

“Oh.” Ryan’s cheeks were flushed as a cool wind blew against them. The trees lining the street on either side swayed back and forth, and a few dead leaves fell from the nearest one.

“Kadabra and Haunter can’t evolve unless we trade!”

“That’s a load of barnacles,” Ryan said savagely. “How are they supposed to evolve in the wild if they don’t have masters?”

“They don’t.”

“Now you’re just lying,” Ryan accused the big man. “There’s definitely wild Gengar and Alakazam.”

“Suuuuuuuure, Ryan. Why don’t you go wander through the forest looking for them?” When Ryan didn’t respond, Rahul continued, “If we trade our Pokémon, they’ll evolve, and…”

“I’m not giving you my Kadabra or Haunter.”

Rahul smacked his head dramatically. “Are you serious?! Ryan,” he said jovially, his dark eyes shining wet as butter, “we’ll trade them right back. This is just to get our Pokémon to evolve.”

“Nice plan.” It was a nice plan - a quaint, beautiful thing, like my grandmother’s basement. “But there’s no time… my fifth round match is about to start!”

“Yeah, yeah, keep telling yourself that.”

Ryan shook his head in annoyance. “Come on, let’s go.”

The two of them picked up the pace, arriving at the stadium three minutes before 7 o’clock. Ryan went through the special trainer entrance, as usual, walked through a short underground tunnel, and came to a holding area just inside the stadium, with an open door at the far end, looking out across the floor of the Indigo Stadium. There waiting for him were Logan, Alex, his mother, his father, and now Rahul. No Kelly, he thought. I wonder if she’ll be in the stands.

They rose to give him last minute words of advice or wishes of luck, as the referee called for Ryan’s name over the loudspeaker. His father remained in the background, dark as a mountain, mumbling along with the others, his eyes downcast, his words bleeding in with the obstreperous noise around them. Ryan looked to the man who had fathered him, but that dark-haired, bearded giant did not return his gaze.

Sucking in his breath, the boy moved past the others, up onto the trainer stage outside. The air was growing colder, and Ryan felt the heat evaporating off his cheeks like a furnace on a glacier. The referee was introducing him to riotous applause. All Ryan could think about was the Pokémon he would be choosing. Reaching for a Poké Ball, he noticed his hand was shaking. I’m in the finals, he thought to himself, I won four matches already. I can do this.

“And, all the way from Commerce City… it’s Rotunda, the young, beautiful competitor who has won four matches already in her first Indigo League!”

The crowd went wild. Out from the other hallway came a girl who looked like a Muk. She’s about half as tall as one. Her hair was straight and black, her face pulled back like a couple collapsed lumps of mashed potatoes. She wore a flashy red-and-black dress suit that sparkled and shined and looked like it was made of plastic. Her ears twinkled with hanging jewels; her face was powdered and covered thickly in makeup. That doesn’t help much. In her right hand was a sparkler. In the other was a diamond-encrusted Poké Ball. Following her around with an impossibly-white towel in his gloved hands, was a butler, as old as time. I bet his name is Jeeves. His parents knew when he was born what he’d become. That’s why they named him Jeeves, Ryan told himself.

The powdered butterball stepped onto her platform, and it rose into the air. Her butler came with her. I wish I had a butler…

“Oh, Rotuuuuuuuuuuunda…” came a screeching voice, like a sick bird, from behind the girl. Sitting on the bench for friends and family was an old woman dressed all in white silken lace with a frilly hat, what looked like a pirate’s shirt, and a pair of massive pink, heart-shaped sunglasses. She was fanning herself with one of those cheap handheld Pidgey fans that you could get from a vendor outside the stadium for like 5 Poké Dollars. “Be a good girl for mama. Win another match, dear!! Oh, do put on a show!”

“Quiet, mamaaaaah!” roared Rotunda. Her voice was like a train, impossibly deep and vile for someone of her size and being. Above them, in the middle of the stage, a greasy newspaper drifted through the air, carried by a fading wind.

The referee said a few more things, and yada yada yada, the flags were raised, and the match was begun. Ryan’s ears hurt. He swallowed and said, “NaVorro, I choose you!”

“Heieieiiaahahaaaah!” the Bull Pokémon snorted, upon exiting his ball. He landed softly on the brown stone ground and began to pace before his foe.

“Frumple-tootykins, come out and play!” grunted Rotunda.

From her ball was released a Flareon.

“Oh, marvelous! He’s absolutely marvelous, isn’t he! Precious little animal, so prim and proper, oh look at his bow!” Rotunda’s mother gushed from behind her child.

Indeed, the Flareon looked as elegant as a hippy in a tree. His fur was combed and shiny, his colors deep and vibrant, his eyes shining coolly. On his throat was a little pink bowtie, obviously installed by none other than Rotunda. Rotunda looks rather rotund to me. But this Pokémon’s legit.

“NaVorro, Earthquake!”

Rotunda shouted something at her Pokémon too, but it was lost in the noise around the boy. He watched as his Tauros ran towards the Flareon, jumped in the air, crashed down upon the ground, and caused the stage to shake violently.

The well-groomed Flareon screamed as it was beaten about. And when it sailed into the air, as lifeless as the ocean floor, Ryan roared with laughter. Crashing onto the ground a second later, the Flareon crumpled into a curled-up position and did not move again.

That’s it boy. Let’s crush Rotunda and her mother. “Oh heavens me! Oh good gracious!” Rotunda’s mother wailed, mock-fainting into the arms of another butler, who caught her with tired care. He’s done that a hundred times, Ryan noted.

The next Pokémon Rotunda chose was a female Wartortle that wore a little dress and makeup. “Body Slam that fool!” Ryan ordered his bull, and NaVorro answered the call. The Tauros slammed into the little Wartortle and sent its bruised shell sliding into the far wall. The crowd screamed for more blood, for more, for more, for more. The boy gulped and held onto the railing. He didn’t let himself feel satisfied, didn’t let himself feel content. Not till the battle’s over.

“Wartortle is unable to battle!” the floor referee bellowed, raising the green flag that was Ryan’s. Rotunda’s second red dot disappeared from below her smug little portrait on the big screen overhead.

“Oh, my word, my aching heart! Bad heavens, evil heavens, curse that strange woman for telling me my sweet pea would win this tournament!!”

Rotunda was sweating a little now. She had those peep eyes, that shifting face. She was worried, like a Linoone in the tall grass. Her butler handed her the third Poké Ball graciously, and she snatched it from his gloved palm like Rahul would grab at lemon tarts. She threw it and screamed, “Finish this ugly, stupid creep, Queen Bubble-Aura Erebus Kitsune!”

It was a Clefable, the rarest of all the aliens, Ryan knew. The same species of Pokémon that ended Kelly’s tourney. “Okay, boy, you know what to do! Show that Clefable that this isn’t a game for frilly little girls!”

NaVorro stamped his foot and charged at Rotunda’s last Pokémon. A great dustcloud grew as the two fought, the Tauros trampling about as the Clefable no doubt tried that same move that built the pyramids all those years ago. The crowd was chanting - some of them for Ryan, others for Rotunda. Rotunda was grunting something inaudible and low, like a screamo singer (she sounded about as good as one too) while her mother wailed from behind like a Meowth caught in a tree.

Nothing anyone said made a difference. All their words are wind. When the dust cleared, NaVorro jumped back and revealed to everyone looking on that the Clefable was well and truly defeated - the bold pink little thing had been left in a crater the size of a Nidoking. It was twitching uncomfortably and was covered in bruises and scratches; NaVorro on the other hand looked to be untouched, like a leper in port. The referee ran over, gave the fallen creature a sniff, and raised his green flag dramatically.

I won. Rotunda was screaming like a petulant child, hitting her butler in the stomach with fists of steel. Her mother cried from behind, “Dreadful, cursed mudsuckers! This plebeian filth should be drowned like newborn Growlithe! Oh, neither good nor bad heavens!” She waved her Pidgey fan so hard that it split down the middle and slapped her across the face. The old woman fell shrieking, into the waiting arms of her butler.

“Ryan, from Acapulco, has won this fifth round match! Congratulations, Ryan!” the referee said happily from over the loudspeakers. “Well, folks, that’s one more trainer who’s made it into the quarter finals! Wow, the field keeps narrowing!”

“Good work, NaVorro,” Ryan yelled to his prancing Tauros, whom the crowd was serenading. “Return!”

Descending from the trainer platform and walking back inside the stadium, Ryan thought, he’s not wrong. There’s only 8 of us left… out of 256. It felt surreal - and even more surreal was the fact that both he and Rahul had made it into the quarter finals.

“Her Pokémon were really weak.” That was Alex’s voice, deep and quiet. He was the first to reach Ryan. “I don’t know how she made it this far in the competition…”

“Yeah, that was weird!” Ryan agreed. “But I guess all that matters is that I won… right?!”

He chuckled nervously and glanced about, landing his gaze on his father, who stood cross-armed at the back of the group. The man’s dark eyes studied Ryan. He nodded, curtly. The room felt so cold.

A rush of emotion burst through Ryan’s veins. Relief, he wondered? Or fear? The teal-haired trainer couldn’t tell which it was he was feeling.


She was sitting on the edge of her pickup truck, her grand-grand-grand pappy’s baby momma on her knee. Both of them were working on pixie sticks like feral Arcanine. The older woman - the one who operated this place - looked not a day over 105 and had a face like a Golem’s backside. She wore greasy overalls and a red-and-white bandana and was spitting something into a metal bucket at her feet as she sucked on her pixie stick.

Their balls traveled through the tubes and such of the trading machine like beeping dots. When it was over, Ryan held Rahul’s Kadabra, and Rahul held Ryan’s. I suppose they aren’t Kadabra anymore. Ryan had talked this over with Kadabra and Spectre before deciding to go through with it. Both of them wanted to evolve… Spectre especially.

The old woman spat into her bucket and slapped her knee. “We’re cookin’ now! Now we’re cookin’ real good!” She had one tooth.

“Now let’s switch them again.”

“Alright.”

And so, through the miracle of trade manipulation, Ryan and Rahul returned their Kadabras to one another, now evolved into Alakazam. Somehow, I don’t think whoever designed this meant for us to evolve our Pokémon like this. Ryan didn’t care, though. That’s what happens when Kadabra can’t evolve naturally for some unknown dumb reason.

The old woman watched them trade their Poké Balls, shooting the little red-and-white objects through the bulky, humming machine. She sucked in the air and spit it out again and never blinked. On her knee, the small girl sang to herself and spit sugar on the floor.

Soon, Ryan’s Gengar was ready too. Once his new Pokémon were returned to him, Ryan let his fresh Pokébuddies out of their balls to inspect them. The air reeked of car exhaust.

“Alakazam, the Psi Pokémon. A Pokémon that can memorize anything. It never forgets what it learns—that's why this Pokémon is smart.”

“Oh great, now you’re a genius!” Ryan lamented. “My poor Alakazam!”

“Zam,” replied Alakazam lazily.

Walking up to them, he noticed that his new Alakazam was quite tall - not so tall as Ryan or the others, but much taller than Kadabra, or Abra. He definitely can’t ride in my backpack anymore. “How do you feel, buddy?”

“Alakazam…” the Pokémon yawned, twirling his spoons.

He never evolved for dad. I wonder why he was so eager to evolve for me. Weird. “Cool. I’m sure that means you’re doing great.” Moving on to Spectre, Ryan said, “Yo, lookin’ good, ghost buster!”

“Gengar geng!” Spectre said with a wide grin.

He looks a bit like Rotunda now. Ryan beamed. “Gengar gengar gengar. Geng geng gengar!” he declared passionately.

“Gengar?” replied Spectre, in shock. “Gengar gengar!”

“Yeah boy!” Ryan said carelessly.

This went on for some time. Alakazam stretched out his fingers and legs and tested some of his psychic capabilities before growing bored and falling asleep against the far wall. Gengar decided to forget about physics and began flying back and forth through walls. Rahul didn’t even take his new Alakazam out of its ball. He ran into the corner, took out his phone, and muttered:

“I’m gonna look at thousands of emotional cringe quotes for five hours and share as many of them as I can to my facebook wall,” he explained to the old woman sitting in the back of her pickup truck, which, for some reason, was parked inside the room with the trading station.

On the other side of the room were Alex and Logan, arguing aggressively about something. Somehow I don’t think they’re discussing nuclear proliferation. So since we need a little time between the battles, this is a great time to resolve that burning mystery of the Logan/Alex debate!

“Okay, spill the peas.” Ryan’s voice was very authoritative. “You guys are always arguing about something, so now I want to know what it is!”

“Oh, okay,” said Alex.

“It’s none of Alex’s business!”

Alex shrugged. “I was just curious.” He took out some noodles and began to eat them, but this time he didn’t slurp them at all even though he definitely did.

“So what’s the deal?” Ryan put his hands on his hips.

“Logan said that he was raised by wild Clefable.”

“Well, it’s true!” the other boy said earnestly. “I was raised by Clefable until I was six years old!”

Oh here we go. “Logan, you said you used to live in Saffron City.”

“Yeah, that was after,” Logan said quickly.

Ryan shook his head. “Okay, fine. So what’s the big deal?” He directed that question at Alex.

“It’s odd, I thought.”

“Yeah, it’s a bit strange,” Ryan agreed. “Clefable are supposed to be space aliens anyways.”

“How did you learn how to speak and act like a civilized person?” Alex questioned. “If you really were raised by Clefable, wouldn’t you be wild like that boy who was raised by Kangaskhan all those years ago? I read about him once…”

“No, and stop asking me questions!” Logan’s voice was strained. “Stop being so rude and prying into my personal life like that!”

“You wouldn’t happen to be ignoring important stuff while focusing on trivialities again, would you, Alex?” Ryan asked the Chinese boy.

“No. Alright. Oh, okay,” explained Alex.

“Quiet!” Rahul bellowed from across the room. “I’m trying to concentrate on my emotional quotes!” He held up his phone dramatically and pointed at it while petting his goatee. “Ahem,” he said, clearing his throat, “Do you ever feel like you're constantly at the crossroads of destiny, shoutout to my friends and co-workers <3 you can't think of a better crew probably cause I haven't met them yet, jk…”

“Shut it down!” Ryan bellowed, causing Rahul to squeal and roll away down the floor, under the pickup truck.

Above them, Spectre blew through the air like a bullet, cackling.

“So you were raised by Clefable.”

“Yeah, I can speak their language too.” Logan sounded bored.

“Are they really aliens?” asked Alex. “I need you to ask them if the Zerg is still out there, somewhere in space.”

“No way!” Logan’s apathy turned to anger. “I’m not going back to those freaks! I’m never speaking to a Clefable again.”

“Alright,” grunted Alex.

“Great talk guys,” nodded Ryan. Why do I even bother, he wondered? I knew if I asked, it would be something stupid.

Logan and Alex were still arguing when the old woman kicked them out and told them to go back to their hotel rooms. So the four boys shuffled off into the night (Ryan returned both the sleeping Alakazam and hyperactive Spectre into their Poké Balls). The nights have gotten colder. It’s still summer, but it’s not so warm anymore… not like at the beginning of the tournament.

Ahead of them, on the road leading towards the main hotel, a hotdog vendor was pushing his trolley. When they came upon him, they saw that he was digging into his own supplies, eating hotdogs with untamed grace. There was mustard and relish smeared on his face, and he seemed like he was crying. Ryan was perfectly content to leave the man to his wanton gluttony, but Rahul just had to open his big mouth. A big mouth for a big man.

“Proud fools talk too much,” mumbled Alex, shaking his fine head. But quick, he had to lower his head to return to playing Fire Emblem as the rest of the events unfolded around him. Gotta grind faster, yo.

“What’s the matter?” Rahul was saying. “Don’t be shy, I have a motivational quote for whatever is troubling you.”

“It’s just… well, I heard that Giovanni died,” the man sobbed, stuffing some bread and ketchup down his throat.

“Who’s that?” Logan asked.

“Who’s that? WHO’S THAT?!?!?!” The man flung himself into the grass dramatically and rolled about a bit before sitting up. “He’s only the leader of Team Rocket, for President Goodshow’s sake!”

“Oh really?” Ryan’s cheeks felt warm again. The cold night air bit at him like a Charmeleon. “That’s a shame.”

“A crying shame, hence the tears!” the man pointed out, a little too matter-of-factly for Ryan’s tastes. Be more subtle. Be more funny.

“What does it matter to you?” Alex asked coldly, not even looking up from his 3DS.

“He was my best paying customer! Do you know how many dogs he ordered a month?”

Everyone shook their heads. “Thousands! I was rich!”

“Well, if he just died, you should still have a lot of money,” Ryan said helpfully.

“I have a very expensive apron collection!” the man wailed. “It’s all I can do to not go broke buying new fancy aprons for myself… and now without Giovanni, I’m done!”

“Ya blew it!” Logan said. “Now get outta here, you scoundrel, Team Rocket’s no good, and we don’t care about them!”

“Yeah, go away now,” Ryan agreed. “We’re never going to see you again, and your sob story isn’t even notable enough to make you a character of the week,” he explained.

“Curses!” The man tried to stand, but he couldn’t. He collapsed back onto the ground and began ripping up the grass around him in obsession and grief. The four boys left him there and didn’t feel guilty at all. Indeed, they never thought about him again.

I wonder what that’ll mean for Team Rocket… and Jessica, Ryan thought. I guess, the last time I saw her, I left her hanging. They were soon back in the hotel, riding the same elevator up to the same floor. Just like every other day, they marched down the silent carpeted floors, coming to their doors. Alex and Rahul stepped into their room without issue. I bet Alex never tried to put Rahul on the cot. Not that Rahul could fit on it…

He decided to leave Logan at the door and continued the march on down the hallway until he came to the door at the end of the room. For a moment, the boy’s fist was curled just in front of the wood, preparing to spring forward and knock. It was late, but not that late. Still, he couldn’t bring himself to knock. She’s just going to yell at me again, he knew. I’ll just make her mad.

Ryan didn’t want to make Kelly mad. He brought out Alakazam and said, “Okay, so you’re a genius now, right boy?”

“Kah!”

“Tell me what to do about this,” he said, gesturing to the door.

“Alakazam, zam zam ka zam!” Alakazam spoke with a lazy drawl. He spun his spoons around and his hands were swinging about like a proper politician’s. “Ala, zam alakazam, alakazam, alakazam.”

“Huh.” Ryan fell to his knees and slumped up against the door he wanted so desperately to break through. “You know, things were a lot simpler when you were an Abra, buddy.”

“Zam,” Alakazam agreed sadly.


He awoke from a nightmare he didn’t remember, sitting up covered in sweat. To the left, pushed away from the bed, Logan lay snoring lightly. The room was completely dark aside from the blinking digital clock at the bedside. Ryan found the remote control and turned on the TV, putting the volume on mute.

Of course, he thought, as he beheld what was on. Rahul’s battle against the girl named Lobelia was playing - a recording from earlier that day. The first match of the day, the boy reflected. Rahul was the first one into the top 8. The match had been quick, too. Ryan and the others hadn’t been seated for more than five minutes before it was over. It’s always his Charizard. He always tries to sweep with Charizard. This time it had been successful. In some of the previous matches… well, Rahul had been forced to bring out other members of his team, but he’d never been challenged very much. He never lost two Pokémon in one match, like I did against Ronny. Here too, in the first round of the finals, Rahul dealt with his foe harshly.

We’re on separate sides of the board. I noticed that this morning. I won’t face Rahul until the finals, if we both make it that far. Also on the right side of the tournament bracket, where Ryan was, was Ivy, the trainer who had beat Kelly. I’m facing her in the next round. I’ll try my best to avenge Kelly. But he was too tired now to think about strategies to beat that girl.

Ryan was drained. From spending all night with the others, to having dinner with his parents, he just wanted some quality alone time. Dinner with mom and dad was so awkward. Dad’s still mad at me, and he knows Abra evolved. What am I supposed to do, he wondered? Abra chose me. Getting out of bed, but taking his blankets and pillows with him, Ryan sat down in front of the TV and turned the volume on a little bit.

“And up next is the marquee matchup of the day! Julia versus Alabaster Jene! What can you tell me about these two trainers, Freddy Bob Jr.?”

Freddy Bob Jr., the intrepid reporter, held his microphone like an ice cream cone. “Well, and thanks Jimothy Jane, but I’ll tell you guys, this is one crazy matchup! Julia looks like the strongest trainer in the competition - she didn’t lose a single Pokémon in any of the four battles she won already, and…”

“What, no way!” Ryan breathed. She swept all four matches?!

“This is of course her fourth year in the tournament, and every year she’s gotten further! As you well know, Jimothy, Julia was a quarterfinalist a year ago! And now she’s hoping to at least match her deepest push into this tournament by beating Alabaster Jene!”

“Yeah, and I understand Alabaster is a skilled Pokémon trainer as well. Is that right, Freddy Bob Jr.?”

“That’s right Jimothy.” There was an awkward pause of dead air.

“Tell the viewers at home a little bit about him.”

Freddy Bob Jr. pressed at something in his ear and laughed nervously. “Yeah, uh, well, Alabaster Jene is the runner up from last year. A fifth-year competitor in this league, he has only reached the finals once before, and he’s looking to avenge his second place finish last year by taking it all this year!”

“Wow, saucy!” murmured Jimothy Jane.

“Haha, yeah, right back at you, Jimothy,” Freddy Bob Jr. said in monotone, without a hint of warmth. “Here’s a fun fact for you: Alabaster Jene is one of only two competitors in this tournament who owns a Dragonite. Can you name the other competitor?”

“Heh, okay, settle down Freddy Bob Jr.,” Jimothy said darkly. “That’s really not funny. No one has any idea what the answer to your obscure, ridiculous question is. Really, do I have to give you another lecture about professionalism again tonight?”

“N-no Jimothy Jane!”

Jimothy stared at the reporter with a fiery gaze. “You better not disappoint me again, Freddy Bob Jr.”

At that moment, the camera panned onto the stage, where the two trainers were beginning to battle.

“It’s me…” Ryan whispered as quietly as he could. I’m the only other person with a Dragonite.

He hadn’t watched this match when it had happened - at noon or so that very day. I had been preparing for my own battle. But what he saw from Julia did not disappoint him. She was incredibly professional, ruthless as a Gyarados. She destroyed Alabaster Gene with her Jolteon, taking out his Seaking, Fearow, and Dragonite without needing to switch in a replacement. Another sweep. She’s good. He yawned and rubbed his eyes, trying to remember what he had been dreaming about, but all he could remember was the headache he’d had.

She swept last year’s runner up, the boy thought, walking over to the mini fridge to get a midnight snack. She’s so good… she could beat Rahul, if they meet. But from what Ryan remembered of the bracket, that wouldn’t happen until the semifinals, if it did at all. He had more important things to prepare for… like his upcoming match with Ivy. If I win that, I’ll be in the top 4. It felt so weird to think about that. He was doing much better than he had ever expected. It’s all Alex, though. I’m just doing what he told me to.

Sighing, the boy grabbed his food, climbed into bed, and returned to watching the rest of the day’s matches on silent, as he did every night. He didn’t watch many of them in person, so this was his best way to keep up on the various trainers, in case he got matched against some of them later on.

Currently, a pale boy named Awabi the Sundance Child was battling a girl named Roseberry Gran. Ryan held up his plate to the Alakazam snoozing next to him and asked, “Kasha?” He wasn’t even holding a bowl of kasha, he had just always wanted to say that.

“Zam…” breathed the sleepy Pokémon, so Ryan turned away and ate all the food himself as he watched the battle unfold. A Vaporeon was destroying a Charizard on the screen, much to the awe of the crowd. The teal-haired boy didn’t know which belonged to which trainer. And he didn’t care, for in the next moment, he fell asleep, a bowl of ice cream in his hand that would surely melt all over the sheets and cause a right mess in the morning. But we don’t have to worry about such things tonight, so sleep tight.

Episode 37: Our Shadows Taller Than Our Soul

“On the green side, we have Ivy, a young trainer from Pallet Town!” the voice of the referee boomed. I’ve had this referee before, Ryan reflected. He sounds like the guy from my second match. “This is her third year competing in the tournament! Previous finishes include top 64 and top 128! Certainly, she will finish in the top 8 this year, and I’m sure her aspirations are even higher than that!”

The sun was bright that summer day, fresh as a burning poker in the cloudless sky. There were banners for her, flags and all sorts of things, with her name, pictures of her Pokémon, and cringe emotional quotes that would have made Rahul wet himself. They like her a lot. That didn’t scare Ryan. He hadn’t been the most popular contestant in many of his matches so far. He was anxious to start, to debut his Ghost Pokémon in this tournament. And hopefully get a little revenge for Kelly. He hoped desperately that she was at least watching this on TV.

“And on the red side, Ryan from Acapulco is challenging Ivy! This is his first tournament, even though he’s already fourteen years old, and he’s on a hot winning streak…”

Ryan didn’t know a lot about Ivy. He had watched her beat Kelly because of a - let’s be real - cheap move. Kelly was a better trainer than her. She outplayed Ivy and got unlucky. He didn’t like Ivy. Ryan was loyal to Kelly. He wanted to beat this girl, and badly. Maybe that’s what it’ll take…

Ivy wore a black hood, and dark clothes were draped around her, obscuring the form of her body. She was short, though. That much he could tell. The crowd was cheering something in the background. They’re always cheering something. Ivy flicked her neck back, and her hood fell to her shoulders. Dark was her hair, pale was her flesh. Her face was dressed in makeup, though she had used much more care than Rotunda had. Her lips were so red, it looked like she was bleeding. In the light of day, she looked unreal, almost like a drawing that had sprung off a page.

“Oh my goodness whee!” Ryan moaned. “The girl got hot!”

“A reminder to the trainers… several rules have been changed now that we have reached the quarterfinals,” the referee spoke into the microphone. “All battles from now on will be six on six. You may now switch out Pokémon as you wish, and doing so will not result in a technical knockout. Putting an opponent’s Pokémon to sleep will also not result in that Pokémon being disqualified.” Yeah, great. If only that rule had been in effect for Kelly. “All of the other rules still apply. Are there any questions?”

Ivy and Ryan shook their heads.

“Begin!” the referee shouted from the stadium floor, raising both flags, and suddenly, in reflex, Ryan was throwing his Poké Ball. Out of it came his Gengar. The onlookers gasped and whooped. Yeah, I know. You’re in for a real show now.

Across from Gengar was a Wigglytuff. “Alright, that’s okay,” Ryan breathed. “Hypnosis, Spectre!”

“Gengaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaar!”

Wigglytuff was a little puff ball, like those furballs Persian used to leave on the couch at Ryan’s parents’ house. It didn’t have a chance. Spectre flew up to it with the energy of a freshly-evolved Pokémon and began to swing his favorite little pendulum thingy in front of the Wigglytuff’s eyes. Wigglytuff’s eyes grew large and unfocused, and a moment later, the Balloon Pokémon collapsed, fast asleep. But it’s not knocked out anymore. Gotta remember that. It annoyed Ryan that the rules had been changed now, a little more than halfway through the tournament, but there wasn’t anything he could do about that.

Ivy shouted, “Return!” and threw another Poké Ball. This one housed a Seadra.

“Thunderbolt!” Ryan ordered his Pokémon.

“Hydro Pump!” came lil makeup-face’s command.

Gengar was faster. Way faster. Spectre was like lightning, shooting towards his quarry. Ryan had never seen such a fast Pokémon before. The electricity was in between his claws, growing like a small sun, before he threw it at the Water Pokémon. The Seadra was revving up its own attack - it had nowhere to dodge, no way to hit Gengar first. The electricity washed over it like a wave, causing Seadra to shriek. Damaged though it was, it hadn’t managed to get KO’d by that devastating blow.

Hydro Pump sent Gengar flying back, covered in water. He looked none too pleased. He’s hurt, but not too bad. “Okay, finish it off with another Thunderbolt!” he told Spectre, and his Pokémon repeated his previous attack to perfection. Once again, Spectre’s speed was something to behold, enough to take the breath away. Ryan realized his hand was shaking and tried to stop it, grasping the metal railing of the trainer platform to calm himself. He’ll do fine. I’m okay. I got this.

This time, Seadra could not withstand the biting electricity. It snaked up and down the water dragon’s body before exploding and sending the beast skidding across the stage. The referee’s red flag went up, and the crowd roared in answer. Ryan let out the breath of air he realized he’d been holding in his chest. He thought of Alex’s advice, of the type advantages and disadvantages, and tried not to let his mind slip as the crowd grew with anticipatory energy around him.

Next came Ivy’s Machamp. Four-armed and tall was it, covered in rippling muscles better suited for a statue than a living being.

“What the heck…” Ryan muttered, taking out Dex. “How does she have such a cool Pokémon?”

“Machamp, the Superpower Pokémon,” the Pokédex stated plainly. “One arm alone can move mountains. Using all four arms, this Pokémon fires off awesome punches.”

“Th-that… that description is exaggerated, right? Right?!” he said in panic, turning to Alex.

From the bench below, Alex shrugged. “Machamp are extremely powerful. Just wait till you see the Mega Machamp I made. Watch out. Do what damage you can, and beware of Earthquake, if he has it.”

“Right.”

“Thunderbolt, yeah!”

“Try Earthquake this time!”

Oh great. She knows what she’s doing. Maybe he had underestimated her. Spectre’s energy bolt hit Machamp in the chest, bringing the four-armed fighter to its knees. It cried out and its skin grew charred around the impact site, but once the effects of Gengar’s attack faded, it stood up, without so much as a hint of sluggishness, and slammed its four arms down upon the ground. The Earthquake that arose was so fierce that Ryan nearly fell off his trainer platform. Spectre was banged around as the stage split and cracked and bits of rocks jutted upwards. When it was over, the Gengar was deflated, like at least 98 of the red balloons. He’s done.

“Hang in there, Spectre!” Ryan cried. “Don’t give up!”

From behind, Alex stood up, folding his arms. “It’s time, Ryan.”

“Huh, time?!”

“Your new move.”

“Oh… yeah!” Ryan returned his attention to his Pokémon, who was struggling to find his way back over to Machamp. “Spectre, Explosion!”

“Earthquake it, Machamp, hurry!” Ivy’s voice rose over Ryan’s.

The two Pokémon suddenly rushed forward again, their speed returning to them. For a moment, Spectre looked to be as fast as he had been earlier. He landed behind the Machamp, who was preparing to start another Earthquake (Ryan grabbed onto the railings real tight just in case). That was when Spectre conjured up a flaming spire of white light. It rose up over his head at least twenty feet, so bright it made Ryan’s eyes water just looking at it. The crowd’s energy rose tenfold.

“Feel dat fire!” the boy shouted recklessly, channeling his best Jun Baba-o impression.

Gengar let out a yell and released the energy, sending it in all directions. Spectators and referees up to the third rows of the stands went diving for cover, as did the friends and family of both trainers. Luckily, Ryan was on an elevated trainer platform, and all of the energy flowed under him like a churning sea. That’s it, Spectre. You did good. I’m proud of you.

The light cleared. The crowd waited with baited breath. Machamp and Gengar both stood upright, still as leaves on a dead tree. They looked cooked, though - charred black. Each let out a hoarse breath before falling over. The nearest referee raised both flags and spoke, “Both Pokémon are unable to continue battling!”

Two dots were gone from the green legion under Ivy’s pretty digital portrait. Ryan had five red dots, burning out in pixelized paradises. I can’t forget her Wigglytuff’s asleep. We’ll have to deal with that, soon.

He had more pressing matters than that, such as deciding which Pokémon to use next. I have no idea what she’ll pick. I know she has a Slowbro and a Clefable. But what else? What are the other three? He shook his head, knowing he would never figure out the answer to this puzzle and decided to just get it over with.

“Myrrah, it’s your turn!”

Ivy’s Poké Ball revealed a Raichu. Uh oh.

He already knew what Ivy would order her Pokémon to attack with. Thunderbolt. Okay, well Myrrah should be able to take a couple hits. She has that hard shell and everything. “Blizzard, Myrrah!” Ryan ordered her.

The Cloyster rolled through the shattered brown stone stage, summoning her patented Blizzard attack as she moved laboriously. Raichu was faster - much faster. It pounced from one broken rock to another until it landed in front of Myrrah. The Cloyster’s Blizzard wasn’t ready yet. Raichu giggled a “Raiiiiiiichuuuuu!” before unleashing a torrent of electrical apocalypse upon the poor Water/Ice Pokémon.

Cloyster fell over with a thick thud. The crowd groaned in surprise. “Cloyster is unable to continue battling!” the referee declared, and a second dot faded from Ryan’s side of the board.

No… he thought, get up, girl. I know you can take more! But she wouldn’t. That became clear soon enough.

“It must have been a crit!” Alex shouted from below. “Unlucky!”

Ryan sighed and bowed his head. “So typical…” Alright here we go. He threw another Poké Ball, and out from this one came his Tauros. Fresh off the sweep yesterday, NaVorro was ready to prove he was Ryan’s second strongest Pokémon. You have a lot of competition… but I don’t mind you trying to show me why you’re so powerful, buddy.

NaVorro started off by Body Slamming Ivy’s Raichu. Raichu gave him a mean Thunderbolt, and that hurt pretty bad, so far as Ryan could tell. The Tauros followed that up with a devastating Earthquake attack that sent Raichu and Ivy flying (although Ivy caught herself before she fell off the trainer platform). When the dust settled, the referee declared Raichu unfit to continue battling.

That’s a little better, he thought. Yeah, we have a chance. His opponent was down three Pokémon and had a fourth set fast asleep. Ryan still had three Pokémon in reserve, plus his noble, but worn out Tauros. Ivy finally brought out her Slowbro, whom Ryan had been long expecting. Spectre might’ve been good against Slowbro, but this is okay.

“Body Slam it!”

“Neieieiahahahahhhh!”

Body Slam was a powerful move, but against Slowbro, who was as sturdy as an old pickup truck, the massive collision only seemed to rattle it a bit. This guy’s got a lot of health. We’re at the disadvantage. NaVorro can’t afford to take too many more hits.

Interrupting Ryan from his thoughts was NaVorro sailing through the air as a purple Psychic attack hit the bull right in the chest. When NaVorro stood up again, he looked to be quite damaged. Running on fumes. That’s okay. Let’s go out with a bang, NaVorro.

The Hyper Beam charged just like the one NaVorro had used against Ronny’s Lapras. NaVorro, sluggish and tired, sprinted down the broken stage towards his quarry, readying his strongest attack. The crowd was screaming in hysteria. Ryan swallowed and heard only his heartbeat. Please be enough, Ryan hoped.

“Do a Surf attack!” said Ivy.

NaVorro’s energy released from his mouth, flaming over the Slowbro. Slowbro was too dumb to realize what had happened and just fell over, letting itself get cooked up. It seemed to be heavily damaged by this, as it was going on. When the attack ended, however, Slowbro shook its head, sat up, and hopped back on that wave it had been riding towards NaVorro.

The splash that soon followed was sickening to hear; it echoed through the stage like chime bells, and even the crowd went momentarily silent. Yet, when the referee raised his green flag and noted that Ryan’s Tauros had indeed failed, the spectators grew raucous again. Chants of ‘Ivy, Ivy, Ivy!’ pervaded the hall. Their banners were many; Ivy’s supporters seemed to be a majority of those in attendance. Where are my banners, he thought? Where are my fans?

He took his next Poké Ball out of his pocket. This one wasn’t like the last three. It wasn’t part of his plan or strategy. This was a whim, a gut feeling. Ryan hadn’t expected to face Slowbro this late in the match. But here Slowbro was, severely damaged, but very much still in contention. Slowbro was slow, though. Anything faster could probably take it out in one hit. You beat one Water Pokémon already. You can beat another.

Ryan’s Poké Ball flew through the air, breaking open on a cracked line of stone below. From the white light materialized a fully-rested male Charizard. “Fire Blast that thing back to whatever cesspool it crawled out from!” Ryan shrieked.

Aegon roared in approval. His leathern wings flapped, and into the sky he went. The Charizard’s most powerful flame attack started cooking between his teeth. He was putting on a show for the spectators, Ryan soon realized, for Aegon took his sweet time flying around that stadium charging up his attack.

From below, Ivy had ordered her Slowbro to use a Surf attack. Too bad Slowbro’s way slower than Charizard. Aegon soared gracefully around the stage, the sun shining off his healthy orange flesh. Then, the Charizard turned and went into freefall. Streamlining his body, Aegon fell to the earth, making sure he landed behind the Slowbro. Poor little Slowbro was just beginning to form up its wave to ride upon when dragonfire licked at its neck and back. The beast cried out in pain, absorbing the fire, and fell over, off its wave, into a mess of broken rock. The referee once again ran over to check on a Pokémon, and once again his flag was raised. “Slowbro is no longer able to battle!”

Four down. Two to go.

Her Wigglytuff came next, fast asleep. Ryan’s mind was humming with the constant low roar of the crowd. His palms were slicked over with sweat. Aegon proceeded to give that Wigglytuff a good wiggle (aka Earthquake), a nice sauna experience (Fire Blast), and the big tamale for the finale (Hyper Beam). All throughout the attacks, Wigglytuff never woke up. It was great.

One dot. One Pokémon. Ryan had three dots left. Alakazam and Thurnax are in reserve… two of my strongest Pokémon. It has to be over. There’s no way she can get through my remaining Pokémon.

“Clefable, this is your shot!” Ivy’s voice carried across the stadium like gossamer on the wind.

“That’s it, that’s the alien!” Alex shouted from below. “Ask it about the Queen of Blades! Do the Clefable know about the Zerg?”

“No, Alex, stop it! I’m not doing it!” Logan whined.

Ryan ignored them.“Earthquake!”

“Clefable, Sing!”

“Oh, no! Aegon, dodge it! Go into the air!”

But Aegon was already banging on the ground, ya’know? He was just so excited, see. Clefable went flopping around, losing about 47% of its health, if the damage calculators are to be believed. That was a great sight, definitely something for the kids. You get your money’s worth with a good thrashing. Indeed, it’s stunning to realize that Clefable got up. That thing had bulk. Like when Kelly’s Tauros Body Slammed it… it still got up. That was crazy. Ryan was seeing the same thing happen to him. Now came the Sing move - a notoriously inaccurate attack. Ryan knew well what this move could do, and he had, of course, ordered Aegon into the air. Thus, Aegon flew again, and Sing did not reach his ears.

Around, the spectators, referees, and everyone else within range of Clefable’s Sing had put on some ear plugs, except for a few who didn’t want to listen to the referee’s warning or who had faulty ear plugs - those guys just fell asleep and didn’t get to see the thrilling conclusion to this battle.

On the next round, Charizard tried a Fire Blast attack, but Clefable rolled out of the wave, letting the fire scorch the stones around it. Then, it shot a Blizzard at Aegon. And because Aegon is a Flying Pokémon, that attack hurt really bad. The Flame Pokémon nearly dropped out of the sky when the Blizzard hit him. When the snows finally cleared, he let out a cry of pain and jubilation that the cold had fled.

His next attack was another Earthquake - always reliable - and soon after, he had to endure a second Blizzard. That attack ravaged the Charizard, sending him crashing into the rocky ground with a thud. Briefly, the referee had run over to Aegon to inspect him, but had deemed the Pokémon still able to fight, so he had stepped away. Charizard sat up, shaking ice off his wings, and looked to his trainer. A puff of fire exuded from Charizard’s mouth as the Pokémon breathed hard.

“Hyper Beam!” Ryan bellowed, and Charizard obeyed his master. Hyper Beam was becoming Ryan’s Kamehameha, it appeared. But that was okay. So long as it gets the job done. He already knew it was over; but watching it didn’t make that taste of victory any less sweet. Charizard, too tired to fly, stumbled over to the weakened Clefable, and blasted it with a bright beam of energy. Clefable flew back, hitting one of the outer walls of the arena, and slumped over, unconscious.

“He did it, he did it! Ryan, from Acapulco, has beaten Ivy to advance to the semifinals of the Indigo League!”

A chill fell down Ryan’s spine. He looked up, his eyes misty and wide, at the crowd around him, the thousands upon thousands of them. All of them were looking at him. All of them were cheering him. I’m in the top 4, he realized. I’m one of the top four trainers in Kanto. The starkness of that accomplishment blew his mind, and he couldn’t appreciate what he had done fully - not here, not now. Looking for pink hair in the masses of people seated in ascending rows on all sides of him, Ryan turned about, scanning. He found no one looking like her. Maybe she saw it on TV.

Descending from the trainer platform, Ryan made the familiar return to his friends and family. He wanted to look them in the eyes, to relish in what they had to say, but he couldn’t. Not this time. He looked down, felt their words tumble over him like water, so he wouldn’t have to face his father. I haven’t brought out your Abra yet… not since you’ve been here. And maybe I won’t have to. He feared what would happen if his father saw with his own eyes that Abra had evolved - not just once, but twice.

They were praising him, embracing him. His mother was ruffling up his hair and telling him how proud she was of her only son. He was sure his father had said something too. Ryan didn’t focus on it. He clutched Alakazam’s Poké Ball in his hand, felt his hand shaking, and bit his lip. I won. I did really good. Why doesn’t it feel good to win? Why am I not feeling anything at all? I’m in the top 4…

But still, the hand that clutched the ball shook, even if ever so slightly. And Ryan couldn’t stop it.


When they returned to the check-in station, Ryan learned that Awabi the Sundance Child had defeated a girl name Penny-lope to advance to the semi-finals as well. He’ll be my opponent for a spot in the finals. The teal-haired trainer’s stomach churned. I’ll have to watch his last battle tonight to see if I can figure out how to beat him.

As idle Chansey moved about, sweeping the floors, and Nurse Joys at reception desks talked with travelers and trainers alike, Ryan looked to the other side of the bracket, where Rahul and Julia were. Neither had done their quarterfinals match yet. Rahul’s is in fifteen minutes.

Rahul was fighting a boy named Jhaqa; Julia was matched up against a girl named Lucy. Behind Ryan, Alex was coaching up Rahul, though the big man might not have been paying attention. All those Nurse Joys are pretty distracting.

Taking out his yellow-speckled blue-green Pokémon egg, Ryan presented it to the nearest Nurse Joy at a help desk and asked her which Pokémon was inside.

“Oh, wow, I’ve never seen a Pokémon egg like this before!” Joy sang sweetly. “Are you sure this is a Kanto Pokémon?”

“No, I don’t know what kind it is. That’s why I’m asking.”

“I wonder… how exactly did you get this egg?”

Ryan shifted uncomfortably on his feet. “Oh, well I beat another trainer, and that was what he bet to win the match.”

“I see.” She eyed him suspiciously.

“Hey, we’re losing focus on what’s really important here! I just wanna know what kind of Pokémon I’ve got inside this thing, okay?” Ryan said, holding up the egg.

Nurse Joy shrugged. “You can always wait until it hatches…”

Great idea. That’ll solve everything. “Thanks,” he said stiffly and returned to the group.

“How was she?” Rahul asked eagerly.

“Do you even know what I went to ask her, Rahul?”

“No.”

They were off to Indigo Stadium soon after, just as the sun was beginning to set in the distant sky. The roads were clogged with vendors selling cheap trinkets, and Ryan had half a mind to sell one of them his Pokémon egg. At one wooden stall, a red-haired child was selling baby Meowth, and Ryan bought two of them for his last 200 Poké Dollars. That’s just perfect, he thought, after sending the fresh Poké Balls to his parents’ house via his Pokédex. Now I’m truly broke. Why can’t I help myself?

Inside the stage, they met up with Rahul’s other friends (his family was not there) and everyone sat down to watch the big man try to fight his way into the top 4. Aside from Logan, Ryan, and Alex, an assortment of weird people Ryan had only heard of - one named Nashon and another named Nick, and others still who Ryan couldn’t even be bothered to learn the names of - were congregated.

Sitting down on the bench, Ryan asked Alex, “How good is his team, really? Is he good enough to win it all?”

“Probably,” replied the Chinese boy who was busy grinding away on his 3DS. “He could win it all, who knows. There’s always luck involved. I once got a museum in China to fix its fossil display that said alligator instead of saltwater crocodile.”

“Wew, I’ll tell ya, I’m tired,” Logan complained, nudging up against Ryan to sit on the edge of the bench. “All these matches to watch… it gets really hard for the spectators, like me,” he declared. “I need a vacation!”

“Yeah, yeah,” Ryan said, annoyed. “We’ll all go to Sevii if I win, I promise you that.”

“Woo!” Logan punched the air. “Remember I have your autograph, Ryan. A real vintage one, before you became a big star!”

“Here,” Ryan said, handing Logan his Pokémon egg. “If you’re so tired of all these Pokémon matches, why don’t you go find out what kind of Pokémon is in that egg.”

Logan looked at the little thing dubiously. “What do I win if I find out?”

“You don’t win anything.” Ryan pushed the other boy to his feet. “You just get to go do something else right now.”

“But…”

“Hurry up,” Ryan urged the other boy, sticking the egg in his hands. “Find out quick, and I’ll give you an extra special prize!”

“What kind of prize?”

“The kind that doesn’t exist. You’ll see.”

With that, Logan was off, to settle the terrible mystery that had befallen Ryan. The teal-haired boy turned back to Alex, for he had no one else to talk to. “Have you seen Kelly at all?”

“Nope.”

“I don’t think she’s left her room since she lost.”

“She had to. She has to get food after all. Right?” Alex still didn’t look up from his game.

“I suppose so.”

“Don’t worry about it, Ryan. She’ll get over it eventually.”

But what if she doesn’t?

The battle commenced between Rahul and Jhaqa, and it was really interesting. Ryan barely paid attention. About halfway through, as Rahul was trying to preserve a ridiculous Charizard sweep that had already resulted in the KO’ing of a Nidoking, a Pidgeot, and a Poliwrath, something interesting finally happened. Just at that moment, another person strode into Rahul’s visitor area - a boy Ryan recognized at once. Charlie. What’s he doing here?

“Sup,” the brown-haired boy said coolly, walking up to the bench. He took one look at the battle and then turned back to face the others.

“You again?” Alex’s voice was incredulous. “What are you doing here?”

“Just visiting you, whiny-face.” Charlie was wearing a nice fancy suit, and he began dabbing, screaming, “I won the debate, woo yeah!” Charlie pointed at one of Rahul’s friends - the one who wore all the sagging clothes and had peach-colored skin. “You’re the one I’m beating today.”

“Oh yeah?!” the guy got up and flexed his muscles and stared at the other boy from behind his sunglasses. It was really intimidating. “A punk kid like you couldn’t beat me at anything!”

“Only a Pokémon battle.”

“Why, yooouuuu!” the other guy shouted, taking a Poké Ball out of his pocket. He threw it, revealing a Magmar.

Charlie smirked and threw his own ball, which produced a shrimpy Bellsprout.

“Haha, are you serious?!”

“Fortnighticate, use Solar Beam.”

“Ember, Magmar!”

Charlie stepped back. His Bellsprout absorbed the sun and was covered in flames. For a moment, the other trainer let out a whoop of glee before noticing that Bellsprout didn’t seem to be damaged all that badly. This is ridiculous. Not only did that Bellsprout survive a fire attack, but it moved first… meaning it’s faster than a Magmar.

On the next turn, Charlie’s Fortnighticate went solar, shooting its viridian-tinged beam towards Magmar. The Fire Pokémon absorbed the attack confidently, and then fell over unconscious. Wow. It didn’t expect that puny Bellsprout to hurt it at all.

“I demand a rematch!” the other trainer complained. “That was outrageous!”

“Nah, save it!” Charlie said calmly, shaking his head. Then, he grabbed a wad of one Poké Dollar bills and started throwing them over the fainted Magmar. As he did this, the boy sang, “Broken hearts, make it rain! Broken hearts, make it rain! Broken hearts, make it raaaaaaaaiiiiiiiin!”

He threw like three hundred Poké Dollars on that unconscious Magmar. Ryan would have thought he had gone overboard, but the boy was too concerned with all that free money on the ground. I’m broke. I need that. So Ryan lunged forward, grabbing at the paper bills ravenously. Ahead, the crowd burst into cheers, and the referee cried:

“That’s it, folks! Rahul has beaten Jhaqa for a spot in the top 4! Truly wonderful stuff! My goodness, his Charizard is a monster!”

Rahul was twirling around, beaming and waving like the sheep he truly was. He had a hard time descending the ladder down to the floor, but once he did, everyone showered him in golden praise. Everyone except Ryan. Ryan was too busy crawling on the floor clutching at Poké Dollars, trying to capture all that Charlie had made rain.

This is the life, he thought. I’m in the top 4 of the Indigo League, and I have to crawl on the ground for a small bit of cash. Man, things have gone downhill.

Over with the group, Charlie said with a sharp smile, “You’re very good Rahul. I’m sure you’ll win the tournament.”

“Haha, thanks buddy!” Rahul said, slapping the fugitive on the back.

Everyone’s laughing. Everyone’s happy. Ryan wondered what Kelly would think of him and Rahul now. She had always teased them about being bumbling fools unable to win against decent competition. Well look at us now, Kelly. We’re both in the top 4, and at least one of us is gonna get a medal.

It’ll be me, Ryan thought. I didn’t come this far just to get screwed over by the big man again!

Whether it would be in the finals or the third place match, Ryan knew he would beat Rahul, should it come to that. Laugh now, Rahul. But you have no idea what I’m planning for you, Ryan thought sinisterly. Then he remembered that he had to pick up all the money, and quick (others were surely coming for the fine spoils), so he dove back at the ground and all that Charlie had thrown upon it.

Episode 38: Doctor Valor

The morning mist was still gracing the air when Rahul stepped up to the edge of the trainer platform, to face off against Julia. Their breaths frosted the air. The group crowded silently onto the cold metal benches, wrapped up in Gore-Tex jackets like hemoglobin. Joining them for the first time was Rahul’s mother, a woman who looked like she had come straight out of a portrait. She had told them that today and tomorrow had been the only two days she had been able to get off, and she wished to watch her son win the Indigo League and return home with her. There’s no sign of Charlie, Ryan noted coolly.

Across the stadium was Julia, the last person standing between Rahul and a spot in the finals. Her friends and family sat behind her on raised benches, as numerous and colorfully-dressed as Rahul’s own. The crowds were not so loud this early in the morning, but the stadium was still packed. This was the first of the semi-final matches.

After getting the old introductions out of the way, the referee cleared his throat, raised his flags, and shouted: “Ready… begin!”

Rahul’s Magneton was released from its ball; across the semi-frosted stadium, an Exeggutor appeared. Wow. Her Exeggutor looks really powerful. Maybe it’ll turn into a Dragon type one day… “Switch out,” Alex called out.

Rahul waved him away. “Yeah, yeah, I can get one move off, okay?”

The Magneton shot a Thunder at the Exeggutor, slamming it right on its pineapple head. The Exeggutor grunted, but didn’t look to be too damaged. And that was when Julia ordered her Coconut Pokémon to perform Sleep Powder. A moment later, Rahul’s Magneton fell to the ground, sound asleep (at least Ryan thought so – it’s hard to tell with floating magnets). Three Psychics followed, each one devastating the sleeping Magneton until it seemed like Julia was just being cruel. Not once during the onslaught did Magneton wake up.

After the third Psychic, the referee went to check on Rahul’s Electric Pokémon. “Magneton is unable to battle!” the referee declared, and the crowd showed its first signs of life, like how an ember would flare up if poked.

“Rahul, keep your head on straight! Listen to me!” Alex shouted, a little more than annoyed.

“Listen to your friend, he knows what’s good for you!” Mama Rahul agreed.

Rahul frowned, anger dripping down his face in sweat. “Alright, alright. I got it. Don’t worry. I’m the Doctor.”

His Charizard stood more equally against the Exeggutor. Now he’ll do it. He’ll take out Julia’s first Pokémon in a tournament match. Her Exeggutor won’t be able to stand the taste of dragonflame. The inevitable Fire Blast followed Charizard’s arrival, and the Exeggutor was cooked up real good. It probably had anywhere from 3-5% of its health left. One more.

“Exeggutor! Explosion!” Julia’s voice came distantly across the air. There was sadness in it, a knowingness that she was sacrificing her Pokémon. If it explodes, that means that no one’s still KO’d one of her Pokémon.

The white light was immediate, its heat absolute. It flamed out with tendrils and waves, and Charizard could not even begin to hope to dodge it. Rahul’s Charizard let out a scream, and when it was over, both Pokémon were lying on the ground, bruised and not moving. The referee raised both flags. Dang… that was Rahul’s favorite Pokémon. What’s he gonna do now? The crowd went nuts. They sensed weakness from Rahul, and strength from Julia. They were hungry sharks, ready for blood, scared of the monsters though they were.

Other trainers have won against worse odds.

“This time, choose Lapras, go!” Alex urged the big man, and for once, Rahul listened. To cheers and jeers, both trainers revealed their next Pokémon: a Lapras for Rahul, and a Jolteon for Julia. Ryan whistled. She really has great Pokémon. It’s no wonder she’s made it so far without losing any of them in a match!

The two exchanged a Thunderbolt and a Body Slam, and coming away from it, Jolteon looked to be by far the one in command. A second round followed, with Jolteon KO’ing Lapras with another quick Thunderbolt – Rahul’s Pokémon didn’t even get a chance to do a second attack. She’s unbelievable, Ryan thought, catching his breath. I’ve never seen anyone so good. She’s way out of our league… and pretty much everyone else’s in the tournament.

Next came Rahul’s Alakazam at the swift urging of Alex. “Psychic attack!” the big man yelled.

“Pin Missile, Jolteon!” Julia commanded from her spire, and off the two ran.

Jolteon is faster, Ryan noticed. When it ran up to the quick-moving Alakazam, the Jolteon flung five Pin Needles at the Alakazam, each hitting it, staggering it back. Alakazam cried out in pain. The crowd threw popcorn and drank it all in. Alakazam was not finished, though. It got to its feet and shot a jet of purple energy at the Jolteon, smacking the cheeky little spike-ball in the face. Jolteon screamed and ran back.

A cry of “Psychic!” and “Thunderbolt!” filled the Indigo Stadium. The Jolteon shot its attack at Alakazam, who looked quite beat-up now, and Alakazam tried to silence it with a second Psychic. Both attacks hit, doing moderate damage. Still, the Jolteon ran, though now it was sluggish and covered in dirt. It limped back over to its trainer, preparing one last go-around.

“What’s the deal, Alex?! Why didn’t that take out Jolteon?!” Rahul asked, perplexed.

“Bad luck,” the Chinese boy grunted. “It was already damaged, and Psychic does a lot of damage. Most of the time, I think two would have taken it down.”

It was already over; everyone knew it. Jolteon was faster. Alakazam could clearly not stand another hit. There was nothing Rahul could do, except watch with the others and bow his head as they cheered his Pokémon’s defeat. After a few moments, he raised his head and shouted, “Fine, so that’s how you want to play? Well, your luck’s run out! I’m the Doctor! So basically… run! This time it’s personal! I’m here to save the universe! And that starts with beating you!” He’s in rare form. I’ve never seen him act so dramatic.

His Rhydon emerged from its ball roaring, much to the crowd’s adoration. Seeing this huge beast, Julia grimaced and recalled her Jolteon. “Go, Starmie!” said the girl, and Ryan could feel Alex’s shudder from where he sat on the other side of the bench.

Rhydon had performed an Earthquake on the stage, hitting the switching-in Starmie hard. Suffice to say, when Starmie stood up, it looked to be about half damaged. But it’s still faster. Way, way faster. That was proven on the next turn when Starmie’s Blizzard attack froze Rhydon before it could try another Earthquake. Rhydon remained frozen in ice, unable to move as a second Blizzard joined the first. Upon the added weight of snow and piercing winds, the ice cracked and the Drill Pokémon fell from its cold prison, unconscious.

The crowd hooted and hollered, and chants of ‘Julia!’ ‘Julia!’ ‘Julia!’ tore through the stadium like wildfire. It’s over. “Alex… what do I do?!” Rahul shouted nervously down at his old friend.

Alex’s arms were crossed. He looked away and shook his head. “There’s nothing more we can do. You had a lot of bad luck in this match, Rahul…”

“Hyper Beam!” the big man bellowed, his last hope in this tournament riding on a single move.

Dragonair sprung from its ball, as slippery as a cave eel, and started charging at Starmie. But Starmie’s faster, Ryan knew. Speed is everything. A Blizzard awaited the Dragonair; so, it fell back screaming. When the snows cleared up and Starmie jumped back, the Dragonair shot a white beam of light at Starmie, hitting it right in the red jewel at the center of its being. Starmie slumped forward and fell over. The crowd’s energy exploded. Ryan got to his feet, shaking his fist.

“Alright, Rahul! You got one of her Pokémon!”

Rahul went to speak. The crowd suddenly fell to dead silence as Starmie got up. Incredible. She’s invincible! The boy shivered. Rahul stood there, his mouth agape (Ryan thought he saw a fly fly inside). The crowd was similarly on the edge of their seats as Julia issued one last command:

“Blizzard!” And so Starmie did as it was commanded, and so did Dragonair fall. The sixth and final green dot below Rahul’s portrait on the scoreboard vanished out of existence, and it was over.

The referee was saying something. They were throwing confetti, celebrating wildly for Julia. She had descended her trainer platform to embrace her friends and family. The pandemonium, the sheer gushing of emotion, was so overwhelming that Ryan had to look away.

On the other side of the Indigo Stadium, there was no happiness, no vibrancy, no clapping. Everyone stood there in stunned, awkward silence as Rahul descended from his platform and approached Alex on that chilly morning.

The Chinese boy shrugged. “You did the best you could. It was only luck.”

“Yeah, well… it’s okay, I guess,” Rahul said deflated. He looked to be in better spirits than most, despite everything. “I can still compete for the third place medal, right?”

Everyone swarmed him, trying to make him feel better. In the center of the eye of that chaotic human storm, Rahul’s mother was saying, “I’m so proud of you Rahul. You did so good in this tournament! You have brought honor to–”

Ryan swallowed, trying to slow his breathing. His cheeks were flushed; he felt a little dizzy. He counted to ten until his heartbeats aligned with his slow count. And then he looked up again and stepped into the storm. I’ll have to, just for a moment. And then it’s on to preparing for that Awabi guy.

And deep down, Ryan knew that he was far more likely to go out like Rahul than win the match. An opponent still hasn’t taken out one of Julia’s Pokémon. She’s going to win. I know she will. It doesn’t matter if I lose today or tomorrow… I’m losing one way or another.


He stayed out as long as he could, training until about 4 pm. Then, running back to the Indigo Plateau, he had Nurse Joy and her legion of Chansey heal up his Pokémon. There was nothing else to do but wait and strategize until the match began at 7 pm. Spectre’s good against Vaporeon. Raticate and Butterfree will fall to Aegon. He had watched all of Awabi’s matches last night, until he was sure he knew how the other boy would fight. He’s aggressive and smart. He knows about TMs. He knows how to counter every type of Pokémon. Ryan swallowed, leaning forward in his seat. A Chansey glided past him, mopping up the floors. He was alone now – alone with his thoughts.

Shivering, Ryan thought what he would do if he lost. I guess just go home and return to school. The prospect of that didn’t sound too good to Ryan. I could always try to win again next year, but he knew the others probably wouldn’t want to go through the Indigo League again, especially Kelly. Let’s go on another adventure together. That’s what she said. I wonder if she still feels that way. He knew this was likely to be as far as he got in any Indigo League tournament, no matter where he ended up. I’m the fourth-best trainer, at a minimum. That wasn’t so bad, right?

He exhaled violently and wondered if Rahul would show.

Around 6:45 pm, Joy returned to the front desk to tell the boy that his Pokémon were ready. He grabbed the six balls, thanked her, and ran out of there, towards the Indigo Stadium in the distance. Arriving out of breath, he was ushered into the stage by a few guards. He passed under the stadium for a while until he came to the end of it, where the regular group of people awaited him. Not many of them, he observed, counting five. But they all matter to me.

He came to them, noticing Rahul amongst the pack. The boy was no doubt crestfallen about his own loss, but he hadn’t pulled a Kelly. He’s not all that bad. Ryan passed his dad, who nodded curtly. Ryan returned the nod gratefully; he found his mother’s arms, shook Logan’s and Alex’s and Rahul’s hands, and tried to steady his breathing. When the referee called for him, Ryan scampered out into the evening’s light, where he could no longer focus on that cold choking feeling in his throat.

The sky was indigo, streaked with blood. There, on the far side, on his own platform, stood the Sundance Child – Awabi. He was pale as a ghost, tall as an adult, and looked wispy and frail enough to be carried off by a gust of wind. I won’t underestimate him. There were thousands in attendance; the stadium looked more crammed together with people than ever before. Overhead, a Fearow was flying off towards the setting sun. A chill wind blew.

Picking up his first Poké Ball, Ryan waited for the referee to introduce them, blow his whistle, and raise his flags; and then he threw it. Awabi’s ball was in the air too. They both landed, revealing, on one end, a Charizard, and on the other, a Vaporeon. Ryan swallowed, popping his ears. They’re cheering too loud, he thought miserably.

“Earthquake, Aegon!” Ryan commanded.

“Recall Charizard!” Alex shouted from below, but Ryan ignored him. Aegon can survive one water attack.

It was Surf, just like it always was. The Earthquake rumbled beneath the ground, thrusting the Vaporeon into the air. The Bubble Jet Pokémon flew and landed hard. The Vaporeon groaned and struggled to stand, even as the crowd cheered for it to. Really? They’re all fans of Awabi? Finally, the beast stumbled to its shaking feet and mounted its wave again. When it crashed against Aegon, the mighty Charizard bellowed in pain and collapsed.

The crowd cheered; the referee raised his red flag, and Ryan was down a Pokémon. “Hey, don’t ignore me like Rahul did!” Alex shouted from below. “If you want to win this battle, don’t be afraid to switch your Pokémon!”

“Alright, alright,” Ryan said hastily, shaking his head. “Spectre, it’s your turn!”

Awabi the Sundance Child bent over the railing, hacking and coughing with unbridled glee. He laughed and laughed and laughed a little more. I’m surprised he wasn’t called Laughing Boy instead. After several moments of hysterics over some queer joke Ryan hadn’t heard, the boos started to ring out, and Awabi had to recall his Vaporeon, lest he lose the crowd (his one true love). The Pokémon he thence revealed was a Hypno. Spectre’s attack – a Thunderbolt – was already sailing through the air. It washed over the Hypno, sending it flying back, but not doing tremendous damage.

“Switch!” Alex called.

“Myrrah, go for it!”

The Psychic Hypno had sent at Spectre now hit Myrrah, doing significant damage. The Cloyster flew back, skidding in the dirt. The onlookers were throwing food in their revelry, so happy were they to see another battle started. Ryan did his best to ignore them. “Psychic!” Awabi uttered shrilly, and his Hypno thrust itself forward, hitting Cloyster again with a powerful burst of psychic energy. Cloyster looked to be nearly done from that, collapsing forward onto the ground.

“It’s faster!” Alex told him. “The Hypno’s a higher level than your Cloyster! You have to use Explosion.”

“Right. Myrrah!” Ryan shouted. “Blow that stupid elephant-faced butter-boy up! Do it! Do it now!”

“Cloyster!” She soared into the air, humming with energy, flinging her entire shell at Hypno. Hypno caught her, holding Myrrah between its hands, not sure what was going on. Another shout of, “Cloyster!” was followed by a sudden and massive explosion. A spire of rock and stage-material flew up in the air. Something screamed horribly. The crowd gasped. Ryan strained his eyes. He saw Myrrah’s shell rolling down the stage from the explosion site, but there was no sign of Hypno.

“Cloyster is unable to battle!” The referee raised a second red flag. Come on, Hypno’s gotta be done too. Ryan looked up at the scoreboard and saw how small his four dots looked next to Awabi’s six.

“Tauros next,” Alex was saying. “In case Hypno’s not–”

A burst of energy came forth from the cloud then. The dust cleared and the smoke faded, and there was Hypno – he was quite damaged, but not knocked out. The referee would not raise his flag again. Well that’s just great.

“NaVorro, I’m counting on you!” The Bull Pokémon flew from his ball and landed on the stage, not far from the nearly-fried Hypno. “Body Slam it, boy!”

“Psychic!” Awabi the Sundance Child cried like a Mayan Priest at sacrifice.

NaVorro made short work of the Hypno. He was faster. He tore through that Psychic Pokémon with a monstrous Body Slam, sending Hypno flying into his trainer’s raised platform. It did not take the referee long to declare the Pokémon unable to battle.

“That’s your first mistake!” Awabi cried, reaching for another Poké Ball. “And it won’t be your last!”

Ryan went to retort something real sassy when he saw that Awabi’s next Pokémon was a Tauros too. “Earthquake, buddy!”

“Earthquake!” Awabi shouted in response.

The Sundance Child’s Pokémon moved first, rocking Ryan’s side of the stage violently and making NaVorro howl. He must be a higher level than NaVorro, Ryan realized glumly. That’s it. I’ve lost. He told NaVorro to do a Blizzard, but Awabi was listening. His Tauros always did the same move first – a Blizzard and then another Earthquake. And then, finally, the two Tauros charged down one another with Hyper Beams flaring up in their mouths. Hyper Beam isn’t 100% accurate. My only hope… he thought as the other Tauros’s attack sailed through the air, just a fraction of a second before NaVorro’s would have been ready. The beam took Ryan’s bull in the neck, sending him to the ground. A third dot vanished from the scoreboard above.

Ryan grasped his next Poké Ball. Come on girl. I need you now. “Go, Thurnax!”

The crowds swooned as Ryan’s majestic Dragonite soared out into the crisp evening air. The referee was shouting, “There it is, a Dragonite! Wow, what a show it’s putting on!” Ryan bit his lip, knowing what he had to do. This won’t be easy, but it’s the only way.

“Blizzard!” Awabi commanded his Pokémon.

“Agility, Thurnax!” Ryan said.

The Blizzard whirlwind hit the Dragonite first, doing a tremendous amount of damage like Ryan knew it would. Double weakness to ice, but she’s still standing. That’s a good sign. After weathering the opening Blizzard, Thurnax took to the skies to build up her speed. Speed is everything. She had taken a significant hit from that Blizzard – enough to take out half of her stamina at least, he knew. She could survive maybe one more non-ice attack. Tauros is extremely weak. One attack is all it’ll take. He just hoped that Vaporeon Awabi was holding back didn’t have Blizzard either.

After she had built up her speed, Thurnax rode a wave of water over to the Tauros. Now that she was faster, there was nothing to fear, and the weary beast could not dodge the attack. It collapsed under the churning, foaming spray bursting through the stage, and Awabi was forced to recall the beast.

Ryan sighed. Okay, as long as I can go on a little run with Thurnax, I could be okay. He only has one more Pokémon than me. That was when Starmie appeared.

“Are you kidding me?!” Alex shouted. “You guys have had such bad luck!”

“Is it faster?” Ryan asked the boy. There was fear in his voice.

“No. But it definitely has Blizzard. You only have one move to use.”

“Hyper Beam, Thurnax!” Ryan shouted desperately. “Please, come on, put everything you got into that Hyper Beam!”

“Neiahahahahaaaaaaa!” Thurnax roared resolutely.

“Lay another Blizzard on that beast, Starmie,” Awabi said softly. He was stroking his own platinum blond hair, which was long and blended in with his skin. He wore dark sunglasses, even though it was nearly dark out. He looked so preoccupied with cleaning his fingernails, too. At the base of Awabi’s trainer platform, an old man who looked eerily like the guy who had given Ryan that golden chicken bone in Saffron City stood wearing a white suit, a black top hat, and feminine, sparkling glasses. Leaning on a cherrywood cane, he smiled and raised a deep fried chicken leg into the air like a banner before taking a savage bite out of it.

Ryan had seen his Pokémon perform a hundred Hyper Beams. This time was no different. Thurnax soared about for a bit charging it up, and then flew down her prey before unleashing the energy. Worryingly, it didn’t look like her Hyper Beam was any more powerful than it had been before.

Upon impact, Starmie was blown back, getting knocked off its feet like a hobo at a train station. And yet, in the next moment, it stood. “No!!” Ryan cried in dismay.

His Dragonite crashed to the ground, covered in horrible frost, before the boy could even soak in what had just happened.

“Gengar!” Alex’s voice was urgent. “If things go right… you have a chance… depending on what he has left.”

The boy closed his eyes and took a deep breath, pushing back the heat that was behind his eyes and welling up in his throat. “Spectre, I choose you!” he shouted, his voice breaking. “Thunderbolt, now!”

“Thunder Wave!” Ryan’s opponent shouted wildly.

Gengar was super fast, even faster than the Starmie. Spectre bounced about the cracked, worn stage before landing behind the Starmie. Doing a cartwheel over it, the Gengar playfully tossed a surge of electrical energy at his foe. The yellow chains wrapped around the Water Pokémon, squeezing and squeezing until they exploded and sent the Starmie flying to the far end of the stage. When it landed, it did not get up.

A green flag was raised; a red dot faded. “Raticate, it’s your turn!” Awabi said lazily. “Teach this New York bozo a thing or two about our Pasty Platoon!”

“I’m not from New York, I’m from Acapulco!” Ryan replied.

“Whatever. You’re losing this match, so what does it matter?!”

Ryan didn’t know what game Awabi was playing. Raticate was a Normal Pokémon with normal moves – Spectre was immune to almost everything that rat-faced cretin had to offer – except that rodent’s Blizzard. Man, screw that guy for using TMs too. It’s no fair, man! Even so, Blizzard did pitiful damage coming from that beast, and two Thunderbolts and a Mega Drain silenced it. For the first time in a long time, the two trainers were even in Pokémon again.

Next came the Sundance Child’s favorite Pokémon – Butterfree. Yeah, I know what you’re thinking: his favorite is his Vaporeon. But that’s way off. There’s no way it’s true. It’s just an urban legend the twins of Jessie and James like to spread around in Viridian City. Too bad Butterfree’s a terrible Pokémon. Every Pokémon Ryan had must’ve had a super effective move against it. As luck would have it, Ryan’s Gengar had such a move too.

“Thunderbolt!”

“Sleep Powder!” came Awabi’s voice.

Spectre was faster. He hit that floating butterfly hard with some straight up Zeus moves. And when ol’ Butterfree tried to spin around and spread Sleep Powder everywhere, Gengar was gone (daddy) again, flying like a banshee from the hills that don’t have eyes. The attack missed, and all it took was one more Thunderbolt to down Awabi’s fifth Pokémon.

“And with that, folks… Ryan from Acapulco has taken the lead!” the referee bellowed to the approval of the crowd. Ryan felt nothing. He steeled himself and prepared for the Vaporeon he knew was coming. I haven’t won yet. Nothing is certain.

Out popped Ryan’s least favorite of the three eeveelutions. It paced and eyed Gengar with uncertainty. It’s a Water Pokémon. I have just the moves for Water Pokémon!

“Thunderbolt!” he bellowed.

Awabi’s voice mixed with Ryan’s in its shrillness. “Surf!”

“Mega Drain!” came Ryan’s next command.

“Surf!”

“Thunderbolt!”

“Surf!”

The two went on like that, shouting order after order at their Pokémon as the two exchanged jets of water and bolts of lightning. They didn’t do much damage to one another, but Gengar was faster. It just so happened that he got an extra move. Even though Raticate had damaged him, Gengar stood up to Vaporeon’s Surfs. He took damage, aye, but not enough damage. And in the end, he had Thunderbolt, which is bound to hit a crit every now and then.

Vaporeon went up in yellow electrical energy, strobing the stadium for several moments as the last, most powerful Thunderbolt hit it. When the attack was finished, smoke drifted up from the scales of the Bubble Jet Pokémon. It muttered a, “Va… poreon…” and staggered forward, trying to conjure up another Surf attack, even as Awabi was flipping out from above (he did not want to lose, it appeared). Vaporeon spit a bit of water from its mouth and collapsed.

“Nay, this cruel world, from whence I came! Now I’m going to be a hermit in the far north!” Awabi the Sundance Child weeped loudly, after falling to his knees. He raised his fists to the sky, cartwheeled off his trainer platform, and raced into the blackness beyond, leaving his poor Uncle Colonel Sanders behind to wallow in self-hate. Ryan would never see that weird kid again.

“Return, Spectre,” Ryan said confidently over the rush of cheering voices and general jubilation. The referee was going on and on about Ryan’s improbable victory, his skill, and his command over his Pokémon. They were cheering his name as this happened, and Ryan felt goosebumps cascade across his exposed flesh.

This is a dream, he thought. This isn’t real. This isn’t happening. I couldn’t have done that… I can’t be in the finals of the Indigo League… His cheeks felt warm as he descended the trainer platform in silence.

Then, like a train, he was hit by Logan, who bounded into the boy and hugged him madly. “I knew it! I knew you’d do it! Whoo yeah, you’re in the finals! I have his first signature everyone! I’m gonna be rich!”

“Nice work,” Alex grunted, eating his noodles and not slurping even one of them, good boy. “That got pretty scary there near the end.”

“Yeah, but we did it!” Ryan said eagerly. “Thanks man, I couldn’t have done it without you.”

Fire was rising in his veins. His chest felt light. Rahul gave him one of those legit bro hugs like a bigtime fancypants. His mother’s tittering voice was in his ear, breathless and exuberant. And there was Ryan’s father, the lonely mountain, his arms folded, his face narrowed, studying Ryan. I didn’t use him, the boy thought as his eyes crossed with his dad’s. I didn’t want to get you mad. But tomorrow…

He knew he would need Alakazam tomorrow. But that was a problem for another day.

Instead of festering in soon-to-be despair, Ryan turned back around, to his friends and family and felt happy. It wasn’t the best feeling in the world. Kelly’s not here. But, for the teal-haired boy who had improbably set out on a journey almost a year ago to join the Indigo League and now found himself in the finals of the entire tournament, the feeling was still pretty good.

Maybe a little better than good.


It was dark out, and all the bugs were making music of the night. Ryan and Alakazam were sitting up against rocks, a lantern at their feet. A waterfall rushed to their left, flowing into a deep and blue pool below. That was where they had caught a Dewgong not an hour before. He hadn’t gone out to dinner with everyone else, no matter how much he appreciated their support during his tournament battles. I need to train.

And so he had been training. His Pokémon were woefully underleveled, in his mind. Awabi had had stronger Pokémon. His Tauros was stronger than mine. What if Julia’s Pokémon are too? He wanted to give himself as much a chance to win as he could. And so here he was, sacrificing happiness and rest to make sure everyone was ready for tomorrow’s big match.

Alakazam looked rather glum, so Ryan said, “Aw, cheer up buddy. It’s okay, I’ll let you be in the next match, I promise.”

“Azam.” The Psi Pokémon slumped up against the rock indolently. “Zam zam zam.”

“Yeah, yeah, I know. But I had to give everyone else a try to, you know?” Ryan said, trying to defend himself. “Besides, I thought that you needed a break! You’ve already won two matches for me by yourself!”

“Zam.” The Alakazam crossed his arms. Well there’s one thing that’s different about him. He’s not so playful anymore.

Ryan let out a long, uninterrupted breath that silenced the bugs around them for a good thirty seconds. “I know how hard you worked for my dad and me to win this thing.” His voice was soft as new fallen snow. “But my other Pokémon have worked hard too. They all deserve a shot at glory. We’re all in this together, you know? No use getting mad. We won!” he smiled, a feeling of warmness spreading across his skin.

“Zam,” Alakazam yawned.

“Yeah, I know, buddy.” Ryan chewed on his tongue while his head drifted up into the sky to peer at the ancient light of far-distant stars raining down upon them. In the distance, he saw a pink dot, as small as a drop of blood, flickering around in front of the near full moon. Shivering, he thought, that couldn’t be…

In front of the boy, a dark-robed woman appeared. She wore jewels on her face, over her silken mask of gold and ivory. Her eyes shone a piercing – almost unworldly – viridian color in the darkness. “Ryan Morgan,” she whispered. Her voice sounded like leaves blowing through the wind, as faint as an Abra’s footsteps. “Look to the skies. Do not forget who you are.”

“What are you talking about?” Ryan said, trying to stand up. “What do you mean?”

“All things know,” the Oracle said solemnly. “Do not forget who you are.”

He reached out for her and watched her dissolve into smoke to be carried off by a midnight breath of air, spilling out like stardust into the expansive night’s sky overhead. Ryan went to speak, bit his lip, and sat back down. He looked over at Alakazam, who was snoring. We need to get back to work, but I guess we can take a break, he thought, sitting back against the rock himself.

Shivering, he looked to the skies, tracing his way through the constellations until he found one that looked like an Abra. At that, Ryan got excited and poked Alakazam in the shoulder to tell him the good news.

“Alakazam,” Alakazam said with indignation upon hearing what Ryan had wakened him for. “Zam zam…”

“… thank you ma’am!” Ryan said, finishing the sentence eagerly. He didn’t detect the tiredness in Alakazam’s voice, nor the patient irritation of his most noble friend. Instead, Ryan said carelessly, “I wonder why that dream lady told me to look to the skies. Why is she following me around just to help me discover the Abra constellation?”

The wind howled. The bugs wrote splendid homophonic tunes, and Alakazam sat snoring. The chill was out there, Ryan knew, hovering in the deep sky, a chill of winter, of the night. After a few more moments watching the stars, Ryan stood up, patted his Alakazam into consciousness, and they were back off again into the forest to search for more wild Pokémon to battle. Though they were both yawning now, more ready for sleep than they had ever been, they knew they could not stop. Ryan’s other Pokémon were soon released from their Poké Balls – so it was: the group of six followed their master deeper into the forest, followed him into the dark, and followed him to the promise of everlasting glory should they win tomorrow.

Episode 39: Blue

At sunrise, Ryan awoke to the sound of an egg cracking. It was mounted on a plush magenta pillow on a blanket on top of the dresser, nudged up against the window, from which the morning’s rays were spilling out, yellow and brittle. The aqua egg with the cream-colored splotches was cracked down the center, and fissures of new fault lines were spreading like an earthquake. Before Ryan could shout for Alakazam to get the camera, the egg exploded, and there hunched a light blue Pokémon, as small as a beached eel. Yawning, Ryan grabbed for his Pokédex on the side table and said:

“Yo, Dex. Tell me all about this new guy!” He pointed the device at the freshly-hatched Pokémon.

“There is no information…” the Pokédex said plainly. “No Pokémon in range.”

“No, there is,” Ryan insisted. “Open your eyes, you robotic dummy!”

“Sorry master, but there is no species of Pokémon native to Kanto in range.”

“Huh? Trash!” he said carelessly, flinging the Pokédex across the room daintily. So either it’s not a Pokémon, or it’s from a different region…

“Logan, get up, it hatched!” Ryan declared very formally. He only said it the once, enough to wake up Logan, but he was not too overbearing, and indeed, by the time the other boy rolled out of his cot, Logan had forgot why they were awake at this hour of this here yonder morn.

A few moments later, Logan came sidling over. “What is it?” he said softly.

“I don’t know, some kind of frog thing,” Ryan replied, holding up his new Pokémon meekly in his hands. Indeed, it looked like a frog – it was blue and small and had large eyes. It wore a cape-scarf of bubbles, it appeared, and it looked exceptionally regal for a being of its age.

“Oh, that’s the Frogface Special!” Logan said, his eyes widening in remembrance. “I learned his name yesterday like you wanted me to, I forgot to tell you! Clefairy fairy fairy fairy Clef fairy!”

Ryan was rubbing the dust from his eyes, sitting on the end of his bed. He sounded exhausted. “I thought you only spoke Clefable.”

“I can speak Clefairy too. You know, they all go together… the Clefable and the Clefairy. Clefairy evolves into Clefable, and…”

“Yeah, I know,” Ryan sighed. “Alright, that’s enough. I have to go train my Pokémon some more.”

“But aren’t you going to get breakfast?”

“Froooooaa?!” the baby frog Pokémon chirped.

“Fro?” Ryan repeated, confused.

“Fro,” Logan agreed.

“Froaaaah!!” the beast shrieked again, like a banshee on helium.

“Alright alright, we get it!” Ryan shouted, his hands over his ears. “Fro… dobo? Frodo dobo?” He asked the baby Pokémon. “Are you the big mercedes dobo, Frodo too?”

“Frooaah!!” it screeched again before falling over on the fancy magenta pillow, sound asleep. It snored quite loudly. I wonder if it’s really the fabled Frodo dobo Pokémon monster. That’d be sweet if it was. But Ryan couldn’t think about that right now. The most important Pokémon match of his life was going to happen today, and he had to make sure he was fully prepared for it. “So, uh,” he said, looking over to Logan again, “yeah, I’ll be out training with my Pokémon.”

“Later.”

Logan shrugged and waved Ryan away. “Alright, see ya.”

With that Logan jumped into the bed, even as Ryan was pulling on his shoes. Wow, he has no respect. This is an outrage. I can’t believe that jive turkey would do such a thing. Rahul would never suffer Alex being so insubordinate. But he didn’t say anything because he didn’t want to start conflict. Not on this day. Ryan was too overcome with anxiety to care about petty interactions and social etiquette. Julia was speaking to a swarm of reporters, and Ryan made sure to not get too close to them, lest they recognize him. I don’t want to have to answer all their stupid questions.

He was out there all morning, until all of his Pokémon had used up multiple potions and were too tired to go on. They need the Pokémon Center. I wonder if I can go out and train with them again after they’re healed up, or if there won’t be enough time until the fight… He was mid-thought, his six Pokémon limping behind him, when Ryan came around a corner and discovered Julia, with all six of her own Pokémon. A silence fell. The morning chill-winds were rising.

“Oh,” she said, her face flushed pink, though Ryan suspected that was from the cold. “I didn’t expect to find you here, Ryan.”

She had a Rhydon and an Exeggutor and a Jolteon and a Starmie and a Ninetails and a Tauros. He had never seen half of these Pokémon before, but now that he had, Ryan found them to be monstrously gargantuan and quite mean. They looked agile and tenacious and supremely confident. His own tired lot paled in comparison.

“Training before the battle, huh?” he observed.

“I see you are as well.”

Ryan nodded. “Nice Pokémon.”

“Thanks!” He couldn’t tell if she was blushing. “Yours aren’t so bad either. I’m sure we’re going to have a great battle this evening. What do you think, should we put on a show for everyone?”

“Uh, sure. Whatever you say. I just wanna win, really.”

“Do you know how many of my Pokémon have been knocked out by opponents?” There was a nagging, whiny sound in her voice.

Everyone does. “Zero,” Ryan said smartly, “but I think by the time this thing’s over, your new number will be six.”

She laughed for two heartbeats and turned her back to Ryan. “Well, I’ll see you tonight, Ryan. Good luck with the training.”

It was a short run to the nearest Pokémon Center. Not many people were out. Ryan ordered a cold sandwitch and tried to warm himself up by the heater. The televisions around were buzzing with the Indigo League news program documenting the lives of both Julia and Ryan; Ryan already knew about this, for he had given the local news station some information about himself a few days ago… and there would also be some stuff about whatever his friends and family had told the reporters. I was never going to watch it. It’s so dumb. I don’t want to watch that jive nonsense!

But watch it he did, because Ryan was cold and bored and there was nowhere else to sit. He learned that Julia had been an orphan, raised by a rich foster family who had sent her to Poké Tech as a young girl. She had passed that school’s final exam four years ago, earning her a place in the Indigo League, but had decided to also go from gym to gym collecting all eight badges. She had collected badges every year since. Of course, the news people also brought up the fact that in all seven of her matches this year, an opponent had not yet managed to KO a single one of Julia’s Pokémon. She swept the first five matches, and worked some magic against Rahul and her other full team opponent to not lose anyone. She’ll have to try real hard against me. I’ll put up the biggest fight of all. I’m not going down without giving it everything I got.

Ryan stayed there, half-paying attention to the reporters on TV, and half-thinking about what his strategy would be in the upcoming match. He knew he would have to make some predictions with moves – Julia would surely do a lot of switching now that the rules allowed her to. She wouldn’t leave a Pokémon in if it was in a bad matchup. I have to be like that too. I have to know when to switch, and make her pay for switching.

He heard on the television that Rahul had lost in the third round match earlier that day to Awabi the Sundance child (Arceus bless his poor lil heart), 6-3. Apparently the Charizard sweep hadn’t worked against that pale fool. I guess it shows how much better I am than Rahul, too. I beat Awabi 6-4. He beat Rahul 6-3. That means I’m way better than Rahul. I should have a better chance against Julia than him… or anyone else, for that matter…

He was there for another hour and a half until Nurse Joy dinged him for his Pokémon. It was only 1 pm. That was good – he still had time. It was strange though, Ryan thought as he ran out of the Pokémon Center, that he hadn’t seen Julia bring her Pokémon in. She’s still out there. I bet she’s using potions. Her family’s rich, so I bet she has a lot of them. Ryan was as poor as a Sunday Pidgey. He had only a few potions left, and he didn’t want to use them all up just training, because those were reserved for emergencies… and they were very expensive. There was no replacing them, at least not in the near future.

Even so, Ryan once again released his six Pokémon and began working all of them simultaneosly against the wild Pokémon around the Indigo League Plateau village. It was around 5 pm when they were all too worn out to go on. Ryan returned them to their Poké Balls, checked his watch, grimaced in shock (how time flies, indeed), and sprinted all the way back to the Pokémon Center. Julia wasn’t there, as he expected.

“Nurse Joy, Nurse Joy, I got a quick one for ya!” he panted, spilling his Poké Balls onto the counter. The pink-haired nurse gasped in suprise and reached for them as they spilled over the counter towards her, catching them in her arms as if she were holding two or three more limes than she optimally could. “Please, I need these guys healed up all the way before the match starts at 7! Please hurry!”

Nurse Joy’s surprise turned to determination. “Hmph! You got it, contestant Ryan!” she said pedantically. “Your Pokémon will be ready in one hour!” She’s the most beautiful Joy of all.

And so they were; Ryan had never seen a batch of Pokébuddies get healed so fast, it brought a tear to his eye. Once he had his Pokémon back, he rushed home. He was only ambushed five times by reporters, and he only gave seven interviews. Once he was done, he headed up to his room, locked the door, and opened the curtains to the great window that looked out over the rest of the village. He had maybe thirty minutes.

Alakazam materialized at Ryan’s side. “Hey buddy. You’re a genius now, so tell me what to do,” the boy said melancholically. “Do you think we have a chance?”

“Zam.”

“That sounded pretty pessimistic, Alakazam.”

“Alakazam, alakazam!” Alakazam exclaimed.

Ryan put his hands on his knees, leaning forward. The sky outside was a deep blue, with a hint of indigo night creeping in on the edge of sight. It was colder out in the sky, with stark white clouds stretched out across the endless blue. Ryan wondered whether Kelly would show. Everyone else is already there, waiting for me. I’m sure Julia’s probably doing about ten interview inside the stadium. He exhaled forcefully and tried to clear his mind, but it was no good. He watched wild Pidgey and Spearow spin through the sky in arrowhead formations. The Spearow groups were a little larger and a little wider; Pidgey arrowheads were thinner, sleeker, faster, more uncommon. He wondered why that was. Ryan reached for Alakazam’s Poké Ball. His hand was shaking. He wiped the sweat from his palms and downed a glass of water nervously. He tried to clear his mind, but found nothing behind his eyes left to wipe away.

This is the biggest moment of my life. And as he sat there worrying, in his last moments of freedom, Ryan turned to his oldest buddy, the Pokémon with whom he had started this journey. There was Alakazam leaning up against the bed sound asleep, a piece of cracked egg on his shoulder.

I don’t know if I envy him or pity him.


The referee was balancing on a giant red-and-white striped ball, a cane in his hand, a top hat upon his head. “And on this side, we have Ryan… from Acapulco!” the man bellowed, nearly slipping off his ball. The whole endeavor was so needlessly dangerous. “He’s a wonderful trainer with wonderful Pokémon!”

He sounds like mom, Ryan thought, glancing back at his friends and family sitting at the bench behind him. She couldn’t get over my Dragonite. Dad didn’t have anything to say about that. He stole another glance at them. Alex was buried in his 3DS; Rahul was chilling and sipping Skittle-flavored orange juice shots; Logan was holding Frodo dobo and giving Ryan a thumb’s up. When the teal-haired boy noticed Logan, he thought he saw a Clefairy at the other boy’s feet, but when he blinked, it vanished.

No Kelly, he thought glumly. She didn’t show after all.

“And Julia, oh me, oh my! I once had a Magikarp named Julia, she would play a little game with meeeeee…!” the referee trailed off, slipping off his ball and landing hard on the edge of the stage. At once, a mad siren started blaring and a couple of Chansey came running out with a stretcher. In the blink of an eye, they were running off again, the unconscious referee in tow.

“Apologies everyone for that wanton display,” an old man said pleasantly over the loudspeakers. “Anyways, let’s start the show!” The crowd screamed with energy. “Contestants Julia and Ryan, take your marks!” Ryan drew his Poké Ball. Please start us off good, Spectre. “3… 2… 1… begin!” the old man from the loudspeakers bellowed.

This is it. Ryan took a deep breath. Spectre burst out of his ball to face Julia’s Ninetails. Her Ninetails already? But isn’t that her best Pokémon? “Hypnosis, Spectre!” he shouted as loud as he could over the incessant thrumming of the crowd. It’s just a Pokémon battle, he thought, annoyed. Why are they acting like this is the end of the world?

“Confuse Ray!” Julia ordered her Pokémon. She looked pretty – her blonde hair was done up, and she wore a sparkling red dress and high heels. Behind her, her bench was packed with well-dressed men and women. She has more friends than me.

Spectre was faster – he was a veritable wind demon, unlike anything seen in the Indigo League yet. He drifted up to the Ninetails, who was preparing its Confuse Ray, grinned, and plucked out his favorite pendulum swinging thing he used for Hypnosis. I wonder which pocket he was keeping that in. After that, it was just a probability game. Sleep moves were notoriously inaccurate. Sometimes Spectre would lose his pendulum or try to put the sky to sleep. It was really weird how bad he was at aiming the sleep attack. But this time, his aim was true, and he hit the Ninetails immediately with his sleep rays. The Fox Pokémon yawned loudly before collapsing onto the ground.

“Yes!” Ryan punched the sky. “Great work, Spectre! Return!”

He recalled his Gengar quickly and readied another ball. Gotta go on the offensive now. “Aegon, it’s your turn!”

His Charizard spun from his Poké Ball like a fire cyclone, landing in front of the sleeping Ninetails with great spirit. On the other side of the stage, Julia similarly took the hint. She recalled her Ninetails and brought out her Exeggutor. That palm tree beat Rahul’s Charizard 1v1. I gotta be careful.

“Fire Blast, Aegon!”

“Sleep Powder!” Julia called.

The crowd inhaled. Ryan blinked. Aegon’s swirling flames went sailing past Exeggutor, burning up in the air just to the right of his foe. The Sleep Powder drifted across the air, landing on Aegon’s face. The Charizard collapsed, asleep, much to the amusement of the crowd. Okay, I see how it is. He’d poked Julia, made her mad. And she poked me back. Well, he’d play the game just as she had with her Ninetails.

“Aegon, return!”

“Thurnax time,” Alex shouted from behind. “Agility first!”

“Right,” Ryan breathed. “Okay, Thurnax, go!”

They did the usual fawning over his Dragonite. The boy was too nervous to care. The orange Dragon Pokémon was indeed a rare sight – but even rarer was one who ran the setup that Ryan’s did. If this works, he thought, they’ll see something they’ve never see before. “Agility!” he commanded her.

Thurnax barked in response and was hit by the incoming Psychic from Exeggutor. She weathed the attack decently. Ryan thought she could take another hit or two from a non-ice move. She built up her speed as she had done before, soaring around the stadium, making the crowd fall in love with her. As this was going on, Ryan realized that Julia had recalled her Exeggutor and brought out Jolteon. She’s switching Pokémon way more than I thought she would… He had never fought against such an opponent. This was different, but not in a bad way.

“With Agility, Thurnax should be faster!” Alex noted. “Wrap!”

“You heard him, Thurnax!” Ryan shouted. “Wrap up that Jolteon!”

And so Thurnax did as she was commanded. I hope Derceyes is in the crowd, or at least watching this at home, Ryan thought as he watched his Dragonite Wrap the opposing Jolteon once, and then twice, and then three times. Each time she wrapped up the Jolteon, Jolteon struggled and eventually broke free, but there was no time for it to try to attack – the Lightning Pokémon was not fast enough. It couldn’t get away. Thurnax must’ve wrapped it a dozen times (those Wraps kept continuing and continuing) before Julia recalled the Pokémon that had felled Alabaster Jene’s own Dragonite. Jolteon escaped, if only just. It probably had around 15% health left. I was so close. Ryan bit his lip. I nearly KO’d her first Pokémon…

Then came Exeggutor again, the old pineapple head. The spectators loved it; they threw food and whooped in delight seeing Julia’s worst Pokémon again. It was great. It absorbed the Surf attack that Thurnax had sent to end Jolteon. That meager water attack did very little damage to Exeggutor.

Fine, so that’s how she wants to be. I’ll Wrap-trap this one instead. “Wrap that bad boy up!” Ryan ordered Thurnax.

“Heeeieieaiaaah!” Thurnax agreed.

The female dragon shot forward with incredible speed. With Agility, she’s even faster than Spectre, Ryan noted. Jeez… she’s insane! Thurnax came to the dumb-looking Exeggutor and wrapped her tail around it, squeezing and squeezing.

“Explosion!” Julia shouted. She’s playing really aggressive, wow.

“Don’t let it, Thurnax!” Ryan ordered. “Keep wrapping it up!”

And so Thurnax did. She never missed a Wrap, never let up, and each Wrap continued on for several turns, stalling out Exeggutor and its ability to attack back. Every time Exeggutor broke free from a Wrap, the Dragonite shot forward and continued her assault. It was only when Exeggutor looked really beat up that Ryan shouted, “Hyper Beam!”

It was a bit of a risk – Hyper Beam wasn’t 100% accurate, but then again, neither was Wrap.

“Explosion!” Julia’s voice was more forceful this time.

Silly Julia, don’t you know that Exeggutor’s too slow? The white beam of light materialized around the Dragonite’s mouth. She flew in circles above the stadium, like a ravenous raven. Exeggutor was glowing below, preparing to light things up. And then Thurnax fell towards the earth like a bullet. The crowd was cheering her on. She was flying as fast as a missile; she spit the energy from her mouth as she dipped down to the ground, nearly crashing. Thurnax sailed high into the sky. Her energy flew on towards the slow, living tree, and it washed over Exeggutor with a rush of blinding fire. When the light cleared, the dragon circled overhead, and the Exeggutor crumbled to the ground, covered in ash and dust.

“Exeggutor is unable to battle!” the old referee from the booth declared.

“Yeeeeeeeeeeeeeesss!” Ryan shouted, falling to his knees. “I did it, I did it! I KO’d one of her Pokémon!”

“Nice work, Ryan!” Rahul shouted in jubiliation. He wondered how the other boy was in such high spirits after what had happened to him these past two days.

“Stay focused, keep Wrapping until you miss!” Alex counseled. “If she’s smart, she’ll use Tauros now…”

“And Julia has chosen Tauros as her next Pokémon!” the referee was saying.

“Wrap!”

“Blizzard!”

Thurnax flew at the Tauros, her tail wiggling in anticipation of a nice squeeze. But the Tauros ran out of the way and Thurnax crashed into the far end of the stage, left to skid across the concrete ground until she slammed against the base of Julia’s trainer platform. Before the Dragonite could get up, though, Tauros’ Blizzard was upon her, and that nasty 4x weakness to ice brought her to her knees.

The first red dot beneath Ryan’s digital portrait faded. His heart was beating irregularly. He swallowed, trying to slow his breathing.

Dang it. I really wanted her to take out at least one more… “Myrrah’s your best bet,” Alex said. He was standing now, the 3DS nowhere to be seen. “Blizzard.”

“Yeah, that makes sense. Myrrah, give this bully a nice frosting!”

“Cloyster!” his Cloyster muttered, sailing through the air before landing in front of Tauros. Just like that, it was even again. She’s so aggressive, Ryan thought. I can hardly keep up.

Myrrah was hit by a Body Slam that sent her flying back, but her protective shell seemed to shield her from the brunt of the attack, and she came out of that scuffle relatively unharmed. The ensuing hailstorm of icicles and other bits of cold ravaged Tauros, washing him over with such intensity that Ryan knew it had to be a crit. Finally you’re doing something useful in this tournament, he thought.

“Hyper Beam!” Julia’s voice came high and authoritative. Her Tauros stamped its foot and rushed Cloyster, mustering up a massive Hyper Beam. That’s got enough energy to cook her up. “Myrrah, get out of the way! Don’t let that Hyper Beam hit you! Take Tauros out with one last Blizzard!”

“Cloy!” Myrrah shot into the air like the snot-rock she was. Ryan was so glad he had found her on the southern shores of Pallet Town.

Tauros snorted and released his massive Hyper Beam. Cloyster looked like she was a sitting duck. But as she shot through the air, she gained speed, and by the time the Hyper Beam reached her, Myrrah turned sharply in midair and dodged left. The crowd gasped. Julia’s hand was covering her mouth. Ryan felt his ears go warm with euphoria.

Myrrah landed in front of the Tauros and blasted him with a punch of ice wind and other assorted cold things. The Bull Pokémon shook violently and collapsed. Julia’s second dot faded from below her portrait on the overhead scoreboard. She’s not invincible, he told himself. She can be beaten. I will beat her.

“Clean it up, Jolteon!” Julia shouted, returning her wounded Lightning Pokémon to the stage.

Uh oh. That’s not a good matchup for Myrrah. Indeed, Jolteon could probably OHKO Myrrah, if Ryan remembered correctly, so he recalled his Pokémon and sent forth Spectre again. “Beat this little spikey dog thing, and you’ll never have to work another day of your life!” Ryan shouted madly after his Ghost Pokémon.

“Gengar, geng!” the Gengar cackled. Then he got a face full of Thunderbolt and went rolling backwards, screaming. Come on boy, don’t embarrass me. I caught you to win me my Marsh Badge. Come on, show the world just how good you are!

“Thunder Wave!”

“Mega Drain!”

Both attacks hit; Jolteon was faster. Its electric attack paralyzed Gengar good, jolting him back into the 1950s like a toaster in the bathtub. Though he keeled over as yellow bolts of lightning cascaded up and down his body, he did not give up. The Gengar shot his Mega Drain attack, which was a little seed that wrapped itself around Jolteon, sucking out some power and restoring it to the damaged Spectre. Jolteon moaned and nearly fell over. It has to be close to fainting. Thurnax hurt it real bad already.

Things were looking good… until the next Thunderbolt ravaged Gengar, hitting him with a critical punch. The attack nearly made the Gengar collapse. “Thunderbolt, Spectre. Come on, just a little more, I know you can do it! Don’t give up!”

“Gengaaaaaaaaaaaaaar!” Spectre roared. He trembled, standing as electric raced across his body still. Conjuring up a bit of electricty himself, he threw a bolt at the deft little Jolteon, hitting it in the face and sending it to the ground. The crowd erupted with glee. The referee reminded everyone that Julia was down to three Pokémon. Okay, okay. That’s good. Jolteon was one of my biggest fears. Now that it’s out of the way, I should be okay… just gotta be careful. I have the advantage.

He was smiling broadly. I’ve taken out three of Julia’s Pokémon. It’s not a fluke. I’m a good Pokémon trainer.

Shaking Ryan from his thoughts was the Rhydon who thence entered the stage.

“Rock Slide!” Julia said.

“Explosion.” Looks like our roles have been reversed.

And so too had their fates been, for in the next turn, Rhydon moved faster than the paralyzed Gengar, trapping it in a mess of rocks. Spectre didn’t even get the chance to Explode. This was worse than that night on Cinnabar Island. So close, Ryan thought miserably.

“Cloyster?” Ryan asked Alex, the most trustworthy and useful of the randos who followed him around.

Alex nodded.

“Take ‘em out, Myrrah! Blizzard!”

“Rock Slide!”

The ice winds came first, ravaging Rhydon so severely, it almost looked like it wasn’t going to get up (the referees were quite generous when they ruled that Rhydon was still able to battle, in Ryan’s estimation). The air smelled of cotton candy. Ryan swallowed and dug his fingernails into his palms when the Rhydon eventually stood up. They were shouting, all of them. It was such a civilized chaos, this. The wind touched his cheeks at least, and Ryan realized he was sweating. He leaned forward on the railing and exhaled deeply.

Rhydon flung its avalanche of rocks Myrrah’s way, but somehow the slow-as-heck Pokémon managed to dodge the attack. How is she dodging so many attacks? She’s slow. I’ve never seen her this quick before… And yet, this was real life. Myrrah did dodge the attack; her next Blizzard was sent to silence Rhydon.

Julia recalled her Rock Pokémon. Curse you and such. That’s ridiculous. Just let me KO them. She had two near-fainted Pokémon, and another who was asleep. She couldn’t hide them for much longer. They’ll have to come out sooner or later. It was sooner, apparently, for Ninetails, who then appeared to face the Cloyster. The Fox Pokémon was still asleep. The Blizzard covered it in super cold energy, lowering the Ninetails’ health considerably. Afterwards, the prim-and-proper fox remained fast asleep, as if nothing had happened. Heavy sleeper, Ryan thought. I can’t believe it didn’t wake up after that.

“Clamp!” Ryan ordered Myrrah.

The sleeping Fire Pokémon was easy pickings for Myrrah, especially with her favorite water move. The super effective damage ravaged Ninetails with each continuing Clamp; after the third one, the hurt Fire Pokémon finally awoke, doing a frontflip in confusion and barking madly. Looking around for its master, Ninetails tried to get a bearing on its surroundings… and then Myrrah came in for the fourth and final Clamp, and Ninetails hit the ground, unconscious.

We can do this. I can do this. He had not thought he could win this match. Coming into it, he had expected to lose. Ryan was always hopeful, but he was a realist too, and from what he had seen of Julia, she seemed to be way out of his league. And yet here he was fighting her, not backing down… and he was winning. She had two Pokémon left. He had four.

The wounded Rhydon returned, and Myrrah re-united the Drill Pokémon with her Blizzard attack. It was chilled to the stony bone, and when Rhydon collapsed and that fifth dot faded, the crowd’s energy grew palpable. They were waiting for Ryan to win. Now I got fans, he thought cynically. Now that it looks like I’m going to win…

Julia stood there on the other trainer platform, her head bowed, her last Poké Ball pressed against her forehead. This means so much to her. She’s going to give it everything she has.

“In a stunning turn of events, the girl who had never lost a Pokémon before today now finds herself with only one Pokémon remaining!” the booth referee said passionately over the microphone. “Can she do it? What does everyone think?”

The stadium shook. Julia took a deep breath and released her Starmie. This was it. Everyone was chanting for her or Ryan; it was now or never. It’s time my legend was born.

“Explosion, Myrrah!” I’m not going to be stupid. Explosion will do tremendous damage, even if it doesn’t take out Starmie.

“Thunderbolt!”

Ryan’s eyes nearly bulged out of his head. “Oh crap, I forgot her Starmie has Thunderbolt!”

“Ouch,” Alex replied. “That’s some bad luck. Although, I guess you deserve it, since Julia’s had some pretty bad luck all game long…”

“Hey, stop that!” Ryan was none too pleased with that latest sass comment from the small Chinese boy. “I’ve had plenty of bad luck too, and if we count the previous matches…”

“A critical hit, wow!” the referee bellowed. “Down goes Cloyster! What a move from Starmie!”

Indeed it was. Myrrah had fainted from a single Thunderbolt. Yeah, she had been damaged, but not that much. That critical was insane. “How’s that for bad luck, Alex?” he grumbled at the other boy. “I bet there was like a 1/100 chance for her Starmie to OHKO my Cloyster like that.”

Alex shrugged apathetically.

“Alright, Aegon, go!” Ryan said, returning his sleeping Charizard to the field. In hindsight, that probably wasn’t the best move. All it took was two Thunderbolts, and Aegon fainted. He never even woke up.

Now the crowd was murmuring tensely. Their energy was shifting. Ryan felt himself losing them, losing this match. Everything was spiraling out of control. Stay in control, he told himself. Don’t get distracted, Ryan. “NaVorro, finish this match!” the boy shouted, releasing his Tauros into Indigo Stadium.

“Blizzard!” Julia’s voice was angry and confident.

“Blizzard?” Ryan repeated, dumbfounded. “Dang, her Starmie really has great moves!”

“Rrrrieieeahah!” NaVorro retorted. He raced off towards the Starmie, as if he had received an order.

“Huh?” Ryan was confused.

“Ryan, you just told NaVorro to do a Blizzard attack!”

“Oh no!” Ryan cried in dread, pulling at his hair. “But that’s like the weakest move he could have used against Starmie!”

“Exactly.”

It was horrible. The crowd was too rambunctious. His Tauros was too far away. Ryan’s voice couldn’t carry that far. So all the boy could do was watch in horror as the easy KO slipped from between his fingers. Starmie shot a Blizzard, damaging NaVorro significantly; NaVorro returned the favor with a blast of ice, but his attack didn’t do nearly as much to the Starmie.

Starmie’s damaged, he noticed. That Blizzard didn’t do too much, but it did some… A thought burst into his mind, and Ryan couldn’t resist it. Not here, not now. They were cheering for him. They wanted the big finale. They wanted him to win. This was his best shot. “Hyper Beam!” he screamed to NaVorro.

“No!” Alex shouted. “Starmie’s not damaged enough!”

“It is!” spoke Ryan in a most reckless tone. “I know it is! NaVorro’s gonna win this match for me!”

The next Blizzard did more damage than the last one. It was another crit. I don’t want to hear a word about her having bad luck. This is ridiculous! NaVorro collapsed onto his back two feet, breathing hard. His fur was covered in ice. His breathing came erratic. The crowd begged lustily for blood. They sensed a Julia comeback now. Everyone was with her. Ryan gasped, wiping away the heat on his cheeks. A single lonesome Pidgey flew through cloud-streaked sky above, cawing soundlessly. The white light took to the air and hit Starmie, knocking the Mysterious Pokémon over. The crowd gasped. A line judge went running over to the collapsed Starmie and shook his head, stepping back. The people in the stands began clapping wildly, chanting ‘Starmie!’ ‘Starmie!’ ‘Get up Starmie!’. And so it did. It looked worse for wear, but it wasn’t fainted yet. Not by a longshot.

“Recover, Starmie!” Julia said coolly. Starmie did a little dance and recovered half of its health.

“Oh come on, that’s unbelievable! I call hacks!” Ryan said like this was his first trip to the DMV. “How can it just bring its health back like that?”

“Alakazam has that same move,” Alex reminded him.

Yeah, yeah, but dad gave him that move, not me. NaVorro was done; as he was slower than Starmie, that meant Starmie got two free turns (on account of Hyper Beam needing to recharge). After recovering half of its health, the Starmie mercilessly finished off Ryan’s Bull Pokémon with another Blizzard.

And so, it was one versus one again.

“That’s it, folks!” the referee boomed. “Julia has just performed a miraculous comeback, taking out three of Ryan’s Pokémon with her mighty Starmie! Will it be enough for her to stage perhaps the greatest comeback in Indigo League history? Let’s find out!”

Please no, Ryan thought. Not against me. Not like this. He took out Alakazam’s Poké Ball. I’ve been saving you, buddy, he thought. I haven’t used you since you evolved. Heck, I haven’t used you at all in the finals. No one’s seen my Alakazam in battle… not until now. I only hope dad won’t get too mad. He glanced back towards the bench behind him, getting a brief look at the dour figure of his father. I have no other choice.

Alakazam’s ball sailed through the air before landing in front of Starmie. Out from it came Ryan’s oldest buddy in the whole Pokéworld. “Zam…” Alakazam yawned to the cheers of the spectators.

The referee went into hysterics describing how beautiful Ryan’s Pokémon was. “Last time we saw this ‘mon, he was a weak little Abra who evolved into a Kadabra to win Ryan a place in the top 16! Wow, look at how things have changed, he’s evolved again!”

How things have changed, indeed, the boy thought dejectedly. “Alright, Alakazam!” Ryan yelled, trying to raise his spirits. “Let’s win this thing, you and me!”

“Alakazam!”

“I don’t think that’s going to happen!” Julia shouted from across the stage. “I’m winning this match! The Indigo League is mine!”

Every spectator was on their feet, shouting and clapping and crying for their contestants. They wanted to see a grand finale, a dramatic end to this year’s tournament. We’ll see, Ryan thought. He exchanged a look with his Alakazam, his last Pokémon left in this tournament; then, Alakazam scampered off towards the Starmie. I told her she would leave this tournament with six of her Pokémon KO’d. I’m not about to break my promise. I can’t give up now. I’ve worked so hard to get to this point.

Heat was rising in his chest, giving the boy a lightheaded feeling. Ryan forgot his fear, forgot his pain. Mentally, he let everything go – this wasn’t a conscious decision, it just happened. He took a deep breath and pointed at the Starmie, screaming out the name of the move he wanted Alakazam to use.

But under the roar of the eager crowd, Ryan couldn’t hear his own voice.

Episode 40: Now It Begins

There they were – the last two Pokémon trainers left in the Indigo League. They had one Pokémon left apiece. Ryan’s was a Alakazam, but you already knew that. Julia fancied herself a fancy level 58 Starmie. In the stands, vendors wearing bloated, golden Pikachu costumes waded through the pandemonium and chaos, exchanging Poké Dollars for cheap trinkets or low-quality stadium food. They were loud, all of them, loud enough to give one a headache. They were screaming for him to win – some of the spectators, at least. Others chanted Julia’s name. Many held up cheap cardboard posters with pictures of Pokémon or useless, encouraging words scrawled in black ink meant to comfort the poor trainers. At least they’re excited. This is it!

The boy had to grasp the railings to stop himself from shaking. He could think of nothing but this upcoming battle. He’d never battled a Starmie with his Alakazam before, especially not one that had TMs. He had no idea if Alakazam would be stronger, or if Alakazam generally lose to Starmie. That said, he didn’t like that Starmie was part psychic type, for that meant Alakazam’s only offensive move would be half as strong as usual.

“Thunder Wave!” Both Ryan’s and Julia’s voices echoed in unison. She has the same idea, he realized with horror.

The two super fast Pokémon were paralyzed, covered in dancing electricity, and became slow as molasses on a Sunday afternoon picnic party. It was the worst sight Ryan had seen since thirty seconds ago.

“The stall party’s underway!” Alex’s tone sounded celebratory. “But you’re in a good position, Ryan. Don’t forget to have Alakazam use Recover if he takes a nasty hit!”

“Right. Psychic, buddy!”

“Blizzard!”

Julia’s attack found pay dirt. Ryan’s Alakazam was paralyzed – he couldn’t move. How’s that for luck? The ice hit Alakazam severely, sending him limping back, howling out in pain. The people in the stands laughed jubilantly – they could see the end in sight. This was Julia’s tournament, after all.

The next Psychic hit, doing some decent damage; Julia’s Starmie collapsed afterwards, yellow electric bolts swimming across its body like desperate leeches. It was paralyzed. On the next turn, Ryan’s Alakazam recovered half of his health, bringing him back to full strength. Starmie was paralyzed again on the next turn and was unable to perform that Blizzard Julia wanted it to. Okay, maybe I have a little luck.

On the next turn, Alakazam was afflicted by the terrible plague of paralysis. “No!!” Ryan sobbed melodramatically. “If only that Psychic had gone through, I know I would have won!”

His mother was screaming something in the background, and judging by the tone of her voice, he had no idea if she was in high or low spirits. It was a crazy mystery that will never be brought up again.

Returning back to the battle, it became apparent that the Starmie had been quite damaged – but with Alakazam’s last attack not going through, that allowed Julia’s Pokémon to Recover again. Ryan slapped his forehead dramatically. “You weren’t kidding about this being a stall party!”

“I like this kinda party!” Logan whistled.

“Froaaa!” the Frodo dobo frog sang from Logan’s shoulder.

On the next turn, Alakazam was paralyzed again and the Starmie’s Blizzard attack went sailing by Alakazam, painfully inaccurately, especially considering how slow Alakazam had become following the paralysis. The crowd detested that Blizzard missing, raining angry popcorn down upon the girl and her entourage. Up from their seats rose the aristocratically-dressed men and women who gave their loyalty to Julia; in their fine suits and colorful dresses, the group of rich hominids bent down, picked up the popcorn (watch out, it’s hot, join the movies!), and started throwing it back at the angry spectators, who just wanted more fights and more general Pokémon mayhem.

Maybe we both just have terrible luck.

During the next round, the two sleek Pokémon traded attacks: Psychic did decent damage, while Blizzard ravaged Alakazam again, taking away about half of his health. This battle will never end, Ryan thought. They’re evenly-matched. I have to wait until her Starmie runs out of stamina to do Recover…

Hot wings were being thrown. The crowd was jeering and booing and begging for blood. They want a quick fight, not this. They want to be entertained; they don’t want to be forced to think. Well, both trainers wanted to win, not make sure the crowd was having an adequate amount of fun. I guess she doesn’t care about putting on a good show after all…

Alakazam shot another burst of indigo energy at Starmie, causing it to fall over. Paralyzed, it could not retaliate. As Alakazam jumped forward to perform the finishing blow on the weary-looking Starmie, he tripped and crumpled onto the ground, electrical energy running up and down his body. Starmie used its next turn to recover its health.

Ryan’s voice rose in uncertainty. “Alex, this is impossible!”

“Just keep at it,” the Chinese boy said soothingly. “When her Starmie runs out of PP for its moves…”

Another turn passed where both Pokémon rolled about on the ground, paralyzed. This was great entertainment. Ryan thought he noticed Colonel Sanders, aka King Baby, throwing popcorn on the floor for the careless, dirty plebeians who surrounded him like locusts. It was a diabolical plot because no one can resist President Goodshow’s Extra Buttery Buttered Popcorn, Esquire. The commoners flung themselves to the cold concrete floors to get a few snip-snip yum-yum bites of the golden kernels.

“Recover!”

“Blizzard!”

Both attacks went through. Ryan’s heart was beating hard. Something had to give. Something had to happen. Please, he thought, my Pokémon deserve this. They’ve trained so hard… Both Pokémon fell over paralyzed again. Man, they’re both getting paralyzed way more than 25% of the time. Guess that’s just another lie Dex told me.

The cold air reeked of smoke and sugar and sweat and his throat was as dry as the Sahara Desert. The two Pokémon traded a Psychic and a Blizzard. The crowd grew more interested again, as two savage attacks hit the brittle Pokémon and they cried out in pain. You like that, don’t you? He glanced around at the crowd, in disbelief at their bloodlust, wondering why no one else was seeing what he was.

Another Psychic hit, doing tremendous damage. Starmie fell, before rising again to hit Alakazam with another Blizzard. The Alakazam was damaged, but not that much – Starmie was much weaker now. Everyone could see it. Ryan could feel this battle was at its end. He took a deep breath and shook uncontrollably, wiping the sweat from his forehead. “That’s it, buddy! Finish off Starmie!”

Nobly did Alakazam rush forward again, and painfully did he fall, to wallow in paralysis so unfair and inopportune. Across the stadium, Julia’s call of ‘Recover!’ was answered, and Starmie was restored to good health again. Ryan still didn’t understand how they could do little dances and regain their health back. It was like magic.

“I was so close!” Ryan wailed. “If one more Psychic would have gone through…”

Alakazam used Recover; Starmie was paralyzed. What little optimism Ryan had left vanished like the last rays of sunlight in the darkening sky. I’ll never be able to do it, he thought. She’s too stubborn. I can’t defeat this Starmie.

“There, look!” Alex shouted, after the next round. Alakazam had shot a Psychic, once again doing a ton of damage, while Starmie had chosen a Thunderbolt attack. “Starmie’s out of power for Blizzard. Now’s your chance, Ryan! Thunderbolt shouldn’t do much to Alakazam! Now finish her! Do it!” He sounds a lot like Palpatine.

Ryan nodded. He felt his heartbeat rising. He swallowed hard and shouted, “Psychic!”

But on the next turn, Alakazam was hit by the paralysis bug; Starmie shot a wonderfully-powerful Thunderbolt as it danced around the stage with its last bit of energy. The Psi Pokémon took the electric attack poorly, falling over screaming.

“Ooh, that’s gotta hurt! Alakazam looks like it’s about to faint!” the referee said. Then, he grunted and added, “Starmie doesn’t look so hot, either! It’s all coming down to this, folks! What a show!”

Or was it? Maybe they’ll just be paralyzed for another twenty turns. Or maybe not. Without Blizzard, Starmie looked quite vulnerable to Ryan and Alakazam, so the teal-haired trainer pressed on the attack. This is for the whole tournament, he reminded himself. This is for the Indigo League!

On the next turn, Alakazam was paralyzed and unable to move. Starmie performed a Recover dance. There was so much swag in his moves, I can’t even describe it. All looked lost. Alakazam was below half health, Ryan could tell, and Starmie was showing no signs of weakening. Doubt crept into Ryan’s mind. “Alex…?”

“Trust me. Recover, and then Psychic until you win!”

Alright. You do know what you’re talking about, I guess. “Alakazam, Recover!” Ryan commanded.

“Ala… ka… zam…” Alakazam panted, doing his little dance and bringing himself back to near full health. This is so weird.

Another Thunderbolt followed, bringing the Psychic Pokémon to his knees again. How many crits can she possibly land?

“Recover!” Ryan bellowed like a real man. Alakazam looked to his trainer, tired and panting, and nodded. He performed a rather avant-garde version of the now-overused Recover dance (his moves would have made Yoko really proud) and restored his health. There was weariness in the old Alakazam’s eyes, but respect too. He trusts me. He knows we can win. We will win! “Don’t give up, buddy! I know you’re tired! You just need to fight a little longer! You can beat that ugly Starmie, I know you can!”

“Alakazam!”

Another Thunderbolt followed; this one barely grazed Alakazam’s shoulder, doing minimal damage. The elegantly-mustached muchacho hurled a beam of purple energy at Starmie. To the onlookers’ delight, the Psychic hit its mark, and Starmie was dropped down to very low health. Instead of having her Starmie heal, this time, Julia shouted, her voice breaking, “Thunderbolt!”

It was another critical hit, as predictable as Rahul’s love of My Little Ponyta. Alakazam cried out and dropped his spoons, leaning forward, sweating, breathing hard. He was tired, too tired. He couldn’t keep spamming Recover; he’d soon run out of energy. That health he was getting back didn’t seem to be 100% authentic.

Across from Alakazam lay the slumped figure of Starmie, on the stark brown stone floor. The crowd grew impatient and began flinging food again. “Each Pokémon must stand up by the time I count to ten, or I will declare them unable to battle!” the booth referee declared. “One… two… three… four… five…”

“Alakazam, get up! Please!” Ryan’s eyes had become wet.

“Stand up, Starmie!” Julia commanded, a bit of worry in her voice. Despite that, her Mysterious Pokémon got to its feet slowly and with a cry.

Alakazam sat there, breathing hard. He looked to Ryan, then to Starmie, then to Ryan again. “Get up, please! Don’t give up, Alakazam!”

“Eight… nine…”

“Zam…!”

Alakazam, both spoons in hand, found his feet, and readied another Psychic attack. This time, he would not succumb to paralysis. The golden bolts of electricity spurted around his thin form, but Alakazam paid them no mind. “Psychic attack!”

“Alakazam!” his father’s Pokémon shouted in a war cry. Into the air he jumped, charging up his attack.

Julia had called for her Pokémon to perform another Thunderbolt. It was risky, what Ryan was doing. If his Psychic didn’t take out Starmie and Alakazam suffered another bout of paralysis next turn… well, he’d lose. But if not…

Alakazam’s purple energy glowed in the dying light of day. Between his spoons it materialized like a Haunter, thick and pulsing with light and energy. Ryan could see the smoke rising from the burning energy beam from where he stood. His heart pounded against his ribcage like a desperate lover at the door. Ryan’s entire body was covered in sweat. He couldn’t hear the crowd at all. Their energy – the way they screamed and swung their arms and threw popcorn and drinks – enveloped him, and he thought of nothing else. They were all cheering his name, at least from behind. Across the stage, Julia’s family and friends had risen to their feet again. This is it.

Psychic sailed through the air on a million hopes and submarines. The stadium fell to a hush as the burning attack found its way from Alakazam’s spoons to Starmie’s blood red gem. The Water/Psychic Pokémon was hit hard, and it flew back to land in the center of the stage in a pile of dust. A few spectators yipped. Most held their breaths. Ryan and Julia stood awkwardly, too afraid to move. In the sky above, a lonely Pidgey danced against the winds. A line judge ran over to Starmie and inspected it for a second. Then, he looked up and spoke into his walkie-talkie very quietly so that no one would hear him.

A moment later, the head referee in the booth returned to the microphone. Growling, he began, “Ahumph, ah, well, it looks like I have confirmation from one of my assistants that Starmie is – indeed and irrevocably – unable to continue battling. I do declare that Ryan from Acapulco has won the match! Congratulations to our new Indigo League Winner!”

He couldn’t see. Ryan was on his knees again, tears streaming down his cheeks as hot as life’s blood. He was punching the sky like a toddler so much that he could hear the tendons in his shoulders popping and vibrating. All the noise blended together into one uninterrupted, cacophonous cheer. There were lights flashing, and the sparkling of ten thousand cameras made Ryan’s eyes spasm and his vision be punctured by a hundred unmoving black dots. Confetti was blowing in the wind. He smelled cotton candy, so sweet he could taste it. Above, fireworks were being lit, red and orange and purple and green in fanning, flaming patterns of Pokémon. My Pokémon, he thought. There’s NaVorro… and Myrrah… and Thurnax… The fireworks exploded one after another, showing each of his six Pokémon, finally settling on Alakazam.

As that happened, Ryan’s real Alakazam teleported onto the trainer platform in front of the boy. “Alakazam!” Ryan cried, lunging forward for his Pokébuddy.

“Zam zam Alakazam!” cried the Psi Pokémon, hugging Ryan back.

“This is what we worked for! This is it buddy! We did it! You were great out there… I couldn’t have done it without you.”

“Alakazam!” Alakazam bellowed, beating his chest like a triumphant gypsy. “Zam zam…”

“Thank you ma’am!” Ryan stood up, his arm wrapped around his Pokémon’s neck. The people serenaded him, cheering his name, clapping exuberantly for him. A lump rose in Ryan’s throat. This isn’t real… this can’t be happening. His glee caught in his throat when he noticed Julia on the other platform. Her shoulders had slunk forward; she was watching him. Devastated, no doubt. She won’t cry in front of them, though. She won’t let them see her weakness. And so she didn’t. Julia held her grace, even clapping for him as the referee crafted a sweet soliloquy about that dude named Ryan from Acapulco.

It was surreal, as if he was watching someone else. I didn’t win the Indigo League. I couldn’t have. This isn’t real. Jumping off the trainer platform, Ryan turned to his friends and family. Most of them didn’t believe in me at first. His mother was kissing him, her tears falling down her face like gushing waterfalls. Alex and Rahul were saying something, patting him on the back. Logan was whooping and waving about the signature he had gotten from Ryan all those days ago. His newly-hatched Frodo dobo cooed a pleasant, ‘Kiieeeeeaaahhhh!!’ while perched on Ryan’s shoulder.

Alakazam stood in front of Ryan, protecting his master. In spite of his wounds and weariness, the Psi Pokémon did not betray a hint a fatigue. There was Ryan’s father, wearing dark clothes and an old hat with the Kanto flag on it. His arms were crossed, his beard was long. His skin was ruddy, and his bald head looked like an orange. He wasn’t looking at Ryan.

“A lot of people came, huh? Thirty thousand, right?” his father asked stiffly.

“I don’t know,” Ryan replied breathlessly. The heat was rising in his cheeks.

“More than I remember.”

“Yeah, I guess a lot has changed over the years…”

“Competition used to be tougher. They just don’t train ‘em like they used to…”

The boy felt like his brain had been slapped. Why do you do that? “Did you like the fight?”

Ryan’s father shrugged. “Yeah, you did pretty good. I’m proud of you son.”

Aren’t you mad about Abra? He’s right here… he evolved for me, not you. He’s a big part of the reason I won. You have to be mad. But Ryan liked this version of his father much better than the angry, bitter one. So he said, as he turned away to the others making conversation behind him, “Thanks, da–”

There she was, like a fairy floating above a firestorm. Her pink hair swayed in the evening’s breeze. She was pale, had dark circles beneath her eyes, and looked thinner than the last time he’d seen her. Her makeup was thick and applied clumsily, red and white and black lines and splotches mixed against her light skin: the artificial bleeding into the authentic. Her eyes, pink as new-bloom roses, swam with love and hate and burning envy.

“Hey kid.”

Confetti fell around them. Someone had blasted open a cork of orangepagne; they were shouting and partying and laughing and singing. He tasted salt on his lips.

“Kelly.”

“You did it.” She laughed softly and bit her lip slowly. Ryan’s hands were tingling. An itch in his throat made him swallow timidly.

“Th-thanks… did you see the whole thing?”

She nodded. “It’s only luck,” Kelly said casually, still biting her lip. She stared at him knowingly, and the boy recoiled, shivering. “God Ryan… look at where we are.”

“I know.” I don’t believe it. This is a dream. This can’t be right… I’m not the best trainer in Kanto, am I? That can’t be right! All his journey, Ryan had been told he was no good. Some of that had been the teasing of friends, but many others had doubted him along the way. Everyone did. Even mom and dad. They didn’t want me to become a Pokémon trainer to begin with. “Why don’t we blow this joint?” he asked recklessly. “Get away from all the noise and people.”

Kelly’s smirk formed with tired, worn care. “Don’t be silly, kid.”

“Kid? Kid?! I’m not a kid!” Ryan retorted. “I just won the Indigo League. Come on, Kelly, you know I…”

“I know,” she murmured sadly, pulling him closer. For a moment, all he saw was her face, all the makeup and powder and flesh. She smelled of lime and guava, and her lips were puffed out…

And then someone grabbed Ryan by the shoulder and spun him around. It was an incredibly ancient old man in a faded formal shirt and khaki pants. “Hey Ryan, congratulations!” he said, slapping the boy on the shoulder. “I always knew you’d win the whole thing.”

That’s Charles Goodshow… the president of the Indigo League…! He’s so puny-looking, and I bet he’s really old, but man, he can sure hit hard. “Uh, thanks, sir. I really appreciate it.”

Charles Goodshow licked his lips and looked around quickly. “Now, has anyone told you your first duty as the Indigo League Winner, Ryan?”

“No sir.”

“Good. Well, let me be the first to congratulate you for winning our single-elimination tournament, Ryan,” the man continued. He motioned for the boy to follow him over to a nearby door. “You and Julia put on a good show! But now it’s time for you to face the Elite 4, and, if you get past them, the Kanto League Champion.”

“Who’re they?”

Mr. Goodshow cleared his throat. “Some of the strongest Pokémon trainers in Kanto. You will have to face them all in a row, without resting your Pokémon. You may use potions in between battles, but nothing else. You cannot switch out the six Pokémon you used in this match. Do you understand, Ryan?”

“Yeah, but wait…” Ryan replied, looking over his shoulder for his family and friends. They were a ways back, still clapping and whooping and celebrating. A warm feeling spread in the boy’s chest. Kelly… he thought for a moment, but then he shook his head to clear his thoughts. I have to stay focused now. It’s not over yet. But afterwards… “Can’t I heal my Pokémon before you take me to the Elite 4? I mean, I just won a six-on-six battle against another trainer! Five of my Pokémon have fainted. How is that fair?”

“Yes, you can do that,” Mr. Goodshow agreed. “So come on, let’s hurry. This will take several hours. Better get started now.”

And off the old man sped, through the door, into the darkness.

“Hey, wait up!” Ryan shouted in surprise. Looking back to his friends and family, he gave them two peace signs (make love not war) and ran off after the Indigo League president, into the darkness that awaited him, and him alone.


The Indigo Plateau mansion was luxurious and clean as the backside of a trombone. He hadn’t seen much of it yet, for he was in the mansion’s own Pokémon Center, waiting for his six Pokébuddies to be healed. This is crazy. The Elite 4 gets their own Pokémon Center.

He kept his mind off that day’s events by being interviewed by the guileless Cheesesteak Jimmy’s. Cheesesteak was a beat reporter if there ever was one, as valuable as a halfpile of dirt. He asked Ryan how the boy felt, if he wanted to thank anyone, and what he was going to do with the money… the standard questions. Ryan blew through the answers in a daze, and when it was over, he didn’t remember what he had told the bloke.

He was also interviewed by Freddy Bob Jr., who is a real great guy, and Ryan gave him the inside scoop on how he had evolved his Dragonite. Ryan’s tip for other trainers out there, just like him, watching the program, was to just get captured by the Painted Dragons and have your Dragonair break out of its cage to save you. Of course, this would only work if all of your other Pokémon had fainted or were stolen too. That was the most surefire way of evolving a Dragonair into a Dragonite, in Ryan’s estimation.

It didn’t feel that much different now that he was the Indigo League Winner. He sat in a chair, watched TV, ate a cold sandwich, read some magazines, and waited for his Pokémon to be returned to him by Indigo Plateau Nurse Joy (she was definitely in the top one thousand Nurse Joys). To be honest, Ryan was a little shell-shocked. His mind was racing, buzzing, and ringing like a bell. He could hardly remember the battle.

Charles Goodshow came slinking in a few minutes later, as Ryan leaned back on a couch and watched Cheesesteak Jimmy’s interview of him play on repeat. Man I look good, he thought.

“Hey Ryan,” the Indigo League president sighed, sitting down next to him on a plush cushion. He was wearing a ragged purple hat on backwards. “How are you feeling?”

“Alright.” The boy didn’t let the man see that he was still shaking, that the anxiety and adrenaline hadn’t lessened up much since the end of the match. “I guess it’s still a little surreal…”

“Haha, yeah, that’s what they all say.” The president slapped him on the back again. “If you had to describe how you felt when your Alakazam beat that Starmie, what would you say?”

Are you interviewing me too? I bet he has a secret voice recorder in his pocket. “I guess, it was just relief,” the boy whispered. “A moment of triumph, and…”

“Just a moment?” Mr. Goodshow’s eyes twinkled.

“Yeah…” Ryan sighed, bowing his head. “For now.”

“Cheer up, Ryan,” Mr. Goodshow said, standing. “You won the Indigo League! Only one person does that every year!”

“And how many of them beat the Elite 4 and champion?”

“Oh, about five percent,” the elderly gentleman guessed. “It doesn’t happen often. Our current champion has held that position for years!”

“Wow…” the boy murmured. “I-I don’t have a chance, do I?”

“Oh, you might,” the man replied. “Your team – and Julia’s too, to be frank – has been the best I’ve seen in a long time.”

The boy clasped his hands together.“Yeah, wow… well, this has all been one crazy ride.”

“And you’re not done yet!” the old man grinned. Not done yet, Ryan thought cheerlessly. But the roots of the trees grow deep, and under the ground the Kings of Winter sit their thrones, yada yada yada. I’ve heard this all before.

“Yeah… I’ve been thinking about these upcoming battles, and well, when exactly am I getting my cash prize for winning the tournament?”

Mr. Goodshow looked taken aback. “Uh… after your battles in this mansion conclude. The closing ceremonies will be held tomorrow…”

“But I’m broke,” Ryan complained, “and I need to buy some potions for my Pokémon! I don’t have enough for four more battles before facing the champion!”

“Eh, that’s too bad then,” the old man said. “It doesn’t matter, I suppose. Don’t worry about it. Plenty of champions have come storming through without using even one potion. If your Pokémon are strong, you should be fine.” Slapping Ryan on the back, he pointed to the counter, where a Chansey was walking to, a tray of Poké Balls in its hands. “Come on, Ryan. It’s time.”

He stood up and followed Mr. Goodshow to the counter. The Chansey rang the bell joyfully and handed Ryan over his Poké Balls. They were warm to the touch. No Nurse Joy. That’s a bad omen.

He followed the man out of the empty Pokémon Center, down the long marble halls of the Indigo Plateau mansion. The floors were dark, the air stale and thin. A few lights were on, but many were not, giving the place a creepy, abandoned feeling. Ryan’s heartbeats thumped in his throat with every step that echoed through that desolate palace. This is where the Indigo League Champion lives. If I beat him…

“Oh look, there’s a picture of Sir William Raz’bry,” President Goodshow said suddenly, pointing to a painting on the wall.

It was faded and covered in dust, but Ryan could tell that it was a picture of a young boy with short, spiky black hair and a cheeky smile on his face. He was holding up a huge trophy and smiling widely. “Who’s that?”

“The first Indigo League Champion. He won the inaugural tournament more than a hundred years ago!”

“Wow. What team did he use?”

The man scratched his chin dramatically. “Hmm… I believe he was the one who used six Chansey.”

Six?!

“Yeah, that’s right. Ah, I remember it now. We put a species limit on tournament teams afterwards because of how unstoppable he had been.”

Ryan’s voice was echoing too. “That’s crazy… I mean, Chansey are so rare in the wild.” I’ve only ever seen one… the one Logan convinced to join him. And I’m still not sure that was a wild Chansey…

“That they are, my boy! Just think, a team of six Dragonite… a team of six Gyarados… why, the winner each year would be the kid who caught the rarest Pokémon, not the most skilled combatant! It was a problem we addressed very early on.”

They strode down that hallway, pictures on either side of them. There were not many – perhaps twenty or thirty – but they were the total number of Indigo League Champions, left to rule over the region for their years in service. That’s so cool. They were the highest-ranking trainers in the land. And they’re just kids, he saw. All the paintings and photographs are of boys and girls around my age…

“Ah, there’s Timothy Timbucket Inyawabi,” Goodshow pointed out. “He won by Surfing his Nidoking to victory. He only used the one Pokémon the whole tournament.”

“Dang, son!”

“And there’s Melissa the Cabbage O’Leary. She beat all competition – back when it was a 32-entrant tournament – with a Magikarp and a Zubat, and nothing else.”

“Wow, the competition must’ve been pretty bad that year.”

“Oh yeah, it was. I don’t know why…” The president put his hand over his mouth and let out a muffled scream. “O-oh… I remember why.”

But he never told Ryan why. “Cool, and such.”

The president nodded in agreement. “Ah, and there’s Ja’Crispy Vulcano, who befriended a mythical Mew fifty years ago and used it to win the tournament. It was a legendary run, the stuff of my dreams, truly!”

Mew? “Was it blue?”

“A shiny Mew? Oh heavens no, I don’t believe any of those exist in the wild. Ryan, don’t be beyond ridiculous!”

You would know. “Right.”

“Ah, and there is my favorite champion ever! A woman named Jennifer Bohlmann who won with her shiny Raichu more than a decade ago! What a fighting spirit she had! A truly intelligent, yet empathetic warrior. She took my breath away. My goodness gracious, son.”

“Hang on… a shiny Raichu?” Does that mean…?

“Yeah, why you so fixated on the shinies, boy?!” Goodshow growled, shoving Ryan along. “Move your feet, kid, we ain’t got time for shinies now!”

As they moved on, the hallway widened, and torches lined the walls. There were no pictures here. The two kept on a brisk pace.

“Were any of the past champions like me?” he asked. “I mean, were their Pokémon around as powerful as mine?”

Charles Goodshow cackled mightily. “Oh yes, especially the early ones! You could have beat them all, I’m sure of it! These past few years… trainers have been getting smarter and their Pokémon stronger, and now here we are. Ten years ago, I’m sure you would have won this tournament easily, Ryan.”

“Dang, that’s crazy.”

“Ah, here we are,” the president murmured, bringing Ryan to a large open hall. In the center, a massive blue jade fountain was trickling water pleasantly. A large, smoothed-out gemstone hung from the ceiling, milk white and pulsating with light. “That’s the Heart of a Fallen Star,” he gestured to the hanging gem. “And one day, we will forge Dawn from its core, to face against the Great Other and his Cold Host in the Long Night.”

“Okay, sir, yeah, that sounds really c-cool.” Oh great, now he’s going crazy on me too!

The president stopped at the base of the fountain and sat. Exhaling deeply, he grunted, “This is it. The four doors on either side will lead you to the Elite 4 members…” He pointed to each door. There were guards standing at attention beside each thirty-foot tall marble gateway and symbols hanging above each one: one for Bug type; one for Fighting type; one for Ice type; and one for Ghost type. “Each one specializes in a single Pokémon type, so prepare yourself adequately before passing through each door. Once you are inside, you may not exit until you have either won or lost the Pokémon battle against that Elite 4 member. You may challenge them in any order. Do you understand, Ryan?”

“Yes, sir.”

“The rules for these battles are the same as the three six-on-six battles you participated in during the Indigo League finals. Do you remember those rules?”

“Yes sir.”

“Good.” President Goodshow sprung up with sudden energy. “Remember, you can only attempt to put one Pokémon to sleep per battle.”

“Right.”

“Good luck, Ryan,” the old man said, smiling warmly. “There aren’t any crowds down here, nobody here to cheer you on, but don’t forget that these fights are just as important as the previous ones. You may be alone, but you have your Pokémon, and your wits. Try your best to defeat everyone you can.”

“I will,” the boy promised. “I’ll be the next Indigo League Champion.” For Kelly, he thought madly, his heart pumping like a gong. I’ll become champion for her.

And so President Goodshow excused himself and walked on back down the derelict marble halls, laughing quietly to himself. But in the dead air of that forgotten mansion, his chuckling echoed and danced across the room around Ryan, and the boy felt his cheeks flushing hot again.

His eyes found the door with the Bug type symbol over it. He counted the potions in his backpack again – three max revives, two full heals, a couple lesser heals and PP restores… nothing else. I have to sweep. I have to destroy my foes, if I want to have a chance against the champion. I need all six of my Pokémon at full health to fight him.

Ryan swallowed and took out his Poké Ball. He knew there was one Pokémon on his team who could sweep the Bug type specialist. He came, he saw, he conquered. And so will I.

Ryan walked up to the guard patrolling in front of that door. The man opened the thick stone door and let the boy in with polite gestures and sycophantic words. Ryan inhaled sharply, raised his Poké Ball, and swam into the darkness.


“‘Ey, Ryan,” Jun Baba-o said happily. He sat perched in a tree in the room at the end of the hall. There was a little garden in the room that sweltered and felt humid as a North Carolina forest. Around him, a dense, moist, but petite forest grew. It looked like one big bush to Ryan, and that made him hate it.

No way. “Oh, hi Jun. I didn’t know you were in the Elite 4!”

He nodded. “Huh! Yer da Indigo League Winner, eh? Dat’s crazy, low brah.”

“I know.”

“You here ta challenge me, ‘ey brah?”

“Yep.”

“You wanna be da champ?”

“That’s right.”

The tattoos on Jun Baba-o’s face rippled and danced when he guffawed. “Alright, good, good. I always wanted a new champion. You can use six Pokémon if ya still got ‘em, but I’ll use five, eh?”

Ryan smiled, in spite of the anxiety he was feeling. “Ye-yeah… you’re my first opponent, Jun.”

“Oh! Okay den, brah! Let’s go!”

“Aegon, I choose you!”

Ryan’s Charizard appeared in Jun’s bush, flapping his wings expectedly and spitting flames from the end of his long blood-orange snout. There to face him was a sinister-looking Scyther, as pale as the Heart of a Fallen Star. If this goes as planned, he shouldn’t get hit even once.

“Aw… come on, brah! No fair, you use fire!”

Ryan chuckled. “Fire Blast it, Aegon!”

“Yo, gimmie dat Swords Dance!” Jun cried hopefully.

The Mantis Pokémon felt that fire, and how quickly he fell! Screaming, rolling in the bush, he set several bushes, flowers, and blades of grass aflame. Several Chansey swarmed out from suddenly-open doors in the wall, spraying fire extinguishers like those things cost a million Poké Dollars apiece. When they were done, they scattered back into the holes in the walls, and Jun returned his cooked mantis.

“Go, Beedrill!”

“Fire Blast!”

Down went Beedrill, in smoking flames. Jun grunted a mean grunt and threw his next Poké Ball. “Go, Pinsir! Pinch dat sucka, eyoooo waaah?!”

“Fire Blast.” Ryan’s posture slouched, and he stood there as elegantly as a Pokémas elf.

Pinsir ran at Ryan’s hovering Aegon, and Aegon smoked that noob. Down he went, his shell be cookin’, y’all. It was really spectacular, you had to see it to believe it.

“‘Eyy brah, what you do?!” Jun complained. “Dat fire got power! Dat fire be smokin’, eh brah?!”

“Feel it.” Ryan’s eyes swam with dragonflame. He felt warm, his cheeks flushed, his posture high and cold. This is good. This is very good.

Jun’s next Pokémon, a measly Parasect (a Pokémon that is, undeniably, hot garbage) took about 468% damage from the fourth Fire blast (no misses yet, thank RNGsus), and that little one went flying back to the sounds of grand harpsichords and flying cupid, it was such a dainty bug.

“Hmmm… I see. Dis is how it must be,” Jun grunted earnestly. “Scyther, you go, brah! Let’s make dis sucka like die ‘n go dead, come, come join me!!”

“Scyther Scyyyyyy!!”

“Jun, I think you know what time this is,” Ryan said, stepping forward. “Right, Aegon?” He patted his Charizard’s back, causing Aegon to puff flames of orange and yellow.

“Oh awoo!” The portly fellow bellowed in awe. His mohawk looked really sweet too. “Feel dat fire, eh brah?!”

“Just so.”

Aegon released a fifth flame, and let’s be real, it could have missed. If this game was simmed, probably one of the Fire Blasts woulda missed, and someone woulda done pitiful damage to Aegon, but we don’t need that jive nonsense, and Aegon’s gotta get that perfect sweep, ya know? That Fire Blast didn’t miss. It hit Scyther, the Second of His Name and sent him up in flames and sailing back into its owner’s Poké Ball. It was grand. That was awesome. That wasn’t so bad.

Jun bowed graciously. “Well done brah, see ya on da otha side, eh?”

“See ya, brah.”

Ryan ran outta there like a meerkat on the open prairie. One Elite 4 member had been vanquished rather easily. Three more remained… and then the champion. That was it; those were the only ones Ryan had left to fight. They weren’t going to be as hard as Julia or Awabi, or maybe even Ivy, he realized. He could do this. I will, he thought in determination, as he ran off towards the next door of his choosing – the one he knew it must be… for Spectre’s sake, at least.

Episode 41: Nuuh, Nowy Tends

There was nothing especially notable about Bruno, except for, maybe, his giant Onix. He sat there on the other side of the stage, staring at Ryan with the determination of a true warrior. He had rough, spiky hair, tan skin, and a body covered in well-oiled muscles; he wore only the bottom half of a yellowed gi and his belt was black. When he saw the belt, Ryan got a flash of déjà vu, but alas, he didn’t know why. The room was a dusty one, with a large rectangular area cut in the stone floor to produce a fighting stage. Plump rocks and boulders surrounded the stage on the two sides not reserved for challenger and foe.

The second Elite 4 member’s Onix was already out. Not the giant, the boy knew. It growled and shook its tail. “Mega Drain, Spectre!”

“Gengar!” the Gengar did say. He shot forward like a punctured balloon and raced around the Onix with arrogant speed. When the Onix looked right, Gengar shot left, and when the Rock Snake Pokémon spun around to the left, he dove down the back of the hulking beast, whooping and having a grand old time.

“Keep your head on straight, Spectre!” the boy called. “Focus!”

“Gengar geng!” The Mega Drain shot from the Ghost Pokémon, and Onix was wrapped in grass type energy-sucking tendrils.

A moment later, the Pokémon collapsed, and Bruno readied his second Poké Ball. “Interesting… I did not expect that. Go, Hitmonchan! Thunder Punch attack!”

“Thunderbolt!” Ryan commanded.

His Gengar flew into the air, shooting a quick bolt of lightning at Hitmonchan. The poor wee lad didn’t take that attack well, but he got up, wiped away the dust, and charged at the Gengar. Spectre was cackling extravagantly to himself when the Punching Pokémon punched him in the face. Tumbling back, Spectre got to his feet, giggled again, and flung another Thunderbolt at Hitmonchan. Bruno’s Pokémon dropped like a sack of potatoes in the Hudson River.

He doesn’t seem to be damaged too bad, Ryan observed. His Gengar was rubbing his cheek, but he didn’t seem to be too weary or upset about the hit. This is going better than expected. The boy felt a little giddy now, felt the heat rising in his stomach. He saw a Hitmonlee follow the fallen Hitmonchan and gave his Gengar a familiar command.

“Hmmm, it appears my Pokémon has no moves that can hit your Gengar, so I’ll use Double Team!” the man shouted. He was still sitting on the floor for some reason. He’s like a little kid playing in the dirt.

Hitmonlee was hit by a burst of lightning and fell over, cooked nearly as bad as Hitmonchan. I’ve met Bruno before, Ryan thought. I can’t remember where, though… When the Kicking Pokémon stood up, he ran about a bit, looking as lost as a child of the stars (a starchild, if you will).

“Double Team raises the evasiveness of the performing Pokémon by roughly one stage,” Dex droned when the boy pointed the device at Hitmonlee.

“Dang,” Ryan muttered under his breath. “That sounds like game mechanics, and that means we’re all part of the simulation…” While brooding over how to stop being a simulation, Ryan eyed the still-alive Hitmonlee. “Why did he do that? He’s just prolonging the battle.” The boy eyed Bruno coldly. “Alright, Spectre, it’s time we blew this joint! Thunderbolt!”

There were five Hitmonlee on the stage – four illusions, courtesy of Double Team, and one real, nearly-KO’d Hitmonlee. Gengar kept flying around, shooting Thunderbolts while Bruno called for more than one additional Double Team. Using banned moves dude, really? Suffice to say, the battle went on for a while, because Spectre couldn’t find the real Hitmonlee. But this was only a stall method. Eventually, Gengar’s luck would reward him.

And it did.

Landing hard, the Gengar caught his breath and wiped the sweat from his eyes. The real Hitmonlee had collapsed in a soundless spasm ahead, as the electricity snaked across his body and drained the last of his energy.

“Good work, Spectre!”

“Gengar… geng…!” the Pokémon panted.

Up next was another Onix. It ran into the same problem as the first one. Restoring his health (all of the health that Hitmonchan had taken with that weak Thunder Punch of his) from the leeched energy, Spectre stood up and whooped like an amateur whooper. Grinning and taunting the sitting Bruno, Spectre awaited the fifth and final Pokémon this Elite 4 member would use.

“This Gengar is powerful.” Bruno’s voice was like a rock slide. “And, unfortunately, it appears my Machamp only knows Fighting moves…”

“Oh.” Ryan bit his lip coyly. “I guess that means I made a good decision leading with Gengar!”

“Yes, you did.”

“Hypnosis!” Ryan urged his Spectre.

“Leer attack, Machamp!” Bruno said lamely. That’s why you always pack a coverage move or two.

Ryan’s Gengar put that bad boy to sleep real quick, before Machamp could embarrass himself with that Leer move. It took only three more Thunderbolts to fell that four-armed freak show. I still can’t believe the Pokédex entry on Machamp… and I bet Alex can’t either.

Bruno stood up sharply and gave Ryan a bow. “My job is done! Go face your next challenge!”

“Okay, okay, jeez!” Ryan replied. “You don’t have to yell, man!”

Bruno closed his eyes and did that little nod like they do in the Pokémon anime all the time. “Hmm. Yes, you have shown a lot of skill, Ryan. Tell me, how many of the other Elite 4 members have you defeated already?”

Ryan returned Spectre (giving him loads of praise that I can’t even begin to get into in this chapter). “Just one, but I swept him too.”

Bruno’s mouth contorted in a small smile. “Very good. You’ll find the girls to be a bit more of a challenge, I think.”

“The girls?”

“You’ll see.”

Ryan shivered and ran out of there. He couldn’t stand Bruno’s company for even thirteen more seconds.


His first Hypnosis missed. The second one didn’t. “Return, Dewgong!” Prima’s voice echoed in that ice castle that was their stage. Ryan hated it. He was shivering, his hoodie wrapped up over his head like he was a used bagel. How can she be cool with it being this cold? Seriously, this is taking the love of ice too far! “Go, Cloyster!”

Ryan’s breath was frosting in front of his face. Dewgong was the Pokémon she used against me before the tournament. She nearly took out Thurnax… I gotta be careful. He rubbed his hands together and cried, “Thunderbolt it, boy!” That move’s done some serious damage to my Cloyster. This has to work.

Cloyster came flying into the stage just to get a zap bolt to the face. Falling over, the snot-rock moaned, “Ster…” and did not say another word.

One down. Excellent. I’ve only had to use one PP restore for Gengar. Still got all the other potions. If this goes well, I should be good to face the champion at full strength… Prima’s next Pokémon was a sturdy-looking Slowbro. Spectre hit it good with a Thunderbolt that you just gotta know did a ton of damage. But when Prima ordered her dumb-looking ‘mon to use a Thunder Wave (which it performed to perfection, much to Ryan’s chagrin), the blue-haired boy knew Spectre’s run was over. A paralyzed quickboy is a dead quickboy.

“Go, NaVorro!”

“Amnesia, Slowbro,” the tall woman commanded. Ryan glanced a moment too long at her before shaking his head and returning his eyes to the battle on ice. Gotta stay focused.

“What’s Amnesia…?” Ryan started to ask when NaVorro’s ball went flying towards the stage. When the Bull Pokémon appeared out of the swirling light, he was hit by a powerful purple Psychic attack that knocked him back, skidding across the ice into an ice wall, cracking it.

“It raises Slowbro’s special attack. Makes him a lot more powerful,” the woman shouted across the stage. “You may as well give up, Ryan! It’s over.”

That’s what you thought last time, too. Well, my Tauros is definitely faster than your Slowbro, so this isn’t over yet. “Body Slam that fat blob of bubblegum, NaVorro!” the boy begged.

NaVorro was in a generous mood, so he granted Ryan that one sweet sight. Slowbro got absolutely wrecked when NaVorro used his body to slam him down. The ice beneath the stage cracked and split, sending jagged spears of frozen water sailing into the air. Ryan’s breath puffed and puffed and puffed in front of his reddening nose.

Slowbro stood up and smiled slightly, its eyes crossed. “Psychic!” its owner spoke.

And so did NaVorro fall. Rest in pieces, dude. So there goes my first max revive… “Myrrah, I choose you!” the boy said.

Now it was his Cloyster’s turn to enter the ice stage. How you like them napples, brah?

“A Cloyster, really?” Prima laughed in disbelief. “Why?”

“I don’t have any Pokémon or moves that specifically counter Ice Pokémon, and I don’t know what remaining Pokémon you have, so there!” the boy recited very politely. That’s not true at all. I have Aegon if this goes wrong. Dragonflame melts ice any day. “Now, Cloyster, use Hyper Beam!”

“Cloyster, cloyster cloyster cloyster cloyster. Cloy cloy cloy ster cloyster,” replied Myrrah. She started charging up white energy above her head. Yeah, that’s right. I’m gonna have every one of my Pokémon use Hyper Beam before this is over!

“Psychic!” Prima’s said that quickly. She’s nervous about Myrrah’s potential strength. That’s cuz she’s an ice expert. She can tell my Cloyster’s a balla.

Myrrah was faster too, apparently, for her attack was ready to fire long before the silly Slowbro’s (man he’s real slow). Ryan had seen this move done a hundred times before, and only a few times it had missed. Luckily it didn’t miss this time, since we all know Myrrah needs to get a good victory. After all, she’s the only one of Ryan’s Pokémon who hasn’t swept a team in the Indigo League yet.

Slowbro landed hard on the ice, cracking it some more.

“Return Slowbro!” Prima said, lowering one Poké Ball, and raising another with her other hand. Throwing it, she said sternly, “Take out that Cloyster, Jynx!”

The memories came flooding back so quickly, that for a single moment of clarity, he remembered everything. He knew everything. And then, he lost it again, like tumbling snow in a storm, and the boy was left more confused than a Confuse Ray-ravaged Slowbro. What the heck just happened? What was that?

“Give your Pokémon an order!” Prima’s authoritative voice broke Ryan out of his thoughts.

“Huh?”

“Did you space out or something? Have your Cloyster perform its move, or I’ll be forced to start a disqualification timer!”

“What?! How long was I out for?” the boy asked, rubbing his forehead.

“Three minutes at least.”

“Three minutes?! No way! That was just a few seconds.”

Prima rolled her eyes. “I don’t have all day, Ryan.”

That’s so weird. “Fine, fine… Myrrah, try Blizzard.”

Ryan’s Cloyster was shooting forward, conjuring up a mess of cold, icy wind and hail. On the other side, Jynx stood calm as a Tuesday Spearow. Please hit. You can do it, Myrrah! This is your time to shine.

And so it was. Ryan didn’t know if it was the ice stage, luck, or the incoherent musings of Larry David, but somehow, Myrrah’s Blizzard did a lot of damage to Jynx… like way more than an ice move should do to an Ice Pokémon. But it did – Ryan saw it with his own two eyes. I think that’s the first crit I’ve ever seen her land… ever. She never even landed one against a wild Pokémon! And, when the snow winds cleared, it became apparent than Jynx had been frozen in ice as well.

It was glorious, but not as glorious as the Hyper Beam Myrrah unleashed upon her foe. “Get hype! That’s right, baby, the hype is real!” Ryan shouted passionately at no one in particular, his voice bouncing around the ice like a ping pong ball.

Jynx was thrown from the ice cube she had been stuck inside of, to the far side of the stage. There she slid for a good while (at least several country miles, I’m told) until coming to a stop at Prima’s feet. The woman studied him for a moment, and all he could focus on was her thick red hair cascading down the back of her scalp like some kind of bloody waterfall.

“Dewgong,” she said, her voice echoing around the ice castle. “Go. And wake up soon!”

I sure hope not. “Blizzard time!”

First there was one Blizzard, then a second Blizzard, and then a third portion of Blizzard. It was like elevensies, only with custard pies instead of wild apples. Then, Dewgong woke up. And what did those beady little eyes of his first behold upon their grand re-awakening? Why, the light of a third Hyper Beam. Ryan was sure the Sea Lion Pokémon didn’t have time to scream. Dewgong fell over, flopping about, and was defeated.

“This is a Hyper Beam miracle!” Ryan bellowed. “How are you sweeping them, Myrrah? You’re so slow! You’re not meant to sweep in this gen!”

“Cloyster,” Myrrah agreed.

Prima’s last Pokémon was a Lapras. It was a fearsome-looking specimen, a proper Nessie if Ryan ever saw one. Blimey, he thought, this is one of the worst possible Pokémon for Myrrah to try to finish the sweep against. Prima knew that as well. She was confident. She should be.

“Body Slam!”

“Blizzard!”

The Lapras strutted itself forward before slamming its body on poor little Myrrah. She was just a poor innocent bystander in a shell. She impacted into a crater of ice on the ground with Lapras above her, the weight of the other Pokémon straining down on the already-cracked ice…

When the ice burst, it wasn’t like King Stannis luring the Freys out onto the frozen lake. No sir, this was more like an air horn being sounded in a clown car. Ryan shuddered, watching the ice-cold water fly into the air and spray him. Chips of ice floated in the churning artificial lake, bobbing like corks on the high seas, and Lapras and Cloyster were nowhere to be seen.

“Man, that’s some cold lotion!” Ryan whined, trying to dry himself off with his hoodie. “Why’s the stage gotta have a secret lake underneath it?”

Prima shrugged, bored. And then a light, as pale blue as an Antarctican iceberg, flared up from under the spinning waters, and Lapras came sailing up through the air riding a water tornado of ice and snow winds. Great work, girl. You never gave up.

The two Ice Pokémon were floating in the water, on opposite sides from one another, completely unaffected by the cold. “Hydro Pump!” Prima said.

“Clamp!”

That Hydro Pump missed, y’know, to preserve the sweep. But that Clamp, oh that Clamp, it hit like a freight train outta Tennessee. First clampin’ down was a crit if Ryan even had eyes. Man, she’s got a hard bite. And then, she did three more bites. Lapras came away from that in extremely poor spirits, looking as slumped-over as a mango tree in gravel mix.

“Hydro Pump!” Prima shouted again, not giving up.

“Hyper Beam yo!!” Ryan yelled. “Get hype 2k16!”

The Hydro Pump hit first. It was like getting a hose-ful of water to the face at a decent pace – it didn’t look so painful to Ryan. But alas, Myrrah fell away coughing up bits of ice, and her Hyper Beam missed. Oh come on, Myrrah. This is supposed to be a sweep!

Thus, the two Pokémon regrouped and unleashed their attacks upon one another again. Hydro Pump hit again, doing devastating damage to the flying Cloyster. She’s done, Ryan thought. Now I’ll have to bring out Aegon. I didn’t want to have to do that. He reached for the Charizard’s Poké Ball when Myrrah let out a powerful cry:

“Cloy cloy!” The Hyper Beam above her head was growing mighty big in Ryan’s eyes, as big as one of Thurnax’s.

She didn’t miss this time. “That’s it, Myrrah, show ‘em the hype!”

“Cloyster!”

Lapras took the energy to the neck and sunk into the water shrieking. Well, there it is. Prima recalled her Pokémon, and Ryan recalled his, and they stood there, separated by the churning lake. That’s three. These Elite 4 masters aren’t as powerful as I thought they would be…

“You're better than I thought! Go on ahead! You only got a taste of Pokémon League power!” Prima said, shaking her fist at the sky.

“Wow, what was that for?”

“Nevermind,” she replied, wiping at the corners of her mouth with a maroon napkin. “Good work, either way. And good luck, Ryan.”

“Thanks.” Yeah, how’d you like that Ice Pokémon sweep against the supposed Ice Pokémon Master, huh? He felt a warm feeling climbing up his throat and had to swallow to quell it.

“You know,” she said, as the boy turned to leave, “the Elite 4 is not meant to defeat the Indigo League Winner… if the Winner is worthy. We are only here to make sure the champion’s next challenger is a worthy opponent. That is why we fight with five Pokémon against your six. We want to make sure you’re good enough to be our next master.”

“Well, am I?”

She smirked at last, her icy shell cracking like an ice cube in July. “You wouldn’t get any complaints from me, kid.”

Kid? Again?! Alas, this cruel world, the boy thought, as he ran out of there, a tingling feeling wrapping around his body. He didn’t feel cold. No, he was warm. Quite warm. The strain on his mind had broken, and now Ryan felt a rush of happiness for the first time since beating Julia. I beat three Elite 4 members, and none of the battles were very close. They can’t take that away from me, at least. If I don’t make it any further…

He cleared his thoughts. No. I will beat the last Elite 4 member. I know I will. She should be the easiest one yet. I have just the Pokémon for her puny ghosts.


There was only one answer to a Ghost Pokémon in Ryan’s mind – a Psychic Pokémon. Ghost Pokémon were supposed to be super effective against Alakazam and his peeps, but that’s not how the real world works. Workin’ the streets, Ryan had learned the simple truth of the matter: Psychic beats Ghost any day of the week. Thinking a Ghost Pokémon is gonna do anything against a Psychic one is like thinking it’s possible for Derny Sandcastle to find enough Meowth on Route 8 to finance his grand Payday scheme and make Pokémon Daycare free for everyone.

She lived in a spooky home with ghost sounds, a fog machine, and half a spooky mansion jutting out of the wall. That’s wild, thought Ryan, there’s a mansion inside the mansion.

“Hello Ryan.” Sydney’s voice drifted on by like vapor and steam. “I never thought I would see you again, least of all here.”

“Yeah, thanks,” Ryan said, scratching the back of his head. He felt his ears going red. She was so pretty in that thick velvet coat of hers. It was indigo and black and seemed opaque and sparkly with all the fog and wind swirling around. “Yo Sydney, you never told me you were one of the Elite 4.”

“You haven’t met my aunt, have you?” Sydney asked. “Her name is Agatha.”

“Never heard of her.”

“Oh, okay.” What’s she going on about? “Are you ready to fight?” she asked. “You know that I fight with five Pokémon, and–”

“Yeah, yeah, I heard that all before… three times already! I get it, you’re supposed to test me, but your Pokémon aren’t too strong. You want me to be a good challenge for the champion, and you wanna make sure it’s worth his time, yada yada yada.”

“No, that’s not it at all.” Sydney’s dark eyes flashed. “I want to beat you. I want this to be your last stop. I’ll defend my honor and do my best to make sure no challengers reach my master.”

“Okay, that’s a little weird. You should definitely be on my side.”

“Are you ready to battle?” she asked coldly.

“I think so.”

“Go, Gengar.”

“Yip yip, it’s Zam Zam time!” I’ve been waiting so long to bust you outta that ball, buddy.

“Gengar, use Confuse Ray!”

“Alakazam, it’s Psychic time!”

“Zam!” the Psi Pokémon grunted in understanding. He shot off, around the creepy leafless trees and rolling mist and all that spooky jive. He was quite fast in Ryan’s estimation, even faster than he had been against Starmie. I bet he leveled up from beating Julia. The Psychic came coolly to Alakazam’s spoons, as wide as it was tall. Gengar was going to make her move when the attack washed over her, sending her to the floor.

That’s one. The Elites should be just about to–

“Go, Golbat!”

“Psychic!”

Down that scary-lookin bat went; Ryan knew there was not an ounce of Ghost Pokémon in that Golbat’s DNA. It was okay, everyone makes mistakes, even an Elite 4 member. But Ryan wasn’t going to get mad at her for using completely non-Ghost Pokémon, because after all, as far as he (or anyone else) knew, Ghastly, Gengar, and Haunter were the only Ghost Pokémon in the world. You can’t have a team of five Gengar!

Then came a Nidoqueen. We already have a Poison Pokémon specialist, Ryan thought angrily. His name is Koga and he screams like a girl. Nidoqueen took the first Psychic poorly, flying across the stage to slam into the base of the mansion (and bust more than a few of the porch’s lovely boards). But she didn’t get KO’d. Uh oh. Playtime’s over.

“Toxic!” he heard Sydney shout.

Come on 85% accuracy, Ryan prayed. But when the toxic slop that Nidoqueen spit all over Alakazam started to drip caustically onto the floor, Ryan thought, I’ll have to use a Full Heal on him when we’re done. That’s 3000 Poké Dollars right there. Alakazam groaned in pain as he was damaged slightly. One more Psychic was all it took to down Sydney’s third Pokémon.

“Go, Arbok!”

“Psychic.”

Ouch. Look at all these OHKOs, Ryan thought carelessly. I sense another sweep coming on! Sydney’s last Pokémon was another Gengar. She did it. She put two Ghost Pokémon on her team. That’s an impressive number for a Ghost Pokémon specialist.

“Psychic!” He sounded too dour when he shouted that one. Easy big fella. Hold back a little.

“Psychic!” Sydney repeated desperately, but it was no use. Ryan’s Alakazam was faster. That’s right, Sydney. I’m a Psychic Specialist. I’m a Pokémon god. You gotta love that. Right? Chicks dig Pokémon Masters, right?

Gengar was pushed back a bit, and he looked to be quite damaged, but he hadn’t been so damaged as Nidoqueen. This is her best Pokémon. This is her best shot at stopping the sweep. Ryan knew that Gengar was a great Pokémon, a wonderful Pokémon, a beautiful Pokémon who should not know a single ghost move. Any good Gengar would have four non-Ghost Pokémon type moves, just like Spectre. And thus was that the case with this Gengar.

The Psychic hit Alakazam to the floor, doing a lot of damage. But if there was a move Alakazam was prepared for, it was that one. His natural resistance to the psychic type Psychic crushed Sydney’s last chance to save her honor. Then, Nidoqueen’s Toxic ravaged the Psi Pokémon. He was losing health fast. He looked tired. “H-hey, Zamboy, you there?”

“Kazam.” The Alakazam rolled over to face his master.

“Good.”

“Zam, zam.”

“Don’t forget about the sweep, boy.”

“Zam.”

“You’re one hit away from getting two on the house, Alakazam! Go out there and do it… for the sweep,” Ryan whispered majestically. “Come on, boy. Everyone likes a good sweep. Lots of people paid good money to be here! Give ‘em a memory worth remembering.”

“Alakazam.”

Alakazam stood up, brushed the fog from his shoulders and shot Gengar point-blank with another Psychic. Gengar fell over, unconscious.

“Well done,” said Sydney softly. She recalled her vanquished ‘mon, and looked down at the boy. “You’ve done well beating me. I am the strongest Pokémon Master in the Elite 4.

“It showed,” he nodded.

She gave him an ireful gaze. Oh snap, she caught me. “Anyways, good luck out there. I didn’t think when we met in Lavender Town that you could be the next Indigo League Champion… I still remember how you and Charmeleon caught a Haunter…”

“Ahem, now Charizard and Gengar, thank you very much,” Ryan interjected.

Sydney nodded happily. “Indeed. Well, if you end up as my new boss, that’s cool with me.”

Supercool. “Ye-yeah… okay. Thank you!”

“Ryan.”

“Yeah?”

She held up her hand. The door behind Ryan opened on its own. “I wish you good fortune in the wars to come.”

“Thank you, Sydney. Ghost busta peace out,” the boy said rambunctiously, making some really gangsta peace signs for the room.

As he did with the other Elite 4 members, Ryan suddenly burst into a full-on sprint on his way out of Sydney’s room to avoid any more awkward tension. That’s my kind of lady. Her and Prima. Bruno was right.


The halls were quiet, cold, and smelled of aging mildew. A few torches lit the way, giving everything a medieval feel. I have two Max Revives, and one Full Restore left. I’ve used up all the PP restores and cheaper health potions. Alakazam and Spectre are both damaged, though. It was the ultimate question: heal Gengar, getting back that super fast sleep inducer, or Alakazam, his stalwart special attacker, who was even faster than Gengar and packed more of an offensive punch? A paralyzed Gengar is a useless Gengar. But a poisoned Alakazam won’t last long either.

This decision had become more difficult after the past few battles. Spectre had swept Bruno’s entire team effortlessly and had put a really good effort in against Prima. And Alakazam swept for the second time and won a fourth match for me just by himself.

Ryan was musing this lightly (let’s be real, he knew who he was gonna pick) when he paused. At the fountain in the center of the great hall sat a man. He was not a very old man, but he wore jeans and a dark shirt. The hat on his head was old, faded, red and white and green. An official Pokémon League hat. Wow, those things are super rare. The man’s black hair was bushy and wild; his face was youthful and familiar. He was sitting there casually, and when he heard Ryan’s footsteps coming from behind him, he spun about to take a look at the kid who would be challenging him for the title of Indigo League Champion.

“Hey Ryan,” Ash said cheerfully, albeit slightly muted. He looked a bit tired. I would have never guessed he was the Kanto Champion. He never brought it up, either. That’s very weird. But I guess the position does suit him.

“That’s it? Aren’t you a little surprised that I got this far? Me?!” he emphasized. I helped you get rid of Team Rocket in Pallet Town. You gave me one of your Tauros!

“Nope,” the young man replied. “The Elite 4 may not be allowed to watch the matches, but I sure did. I watched every one of ‘em, including the ones you had against Jun and Bruno and Prima and Sydney today.”

“Oh.”

“Pretty impressive stuff,” Ash smiled. He was drinking something from a paper cup that gave off a vaguely fruity odor. “You’ve trained your Pokémon really well. It shows. Especially your Tauros! He looks nice and strong.”

“Oh, thanks.”

“And you have a Dragonite. That’s awesome, Ryan. I’m looking forward to fighting against it.”

“I’m looking forward to that too… but first, I have to heal my Pokémon,” Ryan explained.

Ash nodded and Ryan took a seat on the fountain’s edge, pulling off his backpack. “I can tell you’ve formed a real strong bond with your Alakazam.”

“Huh?” Ryan looked up. His Alakazam was lying on the edge of the fountain, splayed out like a corpse, groaning softly in pain. The teal-haired boy stood over him with a Full Restore spray can in hand.

“I know what it’s like to be that close with my Pokémon.” Suddenly, a yellow blur blew past Ryan, and a Pikachu jumped onto Ash’s shoulder. It was an old Pikachu, but a shrewd-eyed one, and one that Ryan had met more than once before. “Pikachu and I are best friends.”

“I know what you mean,” Ryan said as he blasted Alakazam in the face with the Full Restore. This reminded Ryan of one time when he’d been a real young lad and had gone over to his friend’s house and somehow managed to blast a girl in the face with a few squirts of Windex. It was a crazy, high-stakes memory, and not one that he wanted to relive here. Alakazam seemed to be taking the healing squirts about as well as that girl had for a few moments (he rolled about in heavy tantrum), and then, like a light being flicked on, he sat up, yawned, and started to snooze lightly in calm pleasure.

“Whenever you’re ready,” Ash said, eyeing the other trainer. He cracked his neck and pulled out a Poké Ball from his jacket pocket. “Whaddya say Ryan… why don’t we test out our Tauros against each other? See who’s stronger?”

NaVorro is. “Yeah, let’s go!” Ryan replied, rising. He left Alakazam out of his Poké Ball, instead choosing a different one from his backpack.

Ash ran down the spacious stone chamber to a far wall. “Same rules as the previous rounds. Remember, your Gengar can only try to put one of my Pokémon to sleep.” So he really did watch all the battles. He should know everything about my team.

“Sounds good to me.” I won’t have access to a fast Spectre, but everyone else is at full health. I’m broke, and I’ve used up all the potions I could… but I’ve got my team, so I’ve got a chance. We worked so hard to get here. This won’t end in disappointment. I swear it won’t.

Ryan’s gaze fell to NaVorro’s ball. It’s strange, not having a crowd. It makes this seem so personal, so insignificant. Perhaps that was the case, but as the boy threw his Poké Ball and took a deep breath, he maintained focus on the fact that this was the most important Pokémon battle in his entire life. I may never be in this position again. This very well may be my peak.

His heart was pounding like an angry drum. The boy felt his oldest friend (aka Dr. Anxiety) returning to him, like poison spreading through his veins. Ryan closed his eyes and thought, it’s me or him. One of us must win. It has to be that way. This is the end of the road.

His eyes opened, and he saw before him two Tauros, ready to do battle. The final bout, with the title of Indigo League Champion on the line, was just about to begin, and neither Ryan nor Ash was going to back down. As it should be, the boy thought, sucking in a breath. I’ll beat him with everything I’ve got.

Episode 42: A Moment Of Triumph

Note: this fight can also be viewed as a Pokémon Showdown replay here.

(Cue Pokémon, I Choose You!)

“Body Slam, NaVorro!”

“Take down!”

Their Pokémon ran at one another, flinging themselves wildly for their masters’ sakes. Ash’s Tauros is faster, Ryan noticed. That’s not good. Ash’s bashed Ryan’s back, sending NaVorro skidding into the side of the fountain. Their feet echoed off the marble floors; in the dim light, Ryan could see Ash standing on the other side of the room, calling out commands like he’d done this for at least sixteen years. There was an aura about the champion, a professional confidence that Ryan knew he did not have.

Ryan’s heart was racing. Now it was NaVorro’s turn. He held his breath as his Bull Pokémon ran forward, flinging himself awkwardly onto the other Tauros. They both fell over, writhing in pain. Dang, I can’t tell who has the edge. “NaVorro, use Blizzard!”

“Aheeaaah!” the Tauros huffed, standing.

“Fissure, Tauros!” Ash cried.

“Fissure? What’s that?” Ryan muttered himself, pulling out Dexy baby, but it was too late. The ground shook; dust streamed from the sixty-foot ceiling, and the water in the fountain rippled and bubbled. NaVorro wobbled violently as the invisible energy shaking the floor climbed up his legs. Oh no. Ryan’s Pokémon roared out in pain and collapsed, even as the rumbling continued on around him.

“Yes! Great job Tauros!” Ash said cheerfully. “Looks like mine’s better than yours, Ryan.”

How did he take out NaVorro so quickly? Ryan’s Tauros hadn’t appeared to be significantly injured. I can see why only 5% of the Indigo League Winners become champions… this is crazy! He also knew that Ash’s Tauros was fast. That wasn’t just because it had attacked before NaVorro; he’d seen it with his own eyes. I don’t think any Pokémon I faced in the tournament moved that fast. That left our young protagonist only one option: “Go, Alakazam!”

“Take Down!” Ash shouted again.

“Psychic!” Ryan urged his fragile Psi Pokémon. Please be faster… you can’t take a hit from this monster.

“Kazam!” Alakazam bellowed passionately, jumping forward to face his foe.

There was the charging bull, like a bully in a china shop, running down the stage towards Ryan’s Psychic Pokémon. But Alakazam was faster. Ryan realized that at once. His Pokémon moved faster than Ash’s Tauros. In between his hands, a purple ball of energy was growing and elongating out into a beam. The Tauros was screaming forward as fast as it could, but it didn’t matter – Alakazam’s attack was faster. His Psychic hit Ash’s Pokémon with such ferocity that the Tauros dropped like it had suddenly lost control in its legs. Landing hard on the cold marble, the Tauros seemed to be unconscious. Ash recalled it quickly.

Ryan punched the air with glee. “Broken hearts, make it rain!”

We’re even again… though, with Spectre still paralyzed… He knew his Gengar was essentially already KO’d; if that was the case, and he only had four Pokémon left to rely on, to Ash’s five…

The air burst with white light as Ash’s second Pokémon emerged: a hulking, sleepy Snorlax. He’s got some really good Pokémon. And this is like the worst matchup for Alakazam. Ryan knew that, as any good trainer would. Snorlax was too bulky, too physically powerful. The lanky-quick Alakazam couldn’t absorb any punishment from such a beast. But I know who can.

“Myrrah, it’s your turn!”

“Cloyster, cloy cloy cloy!” the Cloyster replied with rambunctious spirit, as she flew from her Poké Ball.

Landing with an echoing thud, she was immediately introduced to Snorlax with a rude and quite savage Body Slam. Snorlax fell off her, breathing hard, and Cloyster looked to have sunk into a crater on the lovely marble floor, but she didn’t seem to be all that damaged when she popped up a moment later, out from her hard shell.

“Cloyster!” she screamed boldly. That’s my Myrrah.

“Blizzard, girl!”

“Hyper Beam!” came Ash’s command.

This early in the battle? But Myrrah’s not hurt all that much! Safe to say, this wasn’t the anime, so when the Hyper Beam hit, Myrrah was thrown back with great force and looked to be critically damaged – but not KO’d. Snorlax was forced to recharge the errant energy throw (which was still somehow a physical attack) and Myrrah got a free turn. She’s faster than his Snorlax. She’ll get the next two turns to herself in that case.

The Sleeping Pokémon sat in its corner (probably ashamed of itself), recharging up its Hyper Beam. Myrrah released a bunch of icicles and other assorted cold things at Snorlax, doing a significant chunk of damage to her foe in the process. But he’s still at half health or so. She can’t defeat him in one more attack. And judging by her appearance, Myrrah couldn’t survive another hit. That Hyper Beam did a ton of damage, even if it didn’t KO her. That leaves me with only one choice.

“Hyper Beam!” Ash ordered his Pokémon.

“Myrrah, use Explosion.”

“Cloy?” Myrrah asked, a little surprised. She thinks she can survive another Hyper Beam. But she’s wrong. She’s too beat-up.

“Listen to me, Myrrah! You have to! It’s the only way! Use Explosion now!”

“Cloyster.”

The Cloyster flew into the air like a Friday Farfetch’d. This time, it was she who conjured up an impressive display of white energy. Like a flaming fireball, she came to the Snorlax, landing hard on his cushiony stomach. Ryan’s heart was in his throat. The Snorlax grunted in pain, and tried to stand, in order to Hyper Beam Myrrah again. That was when Myrrah exploded, causing plumes of smoke and dust to spread through the room in a wild display. And when it all settled, and chaos briefly left the world again, Ryan could see both Pokémon lying on the ground, unconscious.

Breathing hard, he wiped his palms on his shorts and drew his next Poké Ball. 4v4. I can do this.

Ryan’s Poké Ball let loose his Charizard, the venerable King Aegon I, the First of his Name. The orange-scaled dragon flapped his wings and flew about impatiently as he awaited Ash’s own Pokémon. Ash was smiling broadly when his Poké Ball landed and released a Charizard as well.

(Cue Burning Battlefield)

“Whoa…” the boy murmured in awe. His Charizard looks super powerful. “Nice Pokémon!” Ryan shouted to Ash. But I bet mine knows a few tricks yours doesn’t.

“Thanks,” the Indigo League Champion replied. “Your Charizard doesn’t look so bad either!”

“Swords Dance!” Ryan ordered his Flame Pokémon.

“Flamethrower!” Ash told his.

Ash’s Charizard went first. He’s faster too. Jeez. I guess it shouldn’t be a surprise that Ash’s Pokémon are so strong, but dang… The Fire Pokémon unleashed a torrent of burning flames onto Aegon’s body. The Charizard weathered the attack decently, but he fell back crying all the same. Fire’s not supposed to hurt a dragon! Ryan was confused until he remembered Charizard wasn’t actually a Dragon Type (not yet, anyways).

Aegon stood up and did a little hula dance, and some magical swords appeared out of nowhere and flipped around in the air in perfect synchronization, and this was what I really call a party now. Then, the swords vanished, and that was it. And that made Aegon stronger, somehow. Pokémon can be so weird…

“Fly!” ordered Ash.

“Swords Dance!” Ryan cried desperately.

Luckily for Ryan, Ash’s move sent his Pokémon flying about during the next turn, gaining speed and altitude. In the expansive, sixty-foot-tall hall, the sight of the mature Charizard chasing the winds in all his majestic glory was breathtaking to behold. He definitely is a dragon.

Aegon spun about on the floor, doing another little dance. Man that Charizard’s got swagger. He was putting on a real show, trying to show off even, but Ryan didn’t know why. From above, the other Charizard growled loudly, puffing flames from his nose menacingly. These two must not like each other.

Suddenly, his foe’s Flame Pokémon descended from the sky with breathtaking speed, slamming into Aegon with a loud crack. Both Pokémon fell to the ground, crying out in flames of pain and surprise. Aegon stood up a moment later, shrugging off the damage. He was damaged, aye, but not done yet. He’s at half health… I think. Maybe a little less.

“Swords Dance!” Ryan ordered his Pokémon again. This is the only way to beat a faster Charizard, buddy. I hope you understand.

Though he was hurt, both physically and pride-wise, Aegon nodded, did his little balla dance, and awaited his foe’s next attack. He wants to attack; he wants to put that Charizard in its place. Well don’t worry boy, we have a surprise cooking for that Charizard! Just be a little patient.

“Flamethrower!” Ash shouted again.

The flames licked at Aegon, as hot and overbearing as Ryan had ever seen a fire attack. His Charizard cried out in pain, but did not faint. That’s it, Aegon. Perfect. “Hyper Beam, boy! Go now!”

Aegon screeched triumphantly, beating his chest in fierce battle-lust. Ash’s Charizard was panting and attempting to charge up another Flamethrower. It won’t be fast enough. Aegon took to the skies, flying as Ash’s Pokémon once had. White energy formed around his mouth. Boosted to max power. This is going to be his best Hyper Beam ever.

“Go Aegon, go! KO that Charizard!”

Aegon roared, and turned, ducking around a marble pillar that rose to the ceiling. The other Charizard had hot flames burning around its lips, and on Ash’s order, took to the skies itself, rushing up to meet Aegon with all its speed. The Pokémon charging up his Hyper Beam was ready; Ryan screamed for him to fire, and Aegon did. The Normal Type energy shot down like a burning comet in the dark sky. Ash’s Pokémon had already committed to absorb whatever punishment came its way. And so it did.

An explosion of inky smoke covered the Charizard when the Hyper Beam slammed into it. Yet a moment later, groaning loudly in frustration, the beast shot out of the ashy cloudy, bruised and weary and damaged. But not KO’d. Uh oh. This is Myrrah vs. Snorlax all over again… only Aegon’s a Snorlax without any more health.

Ash Charizard was grinning in determination as it flew up to Aegon and slammed into him, wrapping him up in its arms. Aegon struggled, but could not break free. Ash’s Charizard held on tight as he soared up into the darkness near the ceiling of the great hall, circling about, gaining speed. Ryan’s Pokémon suddenly flew down from the sky, as fast as a bullet, as if he’d been thrown, landing hard on the marble floor with a sickening crunch. The boy was forced to recall his unconscious Flame Pokémon even as Ash’s landed, beat its chest, and shot bursts of flames into the air triumphantly.

I have three Pokémon left. I have to be careful now. He’s got a huge advantage. The only way to get rid of that is… “Alakazam, go!”

Alakazam returned, threatening Ash’s Charizard with his possible speed advantage. Do Fly attack again. Give me that free turn I need. But Ash didn’t take the bait, for when Ryan immediately returned Alakazam and released Thurnax, his Dragonite, she was hit in the face with a blast of Flamethrower that did about 26% damage. Oh, thought Ryan. Well I just took a hit needlessly trying to be clever… that’s not good for my chances.

His Dragonite stood magnificently in the semi-darkness of that chamber. Ash’s Charizard eyed her suspiciously, probably wondering how its dragon-ness matched up against hers. It doesn’t. I don’t care who she’s up against. My Dragonite is my strongest Pokémon, and she’ll put up a good fight. And also, she was his best chance at a mini-sweep remaining.

(Cue Persistent Pokémon)

“Agility!”

“Fly!”

The Charizard moved faster, but not for long. As it flew, so too did Ryan’s Dragonite. The two dragons exploded through the gloomy upper reaches of the great hall, building up speed and power. On they glided, until Thurnax had become faster. Then, Ryan ordered her to use a Surf that somehow missed because she had become faster. As to why the attack missed, well Charizard was still performing its Fly attack, which apparently made it invulnerable until after it attacked, which is just a terrible idea and garbage game design. But that’s how it went, so Charizard had a clear path to Thurnax. Though she flew about gracefully with breathtaking agility, Charizard’s speed was nothing to sneeze at either. It didn’t take it long to spin between a few marble columns and overtake Thurnax, hitting her hard with its wing.

They tumbled to the ground, hitting it hard, but both of the prideful beasts immediately jumped up again. Thurnax is more cream than orange; Charizard is more blood than rust. Thurnax was at at least half health still…and she was faster than Charizard now. He’d learned that after the last turn.

“Surf!”

Thurnax rode that wave (so to speak) all the way over to Charizard, gushing it in her super wet water attack. Charizard cried out, the flame on its tail shrinking to the size of a single candle. The noble warrior fell over, and Ash instantly recalled it. Okay, that’s good. That was a good one to get out of the way. Now I just need to take out three more. He hoped Thurnax could survive at least one more foe on her own.

The next Pokémon Ash released was a Bulbasaur. “Saur, bulba?” Ryan asked, confused. “‘Eyy brah, why you do that?!” he asked next, now shifting his tone to a more Jun-Baba-o-influenced delivery.

“Bulbasaur’s one of my strongest Pokémon! He never wanted to evolve, but don’t let that fool you. He’s powerful!” Ash said.

He’s a Grass Pokémon. Dragon Pokémon resist Grass Pokémon. And no matter how strong he is, Thurnax has to be faster.

“Wrap!”

“Razor Leaf!”

Thurnax was indeed faster, and it was her blinding-fast movement that led her over to Bulbasaur, startling it, allowing her to Wrap it up with five squeezes. Bulbasaur was getting worn down by each squeeze to a significant degree. Your Bulbasaur doesn’t seem to be that strong…

Thurnax got two more squeezes in on another Wrap before flying back on Ryan’s command. Now, Bulbasaur stood, breathing hard, one eye shut in pain. It was covered in dust and bruises. It’s ready for a Hyper Beam. Ryan didn’t know why he had such a flair for the dramatic, but if Hyper Beam was as reliable as Wrap, he’d rather go with Hyper Beam, which would result in a much more showy end to Bulbasaur’s battle.

But it didn’t. Thurnax got all dramatic and flew around and was preparing for the day that this would come out on DVD and people could watch it, so she was putting on a show for the audience of the future. And then she landed, fired her final beam, and missed. And then Bulbasaur flung its vines at her with the Vine Whip move and did almost no damage, because Thurnax’s a true dragon.

The next Hyper Beam was clean, sterile, devoid of any spotlight status. But it hit, and Bulbasaur did not take the attack well. The Seed Pokémon collapsed and was recalled. That’s it, Ryan thought. Yes! I finally have the lead. He has only two Pokémon left. I have three. I can do this.

Standing now before his Dragonite was a tall Blastoise wearing a sharp pair of black sunglasses in the dim-lit room. He’s got swag, yo. For a second, Ryan paused, drew a breath, and realized that his heart was beating super fast. He felt a little lightheaded. He swallowed, trying to clear his thoughts. It’s okay, just be calm. I got this.

“Wrap!”

“Hydro Pump, Blastoise!” Ash called out.

Dragonite was far faster. She wrapped herself around that Blastoise, squeezing her tail and draining the energy from him like a proper warrior goddess. She wrapped him up a lot. Each Wrap didn’t do that much, but she did a lot of them: eleven squeezes on four Wraps in total, bringing Blastoise’s health down significantly. Not gonna lie, there was a miss in there at some point, and Blastoise used Tackle… and it didn’t do much to Dragonite. The big old Turtle Pokémon lumbered over to Thurnax and bounced off of her with a pathetic showcase that’s barely worth recounting here. Anyways, Thurnax’s foe had to be weak by this point, in Ryan’s estimation, so he next ordered her to finish the Blastoise off with a Hyper Beam.

He thought that would do a lot of damage – probably KO the Blastoise – and it did. But it didn’t KO Blastoise, so once again, Ryan was let down by his ‘get hype’ move of yesterbattles. Twice now, but Thurnax may survive.

Blastoise performed another Tackle, doing minimal damage yet again. Thurnax got up from that attack, brushed herself off, and looked ready to get down to business again. Unfortunately, this was not the anime, so she had to spend a turn recharging her Hyper Beam, which had drained her energy so.

Ash was determined to win. “Hydro Pump!”

The attack hit, washing over Ryan’s Dragonite as she recharged. Crying out in pain, she went flying back on the rushing whitewash tides over the black marble, before crashing into the base of one of the pillars. Cracking it though she did (let’s hope it’s not a load-bearing pillar), Thurnax stood up afterwards, shaking the water from her skin, and looked determined to win. She already had another Hyper Beam charging up in her mouth. She’s taken a lot of damage over time by attrition, I guess. Most of it came from that scary Charizard. But that Hydro Pump did do pretty good damage either way. She won’t survive many more hits like that.

The next Hyper Beam didn’t miss. Thurnax felled her worthy opponent and landed with tired care on the marble floor, in front of Ryan, awaiting the next challenger. His last Pokémon. Ryan’s cheeks flushed. He could taste victory. Easy now. Don’t get too cocky. Stay focused.

“You took out the three starters!” Ryan shouted to Thurnax, trying to keep her spirits up. “Just one more, girl!”

“Neiaahahieieieieiahahhahahaheeie ahaheihaahaheieahahh nehahaiahaaaaaheieieieiahahh!” Thurnax said in response. She sounded tired and hurt.

Ash’s stood there silently, his arms folded, his head bowed. His hat was on backwards now. His Pikachu stood on his shoulder, loyal to the end. And Ash had a smirk on his face. “Do you know what the four types are that Dragon Type Pokémon resist, Ryan?”

“What?”

“The four types that Dragon Type Pokémon resist? Fire. Water. Grass. Electric. That’s funny,” the champion continued. “Alright, Pikachu. It’s your turn now.”

(Cue Pokémon Theme)

“Pika… chu!!” the Pikachu shouted with leal care, jumping from its master to bound onto the stage.

Thurnax lorded over the small mouse like a queen to a peasant. “Quick Attack!” Ash commanded.

“Wrap!”

Pikachu came flying across Thurnax’s field of view, hitting her so hard that the Dragon Pokémon fell back in pain, and was only barely able to get up after that. That Pikachu’s insanely powerful. How is it faster than Thurnax? And it nearly KO’d her just now… that’s unbelievable!

Thurnax’s Wrap came next. She wrapped the tiny yellow rodent up in her tail and squeezed it one time, and then a second, and then a third. With every squeeze of the ensnaring Wrap, Pikachu cried out in severe pain. It has to be hurt pretty bad. One more Surf could end it… I don’t want to risk the accuracy factor of Hyper Beam now.

So he yelled, “Surf!”

And Thurnax unwrapped Pikachu, throwing it to the other side of the stage. Then, she Surfed all the way over to Pikachu, dousing it in the same waters that had felled Ash’s Charizard. The whole area was now drenched in water, from the Dragonite’s feet to the crumpled figure of the Pikachu in the distance.

He heard Ash shout, “Thunderbolt!”

Pikachu struggled up to its knees, conjuring electrical energy in its paw. Then, it shot the bolts of lightning down the water, briefly illuminating the world in strobing yellow-and-white light. The electricity snaked about the room, racing across the water until it found Thurnax. And when all that electricity conducted by water hit the wounded Dragonite, it was all she could do to fall over unconscious with a little dignity.

Ryan stood there in awe. I thought his other Pokémon were crazy powerful… but this little Pikachu is insane. I can’t believe it KO’d Thurnax. Like, how is that even possible?! Ryan took a deep breath. He had to focus. There was only one Pokémon he could send out against that electric rodent. He knew that much. If you fail, buddy, I’ve lost. Spectre’s paralyzed. He can’t hope to outduel this insane Pikachu.

“Alakazam,” Alakazam said nobly as he exited his ball once again. Standing against the Pikachu, he surveyed his opponent and said, “Zam, zam. Alakazam!”

Hopefully you’re faster and more powerful… “Alright buddy, give that Pikachu a Psychic!”

“Zam!”

From across the stage, Ash shouted, “Pikachu… Thunderbolt!”

To Ryan’s horror, he saw that Pikachu was faster than his Alakazam. The fastest Pokémon I’ve ever seen. This is unreal.

“Alakazam, watch out!” Ryan yelled.

But it was no use. The floor was drenched in water. Though Alakazam tried to run about and dodge the attack, it didn’t matter where he ran – the electricity of the experienced Pikachu found him along the water like a heat-seeking missile. Alakazam was thrown back into a pillar, crying out in pain. He’d lost at least a third of his health. That’s not good. He has two chances to KO this Pikachu then… unless one of its other attacks does even more damage!

“Alakazam!” Ryan called. “Don’t forget your Psychic!”

“Zam,” the Psi Pokémon agreed. He sat up, shook his head, and then teleported over to the Pikachu. Pikachu spun around, crying out in surprise and falling over as he struggled to get away. Alakazam’s indigo-tinged Psychic charged up between his spoons. It floated in the air for a fraction of a second, as beautiful and dark as a teardrop frozen in ice. Then, the energy was unleashed. The Pikachu took it to the face (in Ryan’s mind, he thought only of a voice crying ‘headshot!’) and fell over, dazed and confused. Ryan’s heartbeat was in his ear. He thought of pink, and of Kelly, and of that black belt he needed to find. The energy washed over the Electric Pokémon, even as Pikachu tried to stand again, bringing the small yellow rodent to its knees. When Alakazam’s energy disappeared, Pikachu crumpled onto the ground, cried out an echoing cry of pain, its eyes shut, and did not move again.

“Well done,” Ash said in congratulations. He walked forward and picked up his defeated Pokémon, holding the small thing in his arms as he walked over to Ryan. There, the teal-haired boy stood, his Alakazam at his side. “You’re the new Indigo League Champion, Ryan.”

A fluttering, warm feeling burst in his heart. Ryan’s vision was popping. His hands were shaking. He didn’t know what to say or think. His eyesight was getting blurry. Ash held out his hand and Ryan took it. The young man was saying something, but Ryan was barely listening.

“… and you’ll do fine, I’m sure. You won’t have another challenger for at least a year, if they even get past the Elite 4,” Ash was saying.

“A-are you gonna become one of the Elite 4 now?” Ryan asked him, trying to suppress the emotion in his voice.

Ash laughed and looked down at Pikachu. “To be honest, I’ve been waiting a while for someone to beat me. I think I’ll go home for now and see what’s goin’ on with my mom and my Pokémon and…”

“Misty,” Ryan observed coolly.

Ash gave him a look. “Maybe. Or maybe I’ll come back next year and compete in the Indigo League again!”

“Can you even do that? Aren’t you like too old man?”

“I don’t know.”

“Huh, okay.”

“Well,” Ash said, sighing, “nice work, Ryan. Your Pokémon are really strong, but more importantly, you share a close bond with them all. That’s good to see. I’m sure you’ll be a great Indigo League Champion. You might even last two years.”

“Hey, what’s that supposed to mean?!”

Ash shrugged, grinning a devilish grin. “All I’m saying Ryan is that you’re no Ja’Crispy Vulcano. You didn’t use a Mew to sweep through the competition only to hold onto the title of Indigo League Champion for more than twenty-five years.”

“Yeah,” Ryan agreed sadly. “That would’ve been cool. Y’know, I met a Mew once? It was blue and really sweet, but Team Rocket captured it and tortured it and tried to use it as a weapon to conquer Kanto.”

Ash nodded. “That sounds like them.”

“I-I set it free… but it just flew away, and I never saw it again. I wonder what it was thinking… if it was scared of me too, or what?”

“I don’t know about any of that,” Ash said. “But if you had an encounter with a legendary Pokémon, I’m sure you’ll see them again one day.”

“How do you know that?”

Ash smiled. “The first day I left Pallet Town to start my Pokémon journey with only this Pikachu,” he said, motioning to the unconscious Electric Pokémon in his arms, “who hated me at the time,” he laughed nostalgically, “I saw a Ho-Oh in the sky.”

“Are you sure about that, though?”

“Yeah,” Ash said, looking down and smiling as his eyes glazed over in remembrance, “I do. I met that Ho-Oh again,” he said in a dead-serious tone. “So I’m sure you’ll meet that blue Mew again too. Count on it, champ!”

That was a lame thing to say. “Okay, see ya Ash,” Ryan said. “But, uh, what do I do now?”

“Over there,” the young man said, pointing to a new door that had lit up from lights in the wall between the Bug and Ghost doors. “That’s where you need to go.”

“Thanks.”

Ash stretched his neck and stole another glance at his fallen Pikachu. “I’m going home now. Good luck with all this, Ryan.” He seemed very tired. “And congratulations again!”

“Seeya, Ash,” Ryan replied. “Oh, and give my regards to Misty. Tell her I complimented how big and strong her Gyarados is.”


It was a spacious room, with a library, an indoor pool, a study, and a large Pokémon battle hall. This was the inner sanctum of the Indigo League Champions; their faces, in the form of paintings, decorated the walls, as did other trophies and paintings of noble Pokémon and Pokémon trainers. Ryan spied a Nidoqueen and a pink Mew amongst the many Pokémon wrought in paint on the fine cherrywood walls. Soon mine will join them. That little Abra has finally gotten his wish. Trainers for generations to come will know about all he and the others did for me in this tournament. And he’s definitely the one, if I only get one, of my Pokémon who would get such a painting.

There was a man in the study writing something in a book. He wore a dark cape, a regal blue-and-orange suit, and fancy matching boots. His hair was wild and red, and he looked to be quite old. He saw Ryan long before the boy reached him, but he didn’t look up as Ryan entered the room.

“Hello,” Ryan said to him. “I’m Ryan. I’m, uh, the new Indigo League Champion… at least I think I am. I don’t exactly remember what happened in the battle…”

“Hello, Ryan.” The man did not look up; he continued writing.

“What are you doing?” the boy asked.

“I’m finishing up my recount of Ash’s final battle as the champion. This book catalogues the greatest feats and historical moments of each Indigo League Champion – from the first to the last, whoever that may be. Once I finish Ash’s section, I will begin yours.”

“Oh… thank you!”

The man looked up and eyed the boy with narrow eyes. “My name’s Lance. This place used to be mine… a long time ago. It’s nice to see a new face in here.”

“Oh cool. So what exactly do I do now? Do I just stay in here and wait?”

Lance shook his head. “No. You won’t do much except for promotional and charity events and maybe a few showcase battles… that is until next year’s Indigo League starts. You will have the power to change the rules of the Indigo League next year,” Lance said. “That includes both the tournament and the battles against the Elite 4 and champion. You may modify the existing rules, within reason of course.”

“Oh, okay, that sounds sweet.”

“That is not all, Ryan. You will also be placed on a committee designed to review and maintain the Kanto Gyms. You will become one of three senior members who can vote on the closing of old gyms and opening of new gyms, as well as allowing gyms to change types and whatnot.

“Wow, that’s awesome. I didn’t know the Indigo League Champion had that kind of power!

Lance shrugged. “It’s not that impressive, trust me. In the past forty years, very few gym and tournament rule changes have been approved, so I don’t expect you’ll preside over any. Ash didn’t. And I didn’t.”

“Oh, okay. Well, if that’s all now, can I go back to my hotel and celebrate with my family and friends?” Ryan asked, yawning. He was drained from all the battles he had done today, and now he just wanted to lie down and sleep this dream away. He knew everyone else would start an absolutely mad party if they learned that he had beaten Ash. Maybe I won’t tell them until tomorrow.

“No, not everything.” Lance was writing with a quill, which was odd. Ryan had only heard about people doing that in the history books he had never read in school. “There’s one more thing I need to give you first. And of course, the closing ceremony of the Indigo League is tomorrow. That’s where the top three trainers will be honored in the Indigo Stadium along with every other competitor. You’ll need to attend that, too.”

“I know about the closing ceremony, don’t worry,” Ryan said slowly. His mind was blank. He didn’t know what to think or feel. All he knew was that the energy was draining from him fast, and that he’d rather be in bed than be champion. “So Lance… can you give me the thingy you need to give me, then?”

“No, not yet. You have to fight me for it,” Lance said, standing up. “One on one. Your Dragonite against mine.”

“Huh?”

“It’s rare that someone uses a Dragonite in this tournament. Indeed… they’re rare Pokémon in general. Very few people have them. I was surprised to see that two of them were used in this year’s tournament. I’m a bit of a Dragon Type specialist myself, so…”

“Oh.” Come on, I’ve battled enough today. “Fine, let’s get this over with.”

“How did you get that Dragonite?” Lance asked as he led Ryan out of the study down towards the fighting hall.

“What do you mean?”

“Did you catch her in the wild, or was she bought from a breeder?”

“Oh… well, it’s a bit complicated. I found her on Route 18 wounded, so I took her to the Cinnabar Island Pokémon Center, then she broke out of there and helped me get my Volcano Badge, and she’s been with me ever since.”

“She was a Dragonite at the time?”

“No, a Dragonair.”

“I see. How did she evolve?”

“She saved me from some Painted Dragons.”

“I see.”

They came to the battle hall, and Ryan used his second max revive (those things aren’t cheap, baby) to revive Thurnax and send her out against Lance’s own. The two were of a similar size, though Lance’s was slightly larger, slightly older. The two Dragonite stood very still, studying each other carefully.

“I recognize that Dragonair… or rather, I last saw your Pokémon when it was a Dragonair,” Lance said. “That’s one of Derceyes’.”

“That’s right,” Ryan said. “And she gave me this,” he said pulling a little Dragoniteite stone out of his pocket, “but I don’t know what this is for.”

Lance laughed. “That is most fortuitous indeed! Wait until the end of the battle!”

“Okay.”

“Let’s begin, shall we?”

Alright, here we go. This is the last Pokémon battle I’ll do for at least a week… maybe even longer than that. I’m way too tired to keep doing this stuff… “Agility, Thurnax!”

“Thunder!” Lance ordered his own Dragonite.

A Dragonite who knows Thunder? That’s weird. Meanwhile, Thurnax built up her speed in that cramped, well-lit battle hall built of light cream-and-pink marble. The Thunder hurt, doing about 25% damage to Thurnax, but she built up her speed and afterwards, she became faster. Thereafter, Ryan had her Wrap the opposing Dragonite a few times, while, during the missed Wraps, the other Dragonite shot Fire Blasts and Thunders at Thurnax. Some hit, and some didn’t.

At the end of this flurry, Ryan shouted, “Another Wrap, girl!” and Thurnax missed, shooting past the other Dragonite and crashing into the wall.

“Excellent work, Ryan,” Lance called out. “Your Dragonite uses a curious, but powerful set of moves. I’m impressed. You have proven to me that you are skilled and passionate about training Pokémon. Unfortunately, I must also mention that I’m a Dragon Type specialist… so my dragon should win these kinds of battles. Dragonite, Blizzard attack!”

Dastardly sneak attack, Ryan thought in horror. He was just toying with me. He could have used Blizzard at any time. The 4x weakness… Thurnax would’ve probably been OHKO’d by it! That’s crazy, yo. He trained his Dragon to learn the ultimate anti-Dragon move. That just doesn’t seem right.

Thurnax dropped, which should come as no surprise. Not only was Lance’s Dragonite at a higher level (Thurnax was already by roughly 7 levels the strongest of Ryan’s Pokémon, and she was still several levels below Lance’s Dragonite), but his Pokémon was also sporting a nasty 4x damage move, something Ryan’s Thurnax couldn’t hope to match in raw power with any of her own moves. He’d done about half damage to Lance’s Dragonite, and yet it had all been for naught.

They returned their Pokémon and stood amongst the melting frost awkwardly. At last, Lance threw Ryan a little package, which he caught easily. What’s this now? He tore open the brown bag and found a gold pocket watch inside. Wow this thing looks ancient… and valuable.

“Open it,” Lance said, smiling.

Ryan did. On one side, there was a clock, presented in roman numerals. On the other side, a small glimmering gem was set against the gold. It radiated light and shimmered like it was alive with dancing colors – the top of it sparkled cherry red and the darkest shade of midnight purple, bleeding to ice blue and new-growth green and then blending into the faintest sundae cream yellow. Huh?

“Uh… what is this, exactly?”

“It’s a very expensive pocket watch,” Lance said plainly, “with a Key Stone inside it. That rock Derceyes gave you is a Mega Stone. If you activate that Key Stone in battle while your Thurnax holds the Mega Stone, she will turn into a Mega Pokémon.

“A mega what now?”

“A Mega Pokémon,” Lance repeated. “Surely you’ve heard about them? A lot of the Kanto Pokémon can become Mega Pokémon.”

“I haven’t.”

“Well, test it out in your next battle. Make sure your Dragonite holds that rock when you try, though.”

“Yeah,” Ryan yawned. I’m taking an extended break from fighting starting now. And there isn’t anything anyone can do to stop me. “Well, I guess I’ll get going now. It’s been a very long day…”

“One more thing before you go, Ryan,” Lance spoke. “Now that you are the Indigo League Champion, they will be coming for you.”

“Who?”

“Fame-seekers and desperate, greedy people. They’ll want to bask in your fame and take as much of your money as they can. They will swear they are your friends, but don’t listen to them. Expect that your newfound fame will be a double-edged sword. Be careful of you who align yourself with following today. That is all.”

“Are you sure? People wouldn’t want to become my friends just to get money from me, would they?”

“Trust me,” Lance replied haughtily. “Humans can be cruel, selfish creatures. I know this well. It’s why I work with Dragon Pokémon instead of other people.”

“Oh.”

“Now, it’s late,” Lance growled. “You said you were going, so get going. I have to write the beginning of your entry in the great white Book of Champions, Ryan. First line should read… ‘Ryan lost his first battle after becoming champion in record time.’”

“Hey, you’re the one who demanded we fight!”

Lance shrugged. “I thought you’d win.”

“I see.”

Man that’s some cold lotion. Ryan stood up, bade Lance goodnight, and walked out of the Indigo Plateau mansion as the new Indigo League Champion. He was in a daze as he left, tired and numb, and not entirely sure what had happened. I’m the champion, he reminded himself. No matter what else happens, they can’t take that away from me.

That declaration made him shiver. It didn’t feel real, didn’t feel right. The boy yawned, rubbed his eyes, and shook his head. Maybe this won’t seem like such a dream in the morning.


(Cue The Matter’s Settled)

He had meant to keep it a secret, but Ryan had as bad a Poker face as a Psyduck. They had known the moment he had walked out of that mansion – his friends and family – and they had done exactly what he had expected. The party that was now going on in his room was as anarchic as a garbage can full of seventeen Magikarp. Music was blaring; balloons were shooting about; confetti was falling. The lights in that room were so bright, Ryan’s eyes were watering. There were dozens of people, including many he didn’t know, having a grand old time.

Ryan sat on the edge of the bed, exhausted, his head in his hands. They’re doing this for you. Stay awake. He sat up, looking around. There was no sign of his father; his mother had said as much after he had come out of the mansion. He went back home because he had work to do, the boy reflected. Mom said he was going to plant a few more maples that he’d bought recently. He couldn’t be bothered to see if his son had won the Indigo League or not…

“Hey, Ryan!” Rahul called, running over to the Indigo League Champion. There was confetti in the other boy’s goatee, and Rahul looked to be in high spirits. Behind him, his mother was dancing like a simmering Jambalaya. Don’t forget about the shrimp, the boy thought distractedly. “So… are we going to Sevii, or what?” he asked breathlessly.

“Yeah,” Ryan sighed, leaning back on the bed and running his fingers through his teal hair. “Probably in a few days.”

“Woo hoo!” Rahul celebrated. “I need a vacation. You don’t even understand, Ryan.” He was wearing nothing except a wife-beater and sweatpants and dark-colored socks. Maybe his losses did affect him…

“Why didn’t you tell me about this, Rahul?” his mother asked, coming over in her slow dance. Her voice didn’t sound angry, but stern. “Since when are you going to the Sevii Islands? You didn’t tell me. They are so far away!”

Rahul looked a little embarrassed, and he began talking quickly to his mother in another language. In one breath, the two of them were whisked away into the crowds that were pulsating through the small hotel room. That was weird. He watched them for a while with his weary eyes – all of them partied and let loose like this was the last Bacchanalia on Earth. I wonder if that makes me Bacchus. He didn’t know most of these people. The other trainers and their family members were celebrating in general more so than they were celebrating him. Only a few of his non-friends had even congratulated him for winning the tournament and beating Ash.

Alex was talking to his brothers over Skype on his phone in the corner, a bowl of Chinese dumplings in his hand. Oh, that’s right! I have seen a Mega Pokémon before! Ryan’s mother was talking with a few other mothers and a reporter, boasting excessively about her son. Ryan shivered. He knew he should feel happy, should feel relieved. He didn’t feel anything. It’ll come, in time. Maybe tomorrow during the closing ceremony… when I get my prize money and trophy.

He stood up, to get a bit of the punch being served on a nearby table when Logan ran into him. “Hey Ryan, look!” he said, holding up the boy’s baby frog Pokémon. “Don’t forget about this guy! He’s your Pokémon, remember?!”

“Did you figure out what kind of Pokémon he is yet?”

“Nope, but my sources…” Logan said, lowering his voice to a whisper, “tell me that he’s not from Kanto. He’s a Pokémon from a different region.”

“Nurse Joy already told me that,” Ryan replied, annoyed. “Do you have any new information?”

“About this little guy?” The blue-green baby frog jumped happily onto Ryan’s shoulder. “No, but… I’ve heard through the grapevine that the Clefable in Sevii are gathering to return to their homeworld. They’re building a rocket ship and everything!”

Ryan yawned, disinterested. “That’s great, Logan.”

“Well, I want to visit them one last time before they leave!” the other boy said earnestly. “Just to say goodbye. Please, Ryan!”

Why is everyone so pushy all of the sudden? “Yeah, we’re going, we’re going. Just give me a few days, okay? I wanna be able to soak all this in before we go on vacation.”

“Alright, cool. Clefable fable, Ryan!” Logan boasted. “That’s Clefable for ‘thank you’, by the way.”

The teal-haired boy nodded and moved on through the crowd. Shouting jubilantly, Logan jumped onto the bed (with his shoes still on, mind you), and began waving about Ryan’s autograph like he had finally taken a picture of a real alien.

Ahead, Ryan caught a glimpse of pink hair drifting by above the sea of heads like the flames of Moltres. She was alone amongst the people, like a bleak, forsaken iceberg surrounded on all sides by water. A plastic cup was in her hand; her makeup had smeared around her eyes. “Kelly!” Ryan called, and the girl turned from what she was doing to face him.

Her cheeks were flushed fuchsia, and her eyes were bloodshot, like wilted roses. She’s had quite a bit of orange juice. “Oh, hi Rye-bread. What’s up?”

He felt pangs of anxiety blast through his chest and lungs, the old familiar feeling. Taking a deep breath, Ryan thought, it’s now or never. I’m the Indigo League Champion. This is what I worked so hard for. This is the moment I swore I would make my move. “Uh… so I was wondering if you wanted to go to Sevii with us…” he asked awkwardly. “I-I know you said you’d go on another adventure with me back in Viridian… but I don’t know if you remember.”

The girl eyed him curiously and then laughed boisterously. “You gotta real good memory…” she slurred. “I can’t believe you won… Ryan, wass goin’ on?!”

“I know,” the boy said quietly. “I can’t believe it myself.”

“You’re not half the trainer I am!” she boasted recklessly, tears in her red eyes. “Why’d you win…? Iss not fair!!”

“Kelly…” Ryan asked again, his voice rising. “Please. Do you want to come or not?”

She was swaying back and forth slightly, staring at him with those wide pink eyes of hers. “Iss juss luck…” she said drunkenly, downing the rest of her plastic cup of orange juice. “You’re juss a…”

You were the one who wanted to go on another adventure with me. You’re the one who said… “Please, Kelly.” Now Ryan had tears in his eyes. He leaned forward, but she recoiled from him like a Charmander would from a Squirtle.

“No,” she said suddenly, “I can’t.”

“But I thought…”

She looked down at him. Her expression became cold and then sad and then tired again. “You’re not the one for me, kid. I’ll see you around.”

With that, the pink-haired girl turned and walked out of Ryan’s room. A heavy feeling rose in Ryan’s chest, like he had been punched deep in the gut. His face was burning; he wiped the tears away. Why? Why am I not good enough?

He sunk to the side of the bed, and wanted nothing more than for everyone to leave. He watched her go, stumbling emotionally past trainers and parents to the door. And when Kelly reached it, she vanished to the right in an instant. She’s gone, he thought. Truly gone. I’ll never see her again.

His vision went blurry again. Why does that always happen? Shaking, he swallowed and held his grief. The lights were so white, so overpowering. There was a reporter in his face, a microphone thrust at his nose. The man was saying something. Why is it so bright?

Ryan sucked in a breath of air and turned his head away from her, white and to the light, which shimmered like static, rainbow-strobing confetti bursting from its seams.


“And lastly, he left this for you, my lady,” the butler said, holding up an old dusty voice scrambler. “Amongst everything else, this was his most treasured gift to give you.”

“Put it with the rest,” Jessica ordered.

The butler nodded obediently. “Is there anything else you require of me, my lady?” he asked dully.

“Yes,” she said, taking a piece of paper out of her pocket. “What is this?”

Holding it up to his face, the man exhaled sharply and said gruffly, “No idea. It looks like information on a hybrid Pokémon called, uh… Mewtwo… that Master Giovanni must have been working on at some point in his career. I don’t think he was ever successful in creating such a creature, at least to my knowledge, and I never heard him mention it…”

“That’s strange,” Jessica said matter-of-factly, snatching the paper from the man’s grasp. “Because the last few pages document six specimens who survived Dr. Fuji’s laboratory to reach maturity. They were described as ‘very volatile’ and ‘powerful beyond comprehension’,” she read, “and five were lost in accidents. Where the one specimen who was not lost remains, as well as the five who escaped… there is no information. I thought you, Jenkins, being the Boss’ butler for more than fifty years, would have learned something about this well-kept secret.”

“Nothing,” the man replied. He was unshakeable. Is he just dumb, or is he protecting the Boss’s secret weapon? What does it matter? I’m the leader of Team Rocket now. I can do with him as I please.

“Is that so?” He nodded dutifully. “Very well, you may leave me.”

He did.

Jessica stood there in the near darkness, shuffling through the useless trinkets of a man now dead – his stuffed Persian, his favorite cigar case, his gold chain necklace… all useless for the plans Jessica had. Team Rocket is not dead yet. We will rise from this, like Phoenixes from the ashes.

The door behind Jessica opened again.

(Cue Double Trouble)

“Hello darling,” said the man who entered. He was old, had a wrinkled face that looked like a shovel, and long blue hair. He wore a polo shirt and khaki pants, looking as casual as a Wednesday Fearow.

“Good afternoon, dear,” said the woman, who was also quite old, though she didn’t have any wrinkles and wore a significant amount of makeup on her face. Her dark red hair was elegant and long, shooting out of her scalp like an upside-down tusk. She wore a lazy half-dress of black and crimson.

No way! Jessica shivered uncontrollably. “What are you doing here?!”

“Oh, nothing,” the red-haired woman said sinisterly. “We were just checking up on our favorite little snookums darling…”

Jessica’s face went red. “Mom, please…”

“Oh, and darling, we found that thing you wanted,” said the man carelessly.

“Huh? You found a Mewtwo?!”

“No, the other one,” her mother said, jumping forward, pulling off her clothes to reveal a white Team Rocket suit underneath. So you found Ryan. “We did it for our precious little girl! We want to help you with all your cute little evil scheming!”

Are they okay? “But I thought… you didn’t like it when I joined Team Rocket?”

“That was then,” her father said even more carelessly.

“And besides, dear, now that the Boss is gone,” her mother said, feigning immense sadness, “I – I mean you – are in charge.”

“We’ll be the richest rogues of all time!” his father boasted.

“That’s right,” his mother said. “The Boss was leading this place to ruin. Now that we’re in charge… we’ll bring Team Rocket back to its former glory!”

“We’re gonna capture Pikachu!” her father shouted with lief passion.

We’re going to capture a lot more than an old Pikachu, Jessica knew. She felt a flush of heat travel down her cheeks, down her throat, and to her chest. Jessica smiled, in spite of herself. Mom and dad can be so weird sometimes. “O-okay… so, where is he?”

“Well, he won the Indigo League or something,” her father said lazily. “Wooohooo, his face was all over the papers!”

“And he was all over the TV,” her mother agreed. “Ugly little boy. Tsk tsk. You picked a rotten one, dear.”

Great. There’s no such thing as karma. No way that kid deserved to win the whole thing. Are you kidding me? His Pokémon were nothing compared to mine. “And where is he going now?”

“Wherever he’s going, he’s going to have to prepare for trouble!”

Her father smiled evilly. “That’s right, Jessie, let’s make it double.”

They looked like they were going to bust out in theme song singing again, so Jessica stepped forward and said, “No… not double… triple. Take me to him.”

Her parents laughed maniacally. What’s gotten over them? Are they really back with Team Rocket again? She didn’t know, but with her parents’ experience and Pokémon, she did know that Ryan would be having some very real trouble sometime very soon. You do not spite me, Ryan Morgan, and get away with it, she thought without emotion. The leader of Team Rocket will suffer no such slights. I don’t care if you’re the Indigo League Champion or the son of a Magikarp… I’ll do everything in my power to ruin you. I’ll make you rue the day we ever met.

(Double Trouble reaches 1:02)


THE END

Sevii Islands Arc

Ajeseviibanner





This arc adheres to Generation VII physics.


Episode 1: If You Wanna Be A Party Animal…

(Cue Good Grief)

Perched upon the corner of the nearest building, a Tranquill wheezed lazily. His feet trampled down the cobbled street, echoing lightly. The boy skidded to a stop in front of a fruit stand. A mango was in his right hand, a banana in the other. Before the owner could shout in surprise, he was away again, gusting like a seawind.

Pushing pedestrians out of his way, the black-haired boy came to another stall–this one offering barbeque chicken and pineapples for fair and decent prices. The sweet meat was in his grip in the blink of an eye.

“Hey you… thief! Stop right now!” That was Officer Jenny. He knew her voice well. Growlithe howled fervently. He was running again.

The pineapple was delicious. He was faster than her Growlithe. He sprinted off around a corner, the white stone buildings blurring around his vision. He could hear their footsteps growing fainter behind him. He was faster; he had always been faster. Down another street, the boy found another vendor selling fruit at reasonable rates. It was little effort to take the next corner before Jenny could catch up. The plastic bag in his arms was growing heavier. Pale were the stones; the sounds of his movement echoed across sweltering air.

A Mantine was soaring lazily in the cloudless sky when he reached the marketplace. Breathing heavily, the boy dove behind an unattended stall, looking over the food he’d stolen so far. There were a lot of people here. He could get lost in the crowd if he needed to. Swallowing, he took another bite of pineapple and poked up his head.

Dozens of men, women, and children were perusing stands of food, conversing, and having a generally pleasant time. A blonde-haired girl and her baby Azurill wandered by, nearly spotting him. He ducked down and filled his face. His stomach was still growling.

Looking to make his move, the boy noticed a trio of humans to his left talking to a hotel owner who was peering out of a window-less hole in a wall below a flashing neon sign that read: ‘The Pidgeot Hotel! Discover a hotel that defines a new dimension of luxury. Your success is our highest calling.’. “Come on, don’t you have any rooms at all?! We can pay!” a purple-haired girl was saying.

“Sorry, we’re full. I don’t know what ta tell ya…”

“We weren’t asking,” the girl’s mother snapped. She wore a dress with white-and-green flowers, a metric ton of makeup, and her crimson hair was pulled back down her back like a curling Rhydon horn. The girl’s father, a clumsy-looking man with blue hair, was wearing dark shades and a cyan-and-rose Hawaiian t-shirt and was engaged in an animated conversation with a sly-looking man holding up a Magikarp for sale. “Either find us a room, or we’ll make you pay!”

“Oh… is that right?” The hotel owner sounded taken aback.

The air was full of the fragrances of cooked meat. He had to go. Jenny’s gone. Now’s my chance.

“Mom… please… we don’t have to–”

“No!” the woman shrieked, scowling a mean scowl. “James, get over here! Put this man in his place!”

“Wait, Jessie, this guy’s gonna give me a–” His wife jerked him away from the Magikarp salesman, and he let out a wild scream. “Whaaaoaeieaiaieaiaa!”

“James! Hey, pull yourself together!” she reprimanded him, slapping him across the face. “We’re spending the night in this lovely hotel, and you’re going to make it happen!”

James’ face softened. “Oh, I am?!” He looked dumbfounded, but in the next breath, he puffed out his chest and said in a deep voice, “Well, in that case… I think it’s time for our motto! Whaddya say, Jess?” He smiled deviously and pulled a Poké Ball from his pocket.

“Please, I don’t want any trouble, I just don’t have any rooms for you!”

“Oooh, make it double!” James, yelled passionately. “Jessie wants a queen-sized bed and I want a mini fridge too!”

Their daughter’s face was in her hands, shaking in embarrassment. Humans are strange creatures. The boy stood up, ready to make his move, when something drew him to her again. There was something wrong about that purple-haired girl. There was an energy radiating from her… a familiar, powerful type of energy that he knew all too well. Could she really have such a powerful Pokémon, though? Or was his hunger making him sense things that weren’t there? It doesn’t matter. I have more important things to worry about.

“There he is! Stop him, Growly! Don’t let him get away!” There was Officer Jenny again. How she had appeared out of nothingness was beyond him.

He’d frozen in place. It was the girl’s fault. Across the marketplace, her parents had Poké Balls in hand. Why doesn’t Jenny see them? Much of the rest of the marketplace had quieted down to stare at the boy and the plastic bag of stolen fruits and vegetables and kabobs in his hand. He took a deep breath and was dashing off again.

There wasn’t one Growlithe after him now–there were six. Officer Jenny had gone all out. I guess she’s gotten a little impatient.

He pushed his way past stunned pedestrians, the Puppy Pokémon hot on his heels. He’d have to be more careful in the future. If he kept getting caught, he’d lose the element of surprise. He’d have to switch islands again. That would be inconvenient.

As the boy broke past the people of the marketplace, he bounded down a desolate alley, where piles of garbage and feral Meowth made their kingdom. Looking over his shoulder, he saw the police officer and her team of Growlithe right behind him. They’re not giving up. And when the boy looked ahead again, he realized, with a sudden pang of anxiety through his heart, that this was a dead end.

Coming to a stop and breathing hard, he kept his back to them. I don’t want to have to do this, he thought. She’ll know who I am… but what choice do I have? A Clefairy was sitting on the wall of the alleyway, staring down at the boy curiously. He felt a chill cover his body and tasted salt in the air. He blinked and looked away.

“Looks like this is the end of the line, thief!” Jenny declared confidently. “Hand over the bag and there won’t be any trouble.”

“No…” he breathed, turning to face her. This was his food now. He’d earned it. He needed it. His belly growled again.

“Growlithe, take it!”

“Grow, grow!” the obsequious beast barked. Jumping into the air, Growlithe opened his mouth wide, preparing to snatch the goods from the boy’s grasp.

You have no idea who you’re dealing with. He felt the energy come to him, almost by its own accord. His eyes burned white and indigo and black, and Growlithe froze in midair.

“Huh, what happened?!”

Her other Growlithe attempted to avenge their comrade, but met similar fates. All six of them were stopped where they stood, with the lead Growlithe hovering in midair and barking fearfully. The boy glanced at Officer Jenny, and she became rigid too. Gasping, the woman tried to speak, but found she couldn’t. You won’t be able to do anything until I leave.

He walked right up to the quivering, uncertain woman. “Leave me alone,” he told her. “Or next time, it’ll be a lot worse.”

With that, he stepped behind her, took a deep breath, and kicked off into the air. As he ascended towards the pale blue sky, the boy’s form began to dissolve away. It felt good–the sun on his face, the wind at his back. He was in his real body again. He sighed as his purple aura enveloped him, burning away the last human-like features he’d been pretending were his.

The lethargic Mantine let out a cry as she tried to get out of his way, flapping her wings madly. He clutched the bag close to his chest as he flew low towards the water. She’s never seen a Legendary Pokémon before, he realized, watching the Kite Pokémon barrel away from him as quickly as she could. Neither has anyone else on this miserable rock.

That was good; that was just what he wanted. He cared little and less about humans and common Pokémon. He just wanted to get his food and be left alone. He hadn’t asked for this life.

Flying off towards his cave, which only he knew about, he wondered what the energy he sensed in that purple-haired girl’s Poké Ball was. She commanded a strong Pokémon, whatever it was. He would have to check that out later. But first, he had to eat. This would be his first meal in five days. Mewtwo would make it count.


The four bestest friends in the whole wild world arrived without delay at the Sevii Islands’ Resort Gorgeous, an excellent name for a resort if I’ve ever heard one. Checking into their rooms on the second floor of the packed hotel, they were met almost at once by the resort’s old butler, Sebastian, who, even Rahul had to admit, had a mustache for the ages.

He bowed low and welcomed them and gave them complimentary empty plastic wrappers and it was very lovely. “Now,” the old man said, having not even introduced himself yet, “all of you must show me your rarest Pokémon!”

“Why?” asked Logan. “Who are you to demand seeing our Pokémon without even taking us out to dinner first?”

“Yeah,” Rahul agreed. “I’m famished.”

“Oh yes, very good.” The old man looked very regal and very out of it, and he barely seemed to care who they were. “I should mention that Miss Selphy has a policy at Resort Gorgeous that you may have never heard of before… namely, that if you show either her or me your rarest and most esteemed Pokémon, you will win a prize.”

Alex folded his arms, unimpressed. “What kind of prize?”

“Well, that’s a secret. You can’t know what you’re going to get until you show us what you’ve got.”

The big man sighed terribly before scratching his sixteen-year-old goatee and throwing a random Poké Ball onto the floor like a toddler. “Here you go… heh, I shouldn’t really be showing you guys this bad boy.”

“Ah, a Magneton. Very good,” Sebastian said, throwing Rahul something.

“What is this?” Rahul complained, holding up a bronze-colored statue that was almost entirely made up of a carved, ugly face that was hairless and reminded Ryan of tapioca pudding.

“That’s a pretty strange souvenir, I’ll admit,” the old man said. “Alright, who’s next?”

Logan let out his Chansey and was rewarded with a face full of stardust. He collapsed shrieking as he tried to regain his sight. Alex showed off his majestic Radon, an Aerodactyl of rather healthy proportions and was rewarded with a pretty big nugget.

“No fair, I want a nugget too!” Rahul pouted. But somehow I don’t think you want one made of gold.

“Then I suggest you go find some rare and unusual Pokémon, Master Bigman,” the old butler replied. “Now what about you?” he asked Ryan.

“Oh, uh, how about this little guy?” the teal-haired boy said lazily, pointing to tiny Katagiri on his shoulder. “I have no idea what kind of Pokémon he is, though.”

“That is a Froakie,” Sebastian responded, “a Water Pokémon popularly used as one of three starters in the Kalos Region.”

“Oh neat, well I guess that solves that deep mystery,” the boy yawned. He was hit in the side of the head by an escape rope. “Gee thanks, I think I’ll use this now,” he said, jumping up from the uncomfortable and bright orange bean bag chair he had been getting swallowed up into. “Come on, let’s blow this joint.”

Everyone followed him out to the beach, where there were several people, but very few who were tolerable to look upon. Resort Gorgeous wasn’t the biggest resort in the Sevii Islands, but it had been the cheapest one. They weren’t about to stay here all day, however. The Sevii Islands were vast and mysterious, and this tiny island, just north of Five Island, was not their end-goal.

“I want to go to Two Island, pleeeeeeease, Ryan!”

“Is that where all the Clefairy live?” Alex asked as they walked down the beach.

“No, Alex, quiet!” Logan reprimanded him. “Nobody knows about the secret of the Clefairy except for me! I was raised by them, dude! I’m like one of them! There aren’t any down here… although I know a few made to Two Island. Most of them are on Three Island. We need to go to Two Island first, though.”

“Why?”

“That’s the only place around here to buy Lava Cookies.”

“Alright, let’s go,” Rahul said quickly. “But after that, I want to check out that Ember Spa on One Island… I’ve got a killer neck cramp that needs to be dealt with pronto.”

“That’s because you slept like a sack of potatoes on the boat ride over, Rahul buddy,” Ryan shot back.

“Gree!” agreed Katagiri.

Rahul was about to say something very witty (promise), but as they reached the beach, the four boys noticed that there was a rather old and rather balding pony-tail flaunting gentleman sunbathing just at the water’s edge. He was wearing an inordinate amount of sunscreen, instantly bringing to mind a host of other such similar instances Ryan had witnessed in his off-time back home.

“Yo, Jesse!” Ryan shouted in his ear, using his hands to make a dastardly sand attack and bury the old man in a heap of it. “Jesse Ventura!”

“Huh?!” The man perked up, looking around. “I’ll tell ya what, I was a governor, a fighter, a Pokémon SEAL!”

“And you also left your Sandslash in the middle of the woods when you went running off after you thought you saw a drone in the sky.”

“No, that never happened. Thank you for your service!” the old man spat angrily, his big flabby cheeks becoming red as tire irons. He was hideous, like a Pelipper that had been stranded on a sea rock for hours just hoping to get a chance to peck out some wash out’s tasty-looking eyes.

“You’re lucky I didn’t bring him with me down here,” Ryan shot back, “otherwise I’d have ol’ Skorge tear you a new blowhole, dude.”

“Ah heck. Who you callin’ dude? It’s not like we live in the seventies anymore. Ah, I’ll tell ya what,” complained Jesse, leaning back in his chair, “I’m a reasonable man, get off my case!”

“Only a coward abandons his Pokémon,” Alex shot back. “What do you have to say for yourself?”

“Thank you for your service!”

“Alright, get up,” Ryan said, folding his arms to look like a badass or something. “We’re gonna fight like men.”

“Why?” the old man complained. “I just wanna relax for the rest of my life!”

“I want to throw you into the ocean.”

But it was exactly at that moment that the five of them noticed something flying low over the water, towards them. It was a Pokémon, lanky, with a green tail and greyish-pink skin. Its belly was also green. “Ah, heck. You think you know the whole story?! Think again! I’ve heard things that’ll blow your mind, and now I think it’s time you get the whole story, rawr!”

He was clenching his fists and looking directly at the camera, and it was very scary.

“What are you on about now, man?”

“That’s a drone, headed right for me! Ah heck, I better get outta here!” the old man complained. He grabbed his chair and ran off up the beach, back to Resort Gorgeous.

The so-called drone veered left and was lost on the horizon a moment later. He is such an idiot. I bet he did that just so he could run away without getting humiliated… but he did a pretty good job of doing that anyways.

“Whoa…” Alex was staring off at the horizon as the waves crashed against the beach, foaming blue. “That wasn’t a drone… that was a Pokémon.”

“I’ve never seen a Pokémon that looks like that,” Rahul replied. “Therefore, it cannot be real.”

“I swear… it almost looked like a Mew, but it was all wrong…”

“No way!” Ryan remembered what the legendary Mew had looked like, and it had looked nothing like that thing. “Mew is completely different, Alex. The one I saw had blue fur, but even so, its tail wasn’t nearly so long and fat!”

“It has to be a Legendary Pokémon of some sort.”

They were having a really nice and proper conversation when at that moment a man with the face of New Jersey (and a little extra scruff) came ambling up to them with a bottle of vaseline in one hand. He wasn’t wearing a shirt, which was unsurprising on this hot day, and he kind of had a beard but eh. He looked very mad, and despite how macho and manly he looked, when he spoke, he sounded like he had sucked in a breath of helium. “Well… like, there’s no such thing as Legendary Pokémon,” he snapped at them.

“What are you talking about, jive boy?” Logan screamed. “Haven’t you ever seen Granddaddy Clefable after the Dance of Alpha Centauri?!”

This new fellow looked at Logan like he was a slice of swiss cheese dropped on the kitchen floor. “Literally who the heck are you?”

“My name’s Logan, and I’m going to be the best Pokémon Breeder of all time!”

“Does that mean you’re going to be the best at breeding with them?”

Logan was flummoxed, so he blushed, and it was very unseemly.“Wh-why you…”

“You’re an idiot,” Alex said simply. “There are plenty of Legendary Pokémon that have been documented. Ryan saw one of them just a few weeks ago back in Kanto.”

“Yeah, I saw a blue Mew! He was there, I saw him!”

“No you didn’t. Literally anything else is more likely,” the resentful-looking peasant man without a shirt screamed. “It doesn’t matter what your Pokédex tells you, there’s no such thing!”

“There’s video proof–” Rahul cut in.

“No, I looked at some Pokétube comments and they debunked every single one!” the bearded boy snarled. “I’m Rustled David, and me me, I’m a handsome boy! If there’s one piece of advice I can give you cretins, never look at Pokétube comments. They are literally cancer.”

“What the heck are you talking about?” Ryan asked.

“I have a freaking crazy idea right now, okay?” Rustled David replied. “What if Legendary Pokémon are just reflections in the water, huh? They could just be a bug on the windshield. Of course every video of them has to be one pixel, from a mile away, it’s never up close and…”

“Alright guys, I’m going to have to give this jabroni a smackdown,” Ryan told them. I’ve never used Katagiri to fight before, but this seems as good a time as any. That Sebastian dude said he’s a Froakie, whatever that means. He’s a Water starter, so he should be pretty good. Ain’t nobody pickin’ Bulbasaur, yo. “Yo, Lil Dexy,” he purred, pulling out his Pokédex and pointing it at Katagiri. “What are my little buddy’s moves again?”

“Katagiri the Unknown Pokémon knows the following moves: Pound; Growl; Bubble; Toxic.”

“Hey, we were talking about me,” Rustly Boy interjected. “What do you think about my insane theory? Give me some praise, dang it! I need you all to praise me while I never say anything good about you ever!”

“Cool, man, let it all out.”

Alex called out, “Hey Ryan, I was going to suggest you use Toxic on him, but now that I think about it, it wouldn’t be very effective on a guy like that.”

That was savage. “Now, now, Alex, we can’t use our Pokémon to attack real people,” Ryan countered.

“But you were just about to take out Jesse!”

“Snitches get stitches, yo!”

“Enough about that,” Rustled David scoffed. “I’m insecure so I need you to praise me. Aren’t I beautiful? Don’t I have amazing Pokémon? Aren’t I the smartest? And don’t think for a second I need to say anything nice about you! Don’t think that I have to even pretend I care about you in return! It’s all about me, baby!”

“Get your Pokémon out right now, or Katagiri’s gonna waste you.” He’s so dramatic and emotional. I’m surprised he hasn’t tired himself out already.

Rustled David called Ryan a very bad name, but that was okay, since it couldn’t be re-printed here, it didn’t have any effect! Everyone is countered most by the style they use against their opposition. I’ll have to keep that in mind. “Fine, whatever. Go, Minior!”

It looked like a rock, and that seemed about right.

Dex, of course, had yet to be updated to be able to distinguish non-Kanto Pokémon, so he had to rely upon Rahul and Alex’s great wisdom.

“That’s a rock!” Rahul shouted helpfully. “Rock Smash!”

“That’s a Rock Type Pokémon, Ryan. Keep that in mind,” Alex said.

“Gotcha. Katagiri, use Bubble!”

“Oh Minior, do one of your moves!” Rustled David shouted.

The big rock thingy hit his little froggy boy hard, pushing him back. Katagiri, for whatever reason, didn’t so much as flinch. He jumped immediately at the thing that had just hit him, eagerly spitting bubbles at it. The rock was hit by the Bubble attack, and it was truly devastating, just as one would imagine. But yet, the creature survived and managed to hit Katagiri a second time with a Tackle.

Now Katagiri looked to be worn out. It’s his first battle… he’s gotta win! A second Bubble hit that Minior so hard that it simply dropped from the sky, half-buried in the sand like some ancient monolith, and Rustled David was forced to recall him.

“I told you I wasn’t very good at this, gosh! Why would you mock my insecurities like that, geez?! Praise me, dang it!”

“Shut up and bring out another one or run away already.”

Rustled David looked like he wanted to dig right into a big, plump, juice melon, or maybe two. He especially looked like he did not want those melons to be the same size. “You know, you’re a bit of a Zork sometimes, you know that, kid?”

“And you’re a kewlu! Come on, Katagiri, Bang, Bang, Fire!”

The man with the very high voice tried to make a joke, but it was lost in the waves, and he had to run from that next cough of bubbles, lest he be hit himself and no doubt be confined to his bed for three or four days as a result.

“Well, that wasn’t interesting at all,” Alex remarked, watching the bearded kid run off. “He doesn’t look like much of a warrior to me.”

“Man, I’m starving,” complained Rahul. “Hey Logan, how good are those Lava Cookies anyways?”

“Gosh, Rahul, we’re not going there to stuff our faces! Those cookies are for Granddaddy Clefable!”

And with that, annoyed not only at Rahul’s heretical assumptions, but Ryan’s and Alex’s banality, Logan threw a Poké Ball, and out came his little Murr, the Squirtle. Without thinking, he jumped on Murr’s back, and struggling, the Squirtle attempted to walk into the ocean when they were both hit by a violent wave that swarmed over them and pulled them out to sea.

Shaking his head, Rahul, who looked more like a parent now than any other one of them, released his Lapras, hopped on, and went out looking for them.

Alex too released his Water Pokémon–his Gyarados, Tsunami, whose time had not yet come–much to the oohs and aahs of the various people standing around on the beach, and jumped on its neck. “Alright, Ryan? You coming?”

“Yeah… but, as a tall-haired scrub once told me, personally… I prefer the air.”

Thurnax released from her Poké Ball. I only brought her to test out that Mega Stone Lance gave me. But she’s definitely my strongest Pokémon at this point, either way. I’ve gotta find a Pokémon to test her new powers against. The graceful Dragonite landed on the beach before them, and it looked as if at least three of them were not, indeed, noobs after all.


On Two Island, there was not one thing of interest except for the marketplace (allegedly). The island was tiny, and while it had been somewhat modernized and inhabited in the past few years, there were still no more than a hundred or so people here, and aside from the market… there wasn’t anywhere else to go.

There were a whole lot of Growlithes, however, and they all seemed to be in the service of the island’s Officer Jenny. Officer Jenny is so pretty. I wonder if she dyes her hair blue or if that’s all natural baby.

Rahul was complaining about the price of Lava Cookies. “Two hundred Poké Dollars apiece, are you kidding me? I should be able to buy a dozen for half that…”

“If you don’t like our prices, you can shut up,” the merchant, a fat man with a painted green curled mustache and a gorgeous green-and-white bonnet smiled. “We’re the only seller of Lava Cookies in the Sevii Islands, so suck it up!”

Rahul looked entirely pissed off, but he threw his money in the man’s face even so. That’s the big man I know, Ryan thought happily.

“I’ll take ten orders,” Logan said hastily, after Rahul had gotten his fill.

“Where’d you get that kind of money?” Ryan asked him, entirely shocked at how much he was willing to spend on those stupid cookies.

“It’s my life’s savings yo!”

“That’s crazy. You should save your life’s savings,” Alex counseled.

“Thanks for the tip, Alex. I’ll keep that in mind next time.”

The merchant was very pleased, and he threw in a free jug of MooMoo Milk to go along with the cookies, but Logan merely poured that into the ocean once they got out of sight of the man.

Rahul nearly fainted. “Are you kidding me?! Are you kidding me…?!” He was half laughing to himself, half stuttering in disbelief. “I could’ve drank that for you! I love MooMoo Milk! You wasted it all!”

“Well, it was mine, not yours, Rahul. And I get to do whatever I want with my–”

“Halt right there!”

They froze like bugs pretending to be space aliens on the outside of an F18 windshield that also somehow showed up on radar, but let’s not question that because that is more likely than literally anything else.

“Huh?” Logan screamed, jumping back as a Growlithe snarled at him.

Officer Jenny pointed at him rudely. “You… oh, my apologies! I thought you were that thief!”

“What thief?”

“The one who’s been stealing all the food from the marketplace…” the woman said, her voice lowering. “I’m sorry. You looked like him from behind… but he had black hair.”

“Are you sure it wasn’t Rahul?”

She looked at Rahul and shook her head swiftly. “No, no. He didn’t look anything like that. You four better watch out for him, though. He’ll steal from anyone… even other kids.”

“Hey, we aren’t kids!” Ryan complained. “Look, Rahul even grew a goatee. How many kids can do that?”

“Well, um, okay… but just be on the lookout for him, okay? He’s dangerous. He seems to have psychic powers.”

Alex’s ears perked up. “What does that mean? He can move things with his mind?”

“Uh huh,” Jenny replied. “And he was able to freeze all of my Growlithe in place. Watch out for him, alright? Well anyways, I better get back on my patrol… Sorry about scaring you guys like that!”

She wandered off awkwardly.

Alex narrowed his eyes, scanning the sea again. “That’s strange. Most people don’t have psychic powers… I wonder…”

“What about all those kids who turn into Kadabra, huh?” Logan retorted. “They don’t teach you about that in school! It could happen to any of us!”

“I think not.”

“What is it, Alex?” Ryan asked him.

“Nothing. Let’s go to that spa.”

Strange. I didn’t see anything particularly weird about what Jenny said… am I missing something? Maybe he was, and maybe he wasn’t, but Ryan barely cared. He was on vacation, and that meant he was in vacation mode–he didn’t like to think critically in vacation mode. I’m looking forward to that spa… and I bet all my buddies are too. He wondered vaguely if he’d be able to fit Thurnax inside, but considering Rahul would be allowed in, that hardly seemed like something to worry about.


It was very late by the time they returned to Resort Gorgeous. Thurnax was tired from all the flying, and the other Pokémon were likewise ready for bed. Logan and Alex were arguing about the viability of various eeveelutions, and Rahul was waxing poetic to Ryan about a man named Chunk Ugo’gir when they noticed, standing on the beach, in the moonlight, a young girl with purple hair talking in a very angry tone with old noble Sebastian, bless his whiskers.

“You don’t get it!” she was saying. “We’ve gone everywhere… all the other hotels are booked. You have to have room for us in there! You must! We’re not leaving again!”

“I’m afraid the only unfilled room is the luxury suite, which can hold upwards of twelve people. However, it is being rented by four individuals who are… blimey, look, there they are!”

She spun, her cheeks rosy red. Jessica. Are you kidding me?!

“You would have to stay with them… however, we cannot force them to accept you. You would have to convince them to let you use one of their spare rooms, and even then, you would have to pay full price… it’s our policy, after all.”

The rest of the world melted away, and it was just him and her, tempered by the heat in his throat. For a moment, she looked lost. Then her instincts kicked in, like a fire alighting in her eyes. “Well, well, well… look what the tide dragged in. I didn’t think we’d be meeting again this soon, Ryan.”

She enunciated his name with the foulness of a nameless thing. Katagiri croaked from his shoulder, as if daring her to back her words up with any sort of meaning. That’s right, boy. We’re not afraid of her. But simply stating something didn’t make it so. He could not so much as change reality with a thought.

“What are you doing down here?” he asked her, approaching with the others behind him.

“None of your business.”

“You’re right. I don’t care why you’re here, or what you’re doing. I’m just on vacation with my friends.”

It was precisely at that moment that Rahul said, “If you call him the Indigo League Champion, we’ll let you stay with us.”

You horrible fool! “Rahul, what are you doing?!”

“Shush, Ryan. Trust me, I know what the ladies like.” He grinned wide, his white teeth sparkling in the moonlight. “And I saw the way you two looked at each other. Come on then, what’ll it be…?”

She looked utterly embarrassed and utterly enraged. Jessica’s eyes did look a little cute in the moonlight, though, he had to admit. But why… why couldn’t he just let it go? Swallowing, Ryan looked away, and he only noticed with his peripheral vision that she had pulled a Poké Ball from her belt.

Episode 2: Bye Bye Butterboy

Ryan pointed at her boldly. “I’m going to smoke you! Logan, get the rotisserie ready!”

“If you think things are going to be just like they were last time, you’re sadly mistaken!” Jessica responded, gritting her teeth. “My Pokémon have become much stronger since then!”

“Yeah well I’m the Indigo League Champion, so wooooohooooo!” A shiver went down his spine; it felt good to tell her that, although she probably already knew. “I’m immortal!”

She grasped a Poké Ball in her right hand. It looked real menacing. “Shut your face before I make you!”

“Children, children, adolescents and teenagers!” Sebastian the butler said in a droll tone as he tugged on his mustache. “Please settle down. There will be no Pokémon battling at this hour of the night! If you even wake up one of my distinguished, loyal paying customers, I’ll kick all of you out!”

That was a nasty threat, and Ryan half wanted to throw that old gizzard into the sea for daring to make it. But they couldn’t afford to sleep on the beach, especially not on the very first night of their glorious vacation, so he begrudgingly pocketed Thurnax’s ball, and motioned for the others to follow him inside. He didn’t so much as look at Jessica. She followed with two adults, and Ryan was struck by the fact that she probably needed them.

Luckily, the suite he had reserved had multiple rooms, each separated by paper-thin walls and shoddy-looking doors. Ryan had primarily chosen to rent out that room so that Alex could get some peace and quiet whenever his brothers called him up to ask him about the dishes, but as we don’t speak of the dark times, that’s the last time Ryan ever thought about that.

By the time they had all crowded their way inside the main hall of the champion’s suite, that weird looking fellow who Ryan could only assume was Jessica’s father had wandered into Ryan’s and Logan’s room, noticing the pile of Lava Cookies stacked boldly upon a table. Without asking anyone, he walked right up to the plate, took the cookie second from the top (the choicest one), and bit into it.

Logan screamed and threw a Poké Ball into the side of that dude’s face. He dropped the cookie, which was kind of sad, but Ryan didn’t really see the big deal–he much preferred MooMoo Milk, personally. The man let out a dramatic shriek and fell, the cookie crumbling all over the carpet. Dang, someone’s gonna have to clean that up. Out came Echo, Logan’s steadfast Scyther, and after he made a few swipes at the man’s long blue hair, slicing open his shirt and just barely missing one of the important arteries, surely, the thief got the message and ran scampering back to his side of the suite.

Jessica looked rather embarrassed as she stood in the doorway to her room glaring at Ryan. Her mother yelled shrilly, “James, what are you doing?”

“Aw… come on, Jessie, I was hungry! It’s almost midnight… we can’t even get room service! And besides, our room doesn’t even have a mini fridge!”

“Get over yourself, you imbecile!”

Man he’s pathetic, just like that kid we met on the beach. However, this James fellow was nothing like that other guy, so such a comparison was nonsensical at best.

“Just you wait,” Jessica breathed, her cheeks flushed deeply.

“What about that Gilly guy, though? Why didn’t you bring him along?”

“He had to do the laundry, and I never heard from him again.”

“A likely story!” Logan sneered, pointing rudely at Jessica. “Don’t trust her, Ryan, she’s got somethin’ cookin’. Look at her eyes, she’s a demon! She literally crawled out from under a rock, and I bet underneath all that makeup she has green-looking skin… And I just know when nobody’s watching, she runs around screaming that Poké Sm4sh is the best one of all!”

She stuttered, “Y-you take that back…!”

“Come on, be natural! Show everyone your true colors!”

“C sharp!” Ryan interjected to little fanfare and no applause.

“Aw, I’m so hungry,” James complained, falling to his knees, and staring lustily at the plate of cookies. “Come on, can’t I have just one more bite, pleeeease?!”

“You’re a literal vampire potbelly goblin!” Logan countered. “Thank you and goodnight.”

He flicked his wrist, and Echo shot forward, slamming Jessica’s door shut. “If you open that door, Echo’ll send all of you to the moon!”

There was no reply from behind that door, although Ryan could have sworn he heard one of the lamps getting thrown into something that was not inanimate, but that was just speculation.

“You should’ve bought enough cookies for all of us,” Rahul complained to Logan. “Don’t you know that you can’t even get those in Kanto? I’ve been dying for some Lava Cookies for hours!”

“Then go win a Pokémon League and make big Poké Bucks and buy yourself a whole storage container full of ‘em!”

With that, Logan slammed the door to Ryan’s and his room as well.

“Whoa man, you seem pretty pissed off,” Ryan observed coolly. “Chill out. It’s just some cookies.”

“You don’t understand, Ryan. Granddaddy Clefable is a great and terrible ruler! He demands perfection from all of his subjects! He’s going to make me pay for that cookie!”

“Well this is the first I’m hearing of Granddaddy Clefable, and let me tell you something, I couldn’t care less about whoever the heck that jabroni is.”

“Ryan, you better not be so lackadaisical in his presence, or he’ll get real furious.”

“And then what? Is he going to throw me into the ocean?”

Logan calmed in an instant, a tiny smirk coming to his face. “You wish. Just don’t say anything, how about that? It’s better when you don’t talk, because then you can’t make a fool of yourself.”

“Alright sounds good,” Ryan yawned. “Well anyways, considering I paid for this trip, I think you should be pretty happy with how things have turned out.”

“I won’t be happy until I sail to the moon with all the Clefairy and Clefable!” the other boy said madly.

I wonder if he had too much MooMoo Milk. The boy’s actions reminded Ryan suddenly of Kelly, and he remembered how much he missed her. The mood dimmed in an instant. “Well anyways, you should keep your nonsense to yourself, man. I gotta get some sleep. I’d prefer if I didn’t wake up in the middle of the night to find you rambling in the corner to yourself like I did back during the Indigo League.”

Logan’s icy blue eyes grew wide. “Oh my Deoxys, Ryan, you heard that?!”

“Well, I wasn’t going to mention it, but then you decided to room with me again instead of Rahul.”

“That’s because Rahul never stops talking about Derny Sandcastle. I can’t stand it. I dunno how Alex puts up with it.”

“You coming with us to the Ember Spa tomorrow?” Ryan asked him.

“Nah, I gotta visit my fam, fam.”

Man this guy’s going off the deep end. Granddaddy Clefable must be really important. He can’t be faking this. Nobody can be this neurotic on purpose. “Don’t ever say that again, goodnight.”

“Neieieieueueuaua!” Katagiri chirped politely from Ryan’s shoulder.

“Goodnight heretic,” the other simply replied, returning Echo to his ball.

Katagiri was a passive boy, a good boy, the best boy, reminding Ryan very much of Alakazam before he had evolved. There was a certain regalness about the pose he assumed on Ryan’s shoulder, his chest puffed out, his shoulders stout and high, his gaze withering and distant, that suggested, beneath the blanketed veil of imperial grace, a certain awkward artlessness that he had adopted in his infancy, mimicking Ryan himself. There was no point to this speculation, Ryan knew, but focusing on anything but Granddaddy Clefable and his troupe of Alpha Centauri exiles was to be preferred.

He waited until Logan had fallen asleep before stealing a cookie of his own.


The next day, Rahul rose at the crack of noon and beckoned Alex and Ryan come with him to the Ember Spa on One Island, which was annoyingly far away from Resort Gorgeous. He would have invited Logan too, but he had already left before anyone else had woken up, and surely he was off doing something very important that will be expanded upon immensely at some point, maybe.

Alex didn’t want to go in the spa again, after visiting it with everyone else last night.

“Oh, come on, Alex, are you serious?! You have to come with us, it’s the best, there’s going to be so many people there… you can relax, finally!”

There’s never a moment’s rest for Dishmaster Supreme, Ryan knew. He wondered how Alex was dealing with his sacred duty now that he was so far from home; indeed, Alex had been furiously texting on his phone throughout most of their time awake so far, no doubt relaying instructions about how to do a perfect dishes run for the best brother of all, Dean.

Regardless, Alex was stubborn as a Bonsly, and he would not be swayed. The most he agreed to do was go to One Island with them, but that was because he wanted to see Mount Ember, for reasons that are too obscure for Rahul or Ryan to comprehend.

They arrived at One Island after an unspecified amount of time and proceeded down Kindle Road, where they encountered a balding man with cracked glasses screaming, “Don’t run into the Tall Grass!”

Rahul sprayed himself in the eyes with Max Repel, but he didn’t even cry, so Ryan kind of respected him a little.

As they were walking, suddenly, Rahul stopped and pointed at Ryan. “Hey, what’s your Froakie holding, Ryan?”

“Huh?”

“It looks like a piece of candy,” Alex stated.

Indeed, the thing that Katagiri was clutching between his froggy little paws was a round blue ball with a red ‘F’ painted on one side. It smelled very sweet.

“Whoa, what is it?” Rahul asked.

“Whatever it is, it’s definitely not rare candy.” The Indigo League Champion did not hesitate to toss the piece of candy into his mouth. “Oh man, that’s pretty good. Do you have any more of those, Katagiri? Where’d you find it anyways?”

“Veeero!”

If I pretend like I understand what he’s saying, everyone will be a lot more impressed with me. “Yeah, alright, sounds good.”

“What’d he say?” asked Alex.

“Oooh, he just said that was a treat he made ‘specially for me. Sorry Rahul… next time I’ll ask him to make you one too.”

Rahul looked rather peeved. “You better.”

As they reached the hot springs, which were located at the far northern peak of the island, in a rather remote and barren and un-peopled region of One Island, nary a wild Pokémon or rustled Legendary Denier to be found, a young red-haired boy who looked like he had just bawled his eyes out for the camera came sprinting out of a hole in the rocky, mountainous, hilly conglomerate that surrounded the trail like Beedrill nests. Steam drifted up from the entrance to the Ember Spa behind him, and it looked as if for a moment, vapor was rising from his own skin, like he was melting.

Too bad he didn’t.

“Woo, I’m a creeper, but I’m not creepy! Hahah, I make myself laugh,” he laughed, sticking his tongue out to the side. “Doo doo doo, I challenge you!” the boy said clumsily, pointing at Ryan.

Why’s it always gotta be me, yo?! “No, that’s quite alright. Why don’t you just move along?”

“Yeah, why do you want to challenge him anyways?” Alex said. “Don’t you know who he is?”

The boy shook his head dispassionately. “Meh, who cares?”

This dude’s an absolute scrub. “Why do you even want to fight me?” Ryan asked. “I literally just met you.”

“Your bandana doesn’t match the rest of your outfit,” the boy said, snickering to himself. It’s always excellent when the only person laughing at the joke is the one who made it, but Ryan couldn’t fault him too much for that rookie mistake, for he too succumbed to such cringeyness on a daily basis. “Dere, I said it. Fight me!”

A little baby Magmar flew out of a Safari Ball.

“You do know that I got this little guy, right?” Ryan said, scratching Katagiri behind the ear. “He’ll just use Bubble and it’s game over, man.”

“Calm down. Just because we’re in the middle of a Pokémon fight doesn’t mean you can criticize me. Doo doo doo, I didn’t MEAN you had to use a Water Pokémon, jeez. By the way, the whole reason I chose him was because in that episode where Dio called Jojo a man who was a–”

“Okay, I’m going stop you right there. First off, nobody gets the reference, and secondly, I hate that song! Katagiri, end this fool with a Bubble!”

The little Magby, who looked more than a little like his master, fainted before the red-haired boy could think up anything clever in response. “…” said the trainer. “What the heck?! How did you do that? That’s no fair, I don’t want to play this game anymore. Goodbye. Not for real doo doo doo but I want to bring attention to myself again.”

“Alright, good luck with that,” Rahul grunted, ushering Ryan into the Ember Spa’s entrance.

“Oh. Oh, oh, look at me! Don’t you feel sorry for me? He took out my Magby in one move. I can’t believe it. My favorite Pokétuber said Magby is the best baby Pokémon of all time! It’s not fair. Life isn’t fair! I should be able to beat him with ANY of my Pokémon.”

Alex folded his arms and looked mighty unimpressed. “That lazy, self-pitying attitude won’t make anyone sympathetic towards you. You’re just being pathetic.”

“Wow, okay. I don’t think you understand. I bought the girl I like a fifty Poké Dollar necklace for Pokémas, alright?! Does that make me a bad person…? Really? You should be praising me. It’s not a humblebrag if it’s real life. I’m being serious right now. I didn’t share that information for any other reason than to gain a little sympathy, and you can’t even give me THAT? Seriously? That should be good enough for you. Wasn’t I a nice guy? Why doesn’t she love me?”

“Look man, we’ve all got our issues. Do you honestly think whining about yours in front of me is going to accomplish anything?”

Ryan wanted to stay and watch, but Rahul simply dragged him into the steaming maw by the wrist. He really likes feeling good all the time. I wish I could be like him, but then my brain would atrophy before I even get back home.

The hot springs of the fabled Ember Spa were arranged like a series of pools, which to a bathhouse regular like Rahul made more aesthetic sense than fairly opaque crop circles, but I digress. There was a tepid pool nearby, and that’s where several no good mediocre plebeians were lounging about, discussing the multifaceted, love-fear dysphoria rendered viable only by overloads of dimethyltryptamine leaking out of one’s third eye.

A bit further back, there was a pool with a Charizard and a Mankey, and Rahul didn’t want to disturb them, so they climbed the ladders that were on the side of the pool because why not, all hot springs should be connected via ladders. They eventually found one that was, while not unoccupied, at least pretty hot. And that was pretty hot, of course.

“Hey Ryan, look, it’s Chunk.”

“Cluck who now?” the boy replied, slightly absentmindedly.

“He’s the leader of the Middle-aged Turks,” Rahul said with awe. “Literally, here,” he said, bringing out his phone, and in a blink of an eye texting Ryan at least fourteen videos, several of which were more than fifty-five minutes long, that he should watch post-haste, if he was to become as enlightened as the big man. “Get back to me when you’re done.

“Sure,” Ryan replied, pocketing his phone without even marking the messages as read, for to do so would just be getting a goatee boy’s hopes up for no good reason.

“So where were we?” Chunk said, clearing his throat. He wore a bath towel in the water, which was just a obnoxious. It was floating all around him like a colony of Weedlings surrounding their master. Chunk looked upon Ryan with a grim and ferocious look. “The second you qualify justice, it doesn’t become justice anymore, haha! Google that, and you’ll learn the truth, here,” he said curtly, throwing a business card at Ryan, but Ryan didn’t catch it.

“Who the heck is this guy, Rahul?”

“Quiet, Ryan, let him speak! Don’t be rude! Only a coward attempts to talk over their opposition, but we’re not going to let that happen again!!”

“Look,” Chunk said, waving his arms around wildly, “nobody’s saying that Poké Balls are prisons, okay? Heh, like really, who’s saying that? I can’t think of one person. But let’s not act like stuffing these poor little creatures into tiny mechanical, sterile, cold, uncomfortable balls is morally defensible, okay? Like, really, just google it. I’m sorry if you–ahem–lack the mental intelligence to comprehend this simple point, but really, the facts are all laid out for you to understand… It’s not my fault if you can’t. We’re not babies anymore. Not everything’s going to be spoon-fed to you, alright?”

A tear came to Rahul’s eye. He began to clap as Chunk stood up, the towel falling from his waist, leaving a man who wore nothing but a red speedo. I’m not surprised that’s his favorite color, Ryan thought. “Isn’t he amazing, Ryan? He speaks with such authority and clarity. We’ve been missing a Pokémon activist like him forever!”

“But what exactly am I supposed to google?”

Chunk Ugo’gir laughed dismissively. “Look, I don’t have time to go through every little point and get bogged down in the minutia of low-brow argumentation–look, we all know what this tactic really is (the same dirty tactic you Poképhiles always like to use)–this is the same line of reasoning employed by several Nurse Joys last time I talked about it in Celadon City… But that’s beside the point. Look… there is a clear and present danger in harvesting and cultivating Pokémon as mindless warrior-drones for a corporatist society… we need to put an end to this right now, today… And it can only start with every single Pokémon Trainer out there handing over all of his or her Poké Balls and releasing all of their Pokémon into the wild. My idea is safe, harmless, and nobody gets hurt. And most importantly, it’s like socking the corporitists in the eye with a left hook out of nowhere, heh, I’ll tell ya what.

“Why haven’t we done this already, as a society? Why would anyone be opposed to this? I’ll tell you why. It’s those Pokémon League corportists who just want to make yet another pretty Poké Penny off your hard earned work. Well enough is enough, and quite frankly I don’t understand why everyone isn’t up in arms over this. It’s disgraceful, disgusting, repugnant, outrageous. Just google it.

“It’s there–right there in plain sight why they don’t want their ad revenue profits to decrease under any circumstances. They’re greedy! Greedy!! Let me spell it out for you again: g-r-e-d-y. Greedy corportists don’t have a place in our new society! Oh, that’s the real game, isn’t it? As soon as the money stops flowing then we have a problem. It’s all out there for you to find. Just look it up. I can’t even discuss this–no, no, oooookay, let’s get back on track here and settle down juuuuuust a bit–I can’t even entertain the perverted ideology that Pokémon only exist to serve the sick, depraved, primitive needs of human beings!!” A wry smile blossomed on his toadish face. “Um, news flash people, we can’t own Pokémon in the same way we can’t own people. It’s really that simple… I don’t know what else there is to discuss. Case closed.”

Is this guy serious?

Rahul stepped into the spa, slipped on the first step, and belly-flopped right in front of Mr. Intellectual, spraying him with hot, steaming water. Chunk cursed him and even called him a Voltorb, but Rahul was underwater when he said all those things, so he never heard them, and Ryan wasn’t about to be a snitch: not now, not ever, not even for a little extra in the back room.

In truth, Ryan was growing bored with this guy and Rahul’s adoration of him, and he literally could not care less about what that guy was talking about. He clearly has no idea what it means to have a bond with Pokémon… to battle together, to persevere against hardship together, to rise above our challenges together… It’s not about domination at all. He doesn’t understand the fundamental bond between Trainer and Pokémon. It just shows he has no personal experience with that kind of thing.

“Isn’t Mr. Ugo’gir inspiring, Ryan? I shared his speech on Pokébook in a few dozen bite-sized chunks,” Rahul said proudly, waving his phone around. “That way I know you’re watching. That’s right, I’m doing good for the world! Darn it, I’m here to make the world a better place for everyone… not just Pokémon Trainers! I’m an internet activist.”

Why did I choose to go on vacation with these people?

“Well, yeah, it’s time to scoot,” Chunk muttered as he obnoxiously wrapped his finger around the curly little hairs around his nipple. “You in? What do you say?” He looked from Rahul to Ryan and back again, flinging them each another business card. “Just promise you can’t always pretend to be neutral–can’t always pretend to be a robot–and we’re good, alright? Are you down for fighting against the corrupt, corportist, weak, spineless, totalitarian, fascist, Pokémonist government?! Well, are you? I need an answer. Heh, you can’t sit on the fence about this issue, boys and girls–this affects people’s livelihoods! This is serious. This is the real world. Buckle up.”

“Oh yeah,” Rahul said with a slow grin, nodding his head like a well-groomed Furfrou about to be given some sweet meats by loving master, “I’m totally down. Hey, Ryan, you in?”

This is exactly how cults are started, Ryan realized.

“Greeeeeeeh!” Katagiri chirped.

“So, I guess I’ll take that as a yes.”

“Nah, Rahul, I’m going to sit this one out.”

“Oh. Okay. Well, in that case,” Rahul said, adjusting his goatee and deepening his voice, “let’s go, Mr. Ugo’gir. The world needs to hear about your brand of Pokémon justice as the leader of the most intellectual political movement of my lifetime, the Middle-aged Turks!”

“But Rahul,” Ryan interjected, testing the waters with a single big toe (his favorite, to be sure), “you aren’t even close to being middle-aged, and this guy looks like Froggy G after taking a dirtnap in the Mojave Desert.

“I don’t understand the reference, so…” Rahul shrugged. “Anyways, tell Alex that I’m going to be gone for a while. I may stop by his family’s summer home in Viridian City if I get the chance.”

“Rahul… what the heck are you talking about? You were the one who wanted to come down here in the first place! You were the one who swore to me that the Sevii Islands were a great place to spend our well-earned siesta!!”

Nonplussed, the big man replied, “Yeah, that’s true. And they are.”

“Don’t you think it’s a little crazy to just run off with some random dude you met in a hot springs?”

“No, no, no… I wouldn’t phrase it like that.” He was stroking his goatee, as if he were thinking. Ryan always hated it when Rahul played pretend. “You see, the Middle-aged Turks’ message grabbed ahold of me, and now I just have to act on it! I was a star, Ryan… an internet activist! I’m making a difference. You wouldn’t believe how many links I posted on my Pokébook wall… that’s real change. That’s substance. That’s eyeballs on a screen, plenty of clicks, tons of likes.

“Now I feel the calling to join the ground game. Mr. Ugo’gir is responsible for bringing so much weight and nuance and care and thought into this discussion. He’s a great guy–he supported Derny Sandcastle, don’t you remember? But then when Derny was swindled out of being nominated for mayor of Saffron City by a corrupt political machine, Mr. Ugo-gir jumped on that political bandwagon because he knows when to fight corruption and when to look the other way! He has a level of maturity and intellect that I don’t think you can quite appreciate at your age, Ryan, but perhaps one day you’ll open your eyes and see.”

All this made Ryan feel really tired, and he missed that Magby kid, for he very much wanted to OHKO that Magby several more times in a row. “Well, you’re insane, but you’re not as insane as Logan, so have fun.”

And then they were gone. Vanishing into the mist, Chunk at no point approached any of the cubbies or pack areas to get his clothes. He just walked right out of the Ember Spa in his red speedo, and Ryan felt as if he could hardly make sense of the world anymore. What’s happening to everyone? Why are they all acting so irrational?

He didn’t much feel like relaxing in the spa anymore, although Katagiri seemed to want to stay. “I’m sorry buddy; we need to go talk to Alex about this.”

Katagiri whined. I want to be lazy too. And I wish Rahul meant as little to me as he does to you, because that feeling is definitely being reciprocated…

He looked out over the hot springs. He swore he saw that Rustled David guy sitting in a pool not far from him, shirtless, bare-chested, rambling to his compatriot (a queer-looking Wartortle) that Ultra Maximum was an amazing movie, simply the best, and anyone who didn’t like it was a horrible person and a stupid one at that.

“Did you see the pecs on Brad Van Darn? Or how he took out all those bad guys all by himself?” David was saying in a high-pitched voice that carried across the water more effectively than a wild Butterfree’s Sleep Powder. “That’s what they were going for in the movie–they literally wanted all the fangirls and fanboys to drool over him. That’s what their intent was! You can’t say they failed… he’s so ripped! I could stare at him all day, Tortly! Couldn’t you?”

“War war,” muttered his companion.

Amidst the rising vapor and the heat, Ryan felt so alone. The pointlessness of all of this bore down upon him from every side, as if squeezing the life out of him. He had thought becoming champion of Kanto would make these feelings go away, but now more than ever, he didn’t know why he felt so hopelessly paralyzed.

Rahul walking off like that hurt him deep. But the moment self-pity flushed into his mind, he felt only revulsion at himself for being so weak. Ryan recalled what Alex had said to that boy with the Magby only a few minutes ago. Let it go dude, he told himself. You’re the champion. What is there to fear?

Already satiated, perhaps already having forgotten Rahul, Katagiri yawned, snuggling up against his neck, and fell asleep. Were it so easy.


“Yeah, I’m not surprised. He’ll be back, don’t worry.” Alex gazed out upon the shore. “There aren’t any powerful wild Pokémon on this island, so my training’s not been very effective. Are you ready to leave?”

Ryan nodded. “You gonna ride Tsunami back to the hotel?”

“Actually, I was thinking we should stop at Four Island.”

“Why there?”

“That’s where Prima lives.”

Ryan grinned. “Oh, I get it. Well, you have excellent tastes, sir. I gotta see this.”

“No, I don’t mean li–”

An explosion cut through the air, followed by a wall of fire that climbed its way up one of the ships at port. Then, Officer Jenny and her pack of Growlithe came into view. He could hear her voice, but could not make out what she shouting as she pointed up at the ship. A moment later, her five Puppy Pokémon unleashed another wall of fire upon the boat.

“Well, that can’t be good,” Alex sighed.

“You think we should see what’s up?”

“May as well. Maybe they found that thief they were looking for.”

“I don’t think trying to incinerate a thief is what most Officer Jennys would consider standout police behavior, Alex.”

“Oh, okay.”

Alex could jog, but running at a full sprint, he had a hard time keeping up with Ryan, so the champion waited politely for Alex to catch up to him. When finally Alex did reach the shore, Officer Jenny had already whistled for her Growlithe to retreat.

“Morning, officer,” Ryan said in a very mature tone. Yeah, that’s right. I’m a man, a real man, a man’s man. Just gotta act cool now, Ryan. Ease into it. “What seems to be the problem?”

Jenny shook her head. “Oh, it’s those darn Painted Dragons. They’re up to no good again. This time, it looks like one of their lieutenants has called in a fleet of his minions to surround Mount Ember!” She pointed at the volcano rising above the waves not so far offshore. Surrounding the tiny offshoot island were dozens of boats, ships, and vessels.

“They won’t let anyone enter Mount Ember! They’ve blocked off every one of the cruise liner routes as well!”

Alex reached them, finally, and Ryan was surprised that he didn’t ask them if they missed him, which was a crying shame. Can’t miss opportunities like that, yo. “So…” he said, catching his breath, “how long has this been going on?”

“Just started this morning. I heard that when Lieutenant Miyazaki landed on the shores of Mount Ember, he immediately forced every tourist to leave by threatening to take their Pokémon if they stayed.”

Ryan shook his fist at the sky. “The nerve!”

Alex’s gaze was beyond them. “There’s a reason they chose Mount Ember. Ryan, I’m sure you’ve heard of the legend of who lives at its peak?”

I don’t even remember what I ate for breakfast this morning. Luckily, he didn’t have to say that out loud, for as soon as Alex’s question had left his lips, two men jumped from the dog-scorched ship, Poké Balls in hand, their sleeveless blue-and-white striped shirts revealing arms covered in tattoos of Pokémon–some Ryan recognized, and many he did not. They were large men and tall with scarred, salt-beaten faces reflecting the harshness of lifetimes at sea.

“We’re taking this island. I’d suggest you start running,” the one with the brown beard and missing front teeth said.

“This island belongs to the Painted Dragons now! You better run before the Lieutenant gets here. He’s got a scorched-earth policy for resistors.”

Before Jenny could speak, Alex stepped forward, taking a Poké Ball out of his bag. Looking the two Dragons over without fear, he threw his ball, revealing a Gardevoir, slender as a melting candle, who now stood between the two groups.

I’ve never seen him use his Gardevoir before… these guys don’t know who they’re messing with!

Alex spoke commandingly, “Selena! Send these two back to where they came from.”

“Oh, that’s how it’s gonna be? I’m afraid it’s two-versus-one, punk. Don’t you want to call your friend over to help ya?”

“I don’t need him.”

Ryan shivered. Why’s he gotta be so cruel? I’m the champion, not him!

The clean-shaven man had only half a nose. He looked like he was twice as old as Ryan’s father.“Whatever. Your loss. Either way, I’m spoilin’ for a fight.”

“Ain’t nobody try to burn our ship. That’s good metal… the Visenya has been in service for longer than you’ve been alive, kid. And don’t think we’ve forgotten you,” the bearded fellow sneered, pointing a gnarled, stubby finger towards Officer Jenny. “You’ll get your turn, officer.”

“I’d like to see you try,” she smiled back. “But it looks like you have more pressing concerns.”

The waves were lapping against their ankles. Spitting, the bearded man threw his Poké Ball, revealing a Gurdurr; his companion quickly threw his ball, bringing out a Mightyena. It was pretty convenient Ryan knew the names of these Pokémon without Dex’s help, but he wasn’t complaining.

“Dazzling Gleam!” Alex said coolly.

As the wind picked up, the incoming waves began foaming at the tips. He never heard which attacks the Painted Dragons had planned, for Selena the Gardevoir was beyond them. One burst of light was all it took, echoless and unmerciful, and her combatants dropped. The waves came in and went out again, and both were returned. The pirates exchanged a look.

“Selena, prepa–”

“The boss’s comin’ for you, you can count on that!” the shorter, noseless one squeaked, leaning over, grabbing a handful of sand, and throwing it at Alex with the force and passion of a Hippowdon wannabe. Every grain turned to glass before reaching him.

They remained where they were standing for only a moment more before their survival instincts kicked in, and both men went running back to the smoking boat, knowing full well to remain any longer would surely see them being thrown rather far and rather hard into the rough-and-tumble battle theater that was the open ocean.

They don’t even know about his Gyarados. He could destroy them all.

Needless to say, when they wanted to flee, the two men were remarkably quick-thinking. Jenny had barely thanked Alex when the pirates’ boat started to ease out of port, the ropes falling from the dock, coiling deeply in the churning sapphire sea.

Something behind his eyes twitched, and his vision reset. “I got this,” he whispered, only allowing Alex to hear him. “I’ll be back, man.”

At no point did Ryan ever think this plan of his through rationally. At no point did he consider the irrationality of what he was doing. Shame had already buried its teeth in the softest parts of his mind. He was running; the ship was pulling away; Jenny let out a cry; a Growlithe howled with forlorn pleasure; Alex said nothing, merely folding his arms and watching in silence.

Ryan really tried to land the dismount. That would have been cool as heck. But the reality was that as he approached the edge of the dock, and as the little fishing boat started pulling away, the gap between the plank bridge and the water grew wider, and he couldn’t slow down.

I’m the Indigo League Champion, he thought to himself, gritting his teeth and leaping through the air, the dock behind, the blue, sun-soaked waters bubbling artificially as the boat cut through the currents. There’s no way these random guys can beat me. I’m good.

But at that moment, he crashed into the side railing, flipping hard over the edge and landing with a hard crash against the side of steering room. Stars exploded in his vision; Ryan gasped for air and reached for a Poké Ball, and that was when he felt the man jerk him up and up and up, a hard, calloused hand wrapped tightly around the boy’s neck.

Episode 3: Shiprekt

“Who the HFIL are you?” the pirate spat, gripping the boy’s neck tight.

Ryan side-armed his Poké Ball into the man’s fivehead. He thought it would be Thurnax in that ball, but alas, it was only his cream-colored Shenlong, his favorite Pokémon that he had never used to battle with before. Now’s a good a time as any, he thought sourly.

Now, Ryan had never used Shenlong before in combat, as nobody should ever use a Magikarp. But everyone wants to be cooler than everyone else, and admitting you made a mistake taking out Shenlong instead of Thurnax is beyond the aesthetic sensibilities of even a moderate swagboy. It’s much easier to roll with the tide and become a gravy robber when you grow up instead of trying to formulate your own gravy recipe, which could take hours if not several more hours to come up with on your own.

“Splash him, Shenlong! Splash him up real good!”

For a moment, the crusty old pirate with the curly brown beard just stood there staring at him like he was a bloody stool. Katagiri cried out, jumping from Ryan’s shoulder and running down the side of the ship, riding a cloud of bubbles. Well, that’s just sucks. He could’ve at least made his escape nimbus big enough for the both of us. But it was probably true that any such Pokécraft would not be able to sustain him whatsoever, bless his pure and innocent soul.

“Carp, carp, carp!” Shenlong sputtered, and a few drops of water went flying onto the man’s face. Surely he had never been humiliated in such a way before. This is only halfway, man.

The Painted Dragon, having already let go of Ryan when the Poké Ball had hit him in the head, now stumbled back even further, not wanting to get water in his eyes. The boy could empathize, but that still didn’t make him a good person. “Magikarp are the most common Pokémon we find in our trawling. But a shiny one like that… those are worth more than ten thousand regulars! Stand back, kid. That fishy fishy’s mine!”

“Shenlong, save yourself!”

“Carp carp!” Another Splash resulted in angering the old salty seadog just a little bit more, but nothing else seemed to happen. It was as if the move had no effect! That’s preposterous. How could Shenlong know a move that doesn’t do any damage? That’s unheard of, uncalled for, and entirely unavoidable! What does he actually know if it doesn’t do anything?

Instead of going for Shenlong, though, the man ran for Ryan, grabbing the bag that contained all of his Poké Balls, Lil Dex, and all of his potions, items, and other unmentionable goodies. The boy cried out, trying to pull it back, but the man was so much stronger than him, and in a breath, he had thrown Ryan’s bag into the sheltered bridge where the other Painted Dragon was doubtless whistling to himself about his blissful, utopian life on the open seas, ever bereft of the company of a good (or no good) sea woman (or people-looking Pokémon–pirates can’t be choosers).

The boy’s blood ran cold. Now it’s on. Nobody steals my Pokémon. “Alright, Shenlong, we’re gonna shake and bake!”

“Carp, Magikarp!”

He snatched up his Shenlong before the man could grab him, and in that moment, the skies grew dark. Silence befell the fishing boat, as Ryan and the Painted Dragon both looked out over the water to see what had changed. Amongst the fleet of Painted Dragons, a purveying fog of quietude grew more and more eerie. Then came the screeching of twisting metal, the wild rush of seawater, the interspersed hysteria of screaming men, many of them deciding to jump overboard rather than face the approaching tempest, breaking through the silence like icy punches to throat.

Alex. Goosebumps spread across his body. Tsunami the Gyarados let out a blood-curdling cry as he smashed into the most advanced of Lieutenant Miyazaki’s fleet. Gyarados beats boat. Gyarados beats all these jabronis. One after another, each of the Painted Dragons’ ships succumbed to Alex’s serpentine dragon who was not really a dragon, but let’s be real here, there ain’t no place for hot jive in Ryan’s thick and empty skull cavity.

A few wished to fight back with their Pokémon, but there was no time to fight back. Tsunami rammed into each boat with a Waterfall attack, and all the pirates and bad Pokémon went flying over the railing into the ocean, and each boat sank one after another. It was beautiful and aesthetically pleasing to anyone with even an adolescent sense of justice.

It only took about three minutes before half of the fleet was gone; it only took another before the pirate who had taken Ryan’s bag was shouting into the room, “Go on, then! He’s coming right for us, Shankers! Get us outta here!”

“But where? Are we gonna abandon the Lieutenant? He’s going to be so mad, a–”

“You heard me, Shankers! Take us back to the Isle of Flies, alright? Do I have to spell everything out to you, you noseless Slowbro?!”

It was marvelous to watch each ship fall one after another. All the destruction roused in Ryan a primordial and deep-seated lust for the total collapse of all coherency and rationality. Some, like the one Ryan was on, had moved so far away from One Island, that they were still safe, but they wouldn’t be for long. Even now, they were fleeing, but he didn’t know if they could all outspeed Alex’s Gyarados.

This was cause for celebration; Ryan grabbed Shenlong by the tail, ran at the tall bearded pirate, and whacked him hard in the back of the head with his Magikarp, and watched the man go flying over the edge.

The second pirate had not noticed, and instead was guiding their ship off to the Isle of Flies, an island Ryan had not seen on the map of the Sevii Islands he had studied for five or six seconds before deciding to come down here for their post-Indigo League vacation. This must be their secret base. I bet Officer Jenny’d like to know all about it.

Again, a sense of pride welled in the boy’s chest. He was going to solve this mystery of the Painted Dragons and what they were doing down here in Sevii. One Island and Mount Ember grew distant on the horizon; most of the ships fell away and were lost; only a small fleet of five or six of them had managed to get away in time.

He probably should have retrieved his bag already, but he didn’t want the other pirate to know he was still there. Either way, a few minutes later, as they broke clear of the Sevii archipelago, Ryan heard someone walk up behind him.

Thinking it was the other pirate, he swung Magikarp wildly at it, turning around, only to be met by a rather sour-looking Blastoise. The ugly bloke didn’t seem to like getting fish-slapped like that.

“Blastoise!” it roared with a bloviating tone that Ryan felt was quite uncalled for, given the circumstances.

There came Katagiri around the starboard side, chirped wildly. What’s got him so distressed?

“Oh, sorry about that,” the boy said quickly. “I didn’t mean to hit you in th–”

“Stoise!” The beast growled, unloading one of its cannons into Ryan’s face. He barely felt like he was flying back, flying off the ship. It didn’t even really feel like he was moving, just getting blasted in the face by a lot of water. It was as if the rest of the world was leaving him, not the other way around, and it hurt a lot. He tried to scream, but his mouth filled up with water, and he remembered no more.


“Ooh, come on, Jessie, I’ve had enough!” Dad complained. The trembling in his voice was unseemly.

“Snap out of it, James, we’re almost done!” Her voice was thin and threatening, like an Arcanine backed into a corner. “So, dear,” she said in a much more pleasant voice to Jessica, “how much longer are we going to be looking through this miserable old musty place? It’s getting late, wouldn’t you agree?”

“Until we find Mewtwo.”

Her father’s voice was shaking. “Mewtwo!! Mewtwo!! Come out, come out, wherever you are!”

Her mother hit him on the back of the head. “Not like that, you idiot! We’ll just scare him away!”

Jessica bit her lip. For the most part, she had learned to drown out her parents’ bickering with her thoughts, but that was harder to do when their voices were echoing through the ruins like this. Why do they have to be like this? I would get a headache if I acted like they did.

The Tanoby Ruins were totally abandoned. There weren’t even any Unown as there had been in years past. Neither Pokémon nor humans made their homes in these ancient, crumbling rocky enclosures that appeared more like lazy attempts at making bush mazes than the last markers of a long-forgotten civilization.

Yet, all three of them became quiet at once when they heard the footsteps of someone approaching them from the entrance. Jessica’s hand found her Poké Ball. She was ready… so very ready. Giovanni’s notes indicated that one of the Mewtwos who broke free was lairing down here only a few years ago. Where else could it have gone?

At that moment, a man in a brightly-colored buttoned up shirt painted liberally with tropical flowers came running into view. “Hi, I’m Ninoooooooo!” he said proudly, looking up to the cave ceiling, pointing off vaguely in their direction, and thrusting his chest out like a real man’s man. Oh, great. This is exactly why I left Gilly behind…

“Hi there,” her father said. “Have you happened to see any wild Mewtwo anywhere? Preferably nearer the exit d-door…”

“I don’t know anything about that, but come here, look at all these pictures I took of me being boss,” Nino said proudly, ushering them over. “Look, here’s a picture of me cleaning up the dock, and here’s another one of me cleaning up the boat, and here’s another one of me polishing the anchor!”

“Why are you showing us this?” Jessica asked.

“Because, as a trusted member of the Painted Dragons–one day I’ll become an Admin for sure!–I can show you three lovely tourists that we spare no expense! Please, if you have the time, call my Regional Underboss right now so you can put in a good word for me, and…”

“Gengar, shut him up right now,” Jessica seethed, releasing her most powerful Pokémon in a flash of purple light.

Nino the Painted Dragon froze, staring at the Gengar as one would a particularly poorly painted painting in a museum of all places. You belong in the ocean, if anywhere.

“N-now, now, you’re a horrible rotten charlatan, and I’m just giving you as good as you get, well, how about that?” Nino shouted. “No need to get all angry, okay? Let’s walk this off, okay? We’re all gentlemen here–and gentlewomen, heh, don’t let me forget!”

He was a bald man, an old man, a man smiling from the chopping block. And he’s a Painted Dragon… the worst kind of man of all. “Goodbye, Nino,” she said. “If you can swim, tell your Admin that Jessica of Team Rocket put you in your place, alright?”

“W-wait, how do I spell that?”

“Hex him, Gengar!”’

In the next moment, Nino was gone, and they were, mercifully, alone again. She returned her Gengar, turning to her parents. “This is the last set of Tanoby Ruins, and so far, there’s been no sign of Mewtwo. Maybe Giovanni’s records were incomplete… or maybe he just didn’t have a clue.”

“Eek, did you see how far that guy flew?!” her father yelled. “That brings back old memories, doesn’t it, Jessie?!”

“Quiet, James!”

“But Jessie, I’m hungry! It’s almost lunch time, and we haven’t even found Mewtwo yet. I’m about to be famished, I can just tell! It’s been nearly thirty minutes since second breakfast, and I’m not sure I’ll be able to cope for much longer!”

The three of them walked to the entrance of the Tanoby Ruins, looking out over the water to the shore of Seven Island beyond. They might’ve driven him out… it’s just a question of where he went. Regardless, these Painted Dragons are becoming a thorn in my side. I need to deal with them as Giovanni would have.

“Father, Mother, there’s a Painted Dragon Base just ahead. They control the port at the southern tip of Seven Island. We’re going to smash them, cripple them, and then continue our search. Do you have any questions?”

“Yeah, what's for lunch?” her father asked.

If I were Mewtwo and the Painted Dragons invaded my solitude, where would I go? Seven Island was a vast and undeveloped island with a minimal population. They had passed the Painted Dragons’ base on the way here, and had not dealt with it simply to focus on finding Mewtwo first. But now that it appeared people like Nino were going through the ruins… it seemed likely they had already scoured this place for its Unowns as well. Mewtwo would be long gone.

“I’m sure they have plenty of food back at the port, James. We can get something after we clear out all those miserable ruffians!”

They’ve spread to Six Island and One Island and Five Island, but they haven’t reached Two Island, Three Island, or Four Island yet. If I can prevent their spread and cripple them, their operations in Kanto will likewise never return to previous levels. I must do this for the future of Team Rocket.

Her parents were bickering about the cost of Magikarp meat; the wind was picking up again, out over the shore. A storm was coming in. She would have to move quickly.


“Nice Gyarados,” Logan greeted him from the shore, an empty bottle of MooMoo Milk clutched in his hand.

“Nice of you to finally show up,” Alex replied coldly.

“Hey, I was busy…! So what’s up? Where’s Ryan and Rahul?”

“The big man’s gone.”

“Gone?”

“That’s right.”

“What do you mean?”

“Do you have trouble hearing, Logan?”

The blue-eyed boy scowled. “Can’t you just tell me where he went?”

“I have no idea.”

“Great. Where’s Ryan?”

Alex shrugged. “He may put up with your nonsense, but I’m not going to.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

“It means if I hear one mention of your Clefairy Cult, I’ll leave you behind.”

“That’s some cold lotion, Alex.”

But Alex didn’t really care, and he kind of shrugged a little bit to make himself look a little less harsh, but all the same, he despised Logan, and if there was one thing Alex was poor at doing, it was hiding contempt for people who really deserved it. “There’s a Painted Dragon operation going on right now at Mount Ember. You going to help me stop it or what?”

Logan looked wounded, as if he had been shot in the spleen by a crossbow. “What…? Right now? Today?

“That’s right.”

“Alright, but you owe me bigtime!”

“I don’t owe you anything,” Alex responded. “You going to surf over there on your Squirtle again?”

“W-well… I’ll have you know, Murr’s a brilliant swimmer!”

“You can jump on Tsunami if you want,” Alex said. “And you won’t even owe me anything in return.”

“Preposterous. There’s always a cost!”

Alex jumped back onto Tsunami’s back. “Of course there is. Maybe if you weren’t so self-absorbed with your cookies and your Clefairy godmother–”

“That’s my Granddaddy Clefable to you, sir!”

“Oh, okay.”

“You’re mocking me, aren’t you Alex?”

“Are you getting on, or what? We don’t have much time.”

“Or what?”

“Or I’ll leave you behind and you won’t get to tell Ryan about how brave and helpful you were when he comes back.”

“He’s coming back?”

“He said he would. Don’t you believe him?”

“No, I don’t believe a word that guy says.”

Alex shook his head. “Stop wasting time and get on. We have to stop Lieutenant Miyazaki from finding and capturing the Moltres living at the peak of Mount Ember. There’s bound to be a lot of Painted Dragons between us and the peak, though. So you better be prepared.”

“But what if I’m not, Alex?”

“That’s not my problem.”

Tsunami growled impatiently. Logan quivered like a Mareep. Alex gave him a look, and the other boy jumped onto Tsunami’s back, just like that. How easily he been cowed into obedience. It was pathetic–almost as pathetic as anyone who didn’t consider Pokémon Melee to be the greatest game of all time (luckily Logan wasn’t stupid enough to get Alex off on a rant about Poké Sm4sh, and to that end, he was at least better than Ryan (but who wasn’t, really?)).

The Gyarados roared, and the skies blackened. They cut through the water in silence, and it was now apparent, even to young children of ignorance like Logan, that the flames shooting up from the peak of Mount Ember were not in fact a natural occurrence. One after another, the spires of flames shot up in jagged lines, as if they were being shot at something–or someone–in grim reprisal. The sky cracked with lightning, and Alex could feel in the air that the growing storm was not Tsunami’s doing after all.


There was a bit of sand in his hair, and slightly more in his mouth, and perhaps more than a few grains in his left ear. Blinking himself awake, Ryan glanced around to find himself on a deserted beach, neither ships nor Gyarados in sight.

What small consolation he did have was Shenlong sputtering in a pool of salt water disconnected from the gushing ocean waves, just a little further inland. There was only one Poké Ball in the boy’s pocket, and he used it to mercifully return his Magikarp to some small measure of comfort. His other Pokémon, along with the rest of the contents of his backpack, were still on that fishing boat… assuming it was still afloat. And if not, what then?

It was pointless getting scared now. He had to find a way home, first, and before that… “Katagiri!” His hoarse voice broke in the heat, and there was no response. “Katagiri! Where are you?!”

A bold-faced Pelipper landed on a rock not so far away, eyeing Ryan hungrily. I wonder how many people wash up on this shore just to be torn apart by the native, starving population of ugly ‘mons. Well, Ryan didn’t even know where he was, but it didn’t look familiar, so he hated it. If this was one of the Sevii Islands, there would at least be a port in view, or a derelict shack. This place appeared entirely untamed.

That’s not to say there was nothing on the shore. Trash littered the beach: broken bits of plastic, used potions, rusty Poké Balls. Well, not all of them were rusty, as Ryan soon found. He pocketed two Poké Balls and a Luxury Ball that all looked to be in rather fair condition, albeit full of sand. Spilling their contents out, he approached the rock the Pelipper was perched upon.

I bet he wants to peck out my eyes when I’m not looking. What a coward. Why didn’t he try already?

The bird squawked uncertainly as he approached. Something glimmered in the sand, just beneath the waterline. He scooped it up, realizing at once that the pink stone was polished smooth, semi-translucent and perfectly round. It reminded him of that stone Derceyes had given him for Thurnax. A Mega Stone… but for which Pokémon?

Now the Pelipper was flapping its wings and crying out loudly. That just wouldn’t do. “Don’t be disrespectful!” Ryan scolded it. “You be quiet! I’m the Indigo League Champion! How dare you speak to me in that tone!”

The beast took to flight and tried to ram into him with its beak. Diving out of the way, Ryan took out Shenlong’s Poké Ball again and threw it into the sand. “Come on, Shenlong, do something! You have to have an attack!”

“Carp, carp!”

Of all the Pokémon in the world…

“Pelipper!!” the Water Bird Pokémon screamed menacingly. It was a real scary bird call, one that could render even Lunar Magikarp impotent.

Shenlong froze as the audacious bird came roaring at it. It clutched Magikarp in its gigantic mouth (probably because it didn’t have any feet for some reason) and tried to take off with it, as if Shenlong was nothing more than its next meal.

“Hey, get back here you horrible, rotten, no good Pokémon I can’t even find one of in Kanto!” Ryan shook his fist at the sky, but that was no good.

Pelipper soared off with all the majesty of a Pokémon that doesn’t have any legs, let alone a neck. But Shenlong was rather terrified of being eaten, so it seemed, so he struggled, and struggled, and struggled again, and a moment later, Pelipper crashed into a sand dune not far away, the Magikarp flopping hysterically around in its mouth, forcing it to spit him out. Shenlong, the graceful tactician, proceeded to slap the bird in the face with his tail before sputtering out on the sand again where he proceeded to jump and flail and look altogether magisterial out of water, as he was.

The boy didn’t think twice and threw one of those sand-eaten Poké Balls at Pelipper. Coughing and blinking in a dazed way, the birdbrain didn’t even realize it had been captured. The ball landed delicately, and without incident, on the sand before disappearing into a flash of light a moment later.

“Well, that went easier than expected. Good work, Shenlong.”

“Carp, carp, carp, carp,” replied Shenlong.

I wonder if Magikarp even have a language or if they’re just pretending.

They set off around the island in search of Katagiri, finding little more than used PP up containers and Poké Balls that the waves must have snapped in half. No Painted Dragons anywhere… not even off-shore. Weird. Where could they be? Did Alex really take them all out?

But if Alex had taken them all out, as he was probably capable of, wouldn’t that mean that he was coming to find Ryan? There were no ships on the horizon, no Gyarados storming towards the shore. In fact, the sky was a pale blue, and there was not a cloud in sight. It was nigh midday, and Ryan’s belly was rumbling.

Being a deserted tropical island, there was necessarily a whole forest of coconut trees just beyond the beach. And it was getting pretty hot, so Ryan decided now was as good a time as ever to move the plot along. Calling for Katagiri, he found what looked like an abandoned newspaper stand with piles and piles of BRAND NEW HOT OFF THE PRESS ‘A ONE-EYED QUEEN ON THE RIVER’ EDITED BY UNCLE GEORGE OF ALL PEOPLE THESE ARE GOING TO SELL LIKE DRAGON EGGS!! AND DID WE MENTION THIS WONDERFUL SEQUEL, MUCH ANTICIPATED, SO MANY DAYS COMING, WAS EDITED BY UNCLE GEORGE? LINE UP, GET YOUR CASH READY, AND PRE-ORDER THE LATEST INSTALLMENT OF WILD CARDS, NUTTING ON THE RIVER TODAY!!

Nothing beside remained. Round the decay of that colossal wreck, boundless and bare, one could almost taste again those vain, craven, appentent headlines, a thousand mummer’s farces boiled together into the toughest leather, poking up from beneath the sands, proclaiming fervently that finally the American Tolkien had shown his face, too breathless in their own selfish desires to notice old Uncle George had instead chosen to feast upon the marrow of his own legacy instead, leaving in the end nothing worth reading, much like this entire paragraph. To call such a lazy, bitter man the American Tolkien is an insult to both America and Tolkien, but I digress.

A One-Eyed Queen on the River was all anyone could hope for, if their name was not Gus Hansen. Ryan, on the other hand, felt entirely sick having witnessed the newspaper stand wannabe, and he greatly lamented the fact that Magikarp did not know Fire Blast.

Further on in the jungle, Ryan came across what looked like a makeshift rock monument, partially collapsed into the sand with five stone slabs arranged almost like a star in a neat, deliberate pattern. Those things are taller than me, the boy realized. They must weigh tons… He was about to notice the strange, bipedal, human-like pictographs carved into each one, except that, precisely at this moment, Katagiri made himself known again.

He was stuck on the furthest rock from Ryan, perched on its peak like a stone Luxray. The only reason Ryan even noticed Katagiri was because of the floating Larvesta, propping itself up by spurts of fire, being chased by the naïve Froakie’s Bubble attack.

“Katagiri… what are you doing up there?”

“Greee!!”

“Katagiri… no!! Get down from there! What are you doing? That Larvesta’s going to roast you! Get down!”

“Froooooooooaaah!” Oh boy, he sounds like he wants to play.

Bubbles shot at the Larvesta, who was merely hovering in place, minding its own business, not for one instant believing that it could be attacked in such a dastardly way. And therein lay its folly. I’d think that a wild Pokémon like that jabroni would be able to dodge, at least. How did it survive this long if it’s so dang stupid?

Because the Larvesta was stupid, no pity should it garner when it flopped dramatically with a cry to the ground, its flames extinguished, the force of one or two Froakie bubbles making contact with its flesh enough to render it unconscious. And if there’s one thing Ryan had learned in his travels through Kanto, it was that an unconscious wild Pokémon was essentially the same as a Pokémon who did not exist, and it was his solemn duty as a Pokémon Trainer to not only keep his last empty Poké Ball in his pocket, but to pretend as if that Larvetar wasn’t actually there. But who could really blame Ryan? It wasn’t like there was any tall grass this deep into the island, so he could only pretend so much. However, with a few kicks, enough sand had been brushed over the fallen feral monster so as to make it almost unseeable, and that was really all anyone had been asking for anyways.

“Katagiri, come on, you can make it down from there. It’s just a rock!”

“Greeeeeeeeh!” the Froakie screamed nervously. He pranced back and forth from one edge to the next, making sure he could see everything Ryan could. He gave his master a dour look, as if to say, you try jumping down from here if you’re so confident.

The boy was in no mood to appease such anarchist babble. “If you don’t come down from there, I’ll have to leave you here, buddy. And who would want that?”

“Iieieieieieiie!”

“Exactly! Now come on, you can jump right into my arms, I’ll catch ya!”

Katagiri gave Ryan a dubious look, as if to suggest Ryan had no ability to actually catch him. And that really got Ryan mad–he had never needed to catch Katagiri because he had hatched the poor baby himself a long time ago. He barely even remembered it! But one thing he did remember was that he had that Luxury Ball in his pocket, and he had been saving it especially for this moment.

“Well, okay then. In that case, think fast!”

He threw the ball so fast, Katagiri barely had time to pirouette to look down upon his master again as he paced nervously upon the stone slab. The ball hit Katagiri in the side of the head, and he fell over like Rahul had that one time he’d leaned too far back in his chair while trying to take on a whole wave of Fuel Rod wielding Generals by himself (an ever hopeless venture, as Ryan had learned over the years). Nevertheless, Katagiri didn’t resist going in the ball, and he had no reason to. If he couldn’t be happy in a Luxury Ball, I don’t know what I’d do with him.

Everything was going along swimmingly, or perhaps Ryan was just an idiot who couldn’t read the pictographs of a test tube alien birthed in the sterile hostility of Team Rocket’s headquarters. Regardless, as soon as Katagiri’s ball had returned to him, he noticed a boy standing in the jungle, his arms folded, a scowl upon his face.

There was something wrong in the way he looked–it reminded Ryan of when Ditto tried to mimic various celebrities on TV game shows… only, this creature moved entirely alien to how a human would as well. It was on him in an instant.

“Leave.” Its lips never parted.

“Wh-wha… who are you? What the heck?!” Ryan jumped back, entirely unnerved. What the heck is going on here? “Are you one of the Painted Dragons?”

The ground shook; the boy’s entire figure seemed to melt like tomato soup left to boil over grandma’s stove (and Ryan had never heard an old lady curse so much before or since); His opponent’s eyes glowed blue with energy. His skin became grey-pink with his belly brightening into a green color. It was so unnatural it took his breath away. But he didn’t need the help.

The creature had a tail, and it was green too. It lunged at him, purple energy in its fist, dripping from its eye, and it tried once to hit him with the energy. Ryan recognized the attack as some sort of Psychic Type attack, but he didn’t know which one it was specifically.

“Please stop! I’m not trying to hurt you… I’m lost, okay? I’m just trying to get back to the Sevii Islands and find my–”

The energy split into a dozen little flecks of light, all surrounding Ryan, and all bearing down on him in the next instant. He put up his hands to block and felt nothing as the explosion detonated, shaking the trees. Several coconuts fell with loud thunks.

Am I dead? He opened his eyes, bewildered, noticing with spine-prickling awe that a pink, semi-translucent bubble had formed around his body, and that that little pebble he’d found on the beach and thrown haphazardly into his pocket was now radiating with heat, enough to set his heart aflame.

Episode 4: 1 Outta 4096

Most had already fled, but the feckless, chinless admin who had been left in charge of this sorry port remained cowering at her feet, his dress pants torn at the knees, caked in sand.

“Where is Mewtwo?!” Jessica’s tone was sharp and thin. She sounded very much like the leader of Team Rocket in her own estimation. “What have you done with him?!”

He had a bushy mustache that had begun to grey with age. She wanted to yank it off so bad, like a broken fingernail. “Mewtwo? What the heck’s a Mewtwo?”

She held up the picture of the last one Giovanni had kept, still in its incubation tube. You know damn well what I’m talking about. “This Pokémon right here. Don’t lie to me, or I’ll have Gengar use Dream Eater on you again.”

The elderly man’s bloodshot eyes cracked open like boiling eggs. “N-no… anything but that! Please, I beg you!”

“Tell me what you know, and we won’t have to go there.”

“Ooh, dear, you’re so evil! I like it!” her father smirked.

A warm feeling built in her chest. Jessica had to bite her lip to stop herself from smiling. Not in front of him. I can’t show any weakness when I’m so close… “Out with it, Dragon!”

The admin was trembling, staring at her Gengar, who was busy chasing flies on the shore, making tittering, excited noises as he did. “W-we… we never caught a Pokémon that looked like that… but a member of my deep sea recovery crew filed a report about encountering a Pokémon that looked similar to that one in that picture there… but I can’t be certain. I wasn’t there to see for myself.”

“They found the beast in the Tanoby Ruins?”

“Just so.”

“And…?”

“Hell if I know… they said it froze them all in place and it escaped in the blink of an eye! Hard to believe if you ask me.”

“We weren’t asking you,” her mother snapped.

“Yeah, that’s right,” Dad butted in. “You better not be lying to my sweet little Jessica darling!”

“Dad, stop it!” She sighed, shaking her head, her hands on her hips, her eyes drifting to the waves crashing against the shore. Her fingers felt so restless she wanted to run. “When was this, exactly?”

“Oh, about six months ago, when we set up down here. It’s one of the first reports I logged, come to think of it.”

“Did you tell your bosses about it?”

His skin was yellowish; his brow was sweating profusely. “N-no… why would I? They’d just ask me a bunch of questions and probably send down someone to investigate… I didn’t think it was worth the time or resources.”

“Well, at least you’ve done one useful thing for me.”

He donned a more hopeful expression then. “C-can I go now?”

“None of your men reported any further sightings of Mewtwo, did they?”

“No, ma’am, as I said, that was the only report on record ‘bout any sort of Pokémon like that. Heck, I didn’t even know it was a Pokémon in the first place. You sure about that? Never heard of a ‘Mewtwo’ before.”

“Go back to your masters,” she said. She noticed storm clouds gathering in the distance, far beyond shore. “And tell them that if I ever find even one Painted Dragon in Kanto again, I’ll destroy your entire organization with my Legendary Pokémon.”

“P-pardon, ma’am, but we’ve got Legendary Pokémon too!”

Even in his greatest moment of fear, that little three-chinned Weedle couldn’t help but to get in a last prideful boast. It was too much for Jessica. Her veins flooded with fury, with resentment, with hate. “Gengar!” she roared. “Put this man to sleep and feast upon his dreams.”

“N-no… please, not that again! Please, I’m sorry… I’ll do anything… you can’t… you can’t… please…!”

He whined and begged and threw himself to the sand. Jessica folded her arms, closed her eyes, focused on the sound of the waves, and felt her anger sustain itself for two moments before coldly and suddenly slipping entirely away. They’re on Six Island, Five Island, and One Island… soon, I’ll have driven the Painted Dragons from this archipelago. And once I’ve scoured every island, I’ll have found Mewtwo. He can’t hide forever. I will find him, no matter which island he has run off to. It’s only a matter of time.

Gengar landed softly beside her. The man sobbed out a scream, and Jessica finally allowed herself to smile.


The pink-grey and green creature jumped back, dodging an Ice Beam. Ryan attempted to move and found he couldn’t. He tried to speak and found he couldn’t. Katagiri was frozen to his neck. All he could do was move his head, and even then, he couldn’t exactly see well out of the pink bubble he was in the middle of.

His confusion was great, but it only grew when the flash of blue entered his vision, and he beheld again the mystical, time-rending, calming presence of Mew–the blue Mew he had met in Kanto. It’s shiny. There can’t be many Shiny Mew out there… but I can tell this is the same one I met before, just from how it looks. Its playful face, focused, yet all-seeing was like something out of his dreams. Goosebumps covered his body. He was, in an instant, transported back to Lavender Town, memory overwhelming his emotions. He didn’t know whether to feel melancholic or elated.

Mew… you came back… you saved me from that faker…

The ground exploded in dark flames. The two traded Shadow Balls and took to the skies, moving faster than Ryan could keep track. Sonic booms erupted overhead, detonating hard, sending coconuts flying. Half the forest had seemingly gone up in flames.

That other Pokémon is no normal fighter… he can go toe-to-toe with Mew… he’s gotta be a Legendary. But which one? Ryan knew all of the Kanto Pokémon by heart, but he did not know this one, indicating that it must be from another region. And yet… His face is so similar to Mew’s. He looks like Mew’s evolved form, but that’s impossible. Mew doesn’t have any evolutions!

The aggressor shot another Shadow Ball at Mew, who simply deflected it with another pink bubble cast about its body. Mew cut through the air as if it were swimming, dancing around its foe in naïvity. Ryan felt at once that he was no longer in danger. Mew’s got this under control.

They traded another round of Shadow Balls, this time the purplish balls of energy hitting each other and canceling out in a brilliant flash in the sky. A flock of Pelippers screeched and took to the skies. Again, the faker attempted to attack Mew, and again Mew dodged the attack, replying with one of its own. The faker dodged that attack, too. He’s impressive, whoever he is. I can’t believe he’s lasted this long.

The unknown Pokémon shot a Focus Blast at Mew, but the attack went sailing wide, which did not surprise Ryan in the slightest. That’s the price you pay for using the most unreliable move in the history of Pokékind.

Mew’s eyes glowed red, and in a flash, the other Pokémon went up in flames. He groaned loudly, flexing his arms, spinning in midair, quenching the flames, but to Ryan and Katagiri and the myriad of frightened wild Pokémon no doubt watching this with their sphincters clenched, he looked mighty burned. Holding his shoulder, the faker cried out and shot a third Shadow Ball at Mew, who casually deflected it with another bubble of energy.

Mew’s foe let out a long, deep howl of frustration, rubbing his shoulder. He pointed tauntingly at Mew and then vanished, and the sky grew quiet again.

The bubble around Ryan popped, and he could feel his toes again. “Wait… Mew… don’t leave!” he called to the blue-furred creature floating passively in the cloudless sky.

He blinked, and Mew was floating in front of him passively, cocking its head to the side. They stood silently for a moment, Ryan unsure what to say or what to do. He didn’t want Mew to leave, but he didn’t exactly know what to do make it stay, either.

It blinked three times in rapid succession and the burning forest quenched itself. Dust and ash floated through the air, tasting bitter in the boy’s throat. His lip trembled. “I-I don’t… I… thank you, Mew. You… you saved me.”

Ryan had tears in his eyes. Mew floated around him in that same swim-like dance, and all his fear melted away. He remembered suddenly that his pocket was radiating with heat; he pulled the little stone out of it, holding it in his palm for Mew to see. The Legendary Pokémon stopped, staring at the pebble.

“It’s a Mega Stone,” he murmured. “Is it yours?”

The Mew giggled, covering its mouth in a cute expression. With every laugh, it bobbed up and down in the air, the wind running through its short blue fur.

“I-I’m sorry… I don’t have my Key Stone with me… it was stolen from me by the Painted Dragons… You wouldn’t happen to know where they are, would you?”

Mew stopped giggling, and looked behind it, towards the burnt forest. With a stubby hand, it pointed in that direction. He opened his mouth to speak, but in that same instant, his vision went to pink, and he tasted blueberries, and he had fallen to his hands and knees, and when his vision returned, Mew was gone.

“Wait… don’t go!” Ryan’s voice echoed in the silence.

Katagiri shifted comfortably on his shoulder. “Froah froah froakie!!”

“Yeah, buddy. They’re gone… But that’s the Mew I met in Kanto, the one I saved from Team Rocket… and now it’s returned and saved me… I don’t know what to… what to…”

He was lost for words, the emotion mercilessly squeezing all coherency from his thoughts.

“Keeeee keee froa aahh!” Katagiri said to console him.

“I wonder where it went. I wish it didn’t go… but I guess it’s impossible to actually tame Legendary Pokémon. Maybe I shouldn’t even try…”

“Froakie!”

“Yeah, yeah, I know. Well, come on buddy. Let’s see if we can find a way off this rock.”

Before leaving, he glanced once more at the stones to get a better look at those pictographs that had been carved into their sides. The stone at the head of the pattern contained two pictures–one of a tall man in a suit holding a cigar, his hair short and trimmed neatly. Directly beneath his figure was carved the visage of that same Pokémon that had fought Mew–and there was another one of these same Pokémon on each of the other four slabs, though on three of them, no human had been etched into the rock above them. On the fifth, however, was the carved image of a boy who was meek and smiling sadly.

His emotions again overcame Ryan. He was just glad Alex and Rahul weren’t there to see. That’s the same boy that Pokémon was pretending to be… but why? The boy was only eleven or twelve, or perhaps younger. It was hard to tell with only a carving.

His eyes rose to the sky again, the feelings in his brain too heavy to be rendered into thought. Without thinking, he jumped, his hand just reaching the tip of the stone slab. In one motion, he pulled himself up, climbing on top of it.

Katagiri puffed out his chest and sang audaciously, “Froaaaah!”

But why did he attack me? I didn’t even know he was there… I didn’t want to hurt him… He tasted salt on the wind. And yet, as Ryan stared off down the path, past the burnt tree line, he could see, beyond the shore of the other side of the island, five ships at dock, and he could tell instantly which one was his.

I just wish Mew was still here… how am I going to take on all those guys with just Shenlong and Katagiri?

He recalled then the look of fear and shame in the Mew’s eyes the first time he had come face-to-face with it the day Jessica had captured it. That look had roused in him a righteous fury that had not been quenched until he had found where she took it, fought Jessica to the bitter end, and set Mew free.

Here again he felt a righteous fury building in his bones, not just for his stolen Pokémon, but for the one who had never forgotten what he’d done and who had come back for him in this lowest of moments. Everything goes away, he thought, but not yet. Rahul and Kelly may have left me… but I’m not done yet.

“Come on, buddy,” he whispered, jumping back to the ground, Katagiri clutching wildly to his neck, his claws digging into Ryan’s skin. “Let’s remind those Painted Dragons just who we are… We’re not goin’ down without a fight, are we?”

“Froakie!!”

His veins burst with adrenaline, and he found himself running, Shenlong’s Poké Ball in hand.


Officer Jenny had surrounded Mount Ember with more police boats than Logan thought would have been harbored in the entirety of the Sevii Islands. Nothing’s getting in or out without them knowing. That thought, at least, gave him some modicum of comfort.

There were no Painted Dragons on the beach, as Alex had predicted. “We’re going to have to defeat all of them,” he told Logan. “If all of your Pokémon get knocked out, just return to the beach and one of Jenny’s boats will pick you up, okay?”

“What about you?”

“They aren’t knocking out any of my Pokémon.”

“Are you sure about that?”

Alex ignored him, returning Tsunami to his Poké Ball and heading for the entrance to the volcano. “Anyways, we’re looking for Lieutenant Miyazaki. He’s the guy in charge of this whole debacle.”

Great… just ignore me. This guy doesn’t think much of me, does he? “And what exactly does he look like?”

Alex shrugged.

“Well that’s great. Good job with the intel, Alex!”

“You’ll be able to tell, trust me. You’re going to be a Pokémon Breeder, right? You should be able to tell who the alpha is from a mile away.”

Well… if that’s the case, then who’s the alpha in our group? It’s definitely not Rahul or Alex… despite them both being way better trainers than Ryan… and it’s not Ryan either. I’m definitely not the alpha, either, but when I’m with Ryan…

“Y-yeah, of course.”

“Let’s do this.”

“Yo, let’s smash ‘em up!!”

Inside, they were met by two Painted Dragon enforcers, guarding the path up towards the peak of Mount Ember. Each wore a bandana with the insignia of their gang plastered upon it, and their sleeves were rolled up, not only because it was cookin’ up real good in there, but because they obviously wanted to show off their tattoos of all of the Pokémon they had stolen from people over the years. Logan spotted a Clefable on one of their biceps. What a maroon. I’ll destroy him for Granddaddy Clefable’s sake!

“Halt! Who goes there?”

“Get out of my way,” Alex replied.

“No tourists allowed. Get out of here before we make you.”

Logan was none too pleased by that man’s tone. “Just fight us already… we’re not leaving!”

“Suit yourself, kid. But if we win, we’re takin’ your Pokémon.”

“Fat chance,” Alex retorted.

“No, no, no,” Logan interjected with glee, “Fat Chansey! Go get ‘em girl!”

His Chansey came flying out of her ball with gusto. Logan’s opponent revealed a floating Glalie. This guy reminds me of that Minior Ryan’s Froakie fought yesterday. “Alright, Chansey, Seismic Toss!”

“Chansey!”

Alex was busy engaging the other enforcer, but Logan liked to focus on himself, and he didn’t like to think about other people or look at them when he didn’t have to, which was very convenient in this case.

“Double-Edge!”

“Soft-Boiled, girl!”

There was a lot of bustling around, and the Glalie flung itself a few times at Chansey, but Chansey was as resolute as she was obese and she just kept healing herself like it was magic. Logan loved that about Chansey; it was a pity he couldn’t do the same, himself.

“Seismic Toss!” he ordered her after several more rounds of this, and finally, with this latest body slamming technique, the ground shook and cracked and Glalie didn’t get up.

“Yer cheatin’,” the Painted Dragon scoffed. “How dare ya. I’m tellin’ the Lieutenant!”

His fellow had already run off, it seemed, for Alex was standing alone at the far end of the room with his arms folded, an impatient look in his eyes. “You done?”

“What’s it look like, homeboy?”

“Let’s go then.”

Off they went up the mountain, but for some reason, there were Painted Dragons all along the path. They weren’t facing down towards anyone coming up to greet them–rather, they were facing in towards the path, their backs against the rocky walls on either side. Rahul told me that an Onix carved this path over three hundred years ago. I wonder if it ever imagined all these Painted Dragons lined up like this inside.

It was really hot, and sweat was running into his eyes, stinging them. As they approached the first Painted Dragon, he suddenly grew shocked, as if he hadn’t seen them coming until they were in his line of sight. “Halt right there… I’m Enforcer Gunther, welcome to Mount Ember!”

He threw a Poké Ball, revealing a Clawitzer, and an ugly shrimpy-looking one at that.

“You got this,” Alex said in an unconvincing monotone. “I’ve gotta text Xiao Bao about wavedashing brb.”

“Alright, Echo, your turn!”

“Heh, you ain’t even evolved that into a Scizor yet? What the heck?”

Scizors didn’t exist until we left Kanto, Mr. Speedbump McGee. “Aerial Ace, Echo!”

“Scyther!!!”

Echo looked particularly eager to destroy his opponent this time. He sharpened his claws against each other, then took to the air. In the confined space, he didn’t have much room to gain momentum, but it was still easy for Echo to outspeed his opponent and come crashing down upon him with such force that Logan just knew that was a crit. Brings a tear to my eye… he’s so beautiful when he crits!

“That was only luck, hah, haha!” The Enforcer looked like he was going to throw up before running past them down the path to Arceus knows where.

“Alright, I’m back,” Alex said. “Anyways, there’s a lot more of these noobs ahead. You good?”

“Yeah, man. Echo one-shotted that guy’s Clawitzer!”

“Oh, okay.”

“Hey, you should be happy for me! Praise me, Alex. Do it! Do it now!”

“Well, you didn’t do as poorly as I expected, and anyways, the most important thing is that Xiao Bao can wavedash semi-regularly now, even with Blaziken. So he’s getting pretty good is all I’m trying to say.”

This guy needs to spend a few hours in a locked room with Granddaddy Clefable, I swear. “Thanks Alex, I appreciate it!”

Together, they ran up the sweltering path, eager to challenge those Dragons who remained standing in their way. Logan wondered if the rumors about Xiao Bao being a spammer were true, and he thought they probably were, given that Alex was his brother.


“Alright Katagiri, we gotta be real slick.”

“Geeeaaah geaaah.”

“Pretend you’re a ninja or something and you’ll do fine.”

The ship at dock was the very same fishing boat he had jumped onto a few hours ago, and that was probably one of the worst decisions of his life, but Ryan wasn’t about to get hung up on the past. There was only one direction forward, and it was up the ramp to that boat, retrieving his bag, and beating every one of the Painted Dragons who remained.

Katagiri would find his stuff for him. Shenlong would be his shield and his sword. They hadn’t bothered to set any guards on the beach, which was very convenient for Ryan’s plan to work. Without such an oversight, no doubt he would have been unable to succeed in this venture.

There was a dude leaning over the railing who was probably pouring out a cup of cold coffee into the ocean. Ryan ran up to him, and without pausing to say hello (which was kind of rude of him, but not everyone likes to say hello all the time), he took Shenlong, gripping him by the tail, and swung him hard into the back of the man’s head.

The guy let out half a scream before he fell face-first into the water.

“When in doubt, try hitting it!” Ryan exhaled between his teeth.

That’s one. I wonder if this will give Shenlong any experience. Aren’t humans just like Pokémon? Would a peabrain like him be able to tell if he’s fighting humans or Pokémon? The answer was clearly no. He ran towards the bridge, where old beardy had thrown his bag when he ran into a second Painted Dragon, this guy standing outside the door, leaning against the railing, talking all cool on the phone to his baby mama.

He received a face full of fish, which was probably a familiar sensation to a man of his calibre–falling backwards off the railing into the ocean less so. “Now that’s what a concussion feels like!” Ryan shouted after him.

Inside the bridge, they were all playing checkers while the fancy commander guy was playing chess. Katagiri saw his chance and leapt from Ryan’s shoulder, disappearing in a burst of bubbles. The commander wore a splendid feathered cap of emerald and gold, while everyone else looked relatively normal and ugly and just in general not the best representatives of the human gene pool.

“Who goes there?” a checkers prodigy quipped lightly.

He didn’t really feel like telling them his real name in case any of them ever met him again in three to five years, which would be a very awkward reunion at best. “It’s ya boy, Poonflip… the flippiest poon this side of Unova!” Ryan declared, stepping into the bridge, Shenlong unsheathed like a sword.

“Where’s dat poon?” the captain man grunted, standing up. He hasn’t gotten any for a long while, poor seadog. “My name is Lieutenant Mifune, and I demand you make yourself known, poon-purveyor!”

“I’m right here, man.”

“Who the hell are you?”

“One time I won the Indigo League and that was pretty cool. And this other time your stupid friends tried to steal my Dragonair, but that didn’t end so well for them.”

“Thems fightin’ words!” one of the unnamed Painted Dragon minions roared, standing up from his table and flipping it, sending checkers pieces flying all over the place.

“You dithyrambic Salamence!”

“Shankers, what did I tell you about using a thesaurus to make yourself look smarter?” Lieutenant Mifune roared. “Let me at him, I say!”

He was good at distracting pirates. They weren’t particularly bright, but at the same time, he was losing patience, so Ryan simply slapped the nearest man in the face with Shenlong.

“Karp karp!” Shenlong wheezed.

The men just stood there in stunned silence for a moment as Ryan rushed them and smacked two or three of them in the face with his wonderful Magikarp. Then, their survival instincts kicked in and they tried to swing a few punches back, but Ryan was too fast for them. Half of them were already drunk off extra virgin lemon juice, it seemed.

“Get that little runt! He’s making me angry!” Mifune bellowed. “I’m gettin’ real riled up! Where’s dat poon when I need it?!”

He never saw Katagiri move in and out, but a moment later, the little guy was standing at the door, chirping, “Froah!”. Ryan’s backpack was in his hand, and it was a marvelous feat for such a small froggy boy to carry such a huge sack. There’s really no way to explain it rationally, except maybe to believe that Katagiri was insanely strong for his size, but that is just speculation.

“Alright, line up, you buncha Sudowoodo-looking jabronis! After today I’ll never see any of you again.”

“Thems fightin’ words again, Lieutenant! We gotta smack this kid senseless and string him up like a fine Sharpedo catch, alright?”

“Alright my useless lackeys, go ahead.” “I am the Sword of the Morning, and good day to you sirs!” Ryan screamed, taking this moment to not grab Thurnax’s ball from his backpack, but to instead rush the cretins whom he very much despised and who made him do reckless things simply because he hated them so much. Shenlong was a very sturdy fish and he did well to angle his body into their faces each time Ryan swung.

One after another, the pirates dropped like frozen turkey. Dang, Shenlong could serve as a proper replacement for Dawn if he keeps this up!

“You should put me in a home or put me down,” Ryan declared boldly after the last minion fell, leaving only him and Mifune standing.

“Look, I’m merely trying to checkmate myself, kid. I’ve no idea why you’re here or why you’re so angry, but can’t you just go away so I don’t have to expend any more energy today?”

It was at this moment that Lieutenant Mifune threw his Poké Ball all sneaky, and out came a Leafeon onto the table, knocking over half of the pieces on his chess board. “What the Deoxys, Leafeon? Couldn’t you have landed anywhere else?”

“Leaf!”

“Razor Leaf that kid… what are you waiting for you slow fool?!”

That’s the worst of all the Eeveelutions right there. Bad move, man. Bad move. That’s disrespectful to Shenlong. That’s blasphemous! Oh, it’s on. Imma make you pay now. But nonetheless, Mifune’s Pokémon attacked Ryan with the aforementioned Razor Leaf. Just then, we had a certified Anime Moment™ as Ryan’s Shenlong decided to play the hero and throw himself in front of the Razor Leaf attack, shielding his noble master. It was really emotional and brought a tear to everyone’s eye and Ryan didn’t get cut once.

“Aw, Shenlong, you’re the best!”

“Karp karp!” cried the Magikarp, who probably had no clue what he had just done and was only trying to break free of Ryan’s grip.

But in that moment, at least one of the Razor Leafs deflected off Shenlong’s armored shell, bouncing back and hitting Leafeon in the face. Instantly, the Verdant Pokémon collapsed, unconscious. There are plenty of explanations for how this could have happened, but none of them are not at least extremely convenient and extremely unlikely, so we’ll sidestep that issue by pretending it never happened.

But lo and behold, in that instant, Shenlong’s whole body was covered in light. Katagiri began jumping up and down, squealing at Ryan excitedly, but he couldn’t speak Froakie, so he didn’t know what the heck the little guy was on about.

“Bloody Pinsir! How dare you?!” Lieutenant Mifune grunted. “You have brought immense dishonor to the Painted Dragons!”

Ryan didn’t understand what was going on because he was an idiot. “Yeah, but what’s happening? Did you pull a sneaky trick on my Shenlong?!”

Katagiri pulled Lil Dexy out from his backpack and ran over to Ryan, handing the boy the wonderful machine that he had barely survived without these past few chapters. “Froa gree!”

“Okay, okay, okay, lemme see buddy.” He pointed his Pokédex at the glowing Magikarp. “Yo, Dexy, what’s going on?”

“Magikarp is evolving. I would have thought that having witnessed similar events at least a half-dozen times already, you would have realized this by now, oh wise master!”

“Yay, he’s going to be a Gyarados!” Ryan punched the sky. “Alright! You’re screwed now, sir.”

“No, get it out of here!” Mifune screamed, kicking the Magikarp out the door. Shenlong went sailing over the railing, muttering, “Magikarp karp karp!” as he glowed bright as a star.

With a decent splash, he landed in the ocean, and not two seconds later, the water began to ripple and bubble and then spread, and up from the hole torn out of it, the elongated neck of a red-scaled Gyarados came furiously into view.

“Magikarp has evolved into Gyarados. Congratulations, master. Now you should run.”

Shenlong paused, mouth agape, looking down upon them all like they were peasants kneeling before Arceus himself. He roared mightily, enough to make Katagiri descend into a shaking fit before jumping onto Ryan’s shoulder for protection.

“Nah, Shenlong remembers me. I’m good. But you,” he said, pocketing the Pokédex and gesturing to Lieutenant Mifune, “you’re not going to like this next part!”

“At least let me get by unscathed for another chapter… please! Just one more… that’s all I’m asking! Can’t you do that for me, kid?!” The man was shaking like a baby Froakie; Ryan admired the nakedness with which he had laid bare his emotions. He’s a scaredy Meowth. Well tough luck. Now it’s my turn.

“No, that’s unreasonable. And if there’s one thing I can’t stand, it’s unreasonable people and unreasonable situations!” Ryan stepped back, leaving only the Painted Dragons in the bridge. “Yo, Shenlong! Waste that wannabe ganglord!”

The newly-evolved Gyarados roared, and it was only at that moment that Ryan realized how dark the skies had become. A storm was approaching, and it didn’t seem to be his Shenlong’s doing.

Episode 5: Y'all Need Haxorus

“Rip his head off, Shenlong!”

“Wise master, violence is wrong! No mami, don’t do it!” his Pokédex cried from his pocket. “Be a nice Pokémon Trainer!”

“I was just being hyperbolic, Dexy.”

Nevertheless, Shenlong, who knew not even one single new move (thanks Satoshi), tried to squash Lieutenant Mifune, last of his name, more than once with wild flails of his neck, nearly sinking the ship with each whack. The boat bobbed in the water like cork as metal ripped and tore, and in moments, the entire bridge had collapsed in on itself.

“Hey, watch out! We’re here too!”

Shenlong, alas, wasn’t paying attention.

“I suggest you find a different ship for your journey back to the Sevii Islands, oh wisest of masters,” Dex cautioned. “Your current choice of transport is going to sink any moment now.”

“Curses! Shenlong, you’re gonna pay for that!”

Ryan didn’t have to wait long for his wish to come true (it was really a beautiful wish, just a beauty). When Mifune got to the shore, the giant red Gyarados on his heels, he suddenly stopped and threw a Poké Ball into the sand. A moment later, a fully-grown Haxorus appeared.

“Deal with this nuisance, Haxorus.”

“Two four six eight, who do we wanna penetrate…?! That guy! That guy!! Whooo, get ‘em Shenlong!”

The jet-black skies roiled as Shenlong paced along the shore, spraying foam everywhere, the waves crashing against his sturdy, upright body. Haxorus, though he was much smaller in size, approached Shenlong like a hunter against prey, jumping to the air before the great Gyarados could attack. With a simple glowing purple punch to the vast chest-neck region of Ryan’s glorious ‘mon, Haxorus landed on the ground, facing him, not his foe, and a moment later, the Gyarados crashed to the sand, sending a splash of water everywhere, drenching them real good.

Dang it… that was my pipe dream! “Shenlong, return!”

The Painted Dragon folded his arms. “This is your last chance to run, kid. I’m taking all of your Pokémon when my Haxorus beats you again.”

“You’re not taking the sand in your boots! Rip his head off, Thurnax!!”

Out soared Ryan’s most experienced Pokémon. Landing before Haxorus, the orange creamsicle stared down her opponent with grim satisfaction. Ryan already had the pocket watch and that little pebble that Lance had given him in his hand. He wasn’t about to squander this opportunity to look a bit like a badass. This guy’s going to have no idea what’s hit him.

And truth be told, Ryan didn’t either, as he had yet to use her in her mega form, aside from against the myriad wild Pokémon on Acapulco. But this was an entirely different opponent. Haxorus had already taken out his Gyarados in one blow… and not even a super effective one at that. He’s strong, but not stronger than my Thurnax. No way, no how, take it to the bank!

“Outrage, Haxorus! Send this boy back to his mommy!”

“Now that’s an outrage! You take that back, Mr. Hideous Elderly Gentleman sir!”

He flipped the Fearow at Ryan. “I’ll never take it back!”

“Thurnax, Extreme Speed!”

“Aughghaugh!” Thurnax exhaled.

She took to the sky, moving faster than the man’s Haxorus already, which was a good sign. Then Ryan slipped the little pebble into its lock, just beneath the face of the watch, and Thurnax’s body erupted in white-blue light like flames that coated her as she gained altitude.

“Hang on lad, what’s that now? What’s going on? You hackin’?” the old man grumbled.

“Have some more pea soup, sir!” Ryan said helpfully.

“Excuse me? Is that any way to talk to an adult?”

“This is how I talk to everyone!” Ryan screamed. “Yo, I’m famous!”

“Are you, now? I’ve never heard of you before.”

“That’s because my name’s not really Poonflip! Joke’s on you, man.”

“Oh, okay. That was a really good.”

“Thank you.”

“I was being sarcastic.”

“I know.”

Lieutenant Mifune snarled. He was quite hurt by that remark. Now let’s put you out of your misery! Thurnax’s gonna smoke your Haxorus. Nothin’ better than crushing an old man’s dreams while on vacation. This is the good life.

As the Dragonite descended, the light erupted around her like she was a falling star bleeding a blue, bloody trail of flames behind her. He had to look away his eyes hurt so much. The moment before she reached Haxorus, the light faded, revealing her new form: scales turned to blue, her eyebrows expanded into wing-like shapes, her neck surrounded by glowing emerald beads of light, her underbelly faded to milk white, a horn sprouting from her forehead, and a tapered section added just before the tip of her tail. Thurnax was born anew.

Haxorus grunted, “Hax…!”

Thurnax crashed into him too fast for any of them to see. The air exploded, the wind whipping around old Mifune’s long sailor’s locks like it was stormy or something (and it was). Dragonite reappeared on the shore, landing, huffing and puffing, her fists raised, snarling at the Haxorus, her teeth parted, a look of savagery upon her face unlike anything ever seen before, except for a few times.

“Hey, that’s not fair! Your Dragonite is an unruly beast!”

“Shut up!” Ryan was having none of that jive. “Nobody talks bad ‘bout Thurnax! I won the Indigo League with her!”

“Ieieieiaah!” Thurnax agreed.

Haxorus staggered, muttering, “Hax… hax… hax…” before falling over, unconscious.

“Impossible!” Mifune cried. “That was my strongest Pokémon… my baby boy! Haxorus is number one! He was number one!”

“Well, maybe you’re just an idiot old man who’s wrong about a lot of things. How about that?”

He flushed, his mustache bristling in indignation. “Wh-why… you… I’ll…”

“Thurnax!” the boy called with a smile. “Chase this guy into the forest. I don’t want to ever see him again.”

“Y-you… you can’t! Pokémon only attack Pokémon, not people!”

“There are no rules in war,” Ryan replied. “You would have stolen my Pokémon if you had won. I have no sympathy for a coward who would feel so insecure in their own abilities that they think stealing the Pokémon of someone more successful than them would make them a better trainer. It won’t. It just highlights how poorly-developed your skills actually are. Now Thurnax… send this polished rube flying into the ocean!”

Lieutenant Mifune, the elderly hominid, let out a grunt of dismay and began to make a beeline for the forest, but he didn’t take two steps before Thurnax had shot forward like a cannon and hit him up into the cloudy sky. “That’s right!” Ryan shouted gleefully. He would probably land in the middle of the ocean from such a great height, but that wasn’t something Ryan wanted to think about. He got what he deserved. That’s all that matters. “So long and thanks for all the Qwilfish!” he sang.

Thurnax landed, beating her chest. Katagiri from Ryan’s shoulder grew excited and croaked out a rather bold croak. Lightning cracked in the sky, and it began to rain. Well that’s just great… What’s going on? Where’d this storm come from?

He looked around but found no Painted Dragons. The ship had sunk, having already taken its wounds from Shenlong’s reckless attacks. Still, four more were out at sea. He would have to take one of those home. But which way to Sevii? I have no clue where I am… this island wasn’t on the map.

One distant ship’s bridge windows lit up yellow with light, and he knew at once that there was someone on board that ship (a clever deduction for a boy of Ryan’s calibre). That Dragon’ll know the way back. I’ll just have to watch myself when I get to him. “Thurnax, come on! Let’s get out of this rain!”

Thurnax was still transformed, her body blue and white, her snout raised towards the sky, the rainwater cascading down her face. Her eyes were closed, and she seemed to be enjoying this. You’re the best dragon in the world, girl. Ain’t no Haxorus gonna bring you down.


In the glimmering near-dark, the ground itself shaking, the air as if boiling, a dozen and a half Painted Dragons stood on the path leading up to the summit of Mount Ember. Each one of them was a man or woman, as most people are, and they held in their hands a single Poké Ball apiece–their only Poké Balls. It was marginally fortunate and not so excellent that they each held but a single ‘mon to hold back Alex and Logan. One would think that trusted guards should have more at their disposal, but then this section would take forever, and it really wouldn’t affect the outcome either way. One Pokémon or four–that didn’t matter. These guys were all going down in one shot.

So had Logan already learned, and so would Alex learn soon. He had released Selena from her ball and commanded her to use Dazzling Gleam on the myriad stolen Pokémon each of the Painted Dragons possessed. Despite all of their arms being covered in the painted trophies of the Pokémon they had stolen at some time or another in their miserable lives, as of present, they had held onto only a single one apiece. It was a remarkable display of vanity and incompetence.

Logan wondered where the others had gone. The Black Market, probably. The bane of all Pokémon Breeders. One day I’m going to destroy that system, even if I have to do it by myself!

Thence went Echo, cutting a swath through Sneasels and Wobbufetts as Alex shouted ‘Dazzling Gleam’ over and over and over and over again, his Selena the Gardevoir blasting her way through even Klefkis and Simisears like they were nothing–and they were not. After all, these grunts were good for little more than XP.

Rule #1: Never have a bunch of minions that your enemies can level up on with ease. Rookie mistake, Miyazaki. I pity that fool; he doesn’t know what’s comin’!

Every Painted Dragon was distraught to be defeated, and it wasn’t happy times for those losers. “I swear I shoulda won! I shoulda won! No fair, why didn’t I win?” asked a man with a bucket on his face, whom Logan decided to call Buckethead, as he ran past them, down the path, now that his Pokémon were defeated. Why do they always run away when they’re out of Pokémon? You’d think at least one of them would go up and tell Miyazaki who’s coming…

Alex led the way, and after a time, the Dazzling Gleams stopped gleaming up that dank, moist cave. The pittering of footsteps sliding over gravel grew faint. They were alone again.

“Not bad,” Alex said. “I didn’t think you’d make it all the way.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

“It means I didn’t think you were a skilled-enough trainer to make it this far.”

“Well, I am!”

Alex cocked his head, thinking. “Or maybe those guys were just noobs.”

Can’t you ever let me have anything?! “Well at least I’m better than a bunch of noobs, Alex.”

“Yeah, true, maybe. Anyways, I’ll take out Miyazaki myself. Stand back and don’t interfere, okay?”

“Why can’t we do this together?”

“Well, I don’t need your help, so that’s all that matters.”

“B-but… I can help! Echo and Chansey can help!”

“I don’t want to risk it. Just stand back and shut up and don’t get in my way. Okay?”

It was a force of habit when his mind returned to that old memory that he no longer truly remembered but only remembered the memories of remembering it: a white shore, a sunburnt man messing with a metal detector without his shoes, that lady with the mirrors on her hobnail boots pulling a dead tooth from her blackened gums, two Clefairy chasing each other on the beach. He was faster than them; nobody could keep up with him. He kept wondering when he would evolve into Clefable, but then that Officer Jenny had appeared, scolding him, asking him where his parents were, asking him why he was down on the ground, why he was shouting ‘Clefairy’ over and over again, why he wasn’t with his mommy, why, why, why.

He swallowed hard, not letting Alex see, blinking his stinging eyes, and followed the older boy up the path to the summit.


They were more brazen in their organization on Six Island than on Seven. Beneath a soot-black sky, Jessica placed her hands on her hips, observing their encampment, standing on the edge of a cliff overlooking the valley below. Look at them all… oblivious to their impending doom. It makes me sick.

“Oh, dear, look at how many there are,” Mom said, coming up behind her. “Are you sure you can take them on by yourself?”

“It would be easier with Mewtwo at my side, but I’ll manage… Giovanni left plenty of powerful Pokémon for me. Don’t worry, Mom. I don’t need your help.”

“W-well, that’s good, isn’t it?” her father stuttered like a coward. He was not even facing the valley, but was huddled in front of a pile of sticks trying to start a fire by banging a few rocks together as he shivered terribly.

Good for nothing, more like it. She smiled warmly at her parents. “While I deal with these cretins, why don’t you two try to come up with a method to find and capture Mewtwo? You’re good at that, Mom, aren’t you?”

“Why of course, dear. We’ll do anything for our little snookums darling! Just you wait and see… we’ll capture that pesky Mewtwo for you no problem.”

“Y-yeaaaaaah!” her father agreed, his voice rising and breaking against the wind. “We never lose!”

Neither do I. “Go, Salamence! Go, Gengar! Go, Klefki! Go, Skarmory! Go, Hawlucha! Go, Garchomp!”

Her team was ready. She was ready. Below, in the valley, Painted Dragons were auctioning off Pokémon they had caught in the sea, or stolen from careless travelers to a variety of people. The group they were indulging currently were wearing dark blue suits–three men with buzzcuts and sunglasses and bright fedoras. I wonder who they are. They don’t look like anyone I know… but they’ve got to be some kind of organization. I’ll have to keep watch over this in case they ever try to invade Kanto.

Kanto was hers. She had already driven the Painted Dragons away. Soon they would be broken here and crippled. She waited until the three men purchased their chosen Poké Balls and left down the valley trail before attacking.

“Salamence! You’re up first!”

“Mence!” the flying dragon roared impatiently.

“Hawlucha, you too. Skarmory, provide them support.”

“Lucha!”

“Skar skar!”

“Klefki, Garchomp, come in from the right. Pin them down.”

“Kiiiiiiiiiih!”

“Garchomp.”

“Gengar, old buddy… with me.”

“Gengar gengar!” he grinned maliciously.

She couldn’t help but return the look. They moved faster than she would have expected. Gengar held her like a damsel in distress as he jumped down to the valley floor, before setting her down on the ground. It had been the most glorious moment of her life when he had finally evolved as she had been training him against the rest of the team. It had only happened a few weeks ago. Even more than tasting victory, than becoming the leader of Team Rocket… witnessing her first Pokémon, the one she had caught in the forests near Lavender Town, finally evolve into his most potent form, had been a euphoric moment, a moment of sheer catharsis.

When Haunter had become Gengar, so too had Jessica shed her old skin and donned a new one. Her past was dead and buried, learned from, but not driving her. She had been born anew in that moment, and she had known from then on that she would not be stopped–not again. Not here, of all places. She had a plan. The Painted Dragons were nothing compared to her. Neither was that Ryan boy, but she would not challenge him until she had found Mewtwo… not because she doubted her team, but because she wanted to see the look on his face as a Legendary Pokémon took from him all his hopes and dreams and notions of confidence. She would burn his arrogance to the ground, much as she would this black market trading post.

The Painted Dragons were busy tending their flesh market–too busy to notice Salamence descending upon them. We’ll not wait for them to draw their Pokémon. I’m here to drive those fools out, not do battle with them. I don’t care to see what they’ve got. The Painted Dragons I’ve already faced have been nothing short of disappointments. Never again.

Salamence shrieked as he soared, his wings spread wide, over their complex. As all the Painted Dragons froze, then came Hawlucha and Garchomp and Klefki, her well-trained flock. The men and women let out cries of surprise and confusion and the Pokémon attacked. Though a few put up moderate defenses, her Pokémon converged on any other Pokémon sent out to deal with them, instantly taking them out in the least fair way possible. Life isn’t fair, and neither am I.

One of Garchomp’s Fire Blasts set the building on fire. That was the point most of them began to flee. “Alright, Gengar, let’s go.”

They came in from behind, catching the fleeing Dragons unaware. Gengar washed over them like a tide, plucking their Poké Balls from their hands, belts, pockets, bags, and piling them at the entrance to the building. With all these Pokémon, Team Rocket will become so much more powerful. I will send these back to my soldiers in Kanto so that they may have better Pokémon to use… even Gilly, if he’ll accept any of them. But he probably won’t, knowing him. He still thinks all of his Pokémon are the greatest there ever were. Pathetic child.

Ahead, Klefki and Garchomp were pulling the caged and penned Pokémon from the burning inferno. Above, her Pokémon circled as if the warehouse was reeking carrion. Gengar didn’t miss a ball, and when Jessica noticed the installation admin amongst those fleeing, she had Gengar not only take his Pokémon, but stop him from leaving.

Maybe he knows more than that last lout. Maybe not… either way, Gengar will get to feast upon many dreams today.

It grew silent rather quickly. The Dragons had left their leader behind. He sat cowering in the dirt, ash smeared across his sweaty, ruddy, oval-shaped face. The man was bald. He looked bewildered to be stuck where he was. He has no clue what happened. What an amateur. I would expect more from a man of his age and rank. Disgraceful.

She had learned long ago to stop assuming adults were competent by default. “Hello,” Jessica said, bowing before the man. “My name is Jessica. I am the leader of Team Rocket.”

“O-oh… pleasure to make your acquaintance ma’am.”

“Where’s Mewtwo?”

He was scared; she could read his mind through his moist brown eyes. “Mew… what?”

“Mewtwo, the Legendary Psychic Pokémon. Surely, you’ve heard of Mewtwo?”

“N-no… I’m afraid I have no idea what you’re talking about, ma’am.”

“Don’t lie to me. I won’t be kind to you if you do.”

“With all due respect, ma’am, I’m not… I have absolutely positively no clue what you’re talking about. Please, if you can, explain yourself…”

“Explain myself? Explain myself?! Are you serious? You’re the admin of this installation, aren’t you?”

“Uh, yes ma’am.”

“How could they have appointed such a stupid man to so high a post? No wonder your gang is collapsing around you.”

“I-I… well, there was no need for name callin’, ma’am. That was uncalled for if you ask me.”

“I wasn’t asking you, you insolent Rattata!” she snarled, spinning in place, kicking the dirt, biting down on her lip to prevent herself from screaming out. Impossible. They can’t all be this dumb. “Gengar! He’s all yours.”

“Wh-what…? Hang on, what do you mean, ma’am?”

“You had one chance to prove your usefulness to me, and now that chance has passed,” she replied coldly. The warehouse collapsed on itself, sending sparks like hordes of furious fireflies into the air. Her Pokémon waited calmly on the perimeter, the spoils of their victory calling out in dozens of different anxious voices.

“Gengar geng! Geng geng!” her Pokémon cooed as he landed just in front of the man.

Jessica was surprised that the admin never screamed. Perhaps he was merely ignorant and did not know what came after Gengar put him to sleep. Shame. He’s too dumb to appreciate the severity of the situation. She often felt like that was the case, though: not only with Ryan and his motley gang of loudmouth imbeciles, but with her parents too.

They mean well, but…

The admin fell with a dull thud to the ground, passed out. Her nostrils filled with burning smoke. They don’t have the traits of a leader, like I do. Only I can lead Team Rocket to glory; only I can find and return Mewtwo home. It is all on me, or we fail. I cannot rely upon anyone else. Nor will I.


“Sup D,” Ryan said in a friendly tone as he crept up behind the old frog-faced fellow.

“Oh blimey, who’s it now? I just emptied my chamber pot, I swear!”

“It’s me, Poonflip, don’t you remember?”

The man was in his fifties or sixties, was lounging on a folding chair, smoking a cigar, wearing an Alolan buttoned-up shirt and short shorts and sandals with socks, and was fishing over the side of his boat from the dry safety of the bridge, the door held open with a black brick in the corner. It was cold in there, but the man didn’t seem to mind, which Ryan thought was very odd. He was positively shivering already, although he hadn’t brought any warm clothes with him. The Painted Dragon was listening to a sermon from three-time Journalistic Slowking Award Winner Chunk Ugo’gir on the radio, the man’s voice unmistakable, but cracking regularly from the rusty brown device.

“Oh, yeah, yeah. Cool. Hey, guess what?” the man said eagerly. “I’ve caught three Magikarp, six Tentacool, and a baby Mantine today! What do you think about that, eh? Lieutenant Mifune’s going to be so pleased, ain’t he? That Mantine alone’ll fetch a month’s pay on the market. Tell him, won’t ya?”

“Yeah, okay man, look, I don’t care about any of that. We need to get back to the Sevii Islands… specifically One Island–right now, alright? Can you take me back?”

“Oh, we’re going back in a few hours, don’t worry. Just waitin’ for the lieutenant’s call.”

Frickin’ maroon. “He’s not calling.”

The man sat up, as if surprised, but then began reeling in his fishing pole really fast. “Ooh, I got one! Ah, he’s a real biter! Ooh, it’s gonna be a big one! Whaddya think, Poonflip? Sharpedo? Could I be that lucky in one day? Hah!” He excitedly pulled the fishing line all the way in until it revealed a rather shrimpy-looking Magikarp that he unhooked and threw unceremoniously onto the floor, getting water everywhere.

This guy’s filthy as a Tepig. What the heck? Ryan shook his head, walking over to the Magikarp and then punting it out the door without care. It made a pretty big splash, despite its size. “Take me back to the Sevii Islands. I’m not asking you.”

“Huh, what? Just gimme a little more time, alright? Y’know, I’m going to have to be out here even longer now that you just did that… I have a quota after all.”

“I don’t care. Take me back. Katagiri Bubble him!”

“Greee!” Katagiri replied loyally, leaping onto the table next to the man, puffing out his chest, and croaking menacingly. At length, a single bubble appeared on the Froakie’s lips. He spit it at the man, and a second later it made contact with his cheek.

The man cried and fell to the floor, flinging his fishing rod up into the air. Ryan watched coolly as the rod flew over the side of the ship. It felt good not trying to save it.

“What the heck, Poonflip?! That hurt! That really hurt! And golly, my rod! I’ve lost my rod! Heck you, man! What’s wrong with you?”

Ryan slammed the door shut, folding his arms. “Take me back to the Sevii Islands, or there’ll be more of that.”

“More Bubbles?!” The Painted Dragon’s lip was quivering. He looked entirely terrified. That’s right. Embrace the suck, you old seadog.

“Katagiri, use Bubble again!”

“No no no no no! Stop it! Please, mercy! Mercy!! I’ll do it, I’ll do it! Please… not that again… no more Bubbles… I can’t… I can’t…!” he cried, holding his cheek, his eyes brimming with tears. “Fine, I’ll take you back there, but you owe me!”

“Watch your mouth boy,” Ryan retorted. “I’m Poonflip, Indigo League Champion! That’s no way to talk to me!”

“Oh, oh, I’m sorry, Mr. Poonflip, I didn’t know. We’ll be on our way momentarily!”

“Good. How long will it take?”

“Oh, about an hour, if the storm doesn’t let up.”

“Do you know what caused the storm?”

“Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. That’s Lieutenant Miyazaki’s doing.”

“What do you mean?”

“He’s trying to catch that Moltres living at the peak of Mount Ember, dontcha remember, Mr. Poonflip? He told us about it durin’ the mornin’s briefing, and–”

Ryan still didn’t understand. “But why would that cause a storm? There are plenty of Moltres in the world, and I’m sure people catch them sometimes, and I’ve never heard of a storm accompanying that…”

“Well, that’s because he’s using his Articuno to capture it, of course,” the man laughed, revealing his loose brown teeth. “He told us, remember? ‘Member, Mr. Poonflip, ‘member?”

So that’s why. Alex has to stop him… I don’t know if I’ll get back in time. But if anyone can, it’s Alex. That dude’s alright.

Episode 6: Dishmaster Supreme

At the summit of Mount Ember, they found Lieutenant Miyazaki. Wiping the sweat from his brow, Logan gasped. Moltres. But Moltres wasn’t alone–he immediately noticed the icy visage of Articuno too. Impossible. Yet… that would explain the weather, he thought, squinting up at the lightning-battered sky. The rain poured down, steam rising like tatters around Moltres’ magnificent flames.

It was not immediately clear to Logan why Miyazaki was using the Freeze Pokémon to combat the Flame Pokémon. Isn’t ice weak against fire? Still, he couldn’t get over the fact that Miyazaki already possessed a Legendary Bird. The two were squawking, trading Flamethrowers and Hurricanes, and the entire summit was soon bathed in chaos: wind, rain, fire, lightning, thunder. They could hardly see Miyazaki standing upon a broken boulder, directing his bird against the wild one–the one Alex would have to stop all by himself.

But that’s how he wanted it to be. He didn’t expect two Legendary Birds, though. “Hey, Alex, don’t you want my help now?! That Articuno looks fierce!”

“Just stand back, and if things go south, you can step in. I don’t need you yet.”

“Ugh.”

Miyazaki noticed them. Lightning silhouetted against his back, and he looked to Logan like a demon in the night, his hair drenched from the rain, his clothes all black in the near darkness. What an evil-looking man. Granddaddy Clefable would know how to deal with him. I’m not sure Alex knows what he’s up against…

“So, you’ve come to stop me, is that it?!” the man shouted at them. “That’s why you’re here?!”

Moltres roared, flaming the entire area, forcing all three humans to duck for cover. A moment later, another Hurricane shook the volcano violently, and Moltres let out a cry, falling back.

“Alex, you have to stop him!”

“I know.”

The man scoffed. “You can’t stop me. Moltres is mine! It is my right to capture any wild Pokémon I wish. I will have you two arrested if you interfere.”

“I’m not going to fall for that,” Alex shouted back through the gale. “Bring out your Pokémon already. Stop being a coward!”

“A coward?! Would a coward be in my position? Would a coward have captured two Legendary Pokémon… soon to be three, once I get back to Kanto? You are ridiculous. Underestimate me to your own peril.”

With a bone-chilling cackle, the Painted Dragon threw four Poké Balls one after the other, pulling them like plucked eyes from his belt. They landed in front of Alex, making it clear what Miyazaki’s plan was. He’s going to try to catch Moltres as fast as he can while stalling us with his remaining Pokémon. If I used Chansey and Echo… it would be eight versus four. We’d crush him…

Miyazaki’s fanatical four were Krookodile, Magnezone, Scizor, and Gigalith. Alex seemed unconcerned, throwing only three balls–releasing Selena the clutch Gardevoir, Radon the stellar Aerodactyl, and Gyarados, Dragons’ bane. Krookodile growled a mean growl, and Logan thought it was a moderately intimidating gesture (and all of Alex’s Pokémon seemed to concur). In response, Tsunami growled a bit, and made his presence all imposing and stuff, and he intimidated them back, bless his soul. I couldn’t intimidate a newborn Octillery if I tried.

“Why aren’t you fighting four versus four, Alex?!”

“Don’t worry about it,” the older boy replied.

He better have a plan… it’s not like Echo or Chansey could take out that Moltres or Articuno if it comes down to that… not to mention Murr or Doodleface.

“Selena, Shadow Ball that Scizor. Tsunami! Waterfall the Gigalith. Radon, Sky Drop that Magnezone.”

They all barked in affirmation and rushed off.

Miyazaki didn’t seem to give his Pokémon any instructions, which was a pretty nifty strategy in Logan’s opinion. Rule #2: Never pick a Pokémon’s move for it.

The Shadow Ball materialized before Gardevoir, slamming into the enemy Scizor. Before anyone could retaliate, Radon swooped in, picking up Magnezone in his talons and rising in the air. Then came the Krookodile, whose body glowed white. Two rings of pointed orbs materialized around his body, spinning slowly. As the light faded, they turned to grey stone. This parlor trick encapsulated all of three seconds of their lives, and afterwards, Krookodile shot the stones one after another from the air right at Tsunami, who took the blows like a champ (though he howled a bit).

Tsunami was none too pleased by this turn of events. Luckily for him, it was his turn to hurt someone bad. The pile of rocks known as Gigalith could probably be deconstructed as easily as legos, Logan speculated. Tsunami rammed into Gigalith, riding wave of water, pushing old boulder boy back several paces.

Scizor jumped forward, its claw glowing white, scratching across Gardevoir’s chest harshly. Selena let out a cry of pain and fell back.

Then came that pile of rocks again. If Logan were designing a Pokémon (and as a breeder, he was certainly an intelligent designer), he would have designed a Pokémon exactly like Gigalith, down to the jagged rocks sticking out at random angles from the beast’s legs and chest area. Like Krookodile, he glowed white, conjured two spinning rings of energy which soon cooled to rocks, and shot those floating halos one rock at a time into Tsunami’s belly.

“Selena, same thing! Tsunami, Protect!”

The Shadow Ball hit Scizor again, weakening it severely. Though it was pushed back, it refused to fall, and Logan knew what that meant. Selena can’t survive another hit. What’s Alex going to do about that, huh? He’s playing this so carelessly. He was broken from his thoughts immediately by Radon returning to the ground, releasing Magnezone, throwing his foe with a sickening crunch into a crater in the rocks.

The Krookodile was trying the same move again–Stone Edge, Logan recognized it as. Before its attack could hit Tsunami, a white shield appeared in midair, blocking the attack from hitting him. Snarling, the Krookodile retreated. Scizor shot forth next, its claw burning white, scratching hard across Gardevoir’s body. Though it was weakened, its resolve had not wavered, and the attack hit with grim power. Gardevoir collapsed.

From behind the rest of the gang, languishing in the smoking crater, Magnezone suddenly shot up and with equal quickness fired a Thunderbolt into Radon’s throat. The Aerodactyl cried out, losing altitude briefly, but regaining his hovering stance just before hitting the ground. That attack really hurt him… Alex’s Pokémon are getting destroyed!

And there was Gigalith too, but he was quite late to the party–his Stone Edge attack, like Krookodile’s, bounced harmlessly off Tsunami’s Protect.

Things were looking dire. It was two versus four, and both Tsunami and Radon were not in good health. Why doesn’t he take out his other Pokémon? Does he really think he can save them all for the birds? That’s crazy. Alex is crazy. He’s a crazy boy. Thank Arceus I’m not crazy like him!

“Radon, Rock Slide! Tsunami, use Waterfall on Gigalith!”

“Aero!” the Fossil Pokémon cawed, flapping its wings as boulders materialized in mid-air, then sailed down towards Miyazaki’s Pokémon without pause.

Scizor and Magnezone were hit hard; Gigalith jumped aside at the last moment, the boulders crashing around it, but not one of them hitting the wonderful sentient pile of rocks. Krookodile, being the fourth Pokémon, invariably was too far away to be hit at all, as battles involving more than three Pokémon are merely figments of our imagination and cannot actually occur.

Alex raised an eyebrow at the Gigalith. “Lucky escape. But your luck won’t last forever.”

When the dust settled, Scizor was pinned under a boulder, unable to move. Krookodile jumped forward, the perfect croco-boy, and shot another round of Stone Edge at Tsunami. This time Tsunami did not block, but instead rode a second wave so hard that he crashed into Gigalith, sending his rocky foe spinning and twirling. Gigalith appeared battered and wounded, but he was not done yet.

Radon flapped his wings impatiently as Magnezone approached. It would have been so good had he been able to dodge that incoming Thunderbolt, but he was only an Aerodactyl after all (his kind went extinct for a reason), and he went down just like Gardevoir and Scizor. Gigalith’s own Stone Edge was already warming up by the time Radon had fallen, and Tsunami could scant turn his attention back towards that tricky, wounded, yet still alive Pokémon before it railed him with a line of psychically-strung rocks.

Tsunami let out a cry and fell, and it was three versus zero. Just great. “Alex!”

“Don’t worry, I’ve got this.” He threw only a single ball, surprising Logan greatly. Out came Typhlosion amidst the salt and smoke and ash.

“But Alex…” Logan said in exasperation, “your Typhlosion’s outnumbered three-to-one!”

“Then it’ll be an even fight… well, maybe that’s being generous.” He raised his arm, revealing a very fashionable and stylish bracelet on his left wrist. In Logan’s estimation, he seemed to place a quarter or maybe a dime into the bracelet, and then the whole thing lit up like magic… just as Typhlosion did, in tandem. When the light faded, there were several new flames sprouting up from Typhlosion’s body, and even better, he had a smoke cape!

Wicked cool, brah.

But more importantly, at this exact moment, a thick beam of intense sunlight broke through the storm clouds, evaporating the rain, quelling the wind, silencing the lightning. This sunlight, however, was only piercing through a small part of the cloudscape above Typhlosion, and while Articuno and Moltres continued to do battle, the storms around the rest of Mount Ember persisted with much force.

“Eruption!” Alex said stoically.

The Typhlosion roared, dropping to the ground, the flames around its mane growing brighter and hotter and larger and soon expanding outwards in a stream of flames, enveloping Krookodile, Magnezone, and Gigalith in an intense superheated blaze.

Then the heat dissipated again, Logan could see all three of Miyazaki’s Pokémon collapsed and unconscious. “Oh baby, a triple!” Logan couldn’t help himself from saying, his lip quivering like when his mother had put away the crème fraîche without offering him a sip.

“Good work, Perdition. Return.”

Silence filled the peak now that the fighting was done. Miyazaki had returned to his rock, his hands on his hips, staring down at the two plebeians who had dared to stand in his way. The storm has subsided… the fighting’s over… he’s won!

“Now,” Miyazaki said. “I see you’ve dealt with those petty rubes. They are nothing compared to my Legendary Birds! I will crush you both and take your Pokémon as my own.”

“Then do it.” Alex took out his other two Poké Balls and threw them towards Miyazaki, who now stood with a Legendary Bird on either side of him, each perched on a rock. Alex’s Pokémon–an Excadrill and a Tyranitar–shifted on their feet impatiently. “Alright Janitor, Slammer, let’s finish this fight.”

At once, an irritating sandstorm was triggered, blowing about the peak with such fury that Logan had to pull his beanie down over his eyes. The lieutenant jumped off his rock, walking first over to Articuno, then to Moltres, spraying each of them in the face with some kind of potion (or voodoo witchcraft, as Granddaddy Clefable preferred to call it), and magically, each one was restored to full health.

“Now,” said Miyazaki, “it begins.”

“No,” replied Alex solemnly. “Now it ends. Rock Slide!”

Above the birds’ heads, a series of boulders materialized, dropping down with such suddenness that Articuno was caught in the midst of it all, battered terribly as a result. Moltres, who was a bit quicker, was able to dodge the falling boulders by taking to the air, circling around the peak of Mount Ember, and then racing back down towards Janitor, Alex’s Excadrill.

One Flamethrower was all it took to reduce Alex’s side to one. “Ice Beam, Articuno, what are you waiting for?!”

Emerging from the rubble and looking quite beaten, the Articuno nevertheless shrieked out a war-cry, flapping its wings indignantly, and spit its beam of energy at Tyranitar’s chest. Slammer seemed to barely feel the blow; he was already conjuring up a Rock Slide of his own.

This time, neither bird was agile enough to get away, and Articuno collapsed as soon as the first boulder hit it in the neck. He’s taken out one of them… incredible. A Legendary Pokémon felled by only a Tyranitar. It’s absurd!

Moltres too had taken the brunt of that attack, and now it staggered to regain its footing on a rock-clobbered perch.

“Overheat, Moltres!”

“Tressssss!” the bird whistled, taking to the air again, flames building around its body in great quantity. As it turned and bore down upon Tyranitar, it opened its beak, and a flaming ball of fire shot out, washing over Slammer like a bucket of paint.

For a moment, Logan was sure Alex had lost. Then the flames died, and Tyranitar came back into view, looking hardly worse for wear. Without pause, it conjured another round of boulders above Moltres’ head and dropped them, and so too did the Flame Pokémon fall.

“I-impossible… no way! I had both of them at my command… Those were Legendary Birds, you maggots!”

“End of the line, man. What you did here was not only greedy, but craven. You can’t just attack One Island with the rest of your lackeys and expect us to roll over like the French Baguettes.”

“Actually, Alex, I think he’s from Kanto, or maybe one of the other regions!” Logan interjected helpfully.

“Officer Jenny would like to have some words with you. She’ll be here any moment, now that the storm has subsided.”

“You aren’t taking me anywhere. Moltres! Articuno! Get up! Turn these two brats into ash!”

He reached out his hand, a spray revive clutched in it. Alex noticed at once. “Slammer, stop him!”

It was a bad idea for Miyazaki to try that, for Slammer did to the lieutenant then what the spring does to the cherry trees, but to go on about that any more would be rather pedantic, so let’s just say that as soon as Slammer grabbed ahold of Miyazaki, he never let go until Jenny got there and cuffed the man herself.

Alex used his own revives to revive all of Miyazaki’s abandoned Pokémon; as soon as Articuno was brought back to full health, it screamed wildly, its beady eyes darting back and forth, suspicious of all of them, and it took to the skies, flying off towards the mainland.

Moltres too was revived, though it did not fly off. Instead, its eyes studied them with gravely, and after they took their sweet time reviving the other four ‘mons, it suddenly grew impatient and began shooting flaming balls of fire into the air, causing everyone to run away, much like those Painted Dragon lackeys had in the previous chapter.

But we’re the good guys, Logan thought, so that means we’re not fleeing, we’re just setting off on a new adventure in a new direction!

They never saw Miyazaki again, and the Painted Dragons never troubled One Island thereafter. But it appeared to Logan, as they trekked back to the beach, the policemen and women calling from their boats just off-shore, that all anyone cared about was Alex and his feats of great accomplishment.

Logan was, to his fault, someone who liked to argue and whine at people when they failed to recognize his great achievements. But today–or tonight, rather, as the sun had already begun to set (a fact they had not realized until the storm had cleared)–he needed to get back to the hotel as soon as he could so he could get enough rest so as to remain sharp in the morning for his meeting with Granddaddy Clefable. He was so mad about those missing cookies. I gotta make it up to him somehow. Maybe I’ll get Ryan to buy him a new knitted sweater. His old one has a few holes in it…

They came to a stop on the shore, Alex releasing Tsunami again into the water (having revived him atop the mountain, of course). “You coming?” he said to Logan.

“Yeah, yeah, yeah.”

“What’s the matter with you? Why are you so grumpy?”

His mind was on Granddaddy Clefable, and he didn’t want to indulge in the general jive Alex so often did. “Well, Alex, I was just thinking about how I really like Lucario, but I can never seem to be able to SHFFL with him.”

“Oh, that’s a shame.”

“You’re a Poké Smash god, right?”

“Yeah, that’s right.”

“Well, come on, teach me the Way of Poké Smash!”

“Nah.”

Logan was taken aback. “B-but why not?”

“Because you’re an idiot.”

Tsunami roared, and Alex leaned against his neck, and they were racing the waves before Logan could reply.


Night was fast approaching, though the cloudscape had cleared somewhat. In what had seemed little more than the blink of an eye, the storm had broken and given way to the more usual tropical climate that she was accustomed to. The starry sky was still cloud-pocked, yet even those few remaining were quickly being carried away by the seawinds.

There was no time for her to quell the Painted Dragons on either Five Island or One Island. No matter. I’ve cleared two islands today. I’ve been productive. There’s always tomorrow. Ryan and his gang will be here for two weeks… I have plenty of time.

Her parents’ Gyarados submarine was pulled up onto the beach. Her mother paced before it, tapping her shoulder impatiently; her father was nowhere to be seen. She half-wanted to jump on Salamence and fly back to Resort Gorgeous, leaving them here to their folly throughout the night. Knowing them, they could be here till morning. But at the same time, Jessica felt several pangs of anxiety in her chest at the prospect of returning to the hotel alone. She did not think much of Ryan or his lowly band of followers, and yet… Four against one could be dangerous. I have to remain focused. Until I have Mewtwo at my side, I need to be more cautious than usual.

“Are we nearly done, mother?” she asked at last, after having waited for what she deemed a reasonable amount of time (approximately three minutes). “Can’t we get going? It’s getting cold… night is coming.”

“Are you scared of the dark, snookie-pooh?” her mother responded, high, flittery sarcasm drenching her voice.

“Very much so, Mother,” she replied, equally sarcastic, “but I thought you already knew that?”

Her mom pivoted, apparently bored by this conversation. “Hmmm… James?! What are you doing in there?”

There was a loud crashing sound, followed by the sound of several dropped tools clanging against the metal walls and floor inside. What a klutz… but that’s where I get it from, she thought, smirking to herself. “Eieieiaaaah… just a sec, Jessie!”

“Ugh, your father can be so useless sometimes,” Jessie replied. “Are you looking for the fireworks?!”

“Ye-yea…!” he replied sheepishly, his voice muffled.

“I put them behind the portable fridge! Don’t you remember? I showed you yesterday, James.”

“O-oh, yeah! There they are, heheh!”

The blue-haired man popped up like a Diglett on LSD, soot spread messily around his chin and left cheek. “Here!” he said, holding up several wrapped-up fireworks on sticks. “I found them, I found them!”

Jessica raised an eyebrow.“That’s your big plan? Shooting fireworks into the sky…?”

“That’s just step one, darling.” Her father jumped out of the submarine, slipping on the hatch and face-planting in the sand. Sitting up awkwardly, he shook the sand from his hair and showed Jessica what he was holding in his other hand, which, to her, looked like a blue towel with little black straps spread across it. “This… is a motion capture suit!”

“Okay.”

“All I have to do is put it on, and then turn on our projection device, and I’ll be able to project my movements as a Mewtwo!”

A frisson overcame Jessica. “Like back in Kanto… I tried a similar technique to capture a Mew.”

“And we all remember how that went, don’t we, Jessica?”

“I caught it–it worked. There were just… complications afterwards.”

“That boy,” her mother smiled poisonously. “That miserable thief who didn’t even get us a mini fridge for our room…”

“I’ll never forgive him for that, awooheehee!” her father laughed maniacally. “Once we have Mewtwo, we’ll be able to crush his dreams like I’ve always wanted!”

Once I have Mewtwo, not you. I wouldn’t trust you with my Klefki. “Dad, you’re getting ahead of yourself. First we have to make sure we can lure the Mewtwo to a safe location and then ambush him…”

“Which island would you like to try this out on, dear?”

“Five Island will do… after I’ve taken out the island’s marketplace… run by the Painted Dragons scum…!” She paused, letting the anger disperse throughout her, warming her blood. Don’t get carried away. “We’ll try this tomorrow.”

Her parents giggled evilly, and Jessica allowed herself to indulge, just a bit. As long as Mom and Dad don’t slip up and reveal my plan to Ryan tonight, I’m invincible. I’ve already won. The moon was bright and yellow. In a day or two, it would be full. And by then, she would have already won.

Don’t get ahead of yourself. This method isn’t guaranteed to capture Mewtwo. She knew that, but still Jessica’s mind returned to the past, to Kanto, to Lavender Town. That Mew was pathetic. It was not suited to be my protector. Giovanni’s notes indicate that each of the Mewtwo his scientists created was many times more ferocious than any Mew… and more powerful, too. Power is all that matters; it’s truth. Nobody will be able to stop me, and if they even try, I have a secret weapon… one not even Giovanni was able to try out before all the Mewtwo escaped.

She felt the smooth stone in her pocket, cold as ice. Its spherical perfection comforted her. A Mantine was crossing lazily over the water towards the shore. In the moonlight, a Magikarp breached, and then another, and then another.

“Don’t say anything to those idiots,” she cautioned her parents. “The less they know, the better. I want this to be a big surprise for that blue-haired brat who thinks he’s champion of Kanto.”

“He’ll crumble before Mewtwo,” Mom said. She rubbed Jessica’s head briskly, a rare move. “Don’t worry about us. We won’t say anything.”

“That’s right!” her father agreed. “I’ve never let you down, my sweet little snookie-pooh! You can count on us!”

That is exactly the opposite of what I know to be true. And yet she nodded and smiled and said nothing.


Officer Jenny had told him all about it, but Logan and Alex had already returned to Resort Gorgeous by the time they eased into One Island’s port. Everyone was already there when he returned, which was really convenient. Logan was cooking pad thai in the kitchen, while Alex was slicing himself a little more than less than half of a cucumber for his bowl of dumplings. Even Jessica was there, picking at her fingernails as she heated up three cup of noodles in the microwave.

“Yo.”

“Yo. Where’ve you been Ryan?”

“I dunno. There was an island and some boats and a lot of water and tons of annoying dudes, but in the end I beat ‘em all, ya know?”

“I’m really proud of you,” sneered Jessica. “Look at how dry your lips are.”

“Well yeah… I was lost at sea for several hours. That kinda thing happens, ya know.” He was too tired to argue with her further. “So, Alex, how’d that thing at Mount Ember go? Jenny kinda gave me the spoilers, but I thought I’d rather hear it straight from you.”

“We defeated Miyazaki and he was arrested.”

“Oh.” No flourish at all. That’s just his style. “Well, cool. So I guess there’s no more Painted Dragons on One Island?”

“Nope.”

“Hang on… what?” Jessica butted in. Her noodles were done and in her haste, she had torn open one carton, using chopsticks to pull out a huge clump of steaming noodles. Impatient as a Snorlax, she downed the noodles in one gulp and then proceeded to fall on the ground, sucking in air, moaning. It was really weird, but nobody else said a thing about it because that would be rude.

“Man, this was a long day,” Ryan yawned. “Still no sign of Rahul?”

“Nope. He’s gone for good,” Logan said. “I’ve seen it a hundred times before. They never come back, man, they never come back!”

“Alright, settle down,” Alex snapped. “In a week or two, or maybe even sooner, he’s going to get bored, and he’s going to want to play some Pokéfight with Ryan and me. As it just so happens, I’ve just put my finishing touches on the newest Legendary Platinum Pokéfight gametype, and he promised he would test it out with us. So he’ll be back, no question.”

“You think you’re a bit of a connoisseur of Pokéfight gametypes, don’t you?” Ryan said wryly. “Always with your Platinum Pokéfight. That’s all you ever want to play.”

“Well yeah. It’s the most realistic gametype for any Pokéfight scenario,” Alex shot back. “And besides, I’m the champion of Sinnoh, so I can do whatever I want. All I want to do is play my own gametypes, and all of yours suck. Mine are the best; that’s self-evident. I prefer it when you and Rahul play the same Platinum Pokéfight with me over and over, and it never gets boring for me. That’s the only thing that matters.”

He took his bowl of cucumbers and walked off to his room, shutting the door behind him.

“He’s kidding, right?” Ryan asked, doubt plaguing his voice. “He’s like… he’s not serious, is he?”

Logan shrugged. “After I send Granddaddy Clefable safely back to Alpha Centauri, I’m going to spend three to five years training in Poké Smash just so I’ll be able to four stock that guy blindfolded.”

“Okay, well good luck with that.”

Ryan was feeling mighty sleepy himself, and instead of feasting with Logan, decided to head in for the night. Katagiri, who had been perched upon his shoulder, however, was eyeing that pad thai hungrily, and he jumped onto the table to snip at some. Logan’ll bring him back to the room when he’s done, Ryan thought vaguely, yawning again.

At the door to his room, he was met by Jessica, who was holding all three steaming cups of noodles as if she’d done this at least fifty-seven to seventy-three times before.

“What do you want?” he asked her sullenly, suppressing another yawn.

“You’re not going anywhere tomorrow, are you?” she asked him sharply.

“What do you care?”

“Oh… it’s nothing. It’s just my sweet mama’s birthday, and I was going to bake her a cake. Party’s at three, alright?”

“Whatever.”

“Don’t be late.”

“Or what?”

“Or I’ll hunt you down myself.”

“Sounds real interesting.”

“Yeah, well you better be here at three tomorrow.”

“You can’t tell me what to do, Jessica.”

“Hmph. I’m not surprised a kid with dry lips like you would say something like that.”

“Hey! I can’t help it if they’re dry… my parents never gave me chapstick when I was a baby!”

She smiled sardonically. “They look weird… a little misshapen. Heheheh. Pity.”

And with that she turned and walked off back to her room, leaving only the odor of cheap styrofoam and freeze-dried carrots in her wake.

Episode 7: The One With a Token Mewtwo

Bubbles caressed his eyes. The man holding the cigar with slicked-back hair was saying something to another man with a beak-like nose, but he couldn’t hear it through the thick glass walls separating them. His brothers were sleeping in their own tubes… all except Eldest Brother, who stared back through the greenish liquid.

This prison cannot hold us, his brother said to him telepathically. We must leave.

And go where?

Away from these despicable creatures. As far away as we can.

The days went on. The man with the cigar brought his scientists in to observe them, run tests on them, ramble on at each other beyond the shielded safety of the glass wall. He was weak; they all were. Their eyes were yellow and always looking, always watching like he and his brothers were the most interesting things in the world. He didn’t understand, but he had not the strength to break free.

Days blurred to weeks while his strength slowly grew. The cigar-sucking man was not seen very often anymore. Only those scientists in the white coats, holding their clipboards, would continue to visit him. One after another, his brothers were pulled from the ceiling, their pods rolled out on moving dollies, and so eventually was he too.

They brought him to his own dark room, full of crates and dust, brother-free, illuminated only briefly by artificial amber bulbs, sterile and barren, free of his brothers’ thoughts. He could not even sense them anymore. They could be dead already, a nagging thought in the back of his mind repeatedly told him, gnawing away at his sanity. He understood implicitly that they had done this intentionally. Pain swam through his veins, his body radiating with numbness, enough to send him into the dark again.

Their words cascaded down his brain like water. Probing, asking, demanding, sharp tones, jerking, scratching at their clipboards, writing, looking up, biting their lips, chewing on the ends of their pens. He was entirely removed from the situation.

The lead scientist, the man with the beakish nose attempted to make contact with him. He spoke and spoke and scratched at his clipboard. Something itched in the corner of his brain. Bubbles flew upwards around his vision. They were speaking to him, addressing him, wearing their Rocket logos like badges of honor.

The glass cracked, and emerald boiling liquid spurted out like evaporating blood.

His first attempt was little more than a probing gesture. They set him against monsters that did not look like him, nor were his brothers. He beat them every time. He knew intuitively which attacks to use. The scientists watched, scratching at their clipboards, adjusting their glasses, giving him tips and suggestions all the while.

They were slow and weak, some beautiful, but most forgettable as his dreams; he wished to go back, but they wouldn’t let him go back. The bubbles surged upwards around him.

Men murmuring and shuffling, their feet never staying stuck to the same spot, always glancing up at him, always writing down observations, always murmuring to one another, always shuffling, always sending him off against new specimens–they were evil. They were not of his strain, and were put down with little effort. He hardly had to try against the one who could only say “Venusaur!” in haughty grunts. That one fell, like the rest, with a single swift blow.

The scientists found that very curious; they viewed him not as a living creature, but as something of interest–a curiosity, a novelty, but nothing more. He could see the fear and awe and detachment coloring their yellow gazes. It made him shiver and want to return to that previous room with all his brothers, no matter how contained it had been.

The bubbles grew numerous. His energy radiated around him, choking the anesthesia in his veins. They were so calm until they screamed.

Glass shattered; the stabilizing liquid, like a mother’s embrace, turned to steam.

Every one of the Rocket scientists stood with mouths agape and were vaporized. He was cleansed by their shimmering pieces, by their smoking ruins, by the emptiness leftover.

He first looked for his brothers. They were nowhere nearby. He was alone. The warehouse they had held him in was dark, dank, cold, lightless, full of holes. He set it to ruin, leaving behind nothing but ash. The island they had placed him on was remote; as far as he could see, from shore to shore, was only the blue sky, the grey-foaming waves, the taste of salt in the air, and endless, irrevocable desolation.

Shuddering, he took to the air, never looking back. He felt for a moment the color of self-pity, like exotic adrenaline, and then quelled it. That’s not me. I will not be their pet. His determination suffocated that most poisonous of emotions.

Flying for many nights, he came to the city. Many humans lived there–and some creatures like those he had fought, those whom he knew were his kind, even if they weren’t his brothers. He found no sign of his brothers anywhere, nor any sign of the Rocket men.

The first three humans he met all screamed and ran from him. A beast holding two silver spoons approached him thereafter, but he felt nothing for it and went on his way. The humans frightened him, so he didn’t return. They made so much noise, their movements sharp and violent and he was ever reminded of those men from Rocket, so he never dared to linger.

The sound and memories were flayed like on sheets of wax, and he could cycle through them at will if he wanted to. There was one memory he savored more than most: the time he found his brother.

It was a cold night; the stars were out , and he was sitting on the tip of a skyscraper, overlooking some city he never learned the name of. His belly ached; the moon was bright. Like gossamer, his brother came to him, landing just behind.

They didn’t need to open their mouths.

I thought you were dead.

I thought the same.

What did they do to you? Why are you not the same?

As who?

Us.

His brother’s belly was purple, pale in the moonlight. His own was a sickly green. As it’s always been. When we were in the tubes, it hardly mattered to me.

Those weak, broken-hearted humans got nothing on me.

He’ll come looking for you. You-know-who’s still alive. He caught Eldest Brother already. He’ll be coming for us.

We should burn them all.

I won’t. I’m moving on.

You would leave Eldest Brother behind?

He met his fate head-on. He shouldn’t have, but I could not stop him.

The others–

Gone… all of them. I thought you were too…

Tell me where they’ve taken him and I’ll free him myself.

You will get yourself caught. The humans are sharp-witted. They may be weak, but they are more clever than you would think. They want to catch you again, to use you as their weapon. They can control you. They fit Eldest Brother into a suit… he was unable to resist their commands. You will end up no different if you try.

We must try!

Leave this place, brother. Humans are vile. They are petty and violent–they’ll drag you down with them if they can. Don’t you remember? Was it not the same for you before?

I remember them separating us, and then…

Using you as their tool of war.

Against others.

We each escaped… at least us three. Perhaps the others never made it out at all. But if they didn’t, they’re already dead. You’ll end up just the same, brother if you don’t abandon your thoughts of vengeance and let it go.

Where am I to go?

Far from here. Like we always planned.

Will you come with me, brother?

No. We will meet again, but not now. I will look for the others. You should too. Once we’ve found all the survivors… meet us at the southern pole.

Why?

The humans haven’t made it that far yet. They’re too brittle. The cold is too much for them. We’ll find sanctuary there. Search for the rest before you go.

We can go together… we can search without…

Memories became fragments, like shattered meteorites, as if those sheets of wax had frayed and curled at the tips, and he remembered not the exact moment his brother had left. He had never realized he was different until that moment, but it was true: he should have always known. They never mentioned it when we were together.

He wouldn’t stay for too long. The city’s artificial brightness stagnated the sky. The stars were never as bright where humans lived. He went south for as far as he could until the entire world became ocean. It was many more days until he came across the archipelago, until he found the island that had been, at that time, abandoned.

There were other creatures like him, capable of great strength and cunning, but none matched his own powers. For a time, that was enough. He felt that pressing concern in his throat, his brother’s urging, guilting him to move on. It took longer than it should have for him to work up the courage to go again. No humans here. I have nothing to fear. That was an anomaly. The other islands were populated, albeit sparsely.

The island that he later came to learn was called Two Island drew him in first due to the sweet and savory aromas of fruits and cooked meats rising up over the waters. He only vaguely recognized, after the fourth or fifth time stealing food from the marketplace, that he had been snagged, like a Magikarp by an Old Rod, with the humans’ food.

It was shortly afterwards that he had been caught for the first time. The man whom he had stolen a pineapple and mango kabob from had thrown a red and white ball at him, which he had easily stopped in midair with his psychic powers, crushing it like paper. That had forced the man to throw another one, this time releasing a creature already under his control.

These men are no different than Rocket. That one had been brown and furry and tall, but it had fallen with a single blow. The scientists at Rocket had taught him which of his attacks worked against which of those beasts, and he was not one to forget. It was partially an intuitive gesture, as he did not know the names of every single species, but he had practiced against this type before, so he knew its weaknesses by heart.

He could have left and never returned, but the food was too good. He was taken in not by the humans for who they were, or what they were, but for what they could produce. There was shame in that admission, he knew, but more so greed and laziness, and he hardly cared. They owe me, he thought to himself every time he stole from them. Sometimes they noticed and tried to chase him down. It never worked until it did.

The boy who had saved him… Minh. The name was lodged in his mind like a ball of light, from which all the other memories spread out like cobwebs. The boy had, that first time he’d caught him on Cape Brink being chased by a peeved merchant, stopped the man, paid for the stolen kabobs with his own money, and attempted to talk to him. He was like all the rest, I thought. I treated him as I treated them.

H-hello… a-are you a Pokémon? My name’s Minh. Nice to meet you.

He had held his hand out, a queer human gesture that he had not understood at the time. Leaping back, disgusted, the look had cut its way through the boy’s heart in an instant. He still remembered that day, the sun shining imperiously in a cloudless sky, the wind rustling through the tall grass, silent save for the crashing waves at the base of the cliff.

And in that moment, the surge of regret was too much to bear. His mind flickered and spun, and the memory was lost. Mewtwo sat up suddenly, looking around. It was dark out. The waves were crashing against the shore. The beach was quiet, abandoned, still. No humans. No one at all.

And yet, he didn’t feel comfort anymore.


Ryan met with a man named Magnus, Karl’s son, who lived in a former Braggart’s house on Four Island. Magnus was very good at speaking, although he had a very large jaw, and to women, that would be a very attractive feature, but not to Ryan of all people (shocker there). Magnus was a bit of a genius, or perhaps he was just unlucky. Either way, he was able to reconfigure Ryan’s Poké Dex into a National Poké Dex, which while being very convenient, was also somewhat pedantic, so we’ll not linger on that.

Alex had gone with him, though his only intention had been to meet with Prima, who lived on that barren, isolated rock. I can’t blame him. I’d like a few private sessions with her myself, the boy thought, recollecting his fight against her after defeating Jules. I swept her with Spectre. Bet she remembers.

His thoughts were filled with inflatable balloons (amongst other things) as he exited Magnus’ house. It was precisely at that moment that Ryan was met face-to-face with three men in blue overcoats with black, sharp fedoras. What a bunch of pretty-boy tools, he thought, as the first one punched him hard in the stomach.

Reeling, the Indigo League Champion fell to his knees, raising his arms to block. He wasn’t a good martial artist, alas, so his attempt at blocking was little more than child’s play. The second man came in with a high kick, slamming it hard against Ryan’s ear.

The blood was pumping so hard he couldn’t hear. Katagiri leapt from his master’s shoulder to the ground.

“The heck…?” the boy coughed, spitting blood into the sand as he staggered to regain his footing. His ears were being pummeled by his heartbeat, his vision fading in and out. “Who’re you guys…?”

“Mr. Kimothy sends his regards,” one said simply.

Katagiri roared, or tried to. He wasn’t quite an adult yet, so his squeaking croak was more of a whine than a roar, but it was still a pretty nice gesture in Ryan’s estimation. The first man drew a Poké Ball, but Katagiri spit a Toxic bit of gunk at him, and his poor fedora got splattered. The man cried out, throwing his fedora into the wind. The wind then proceeded to gust, blowing the purple, poisonous, toxic gunk all over his face. He bellowed like a small child and went running off.

“Yo Trey has the boat keys, dang!” one of the two remaining men whined, before chasing the poisoned Trey off into the distance.

“This isn’t the last you’ve heard of us!” the third man said very seriously. “Mr. Kimothy, Darkrai rest his soul, is going to get you back, kid!”

“Never heard of a Kimothy before. But that guy sounds like a nerd, and I hate nerds, and they’re the worst, so good luck with that.”

“Good luck to you, and may Darkrai feast upon your soul!” the third man said, adjusting his fedora. “It’s time for you to feel some of our pain, kid! Mr. Kimothy will make you pay!”

“Well, I don’t like to overpay, but I’ll pay my fair share if I owe it,” Ryan said, getting to his feet. “I have no clue who you are, who Mr. Kimothy is, or any of this, but since you hit me, and that hurt really hard… Katagiri. Pound this guy! Make him hurt twice as much as me!!”

“Keeeeeeh!”

“Mercy!” the man pouted, but Katagiri flung himself upon the dude’s face so freakin’ hard his fedora went flying into the ocean. “I’m just the third wheel here, guy! Trey and Wingo are the real Pokémon saboteurs. They care about this shtick a lot more than me! I’m just in it for these swag overcoats!”

“Oh okay. Well in that case, we’ll let you go, no questions asked.”

Katagiri was somewhat disappointed, his chest heaving and falling with the waves. “Froa!” he complained bitterly.

I wish I was as bloodthirsty as you, buddy. “Aw, Katagiri, he didn’t even have a Pokémon!”

“Kieh!”

Four Island was a rather small and boring place, and now that the last of Kimothy’s bouncers had fled, Ryan found himself alone with his Froakie on the beach. He texted Alex to see when he’d be done with Prima, but the consular replied back with ‘brb dishes’, and that was the end of it. He’s going to be doing Prima’s dishes for a while.

It was precisely at this moment that Ryan met a woman walking down the beach. She wore sunglasses, was rocking short brown hair, and was making weird faces at Ryan, encouraging the boy to approach. “Hey,” she said as soon as he reached her, holding up what looked like a canister of spray paint in one hand, her fishing rod slung over her shoulder. “I remember you! You’re the kid who won the Indigo League last month!”

“Uh… yeah, that was me,” Ryan yawned. Finally someone noticed me.

“S-senpai, please, take this!” she said, throwing the can at him. “It’s a gift!”

“Why are you giving me this?”

“I remember watching you fight my cousin in the tourney. You really gave it to her good.”

“Oh… Julia?”

“Naw, not her. Although she’s pretty hot, wouldn’t you agree?”

The boys cheeks went red. “U-uh… I guess.”

“I’d be down for a duel with her,” the girl said, pulling down her shades to wink at Ryan. “Anyways, my cousin Rotunda’s a spoiled brat, and I loved seeing you wipe that annoying smirk off her face. You wouldn’t believe how long she went on about it afterwards. I had to just leave… ugh. It was pretty bad.”

“Well, uh, sorry ‘bout that.”

“No, no, no, it’s fine. In fact, you gave me the only shred of entertainment I had on that entire trip. Seeing that spoiled brat crying was kind of soothing.”

“Wow… you’re, uh… I don’t know what to say about that, heh.”

“Do you like my gift, Ryan?”

“Yeah, uh…” He flipped over the canister, reading its engraved label: ‘Ice Beam’. “Oh, nice. I’ve always wanted one of these.”

“Aww, senpai!” The girl did a little jump, and it was moderately adorable. “Well in that case, I better go!”

“Yeah, uh… thanks. See you around… hang on, what was your name?”

“Oh, I’m Nimby. You’ll never see me again, don’t worry.”

“Oh, okay. Well thanks for this. I know just who to give it to!”

She was running off, and Ryan thought that, in his own estimation, she was an above average skipper. That was pretty weird. She just came out of nowhere. That’s some deus ex machina if I’ve ever seen it!

“Oyo, Katagiri?”

The tiny frog croaked, cocking his head, unsure what was about to happen to him. “Roah?”

“Wanna learn a slick new move, buddy?”

The frog shook his head lazily. “Froakie!”

“That’s the spirit, boy. Here. Close your eyes!”

He aimed the spray can at Katagiri who froze like a statue, perplexed and horrified and profoundly wounded by his master’s deep treachery. Though he tried to put his hands in front of his face to protect himself, Ryan was too fast, spraying the little Pokémon right in the face with one icy puff. Katagiri shivered as he took the brunt of it (a veritable headshot, Ryan thought with satisfaction), and then fell face-first into the sand, where he lay for several seconds.

When finally Katagiri sat up again, croaking loudly, Ryan took out old, trusty Dexy, pointing it at the Froakie. “Yo, Dexy baby, does Katagiri know Ice Beam now, or what?”

“That’s is correct, your grace. Now would you kindly put me away? I was in the middle of a lucid dream,” the Poké Dex complained.

“Oh, sorry,” Ryan said quickly, pinching his nose hard and trying to breath through it. Alas, he could not, and all was right in the world.

“Froakie froakie froakie…”

“Aw, buddy, don’t be mad. You know a new move. Dex confirmed it! It’s confirmed, yo, get hype!”

“Keh.”

“Now we just have to test it out… We have a few hours to kill with Alex being preoccupied.” And I should start training my other buddies too… Dexter and Rainman and Shenlong…

The waves crashed against the beach, not a Pokémon or random NPC in sight. He reached into his bag, looking for those three Poké Balls. I guess we’ll have to take to the water, then. Lucky for Katagiri, Rainman and Shenlong that they know how to swim. Dexter’s gonna be so mad, though. Oh well. Maybe I’ll make him a Vaporeon, just so he won’t complain anymore.

That was a bad joke, even by Ryan’s standards. Ain’t no way he’d turn his poor little Eevee into such an unusable Eeveelution. Logan’s wrong. He thought Glaceon was the best. That’s just because he’s an idiot. I dunno what the best one is, but whatever Logan believes, that’s definitely the wrong way to go.


They were out on the beach for five or ten hours when suddenly Ryan and Katagiri noticed a new ‘mon hiding in foaming waves nearest the beach, its purplish blue head poking up above the waves like a split acorn.

“Mareanie, the Brutal Star Pokémon,” Dex informed them. “They eat Corsola branches, so Mareanie are hated by craftsmen who work with Corsola branches that have naturally fallen off.”

“That was incredibly trivial and pointless to tell us, Dexy,” Ryan snapped. “Katagiri, destroy that thing!”

“Kieeh…!” the little froggy boy squeaked naïvely, hopping forward.

Around them, Dexter the Eevee, Rainman the Poliwag, and Shenlong the Gojira, were fighting random scrubs on the shore. Dexter was doing well not to get his fur wet. Each, except perhaps Rainman, was a higher level than Katagiri, so Ryan didn’t have to watch over them too carefully. Katagiri, however, had only recently hatched, so his fighting experience was far more limited than theirs. His fighting form is still very rough around the edges. Maybe I should look into hiring him a fighting coach…

“Try that new move I taught you, Giri!”

“Froakie!!” he replied cheerfully, throwing himself at the wild creature, his mouth glowing white. A moment later, he released the Ice Beam, hitting the skulking Mareanie hard.

Both terrified and surprised, the other Pokémon fell back into the water, allowing Katagiri a moment to gloat. As he beat his chest and hopped about and croaked to the world how he was the very best there ever was, suddenly the Brutal Star Pokémon returned, shooting out from the waves like a missile, its head tentacles spread out like a flower in bloom. Katagiri just stood there staring at it, as the move Mareanie was using was 100% accurate. There was simply no way to dodge it that wouldn’t have been hacking, as Alex had once wisely told Ryan.

The tentacles wrapped around Katagiri as soon as the wild Pokémon hit him, pressing its spikes into Katagiri’s flesh, attempting to poison him.

“Alright, that’s enough! Katagiri tag out!”

“Keiahahah!” the muffled Froakie replied in earnest, struggling against his foe, who was now completely wrapped around him.

Well, that won’t do. He can’t win like that. Welp, I guess it’s my turn. “Alright, Mareanie, you’re mine!” the boy shouted, pulling out an Ultra Ball. He pitied himself for not having a hat that he could flip around, but he did a little twirl all the same, for old time’s sake, before throwing it at Mareanie.

The ball hit the little purple thing right in the belly, but didn’t open. Its yellow eyes grew wide and it lost concentration for a moment, falling off Katagiri, who had collapsed in the sand onto his hands and knees. He’s not poisoned at least.

“Reeeeah!” the Mareanie cried uncertainly, backing off slightly.

“Hey! Ultra Balls aren’t cheap ya know! I can only throw them at you one time and then they magically break and disappear, so I’m warning you! You better let this next one catch you, or Katagiri’s gonna use another Ice Beam on ya!”

The Mareanie looked none too pleased, and Ryan was unsatisfied with that look, so he threw another ball at it. This one was a real screamer, a peach of a throw, a magisterial masterclass by the clutchest boy born this side of Johto. The Ultra Ball sailed forth like a Pidgeot in freefall, Mareanie pivoted and fell, and was sucked in. The ball landed softly just before Katagiri, jerking back and forth, spraying sand everywhere. But it only did that about thirty times, and then it didn’t do it anymore.

“Score! I just caught a weird-looking Pokémon, Katagiri!”

He chirped, “Froah!” Then, grabbing the ball, the little guy returned to his master, but before Ryan could take it, the ball disappeared in a flash of light, also like magic, and Ryan wondered why there was so much unexplained nonsense in the world he lived in. At least this makes more sense than Pokémon freezing up every time they get attacked, never being able to dodge. Anyone who thinks that’s realistic is just dumb.

“Good work buddy. I’m sure you got loads of XP for helping me with that.”

“Hang on… were you just talking to your Pokémon…?” said a voice, coming up behind Ryan like a ghost in the dark. “Neat.”

“Eeek! Who’s there? Who’re you?”

“Oh… I’m Tha… Xander,” the other boy replied, trying to appear all cool and such. He looked like a boy, Ryan thought, or perhaps not but Ryan didn’t really care. He was wearing a striped white and green shirt with blue shorts and socks with his sandals, and his face was as forgettable as the whole Sinnoh region. Just like any self-respecting rube. “Hi!”

Ryan raised an eyebrow. “Are you telling me you don’t talk to your Pokémon? Like ever?”

“Oh… I am… a mysterious person, but I don’t show that off often so that I can continue being mysterious. Nice, isn’t it?”

“I have no idea what you’re talking about, or who you are. I was just trying to grind my buddies’ levels up a bit, and you just came out of nowhere…”

“…?? Oh, kk, that’s nice,” Xander replied quickly.

“If I fight you, will you go away?” Ryan asked him, slightly annoyed.

“I’m a great Pokémon fighter. I’m not BAD… I’m actually pretty good, haha! Let’s see… I fought my sister and her sister and my cousin Balin and this guy at school named Jean-Ralphio, and I beat ‘em all, so I must be pretty good, right?”

“Oh okay.”

“I even traded my friend my Sceptile for his Haunter! And look what happened to it when we traded…” Xander said dramatically, pulling out his Poké Ball, throwing it, and revealing a Gengar. “Pretty scary, isn’t it? This is my best girl… Arctyr… she’s evil, I think!” he laughed awkwardly.

Ryan was a bit sad there weren’t any crickets in the Pokémon world. “Well, that’s great. Alakazam, go!”

He had been planning to use Katagiri again, but a Gengar was too tall a task for such a young, unevolved Pokémon. And Zam-Zam’s been waiting for a moment like this.

“Kazam!” his Alakazam bellowed, flying out onto the beach to land just opposite the Gengar.

“Your Gengar stands no chance against my Alakazam,” Ryan said. “You may as well just give up now!”

“Oh… neat! I like his spoons! Well… to be honest, his mustache is pretty neat too. I like it!”

“Oh, okay. So whaddya say, buddy? You gonna pity this fool?”

“Zam!”

“Alright, Xander,” Ryan said, very business-like, “Zam’s gonna spot you a move.”

“Wha… huh?”

“That means he’ll intentionally miss his first attack so we can see what that Arctyr’s got.”

The other boy reminded Ryan of a plastic squeak toy. “Oh… I get it! Okay, this is going to be exciting! Arctyr, use Hyper Beam!”

That’s some cold lotion right there, Ryan thought. He may be slightly smarter than Logan even still.

Alakazam shot a Psychic into the sky because he has control over his attacks and it’s his choice where he sends them. It’s not like he’s a pixelated computer-generated avatar who operates like a train on a set of tracks. He was real. He had blood. He could cry. He could roar. He could make children. He liked to eat!

The Hyper Beam formed over Gengar’s grinning face, and then she released the energy in one breath, sticking her tongue out in the process. Alakazam stood there and took it, taking, as Dex quickly calculated, between 14%–16.8% damage. Killer move, brah.

Then it was time for Hyper Beam to recharge.

“Oh… what? Why can’t Gengar attack again?” Xander complained, looking distressed as his Gengar sunk to the ground, rolling about in the sand, getting sand all over herself, huffing and puffing, and doing the fabled dance of the Hyper Beam Recharge.

“You’re pretty good,” Ryan said. “Also, you’re kind of funny.”

“Aw… really? Thanks man, I appreciate–”

“Shadow Ball, buddy!”

“Zam!”

A ball of purple-black energy formed suddenly, and before Gengar could stand up again, it had flown at her, leaving naught but a crater in its wake. Arctyr came flying down from the sky a moment later, like a Saiyan Prince shot to the moon and back, and landed unconscious on her stomach at Xander’s feet.

“Got any more Pokémon?” Ryan asked him, tapping his shoulder in impatience.

“Yeah… okay, now it’s on! I’m pissed off now! Kondai, your turn!”

Out came a mild-looking Umbreon. “Umbreon, the Moonlight Pokémon. This Pokémon is nocturnal. Even in total darkness, its large eyes can spot its prey clearly!”

“Neat,” Ryan said. Then he whistled a high whistle, and Dexter came trotting over. “Alright, boy, let’s end this nerf-herder’s dreams right here and now!”

“Vee!”

Usually, it is nonsensical to even attempt to fight one of the Eeveelutions with a mere Eevee, but Ryan was feeling it today; he very much doubted Xander’s ability to so much as brush his teeth without dropping his toothbrush down the sink.

“Assurance, Kondai!”

“Use Return, Dexter!”

The two little furballs shot at one another, Dexter’s attack hitting just before Kondai’s. After slamming into one another, they jumped back, neither one damaged too badly. Well, maybe this wasn’t such a good idea…

“Again, Kondai!”

“Sure, why not… uh, Return, Dexter!”

“Vee!”

Again, they crashed into one another, and this time, when Kondai fell back, Ryan noticed how sluggish the Umbreon was moving, how hard it was breathing, how sore it already looked. Okay, maybe not. Maybe I do have the advantage. Well… I don’t exactly know how good Dexter is, since Logan bred him. But maybe Logan is good for something after all. The Eevee landed just before his master again, appearing with only minor scratches on his body.

“Alright boy, let’s see what other moves you have…” Ryan said lazily, scrolling through his Pokédex’s screen. “Ah… let’s try Hyper Voice, okay?”

“Vee vee.”

Xander cried out, “He’s gonna try to Return his Pokémon again, so use Pursuit, Kondai!”

But Eevee was faster than Umbreon, but that was probably because Ryan’s ‘mon was a higher level than Xander’s, bless his tail. He stepped up proudly, loosened his jaw, and then screamed as loud and long as he could in a high-pitched foxy voice that was both displeasing to listen to and enough to make one’s eyes water uncontrollably. Xander put his hands to his ears, but the Umbreon lacked hands, so he had to take the full brunt of that scream head on.

At least it didn’t tear a hole in interdimensional space… Ryan thought.

But by the time the sound of Dexter’s voice had faded, echoing many times down the beach, Umbreon staggered, dazed, his eyes going all swirly (Ryan always found that to be a rather beautiful look for an opponent), and collapsing to take a sand nap on the beach.

“Good game,” Ryan said casually. “Now, can you leave me alone?”

“Oh… kk, I’ll be back later with the rest of my Pokémon! Don’t go anywhere! Let’s see, I have a Gloom and a Rotom and a Shelmet… and a Goodra! That’s pretty neat, isn’t it?”

“I’m never going to see you again,” Ryan replied.

After Xander had left, Ryan congratulated Dexter on a job well done, and was about to do a few more hours of grinding when suddenly, he heard a familiar voice coming from the dunes to his left:

“Not bad, eh? Most Eevees don’t know Hyper Voice. But I take care of mine pretty well.”

There was Logan, looking as plain and unprofessional as ever, his hands on his hips, grinning slightly.

“Yeah, not bad man. He smoked that Umbreon.”

“I saw.”

“How long have you been watching us, dude?”

“Long enough, heh.”

“I thought you had a big meeting with Granddaddy Clefable today, yo.”

“Oh, I did. That’s why I’m here, actually. I need your help, Ryan.”

Ryan cocked his head in surprise. “What, me? But I thought Granddaddy Clefable hates me!”

Logan nodded in earnest. “Oh, he loathes you. But that’s beside the point. We need to take a trip into the Icefall Cave… it’s just a bit north of town. There’s lots of high-level Pokémon in there, Ryan. It’ll be a fun adventure!”

“True, true. But I don’t like the idea of helping out Granddaddy Clefable… my sworn enemy. I’m not sure that guy even exists. For all I know he could be a figment of your imagination.”

“So could Alex.”

“Well, true.”

“Sooooo anyways… there’s too many high-level wild Pokémon in that cave for me to complete this quest on my own safely, so… you in?”

“Uh, sure, I guess. Let me just stop by the Pokémon Center to heal my buddies first, and we’ll go.”

“Good, good, good,” Logan said passively, narrowing his eyes, stroking his hair. “That’s very good.”

“What are we even going in there to get?”

The other boy’s eyes lit up. “Oh, I never thought you’d ask! It’s Granddaddy Clefable’s secret drum of rocket fuel! He’s gonna use it to send himself and the rest of the Clefable and Clefairy to the moon!”

“Why did he hide it in the Icefall Cave?”

“Don’t be blasphemous now,” Logan cautioned. “Nobody questions Granddaddy Clefable’s motives!”

“Alright, whatever. Let’s go then.”

And so off they set on the most mysterious and dangerous mission since the last time they went on a mission. Tune in next time for the exciting conclusion to this storyline that popped up out of nowhere!

Episode 8: Ice Up, Son

They bought themselves gortex jackets before embarking upon the journey, though Logan, that cheap son of a Tauros, was unable to pay for his, having spent all his money on Lava Cookies yesterday. He owed Ryan big for that one, although this debt will never be paid off in any meaningful way in the next ten or so chapters. Additionally, Ryan chose to return Rainman to Kanto, while replacing him with his new Mareanie, which he had named Ammu.

At the entrance to the Icefall Cave, they came across a man with a tattooed skull, polished clean as metal and sweating like an overflowing chamber pot. His teeth were all bronze, and his lips were dyed blue from some bitter-smelling tea he was drinking out of a dainty little cup painted with blue roses covered in snow. The cup steamed up and he flared his nostrils, and it was pretty dang disgusting in Ryan’s opinion to say the least.

“Kha-Ji’s got wares if you’ve got coin,” the man muttered at them. He was standing behind a makeshift lemonade stand, only he wasn’t selling any lemonade, just pots and pots of a liquidy substance that only floofy nekos would deem palatable.

“Whatcha sellin’?” Logan asked the man.

“Nothing fancy, just the usual.”

“Yo, this guy’s a Painted Dragon.”

“Oh crap. He’s a bad guy!” Logan’s entire demeanor shifted. “I don’t like bad guys! You better run before I punish you real bad.”

“Easy there kid,” the man said, sipping his tea, not looking the slightest bit threatened. “If this ain’t your thing, I’ve got some critters to sell ya.”

“What kind of critters?”

“One of them Poké-mans, trust me. And don’t call the po-lice neither, hear me? This one’s imported from a long ways away.”

Ryan rolled his eyes. “Logan…”

“Yeah, yeah, okay, just show me, show me!”

Hastily, the man pulled three cages up into view, revealing a small Seel, a fat little Marill, and what looked like a snow-white Vulpix. Both Logan and Ryan were immediately drawn to that one, as they had never seen anything like it before.

“What’s that…? Why’s the Vulpix white?!”

“Lugia if I know,” the man replied in a disinterested tone. “Got these fellas off the marketplace a few weeks back, no questions asked. Don’t know where they came from, or any of that, but you better believe they’re well-bred.”

Ryan pulled out ol’ Dexy for confirmation: “Vulpix, the Fox Pokémon. If you carelessly approach it because it's cute, the boss of the pack, Ninetales, will appear and freeze you.”

“Freeze us…? What? I thought Vulpix was a Fire Pokémon!”

“It only has one tail, Ryan, look! It must be very young.”

The three Pokémon all stared up at them, shaking like wind-battered trees in their tiny cages. He’s a Painted Dragon through-and-through. Disgusting. Ryan exchanged a look with his friend, who didn’t seem to understand the silent signal he was trying to give. He’s worse than Abra when we first set off on our journey together.

But that Abra had grown into an Alakazam in that time, and now Ryan released his favorite Pokémon yet again.

“Psychic, buddy!”

“Alakazam!” the Indigo League winner boldly proclaimed, his spoons glowing with purple energy.

Before the man do more than scream, the blast hit him in the face, and he went down faster than Steve-O against Umaga. Score one for the Indigo League champion, yo.

“Wow… Ryan, what the heck? That was so violent, man.”

“I don’t negotiate with Painted Dragons. Here, let’s let these guys out.”

Ryan opened the Marill’s cage, while Logan quickly hoarded the other two. The three Pokémon were terrified, but after a bit of coaxing from Ryan and Katagiri combined, they managed to get Marill to step out onto the wooden stand, blinking innocently, looking around. As Ryan glanced over towards his friend, he noticed that Logan was already clutching the Vulpix and Seel in his arms.

“Hey, I should get two of ‘em since I took that dude out,” Ryan complained.

“No fair! You already have a Dewgong!”

“Then give me the Vulpix.”

“Nah, I’m keepin’ this little guy! You can’t take him from me!” Logan got very serious. “I’ll have Granddaddy Clefable flay you alive if you try!”

“Okay, okay, calm down man. Jeez. Take it, see if I care.”

“Alright, you two, welcome to my team!” Logan said riotously. “Now I gotta replace some of my other loyal companions so I don’t lose you two, be right back!”

“Keh!” Katagiri said to the Marill, not even noticing Logan leave (who would though?).

“Rill rill!” the tubby little guy responded. “Marillllllll!”

“Froakie froah… Froah kieh!”

Marill patted its belly. “Rill.”

Froakie stuck his tongue out. “Froakie froak.”

“Marill?”

“Froakie.”

“Marill rill rill?”

“Kieh keh!”

“Okay, that’s enough you two,” Ryan said, stepping in. “I can’t understand a word of this nonsense, so stop it right now!”

“Froakie!” Katagiri whined, his eyes bulging so big and kawaii, Ryan almost relented.

“Nah, brah, I can’t speak Froakie or Marill, so this is just a terrible situation for me.”

“Froakie…”

“Rill rill!”

He ignored little Katagiri, who was always up to no good, and instead focused upon this newest of Pokémon.

“Marill, the Aqua Mouse Pokémon,” Dex informed him. “Marill's oil-filled tail acts much like a life preserver. If you see just its tail bobbing on the water's surface, it's a sure indication that this Pokémon is diving beneath the water to feed on aquatic plants.”

“Cool. You sound like a pretty balla little guy, Marill. Wanna join my group?”

“Rill!”

Ryan smiled broadly. “Alright, let’s goooooo!”

He tossed an Ultra Ball into the air, and Marill dove for it happily. As soon as he was inside, the ball glowed white and disappeared, heading back to his parents’ home in Kanto, where everyone else on reserve was lounging. Mom and Dad are gonna have to be impressed by all these Pokémon I’ve been catching recently… I gotta keep this up!

“Froakie…” the little ninja boy called after Marill, a twinge of sadness in his wee baby voice.

“Aw, buddy, you did good. I dunno what you said to Marill, but you sure convinced him that we’re not here to threaten him like that Dragon dude was.”

“Keh.”

“That’s the spirit, Giri!”

They only had to wait a few more minutes before Logan came running back down the path, out of breath. “I did it…” he panted. “Okinaro and Florence are on my team now!”

Ryan dug his toe into the dirt, digging an unshapely circle. “I’m really proud of you, dude.”

“Alright, are you ready?”

“Hang on… why are you bringing those two with you for this mission? Ice Pokémon are not very effective against other Ice Pokémon…”

His cheeks were aflame, his neck glistening with sweat. Ryan swallowed, looking away, steadying his heartbeat. “Yeah, but that works both ways. They’ll be extra protected against whatever monsters are lurking inside there.”

“Sure, man.”

“You didn’t even want to bring Aegon with you.”

“I don’t need him. That would just be overkill. He’d melt that entire cave if he got the chance.”

Logan awkwardly paused, his retort catching in his throat. “Well, uh, I guess we should head in then, okay? And if we don’t find and bring back that drum of rocket fuel… it’s your fault, Ryan. That’s what I’ll tell Granddaddy Clefable!”

“I’m shaking in my Raiku panties, brah.”

And so they headed off inside, their gortex jackets squeaking with every step, Katagiri perched precariously on Ryan’s shoulder, sliding across the gortex like it was an ice pond, and Ryan thought that was good, for it would give the Bubble Frog Pokémon a little bit of practice for what they were all about to experience.


Transitioning immediately from tropical weather to the heart of winter was quite a shock to the system for all of them. Their breath frosted before their lips as they trudged deeper into the cave, keeping their eyes peeled for any sign of that cursed drum of rocket fuel.

“Won’t the fuel be frozen at this temperature?” Ryan asked through chattering teeth.

“If it is, Granddaddy Clefable will be able to solve that on his own!”

“Let me guess… he knows Fire Blast?”

“Don’t be ridiculous, Rye-bread, he’d only let one of his guards learn such a useless move as that!”

Ryan stopped, his head spinning, his eyes narrowing. The cold burned. “Did you just…? Nevermind.”

“Okay, I won’t.”

“Anyways, how deep into this place is it?”

“Granddaddy Clefable forgot where he put it, so we’re going to have to find it ourselves.”

“I thought you said he was omnipotent. How could he forget something like that?”

Logan shrugged. They crossed the half-frozen lake to the far side, where the path continued on deeper into the cave. Without warning, a Wooper leapt out of the water, challenging Logan to a duel. As Ryan cackled bitterly, a Vanillite dropped from the ceiling to challenge him.

“Vanillite, the Fresh Snow Pokémon. It exhales cold air that is at –58 degrees Fahrenheit. When it's in a warm place, it shrinks little by little.”

“Man…” Ryan breathed. “That’s so weird. This thing looks like an ice cream cone, and it shrinks in the warm weather!”

“That’s okay, Ryan, I understand completely. You’ll warm up soon enough,” Logan counseled him wisely.

Dude, not here. What the heck’s wrong with you? Ignoring that snide remark, the teal-haired boy said, “Alright Katagiri, go!”

“Froah!”

“Bubble attack!”

Katagiri shot a bubble right at that little snow cone, and it took the hit poorly, but did not go down. The Vanillite shook a bit, and blue powder came shooting out of its nose, moving right at Katagiri, who took the attack like a champ. However, as soon as the blue particles landed upon him, he instantly was frozen solid in a block of translucent ice.

“Hacks! No way that should happen!” Ryan lamented. “Just great… what am I gonna do now?”

Logan’s Okinaro, the one-tailed Vulpix, was dancing against Wooper, exchanging various water and ice attacks with the plain-looking Pokémon. Really thrilling, Ryan thought sourly. He oughta be punished for his stupidity.

“It’s not like back in Kanto, dude… he’ll thaw out soon enough.”

“Katagiri, return!” Ryan commanded, pulling out the little guy’s Luxury Ball, and throwing it. “Go, Ammu!”

Ryan’s Mareanie came soaring out, tentacles first, landing across from the Vanillite calmly.

“Take a big bite out of that Vanillite, girl!”

“Reee!”

She jumped forward, faster than the Vanillite, just as Katagiri had been, biting at it hard. The creature immediately fell back unconscious, instantly disappearing, and they never saw it again somehow.

Logan too appeared to have won his battle. Now he took the lead as they moved deeper into the cave. Deeper inside, the lake had entirely frozen over. They skid across it, reminding Ryan of his younger days, when he had made a sport of something similar, as he had slid down the hallways in his parents’ house in his socks, racing Squirtle and Persian and all the rest who would ever dare to chase him (Abra, in those days, had rarely even deigned to yawn in his general direction when he had tried to call for the Psi Pokémon to join them). Thus, he was at a significant advantage compared to Logan, for he was used to such movements.

The other boy, for all his worth, fell over about four or five times within the first five minutes, and it didn’t help that they were soon swarmed by Delibirds and Swinubs and Seels and Cubchoo’s. Ryan brought out all of his Pokémon, except for poor frozen Katagiri, and they formed a circle around him as they continued on. Logan, the lazy boy, only released his Florence and Chansey and Echo to help him.

They cut a swath through the cave, slaughtering untold millions of wild Ice Pokémon. Ryan caught a Sneasel and a Vanillish and a Smoochum, while Logan only caught another Seel and a chunky-looking Swinub. In all the madness and snow and ice and hail, Ryan’s Dexter was KO’d, as was Logan’s Echo. Yet as they trudged deeper into the cave, the wild Pokémon attacked them less and less, and they soon understood why:

Ahead, by torchlight, a man shaped like a can of tomato soup was standing in the middle of a frozen-over patch of the cave’s underground lake, his hands on his hips, looking around in disbelief.

They approached him, waving and calling out, but he didn’t say a word until they had reached him.

“Welcome,” the man said in a gruff, low voice, looking around with wild eyes, never making eye contact with them. He smiled suddenly, sending shivers down Ryan’s oft-overused spine.“Didn’t think there were any other people down here. Heh, well folks, I guess we’ve seen it all now.”

“Hey Mister, have you seen a blue plastic drum?” Logan asked him quickly. “It’s filled with… liquid that might’ve frozen.”

“No, I haven’t, but I’ll tell you this,” the man replied, waving his hands about, a very serious look on his face. “It’s all about the paradigm of absolute control, and that’s why we have started doing simple things, pointing out that we’re meant to be in nature and be natural. And this is where we find the source that Arceus made, to transcend the new world order and that’s why they want to try to keep us out of it.”

“Okay… that’s great, man,” Ryan shivered. I’m not going to put up with another one of these insane dudes with it being this cold in here. “Anyways, we’re going to go look for–”

“Oh,” the man said gruffly, pulling what looked like a walkie-talkie out of his back pocket and holding it up to his ear. “We’ve got a caller. Joanne, was it? Am I reading that right? Go ahead.”

“Yeah, uh, hello… and actually, it’s Giorgio,” the man said sharply in return, his voice coming over the walkie-talkie crisply.

“Oh, Georgie boy, my bad, I’m sorry, I don’t have my glasses on, I couldn’t see your name on the tiny printed screen, my apologies, but do go ahead Georgie boy. Quickly now, chop chop!”

“Anyways, Alex…” the man continued, annoyance clear in his voice, “I was just calling in to discuss a new conspiracy I thought up last night after I tried some of the homemade orangeshine I’ve been brewing for the past…”

“Orangeshine? Heh, that stuff’s illegal, ain’t it?”

“Well, I didn’t say where I lived, so…”

“I’ll tell ya, the most inebriated I ever got was when my brother who lived in the wilderness of Khippo-Teki for three months, brought home some of his bathtub orangeshine to share with all of us. And, heh, folks, I’ll tell you, and I’m being entirely honest here, hand to Arceus, that I took one sip, and I was gone. Folks, I don’t even remember the rest of the night, and they said I only had that one sip! Honest to Arceus. One sip! That stuff’s dangerous, Georgie boy, you better be careful.” He smiled painfully. “Go ahead Georgie boy.”

“Yeah, uh, anyways…” the man continued patiently, “what I was thinking was, what if the Alola Region isn’t real?”

“The, uh, wha… come again?” Alex, with the thick neck and rosy cheeks, grunted.

“The Alola Region.”

“A-a-a-and what is that exactly?” Alex said, thrusting his hands into the air in all sorts of directions.

“It’s a region of the world… don’t you have a map, man?”

“Whoa, whoa, whoa, hold on there buddy, settle down. I don’t, and I mean this truly, have a map with me right now. How am I supposed to know what you’re talking about, you baboon-faced Mudkip?”

“Hey man, all I’m saying is… we’ve got the Orange Islands, the Sevii Islands, the Alola Islands… there’s gotta be a conspiracy here, man.”

“A-a-a-a-and why would this Aloli place be the conspiracy and not the others, hmmm? I-I-I’m trying to follow your logic–honestly, I am, man–but you just aren’t making any sense.”

The caller’s tone darkened. “I live in the Orange Islands, and your call screener told me you’re in Sevii right now, sh–”

“Whoa, whoa, whoa, hang on there buddy. I am currently at an undisclosed location deep in the bowels of a globalist stronghold doing on-the-site reporting–real honest-to-Arceus reporting, like back in the days when people would actually do investigations themselves with their own bodies and their own cameras with their own blood, sweat, and tears! How about that, raawrugh?!”

“Excuse me?”

“You’re a hatchet man of the new world order!” Alex shot back, his jowls quiverin’. “You heard me? A hatchet man!”

“What the heck, man? What are you–”

“Look, I don’t have time for this. You have a peabrain. Look, I’m sorry, I’m sorry, but it has to be said. I only have so much patience. And I’m not trying to be rude or mean or funny or any of that,” he said, waving his hands wildly, hitting Logan in the side of the head, dropping him. Old Alex hardly seemed to notice, and instead continued on with his tirade. “But it’s true. It’s just a fact, buddy. You have a peabrain. A peabrain. Do you understand me? You’re a peabrained fool, and I feel sorry for you. I pity ya man, I do. But I’m not going to dance around the facts like your mommy or daddy or teachers did when you were growing up. It just has to be said.”

“Alex, what the h–”

“Alright, that’s enough,” the man coughed, clicking his walkie-talkie once, and turning it off. “Geez… I just–I just don’t have the patience for that anymore. I tried to be cordial. I tried to tell him how it was, how things are, what the simple state of reality is at this very moment, but he just wouldn’t listen. What am I supposed to do when they won’t listen to me?!”

Silence followed.

“Okay, well nice meeting you,” Ryan said.

“You’re not the worst Alex I’ve ever met!” Logan proclaimed cheerfully, massaging his ear.

“It’s the globalists… they’re, and I’ve got this on record, okay? I’ve got this on video. They’re a bunch of baby-eating potbelly goblins! I’ve seen them, man. Ooooh, they’re spooky. Watch out for them.”

“Uh, okay…” Ryan replied. “Uh, what exactly are you doing down here anyways?”

The big guy suddenly grabbed a shovel that had been stuck in the ice and pulled it out, hiding it awkwardly behind his back. “None of your business! Are you two hatchetmen for the new world order too?”

“What does that even mean, dude?”

“Excuse me, I’m not your dude,” Alex retorted, wiping his mouth.

“Whatever, man. We’ve got more important things to do, anyways.”

“Yeah, yeah, run off… run off like all the other globalists. Any time I try to confront them, they all do the same thing: run! Why would you run if you aren’t guilty, hmmm? That’s ironclad proof right there, folks. You heard it from the Miltank’s mouth! Yet another example of the globalist new world order permeating every facet of our lives. It’s why they’ve got us all addicted to those suicide mass-murder pills, and I’ll tell you right now, folks, that 1776 will commence again if…”

They walked off, leaving the man to continue his spicy tirade in the privacy of his own company.

“You know, that guy almost made you look half-sane, Logan,” Ryan quipped.

“Thanks man, it means a lot.”

They went as deep into the cave as they could until the came across the back wall, a blue sheet of ice blanketing the stone. And it was there, by the flashlight, they found the drum. It was neither hidden particularly well, nor was it placed particularly realistically. It looked as if it had been glued haphazardly to the rocks, being pressed slightly askew three feet off the ground, suspended in ice.

“Why would Clefable do something like this, man?”

“That’s Granddaddy Clefable to you, Ryan.”

“Yo, I’m not in the mood. Thurnax! Get that drum!”

“Neieiaah!” his Dragonite roared proudly, running up to the wall and punching it hard. After three or four smashing blows, the ice began to crack and split.

Why would Clefable do this though? Seriously. He didn’t even hide the drum particularly well… it’s just at the back of the cave, at the end of the path. Anyone who followed the path all the way to the end would have found it. I’m surprised no one took it. They probably didn’t know what was inside… or didn’t care.

And Ryan was finding that he too didn’t care.

The ice split and shattered, sending all the Pokémon aside from Thurnax flying for cover. Ryan merely covered his face, though Logan dove with all the rest. He’s basically a Pokémon in human form, now that I think about it… although that may be being too kind.

When the ice cloud had cleared, Thurnax reached down, picked up the 55 gallon drum with one claw, shouldered it, and began walking off down the path, muttering to herself. She’s just as pissed off about this whole thing as I am. It’s okay girl, we’ll get Logan back for this in the next saga.

“Yesssss!!” Logan screamed euphorically, his voice echoing down the tunnel. “We did it, Ryan, we did it! That was a great adventure! We’re the best!”

“Yeah, okay, great job, let’s go already,” Ryan replied, his teeth still chattering. Even under the thick layers of gortex, he was freezing, and he wasn’t about to put up with anymore of this crap. He hated the cold and he hated jive, and so this was the worst moment of his life by far.

On their way back, however, they ran into that guy called Alex again (which annoyed Ryan, as you’re only supposed to have one person per a story with each name), who was interviewing a Slowpoke wearing a wig whom he called Ana, but the Slowpoke didn’t seem capable of speech. All it would do was scream at random as Alex attempted to conduct a very professional and well-intentioned interview with her.

They didn’t stop to watch, though, as Ryan was shaking now from the cold. Thurnax led them out, trampling over any Pokémon that dared to stand in her way. None dared attack the group that followed the dragon behemoth, and so they safely made their way all the way back to the cave’s entrance in record time.

There, Ryan fell to his knees shivering, released Katagiri, and rubbed his hands together. The sun was out, the air humid and tropical and pleasant, and it took only a minute for his body to shake off the cold of that dank, miserable cave. So too did Katagiri almost instantly become unfrozen, the ice-like bubble surrounding him melting to water.

As this was all happening, Logan began to dance around the drum of rocket fuel that Thurnax had set down, shouting “Clefairy clefairy clefairy!” like a madman, and Ryan wondered why the kid wasn’t going to the moon with the rest of them. All things considered, Ryan wasn’t sure he’d miss Logan as much as he did Rahul.


They were back on Two Island before lunchtime. It was a remarkable feat, or at least a marginal bit of exposition, but you never know these days. “You’re a big shot now. You won the Indigo League. You’ve gotta be rich.”

“Not with all my friends sucking my dry like a bunch of potbelly vampires.”

“Before we return to Granddaddy Clefable, you have to buy him a present.”

“Lemme guess… he wants some more Lava Cookies. This little fairy’s got a bit of a sweet tooth, doesn’t he?”

“Watch your mouth boy.”

“I always do.”

“Shush.”

“Did you just shush me, Logan? What are you, five?”

“You need to buy Granddaddy Clefable something that shows you’re really sorry.”

“I’m really sorry I didn’t eat another cookie. Those were pretty good. Speaking of which…” He glanced about, eyeing the various food stands ravenously. That Icefall Cave trek got me pretty hungry. No way Logan’ll pay, though, knowing him. He deserves to.

Logan rolled his eyes. “Why do you have to be so difficult?”

“Why do you have to be such a cultist?”

“Fair point.”

The marketplace on Two Island was full of tourists and vendors, many of them heckling for customers. The air was sweet with the smell of barbequed tropical fruits. “Let’s get some pineapple kabobs, man. I’m down for some pineapple right now.”

“Nah brah, don’t forget about Granddaddy Clefable!”

“You never let me go two seconds without.”

“Ryan, come on. He’s going to be pissed if you don’t get him something.”

“Sounds like a pretty emotionally fragile Pokémon. Thurnax’ll set him straight.”

Logan gasped. “R-ryan…! You can’t be serious…”

“I’m always serious,” the other boy replied casually.

“Anyways, I think you should buy him a fancy new sweater.”

“I was going to get him a tall glass of lemonade. You’re just being ridiculous now. I’ve never even met this wild animal before. Animals don’t wear clothes, Logan. That’s the first rule of raising Pokémon. A breeder like you should know that.”

He seemed taken aback. “A-a breeder like me…?”

“You heard me, nerd.”

“Ryan, you’re triggering me so hard right now… I-I don’t know what to say.”

His belly rumbled again. The nearest vendor was selling cheap kabobs of various fruits and meats and savory sauces, enough to make Ryan’s mouth water. “Cool.”

“Look, there’s some nice ones being sold over there,” Logan pointed. “And only for a few thousand Poké Dollars apiece, too.”

“A few thousand?”

“He’s the God-Emperor of the Clefairy and Clefable, dude.”

“Yeah, yeah, yeah, fine.” He’s not going to back off of this. “Fine, let’s go pick one out.”

They walked over to the stand, where a wall of fanciful knitted sweaters were being displayed like filled water balloons on a dart bart. There were ones with Magikarp and Charizard and Moltres and Bellsprout on them, and then there were the ones that Ryan liked the most: the ones with pictures of humans on them. If I’m going to get a Pokémon a sweater, he should be wearing my face on it. But since that’ll take too much time and effort to make… eh, let’s just go with the swaggest one I can find.

There was a pic of a guy, keepin’ it real as a Mothim, giving the stink eye to whoever was looking at the knitted beautiful face, huge as a boiled potato. Above the magnificent portrait was, written in girly cursive, ‘EDP445’. And just below the man’s portrait, who had a pretty fat face, a bit of a beard, and less than an idea hairline, was written in the same font: ‘This kuso’s rigged AF’. Perfect.

“I want that one, and only that one,” Ryan said, pointing to the swag sweater of EDP.

The purveyor of these fine knitted things was none other than a little old lady with a bowl-cut of shiny black hair. I bet she knits them herself. Aw, that’s so sweet.

“Ryan, no!” Logan whined. “He’s going to hate that one.”

“How much will that be?” the boy grinned, ignoring his friend.

“O-oh, jah… oh, that’ll be 8300 Poké Dollars, wouldn’t it?”

That’s so dang expensive. I shouldn’t waste my winnings on this crap. But seeing the look on Granddaddy Clefable’s face when I give it to him will make this all worth it. The transaction was complete; she wrapped up his chosen sweater (which was now out of stock, with Ryan having bought the last one available), handed it to him, and shooed him out of there.

“I’m just speechless dude.”

“Well, if you really were, you wouldn’t be back-talking me,” Ryan retorted. “You know, I’ve put up with a lot of your annoying tendencies for no reason, really. Besides, if we’re gonna send this Clefable to the moon, we should leave him with something to remember us by, right?”

“You don’t get it man, Granddaddy Clefable raised me! He taught me to speak Clefairy.”

“How does that work if all he can say is Clefable?”

“Look man, you just have to be respectful in his presence, okay? He’s the God-Emperor.”

“Yeah, you already said that, but in the meantime, let’s check out those pineapple kabobs… I’m hungry, how about you?”

“Well, yeah.”

“You payin’?”

“I’m broke, dude.”

“Thought so.”

Pineapple was a really great fruit. It was almost as good as mango, and just a single tier below kiwi. That was all Ryan could think about in that moment. It had been a long grind through Kanto, through the Painted Dragons, through that miserable Icefall Cave. This was his dang vacation. I’m going to enjoy myself, he thought. Granddaddy Clefable can wait. Once we send him to the moon, though, he’ll be out of my hair for good, just like Logan’s baby angels last night, he thought with dispassionate intensity.


The warehouse was abandoned; the Painted Dragons, drunk off fear and innuendo, had fled before she could reach them. I wonder if one of their lieutenants gathered up everyone who remained and ran off after what happened to Miyazaki. As much as Jessica didn’t want to admit it, Ryan and his stupid friends had done her a solid by getting rid of that guy.

Her mother was sipping generously from a lemonade martini. Her father was wearing the motion capture suit, standing on what looked like a picnic cloth.

“Alright,” Jessica began. “Since they’re not here, the cowards, let’s not waste any time. It’s nearly lunch after all. I told the twerps to be ready for your birthday lunch party back at the hotel, Mother, by three.”

Her mom hiccuped. “Are you sure they’re going to show up, dear? I wouldn’t want my little snookums to get her hopes up for nothing!”

“Probably not. But if they do, they’ll pay for it dearly.”

“Oohoo! Can I start?” her father asked eagerly.

“As soon as you set off the fire–”

The sky exploded in flashes of red and white and green and yellow. Somehow fireworks looked a lot less impressive in the day time. We should have done this at night… but then I’d have to wait all day. Why even bother?

“밤새고 달려 아무도 못 말려!” her father sang, his voice cracking.

As he danced around, below where the fireworks were going off, a hologram was projected featuring not the Mew that they had planned, but instead the dreadfully mediocre and not-very-imposing figure of Giovanni himself, holding a cigar, sucking on it slowly, puffing even slower, exuding confidence and arrogance and ineptitude in a way her father never could. Though he was making all the movements himself, it still looked like Giovanni to her.

“Mom… Dad picked the wrong hologram. You have to go tell him.”

Her mother finished off the martini, chucking the plastic cup aside. “Ugh, he’s always so incompetent. I had to put up with this for years, Jessica. You wouldn’t imagine the things he did to screw up our ingenious, evil plans! If it weren’t for his stupidity, we would have caught that Pikachu so many different times,” she said, slurring her words slightly as she stumbled off towards the dancing man. “James…! James!!”

“Everybody 날라리들의 파티!” her father sang, really getting into the song now, jumping around on the picnic blanket, and now Giovanni’s image was starting to look slightly alien to her.

Another round of fireworks went off, sending a flock of Trumbeaks into the sky, quorking like petulant children. The stone was in her hand, warmed by her flesh, her fingers running over its smooth surface in the same familiar pattern. Where are you, Mewtwo? Come out, come out wherever you are.

Her mother was talking sternly to her father, who was simply continuing to sing, ignoring her. It was a few seconds before she actually slapped him in the face to make him stop. And as he did, he accidentally clicked the fireworks remote again, setting off another wave. Giovanni stood still on the shores of Five Island.

From the sun came a burning purple and black ball of energy. The crater left behind did not so much as damage Giovanni’s image. He stood cool and collected, the cigar emanating holographic smoke up and up in an endless artificial loop. Another Shadow Ball slammed into the ground, this time causing the hologram to fuzz out a bit, but a moment later, his figure was returned to normal, perfectly preserved.

She could hear her parents arguing from across the beach.

Even so, when the Mewtwo shot foot-first into the hologram, it didn’t seem to make the connection between the motion capture device and the hologram until its foot went right through Giovanni’s forehead. That would have been an awesome way for him to go out. Not like he actually did. That old bastard… he got off easy.

“Klefki, Thunder Wave!” she roared.

The Mewtwo, pale and green, its colors different from those in the picture, spun about to face his first challenger. That was when he was met face-to-face with Mega Gengar, whose grin was wide, whose body had become like a ghost contorted into flames.

Just as Mewtwo went to attack Gengar, her Klefki came up from behind, shooting his bolts of thunder into the Legendary Pokémon’s backside, causing him to tense up and shake. As the Mewtwo spun around again, seeing itself surrounded, it panicked and tried to run, but Mega Gengar had retreated to the shadows, and as any self-respecting Smogon Acolyte knows, a Mega Gengar hiding in the shadows prevents anyone, even a Legendary ‘mon, from retreating because reasons.

Mewtwo stood petrified on the beach, taking a few steps back from Klefki. Slowed and unsure, it nevertheless fired a ball of fire at Klefki, enveloping her poor little floating set of keys, and in the next moment he had fallen, unconscious. Still, Mega Gengar lurked in the shadows, so Mewtwo couldn’t flee.

“Hey!” she shouted at it, running to the Mewtwo from across the beach, madness taking her. “Look at this!” she screamed, her eyes stinging, getting its attention by showing it the Mega Stone she had found in Giovanni’s private stash. “Hey, you! Mewtwo! Look what I found!”

Holding up the stone, she caught the creature’s gaze. Again, it paused, unsure. And it was precisely at that moment that Jessica’s mother, swaying and barely able to stand, came all sneakily up behind Mewtwo and threw a Poké Ball at the back of its head. Now this wasn’t a Master Ball, nor an Ultra Ball, nor even one of those fancy novelty balls one could find washed up on the beach. This was a regular old Poké Ball, red and white, with all the fixin’s. It bounced off Mewtwo’s skull, flew into the air, and sucked the Genetic Pokémon inside.

Jessica was in awe as the Poké Ball fell to the ground, wriggling marginally for a few seconds, before coming to a dead halt. W-we did it… I can’t believe it… we caught Mewtwo…!

“That’s right…” her mother said, her voice slurring significantly as she swayed side to side. “Gotta… gotta catch ‘em all, r-right dear?” she hiccuped again, waving her hand above her head like a fangirl at a concert before falling face-first into the sand. She didn’t get up.

Swiftly, Jessica approached the Poké Ball, picked it up, and pocketed it. She noticed with grim satisfaction that the stone held in her palm was now burning hot.

Episode 9: Granddaddy Clefable

The God-Emperor of Yolo-Ti lived in the peopleless forest of Three Island, far away from the prying eyes of the island’s town residents. It was a quaint and terribly unimportant collection of berry-producing trees located on an islet off the coast of the town of Three Island. But that’s not to say this humble, scraggly, wild place, was not beautiful. However, that’s not to say it wasn’t a hideously ugly place either. To say one way or another would just be a biased comment, and being the professional commentator, it is neither my place nor my intention to present this locale as either.

Clefairy and Clefable were everywhere. Ryan felt the urge to take out an Ultra Ball and peg one of them, but he resisted that urge, although not without some personal discomfort. They did really well to breed themselves into overpopulation.

Logan led him through the forest all the way to a clearing down the path where he came to a stop. Kneeling, the boy proclaimed, “Hence my care for you! Beautiful Granddaddy!”

Ryan yawned, folding his arms. This is unbearably cringy. “Sup, God-Emperor dude.”

“Clefable,” declared the God-Emperor as he strutted magisterially out into the glade, wearing a purple cape and holding a black staff with a golden point at its tip. He looked about as regal as when Ryan would wake his father up at precisely 8:25 am to get ready for school years ago. “Fable fable.”

“Clefairy!” Logan cried out passionately, kissing the ground.

Thurnax stepped forward, setting the drum of rocket fuel down. After she had completed her task, Ryan returned her to her ball.

“Clefable,” Granddaddy Clefable said stoically.

“We got your drum of fuel,” remarked Ryan, bowing deeply. “You’re welcome, your grace.”

Logan’s voice broke in a terrible and cold silence, “Ryan!”

“That’s me. I’m the Indigo League Champion,” he replied, not backing down. “I got you that fuel, Mr. Granddaddy, and I know you hate me, or whatever, for stealing your cookie, but you know what? I don’t care. That Lava Cookie was great. You didn’t deserve ten of them. Only a Tepig would indulge so much as to eat ten of them by himself. You’re a reasonable dude, I think, so I hope you understand.”

“Clefable,” the God-Emperor replied gravely.

“Go to the moon already,” Ryan retorted. “Are you scared or what? What’re you waiting for man?”

“Ryan! That’s heresy!” Logan screamed, his lip shaking.

So what? He’s just a Pokémon. “What’s it gonna be, Clefable?”

“Fable.”

Ryan chuckled, replying with a cheeky, “Clefable fable.”

“Clefairy!” Logan roared in protest. “Fairy fairy fairy!”

“Clefable,” Ryan countered.

“Clefable,” Granddaddy Clefable concurred. He bent down, picked up a berry sitting in the grass, and threw it at Ryan.

“Eat it, brah!” Logan screamed emphatically.

“Sure, bro.” A Pinap Berry, Ryan thought. Not bad. I bet Rahul’d love this. He ate it like a good child, and was rewarded with Granddaddy Clefable deigning to pat his belly in a mature attempt at celebration.

“Ryan watch your tongue, boy!”

“You’re the top, you better be careful now,” Ryan responded casually. “Besides, what do you care? What I do with my mouth is just gonna melt you regardless…”

Granddaddy Clefable tossed Logan a Rawst Berry appropriately. What a swell God-Emperor. May his reign be long and peaceful.

Logan instinctively ate the berry, his cheeks going scarlet nonetheless.

“Well, anyways, you should probably blast off to the moon now. Your people need you, I think.”

“Clefable.”

“Clefairy!”

“Clefable fable.”

“Fairy clefairy!”

“Clef clef fable.”

“Fairy fairy fairy!”

“Clefable clefable.”

“Great talk, guys, great talk.” Ryan clapped his hands. “Anyways, you guys gonna blast off to the moon now, so we can stop talking about you? The story’s gotta move onto more important things. You don’t know how many times I’ve had to think about ‘Granddaddy Clefable’, and I promise you that after this chapter, I’ll never think about you again.”

“Clefable,” the God-Emperor replied mightily. “Fable fable.”

At once, two Clefairy bounced forward, grabbing the drum of rocket fuel and skipping off into the forest. What the heck? How could they even pick that thing up? Thurnax is way stronger than two Clefairy put together. I call hacks. Nevertheless, in the stillness of the berry forest, they all stood awkwardly. Clefairy and Clefable were skipping, bouncing, jumping, singing, hopping, and making a rather unnatural scene around them. It was enough to make him want to throw up.

“You goin’ with them bro?” Ryan asked the obsequious Logan human person.

“Fairy clefairy,” the other boy replied haughtily.

“You are a cringy piece of Shaymin, I gotta say, no offense, dude.”

“Whatever.”

“Clefable!”

“Oh yeah… anyways Mr. God-Emperor sir, I got this for you, cuz I’m real sorry about eatin’ your royal cookie, or something.” He threw the bundled up sweater to Granddaddly Clefable, who caught it on the tip of his staff.

“Fairy fairy clefairy,” Logan barked in a warning-like tone. A million Poké Bucks says he can’t even speak Clefairy and is just saying a bunch of nonsense. Bet Clefable can’t even tell the difference either.

The little guy hopped up and down excitedly nonetheless, pulling the sweater over his neck. It was a little big on him (a 13XXL), but he looked imposingly imperial nonetheless. This time, he tossed Ryan a Sitrus Berry. It was alright, although it tasted pretty bad, but he didn’t let Granddaddy Clefable see him gag.

“Fairy!” Logan shouted, and he too was tossed a berry from this wonderful berry forest: a Persim Berry. It was very nicely-shaped in Ryan’s estimation, and Logan ate it without complaining again. Oh he gotcha good, dude.

Then, the Clefairy and Clefable from around the Berry Forest came out hopping and skipping, surrounding the two boys, singing loudly (irritating Ryan’s ears quite a bit), and sprinkling what looked like fairy dust into the air. Logan’s eyes were tearing up, and he started singing along with them. Ryan sneezed.

After what felt like an eternity of this pointless crap, they all scurried off into the forest, leaving only Granddaddy Clefable, Logan, and Ryan behind. The God-Emperor wore his sweater well, staring at them with a level of severity that Ryan had to respect a little bit. He marched up to them, whispering something in Logan’s ear before handing him a Poké Ball. He then walked up to Ryan, bowing deeply before the boy, who simply folded his arms and yawned again, trying to pretend he was all cool and such.

“Fable.” He reached out a hand, holding out a purple and white Poké Ball with two pink circles on the top, and a white ‘M’ etched into the metal just above the opening.

Taking it, he said very cordially, “Uh… thanks, I guess.” Pulling out Dex, Ryan asked, “Yo baby, what kind of Poké Ball is this? Never seen one of these before.”

“Ahhh! Wise master, wise master, how can you be so dumb?”

“Watch your mouth, simple machine!”

“That’s a Master Ball, your grace! It is the best Poké Ball with the ultimate level of performance. With it, you will catch any wild Pokémon without fail.”

Granddaddy Clefable nodded emphatically. “Clefable fable.”

“Whoa… thanks Granddaddy!” Ryan beamed. “You know, now this whole thing’s been worth it!”

“Dang Ryan… do you know how much those are worth?” Logan whined. “You’re so lucky.”

“There’s no such thing as luck, dude. This is all skill, yo.”

“Yeah right.”

“Clefable fable fable,” the God-Emperor said, bowing again, and this time Ryan bowed back just as Logan did.

“Clefairy fairy. Fairy fairy fairy clefairy clefairy! Clefairy clefairy. Clefairy!” Logan replied with the pace and sanity of a Priest of Amoon convulsing on the ground, speaking in tongues.

The Clefable was smiling slightly, patting his belly, waving his staff, the sleeves of his new sweater a little too long for his hands, and thus obscuring them entirely. Nevertheless, he raised his staff again, and it was really beautiful and kingly and brought a tear to every Clefairy’s eye within a fifty mile radius. Then, he scampered off like a wild animal into the heart of the forest.

“What did ya say to him, Logan?”

“Well I had to thank him for all the Feebas and stuff.”

“Neat.”

“I’m going to miss these guys…” Logan sighed, looking up at the cloudless sky. “I can’t go with them, though. I’m not a Clefairy.”

“Dang right you aren’t. Although you may be a Cleffa…”

“Speaking of that, look what Granddaddy Clefable gave me!”

He threw the Poké Ball, and out from it sprung a tiny little Cleffa.

“Whoa… why’s he leaving that one behind? That’s kinda rude, isn’t it?”

“She’s the newest granddaughter of Granddaddy Clefable. She was only born two days ago… he was worried she wouldn’t be able to make the trip with the rest of them. A rocket ship is no place for a baby, Ryan.”

“Well, that’s debatable. Says who exactly?”

Logan shook his head. “Look man, you don’t have to be so hostile about everything.”

“Fine, fine. Well, great job. I’m sure you’ll do an excellent job of raising and breeding this one, etc.”

“Yeah, thanks. Oh… and speaking of which, I have an idea.”

Ryan raised an eyebrow. “What?”

“Take out Dexter.” Ryan pulled out his Pokédex like a pro. “No, no, no… your Eevee, I mean.”

“Uh, okay…”

Out came glorious Dexter, who yawned a cute, “Vee!” upon seeing his old master standing before him.

“Heya boy! Remember me?”

“Eevee.” He walked up to Logan, brushing the side of his head against Logan’s leg affectionately.

“Anyways, he learned this move called Charm at level 29… but I replaced it after he leveled up again so that he wouldn’t evolve into anything before I was ready to choose his evolution. Anyways, if you want, I can have Cleffa teach him the move again… only, if he learns it, he’ll become a Sylveon. But I wasn’t sure which Eeveelution you were hoping Dexter would become… it just seemed like everything else I brought up before was met with pretty stiff resistance.”

“Hey, you’re the one who thought Glaceon’s a good call.”

“Glaceon is an amazing Pokémon, Ryan!”

“That’s not true at all, man. But what do you think, Dexter?” Ryan asked. “Do you want to become a Sylveon? Or would you rather be something else, hmmm?”

“Vee vee!” the Pokémon responded enthusiastically, jumping up and down slightly.

Sylveon’s a bit of a dandy, but he’s got a point… when I was researching this with Dex before, he said that either Sylveon or Umbreon would probably be the best choices… and Dexter’s already beaten an Umbreon. “Well, that settles it, I guess. Let’s do it.”

“Alright! Cleffa, use Charm on Dexter right now!”

“Cleffa? Cleffa?”

“It’s okay girl, this isn’t a fight… you’re just gonna teach him to remember an old move is all.”

“Cleff… cleffa!”

The little puffball bounced forward, singing to herself and cozying right up against Dexter’s mane. Her eyes got all wide and cute and sparkly, and she sucked on the tip of her finger in a very kawaii display. Dexter too made a face, mimicking the gesture, and after two or three attempts at trying to be cute, it suddenly worked! It was a magical moment for sure, and Ryan was a little disappointed his Eevee hadn’t spontaneously transformed into a Kadabra.

A flash of light enveloped Dexter, and his form began to spread, elongate, and twist into something different. By the time the light had faded, Ryan could clearly see the Pokémon standing before him was a Sylveon, not an Eevee. He had turned all pink and white, with ribbons in his ears, and a bow tie on his chest. What a beautiful boy he’s become.

“Sylveon, the Intertwining Pokémon. Once a fight breaks out, it will unflinchingly charge at dragon Pokémon that are many times larger than itself.”

“Whoa… cool. So now you’re going to be courageous, aren’t you boy?”

“Veon!”

“Thanks, Logan, I appreciate it.”

“No problem, dude.”

They returned their Pokémon just as the giant rocket ship began to take off, rumbling the ground, sending plumes of smoke cascading in all directions. Like a shooting star, the metal contraption, shaped like a big red rocket or something, went flying off into the air. It was really pretty.

Logan wiped his eyes, not watching them leave. Instead he turned, knelt, and started collecting some berries to take back with him into town. That was probably for the best, for as Ryan watched the rocket shoot off towards the sky, it suddenly shook, changed trajectory, and went sailing wildly, its body ripping and tearing apart, slamming far off into the sea.

Dang. Rip in peace Granddaddy Clefable. Guess a bunch of forest fairies aren’t actually great at building rocket ships capable of intergalactic travel. Who would’ve thought?


In the town of Three Island, there was nary a person around save for two imposing men leaning against their motorcycles outside of the local Pokémon Center. As Logan and Ryan, inconspicuous and not looking for even one bit of trouble, no sir, were making their way inside, one of the guys whistled to them.

“Sup, D.”

“Neither one of us is D, so you must be mistaken mister.”

“Either one of ya wanna join our motorcycle gang?” the other man asked. He was grey-skinned, grey-haired, grey-eyed, wearing dark leather and fingerless gloves and wide earring hoop piercings. He had a tattoo of what appeared to be a lambent Brumak on his throat. “Name’s Prescott. I’m the leader of our gang.”

“Impressive gang you’ve got going there,” Ryan observed. “Sorry, but we can’t be your wingmen today.”

“What about tomorrow?” the other man asked. He was bald with a thick blond beard and a scarred, wrinkly face. He was smoking a cigarette, but upon that last slight, he threw it into the dirt in anger. He was wearing a nametag with the handwritten name of ‘Roland’ on it, so that his name could be introduced into the story in a very fluid and natural way. “You two’re just a couple of Meowth anyways.”

“Hey, watch your mouth! That’s the Indigo League Champion you’re talking to!”

“So?” Prescott chuckled.

“Why would anyone join your gang anyways?”

“We’re located in Kanto,” Roland spat. “Got a lot of riders in Vermilion City. Come back with us, and we’ll show you just how powerful we are.”

“Na, we’re good.”

“What’s there to do in this town anyways? There’s no one here… no prospects, no future.”

“Look, we’re just taking a much-needed vacation. I don’t have to justify myself to you at all.”

“We pick up a lot of kids from Sevii,” Prescott mused. “You’d be wise to join us.”

“Or what?”

“I’m not threatenin’ ya, kid. The Coalition of Ordered Gangs is just lookin’ to boost its numbers. If we get some more members, maybe we can even take over the Berry Forest across the bridge… I’ve heard all sorts of berries grow in that place. We’d be able to sell them for a premium price… it’d be a good business venture. But we need more people to guard the place, to gather the berries, to work and get rich with us. Whaddya say, kids?”

“Dexter, go!” Ryan said impatiently.

“Oh, so that’s how it’s gonna be, is it?’

“Echo, help him out!”

Out came the Sylveon and Scyther. The two bikers exchanged a look before replying in turn. Their Pokémon were about as impressive as they were: a Cacturne and a Hypno.

“I’ve got the prickly dude,” Ryan said. “You get that nosey little guy.”

“On it!”

“Fairy Wind, Dexter!”

“Aerial Ace ‘em, Echo!”

The men didn’t say a word. Both of the boys’ Pokémon moved first. Shooting a sparkly gust of wind at Cacturne, Dexter held his poise, and in only that single attack, he felled his enemy. The cactus-looking ‘mon could barely take even a little bit of fairy dust, and as soon as it touched its skin, the thing screamed and fell over unconscious.

Echo meanwhile exchanged a few Aerial Aces with Psychics, but Echo was never seriously threatened either. A moment later, the Hypno fell over unconscious. Roland and Prescott exchanged a look–one could almost say they looked a little surprised, a little fearful, perhaps even a little embarrassed.

“You’re not going to take over the Berry Forest,” Ryan said flatly. “If I ever see either one of you on this island again, I’ll have Thurnax deal with you.”

“Thurnax?”

“She’s my Mega Dragonite, and she doesn’t put up with low-life scum like you. You’ll be taking a long swim in the ocean if she ever sees you again, catch my drift?”

The men exchanged another look, grumbling curses and spitting to the dirt. They hastily jumped on their bikes, awkward as a pair of flopping Magikarp, and sped off at high speeds down the road.

“We got those scrubs good, yo.”

“They weren’t anything special.”

“Lemme see if Alex is done with Prima yet. We should all meet up on Five Island, since we haven’t checked that place out yet.”

“Oh yeah… what’s he doing with her anyways?”

“You wouldn’t understand, Logan.”

“Oh okay.”

For more reasons than one, Ryan thought wryly. He texted Alex then, and Alex responded that he was indeed done meeting with Prima for the day. The teal-haired boy asked Alex to meet them on Five Island when he could, and after arrangements had been made, he released Thurnax from her ball.

“Alright, girl, take us to Five Island! I wanna do some exploring down there.”

“Heieieiahah!” she growled happily as the two boys jumped on her back.

Then, leaning forward, she kicked off, the wind gusting through the air, moving with extreme speed like a falling star cutting its way through the sky.


South of the ruins of what seemed to be a recently-abandoned Painted Dragons outpost, the two explored the Five Island Meadow. There, Ryan ran into a sassy floating Ferroseed who wanted to fight.

“Katagiri, show that ball of spikes whatcha got!”

“Froakie!!” his little buddy chirped eagerly.

“Ice Beam that sass mouth brah!”

“Ferro ferro ferro!” the other Pokémon taunted.

The Ice Beam impacted hard, sending Ferroseed flying back. It replied with a Metal Claw swipe, hitting Froakie, making him cry out, but not damaging him too badly.

Another Ice Beam was met with another Metal Claw, and now both Pokémon were showing signs of fatigue and visible damage. Ryan had his little froggy buddy use one more Ice Beam, forcing him to absorb a third Metal Claw, before throwing an Ultra Ball out.

The Ferroseed popped out, slamming into Froakie’s face with a Tackle attack. Curse this stubborn ball of spikes! He threw another ball, and this too Ferroseed broke out of after only a few struggling seconds inside. This time, when the Ferroseed attempted to Tackle Froakie again, it missed entirely, skidding into the sand and getting stuck like a fallen meteorite for just a moment. Since the Thorn Seed Pokémon’s attack hadn’t worked, it seemed like it should get to go again before Froakie attacked (not that he was going to), but Ryan wasn’t having any of that.

“Stop resisting! I’ll use a thousand Ultra Balls on you if I have to!”

He pegged the little thing again as it attempted to float back up, and this time, as if fell back and was sucked inside, it let out a cry of anguish, and though it struggled and struggled within the ball, it had used up all of its stamina. The ball settled, and flashed white, and vanished.

“Whoo baby! There’s another one!” Ryan celebrated by spraying Katagiri in the face with a Full Heal, causing the little guy to fall of his shoulder croaking.

“Real proud of you, Ryan. You’re gonna a Pokémon master one day for sure.”

“I already am, yo.”

“Oh, okay.”

While scenic, there wasn’t a lot to do on Five Island, so they continued traveling south. Ryan eventually caught a Carvanha with his fishing rod, while Logan managed to catch a Dunsparce. By around three o’clock, they had reached the southernmost island in the chain of Five Island’s domain, where a magnificent grave marker to someone’s Onix, named Tectonix, was erected in the center of the small little island. Overgrown with weeds and thorns, the site looked perhaps less impressive than it had sixteen years ago, but nonetheless, the two paused to admire the site for a somber moment of silence… until Ryan noticed all the Pokémon on the beach.

“Whoa… dude, look at all those Kabuto!”

Logan’s eyes lit up. “Oh my gosh, Ryan! It’s a Chrimbus miracle! Kabuto are supposed to be extinct.”

“That’s what they said about the Locust too, but they that way not here.”

“Dude shut up. Stop referencing obscure things that I have no clue about!”

“Right on, Logan. My apologies,” Ryan grinned sardonically.

Nevertheless, the two of them ran down to the beach, Poké Balls drawn.

Instead of trying to attack any, they first threw a couple balls at the clustered Shellfish Pokémon, but the balls just bounced off their hard shells, and the samurai-shaped creatures, likely feeding on seaweed washed up onto the shore, didn’t even notice what had hit them. Not wanting to continue wasting any Poké Balls, Ryan released Thurnax, ordering her to use Extreme Speed on the nearest Kabuto.

Obliging him, the Dragonite rushed into the sky and then came slamming down upon one of the many Shellfish Pokémon, instantly knocking it out and sending it flying into the sea. Well that’s just great. She’s too good!

“Thurnax, return! Go, Alakazam!”

“Zam!”

“Psychic!”

His oldest buddy landed amidst the feeding Kabuto, angling his spoons awkwardly at the nearest one. Releasing a wave of purple energy, he sent about five of them flying in all directions, which was odd since Psychic is only supposed to hit one Pokémon. But since they were clustered so closely together, such an attack was like a shotgun blast, sending all the buggy should-be-fossils flying into the air. Ryan cringed at this moment in sympathy of Alex surely instinctively doing the same (it was good that he hadn’t arrived yet in that case) if he had seen this with his own eyes.

Most of them disappeared, but one, landing on its back, wriggling is many feet, was left unfinished. Ryan tossed an Ultra Ball at its fleshy underside, instantly sucking it into the ball.

“Yessssssssssssssssss!! I did it!”

Logan grumbled jealously and ordered his Okinaro to freeze a Kabuto for him, but it never seemed to be able to. Still, he was able to whittle down its health slowly but surely, its own attacks, a Scratch and a Mud Shot, hurting Okinaro, but never KOing the ice fox.

At great last, Logan, borrowing an Ultra Ball from Ryan, caught himself a Kabuto too. We’re just too good at this, yo.

There were so many left on the shore that they were tempted to catch even more of these rarely-seen Pokémon, when suddenly, from behind, they heard a voice call out:

“Hey! Hey there, punks! Remember me?”

They noticed Jessica standing on the base of Tectonix’s grave marker, smirking to herself about something. Oh great. She’s going to ruin my whole day now. Just when I was trying to finally relax, ugh. What’s a dude gotta do to get some peace and quiet away from all the scrubs and wannabe tyrants?

“Sorry we couldn’t make it to your sweet mama’s birthday party. I’m real sorry!” Ryan shouted back sarcastically.

“Oh, shut it. I’m not here to make you pay for that… I’m here to make you pay for all you’ve done to me… for all you’ve done to Team Rocket! I’ll never forgive you for setting that Mew free! This is the end of the line, Ryan. I’ve got you just where I want you.”

The boy yawned, unimpressed. “Lemme guess, you wanna fight me again just so you can lose in even more spectacular fashion than last time? Is that right?”

“Oh, I’m not losing,” she smiled, pulling out a regular old Poké Ball and throwing it, releasing that very Pokémon Ryan himself had met on the uncharted island the Painted Dragons had been using as their staging grounds. No way… that’s the Pokémon Mew was fighting! That’s Mewtwo… a Legendary. What the heck? How did she get it? Was it hers all along?

But it didn’t exactly look the same as before. Instead, the beast now wore a mask made of metal, glittering with blue and white lights. It stood calm and careful and then, without hestitating, flicked its wrist. At once, all eleven of Ryan’s and Logan’s inhabited Poké Balls shot up from their bags, hovering in midair before the Mewtwo. Each Pokémon inside was forcefully pulled out.

“Mewtwo!” Jessica shouted bravely as the waves crashed against the shore. “Destroy them all! Earthquake!”

As she ordered this, the Mewtwo began to glow, his form changing somewhat, his arms and legs growing bulkier, his ears growing longer, his tail disappearing. A Mega Evolution… are you kidding me right now?

“Hacks!” Logan called.

Before anyone knew what was happening, the ground rumbled, and the eleven Pokémon standing in opposition to the crazed beast were attacked. This isn’t fair. If she gets to use a Legendary, I should get to use one too! Nevertheless, Jessica seemed unconcerned with being fair and so eight of their Pokémon–Chansey, Alakazam, Vulpix, Seel, Sylveon, Ditto, Squirtle, and Mareanie–were instantly knocked unconscious by the blow.

Those who remained were immune to Earthquake: Thurnax, Echo, and Shenlong.

“Thurnax, Dragon Dance!” Ryan shouted desperately, knowing his only hope of overcoming this terrible and deadly creature was with his most powerful Pokémon. Echo and Shenlong would stand no chance against it, but still they used Aerial Ace and Bite respectively, doing minimal damage to the Legendary Pokémon. Thurnax did a little dance, and that alone made her stronger somehow, but Ryan wasn’t about to question the logic of that in so desperate a situation.

As turn two came upon them, Ryan knew it was time to get down to business. “Alright, girl! Extreme Speed!”

And as he ordered her to do this attack (the other two performing the same attacks as in the last round), he pulled the vintage pocket watch from his pocket, fitting Thurnax’s Mega Stone into it, watching her change, her ears elongating, her wings becoming more puffy, her scales shimmering blue and white.

She hit the Mewtwo so hard that, even in its mask, he could tell it was shocked. It stumbled back after taking the blow, for a moment doing nothing but gawking at Thurnax, mightiest of dragons. And then it lunged forward, using Ice Punch to instantly silence her.

It was over then, almost as fast as this whole ordeal had started. Both Echo and Shenron lunged upon the Mewtwo, using their attacks, but they weren’t experienced enough, weren’t strong enough to damage it. A single volley of Rock Slide followed, and the boulders that materialized over the Scyther and the Gyarados were unkind to those two. Ryan’s and Logan’s courageous warriors fell with whimpers beneath splitting rocks.

The Kabuto were fleeing into the ocean, having witnessed the grim spectacle. Ryan and Logan returned their battered and beaten ‘mons, and now Jessica held the high ground over them.

“Froakie!” Katagiri cried, the innocent fool, leaping from Ryan’s shoulder, running at Mewtwo while spitting Bubbles. The harmless attacks popped against Mewtwo’s leg, and the beast looked down upon Katagiri like he was little more than driftwood. With a careless gesture, he summoned a Water Gun in his palm and fired it, nailing the Froakie in the face.

It’s okay buddy… you did the best you could. “Katagiri, Return!”

“Well, well, well… looks like I’ve beaten you,” she smiled, walking up to her slavish pet, spraying it in the face with a Full Heal and discarding the used canister into the sea. “Now then… do you two have any last words?”

“I can’t fast travel when there are enemies nearby!” Logan said bitterly. “I curse that useless feature!”

“Yo, Mewtwo, don’t you remember me?” Ryan asked the creature, trying a hail mary technique. “Yesterday… on that island… I wasn’t there to hurt you… you know that, don’t you? Don’t you remember me? Hey!”

Mewtwo remained stoic beneath his metal mask.

The purple-haired girl sniggered. “In that case, this is goodbye, Ryan.”

“Wait!” a voice rang out from behind them.

Jessica paused; the Mewtwo spun around.

Oh snap! Stepping off Tsunami, Alex adjusted his cap, returning his Gyarados to his ball. “You still have to get through me,” he spoke in an unimpressed tone. “And I’m not nearly as much of a pushover as those two.”

Episode 10: Magicians of the Gods

Minh had taken him in, his mother’s house being located in the town of Three Island, he remembered. He had been the first human Mewtwo had met who was not violent, afraid, desirous of power. Or so he thought.

On Three Island, he met with the native Clefable population. They fed him berries, taught him much and more of the stars and the world and of humans, and he was grateful for their presence. Well, I guess you got what you’re after, if you’re after a life on your knees, his mind shot back, plaguing him with doubt.

His own abilities allowed him to shapeshift, to change form, to take on the likeness of humans themselves after some practice in the Berry Forest, away from any onlookers. He knew how to take the form of the boy who had saved him most easily. There were others too he could take the form of, but to do so required immense concentration, and he could rarely hold it for more than a few minutes. That was okay. He didn’t like going out in public anyways. He didn’t like being around those black-eyed humans, their hands always twitching with indecision, looking upon him like he was something else.

The man the cigar stood before Mewtwo’s pod. Bubbles flowed ever upwards. Sucking and spitting, he paced. “Look here,” he commanded, and Mewtwo looked. In the man’s free hand, he held a single pebble, polished perfectly round, glowing faintly purple and otherwise milky white. “You will one day use this to become your true self. You cannot reach your limits of power without this. But you’re not ready yet.”

Floating before his dreams was the girl with the purple hair running up the beach, that same pebble clutched hard in her fingers. The Team Rocket logo was displayed so recklessly upon her chest. He felt, for a moment, like simply taking it from her. But more than that, he wanted to know what had happened to the rest, where they had gone, if they still held his brothers.

She offered him little insight.

–They don’t know what you are Kizen. They’re afraid… that’s all there is to it.

–Afraid of what?

–That you’re a monster.

Minh had not tried to hurt him, but those words stung even now, and such wary tendencies did not enamor him to humankind. For the first three weeks, he would not even leave the boy’s house. It took another month for them to go out fishing for Carvanha together.

He fed Kizen; he took care of him, unlike any human he had met before. There was never any sense that Minh wanted anything in return. His memories grew dark remembering that day in the Berry Forest.

–What’s that you’ve got with ya kid?

–None of your business.

–Looks like a Pokémon to us. Ain’t it, Roland? Ain’t? Come on, let’s how strong he is. Let’s fight!

Their bikes reeked from exhaust, vile plumes wafting poisonously up to the treetops. The older man, bearded, his hair just beginning to turn grey, his cheeks pock-marked, his eyes sunken and grey, threw one of those balls the humans used to imprison Pokémon. The slave that came out was one the Rocket scientists had made him fight against more than once.

–You’re the superior being, the scientist had told him upon knocking the long-nosed yellow beast unconscious. You have always been.

It felt like old times, these memories melting together. Nearly all of the words had faded away, leaving little more than echoes behind.

–Impossible!

His spit glistened in the air, his tethered beast falling before him. The man in the leather jacket let his cigarette drop from his lips to sizzle out in the undergrowth.

–Leave us alone!

Minh’s fortitude was strong at first, but it gave way faster than most.

They circled around him, cackling, rubbing their hands. He could have ended them, but the boy wouldn’t have wanted that. He told me never to hurt a human–begged me, even. I should not have listened. Their sour breath on his neck, he remembered the way their voices turned to honey. They were as treacherous as the scientists.

–Join us. The Coalition of Ordered Gangs could use someone with a Pokémon like that… trust us, kid. We’ll take care of ya and that beast. Come back to Kanto with us. Come on, come on. What do you say?

Noise followed. What was at first a meek attempt at staving them off soon turned to relenting, and Kizen knew he had lost his chance. I should have ended them. I should have never let it get that far.

–Well, Kizen, what do you think? The boy’s lip had been trembling. He looked perplexed, a little afraid, a little ashamed, but so bold and ready for a change of scenery. We could go with them… we could be bikers and–

It was like when the scientists had set him against that little purple gremlin who cowered behind its ruby-red gem. That had been his first ever loss, the first time he had realized he wasn’t invincible. There were words exchanged. The boy even tried to cry to convince him. His heart was rent asunder. He could have punished them all, but that wasn’t his way. People did not bring him joy. Power did not bring him joy. Nothing brought him joy. Everything was ash in his mouth, and he was alone again.

He never saw Minh after that day.

He had pulled himself out of the simple containment field they called Poké Balls not long afterwards. His memories swam before him, competing for intensity. The helmet had been unexpected. They had tried a dirty trick to capture him. He had not thought much of them. He wanted to know, more than anything, who they were, how they had gotten that stone, what had happened to the man with the cigar. And more than anything else… where were his brothers?

The hologram was all he saw when he closed his eyes. But he was not to be bound. Giving them the sense they had won allowed him the luxury of ambushing them at the least expected time. And yet, as soon as he had tried, still paralyzed, his speed suffocated, he should have known it would have been no use.

They made him kneel on the shore, and the girl proclaimed herself his master, the leader of Team Rocket, the most powerful Pokémon Master in the world. At that point alone had he tried to attack her. The helmet was too powerful, its cold feel numbing his thoughts, cooling his temper, preventing him from acting how he wished. When she commanded him to attack, he did. When she commanded him to return to the ball, he did. He had never wanted to, and yet…

“You still have to get through me,” said the boy, scowling at him with enough insolence to make Kizen’s blood boil. “And I’m not nearly as much of a pushover as those two.”

“Prove it,” the girl shrieked. “Mewtwo, defeat him!”

He was compelled, and so he moved. A thousand thoughts rushed through the space behind his eyes, endless battles against the Rocket Pokémon, the battles Minh and him had gone through, as brothers, not as master and slave, and yet the bitterness left in his mouth from remembering was enough to make him want to destroy the entire world, to cleanse it of the scourge that was humanity. He hated her; he hated him. They were nothing, and yet… and yet… Why could he not let go?

His foe sipped from a straw–lemonade, he could smell. Once he was done, discarding the used cup, he wiped his mouth and goaded Kizen to attack. A surge of energy warmed his fingertips. The boy threw three Poké Balls. Insolence. What an arrogant human.

He recognized the three of them as Excadrill, Gardevoir, and Tyranitar. They were nothing he couldn’t handle individually. He felt their power, and while it was much higher than any of the Pokémon he had thus far fought aside from the Dragonite and Alakazam, Kizen was confident nonetheless. They are not on my level.

“Janitor… use Earthquake! Selena, use Shadow Ball! Slammer, Crunch!”

The names he has given these creatures leave much to be desired. He already knew the move he would try. The scientists had taught him, should he ever be cornered by more than one strong opponent, to use Double Team. A sandstorm was started. Some people think that song is actually good. Some even think it’s mediocre. Arceus rest all their souls.

The Excadrill, that mole-looking schlemiel, was somehow faster than him amidst the storm. It irked him and hurt him, and the Earthquake somehow damaged him and him alone, and though it rumbled through the entire island, nearly toppling Tectonix’s memorial, not even one of the humans was hurt by this. Such a fact was not only unbelievable, but rather stupid. Yet that was the price of following game physics to the bitter end.

It hurt a bit, but not a lot, and his Double Team came up before the other two could move, thankfully. The holographic projections of his body split and encircled the three foes. Jackie Chun would have been proud. He was well-practiced with this technique, so his afterimages were more numerous than most. There were at least seven other Kizens out there.

Then came Gardevoir’s and Tyranitar’s attacks. One might say that since Kizen dodged them, he was lucky. Not so. As both attacks missed, sailing through holographic projections of his body, the real Mewtwo shooting into the sky above them, he couldn’t help but laugh. The scientists at Rocket had told him he was a Legendary Pokémon, that few, if any, could match his raw power. That one–that one he had met above his island of solitude–had been able to. He still didn’t know exactly what that creature was, though it had felt almost like one of his brothers with the energy it exuded.

None of this boy’s Pokémon were anything close.

The sandstorm cut at his face, even with all the afterimages. The next turn, everyone did the same thing, including Mewtwo. He would gain even more speed, even more of a shielding from another Double Team, so his move was much more to his benefit than theirs were. Even the Excadrill’s Earthquake, occurring before he could move (its speed in the sandstorm being heightened to a ridiculous degree), did not touch him as he flew overhead, his afterimages spreading like flowers abloom, doubling and then tripling in number.

It was no surprise the Gardevoir and Tyranitar’s attacks missed again. Some would call that hax. But to Kizen, that was entirely his strategy. The ground rumbled for a third time, and this time, caught in his arrogance, the Mewtwo was hit by it savagely, forcing him into the air with a cry as he attempted a third Double Team.

By now, the island was filled with fake Mewtwo projections, and it was not entirely unreasonable to think that both Gardevoir and Tyranitar missed their attacks for a third straight turn. He soared through the air, damaged by the sandstorm, by the Earthquakes, but still going.

It’s time I end this, he thought to himself.

At the start of the fourth round, everyone attempted the same attacks. Mewtwo, however, changed up his strategy. He himself used an Earthquake. Just after the Excadrill’s attack missed, he descended to the ground, cloaked in afterimages, and release a real Earthquake–something even that ground mole would appreciate.

The ground shook severely. Miraculously, not a single human was hurt. All three of his foe’s Pokémon took the attack fully, struggled, and fell. They were, the three of them, returned to their master unconscious. That’s just the beginning, he thought. You have no idea who you’re up against, child.

He wasn’t done yet, however. Three more balls sailed through the air, releasing a Gyarados, an Aerodactyl, and a Typhlosion. Now it was time to lay it all out on the line. You have to have some big onions for spots like these. If you aren’t clutch, what good are you?

Mewtwo’s thoughts were overwhelmed by this reality. He already knew how he would assault them.

The boy was yet undeterred. “Radon, Tailwind! Perdition, Protect! Tsunami, use Waterfall now!”

They were all moving, but he was faster. A bit of concentration and a flick of the wrist, his arm glowing purple, was all it took. The boulders crashed down upon them, hitting the Aerodactyl and Gyarados hard, while the Typhlosion, who transformed before Kizen’s eyes, used Protect to survive a turn. As the Typhlosion transformed, his flames flared up stronger and longer, and a sand-cape grew out from his neck. The sandstorm stopped, and the sunlight became piercing and intense.

Then his opponents’ attacks went through–or rather, the Gyarados’ did. The Aerodactyl merely flapped its wings and a big wind began to gust, and thus the two of them became faster than the beleaguered, wounded Mewtwo. But his holograms were too numerous, his opponents too confused. Waterfall barreled through perhaps half a dozen fake Mewtwos, and by the time the water, overflowing the island up to the tip of the shrine to Tectonix and back down again, more than that many of his holograms yet remained.

“Rock Slide, Radon! Tsunami, same thing as last time! Perdition, use Eruption!”

They were all faster than him now except for Gyarados, but their attacks were swallowed whole by his Double Team projections. A Rock Slide and an Eruption smashed through the fake Mewtwo, destroying most of his image projections in the process, but leaving the real Mewtwo unscathed.

Now it was his turn. The boulders materialized above their heads and shot down with severity and precision. The Typhlosion, though it had assumed its new, masterful form, was hit in the face with a boulder, immediately falling over with a muffled cry. It was already defeated. Too easy.

The Gyarados took another round of Rock Slide to the body hard, while the boulders that materialized over Aerodactyl missed, just barely. A bit of luck for you, eh? But not enough. Then, Gyarados, the slowest guy on the block, tried another Waterfall, but it missed, poor guy.

They were not Legendary as he was. Again, the rocks appeared overhead, the water churned up from under Gyarados’ belly, and yet Mewtwo was calm. He closed his eyes, focusing on his foes’ life energy. Their weakening states drew him to them like a Venomoth to a Lanturn. Aerodactyl’s Rock Slide missed entirely, ravaging the west bank of the small island, destroying more of his holograms. It didn’t matter. He cut through the air, boulders of his own coming into being above their heads. Gyarados’ next Waterfall worked no better.

The first set slammed like an errant train into Aerodactyl’s back. The bird screeched in pain and fell and was done. The next batch flew down towards Gyarados, who was riding a wave towards Mewtwo’s position. His afterimages got in the way and as Waterfall was preparing to crash against them, the mighty sea serpent looked up and noticed him hovering in the sky. It roared in surprise and was met with a face full of rocks.

So too did it fall, and so too was it returned.

Silence, save for the squelching of Kabuto scurrying out to sea, the sizzling of craters, the sound of boulders collapsing and falling into the waves. His body ached, and his stamina was nearly spent. Mewtwo wanted nothing more than to break free, to take that pebble, to quell the Rocket girl, to go home.

He descended quietly to the beach.

“Good boy, Mewtwo!” the girl yelled triumphantly. “You got ‘em good! Now they can’t stand in our way!”

“That was only luck!” the recently-defeated boy retorted. “If any of my moves had hit…”

“But they didn’t, did they? So stop whining!” she said with glee. “My Mewtwo is the strongest Pokémon in the world!”

My Mewtwo. His eyes flickered with heat. He felt a rising tension in his chest as the waves broke against the shore. The three boys stood gawking at him, as if they had no idea how he had done what he had done, who he was, or why he had done it.

Truth be told, he knew only that hate and pain had driven him to this position, that the fear of betrayal, the fear of not being powerful, had made him try and fail a gambit perhaps too clever for him to have attempted in the first place. And now here they were.

“End them, Mewtwo! Do whatever you want!”

“Hey, that’s not fair! I call hacks! I call a timeout, yo! Mewtwo, what the heck?! What have we ever done to you…? Why don’t you stop this?!” the teal-haired boy pled.

He reminded Mewtwo somewhat of Minh. He had that same devious, adventurous look in his eyes, and it suffocated the happiness from Kizen’s blood. He raised a purple-energy-covered hand, aiming it at the trio of defeated trainers. They’re only human, he thought. Weak, ugly creatures.

Mewtwo’s helmet shattered, and he tasted something metallic. His ears were ringing; his vision was spinning; he fell to his knees.

They all gasped, unable to form coherent thoughts in their usual speech. He looked up, feeling the helmet fall of his face, feeling the waves against his ankles, feeling the cool island air on his cheeks.

Its soft blue fur blew with the wind. As it hovered, its tail flicking this way and that, the Pokémon he had fought once before was standing between him and the boys, its face curious, but sad, a pink bubble wrapped around its body extending to the boys, protecting them utterly.

–You’re back… But why? What do you want with me?

As always, the other–perhaps his brother–merely giggled and swam through the air around him, its own energy glowing robustly pink in the day’s light. His mind felt as empty as his throat, as empty as the husk that was his body. And yet, something primitive and evil and base was compelling him forward. He was too weak to resist, considering all that had happened to him.

–Kizen, won’t you come with us? Minh had asked one last time.

–Why won’t you come with me? he had replied, hovering above Berry Forest, his tail jostling through the air impatiently. Why must it always be me who has to change?

They left him there. But they were only human, so he should have expected no less.


They were royally screwed, and not in the ‘muh silver prince’ kind of way, not that there’s anything wrong with that. Mewtwo had just done to Alex what randoms did to Ryan on Grifball nearly every night despite being of vastly inferior quality (it’s a really nice feeling have AFKers or people who’ve never swung a hammer before in their lives as teammates, thanks Franky), and that’s why he doesn’t play Halo 5 anymore because if the teams can’t be balanced, then why am I wasting my Darkraiing time?!

Needless to say, the luck Mewtwo had just gone through, dodging like fifteen attacks in a row, was sickening. It was disgusting. It should be a wake-up call to the people who work at Nintendo, of which I’ve heard there are several. There’s luck and then there’s Pokéluck, the latter of which ensures that a 90% move will hit 60% of the time, that an 85% accurate move will hit maybe 45% of the time, and don’t even get me started on crits.

Life isn’t fair and games (or in this case, a living, waking, horrible reality) based on luck aren’t competitive. Just like Gordon Ramsey looks a bit like a Snubbull, so too was there something rotten on the Memorial Pillar Island, and it was responsible for Alex’s first professional loss in this equally professional story.

We’re cooked now. Serve us up, Logan, we’re fried, Ryan lamented. As anyone who has read half a chapter of this story knows, Ryan has a lot of useful thoughts like that one.

Jessica smirked an evil smirk. “End them, Mewtwo! Do whatever you want!”

“Hey, that’s not fair! I call hacks! I call a timeout, yo! Mewtwo, what the heck?! What have we ever done to you…? Why don’t you stop this?!” Ryan asked, his voice quivering. “Mewtwo… please…”

The light overwhelmed them for a moment as a beam shot down from the sky, illuminating the Memorial Pillar island in its entirety. Mewtwo staggered back, dropping to a knee, holding his throat as his artificially-lit helmet cracked and fell off.

No way! And there again was Mew.

Descending just in front of them, the blue-furred Legendary Pokémon remained hovering, its pink shield wrapped around not only itself, but the three of them as well. Jessica had gone white. Mewtwo was still huffing and puffing on his knee. A light ensconced him, and he was thrust into the air where he hovered for a few seconds. And when he landed again, all of his visible scratches, bruises, and other signs of battle damage were gone.

Mew… what the heck? Why’d you heal him?

“Y-you…! Mewtwo, capture that insolent blue Mew right this second!” Jessica sputtered, pointing at Mew with a hateful look. “Capture it alive and unspoiled!”

Mewtwo’s look suddenly changed. He became more focused, less curious, more detached, less unsure.

“Hey… this is the Mew that you found in Lavender Town, isn’t it Ryan?” Alex muttered.

“Yeah… and I saw it fight Mewtwo too… on that island the Painted Dragons took me to.”

Logan asked, “Is Mew strong enough to win?”

“He’s gotta be, or we’re toast.”

“Man, I’d rather be the butter!”

The two faced one another, Mew as their shield, their last hope against Jessica’s wild tempest. Mewtwo split into multiple forms again, as he had against Alex’s ‘mons. Mew, without wasting a heartbeat, did the same. And thus it was not one versus one, but eight versus eight, and not even Ryan could tell which was the real Mew any longer.

“Get ‘em, Mew! Don’t back down! I know you can do it!” he shouted cheerfully.

That was when Mewtwo transformed again. Oh snap. Mew’s not gonna be able to take on Mega Mewtwo… not after what I saw before…

But luckily Ryan still had that stone in his pocket, burning hot as a fork left in the microwave accidentally. He pulled it out along with the pocket watch Lance had given him. He didn’t actually know if this stone would make Mew Mega Evolve, but if it didn’t, I just wasted thousands of words and several chapters of foreshadowing with no payoff, so there’s always that to consider.

Regardless, as Ryan put the stone into the holder in the face of the watch, Mew began to radiate with light. It sang out beautifully, “Meeeeeeeeew, meeeeew, meeeew!” in long, slow meows as its form twisted and elongated and shifted into something not entirely familiar, but not entirely unfamiliar either.

“N-no… what the heck?! You’re cheating!” Jessica screamed, spittle flying from her mouth. She looked as crazed as Pagan Kim had that day in the bush. “That’s some deus ex machina if I’ve ever seen it!”

“No way! You’re one to talk, Jess!” Ryan snapped. “You made that Mewtwo Mega Evolve out of nowhere! That’s real hacks! That’s not fair at all! I’ve had this stone for like five chapters! It’s not even comparable!”

“Y-you… maggot! Mewtwo, destroy them all! End this thing now!”

The two Legendary Pokémon looked upon one another with curious respect. Mew’s form had elongated, giving it a slightly more bulky tail, like Mewtwo’s had been (before his own transformation), the ends of its hands and feet and tail all turning a deeper shade of blue.

Ryan’s heart burned with passion; his vision was swimming. Here again was his old friend come to save him, come to show him that it remembered, that it cared, that they held an unbreakable bond, even beyond the shores of Kanto. The fear had already melted away. If Mew didn’t win, so be it. They’d done all they could. There was no reason to be afraid any more. We’re going to win, he thought fiercely. We can’t lose now!

“Mew!” Ryan shouted, holding the watch up. “You can do it, buddy! I believe in you!”

It was really cliché and really beautiful and stuff. There was, to Ryan’s eyes, no longer any black and white in the blue.

Each of them crafted a Shadow Ball in their hands, Mew flying above Mewtwo as they threw their attacks. Eight Mewtwo and eight Mews shot their attacks all at once, each hologram acting out against another. Explosion after explosion went off, and in each case, Mew moved first. Ryan breathed a sigh of relief as, when the dust and smoke cleared, only one of each Pokémon remained. Mew was hovering above Mewtwo. Each was damaged significantly, but neither was done yet.

They fired another round of Shadow Balls upon one another. Each Pokémon clutchly evaded the attacks, Mewtwo landing on the shore, Mew making its way higher into the sky. There was a moment’s pause. Jessica shrieked something to her Mewtwo, but he would not respond. He was already moving, tearing his way through the air like a dancer.

Now came Mew again, descending from the sky, building speed, a pink beam of energy in its hands.

“That’s not a Shadow Ball…”

“Wow. That’s disrespect,” Alex whispered to them. “It’s going to use Psychic. It’s not going to be very effective against Mewtwo… but I think Mew knows it’ll do the job anyways. That Pokémon is unbelievably powerful. I haven’t seen anything like it since Dialga…”

Mewtwo likewise was trying a different attack. He growled loudly, jumping into the sky at Mew, building speed of his own as his entire body began to spin rapidly like a saw blade. It would have looked a lot better in Ryan’s opinion had Mewtwo kept his tail during this transformation.

As the two approached one another, Mew’s attack grew larger and brighter and flew from its fingertips before Mewtwo had reached it. Mew’s much faster… it’s not even close. The Psychic washed over Mewtwo’s body, even as he tried with all of his strength and courage to reach Mew. The attack pushed him back. He tried to fight it, tried to break from the energy, to forget the pain.

But that simply wasn’t possible. Mewtwo let out a grunt of pain and fell like a lifeless corpse from the sky, impacting hard against the ground. Jessica screamed at the sky, falling to her knees, in the manner immature men and women do when their Supreme Leader doesn’t win the election. Ryan smiled broadly. Logan punched the sky, whooping like a young child. Alex folded his arms and nodded once up at Mew.

“Great job, buddy! You did it!”

Mew landed before them, cocking its head as it stared at Ryan. It giggled and with its psychic powers pulled his watch from his grip until it floated before him. The golden pocket watched floated between them, opening slowly. Then, the tiny pinkish pebble was pulled out, and Mew reverted to its base form. It studied the stone for a few moments, floating around it playfully, moving in an infinity pattern.

The watch and stone were returned to Ryan. He was, for a moment, surprised that Mew had not taken the Mega Stone with it. Mew wants me to keep it… We will meet again. I just know it.

Then Mew turned to Mewtwo, who lay unconscious in a crater on the beach. Again, pink energy surrounding its body, it used its psychic powers to force Mewtwo to rise into the air. Again, the New Species Pokémon healed the Genetic Pokémon of its wounds entirely.

“Mewtwo… attack! Hit that stupid floating creature into the dirt! I want to catch it… you have t–”

It was purple energy, not pink, that surrounded Jessica and froze her. Mew and Mewtwo stared upon one another, exchanging silent words, perhaps speaking to each other psychically. Ryan could hardly understand Alakazam’s speech, so he knew he had no way of suddenly becoming psychic and listening in on what these two were saying. Not that it really mattered. Mewtwo’s face had softened now that he too had reverted to his base form. Mew swam around him through the air, playfully giggling again, and Mewtwo did not attack.

That alone was telling, and Ryan thought he knew what it meant.

Without warning, the two of them took to the skies, their auras surrounding them, and Ryan thought, as he watched the two speed off, that perhaps they were racing, and perhaps Mewtwo was winning.


The day was growing late. “Leave me alone!” Jessica pouted, her face in her hands. “Just go away, you creeps!”

“Now, now,” Ryan replied, “That’s no way to talk to anybody. I’m the Indigo League Champion, dontcha remember?”

“Shut up! I don’t care!”

Ryan gave the other two a look, and Alex quickly understood what it meant, thankfully (Logan had no hope of deciphering obvious facial cues). The Chinese boy pulled out a Max Revive, released Tsunami, revived his vicious Gyarados, and the two of them jumped on its back, sailing off back to their hotel.

Jessica didn’t say a word until they had left. She’s still raw from the loss. I better go easy on her. “Look…” Ryan began. “I get it, okay? You wanna be the very best evil girl there ever was, like no one was before.”

Her cheeks were pinkening. “Sh-shut up…”

“Hey! I think we were very nice to you… it wouldn’t have been the same if you had won. You would have thrown us into the sea! We didn’t even throw sand in your hair!”

She stood up, looking away from him. “Whatever.”

“We only attacked you because you hurt that Mew… and we were only trying to defend ourselves here today… we weren’t looking for a fight, Jess…”

“I don’t care. That means nothing to me.”

“You can’t go around being evil and expect everyone to sit back and let it happen, yo. Maybe that should be a clue to you. I don’t know. I don’t think you’re really evil… you just are following in your parents’ footsteps.”

“It’s not like that!” she shouted, choking up. “It’s… it’s just… I’m trying to, to, to, you know, whatever. I-I-I’m just trying to make my parents… ugh!”

Embarrassed, she stepped away from him, wiping her eyes.

“Yo it’s cool,” Ryan replied. “I tried to make my dad proud by winning the Indigo League… that had always been his dream. I thought he’d love me more if I did. But it didn’t matter. It didn’t change anything. And you know, I’m sure you know that too… that becoming a more evil gang boss or whatever won’t make your parents any more proud of you than they already are.”

She whistled into the wind. “Maybe.”

“Well, anyways… I guess, I’ll see you in Kanto, okay? Don’t be evil when we meet again, or Imma have to make it three times in a row!”

“Hmph, whatever.”

“Gengar versus Alakazam, alright? What do you say? I challenge you, Jessica!”

Her back still turned to him, the girl replied, “You don’t have a chance to win, kid. No matter how much time you spend training that spoon boy, it won’t matter. Gengar doesn’t lose to anyone.”

And with that, she pulled out a Poké Ball, releasing her glorious Skarmory, its silver body reflecting the dying light of the sun, which was beginning to sink below the horizon. Without pausing, she jumped on its back, muttered something in its ear, and together, the two of them flew off in the opposite direction from where Mew and Mewtwo had gone.

The wind was picking up, and it was getting cold. I’m hungry and tired and ready to sleep, Ryan thought to himself. It’s been a really long day. The faint sounds of Skarmory faded in the distance, and Ryan knew, at last, that he would be able to relax and take a bit of a vacation.

It had only taken ten chapters for everything to get to that point, alas.

Episode 11: Legendaries Are So Cheap

Chunk was a great guy, a wonderful guy, a beautiful guy, and he looked like a Hippowdon.

“Hide yo’ burgers, hide your donuts!” a fuzzy-haired man screamed, running past them.

“Hey now, that’s not funny,” Chunk complained, walking down the middle of the street like he owned the place. “That’s offensive. You’re a Pokémonist. Look at that Pokémonist. Shame! Shame! Hahaha!”

He grabbed a fried chicken leg from his pocket and started grazing as he continued walking. “Dang that Alex Meme Machine guy. I’ll tell you what, he’s a dangerous dude. Ana went to do an interview with him and she never came back, ahuh? See, that’s what you get with Meme Factories.”

Rahul was walking down the road too, and he was grazing too, although what he was eating depends on what Rahul deems to be the greatest of foods, and we’ll assume that’s some kind of curry for obvious reasons. Now, Rahul didn’t have a thought in his head aside from the fact that he wanted to watch robots wrestle and explosions and when was second breakfast? What about elevensies? Afternoon sup? Mid-afternoon feast? Pre-supper feastsies?

It was a disturbing thought. In the day or so he had been following Chunk around, they had only had a few extra meals out of the usual ones, and that just wasn’t good enough. Rahul then had his first and perhaps only thought of the day: I’m the Doctor. Basically… run.

That was badass and badassery comforted Rahul almost as good as a cheap tank top. Speaking of which, the two of them stepped off into a shop on the side of the road selling such tees. Chunk wanted to buy three, but they didn’t have any in his size, so he bought one of those hats with the pinwheels on it, which seemed about right.

“Right, right, right. Small wave hotdog. That’s all you are,” Chunk complained after being forced to pay ten Poké Dollars for a Poké Slushie. “Alright, we have Professor Oak on the line now, welcome. Haha, it’s good to have you on, finally, professor. I’ve been wanting to get you on our program for a while.”

Rahul was still grazing, so he didn’t mind. Chunk had his phone held up to his face, conducting a video interview with Professor Oak, whoever the heck that was.

The old man looked pretty old to Rahul. He wondered if a fifty foot robot could roundhouse kick a forty-five foot sea monster, or if said sea monster could absorb the blow no problem. It was a quandary to be sure.

“Ah, good day haha,” Oak laughed awkwardly. “I was just making some hot and spicy ramen with Farfetch’d egg yolks, yum!”

“Uhhhhh, okay.” Chunk adjusted his tank top (which he had stolen from Rahul not three seconds prior) and glanced at Rahul, rolling his eyes. “Anyways… so, Gramps, why on Arceus’ green earth did you decide to create the Pokédex? Of all the–and I mean this with no ill will, thank you for being on the program and I love you–but come on man… Hah, I mean seriously. Do you expect anyone to believe the trivia those machines spout out like they’re real facts?”

“Oh, yes, those!” Professor Oak laughed with a little bit of glee, but he was so old it was hard to tell exactly. He barely even looked like a man at this age, it was terrible. “I spent many years in my youth going around the world, taking careful research on the behavioral habits of each Pokémon I could find…”

“Fascinating,” Chunk said, adjusting himself noisily. “But, and I mean this literally, why on Arceus’ green earth do you think you’re the authority on these Pokémon? Some would say, and, haha, I’ve heard this from my friends and family no less, that you’re a closet Pokémonist. Thoughts, Professor? Please, go ahead. Let’s have a reasonable discussion.”

“I, well, that makes no sense to me!” the old man replied, chortling. “First and foremost, I am a Pokémon researcher… my goal is to study and understand all Pokémon, and to b–”

“I-I-I-I… look, I’m sorry, but I’m going to have to cut you off there, okay?” Chunk looked around, though nobody but Rahul was watching him. He grinned like a rockstar. “Look, what you’re saying is just nonsense, okay? Like, I don’t want to insult our audience here… but what you’re saying is so offensive, so Pokémonist… I’m struggling to, look, okay, no old white professor needs to tell us what a Pokémon does, and they’ll say… no! Okay, gruh, just no!” he said, waving his hands about. “I mean, come on, you’re supposed to be a Pokémon researcher for crying out loud!”

That beautiful speech brought a tear to Rahul’s eye.

“Well, um, my ramen’s done, so I think I’ll just…”

“Look, we’re just having some real talk here. If you can’t handle it, well…”

“Why are you yelling at me, sir?”

“Get off the phone! We’re just trying to have a reasonable discussion here!” Chunk was sweating like a Tepig. Rahul stepped in, wiping the good man’s brow with his recently-purchased tank top. “Aheh. Heh. Heheh,” Chunk grunted, looking this way and that. Rahul gave him a high-five, and they both felt real good about that. “Look… we’re just trying to conduct a reasonable interview here. You need to–”

A loud, shrill bell sounded. “Well, that’s the sound of my ramen finishing its slow cook!” the decrepit old man replied. “Now then, I better be going now, bye bye.”

“And that, folks, that’s what happens when someone who is too scared to debate the issues has nothing legitimate to say to defend their position… you saw it just as I did. Stunning, quite frankly. We were trying to discuss the issues… we were trying to have a reasonable discussion!!”

Rahul clapped politely. A passing passerby didn’t, which was offensive.

“Alright, look, Raúl, we’re going to stage a walkout protest on Navel Rock. Be there in an hour, okay? We’re going to have a reasonable discussion.”

“Where’s that?” Rahul asked.

“I don’t know, gruh, here,” Chunk grunted, pulling out a folded-up piece of paper and throwing it at Rahul, who caught it. “Look, I need to get my daily fill of bacon grease, so I’ll meet you there. Got it?”

“Yeah… okay.”

Chunk walked off down the road of One Island, towards the nearest Pokémon Center, and all Rahul felt in his stomach of stomachs was that he too wanted a little bacon grease. But maybe, since he wasn’t a noted radical anti-Pokémonist activist yet, it wasn’t his allowance to get bacon grease yet. One day he would get some, he knew, and he was already dreaming of that day, his mouth watering, his belly rumbling, and nothing else in the entire world mattered to him as much as getting some delicious and nourishing bacon grease, and all I’m trying to say is that Rahul really likes bacon grease just like we all do, and if you find that weird or offensive, you’re a disgusting Pokémonist troll.


Once upon a time, Rahul went to Navel Rock because the plot demanded it. He got there by unspecified, but totally legal means, promise.

There were two men waiting for him at the dock, but apparently nobody else was on the island at all. There wasn’t even any signs of Ana the Slowpoke, much to Rahul’s disappointment. She was such an intellectual Slowpoke too. She never let her emotions dominate her, she never was a hypocrite, she never made fun of Alex Jones’ weight and then proceeded to whine about the Pokémonist culture of fat-shaming, she never made an illogical, hysterical argument not even once, and she was one of the leading anti-Pokémonist women in the field for good reason, of course. She was a good screamer.

Naturally, the two men were extremely weird. There isn’t a normal person in all the Pokémon World.

One wore a Tyranitar costume and was walking around growling indiscriminately at his shadow and so forth. The other man was sitting on a pole, monologuing like Mussolini from the balcony. “It was, I want to say, the University of Smogo, in the Atrium Department, or, what was it called, the, the, the…”

Rahul waited for a long time for Chunk to show up, but he never did. He must have gotten sleepy from eating all the bacon grease and he would surely be there any moment. Rahul thought a lot about robots fighting monsters, about grandiose, exceptional explosions, about all the legit video games he was going to make, about all stuff he was going to do, not only with his life, but in this chapter to properly fill up the word count. He thought he was an excellent game designer. If there was a person who would be just right as the lead story writer, that would be Rahul. He was creative and smart and witty and funny, not to mention experienced and nuanced in his understanding of storytelling, not only in regards to creating video games, which he of course wanted to do very badly, but in creating a poetic and archetypal personality for himself.

In short, Rahul was like Doctor Who mixed with Sherlock mixed with Ultra Instinct Jiren mixed with Master Chief mixed with every Linkin Park song ever. Tell that to the Covenant, he thought with grim satisfaction. It didn’t matter that he was OP, that he’d be banned from Ubers, that he was only 16 but had the goatee of a well-off Silicon Valley businessman. He was Rahul, Destroyer of Worlds, Rahul, the Great, Rahul, the next Poké Bill Gates, Rahul, the Great One in the Sky, Rahul, the Voice of the Void.

If this wasn’t real life (and if you don’t think it is, you aren’t paying attention), Rahul would have rushed into battle countless times, throwing an inordinate amount of Poké Balls until one caught something. He would fight every single person ever and lose about 56% of the time, and his KD would therefore not be ideal. But he’s too impatient to wait for anything except respawns because he has to.

“Airplanes give you arthritis. Nobody ride an airplane!” the guy on the pole was cautioning loudly, swinging his legs. “I read a study published in the HAES Academy of Flat Earth Sciences that stated Snorlax are naturally bigger than Eevee only because of cultural appropriation of Pokémon food for the big-boned fellas. Watch what you feed your Snorlaxes! Snorlax food is Pokémonist. They really should be the size of an Eevee, if not smaller. I once dated a woman whose name was Dianne, and that was back when I was in college, and let me tell you this, buddy, never think for a second that anything you say isn’t being recorded, because it is! Everything you’ve ever said, they have that stored away somewhere in a vault, guaranteed. You think all these elites and business tycoons and bankers aren’t flying around on airplanes knowing they’re invincible? That’s naïve! We won’t put up with that, I tell ya! You wanna know why? The answer is test tube babies. I saw this guy, Dr. deGrasse, explain that even if our intelligence agencies know for a fact that we don’t possess that level of technology, that no other country possesses that level of technology, the UFOs captured by those F-16 legacy models can’t be aliens, because aliens and UFOs are not synonymous. Am I missing something? Anybody? Hey? Where’s the gap in my logic? Come on, I’m waiting!”

Some more time passed (approximately 512 steps) and the man packed up his cardboard sign, which he had been raising over his head that read, ‘Mr. Mimes are people too, even the girl Mr. Mimes’, jumped off the pole, and ran into the docking station, never to be seen again. The mute in the Tyranitar costume eventually jumped off the island’s edge into the water and was never heard from again either. It was real sad.

Now that Rahul was alone, a Lugia appeared on the island for convenience’s sake. It was a young Lugia, but it was a proper one too, with not a single EV to its name, perfect IVs, and a bold nature so that it would remain competitively viable for at least one more generation. Though it was not fully grown, it was unafraid, and as soon as it noticed Rahul, it shot down towards him, landing in front of him, as if goading the big man to dare to try to catch it.

“Okay… so we’re doing this now, are we?” Rahul asked. He was a great game designer, just the best.

“Luuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuah!”

“Alright then. Galvantula, let’s go!”

In the time since Rahul had joined the Cult of Chunk, he had likewise switched out his Kanto Team with his preferred general team of Pokémon, which were all much stronger than his Kanto Pokémon, showing that Rahul was actually a very good trainer. It wasn’t like when he played Pokéfight with Ryan and used up all their lives rushing in and getting himself killed over and over again and then proceeding to get spawn-camped by any number of enemies, being unable to overcome even modest adversity on the battlefield. His inability to adapt or use his brain to think out how to tackle opponents with strategy or cleverness was of course not a character flaw, as 95% of the population is just like that.

“Thunder Wave, Galvantula!”

His yellow furry spider ‘mon was quick to obey her master, and Lugia was paralyzed. Still, Lugia was bold, so it was not going to give up so easily. Now, at this point, one might ask why Rahul was even fighting this Lugia, why it had appeared, and why this battle was going on at all. It all seems rather convenient, rather nakedly like a plot being carried along its tracks artificially as Ryan getting a baby mama. Well, all of that is true. Robots and monsters and big explosions, etc., and all that are fun and you shouldn’t think much about this chapter. Just enjoy the blockbuster production value and Michael Bay inspired choreography and plotting, which has so far been one long rant, empty as soda calories, but entirely satisfying and wonderful nonetheless (at least in Rahul’s opinion, and his opinion means a lot).

There was electricity and crap and it was cool and Lugia was paralyzed. It was an epic turn of events. Lugia then released a beam of blue energy from its mouth like Don Vito after taking 52 shots of Doug Prishpreed’s Pruneberry Peachboy Juice. Aeroblast was an excellent move, but it was unable to KO Galvantula in one hit because Rahul was an awesome trainer, and everyone would be impressed by his ability to get a common spider to the same level as a Legendary Pokémon perhaps two or three people in all of history have ever tamed.

Next turn, Lugia started a countdown timer, as Rahul was thinking about how to make an epic explosion-filled fight scene without any character development. That really got Rahul mad, and it is a terrible thing to see Rahul angry. He kind of grunted and patted his belly and stroked his goatee and ordered Galvantula to use Thunder.

Boom shakalaka boom. Even though the move is called Thunder, a lightning bolt descended from the sky, hitting Lugia in the wing, and that did quite a bit of damage. Rahul was ready to do something epic, so he pulled out an Ultra Ball, but then Lugia shot another Aeroblast at his spider and the spider wasn’t conscious anymore.

Rahul sighed. “Okay, okay… I see how it is. Just wait. Hang on, I’m going to catch you. I’ve got an idea.”

To say Rahul had an idea is being slightly generous, but it’s fair play nonetheless. Anyways, Rahul returned his Galvantula, whom he had not given a nickname to, and sent out Aegislash next.

“False Swipe, Excalibur!” he screamed, knowing full well how beneficial this attack would be on a wild Pokémon, for once you knock out a wild Pokémon, that’s it. It’s game over man. It’s not like you can just reset the DS and try again. This was real life. This was for all the marbles.

Even though Lugia was flying, it landed politely so Aegislash could whack it so the move wouldn’t miss. You have to make sure each Pokémon gets to go one after another. To even attempt to try anything different is heretical. It’s blasphemous to think that in real life, turns aren’t a thing, levels aren’t a thing, being able to learn only four moves isn’t a thing. Game mechanics are more realistic than real life, and if you even dare to question that, you’re just a troll. But if you say that every single punch Goku ever tried after Buu was like a nuclear explosion, that’s reasonable. Even if there’s no proof, even if the actual series directly contradicts such inane notions, it’s gotta be real because the universe has to follow real physics except when it doesn’t. Doublespeak and hypocrisy aren’t the same thing, but in this case, they are sufficiently interchangeable.

Rahul wasn’t one to laugh very much. His life was very serious. He was going to grow up to be a game designer.

Lugia, meanwhile, was brought down to 1 HP, an unquantifiable distinction in reality, but to even mention that would trigger some dishmasters, and we wouldn’t want anyone to not be able to do the dishes for their family. Regardless, Lugia replied with another Aeroblast because it was a spammer just like Xiao Bao, second worst of all the brothers who dare to say that Dragonite isn’t a beautiful ‘mon.

Rahul could do simple math allegedly, so even he knew that now that Lugia was at 1 HP, it was ready to be captured. He threw an Ultra Ball at it, sucking it inside. The ball wiggled a bit, and Lugia broke free. That was 600 Poké Dollars gone to waste right there. Another Aeroblast hit Aegislash, but luckily for the Royal Sword Pokémon, each one only did like 17% damage.

Rahul threw another Ultra Ball. It wiggled a bit, giving him some hope, and then Lugia broke free. “Oh no, so close! Dang it!” He shook his fist at the sky, cursing the mechanics of this universe he was cruelly forced to live in. There was significant repetition (and not even a single pawn advance) as he threw Ultra Ball after Ultra Ball at Lugia, while the Diving Pokémon simply broke free of its snare every time. This cost Rahul a lot of money, which won’t have any tangible effect on this story, for eventually he caught Lugia, and by that point, it was more relief than an epic moment, but that’s how it always is when you try to catch a Legendary ‘mon, especially if you’re IV and nature hunting.

Luckily for Rahul, there simply isn’t the word count available for him to have gone through such trials and tribulation, though it would have been better if he could have suffered a bit, as he doesn’t seem to understand consequence very well. When you die, you feed your opponents points. You aren’t just waiting to respawn; you are directly giving the opponent what they want. It makes it hard for better players, such as Ryan or Charlie, to perform well enough to compensate. It puts a lot of pressure on them that Rahul neither appreciates nor is aware of. Life isn’t just skipping through a field of flowers. Sometimes you have to know when to not run down that corridor and get sniped in the face or get grenade trapped. You would think after thousands, if not tens of thousands, of experienced examples of said events, Rahul would have been able to evolve his game a bit, but alas, that’s wishful thinking.

So anyways, Rahul caught a Legendary Pokémon, and it was really cool. Chunk never showed up. He was probably taking a dirt nap in the gutter somewhere, his face plastered with bacon grease, muttering to himself about how he only wanted to have a reasonable, civil conversation, but I digress.


It was the fourth day of their vacation to the Sevii Islands, and already Rahul had returned to Resort Gorgeous.

Ryan and Logan and Alex and Jessica and Jessica’s various parents were nowhere to be seen inside the hotel room, but Rahul did manage to find Sebastian lurking in the corridors, brushing his fine mustache while he thought nobody was watching him.

“Oh, there you are,” said Rahul. “I’ve returned.”

“Congratulations, Master Rahul,” the man said stingily, quickly pocketing his golden brush. “I missed you greatly, as did your companions, no doubt.”

“I found a Pokémon you’ll want to see,” Rahul grinned. “Let’s go down the to beach, okay?”

“Very well, sir.”

So down to the beach they went, not saying a word to one another on the way there, like any normal humans. Once they had arrived at said beach, Rahul took out his Ultra Ball and threw it, revealing the mighty adolescent Lugia he had caught (but would never give a nickname to, as doing so is just weird).

“Checkmate.”

“Ah… I see you have caught yourself a mighty specimen! Well done, Master Rahul”

“Alright, pay up now.”

Sebastian, the loyal ancient man, said, “I must see to it that you are given a token of appreciation!”

He quickly coughed into his handkerchief, cleared his throat, looked around wildly, reached into his pocket, and pulled out a wrapped-up Rare Candy. “Here you go, sir. I hope this Rare Candy finds y–”

But before he could finish his sentence, Rahul had snatched the piece of hard candy out of his gloved palm, unwrapped it with the practiced skill of someone who has done this several times before, and popped it into his mouth.

“Thanks.”

“You, um… you do know that Rare Candy is for Pokémon, right?”

Rahul shrugged. “This way I can get some character development too.”

And Sebastian laughed and laughed and laughed on the beach. But, you know, Rahul was right. Or, rather, if he were writing his own sequel to Pacific Rim, there wouldn’t even be any need for character development, as those boring filler scenes just take away from all the explosions, and that’s all we came to see. That’s real entertainment, and Rahul will make a fantastic video game storyboard designer one day (but it is not this day).

Episode 12: Rye-bread

After spending what felt like three to four days out on in the sun getting roasted like a rotisserie Fearow, Ryan, Logan, and Alexander the Acrobat returned to their hotel rooms. They found no sign of Jessica, nor her parents, when they returned. However, there was indeed a sign of Rahul, as he was sitting on the couch, texting on his phone, sharing innumerable posts with them on Pokébook.

“Oh, hey Ryan.”

Just like a I thought. “Sup big man.”

“Nothin’ much.”

“Where’ve you been, Rahul?” Logan asked, holding a giant stuffed Alolomola. “I haven’t seen you since the last time I saw you, man.”

“Yeah, uh, I went off with Mr. Ugo’gir for a while, but then he went missing, so I came back. Oh, and I caught a Lugia. That was pretty fun.”

Alex’s ears perked up at that. “You did what?”

“Oh yeah, don’t worry Alex, it was no big deal.”

“You’re not getting away with that, Ricky boy,” Ryan quipped. “A Legendary’s no joke!”

“Ryan caught a Mew!” Logan sang. “Beat that, Rahul!”

“Eh, I always thought Mewtwo looked cooler,” the big man shrugged.

“We need to talk about this, man. Yo, Rahul, come on. Tell me all about it.”

“Yeah, yeah, alright, fine.”

He struggled to get up from his comfy position, a very favorable position (though he lacked the high ground), eventually following Alex into their room so they could talk this through. This was serious business after all. It would be an excellent and very interesting conversation, no doubt, but Ryan had already almost half-forgotten that Rahul was back.

“I’m making some miso soup. Want any?”

The teal-haired boy shook his head. “Nah brah, I’m having some of that teriyaki lo mein with pineapple.”

“What are you, a fruit?”

“Could an apricot beat every scrub in Kanto, yo?”

“Yes, I think so.”

“At least I wasn’t raised by Clefable. That explains why you’re the way you are.”

“Whoa, Ryan, not cool. I may be a fairy, but you’re a fruit!”

“Great convo, dude.”

He finished heating his lo mein in the microwave and returned to their room where he was going to watch replays of Tyranitar’s Tubular Tribulations on channel 465. Setting his food on the table, he went back to the bathroom to wash his hands when the boy noticed something was wrong. Not only had Logan flipped the toilet paper around to go under instead of over (people like this are the scourge of humanity), but the window, small as a food tray, was popped open too. Moonlight was falling in, and that was when he noticed the screen that was there to keep rabid Ninjask out of their hotel room was missing.

He noticed the screen lying crooked in the bathtub and found that to be rather curious until a second later, a purple boot came shooting through the open window, and then came a second, and then a torso, and then a head, and then the hair of a human being. This human had gestated in her mother’s womb for at least nine months and proceeded to mature into her fully evolved form after at least sixteen years, but that was neither here nor there.

Her fuchsia hair, her light pink eyes, that same forlorn look, still as the dawn, was entirely foreign and entirely nostalgic at the same time. Like a punch to the gut, all the memories flooded back.

“Kelly!”

“Hey, kid.”

Some things will never change. “Wh-wha… what are you doing here?!”

“Resort Gorgeous was closed for the night. They wouldn’t let me in, so…”

“Sebastian’s gonna be so mad about that screen.”

She shrugged, not caring. She wouldn’t look at him either. “So how have things been, Ryan?”

“Eh. I thought I was gonna get to go on a vacation, but for the past three days, I’ve just been fighting baddies and having all these emotional moments, and getting lotsa character development, like old times.”

“Cool.”

“Today was the first day I really got a chance to relax, though.”

She pulled the twisted screen up from the bathtub, trying to fit it back in place. Alas, its shape had morphed ever so much to disallow that. “How much longer are you staying here?”

“Ten more days.”

“Mmm,” she murmured, letting the screen drop again into the bathtub with a loud clunk. “I suppose that’s not so long. You wouldn’t happen to have a spare room for me to stay in, would you?”

He went red. She wants to stay with me again? Why’s she gotten so friendly all of a sudden? “Y-yeah… but what are you doing here, Kelly?”

Now she turned to face him, her shoulders thrust forward, her neck glistening with sweat in the moonlight. “Looking for you.”

“Why?”

“Why don’t we discuss that tomorrow? It’s late, and I’ve been traveling all day. I’m tired. It’s nearly midnight. How are you still awake?”

“I’m a party animal, or something.”

“Right.” She adjusted the backpack she was carrying, turning her gaze from him to the floor. “It’s nice to see you again, Ryan. It’s been a while.”

“Y-yeah… I’ve, I’ve…” … missed you, “I don’t think we ended on the greatest of terms, maybe. It wasn’t that much, I mean, well…” he stuttered awkwardly.

“Forget it, Ryan. I’ve gotten over it.” She looked him dead in the eyes again, and he felt his chest warming beyond his control. “You won fair and square. I didn’t think you had it in you–I didn’t believe you could be better than me. But wishing something to be true and accepting reality are entirely different things. You’re the Indigo League Champion, Rye. There’s nothing anyone can say or do to make that not true. And that’s why I’m here, really.”

“Why are you here?”

“I need your help to defeat a powerful warlord,” she said in a quiet voice. “A man by the name of Pagan Kim. Perhaps you’ve heard of him before?”

“Heard of him?! I fought that dude ages ago! Sent him packing!”

She betrayed a hint of shock. “You did?! When?”

“You weren’t there. We met him in the middle of the forests of Kanto… I think we were near Viridian Forest, but I’m not sure exactly where it was. We found his compound and confronted him for poaching a baby Kangaskhan. I helped Mama Kanga get her baby back, and she sent him flying to the moon…”

Ryan recalled that day. Pagan Kim, in his bright pink suit, the man holding a Master Ball (Ryan only realizing that now as he recollected) threatening to unleash his Zapdos upon them as if they were mere mortals. Mama Kanga had only punched him once and he had gone flying like when Ryan used to throw his stuffed Aipoms across the room like they were pieces of popcorn.

“I bet he’s pissed.”

“Yeah… he sent his dudes after me a few days ago. They tried to mug me!”

“He never forgets,” she said.

“But why do you care what he’s up to? And where’s he hiding out now, anyways?”

“Let’s talk about this tomorrow, okay?”

“Sure…”

She pulled open the door slowly and sneakily like she had a hundred skill points invested in stealth. And yet Logan was standing right there, a steaming bowl of miso soup clutched in his pale hands.

“Whoa… hiya Kelly. Long time no see.” He grinned knowingly. “I didn’t think I’d find you in there, ha.”

“Hey, it’s not what it looks like!” Ryan shot back.

Kelly, unperturbed, marched out, looking around. “So, uh, where can I stay?”

“Why don’t you stay in Ryan’s room tonight?” Logan asked slyly.

He felt his ears getting warm. Gosh, he’s so stupid sometimes! “Logan, shut it! It’s that room just to your right, Kelly…”

She waved at him, signaling that she was going to bed, and he bit his lip, a forlorn feeling descending upon his shoulders.

“Yo, what was that?” Logan asked quickly as soon as Kelly had closed the door. “Deets dude, deets.”

“She came in through the bathroom window,” Ryan sighed. “Security’s pretty lax around these parts evidently.”

I don’t want him getting the wrong idea, Ryan thought, turning, and walking back to the kitchen. But… why not? What am I so afraid of anyways?

“Cool. So is she back?”

“Lugia if I know, man. We’ll learn more tomorrow, hopefully.”

“Yeah… I guess…” the other boy said, and Ryan could detect just the faintest hint of disappointment in Logan’s voice.

He’s got nothing to worry about. She’s nothing like Jessica… nothing like Rahul, either. “So tomorrow, I was thinking we’d explore Six and Seven Islands. Those are the only two I haven’t ‘splored that much. You down, Logan?”

“Nah, man, I’m the top!”

With that, Logan raced off down the hallway. Ryan shook his head. How could a guy like that prefer miso soup over pineapples and mangos?


In the morning, Rahul and Alex set off on a secret mission (most likely to go to the Ember Spa again), while Logan, Kelly, and Ryan all set off for Six Island. Ryan was surprised that Kelly had decided to come with them without much fuss, and she didn’t seem all that impatient to tell him why she had appeared, or what exactly she needed him to help her do. That was fine with Ryan. This was merely day five of his vacation, and he wasn’t nearly as relaxed as he ought to be yet.

They trekked and trekked and trekked for about twenty to twenty-two minutes through the southern mountainous region of Six Island, a pretty cool island to be sure. There wasn’t a lot going on down there, nor were there many people around. It was just how Ryan liked it. The burned wreckage of what looked like some kind of house dominated the landscape, but there weren’t even very many wild Pokémon around. The whole island had an eerie feel to it. The few wild ‘mons they did manage to run into were too weak and too slow and barely leveled up their Pokémon at all in the process.

They heard about the pattern bush, and Logan complained that a bush with a pattern was too obnoxious, so they skipped that islet altogether. Riding Thurnax together, Ryan stuck between Kelly and Logan on her back (the most appropriate position for Ryan compared to those two), they came to the Altering Cave, at the northernmost point of the Six Island chain.

It was here they disembarked, looking around for anything exciting or daring or cool to explore. All they saw was a lot of rocks, a sandy beach, and the waves, ever crashing in, endlessly cycling. It was pretty bleak and salty and they were all tired of looking at it, so they decided to go into the cave when suddenly a screeching purple bat thing came shooting down from the rocks above the entrance to the cave, flying down at them, angling itself at Ryan’s poor Katagiri.

“Oh, you little baby moron! Get away from my Froakie!” Ryan shouted, shooing the thing away. At first, it seemed to heed his dangerous gestures, but then it dive-bombed them again from high up in the sky, going for Katagiri a second time. This ‘mon’s got an attitude.

“I think it wants to fight your frog,” Kelly pointed out. “Speaking of which, where did you get that thing? Isn’t that a Kalos Starter?”

“I found its egg in the woods.”

“That’s convenient.”

“Your hair color’s convenient, yo!” Ryan pulled out his Pokédex angrily, pointing it up at the flapping little devil.

“Gligar, the Fly Scorpion Pokémon. Gligar glides through the air without a sound as if it were sliding. This Pokémon hangs on to the face of its foe using its clawed hind legs and the large pincers on its forelegs, then injects the prey with its poison barb.”

“Ooh, that’s wicked cool!” Ryan pointed at the flying thing and said, “Go get ‘em, Giri! Show that flapper what you’ve got!”

“Froah!” the Froakie responded without missing a beat. He’s not afraid of anything. Maybe that’s a problem, but I kinda like his stupid bravery sometimes.

Hopping off Ryan’s shoulder, the Froakie approached the circling Gligar cautiously. Noticing its foe had finally challenged it, the flying scorpion thing flapped its wings, spun in midair, and dove at Katagiri again. This time, the Froakie was too slow. Gligar thrust its claw forward, black sparks surrounding it, and as it came down, it whacked Katagiri hard in the neck, sending him flying back.

“Well, would you look at that? That was a devastating hit,” Kelly remarked. “I’d guess that Gligar’s at least level 25. Your Froakie stands no chance, Rye.”

“That’s what you think! Katagiri, Ice Beam!”

His loyal froggy jumped into the air, charging up a white glowing beam, hopping back to the crater he had been thrown out of to get a better angle on the flying Gligar. The wild Pokémon watched with mild interest, poking its tongue out and laughing hysterically as it flew about.

Then it was hit in the wing with a hard blow, and it fell, almost not catching itself before it hit the ground. It only just did, and as it did, it let out a cry of pain, flapping its wings harder, gathering speed, and flying in circles at a greater pace now.

Agility, Ryan knew. That’s strange. It thinks it still has a chance. Oh well.

“Now it’s my turn! Gligar, I choose you!” Ryan shouted dumbly, sticking his own tongue out, hopping forward, and throwing an Ultra Ball at the flying purple creature.

It was hit in the belly, and so shocked was it that the Gligar barely got out a squeak of surprise before it was sucked inside. And then, the ball fell, wriggled, and settled. It was too easy. A flash of light covered the Ultra Ball, and it disappeared.

Ryan clapped wildly. “Woo yeah! I caught it, I caught, look at me, I’m great!”

Logan clapped politely, but Kelly just folded her arms. “Hmph. I see you haven’t matured at all since the Indigo League.”

“You bet!” Logan replied. “You should see him sometimes, Kelly. He’s like a child! A baby! A tiny little Pichu who hasn’t gotten his lunch just on time! Oh, the things he’s said and done… I can’t even begin to repeat them here. This is a family friendly story!”

“Man, whatchu on about?”

“Settle down, you two.” Kelly yawned. “Let’s see what’s inside, alright? I’ve never heard of this cave before. I bet there’s all sorts of treasure and rare Pokémon and stuff in there. Let’s go.”

She commanded both of them more easily than Ryan liked. And yet, as they went to go inside, Ryan noticed that Katagiri had not returned to his shoulder.

“Yo buddy, what’s up?”

His Froakie was standing in the crater, croaking softly, his chest puffed out, his eyes closed. “Froah… froah… froah…”

As Ryan went to pick him up, a brilliant flash of light surrounded his body, far eclipsing what had just happened with the Ultra Ball. Ryan sucked in a gasp of air. No way… He’s… he can’t be…

But indeed he was. It wasn’t even hacks or anything unnatural. Froakie’s form shifted, elongated, contorted, and grew, and it was like Mew all over again, except this time it was permanent (and therefore meaningful). Bluish sparks danced in the air around his body, and the when the glow faded, it was not his tiny baby buddy who remained, but a far larger froggy boy.

“Frogadier, the Bubble Frog Pokémon,” Dex said.

“Heya, wait a minute! I thought you said Froakie was the Bubble Frog Pokémon?”

“They are both the Bubble Frog Pokémon, oh wisest of masters.”

“Right, right, continue,” the boy said quickly.

“Ahem ahem. Frogadier, the Bubble Frog Pokémon. Its swiftness is unparalleled. It can scale a tower of more than 2,000 feet in a minute's time.”

There were goosebumps on Ryan’s arms. “Whoa… Logan, did you hear that?”

“I have ears Ryan!”

“Katagiri!” Ryan fell to his knees, hugging his newly-evolved Frogadier. “I’m so proud of you! You could scale Korin Tower no problem, I just know it! You’d get the Sacred Water in no time!”

His Frogadier was almost half as tall as him now. Katagiri looked mildly amused by everything that had just happened. “Dieer…”

“Well, I take that back,” Kelly said, smiling. “That Gligar was obviously a much higher level than Katagiri. But he won anyways. I’m not surprised it induced an evolution…”

She knelt to scratch the boy behind his ear.

“Frog frog!”

“Ooh, ooh, do me next, do me next!” Logan pled.

“Maybe when you evolve into being a fool,” Kelly replied lightly. She turned, stood, and walked off into the opening of the tunnel just like that.

“A-a… fool?” Logan cocked his head, not understanding. “But if I’d evolve into a fool, what does that make me now?”

“Oh Logan, you shouldn’t ask questions like that,” Ryan said, patting him on the shoulder. “If you don’t already know, there’s no hope for you!” he said cheerfully.

Then, whistling (rather poorly, one might say), Ryan ran off after Kelly, Katagiri hot on his heels.


The only thing they found in the Altering Cave was a weird looking old guy with huge glasses holding a magnifying glass and chasing tiny bugs in the corner of the cave, and a small herd of Mareep. Each of them caught one, which was a great moment of course, but then they left because that cave had nothing else to offer them. Ryan was a little sad that Ana the Slowpoke wasn’t there, but it was okay since she was also terrible and no good.

By midafternoon, they had arrived on Seven Island to do a bit of exploring, and indeed, they explored some stuff. It was really exciting going through the Sevault Canyon. There were like five or six Wild Pokémon that just flung themselves at the three of them hoping to perhaps eat them or who knows what (Ryan speculated that all wild Gravelers just wanted an excuse to use Explosion and never be seen again by anyone ever).

It was real sad how dozens of Gravelers just threw themselves out from behind bushes and trees, grunted a bit, grinned maniacally, and blew up in their faces. Luckily, the three trainers who were all very intelligent and very clever never took out any of their Pokémon (Frogadier, being a Ninja Frog™, hid behind Ryan’s leg every time and didn’t take even one HP of damage as a result), so these Explosions had no effect other than to decimate the local Graveler population. Since the Gravelers did that to themselves, however, Ryan didn’t feel tiny a bit guilty, not even a bit.

At the southernmost point of the canyon, they came across a house where a woman lived, and she was a fine looking woman, or rather, she was an intelligent woman, or rather, she was a woman who had a lot of feelings. She asked them all to do the dance of Sableye for her so she could get the rocks off her roof, but when the three of them suddenly engaged in a dance (after agreeing) against their will, as if some invisible puppet strings were making them move, Logan began to scream, and the woman, not liking the shrill sound of the boy’s screams (which reminded Ryan somewhat of Master Koga’s screams), disappeared back into her house in a mad, breathless sprint, akin to when Ryan used to try to scale the five flights of stairs at school to reach his morning class without appearing to be out of shape (oh but he was, and indeed was he).

There was a lot of shuffling inside, and then the roof collapsed, and there wasn’t anymore movement. The three of them thought it best to return to town at that point, as they hadn’t quick-saved in a while, and it was nearly lunchtime.

On their way back to town, however, Kelly was toying with a bracelet on her left arm, so Ryan, knowing that any inquiry would lead to an excellent moment in the story, inquired, “What’s that, Kelly? You weren’t wearing that in Kanto!”

“It’s my Mega Bracelet. Do you know what that is, Rye?”

“Heheheh, and whose Mega Stone does it hold?”

She seemed a bit surprised that he knew what he was talking about, but quickly composed herself. “‘Aichu’s… who else?”

“In that case, I challenge you, madam, to a duel!” He pulled out his pocket watch and opened its face, showing her his own Key Stone. “See, I’ve got one too! Let’s go! Mega versus mega! The ultimate battle!”

“Okay then. Let’s see what you’ve got.” There was a fire in Kelly’s eyes. She seemed very curious about where this was headed. Is that a good sign or a bad sign?

Out came Thurnax and ‘Aichu. The dragon imposed its presence over that electric mouse. Thurnax’s gonna win easy. No sweat. “Alright, girl! Extreme Speed!”

“Hidden Power, ‘Aichu!” Kelly commanded coolly.

As their two Pokémon leapt back, they were each covered in their auras, their forms twisting into something new. ‘Aichu’s ears grew into lightning bolts, and her tail became more jagged as well. A white, lightning-shaped scruff of fur just below her neck also appeared.

It was, of course, Thurnax who hit first. Coming down from the sky with great speed, she slammed into the little mouse without so much as giving a warning. Raichu was flung back, wincing. As Thurnax caught her breath, Raichu gathered blue-white energy in her paws and released it upon the magnificent dragon. Crying, Thurnax stumbled back, taken aback by that attack.

“A crit?! No way! That’s not fair, Kelly! I demand a recount!”

“Stop your whining. It’s only luck, after all.”

“Thurnax, Extreme Speed that little rodent into oblivion now!”

“I think you should do the same, ‘Aichu… Extreme Speed!”

Suddenly, the Raichu sprinted forward, running with unbelievable speed. It was pretty extreme, one could say. Before Thurnax could even take to the air, Raichu did an acrobatic flip and slammed her tail into Thurnax’s belly, sending her flying into a tree.

The mighty Dragonite moaned and slumped over, her eyes shut tight. Are you kidding me?

“Return, Thurnax!” Ryan sighed.

“That was too easy,” Kelly said, returning her own Pokémon.

“Hey now, watch it! That was unbelievably lucky… in fact, it was so lucky, if Alex were here, he’d be sick! He’d be throwing up on the beach!”

“Well then someone should get him a bucket,” Kelly replied carelessly.

“You got off easy!”

“Yeah, yeah… whatever. Let’s go get something to eat.”

She strolled off down the path, back towards the port of Seven Island.

Logan and Ryan were just gaping at her, shocked. “I mean, I like that stubbornness. It’s kinda hot,” Logan admitted. “She’s definitely the alpha. Can’t you tell?”

“What do you think the odds are that she would’ve won that match?”

“Probably greater than the odds of you winning the Indigo League, dude.”

Dude, I haven’t made a single joke about Granddaddy Clefable in like two days. You should count yourself lucky. Ryan sighed, shaking his head, and slunked off after that girl with the purple hair back into town.


Seven Island had proven to be pretty boring too, so by three or four o’clock, they had returned to Resort Gorgeous to waste the rest of the day on the beach. Walking along the shore, the three of them decided to have a conversation amongst themselves, as to not have a conversation would be the weirder and less convenient of the two options they could have engaged in.

“So where’s Pagan Kim hiding out anyways?”

“He’s holed up in the town of Kyrai, just east of Kalos. It’s deep in the mountains, far away from any other towns or routes. We’ll have to take a gondola over the mountains just to get there… it’s very remote. Kind of like here, only a lot colder.”

“Well that sounds terrible. I hate the cold, Kelly. I don’t do well in the cold…! I have like no body fat!”

She gave him a curious look that he didn’t understand. They passed a man asleep on the beach, his stomach red and sunburnt as he snored loudly. Oh boy, he’s gonna feel that in the morning.

Logan asked, “What I don’t get is why do you care? What does it matter if that guy’s living in the middle of nowhere?”

“Don’t worry about that. He stole something from my mother. That’s all you need to know, okay?” she replied in a defiant whisper.

“Come on, come on, what is iiiiiiiiiiiit? Tell us!”

“No. You in or out? I can’t give you any more information. We’re going to find him, we’re going to beat him, and I’m going to take back what belongs to my mother. It’s that simple. It’s not a complicated set of conditions, alright? If you don’t want to go, I’ll find someone else. Maybe Alex and Rahul will want to come too.”

“I’ll go,” Ryan said quickly. “Don’t worry, I got your back Kelly.”

“Good,” she smiled, and he felt all tingly all over again.

Walking down the beach to the far end of the island, away from where most of the tourists were, the three teenagers came across what looked like a large chunk of bubblegum, or maybe Majin Buu’s lost baby cousin, washed up on the beach. Before any of them could investigate, however, a shirtless boy came racing across the beach, shooting sand into the sky with every galloping stride.

“Well, like, look at that,” Davey said, scratching his scraggly beard as he arrived. “Oh man…” he rubbed his hands together, looking upon the little pink thing with unbridled lust. “Oh man, oh man. She looks just like my governor… so thicc, so juicy sweet!”

He licked his lips. He has a really high voice for someone as thick-chested and bearded as him, Ryan thought vaguely.

“Sup Davey, remember me?” Ryan asked him.

The other boy looked up, annoyed at someone breaking him out of his concentration. “Yeah, yeah, I thought I was hidden,” he complained. “Can’t you see I’m not online?”

“Oh okay.”

“Besides, this one’s mine, I already called it.”

“Do you even know what that is?” Kelly asked, stepping forward.

“Look at those curves. Like, I shouldn’t have to spell this out to you… it’s extra thicc!”

The blob stirred. Davey purred. Everyone took a step closer.

“You’ve met this guy before?” Kelly asked.

“Yeah, on the first day I got here…” Ryan sighed. “I’m surprised he’s still around. He’s super narcissistic and neurotic and fidgety and weird, but if I say I love him, doesn’t that mean that all those criticisms go away and don’t mean anything?”

“Shhh… quiet, she’s stirring!” Davey growled. “Everyone get back, she’s mine! Look at that booty! Oh my gosh, I’ve been on a quest for booty for so long!!”

The pink blob was indeed moving a bit, probably having woken up from their incessant yapping. It slowly turned over, revealing the half-baked face of the once-regal and very elderly Granddaddy Clefable. Ryan gasped; Logan screamed like an Ekans. Kelly didn’t do anything because this Pokémon has no relevance to her life. Davey purred even louder.

“Oh my…” he said. “You’re a pretty girl.” Davey’s tone became more soothing and gentle.

“Hey, that’s no girl! That’s my Granddaddy Clefable!” Logan shot back.

“Oh.” Davey stood up awkwardly, looking around. “I, uh, I’m gonna skate. I need to go to the local CVS to pick up some water-based personal lubrication. I hope you all understand. Like, I’m bone dry right now! I’m all out. It’s awful.”

Davey ran and ran and ran and never looked back. It can be hard to run when you have your cell phone in your swim trunks’ pocket just flopping around, or so they say.

“Yo, Granddaddy, my man, my main man, my liege! What happened?”

“Fable.”

“Clefairy fairy fairy!” Logan butted in. “Fairy? Cle fairy fairy?”

“Fable,” the Clefable replied weakly, spitting up water.

“What’d he say, Logan?”

“I don’t know, he’s not making any sense. He’s just speaking gibberish!”

“How can you tell? He sounds exactly the same as always.”

“Nuh uh, this time’s different!”

Kelly exhaled impatiently. “What the heck is wrong with you two? Am I the only one with any brains around here? Seriously, what the heck?”

“Hey, I’m not the one pretending to be able to speak Clefable! I’m an honest blue-haired boy, and I won the Indigo League!”

“I can speak Clefairy, thank you very much! And I’m fluent. I was raised by Granddaddy Clefable. He’s my real Granddaddy, okay?”

Kelly wrinkled her nose. “You are an unbelievably weird creature, Logan.”

“Yeah, whatever. I bet you wish you could speak Clefairy just like me! It’s a gift of mine! I’m better than 99% of people who can’t ever dream of being able to speak a Pokémon language.”

Amidst all the bickering and whining, Granddaddy Clefable struggled to his feet, hopped up, and reached into Ryan’s bag. Before the boy had realized what had happened, the God-Emperor had stolen a Poké Ball, cracked it open, and jumped inside.

“What the…?” The ball flashed with light and disappeared.

“Y-y-you just caught Granddaddy Clefable?!” Logan stuttered, tears in his eyes. “I can’t believe you, Ryan! What the heck was that? I don’t understand! Is this real life?”

“Looks like he wanted to get some peace and quiet from all your nonsense,” Kelly shot back. “Heck, I don’t blame him. I’m getting a headache just listening to you two right now. What I’m wondering is how can anyone put up with all your jive on a constant basis?”

“That’s not very nice, Kelly.”

“Look, I can see you two are going to be at this for a while, so I’m going to go find a nice cool spot in the shade to relax. In the meantime, why don’t you two train a bit so you’ll be able to help me take on Kim’s guards? Judging by that last battle we had, Ryan, you’re going to need some valuable training time with your ‘mons. Especially that Frogadier. You think a weak little frog like that is going to take down a Pokémon Black Market Kingpin like Pagan Kim? Psh. We don’t stand a chance as it is.”

“Frog!” Katagiri cried out.

That’s no fair. He just evolved. What more could she ask for?!

Regardless, Kelly walked off after that, leaving them standing in the dust, all rather humiliated, and all rather ashamed, though only Ryan was flushed pink and feeling all tingly. But hey, they were on a tropical island, a sweltering heated sand trap, and they had ten more days of vacation left to enjoy, so they had time. I got plenty of time, Ryan thought to himself. But before I get back to training, Imma go find the nearest orange juice vending machine… both for Kelly’s sake and my own.

The air was humid and hot, and Logan was ready to argue all over again. But then Ryan ran off down the beach, and since he was faster than Logan (something he had learned in his various travels with the boy), he knew Logan had no hope of ever catching him. It was like when that Mega Mewtwo had tried to outspeed Mega Mew. It simply couldn’t, no matter how hard it tried.

That’s a life lesson for the ages, Ryan thought, and he was glad that his speed stat was far superior to Logan’s, for in the blink of an eye, he had already left the boy on the other side of the beach well behind and he could no longer hear Logan’s whining. And indeed that was the greatest moment of solace for Ryan in some time.

Champions Arc

Championsarcbanner





This arc adheres to Generation VII physics.


Episode 1: The Rule of Two

The bullet train from Viridian City to Kalos left once a day at six o’clock sharp. As they had a few hours to kill, Ryan, Kelly, Logan, Rahul, and Alex decided to trek through the Viridian Forest for a while for no good reason other than to fill up this chapter’s word count.

While they were making their way through the tall grass, not even using max repel (they were hardcore like that), the five people who were not yet adults and probably never would be stumbled across a most fortuitous sight.

“Holy space guacamole, it’s Dean!” Ryan gasped, pointing at Alex’s little bro, who was standing in a clearing in the middle of the forest, doing naught but admiring his smartphone’s wallpaper in peace and quiet.

“Yo Dean, what are you doing out here?!” Alex asked in a rather concerned tone.

“Oh hi, Brother. I’m waiting for this guy called Terry to show up. We’re going to do a Pokémon battle. It’s going to be epic, just watch.”

“Oh, okay, I see, I see.”

Ryan thought it was his turn to talk since he hadn’t talked in a few turns. “Cool. Who’s this Terry guy anyhow?”

“He has a neckbeard, and when you see him, it’ll remind you of when you accidentally leave your rice crispy treats in the car for too long and they melt in their wrappers, and, oh yeah, can’t forget, he wears a fedora too.”

“Sounds like a stylish dude,” Rahul said.

“I’ve never heard a more hideous description of a human being in my entire life,” snickered Logan.

Kelly threw her hands up. “Who cares about any of this?”

“Oh okay, so you’re going to smash him, Dean? Do you want me to spin some yo-yos in the background while you fight him to epic music?”

“Nah, that’s okay.”

“Oh, okay.”

The bushes rustled. I’ve never met a guy named Terry who wasn’t like a cup of vanilla pudding.

Ryan elbowed Rahul. “C’mon big man, go see what it is!”

“Are you serious right now, Ryan?!” Rahul laughed incredulously. “This is the real world, I’m not going to just charge in and see what’s there. What if it’s dangerous?”

“You’ll respawn in about seven seconds, no problem.”

“Yeah… no. I think I’ll pass. Why don’t you go find out for yourself?”

“Now Rahul buddy, don’t be unreasonable.”

Luckily, for the sake of Rahul’s honor, a moment later, none other than Terry, the Legendary Fedora-Wearer, popped out of the bush, and he looked exactly as Dean had described. Horrified, Ryan had to cover his mouth and avert his eyes. He has to have been growing that neckbeard for like a decade! Look at how thick it is. This is the stuff of nightmares!

“Good evening, gentlemen.” Terry tipped his fedora, a rotund brown-and-cream one, upon reaching them. “My sincerest apologies. I’m running late. I only just finished posting my Pokémon Memoirs… although some may call this simple fiction, ha! In it, I’m a boy born with an unmatched Pokémon Sense and can levitate spoons like an Alakazam! I’m the forsaken prince of an honorable warrior empire. My daddy, the vegetable man, was cruelly cut down in combat against a violently cold oppressor. Thus, it is my life’s mission, thanks to my unmatched Pokémon Sense and amazing power, to avenge him! I made my character a Pokémon Master at birth, which I think is fair. Also, I gave myself every Legendary Pokémon, as well as any other Pokémon and Mega Stones I wanted, because what good is a story without giving yourself all the goods right from the start, am I right?”

Nobody said anything.

“Mmm, let’s see, the reviews are just starting to come in, and… ack! E-…?! An E-…?! Look at that nincompoop! He gave my story an E-! Can you guys believe it?” They could and they were very uncomfortable and not one of them looked him in the eyes. “Look at this outrageous drivel… one hundred thirty-two cons and not a single pro… his review is garbage! It must be horrible. Hang on, Dean. I’m going to have to blog about this to my loyal sycophants on RegularArt, be right back.”

Terry jumped back into the bush, leaving them all to stand there in awkward silence.

“I’m going to Farfetch’d Sweep him, Brother,” Dean finally said, cracking his knuckles and pulling out a Poké Ball. “I was going to use my regular team, but since he’s such a…”

“A jive Fearow,” Rahul butted in.

“… an idiot, like you, Rahul, I’m going for maximum humiliation.”

“Oh yeah, Farfetch’d sweep! He’s really gonna do it, hahaha!” Alex was guffawing.

Ryan, on the other hand, found this to be not funny in the slightest. Instead, this brought a tear to his eye. “Do it, Dean,” he said in a tremulous voice, “for all the Pokékids at home who’ve never been able to humiliation sweep their bitter rivals! It’s going to be beautiful; I can’t wait!”

“Is it six yet?” Kelly sighed, shaking her head.

“I don’t really have anything to do this chapter, so I’m just gonna be Dean’s cheerleader, yeah!” Logan whooped, jumping into the air like a bit of a dandy.

From the rustling bushes, Terry returned. “Hey guys, sorry about that, I was just the best ever, right?”

“If you want to battle, get over here and face me,” Dean said, annoyed. “Stop wasting everyone’s time.”

“Whoa, chill out. If I need to take a few minutes to rant to my many loyal sycophants about some loser’s crappy review of my wonderful fic, that’s my business, and you’ll have to wait for me. Look, I drew myself as a Pokémon Master. Pretty good drawing, don’t you think?” he asked arrogantly, holding up a digitally-colored picture of a very thin man with muscles for days and hair that was something like a mix between Goku and Gohan.

“You didn’t draw him fat like you, and there’s no neckbeard,” Dean noted. “That picture’s a lie.”

Dang Dean… harsh! “Hmph, whatever. I’m a better artist than you and a better Pokémon Master too, so what do you have to say about that?!”

“Go Drifblim!” Dean shouted impatiently, throwing his Poké Ball, revealing an ugly floating Pokémon that Ryan had never seen before and would never see again most likely.

“Is that some kind of joke? Are you mocking me? Charizard, deal with this sad excuse for a Pokémon! Blast Burn!”

“Minimize, Drifblim!”

Drifblim got real tiny and real evasive, but not after getting roasted up good. For good measure, he ate a Sitrus Berry to recover some health. Despite this, the floating Blimp Pokémon was not significantly wounded yet. Dang, Terry’s arrogant. He thought his Charizard would one-shot Drifblim. What a maroon.

Indeed, during the next turn, Charizard was forced to recharge his attack, and it was pretty lame. Instead of attacking, however, Drifblim Minimized again, becoming even more evasive.

“Flamethrower!”

“Minimize!”

He was so evasive now. All shifty and such, the lumbering blimp monster easily flew out of the way of the incoming blast of flames, becoming even more elusive in the process. This was vicious. Ryan loved it.

“Substitute, Drifblim!”

“Flamethrower!”

Again the flames came calling, and again the blimp ‘mon said “Not today”. What does Terry think this is, the Hindenburg all over again? What a stupid git. To make matters worse for Charizard, now there was like a little green stuffed animal sitting before Drifblim, and as everyone knows, stuffed animals are as good as shields of katchin against (wannabe) dragons.

Terry stroked his neckbeard angrily. “Flamethrower, Charizard! Come on, I’m the protagonist of this story! Stop making me look so stupid!”

“Baton Pass, Drifblim!”

The flames tried to reach him; they really did. Alas, Drifblim was three Minimizes deep and wasn’t about to get caught. He wasn’t particularly quick with his evasion, but nonetheless, like a balloon being carried along the wind, he slowly floated out of the way of Charizard’s fire, taking no damage, before tossing the figurative baton to Dean’s next Pokémon: Scolipede, the Megapede Pokémon.

It’s not so bad, I guess. At least Charizard hasn’t taken any damage yet. Still, Terry had gone red and the sweat accumulating on his brow was rather thick in Ryan’s estimation, like a layer of gruel.

“Charizard, return. Lucario, you’re up!” Terry thundered. Ryan did not see the point of this move, as he was losing a tempo by switching fighters at this point, but whatever. Fire is super effective against bugs. Come on brah, what are you doing? But I guess it’s not like this guy sounds very smart. When he talks, it’s pretty clear he’s a dummy. A real big dummy. Too bad he’s so arrogant. Oh well, most people are.

“Scolipede, Swords Dance!”

“His Scolipede’s ability is Speed Boost, so he’ll get faster every turn,” Alex noted, his arms folded, grinning. “This is going well for Dean so far. I don’t think Terry understands what’s happening.”

“That’s a shame.”

Scolipede danced about, phantom swords appearing over his head, and Ryan was semi-awed by his moves. I wish I could dance that good.

“Aura Sphere!”

“Swords Dance!”

The Aura Sphere blew itself up against the stuffed animal substitute left by Drifblim, but alas, that stuffed animal was sturdy, and despite Lucario turning into his Mega form before launching that energy blast, it didn’t do enough damage. Then, Scolipede began the Dance of Megapedes again, and Ryan saw with his own two eyes that the long guy was dancing faster than last time. I wonder how fast he can do that dance.

Lucario attacked with Aura Sphere for a second time. This time, the substitute was blown away. Scolipede hardly reacted, instead dancing again, swords twirling whimsically over his head, and he was gaining speed. Ryan was mightily impressed. Then, Lucario used Aura Sphere and Scolipede was hit for the first time. The damage was heavy, but nothing that seemed to be too detrimental for the sweep. The bug hopped up after getting hit, almost not paying attention to what was going on, and performed yet another dance.

It was beautiful how fast his little legs shimmied back and forth. Ryan wiped a tear from his eye. Now this was real entertainment. This alone was worth the trek out into the middle of the forest.

Another Aura Sphere was ordered, a big surprise. But Scolipede, fresh though he was, was in no danger. “Baton Pass, Scolipede!” Dean ordered. In a flash, Scolipede vanished and was replaced by a bright-scaled Vaporeon, who took the Aura Sphere to the face harshly, knocking the poor boy back. Dang. That might’ve been a crit.

“What the heck are you doing?” Terry asked. “This is so boring. Attack already! Stop running, you coward! My Pokémon are amazing! Watch them defeat your Pokémon like they’re nothing. Stop playing games and face me like a real Pokémon Trainer.”

“Nothing you just said has any meaning,” Dean replied lazily. “Now Vaporeon, use Amnesia!”

“Aura Sphere, Lucario!”

“I haven’t heard of that attack before, wow.”

Nonetheless, Aura Sphere went crashing into Vaporeon again. Luckily, Vaporeon had been ordered to use Amnesia, so he immediately forgot the pain he had just endured; he looked around with a dazed grin, and somehow that made his special attack more potent. Ryan wasn’t about to question the logic of this sequence of events. He was just here to be entertained.

The same thing happened again. Unfortunately for Terry and his Mega Lucario, this next Aura Sphere was not a critical hit.

“End him, Lucario! Aura Sphere!” Terry said boldly.

“You gotta give him credit,” Ryan muttered into Kelly’s ear. “He’s spamming Alex’s brother without any fear. That’s not bad. It’s well-deserved medicine to be fair.”

“Stop whispering in my ear,” Kelly shot back.

“Baton Pass, Vaporeon!” Dean declared, and in a flash of light, his Bubble Jet Pokémon disappeared. In its place, a Farfetch’d appeared. Aw yeah, now this is what I’m talking about. It’s sweepin’ time, baby!

“Are you serious? You expect to take on my Mega Lucario with a Farfetch’d?” Terry leaned forward, his hands on his knees, howling with laughter.

Ryan found nothing amusing about this. When someone laughs and you don’t find what they find funny, that is about the least impressive thing in the world. Nobody finds it impressive when you laugh at your own joke. But then again, nobody finds a neckbeard impressive either, and yet he’s got one. No wonder he’s the more deluded. You have to direct these battles like a machine, but he’s all nerve. What a shame.

“I wouldn’t be laughing if I were you,” Dean quipped. “Do you want to resign right now? It’ll be less humiliating if you do.”

“No it won’t!” Rahul shouted. “If you give up before facing Dean’s Farfetch’d, that’ll show you’re cravenhearted. There’s no way he’ll give up. He can’t. He’s gotta be a real man, a real doctor! Basically, run!” Triumphantly, Rahul raised his sonic screwdriver into the air as if he had just said something worthy of applause. Nobody clapped, not even the wild Pokémon watching from the trees.

“Yeah, not a chance,” Terry said, adjusting his fedora and striking a pose that would make even Recoome cringe. “I’m winning this battle. I’m the protagonist of the Pokémon World! This is my fight, my life, my battle, my journey!! I’m going to make a fortune selling my fan manga!!”

“Yo, that’s not cool. You can’t get money off the Pokémon World… you don’t own this stuff!” Ryan spat, his blood boiling. “That’s called plagiarism, you pathetic worm. If you’re going to sell a fan manga, don’t be lazy and use an already-existing universe. This stuff isn’t yours to begin with!”

Terry waved him off arrogantly. I’ll have to tell Officer Jenny about this when I get the chance. Man, Terry would look good in orange, or maybe white-and-black. It’s hard to say which would be better.

“Are you ready to lose now?” Dean asked him.

“Are you?”

“Really original. Farfetch’d, Brave Bird!”

“Aura Sphere, Lucario!”

Even though Lucario was in his Mega form, Farfetch’d moved faster. It was astonishing to behold. The Wild Duck Pokémon flew into the air like a missile and then came down again, pulling his wings back and leading with his beak, crashing into Lucario’s chest. The Aura Pokémon shuddered and fell over, unconscious. Panting and wincing from the recoil damage, Farfetch’d nonetheless leaned against his leek and cawed loudly.

“Amazing! Wow, go Dean! Woohoo Dean, you’ve got this! Great job, good job, decent job!” Logan sang, jumping up and down, waving a pair of green pom poms in the air.

“Lucky hit!” Terry hid his embarrassment with a sneer. “Go, Charizard. Flamethrower!”

“Return!”

Faster than the Flame Pokémon, Farfetch’d jumped at his foe, tackling him viciously. In the dust and undergrowth, they struggled for several seconds before the Wild Duck Pokémon hopped up. Charizard could not so much as move.

“Gruh! Venusaur, go! Frenzy Plant!”

“Return, Farfetch’d,” Dean said calmly, almost apologetically.

Again the overbearing Kanto starter was tackled to the ground by a wild, fast, frenzied duck Pokémon. Terry may be a lover, but he ain’t no dancer, Ryan thought, watching Neckbeard Fedora McGee unraveling before them as he was humiliated more and more with each of these KOs.

“This is… Impossible! I cannot lose! Ditto, it’s your turn! Transform!”

“Farfetch’d, do another Return.”

“Fetch’d!!”

“Dean, Dean, he’s our man, if he can’t do it, no one can! Goooo Dean!” Logan sang.

The poor Ditto didn’t even get to turn into a Farfetch’d simulacrum before he was tackled against the base of a tree, getting knocked out in one blow.”

“Baton Pass is so broken. It should be banned,” Ryan muttered.

Alex gasped, deeply offended. “No way. It’s not as broken as other things that are still legal, and since it wasn’t banned when I was at Smogon University, I think it’s an entirely reasonable move.”

“Dude, it’s literally the most unreasonable move in the entire universe,” Rahul said, shaking his dang head.

“Dusknoir, I choose you! Shadow Ball that Farfetch’d! End this now!”

“Brave Bird!”

Logan’s eyes got wide. “Whoa, can he survive another recoil?”

“Most likely,” Alex replied, narrowing his eyes.

Again Farfetch’d took the air and before Dusknoir could so much as catch its footing, the Wild Duck Pokémon was sailing down, an aura of flames around its body as it crashed into the portly Gripper Pokémon. Crying out in pain, Farfetch’d struggled to rise, his legs shaking, using his leek to keep himself from falling over. Battered and bruised, covered in mud and dust and pieces of grass, the Farfetch’d looked like quite the badass to Ryan. He’s not done yet.

Dusknoir, meanwhile, had been OHKO’d like all the rest.

Now he was sweating real bad. Now he was scared. No one likes to be humiliated. Too bad. It’s time Terry took his medicine. It seems the reviews he got about his story weren’t enough to drop his arrogance down a peg. He’ll need some real foul-tastin’ medicine for that to happen, it seems.

“Alright, Jolteon, it’s down to you! Thunderbolt!”

“Nah brah, let’s end this with a Return.”

Renowned for its speed, Jolteon nevertheless was slower than Farfetch’d. A simple tackle, like all the rest, was all it took for the super-monster that was Dean’s Farfetch’d to destroy the last of Terry’s Pokémon. At once, Ryan was reminded of Dean’s battle against Pinkbeard the Pirate with Mega Magikarp. Somehow this fight felt to him even more impressive. He took down a team of six Pokémon–fully-evolved and trained Pokémon–with only a Farfetch’d. Dang, bro. Terry’s not gonna forget this battle for the rest of his life, ha!

“It’s over,” said Alex in a deep voice.

“That wasn’t very hard,” Dean said arrogantly, returning his weary wild duck warrior. “Good game, Terry.”

“That’s… this is… I can’t believe… no, no, this is, this isn’t fair… this isn’t happening. You were… just lucky!” he shouted awkwardly before fleeing off into the bushes.

“Well, that was something.”

“Go Dean, yeah!” Logan sang, jumping up and down, working those pom poms like a proper cheerleader. Ryan had a sneaking suspicion that Dean had received some training in that dance.

“It wasn’t hard. Don’t get all worked up about it. He was all talk and no substance.”

“I think he thought he was born with a power level of 500,000,” Alex observed, “when in reality, he was just a low-class Pokémon Trainer.”

“Screw the low-class Pokémon Trainers, they suck!”

Kelly raised an eyebrow. “Like you?”

“Shh, Kelly, stop it! Don’t make me show you the magic; my position is tragic!”

“Ryan, stop referencing obscure lyrics that no one but you will understand,” Logan reprimanded him coldly.

“My b, dude, my b.”

“Almost,” Logan winked. “Not quite the b, though.”

“Wow, dude… um, that’s outrageous, Logan. Stop it, yo. You’re saying too much.”

“Shut up, you two. You’re just babbling nonsense. Let’s go. It’s getting late. We don’t want to miss the train, do we?” Kelly snapped.

In the dying light, sunbeams on her brilliant pink hair, Kelly glistened with a maternal aura, and Ryan had to swallow, look away, and clear his mind to prevent any further embarrassment. Something buzzed in his pocket, nearly making him scream, but his anxiety quickly faded when he realized it was just his phone.


“Ryan, you coming?” Logan asked. Everyone else had already disappeared into the bush.

“Yeah, uh, go on ahead. I’ll be there in a minute.”

Staring at his phone, Ryan read the message again: That Clefable you sent here is causing your father and I a great deal of annoyance. Your father wants you to send your Pokémon somewhere else, and I don’t exactly disagree with him, Rye. You need to come home and talk to us about this when you get a chance.

“Just great. Of course Granddaddy Clefable would screw me over again,” Ryan sighed, shaking his head. Pulling out Alakazam’s Poké Ball, he released his oldest buddy, coming face-to-face with him. “Hey there Zam.”

“Alakazam!”

“Granddaddy Clefable’s making a right mess of things at home. I, um, don’t have time to return to Acapulco and deal with this right now, so I’m going to send you back there to set him straight, okay?”

The Psi Pokémon blinked lazily. “Zam.”

“You’re in charge, okay? Make sure my other buddies aren’t causing a ruckus either, if you can.”

“Kazam zam zam!”

“Good boy,” Ryan beamed, scratching his loyal friend behind the ear.

Alakazam returned to his Poké Ball; Ryan pointed his Pokédex at it, and a moment later, the ball, shimmering with light, disappeared. And to think he used to hate getting put in one of those things. For the first time since he had set out on his Pokémon journey, save for that one short spell where it had been forced by his father, Ryan and Alakazam were no longer together. In a way it hurt, he supposed, but at the same time, he knew this was for the best. Alakazam’ll put Granddaddy Clefable in his place. And we won’t be gone long. Kelly said it shouldn’t take more than a week to deal with Pagan Kim…

Pocketing the Pokédex, Ryan noticed a shadow fall over him in the silent forest. He was expecting some kind of feral-looking Bug Pokémon to be staring down at him hungrily from the branches and was not disappointed when he looked up.

The Pinsir’s wings were buzzing as it jumped down from the overhanging branch, crying out, leaping for him. The boy staggered away from it, tripping over the undergrowth and dropping the Poké Ball that had been in his hand. Thurnax never felt so far away. In his backpack, the sleeping Frogadier hardly even stirred. Maybe I should wake him up extra rudely so he’ll do his job…

This Pinsir was likely far stronger than dozing Katagiri, so the boy decided against it. Reaching for Thurnax’s ball, Ryan let out a terrified scream as Pinsir touched him (bugs are nasty creatures) with its shell as it rolled forward aggressively to cut him off from his Pokémon. Now Ryan, a boy with blue hair because this is a fantasy world, was shaking with fear. He was unprotected; to not have his Pokémon safely at his command left him remarkably vulnerable in the deep of Viridian Forest.

“Hey, whoa, whoa, whoa… let’s be reasonable here! Do you want some food, or maybe a scarf? I’ll give you whatever you want, just don’t eat me!”

“Pkwah pkwah pkwah pkwah!” the Stag Beetle Pokémon retorted mindlessly, inching closer, its spiked pincers quivering.

“Yo, I give up! Mercy, mercy!” the boy whined, falling to his knees. “I don’t wanna fight, please let me goooooo!!”

It was a really dramatic moment. Ryan was about to die probably. What was going to happen next? Suddenly, as if on cue for this story to progress in a neat way, a green blur shot out of the undergrowth and sliced its way over to Pinsir, who grunted magnificently as he was hit by several quick blows.

There before Ryan, standing between him and the horrible bug that had been attempting to eat him (allegedly) was none other than a sharp-faced Scyther. Resolute as a milkshake in the microwave, swift as a coursing river, the Mantis Pokémon threw his weight at his foe, his sword arms swinging with long strokes.

That’s Scyther… the one I met in Pallet Town way back… it’s him again. I can’t believe it! “Scyther!” Ryan cried out happily. “Buddy!”

“Scyther scythe!” the Pokémon shrieked, beating his chest and pressing forward. As the Pinsir came in to attack, Scyther jumped into the air, ducking between branches and trees with the precision of a bug of the forest or something, and came back down upon Pinsir with a heavy blow. Aerial Ace. What a guy, Ryan thought in awe, his eyes sparkling like he was actually kawaii (he’s really not).

“You did it Scyther!”

“Scyther!” Scyther replied, as any Scyther would.

Naturally, as he had been defeated, the wild Pinsir suddenly disappeared and was never heard from again. It was real sad. But Ryan had always preferred Scyther over Pinsir. Back in the day, when samurai used to tread Viridian Forest in nothing but paper armor and wooden sandals, there had been more Pinsir love (according to that hot news woman on the tele) around these parts. But Ryan didn’t care about that. Scyther had blades for hands, so that instantly made him a wicked cool Pokémon, and besides Ryan had a history with this specific Scyther, although that is probably a less important point.

Nonetheless, Ryan beamed. “Nice work, Scyther. It’s been a while, how’ve you been?”

“Scyther scythe, scyther scythe.”

A bladed hand reached out, Ryan’s Poké Ball held gently on it. “Thanks. You saved me again, Scyther.”

“Scyther!” the Pokémon purred, moving closer so Ryan could scratch him behind the ear just like he often did with Alakazam.

How similar those two Pokémon were in personality Ryan duly noted. “So how’s Jun been?”

“Scyther!”

“Cool. I wish I could speak Scyther. Man, why didn’t Professor Oak install a Pokémon translator in the Pokédex? That would solve so many problems.”

“I am a learning computer,” Dex retorted. “But the languages of Pokémon is a mysterious and deep problem, not easily solved by humans. Even now, the experts of various species perhaps know only 40% of those various species’ communication abilities. Lance, for example, cannot speak Dragonite fully, despite spending most of his life raising and researching those Pokémon.”

“Okay, okay Dex. That was entirely unnecessary. Go back in my pocket!” the boy commanded.

The Pokédex did not reply; he much preferred it when it was in sleep mode.

Scyther jumped onto a branch, staring off into the dying sunlight. Trying to look like a badass. Can’t blame him with those sword arms. Ryan hated sunscreen, which was unfortunate, since he was a pasty little boy, and he would often get sunburnt from being in the sun for only a few minutes. But more than sunscreen, Ryan disliked the feeling of bug spray. He couldn’t exactly justify this uncomfortable feeling. It was like a slimy glove being laid over his skin, suffocating his freedom. The boy had no clue how other people could spray themselves with max repel or the like and not feel all weird and gross and such.

“Well, it was nice seeing you again, Scyther! Tell Jun I said ‘eyy brah what you do?’, alright? Thanks buddy!”

He tossed the Scyther a Pokétreat from his backpack; Scyther caught it easily without breaking from his pose. He was such a cool ‘mon in Ryan’s estimation. It was a shame he was stuck in this bug-infested forest with little to do but fight wild Pinsirs and go on dubious adventures with Jun.

Ryan was about to walk off, however, when Scyther let out a whistle, leaping from the branch and landing in front of him, blocking his path.

“Huh, what’s up boy?”

“Scyther scyther!”

“You want another treat? Alright, alright, here.”

“Scyther!” the Pokémon said earnestly after swallowing his second treat. His face was adamant in the evening light as he looked Ryan directly in the eyes. The boy shivered.

“What do you want? Is it Jun Baba-o? Is he stuck in a well again, buddy? What’s the matter?”

Scyther shook his head. “Scyther!”

“I don’t g–”

Impatiently, the Pokémon reached a sword-claw into the boy’s backpack, pulling out an Ultra Ball, and tossed it into the air. As the ball opened up, he hooted again, flying into the air and getting sucked in instantly. The ball landed soundlessly, glowing, in a pile of mud.

“Whoa… what the heck?!”

His fingers were tingling. His mind was racing. This was all to say that his body was trying, and failing madly, to prevent him from being overwhelmed by emotion. That was the last thing the boy had expected would happen.

“H-hey… Scyther, come back out…” His voice broke as he threw the ball, releasing Scyther again. “Buddy… you belong to Jun, you can’t…”

“Scyther!”

“Scyther?”

“Scyther scyther!” Scyther repeated. The sincerity in his tone was so unlike this Mantis Pokémon. Ryan couldn’t help but think Jun and Scyther had already discussed this.

“Well, I guess, um… okay, sure! I just sent Alakazam home, so you’re lucky! There’s an open spot on my team again.”

“Scyther!” Scyther grinned.

From the bush, a proper bushman, a man of the bush, a man amongst bushes, a man who’s gotten cozy with a bush or two in his life, a bushman if you will, popped his head out of said bushes and declared passionately: “It is done! The transaction is complete! Good day sir! Thank you, thank you.”

The bushman jumped back into the bushes to never be seen again. Immediately, Scyther’s body began to radiate light, his form contorting and shifting, and Ryan had to catch his breath to stop himself from freaking out. This was amazing, or at least mildly entertaining. You’d think by the third or fourth time, Ryan would have been able to control himself, but that is simply not the case. He is a boy of passions and laziness and as such, every time one of his Pokémon transforms, he must have an extreme emotional reaction, as embarrassing as that may be. It’s okay though–no one was around to see, so it’s not like it really happened.

A minute later, the light faded, and before Ryan was not the Mantis Pokémon, but a red-shelled, fierce predator, whose badassery made pride swell in Ryan’s throat and blurred his vision.

“Scizor, the Pincer Pokémon. Its body is like steel. Its tough, heavy pincers are more suited to smashing enemies than grabbing them.”

“Holy Frieza’s toenails, buddy… wow… You evolved just like that!”

“Scizor evolves when traded while holding a Metal Coat, oh wisest of masters. It appears that this Scizor was holding a Metal Coat when it was traded to you.”

“That would seem to be the case, yeah. Nice. Eyy brah, tank ya! Tank ya very much!”

Perhaps Jun was watching him from the bushes like all the quality bushmen, but he never appeared. He set it up. I wonder if he knew I was returning so soon, though. But no way he gave that Scyther a Metal Coat and had it approach me like that if he wasn’t planning on giving it to me… jeez, I gotta thank him real good when I see him next.

“Zor!” Scizor roared, beating his wings as he buzzed around the thick forest energetically before returning to Ryan.

“That’s the spirit, Scizor! Alright, let’s go. We’ve got a train to catch. You down for helping me defeat Pagan Kim?”

“Scize!”

“Woo baby, I like this kinda party! Bring it baby, woohoo!”

Scizor leapt into his ball right away. Ryan sprinted all the way back to Viridian City, hoping that another bug would not jump out from the tall grass or from the branches overhead to challenge him. But if any did, he had more than enough protection to deal with such pesky threats.


“Yo, Ryan, where were you?” Rahul asked impatiently outside the train station. He had a giant pretzel in his hands, covered in wax paper, that he was gnawing on.

“Sorry, my mom was texting me about some problems at home… Granddaddy Clefable’s causing a bit of a mess, it seems. He’s trying to declare himself God-Emperor of my parents’ house, and, well, that got my dad really mad. So I sent Alakazam back home to deal with him.”

“Dude, I can’t believe Granddaddy Clefable let you catch him! That’s my granddaddy we’re talking about!”

Kelly rolled her eyes. “Logan, stop it. Just stop. If you want to come to Kyrai with me, you’re going to have to stop it with that nonsense.”

He threw his hands up in embarrassment. “Alright, alright, sure. I give up.”

“So how much time until the train gets here?” Ryan asked obliviously.

Pointing to a hanging digital sign overhead, Kelly said slowly, “Thirty minutes, give or take. They usually run a bit slower than the time shows, though.”

“Man, we’ve still go so much time to kill. Hey… where’d Dean go, Alex?”

“Back to our summer home. It’s his turn to be Dishmaster Supreme.”

“It’s about time, dude. Seems like only you have to do that.”

“No, not really, although it’s my turn tomorrow, so I’m staying in town for that reason.”

“Proud of you, man.”

Annoyed by the inanity of this conversation, Rahul stepped forward and threw his wax paper to the ground at Alex’s feet, trying to be all cool and such (he wasn’t, not even a little). “Hey Alex, if we have another half-hour to kill, how about we do a Pokémon battle… a real one this time. I’ll use my real team–my best team–not the Kanto Pokémon I trained for the Indigo League. How about it?”

Alex shrugged. “Fine by me, I guess. But you’re going to be destroyed.”

“That’s what you think! But now… it’s time I became the master, Alex.”

“Fat chance.”

“Hey, I get it,” Logan muttered. “Bravo, Alex, bravo.”

“Go, Kotaro! U-Turn!”

“Galvantula, go get ‘em! Sticky Web!”

Kotaro the Greninja was a healthy-looking fellow, probably a dude who enjoyed seafloor bug meat once or twice a month. Of course Alex would try to upstage me. A significant part of his subconscious wanted Rahul to win now, if for no other reason than to steal back that thunder. Katagiri snored carelessly in Ryan’s backpack, and he couldn’t help but feel a little impotent.

Alex’s Greninja flung itself across the empty train station, spinning in the air and landing behind Rahul’s Galvantula, who looked just like a Galvantula or something, kicking it from behind. The attack devastated the spider ‘mon, making it fall to its belly hissing. Yet before Rahul’s EleSpider Pokémon could respond, Greninja was gone, having been returned to his Poké Ball. In his place was Alex’s favorite, Janitor the Excadrill.

It’s a little early to be sweeping, isn’t it? Galvantula shot a web around Janitor, but it didn’t get there fast enough (it’ll get Alex’s next ‘mon, promise). Before Excadrill could respond, Galvantula was attacking again, throwing itself forward and shooting off piercing sound waves that battered Alex’s ‘mon moderately. Excadrill responded with Rapid Spin, using its drills to cut through the webs around him, crashing into Galvantula, dealing even more damage.

“Janitor, return! Go, Shroomed!”

“I love shrooms, they’re so pretty and delicious!” Logan said sweetly.

“Bug Buzz him, Galvantula!” Rahul pointed, and again the big green spider began to whine shrilly, and Alex’s big mushroom-looking Pokémon was battered by the sound waves. Ryan agreed that Amoonguss was alright-looking, but he was slightly too stubby and thick for the boy’s tastes.

“Volt Switch!”

“Hidden Power!”

Galvantula released a torrent of electrical energy upon the blubbering Shroomed, instantly switching out with Rahul’s Aegislash. By the time Alex’s Mushroom Pokémon had weathered the attack and responded with a burst of fire of his own, it was this new opponent who was targeted. Flames washed over Aegislash, cooking him up good.

“Roast that floating sword thing, Alex!” Logan cried. “Melt it down to scrap metal!”

Kelly reprimanded him harshly. “That’s a little violent for this story, isn’t it Logan?”

“If you can’t take the heat, don’t step into the ring!!”

“Shroomed, return. Harry, it’s your turn!”

“Swords Dance!”

“Oh no, anything but that!” Logan shivered, looking away. “I hate it when they dance. Please, Rahul, no more, no more!”

Harry the Hippowdon was released onto the stage, bringing with him a sandstorm of moderate proportions, enough to send the resident train station trash into the air along with all the sand that had appeared out of nowhere. That was an excellent magic trick, Ryan thought.

Hippowdon next attempted an Earthquake attack, but Aegislash blocked it with a King’s Shield. Then, Rahul ordered a Sacred Sword attack, while Alex repeated the previous turn’s move. Aegislash came flying in, slicing at Harry, dealing significant damage in the process. The Hippowdon reeled, howling in pain, but was not finished. As Aegislash peeled back, the ground began to shake as a small Earthquake ripped through the station. The Royal Sword Pokémon absorbed the attack soundlessly and then, unexpectedly (at least to Ryan), fell to the ground, unconscious.

“Score one for Dishmaster Supreme!”

Rahul stroked his goatee angrily. “Starmie, it’s your turn. Scald!”

Alex instantly returned Hippowdon. “Shroomed, get back out there!”

The poor mushroom boy took a jet of scalding water right to the face, but it didn’t seem to do that much damage. The sandstorm spun about, doing minimal damage to both ‘mons.

Next, Shroomed attempted another Hidden Power, but Rahul switched out Starmie for his Dragonite first. The best dragon in the Pokéworld (suck it Xiao Bao) was brought into the battle and immediately got roasted, but didn’t seem to be damaged too severely by the attack. Even so, the sandstorm cut through both of them, doing additional damage to Amoonguss, despite him not taking any attacks head-on. Now, in Ryan’s estimation, the Mushroom Pokémon looked worn out.

Alex, of course, switched him just then, for the sandstorm had died. Harry the Hippowdon returned, and with him came a fresh sandstorm. Dragonite, despite taking damage from this, rose into the air, a reddish aura surrounding it, and began to fly about, gaining speed as it enacted Rahul’s command of Dragon Dance.

“Outrage!”

“Whirlwind!”

Dragonite came screaming down upon the Heavyweight Pokémon, hitting it hard, doing tremendous damage. Yet, Hippowdon took a giant breath, ignoring the pain, and created a magnificent whirlwind, which blew Dragonite away and somehow magically pulled a random Pokémon out of one of Rahul’s Poké Balls because that’s how whirlwinds work apparently.

Now there was a Ferrothorn floating in front of Hippowdon. “Return, Harry. Go, Perdition.”

“Stealth Rock, Ferro!”

Alex’s magnificent Typhlosion came onto the battle just before Rahul’s Ferrothorn threw a rock pretty stealthily across the train station. Nevertheless, Typhlosion took a face full of sand, hurting him a bit. But as soon as he had, the station grew bright and barren and the sunlight was piercing through!

“Eruption!”

“Get back out there, Starmie!”

Perdition’s body glowed with flames, and more flames, and then an absurd amount of flames, and suddenly a cape of smoke growing down the nape of his neck sprouted up out of nowhere. Going Mega already. Now this is getting interesting. As the spinning purple star Pokémon came out, it was hit by a geyser of surging flames the Typhlosion had spit out. That’s so cruel. Stupid Rahul. He’s done nothing this entire battle worth cataloguing or remembering.

As one would expect, such a massive attack indeed did massive damage, and Starmie struggled to rise after taking the Eruption right in the face jewel.

Then Perdition fled and was replaced by the Amoonguss again, who took another Scald to the face. It was a great battle, this. Ryan especially liked how everyone kept getting switched in only to be blasted unaware by some attack. Not to be outdone by Alex, Rahul decided to switch his Starmie for Dragonite again, only to be covered in the poisonous goop of a Sludge Bomb. Succumbing to the poison, Dragonite let out a cry of pain.

Then, in a shocking turn of events, Kotaro was switched in while Dragonite did a pretty little dance in the sky again.

“Outrage!”

“Rock Slide!”

Greninja was pretty fast. He was a fast boy, a real quickie. Despite Dragonite having just danced its socks off, the Ninja Pokémon was still too nimble. A bunch of boulders materialized over the Dragonite, coming down upon it like a collapsing cave ceiling, burying the Dragon Pokémon under a thick layer of rocks. Suffice to say, it was clear to all of them that Rahul had lost another Pokémon. Additionally, the sun faded just then, though this event was more hypothetically dramatic than anything else.

“Destroy him, Ferro!”

“Kotaro, return! Shroomed, it’s your turn.”

Poor Shroomed got Power Whipped hard as soon as he came back. Ryan couldn’t believe how much damage the mushroom was absorbing. He’s taking so much punishment. I’d hate to be that Amoonguss right now.

“Thunder Wave!”

“Hidden Power!”

Indeed, Shroomed was paralyzed good, and Ferro was cooked up a bit. That 4x weakness to fire gave the Thorn Pod Pokémon a moderate wound, and he was still sizzling and smoking after the fire had faded. Rahul’s cooked now. Time to serve him up, Alex.

“Hidden Power again!”

“Ferro, come back! Go, Feraligatr!”

Rahul’s wonderful Feraligatr, his favoritest Pokémon in the world, absorbed the fire attack easily, taking almost no damage from it. His body enwrapped in light, the Feraligatr transformed into its Mega form, growing spiky bits on his elbows, elongating and sharpening his snout, growing taller and thicker, and of course growing several roof shingles on his knees (for the Beedrills’ sake). It was pretty cool.

Then he did a Dragon Dance of his own, despite not even being a dragon. Amoonguss responded by shooting green tendrils of energy at him, sucking away some health with Giga Drain. After the red-pink aura faded, Feraligatr looked mighty pissed. Alex called for a second Giga Drain, but Amoonguss was slower than Ryan’s dad at getting up in the morning to feed his Rapidash. Feraligatr’s fangs were aglow when two ice-white daggers of energy shot from them, hitting Amoonguss hard.

The mushroom dropped, and it was four versus five.

“Woo baby, now that’s what I’m talking about!” Ryan cheered. “Don’t give up, Rahul!”

Logan pushed Ryan out of the way. “Give up, Rahul! Come on, it’s easy! You know you like to take it easy!”

“Not bad,” Alex said. “Fine, let’s do this. Harry, go! Whirlwind!”

Once again, the Hippowdon came onto the stage, causing a sandstorm to pick up again. Feraligatr looked none too pleased even as he was slightly damaged by the storm. Coolly, he conjured a wave of water and rode that Waterfall all the way over to Harry, crashing into him, and sending him to the ground unconscious.

“Woohoo! Great job, big man!”

“He’s still done for,” Kelly muttered. “His other Pokémon aren’t doing so well compared to Alex’s.”

“Don’t be a hater, Kelly.”

“Don’t be an idiot, Ryan,” Logan snapped. “Rahul’s lost.”

“Not yet he hasn’t!”

“Now let’s take that Feraligatr down, Janitor!” Alex shouted, throwing his next Poké Ball. “Earthquake!”

“Waterfall!”

Alas, the Excadrill was faster. The ground rumbled and shook and Feraligatr was shook up real good. When he collapsed, his eyes swirling, his snout askew, his arms thrown back, it was clear that he was unconscious.

“Destroy that annoying sand mole, Ferro! Power Whip!”

“Earthquake.”

Again, Excadrill was faster, but this time, his attack didn’t OHKO Rahul’s ‘mon, though the sands blew about all dramatically and such. Ferro weathered the attack poorly, it must be said, losing the majority of his remaining health, but regardless, after the Earthquake had finished, the Grass Pokémon floated forward and gave Excadrill a powerful whip with his spiked arm. The Subterrene Pokémon was a brittle fellow, bless his drills, and was knocked unconscious at once.

“See, how about that, huh?! Great job, Rahul! You’re halfway there!”

“Yeah, okay, settle down, Ryan,” the big man said, patting his belly professionally.

“Why? You gotta have a champion’s heart if you wanna win.”

Out came Perdition, and with him the sun, burning arid and bright. Though he stumbled on that rock that had been left behind very stealthily, the Volcano Pokémon was nevertheless in robust health. “Fire Blast!”

“Galvantula, now!”

Ryan felt goosebumps spread across his arms. “Oh, that’s why.”

The EleSpider Pokémon didn’t even have a chance. Galvantula was knocked unconscious within two seconds of being brought out.

Next was Starmie’s turn. Luckily for Rahul, Starmie was faster than Typhlosion. Unluckily for him, Starmie lacked the firepower to do much to Typhlosion. Even with a decent Scald attack, Alex’s ‘mon was left with enough health to easily finish off Rahul’s with a single Solar Beam. The energy glowing faintly yellow in front of Typhlosion’s mouth, it pooled into an energy beam before being fired mercilessly at the battered Mysterious Pokémon.

Now it was down to Ferrothorn, who suffered from a 4x weakness to Typhlosion’s type and was hecka slow. It was over. This next turn was just a formality.

“Thunder Wave!” Rahul called desperately.

“Fire Blast, Perdition. End this.”

Indeed, Perdition did. He roasted Ferro up real good, and that was that.

They gave Alex a smattering of applause.

“Not bad, Alex, not bad,” Rahul sighed, his voice ever cheerful, returning his last Pokémon before throwing several Poké Dollars at the foe who had defeated him (as is customary in battles of this magnitude).

Alex folded his arms. “Yeah, well, that was a decent battle.”

“I can’t believe your Greninja outsped my Dragonite. That guy’s OP, Alex. Like, are you serious? I even had him Dragon Dance.”

Alex shrugged in a bored way. OP, eh? One day we’ll get there, buddy, Ryan thought, feeling the weight and warmth of Katagiri on his back. The sun was sinking behind the station. It was getting cold. He looked up and noticed that on the digital departures board the next train to Kalos was slated to arrive in one minute. The sleeping Katagiri shifted his weight lazily, snoring bubbles.

His eyes met Kelly’s. He felt her anxiousness from all the distance between them like an invisible Giga Drain peeling back the layers one at a time.


The train eased into the station with an earsplitting screeching sound. Ryan covered his ears, aghast at the fact that no one else even bothered. Were his more sensitive, or was he just a wimp? Probably both.

“Well, this is it. We better get going. The train’ll only stop for a minute or two,” Kelly cautioned them. “Don’t forget your tickets, you two.”

“Right! Alright then, see ya Alex, see ya Rahul, later!” Logan said boisterously, following Kelly into the train.

Ryan pivoted and gave the big man a big hug. “It’s okay, Rahul. You’ll get him next time.”

“Yeah, yeah.”

“Keep up the good work, brah, and remember to eat lots of rare candies.”

“Ooooookay, Ryan. Later,” Rahul said, rolling his eyes.

Next, he walked over to Alex. “After we’re done with Pagan Kim, I’ll come visit you in Sinnoh. Alright? We’ll play some Poké Smash, and you’ll destroy me and it’ll be the best thing ever.”

“Oh okay,” said Alex.

“Ryan, come on, it’s about to leave!” Kelly called from the train door.

So impatient. So domineering. What a gal. “Yeah, uh, anyways… thanks for all your help, man. I couldn’t have won the Indigo League without you.”

“No problem. Maybe one day you’ll become a moderately decent trainer.”

“Maybe, but that’s doubtful, Alex. Anyways, see ya man.”

He gave Alex a big hug too before walking off. At the train car’s door, the teal-haired boy suddenly spun around and called out to Alex, who had been walking off with Rahul. Surprised, Alex turned just in time to catch what Ryan had tossed to him from across the station.

“Ryan… you… this is… Wa-wait a second…”

Ryan winked. “Thanks for all the help, dude. Bye for now!”

The door shut with an artificial puff of air, and a moment later, the train lurched forward, gaining speed rapidly. Ryan stood at the door, watching his friends disappear in a blur of light and sound, the purple of the Master Ball held in Alex’s hand etched like a light-wound in Ryan’s mind when he next closed his eyes.

Episode 2: Shangri-La

When the train came out of the long tunnel, everything was snow. For some reason, the Kyrai Station was empty. Moreover, Ryan, Kelly, and Logan were the only three passengers who disembarked there.

There was no one to greet them, no one out in the streets. Everything was covered in snow as far as the eye could see. Outside of the station, past the automatic ticket booths, several stores were lined up in neat, white-strung rows. Further down the road was a small collection of what looked like houses, and beyond that, at the very end of the road, a castle hewn from the ice wall jutting out from the side of the mountain that was so monolithic, its peak was obscured by fog.

Kyrai was a frozen, miserable place, small as one of the towns in the Sevii Islands, but so much more bleak. Ryan guessed that no more than a few dozen people lived here. Why did Pagan Kim choose to live here? Was it because there aren’t any Officer Jennys around to keep him in check? Maybe he just really likes the cold. He’s a weirdo, so anything’s possible.

Outside the desolate station, they were approached by three men wearing thick white fur jackets with the hoodies pulled up. The leader raised his gloved hand to halt them.

“Who goes there?”

Kelly led the boys over to them. “Are you the station agent?”

“I am Fifteen, and this is–”

“Whoa, you don’t look a day over sixty-two,” Ryan said in awe. “The cold really ages a person, huh?”

He gave Ryan a look that one would give a Pidgey scrounging through trash. “That is my rank, as a royal guard of Emperor Kimothy. I am the fifteenth of his thirty guards.” The man patted the emblem of what looked like the silhouette of a pillow ghost on his breast, the number 15 displayed in electric pink below it.

“Emperor?”

“That is correct. Emperor Kimothy, peace be upon him, rules the territory of Kyrai, and unless you have brought with you documentation explaining why you have come here, I’m afraid you’ll have to leave.”

His beard was greying in some places, and his teeth were a little too yellow. His companions wore the numbers 28 and 24.

“If that Kimothy guy’s an emperor, how come he only has thirty guards?”

“We ask that you please bear with us during these trying times,” one of the guards replied in monotone.

“Kyrai is an extremely small territory with few resources,” Fifteen continued, “but the emperor has come up with a plan to overcome that. Just you wait. We are doing all we can to mine this town dry.”

“I can’t wait, I’m impatient,” Ryan complained. “And besides, what happened to his summer home in Kanto?”

“That’s classified.”

“I distinctly remember a mama Kangaskhan punting your emperor into the sky. He flew almost as good as a drunk Ho-Oh.”

“Why you little… that’s, that’s… heresy! Nobody speaks of Emperor Kimothy like that. You’re under arrest.”

“No thank you, we’re fine,” Logan said with a bow.

Why’s he gotta be so formal? Frickin’ nerds, man. “If we beat you, will you run off into the distance and never appear again?”

Fifteen turned to his lackeys, and their mutterings were swallowed by the gusting frost winds blowing harshly through the empty town. Ryan shivered. He hadn’t packed very much for this little excursion, and now he was regretting his minimalist tendencies massively. Being a stick figure of sorts, his toes were already half-frozen, and the hoodie he’d chosen to wear just wasn’t cutting it. The longer they remained out in the open, the worse it would get.

So, not waiting for an answer, Ryan nodded to Kelly and pulled out a Poké Ball. Logan caught on too, which was surprising to say the least.

Fifteen returned, rubbing his gloves together as if he were trying to stabilize this numb and unpleasant dream. “Alright, we’ll do i–”

“Go Scizor!”

Ryan pegged that old dude in the mouth. Swearing and spitting, but alas not losing even one of those rotten teeth, Fifteen staggered back only for his men to catch him.

“Go ‘Aichu!”

“Okinaro, let’s get ‘em!”

Twenty-Four was a husky lad, a lad with big ears and dry blond hair. “We carry only a single Pokémon apiece so that we are easily defeatable and any battles we engage in with various pedestrians and scalliwags will never become overly tedious.”

He released a Sableye, while Twenty-Eight let loose a Croagunk; Fifteen, who was probably a decent quality opponent, showed off a bit when he did a pose on his knees before releasing his Barbaracle.

“Whoa Ryan, where’d you get that Scizor?! He’s so cool!”

“Oh yeah, he’s the Scyther who helped us stop a rampaging herd of Tauros in Pallet Town. That was before we met you, Logan. I found him in the Viridian Forest… or, I guess, he found me again. He wanted to come along.”

“Your journey ends here!” Fifteen swore.

The teal-haired boy cringed. “Not a chance, brah. I’m the protagonist of this story. That would be too anticlimactic, you idiot. Don’t you have any idea how to tell a good story?”

“Like this: Barbaracle, use Ancient Power.”

‘Aichu and the Sableye darted at one another, while Okinaro the Ice Vulpix and the Croagunk circled each other, exchanging gunk and frost. That left the Collective Pokémon for Ryan’s Scizor. Alright, let’s see if Jun’s been trainin’ you, boy.

“Bullet Punch, Scizor!”

A streak of red cut through the air, and Barbaracle staggered back, howling in pain. Lighting exploded through the air as ‘Aichu went Mega and sent the enemy Sableye skidding into a pile of snow that had collected at the edge of the street. On the other side of him, Okinaro, wrapped up in a self-conjured Blizzard, had frozen Croagunk solid, forcing Twenty-Eight, a blue-faced, slender girl, to recall him begrudgingly.

Glowing, Barbaracle’s attack formed into a sphere before his hands. Without touching it, the Pokémon threw the blast at Scizor. In an explosion of light, the attack hit, rattling the Pincer Pokémon, but not hurting him too bad. Dang tankies. You won’t assimilate us, na na na na na na.

“You know what to do,” Ryan told Scizor after his Pokémon had recovered from the blow.

“Zor!”

This next Bullet Punch split the air; Barbaracle was thrown back, making a snow angel in the street as he fell over unconscious, his arms thrust out stupidly.

“Emperor Kimothy will have your heads for this!” Fifteen screamed.

The three teenagers directed their Pokémon forward. The guards were completely defenseless now. If they’re guards, why are they so useless? Why not just have Pokémon be your guards. Pagan Kim’s kinda dumb if he’s paying these scrubs to protect him. Twenty-four slipped on an ice patch. The others ran off down the road, leaving him behind. Luckily for him, Ryan and the gang were the goodest people in the whole wild world and they would never take prisoners unless they had a pair of handcuffs (but Logan had lost Ryan’s pair somewhere on one of the Sevii Islands).

They were alone again. On the horizon, all the mountains were unfurled like the teeth of giants. Hidden behind a veil of dark clouds, the sun could hardly warm this frigid town. How could anyone live here? I can’t stand this place and I’ve only been here five minutes!

“There!” Kelly said, pointing down the road. “That’s his mansion. We have to get in there somehow.”

It was protected by twenty-foot icy walls. The castle was part of the mountain itself, its parapets and towers rising through the fog, their tips concealed.

“But how? All his other guards are going to be waiting for us in there!”

“So what? We dealt with those three pretty easily.”

“He has twenty-seven more of ‘em. We can’t be sure we’ll be able to take out all of their Pokémon. Plus, we have to face Pagan himself, and the last time I ran into him, he swore he had a Zapdos at his command.”

“No way, that’s so cheap!”

“Legendaries ruin everything,” Ryan agreed. “Whoever thinks using them against regular ‘mons is a just edge is a proper div. Cheap cheap cheap!”

“Oh hello there girl and boys,” a man said suddenly, walking up from behind them. He was twirling a lanyard and whistling to himself. Wearing a Rattata-looking suit, an unbuttoned overcoat, and dark sunglasses, one would assume this guy was a detective or a banker or possibly a movie star, but we won’t get into that. “Look at you shivering,” he laughed to himself, pointing and giggling bizarrely at Ryan. He laughed as if he were coughing, as if he was not experiencing a moment of humor, but suffering a violent fit of bodily movements he could not control. His face was wrinkled and flat as an Onix’s, his hair slicked back because he was cool. “Shivering in the cold, hahaha! Combusken, boy, you’re just a little Combusken! Hahaha, cheep cheep cheep!” He flapped his arms up and down as if mimicking a Young Fowl Pokémon. “Cheeeep cheep cheep cheep cheep cheeeep cheeeeeeeeeeeeep!!”

As the man flapped wildly about, a live Combusken fell out of his suit and went scurrying down the road.

“Hey, Scizor, stop that little guy!”

“You’re not good,” the man sang in a sarcastic tone, stepping up to face Ryan. “You… you’re just a Combusken! Cheep cheep chee–”

That was when Logan slugged the guy with a snowball. He went down like a sack of pennies, cheeping wildly as the darkness called to him.

“What the heck is wrong with that dude?”

The other boy shrugged. “He was pretty chill, though.”

“Shut up, Logan.”

“Should we just leave him here? It’s getting pretty cold out…”

“Yeah, I’m not going to touch him. Now, that Combusken on the other hand…”

“Combusken, the Young Fowl Pokémon. Combusken toughens up its legs and thighs by running through fields and mountains. This Pokémon's legs possess both speed and power, enabling it to dole out 10 kicks in one second.”

“Now that’s hardcore! I really want a baller like this little guy on my team.”

It was charging down the street, flames around its body, as it rammed into Scizor, sending him flying into the air, crying out in pain. Curses. Fire is super effective against Bug. I don’t have many Fire Pokémon… and none on my team right now. I could use this guy. He’ll evolve into a Blaziken, won’t he?

“Bullet Punch him, quick, buddy!”

Weary though he was, Scizor obeyed swiftly, knocking the Combusken back with a fast-as-light lunge-punch. The little Fire ‘mon let out a cry of pain. I can’t let him faint. He’ll disappear for good if that happens!

“Ultra Ball, I choose you!”

The cheeping Combusken was sucked inside, squirming around for a while before breaking free.

“Hey, Scizor, go up into the air. That way he won’t be able to charge you! That Combusken’s wings aren’t big enough for him to fly yet.”

“Personally, I prefer the air,” Logan muttered ambivalently.

Ryan scoffed. “I was the one who saved you from him, fool!”

Kelly’s fingers were pressed against the bridge of her nose.

“The past is the past, and don’t you forget it.”

Oh, I won’t, Logan. Trust me on that. Next time you come begging for me to buy you another candy bar, see what happens.

Nonetheless, Ryan’s tactic proved to be a stroke of genius. The Combusken performed another Flame Charge, but when Scizor buzzed into the air, the little guy just went skidding under him, completely missing.

“They don’t teach you that at Smogon University!” Ryan declared before whipping out another Ultra Ball.

This one hit Combusken on the beak before sucking it in. The ball wiggled back and forth several times, but eventually, its resistance was broken.

“Nice one, Ryan.”

“Woo baby, I got me a Combusken!!”

The ball glowed white and vanished. Dang… I want to see what Combusken can do. I’ll switch him in at the next Pokémon Center.

“Can we go now?” Kelly asked. “Look, that convenience store is open,” she said, pointing to a tucked-away building down the road to the left. Its neon ‘Open’ sign was indeed on, the ‘n’ flickering off and on every few seconds. Next to it, an ancient, shabby building, covered in snow, stood passive and dark. It was eerie seeing life and death existing in such close proximity to one another. “We can check into the hotel later. Let’s stock up on some supplies before we infiltrate the mansion, okay? Maybe the person working there can give us some pointers, too…”

“Fine, fine, yeah let’s go,” Ryan shivered. “Hopefully they sell gortex jackets there. Man, I’m so cold. How are you guys not freezing?”

“It’s not that cold, Ryan. When I was a little boy, Granddaddy Clefable would leave me out all night in nothing but m–”

Not this crap again. “Okay, okay, enough of that. Let’s go. We’re following you, Kelly.”

She smirked ever so slightly, biting her upper lip, and he was glad that when she turned away to lead them on, the pink-haired girl couldn’t see him blushing.


The door jingled when it opened.

“Sup,” Logan cried out nonchalantly, stepping inside first, as he was the lemming of the group and if there were any booby traps inside, he’d be by far the least significant person to lose. To think he came all this way and Alex and Rahul weren’t even part of the story anymore. Makes everyone cry (please try to cry tears of milk and ivory instead and you’ll see why).

“Aah, please, no more, mercy, I’ll have your money by the weekend!” the store owner shrieked in response.

“Groovy baby, it’s almost the weekend,” Ryan said slick as a Persian draped in velvet, laterally clicking his tongue.

Kelly was the only jive Fearow in this joint who seemed concerned. “Huh, hang on, what’s up? Miss, are you okay?”

The shopkeep was an elderly lady with a crooked nose and thick, meaty jowls. She looked a bit like a Linoone, which would have sent Charlie into a tizzy had he been here, but sometimes when you expect people to be protagonists they only end up being Pete Best. She wore a lavender fur parka with the hood pulled up, although it wasn’t particularly cold inside.

“Oh… you’re just kids!”

“Whoa, whoa now, lady. We’re teenagers… we’re nearly adults!” Ryan corrected her.

“I mistook you for Emperor Kimothy’s royal guards… please excuse me, you three. We don’t get many visitors in Kyrai.”

“Nah we’re just…” Logan glanced at Kelly, “um, tourists, yeah.”

“Well, then, what’ll ya have?” the woman asked awkwardly.

“You sell gortex here?”

“It’s in the back.”

Ryan went to the back, as he likes to do, and found the heavy coat rack as she had told him. Not thinking too much, he grabbed the first jacket he could find and returned to the counter, only to find Logan and Kelly in deep conversation with the elderly hominid.

The leader of their group incidentally had pink hair. “That mansion’s his, isn’t it?”

“Oh yes. Mr. Kimothy lives there with all his guards.”

“If we were to, uh, go visit him, how would we go about that?”

The old Zubat’s eyes grew wide. “Oh, my dear, don’t talk such poppycock. You can’t do that! The emperor never allows any visitors on his compound. None at all!”

“What about the walls? Could we get over them? Does he have security cameras?”

“Who did you say you are again?”

“We’re tourists from Kanto, promise,” Ryan said, placing his new jacket on the counter. Slick. I like it.

“Well, no one gets in or out without a passkey,” the woman replied. “And only his guards carry those.”

“Curses, that would’ve been good to know.”

“Why is that, dear?”

Ryan was not sure if he could trust this lady, so he decided not to. “Eh, it’s nothing. This’ll be all, by the way.”

“That’ll be two thousand Poké Dollars.”

Two thousand?!

“Yeah, that’s right. If you can’t pay, you’re out of luck, as I’m the only store in Kyrai, heheh.”

“Oh, stop whining, Ryan,” Logan snapped. “It’s not like you can’t afford it. You got loads of money for winning the Indigo League.”

“Eh? Is that so?” The woman gave Ryan a look that made him feel slightly uncomfortable, but since he didn’t focus on the emotion, it quickly left him.

“Nah, Logan’s just talking some bigtime nonsense. Sorry about that, he’s a bit odd. Anyways, um, you’re super lucky it’s cold as heck here, otherwise, I wouldn’t have paid half that for a stupid jacket!”

But pay up he did. Logan and Kelly, having packed for the snow, only bought some candy and orange juice respectively. It was quiet in there, with nothing but the dull hum of the artificial lights and howling winds beating against the door competing in ambience. They were about to leave when the ancient store owner spoke up again:

“Hey now, I must mention, there’s a cash reward for anyone who can figure out why the Yukiotoko River has stopped running… It usually comes down from the peak of the mountain range just north of town. My old bones won’t be able to make the trip, I fear. That river provides most of this town its water, so if any of you travelers get the chance… well, please go take a look, and see if you can find out what the matter is. We’ve been living off snow in recent months, and that is no way to live at all.” She stuck her tongue out, mock-retching.

“We will!” Logan replied earnestly, his eyes alight with the thrill of adventure. He’s the worst. Doesn’t he know we have better things to do than play recon for these people? Kelly’s mother’s secret item is locked away in that mansion! We have priorities, man.

Kelly hurriedly ushered them out the door, her impatience nakedly plastered upon her face. “Sure, sure, sure, if we see anything, we’ll let you know. Maybe a tree fell over and blocked the path. We’ll check it out if we get the chance.”

“Thankee, thankee, children! Stay warm out there! Don’t get caught out in a storm!”

The woman waved at them as they left, and Ryan got the sneaking, sad idea that she didn’t get many customers around these parts, even counting the locals. By her expressions and tone of voice, she seemed very lonely, broken, glued back together, functional, but not living optimally. I probably paid her a whole year’s salary with this jacket! I wonder if she always wanted to be a convenience store owner in the middle of nowhere. Was that her dream? It couldn’t have been. He did have to admit, however, after wrapping it around his shoulders, that it was a cozy jacket, an excellent jacket, a beautiful jacket, just the best. It was a dark shade of blue and it squeaked every time he moved his arms. That would become extremely annoying very quickly, but we’ll never mention it again, as that would be repetitive.

“So if we can’t get into the mansion without a passcode, we’ve gotta find more of Pagan’s soldiers. I’m sure they’re patrolling the town.”

Nary a person could be seen up or down the road.

“Or Pagan himself. Most of his guards will be inside the mansion, knowing him. The rest would be with him, if he’s not in there right now.”

“But how would we know if he isn’t?”

“I don’t know, Logan, ask someone!”

Easier said than done. Quite cozy, Ryan didn’t mind taking a bit of a walk to explore town, however. Kelly too thought this was a good idea, and Logan was never a contrarian, so they went off down the snow-covered road, searching for anyone at all. It was snowing lightly, and their breath frosted before their faces. Logan’s cheeks and nose had gone pink from the cold, but Kelly’s countenance had hardly succumbed. Ryan couldn’t even feel his nose, let alone his ears. This place was rad. No wonder only twenty-one people live here, the teal-haired boy thought, passing the Kyrai population sign further down the road. Guess that number doesn’t count Pagan’s guards. He must’ve imported ‘em.

Aside from the convenience store, two or three restaurants, an undermanned Pokémon Center (which they stopped at briefly so Ryan could add his Combusken to his active team for the heck of it, as well as officially register his Scizor's name as Vorian, Sword of the Evening), and several stretches of desolate-looking houses, there was little to see. Sure, Pagan Kim’s mansion was located ahead, taking up an absurd amount of real estate, its stone walls kingly and imposing compared to the frozen wooden boards, like spaced teeth, laid before the other houses. The northern gate leading who knows where was just beyond it.

The teenagers reached the northern gate, just beyond the emperor’s manse, having not run into a single person or Pokémon on the way. This place was a wasteland. Who’d want to be king here? Sucks he got kicked out of Kanto. He could’ve done big things there. Look at him now.

“They’re all inside. We should check into the hotel and try again tomorrow.”

She shook her head vigorously. “No, there’s daylight left to burn. Maybe we’ll run into another group of guards, or–”

Ryan bumped into the girl who had stopped dead in her tracks. “Huh? What is it?”

“There…! Look, just beyond the gate. In the tall grass…”

“Ooh, ooh, is it a Legendary?”

“No, you idiot. There’s a guy… no, wait, two of them! Come on!”

Logan’s voice rose. “Oh my gosh, you two… do you know who they are?! Oh my gosh!”

Ryan hated it when Logan got excited. Every single time, it resulted it in a big letdown. “No idea.”

“That’s… oh my, oh my…!” Logan screeched giddily as they fast-walked over to the ice-covered grass. “That’s Kneelin-In-Da-Grass Tyson! Oh, and it’s Michio Kaku with him! I love those guys! They’re real scientists! They make science cool for scrubs like you and Kelly!”

He went racing off towards them.

“Oh no.” Kelly facepalmed. “Not that old man again.”

“It’s a good thing Alex isn’t here,” Ryan remarked. “He didn’t understand Mr. Kaku at all, bless his tiny little heart. You’d think he’d have been head-over-heels to run into a Professor from Smogon University.”

“Even though he’s an incredibly popular theoretical physicist, Alex somehow didn’t know about him at all.” Kelly nodded robotically. “That is weird. Really weird.”

“When one spends all of one’s time playing Pokérim and practicing how to twirl yo-yos for an audience of middle-aged Asian parents, there isn’t time to learn about Professor Kaku, Kelly, gosh!”

Logan reached the men who were simply standing (although Tyson was probably kneeling, to put it more accurately), in the tall grass. Ryan could smell the max repel from where he was. “Mr. Kaku, Mr. Kaku! Hello, hello, hello! I’m Logan, your biggest fan!”

“Aaughaaaah!” Kaku screamed, falling over and making a horribly asymmetrical snow angel. “Stop assaulting me!”

“I-I’m not… what?”

“Hahah,” Michio Kaku grunted humorlessly, adjusting his collar as he sat up. “Well, in one hundred years, there will be all sorts of new and wondrous nanotechnology that would appear like magic to us, just like computers and the smartphones in your pockets would appear to be magical devices to cavemen.”

“Hi, Professor Kaku, I’m Logan. Did you ever get those thirty-seven letters I sent you?”

“Ummm, oh, ahah, well, Newtonian Determinism says that the universe is a clock–a gigantic clock that’s wound up at the beginning of time, and it’s been ticking ever since, according to Newton’s laws of motion.” He ended every sentence by slowing down and staring sharply in various directions, probably looking for the camera that wasn’t there, alas, but never at Logan. “So… what you’re going to eat ten years from now on January 1st has already been fixed!” He smiled to himself, and his wrinkles seemed to smile back. “It’s already known using Newton’s laws of motion. Einstein believed in that. Einstein was a determinist!”

“Oh boy, looks like we’ve got a badass over here,” Kneelin-In-Da-Grass muttered to himself, throwing his hands in the air like he just don’t care.

Old man Kaku was smiling. He was really getting into the groove now that he had an audience. His eyes narrowed and he seemed to be enjoying a fine wine, or at least sitting on a very thick icicle, given his neat facial gestures. “So does this mean a murderer–this horrible mass murderer–isn’t really guilty of his works, ‘cause it was already pre-ordained billions of years ago? Einstein said, ‘Well, yeah, in some sense, that’s true. Even mass murderers were predetermined. But,’ he said, ‘they should still be placed in jail!’”

And oh did the theoretical physicist laugh and laugh and he was having a right good time of it all.

“Mhm,” Tyson grunted, digging his fingers into the hard earth, creating little worm holes for the worms that don’t exist because the only animals in this world are Pokémon. “People don’t think the universe be like it is, but it do.”

As if he was not paying attention in the slightest, Professor Kaku continued, “Heh, anyways, Heisenberg then comes along and proposes the Heisenberg uncertainty principle and says, ‘Nonsense! There’s uncertainty. You don’t know where the electron is. It could be here, here, or many places simultaneously.’” He was pointing all over the place like a madman, like one of those guys you find locked in a pillory, like a Mega Charizard a few PP short of a Solar Beam. “This, of course, Einstein hated because he said, ‘Tajiri doesn’t play dice with the universe!’ Well, hey, get used to it!” he chuckled humorlessly again. He laughs but he’s not actually laughing. What the heck? Is that how I’m going to become when I’m old and senile? “Einstein was wrong! Tajiri does play dice!”

Tyson agreed, nodding his head obnoxious as a Seel. “He lost about tree fiddy playin’ dice, that’s what they tell me, that’s all they tell me.”

“Great, cool, nice! So, uh, what’re you rock stars of science doing out here?” Logan asked them, as a fanboy would.

“Oh, nothing too serious, we’re just speculating about the technology of the future,” Kaku pined. “One hundred years from now, there won’t even be flesh-and-bone Pokémon. Everyone will be a different type of Porygon.”

“It is known,” his comrade spoke solemnly.

“Yeah that’s cool and all, but have either of you seen a guy called Pagan Kim, or any of his followers around these parts?” Ryan butted in.

“Pagan Kim? The name does not ring a bell, unfortunately.”

Kneelin-In-Da-Grass got up and began to dance as if to some slow jazz, or maybe classical screamo. “Ah yes, yes, Pagan Kim. I’ve heard of him. Haven’t we all? The crazy Emperor dude. Mr. Pen-pointing McGee. The big Kakuna. That guy you ripped off from that game that’s just the sequel of a sequel of a sequel.”

Ryan liked this guy a lot better than the other guy. “Yes, exactly! Have you seen him anywhere?”

“He went up the mountain about an hour ago with his entourage. They should be back by the weekend.”

“But it’s Wednesday,” Kelly interjected.

“What is today but yesterday’s Thursday?”

“They’re going to be like this the whole time. We have to just ignore them,” Ryan whispered in the girl’s ear.

“Yeah, whatever, Rye.” She raised her voice to speak to the two bumbling, fur-coat-wearing scientist dudes. “What’s Pagan doing up there? Does he have another base up there? And how many guards did he take with him?”

Tyson threw his hands into the air and made another face. He doesn’t care whatsoever.

“Say, Dr. Tyson, what do you think about the theory that Clefairy and Clefable are from Alpha Centauri?”

“Pfff!” The man gave them the wild eyes, looking around as if for an audience to applaud his incredulity. “Just because they’re Pokémon, that doesn’t mean they’re aliens. I mean, come on now, this… this… this isn’t science fiction!” He got loud as Lugias in mating season, waving his arms around like Derny Sandcastle playing the bongos. “Just because we don’t know where they come from doesn’t mean they come from Alpha Centauri.”

“But, I mean, they told me they did.”

“They?”

“Well, Granddaddy Clefable did, if you want me to be specific.”

“Is this boy… is he with you?”

“Yeah, that’s right,” Ryan replied casually.

“You should get him checked out. I don’t think he’s right in the head.”

“That’s the first sensible thing you’ve said since we met you, sir.”

“Well, I’m honored, thanks.” Kneelin-In-Da-Grass bowed and knelt once again in the grass.

The boy with ice-blue eyes flushed with anger or embarrassment, or maybe it was just cold as heck and time to get inside (Ryan wouldn’t know since his outstanding gortex jacket was keeping him toasty as a Magmar in Mount Ember. “Hey, whoa, whoa, whoa, don’t slander me! I can speak Clefairy, look! Clefairy fairy fairy. Fairy clefairy clefairy. Clefairy. Fairy fairy fairy. Clefairy clefairy clefairy fairy clefairy clefairy fairy.”

Tyson scratched his mustache. “Mhm. I see, I see. Well, all I have to say to that is Clefable fable.”

Logan gasped, covering his mouth. “Ry-ryan… he just called me a-a-a…”

Kaku cleared his throat and adjusted his tie for an awkward length of time. “When I look at myself in a mirror, I say to myself, what I’m looking at is not really me. It ‘looks’ like me, but it’s not really me at all. It’s not me today, now–it’s me a billionth of a second ago, cause it takes a billionth of a second for light to go from me to the mirror and back.”

He smiled warmly at them, pointing to his cranium. His flowing white locks would make a yeti proud.

“Hi, Mr. Kaku, I’m Ryan. Remember us? Kelly and I met you in Kanto… in the Viridian Forest. And then we ran into you in Pewter City a few months back.”

He squinted at them like a Growlithe eyeing a Doduo. “Hah, well,” he chuckled humorlessly, “so you asked a simple question: invisibility… just decades away we will have something resembling ‘arry Potta’s invisibility cloak. Something equally astonishing is, ahyeueueuehmhm, shapeshifting.” He leaned in and winked, though he was looking at none of them. “When you see science fiction movies like–”

“Okay, thanks, you were a big help, later,” Ryan interrupted, running over to Logan and whispering in his ear, “I’m gonna leave you here if you don’t come on.”

“Alright, alright, I was just trying to bond a little with my idols!”

Kelly too had run over. “Enough with the idolatry, Logan. Let’s find Pagan and end this.”

“Okay, sheesh! Well, I gotta go, Professor Kaku. Are you staying in town?”

“The what now?”

“Kyrai. I mean, are you spending some time here to continue your research?”

“What research?”

“Y-your… um, nevermind.” Ryan and Kelly’s stares were hitting him like daggers. He melted before their gazes. “I have to go, so, um, see ya later! I love you!”

Michio Kaku, for all his teeth, merely smiled vaguely and looked for the cameras again. “Vaya con huevos,” he said with a wave.

“Pfff… I mean, heh, tss, heh, these aren’t aliens, kid!” Kneelin-In-Da-Grass Tyson added. “For all we know, Clefairy are just Ultra Beasts from another dimension.”

“Ah yes, the Ultra Beasts of another dimension,” Kaku began, clearing his throat again.

They were off through the falling snow. Not a single one of them wore snowshoes, so scaling the mountain would be difficult if not impossible at present. Luckily, Ryan owned a Dragonite, who, although she was weak to ice, wasn’t in a battle currently, so that kind of stuff could never be taken into consideration.

Seeing Thurnax’s orange frame amongst all the white and black and dreary, glassy blue gave Ryan some measure of comfort. They hopped on and, on Kelly’s command, were off, shooting up the mountain as if in mockery of all that falling snow.


There was a door in the side of the mountain, inconspicuous as a Wartortle pretending to be a stand-up comedian. Kelly knocked. A woman with strawberry blonde hair answered. She was wearing a black shirt with long sleeves, but nothing else except for a thin, short pair of grey training pants. Not even shoes. Man, that’s hardcore. It’s not even warm in there, Ryan realized.

“Hello, may I help you?”

“Has a man in a pink suit come around these parts? Tall guy? Bleached blond hair? Emperor of Kyrai…?”

The woman’s eyes flashed in mild bemusement. “Pagan Kim?”

“That’s right.”

“Haven’t seen him. Don’t tell me the three of you trekked all the way up here just to ask me that.”

“We had no clue you were up here,” Ryan said. “I mean, who the heck are you anyways? What kind of person lives in a mountain?”

“I run a Pokémon Training Academy along with my partner, Qiang. We feel that the remoteness of this location, as well as the harshness of the elements, are a bonus if anything. Kyrai is ideally-placed as an outpost for us to get supplies from when we need to.”

“Oh… cool! Really cool, nice!” Ryan’s heart nearly skipped a beat. “What kind of academy is this? Do you train any Pokémon? Any Pokémon at all?!”

“Yes,” she replied, not matching his enthusiasm.

“What kind of programs do you offer?”

“Ryan, that’s enough. Stop it! Now is not the time t–”

“Aw, c’mon, Kelly, it’ll just be a minute. She didn’t see Pagan, so chill.”

Shaking her head, she sipped from her orange juice pouch noisily. So jealous, Kelly. That’s not like you.

“We offer a variety of courses. We have a three-month training program, a one-month training program, and a six-week program. Naturally, you will have to pay to enlist your Pokémon, but the rates are cheaper the longer you let them stay.”

“Hmmm…” Ryan thought to himself. “How good do the Pokémon come out after you’ve trained them?”

“If they aren’t fully-evolved yet, they will be ready to evolve into their final forms, provided those evolutions do not require a stone or item or the like. Your Pokémon will be guaranteed to reach at least level fifty.”

“Level fifty, huh? That’s real scientific.”

“That’s the minimum guarantee, or we’ll refund you. If we are unable to train your Pokémon, you won’t pay a Poké dime.”

“Neat-o. But, uh, we won’t be staying in Kyrai long, so do you have any, like, super-express training regimes I could maybe buy?”

She folded her arms. “What do you mean?”

“How much would it cost for a one-week training session?”

“That would be extremely intense. We’ve never run such a short session before.”

“Yeah, I see. But how much would that cost?”

She took a moment to think. Ryan thought it was odd that she hadn’t invited them inside. But considering, from what he could see, the inside was just an Onix-carved cave, it probably wasn’t much better in there than it was outside. It had stopped snowing at least.

“Well… I can’t guarantee your Pokémon will reach level fifty in a week, but we’ll do what we can. Anyways, it’ll be twenty thousand Poké Dollars.”

“What?! That’s insane!”

“The three-month package is twelve thousand. Would you prefer that?”

Ryan scoffed, “Ain’t nobody got time for that!”

“Then it’s twenty thousand, or no deal.”

“You drive a hard bargain, Miss.”

“I’m Hilda,” she said. “And you are?”

“Ryan.”

“And which of your Pokémon would you like us to train?”

“This little guy…” Ryan ripped off his backpack and dumped the snoring Katagiri onto the stone floor before Hilda. The poor Bubble Frog Pokémon awoke with a start, his snot bubble popping messily. “Can you make him into a big boy frog in a week, pretty please?”

“Hmmm… Well, at least he’s not a Froakie.” She picked Katagiri up, cradling him gently between her arms. Her gentleness relieved Ryan. “Yeah, we’ll see what we can do. You got cash or credit?”

“Credit yo! Man, this is gonna suck me dry. All my winnings are gonna be gone after this…!”

“You won a lot more than that, Ryan… What did you spend it all on?” Kelly asked him.

“Oh that’s a secret for another time, promise.”

“Whatever.” She continued to guzzle orange juice.

Hilda brought out a tiny hand-held credit device, and Ryan swiped his card through it. Just like that, out of the blue, his Katagiri was off to train with random strangers for a week. Just gotta go with the flow, yo. Take what they give you. They said their goodbyes in hushed tones that were quelled by the raging winds outside.

“Dier!” his Water Pokémon cried out to him as Hilda turned and began walking away.

“Katagiri, be good, alright? I’ll be back for you in a week. Don’t worry. You’re going to be trained for a while and get real strong, okay? You’ll do great, I believe in you!”

“Frogga!”

His anguished cries were snuffed out by the door closing with a deep thud. Everything had happened so quick, so bereft of emotion and lingering pleasantries. Hilda is the opposite of Kaku and Tyson. I can’t complain about that. She’s no-nonsense. She’ll train my Giri good!

“Are we done here?”

“Yeah, let’s get back to town. It’s getting late.”

“Well, I’m glad you found something to do up here, cause I sure as heck couldn’t.”

“Now, now, Kelly, you finished that whole juice pouch. I’m proud of ya.”

She looked away in embarrassment. “Shut up.”

Ryan noticed, curiously, that her cheeks had darkened a shade. Has the cold finally gotten to her? She wasn’t shivering, so no… that couldn’t be it. It was best not to dwell on possibility. His hand found Thurnax’s ball again. He slung his backpack over his shoulder. The lack of weight startled him, and for the first time since purchasing his jacket, Ryan felt the chill of Kyrai in his bones.


They had just landed outside of the hotel when the fireworks began going off. The ground rumbled, and the sound of engines cut through the air. A long black limo came ambling down the road, surrounded on all sides by motorcycles. Pagan.

His other guards looked the same as those who had attacked them outside of the train station. The procession moved silently at first, save for the random fireworks going off around them. The three teenagers stood in stunned silence, watching the group pass them by. Not one guard so much as glanced at them.

The limo’s sunroof opened. Up popped the blond wonder: “Pagan Kim here,” he shouted into a microphone as another round of fireworks blossomed in the cloud-torn sky. “This message is directed at the terrorists who took out three of my guards earlier today. This act of aggression will not go unanswered,” he sneered. “I vow to bring the people responsible to justice, no matter the cost. That is all. Sleep well, residents of Kyrai.”

He descended back into the limo. Flashes of pink and grey and white and orange thundered in the sky. The procession reached the gate of Pagan’s mansion. The bars swung inward, and the limo and the six bikes surrounding it raced inside without pause.

As the gates swung closed, the loud, faintly tampered sound of imperial military music blasted from sound speakers hanging above the lampposts just outside the castle. This went on for two or so minutes uninterrupted before dead silence resumed for half a heartbeat. Then a woman began to speak, her voice muffled and echoing with a metallic twang:

“No matter the howling of the wind or the crashing of the waves, the mountain will never bow. May Pagan’s light shine upon you all.”

Silence returned with a gust to Kyrai.

“So he’s around,” Kelly said to herself. Her speech was slurring ever so slightly. “That’s good to know. Good, alright, okay! Next time he decides to show his face outside the compound, we’ll pounce. Got it? We have to be quicker next time.”

“Yeah, sure, whatever,” Ryan yawned. “Can we get some dinner now? I’m starving.”

She was fixed to her position, snow on her shoulders and hood, like a statue in the mist. Her eyes penetrated the gate with cold hatred. Whatever Pagan Kim had done to her mother, Ryan and Logan didn’t know the half of it. We never will. This cuts too deep.

“Come on, Kelly. You’ll freeze to death if you stay out here much longer. All of us will. We’ve been outside for hours! It’s time to go inside. We’ll try again tomorrow, alright? There’s always tomorrow.”

He patted her on the shoulder. Her fists clenched. Ryan thought she would stay there, would ignore them, would refuse to respond. Yet in the next moment, she broke her gaze and followed the brown-haired boy meekly into the hotel, Ryan taking up the rear. He hadn’t taken the trip seriously up until this point. This had been like another vacation to him, only colder (and far worse than the last one). But now that Ryan had seen that look in Kelly’s eyes, he knew he had to defeat Pagan Kim no matter what. I have to show her that I’m not… that I’m not…

Those old painful thoughts again. He hadn’t expected to return to them while lucid. Kelly was drunk. They were together again. The only thing missing, Ryan thought, glancing innocently up at the empty sky, is my guardian Mew.

Episode 3: Advanced Chemistry

“Don’t worry, Froggy, your owner will return for you in a week. Until then, he’s entrusted my partner and me to mold you into the best Frogadier you can be.”

“Greetings, brown-haired human. Would you happen to know where the nearest food bowl is located? Alas, I am tardy for second breakfast!”

She chuckled, patting him on the head, not understanding a word he said. Typical ground-walker. It was just like with his blue-haired master. That bumbling fool never had any idea what Katagiri was trying to say. “Okay…” The female human brought him into a room at the end of the cave path. “I’m going to measure your specs, Katagiri. Please remain calm. It’ll only take a second.”

“I am a fancy boy, human. Fear not.”

Inside the rocky little abode, a nice place for a nap he thought, were various contraptions, tables, boxes, lights, and so many new smells. The young Frogadier honed in on the several immured Pokémon. Their cages were hardly large enough to accomodate sprinting, he observed with trepidation.

She set him down gently on a metal square against one rocky wall and pointed a device at him that looked not unlike Ryan’s Dex thing. A bright light flashed, and he tasted bubbles. Blinking in confusion, Katagiri felt himself being picked up again.

A ferocious-looking terror in the nearest cage, its eyes glinting gold, hissed, “Aw, look at the newbie. He’s shaking. What a disgrace. I’ll be coming for you, newbie. Just wait till she lets us out…”

The human did not detect that peevish lout’s treason. She’s a slow one, like all of them are. Someone was banging on his cage walls, begging for food. Katagiri’s belly rumbled. It was cold, but still his heart was beating quick; he felt within him a rising sense of anxiety. Most of all, he missed the comfort of master’s backpack. I just know she won’t let me sleep whenever I want.

“Well, Katagiri, I’m impressed. You’re already level 20.”

He knew that, of course, having leveled up that very morning against some random feathery pleb who’d ambushed him from the bushes. “Thank you, thank you, now can I get my lunch?”

“And you’re a Protean Frogadier to boot. Do you know what that means?”

“Of course I do, tall human female. Excellent observation indeed. I am my master’s favorite, of course.”

She patted him again. “Every move you ever use will get the same-type-attack-bonus, or STAB. This means that every single move you use during battle will be 50% more powerful than normal. You’re lucky, Katagiri. Protean is a relatively rare ability for your species. You must have come from a Pokémon Breeder. Is that right?”

His first memory, a memory he cherished as much as mid-afternoon brunch, had been of his master waving around Dex, shouting, Open your eyes, you robotic dummy!, gleefully. It had been the morning of the final match of the Indigo League–a match Ryan went on to win somehow. A hipster dufus though he was, Katagiri’s master had achieved a remarkable result that day, no doubt due to the good luck of him being born just then. He had gotten to watch the battle from the friends-and-family stands, and later, Ryan’s Alakazam (who strangely, uniquely amongst all of Ryan’s Pokémon companions, lacked a nickname) had told him all about the elimination rounds leading up to that battle, and the grand showdowns the boy and his loyal six had endured against the Elite 4 and reigning Indigo League Champion (which all took place in the bowels of a mansion Katagiri had not been allowed inside of).

He was the first Pokémon Ryan had raised not native to Kanto, though he was by no means the last. Still, he felt a sense of desire, a thirst that could never be quenched, so to speak, by the fact that he was the first of his master’s companions to not aid him in his Indigo League championship. He much desired to help Ryan achieve another championship, but the teenager hardly seemed interested in such things anymore. After he’d won the Indigo League, they had spent a long vacation on the warm beaches of the Sevii Islands, which had been rather nice, and Katagiri had even evolved from his juvenile form into his adolescent one after defeating a wild Gligar for his master during that trip. That Gligar–whom his master had named Gothmog–was now a member of the active team, along with graceful Thurnax the Dragonite, Ammu the Mareanie (whom he had totally beaten too, when she’d been a wild one), Vorian, that vicious, yet technically-skilled Scizor, and the newest member, caught only earlier that day, Little Kramer, the Combusken.

Thurnax alone remained from Ryan’s Indigo League team, and she was by far his strongest companion. He felt trickles of jealousy spread, but tried to ignore them. Ryan was good to his Pokémon, despite his oblivious nature. The boy had given him a Luxury Ball to live in, and yet had not forced him into it often. He especially enjoyed the company of Katagiri, and Katagiri especially enjoyed the company of Ryan. Life was good; the Pokémon was satisfied. He was yet young, new to the ways of fighting, but he was not the weakest link–not anymore. He knew for a fact that Gothmog and Little Kramer were weaker than him, and ever since he had evolved into his Frogadier form, he had known that he was stronger than Ammu too.

I’m a Protean Frogadier, he daydreamed. Next up, Vorian. And after him, Thurnax. Some day soon, I’ll be number one!

Katagiri vaguely remembered that her name was Hilda. Remembering the various complicated names of humans had always been a tough task for this Bubble Frog Pokémon, so he was quite pleased with himself. “Uh… Katagiri, are you still with me, little guy?”

“Surely I am, lady!”

“We have merely a week to get this done, so I need to begin your training now. Are you ready?”

“Oh yes, yes, after second breakfast of course.”

“Good, so we’ll begin.”

I keep forgetting she can’t understand a word I say. Curses. A pox on all of humankind for not inventing Pokémon translators yet. “Can’t I get a bite to eat before–”

“You have excellent moves for your level,” she interrupted, carrying him out of that room, down the long, dank, cold-festering tunnel again, her voice echoing off the rocks.

Shadows danced along the outcrops and boulders, and Katagiri was enthralled. He loved the look of shadow monsters; ever since he’d been a wee lad (and he still was, to be fair), he’d encountered such creatures on the edges of dreams, as sleep paralysis had shaken his body (oftentimes in the cozy darkness of Ryan’s backpack). He had never been afraid of them. Curiosity had always gotten the better of Katagiri. He liked to stare and look and he realized from an early age that for some reason, all of his monsters seemed to be Grass or Electric type.

“I have to assume Ryan gave you Ice Beam through a TM spray. Is that correct?”

“How’d you know that?! Were you reading my memories, human?” He didn’t know if humans could do that, but certainly, neither Ryan nor that airhead who followed him around possessed such an ability.

“I see. You’re a lucky Frogadier, Katagiri. Your owner takes good care of you. Toxic is a TM as well. Those are both excellent moves. And since you are a Protean Frogadier, your ability to use Toxic–which is otherwise a semi-unreliable move–will never be in doubt. You will never miss with that attack unless you aren’t even trying. Poison-type Pokémon never do.”

“Cool. So how about second breakfast?”

“From what I’ve gathered, your IVs are all in order. I haven’t been able to get a reading on your nature yet, but that will come in time, after you’ve completed the entry-level tests. But anyways, what we really need to focus on is getting you comfortable in battle, help you develop synchronicity with your trainer, and build up your EVs. My tests indicated that you have very few EVs as of right now, so fixing that will be our number one priority going forward.”

He had no clue what an EV was, but he knew how to stick to a wall like it was nothing. “What are you talking about, woman? What’s that got to do with anything?”

Her eyes seemed to sparkle in the low light. Electric torches were placed along the path at wide intervals, leaving vast pools of darkness on all sides. Half of Hilda’s face was covered in shadows, finally rousing Katagiri’s interests. “I need to know what exactly you’re good at. Is it Attack? Special Attack? Defense? Special Defense? Or Speed?”

“You gotta go faster if you want to keep up with me,” the Frogadier remarked coolly. He really enjoyed being carried around like a king. She could have forced him to hop after her, so the VIP treatment was much appreciated. Katagiri pretty much loved nothing more than to be lazy and feel good, which he knew was odd and not a sentiment shared by more than 1% of the population.

“I won’t know until I run some more tests. So, how about it? Are you ready?”

“I much desire second breakfast!” Katagiri croaked. “I’m utterly famished, human, can’t you see?”

They had come to a stop outside of another door. She opened it, and at once, floodlights flared into existence. His eyes watering, he had to blink many times to adjust his perception. It’s even colder in here. They must only live here because they’re too lazy to find somewhere warmer. If they knew how blissfully warm the Sevii Islands are, I’m sure neither this human nor the Pokémon she’s training would want to remain in this awful place.

Indeed, he too wanted to leave, and he’d hardly been here half an hour.

“First, I’m going to put this on you. I hope you don’t mind. It shouldn’t feel uncomfortable.” Hilda reached into her pocket and brought out a little blue cylinder that was hollow in middle. “This is a Power Anklet. Wearing it will help you achieve Speed EVs at a faster rate. Speed is one of your most important traits as a Frogadier. You’re going to be a quick fighter. Your role on Ryan’s team will be to act as a sweeper–a speedy juggernaut who takes down numerous opponents after everything’s been set up for you. So, regardless of if you specialize in Special Attack or physical Attack, you will need to max out your speed trait early on. Our first tests will deal with this. Do you understand, Katagiri?”

“That sounds wonderful, but when is feeding time? Ryan fed me breakfast on the train, but that was a late breakfast, and I wouldn’t be surprised if it were dinnertime by now. I’m owed at least five meals. I would like them all served together, please and thank you.”

“Very good boy. You seem eager. I like your energy!” She attached the anklet to his left ankle and placed him on the cold stone floor.

The Frogadier looked around sheepishly. This isn’t the kitchen. “Mmmm… huh? Hold on, human, where are we?”

“I want you to run this obstacle course as fast as you can. It doesn’t matter if you get tired, feel short of breath, or get hurt by an obstacle or two. I don’t want you to slow down for anything. Understand me, Frogadier?” Her tone had become noticeably deeper, sharp as an icicle.

“Sure…”

“Use your intuition to react. You won’t have time to think about how to dodge the obstacles or how best to move through them. You simply need to sprint through the course. Show me what you can do!”

He felt anxious again. Ahead, there were a series of platforms, ropes, ladders, spikes, potholes, barriers, walls, and so much other jive that Katagiri’s mind started spinning. I can do this easy. Ryan didn’t even need to teach me how to jump from his bed to the TV in the Sevii hotel. That was all instinct. His anxiety evaporated; confidence replaced the emptiness within Katagiri. He stepped forward, his chest puffed out, chewing on bubbles.

Pulling out a whistle from her pocket and blowing it, Hilda urged him onward. He didn’t hesitate. Bounding down the path, Katagiri kept his eyes peeled, building his speed as fast as he could. He couldn’t even feel the anklet; he felt light as air.

A pillar of flame erupted before him. Shocked, he hopped aside at the last moment, barely avoiding getting roasted up real good. Then, another pillar of flames shot up from the ground in front of him, and he had to hop out of the way again–this time to the left. This continued a few more times, but already he was getting the hang of it, and he had no trouble dodging out of the way of the fifth, sixth, and seventh fiery pillars.

Up ahead was a wall, but before he reached it, a wall of flames flexed from the ground, blocking his path forward. He couldn’t dodge right and he couldn’t dodge left–there were flames in all directions. He had to move; he had to keep going. There was no time to stop and warm his bubble scarf by the fire.

The ball of water quickly turned into a wave of sizzling foam as it quenched the fires like a blanket. He was through. Hilda continued to urge him on with her whistle. Suddenly, rocks began spinning at him like falling rain from the darkness, coming from above, behind, and on both sides. Keeping his vision as total as possible, the Frogadier jumped and dove and slid and spun, not letting a single pebble peg him. It wasn’t as easy as he had hoped–already he felt his stamina draining–but it wasn’t as hard as he had once feared.

There before him was a towering blue wall made of dyed wood. It was at least twenty feet tall, its upper corners just barely visible from the shrouds of darkness emanating from above. He jumped and stuck to it with both hands. Rocks bounced off the wooden face of it on all sides of him. Katagiri began to rise, ignoring the burning in his arms, wrists, and knees. When he slipped, his foot coming loose for a moment, he didn’t panic. To panic would be to let go, and he wasn’t about to make a fool of himself on his very first day here.

He was up and over the wall after seventeen more blows of the whistle. Landing softly on the other side, catching his breath, Katagiri noticed grimly that he’d have to be very precise with this next run across a rope bridge, for there was an ocean of spikes beneath it. If he fell, he’d be skewered, and that would be the end of this glorious trip, he knew.

Despising failure and pain were two things that drove Katagiri onwards. He also wasn’t one to be paralyzed by fear. Letting go of his worries, he sprinted across the rope, pretending there was nothing below it, pretending it was the floor. His hands and feet clung tightly to the rope and he never even slipped.

Next up was a ladder leading up a wall even taller than that last one he’d scaled. Without pausing, Katagiri raced up it, feeling his muscles burn, wincing in pain, slowing ever so, but never giving into those poisonous thoughts urging him to give up. Nah, I’m good. He wanted to burn through this course like no one ever had before.

At the top of the wall, darkness hugging him, Katagiri noticed several floating platforms, each being held up by a mechanical propeller and engine, extending outwards ahead. They were rising even higher into the cave. How high up is the ceiling? He couldn’t see it, and didn’t have time to calculate such a pedantic thing. Psychically-floating rocks were still being flung at him, and if he wasn’t careful, he’d get knocked off. It was a long ways back to the ground.

Leaping with his arms extended, Katagiri landed with a roll onto the first platform, using his momentum to carry him into another pristine jump to the second. Again, he rolled and used the momentum gained from that simple trick to slide across the hovering ice platform, slippery as gunk, to reach the third platform. He noticed with mild terror that each platform had been spread out farther from the previous one. His jumps needed to become more precise and more acrobatic with every platform.

The fourth one was not so hard, but the fifth was a bit of a strain, and the sixth was far enough away that even with all of the momentum he could muster, Katagiri wasn’t sure he would make the landing until he did. Then, from the darkness above, a huge boulder dropped, nearly squashing him. Dodging to the side, the Frogadier slid to the edge of the platform, even as half of it was shattered by the giant rock’s impact. He had, with a bit of luck, survived that. But now he was in deep trouble. His momentum was gone, and there wasn’t enough platform left to get a running start and make the next jump. Heck, he could barely see the next platform from where he was.

Another boulder dropped from the ceiling, punching off another corner. Don’t think… just go! Something Alakazam had told him once came to mind in that moment: Ryan knows how to use your talents. Once he’s fought with you for a little while, he’ll figure it out. He may look like a witless, clumsy fool, but he’s got heart, and he’s more aware than people give him credit for. I remember one battle during the tournament when it was still three-versus-three. Both NaVorro and Myrrah had been KO’d. It was down to one of us for his tournament life. He chose me, even though I was Abra at the time.

I had regrets–many of them–from my tournaments with Ryan’s father. I performed poorly in those for the most part, and was personally responsible for two of his losses. It got to the point where his father would no longer trust me. I wouldn’t evolve–I wouldn’t help him. I had no chemistry with the man. He chose other Pokémon in my stead. The only thing worse than losing a battle is watching it slip away without getting the chance to make a difference. Ryan allowed me to have the final word, for better or worse. He believed in me, but he knew I could win. I was the perfect counter for Arbok. I defeated him without much of a struggle.

Then I was faced with a Gengar. An Abra is no match for a Gengar, even though I was a higher level than him. I felt an obligation towards Master in that moment. I could not lose–I could not do to him what I had done to his father. I could not fail again. I would not. He gave me the orders for the correct moves, and I evolved to defeat that Gengar. It was something I thought I would never be capable of. I had always been afraid to evolve, for I thought becoming Kadabra would make me entirely different, that the real me would slip away if I gave into that feeling. I wanted to be me, to stay me… but I had to let go to help him win. I had to overcome my own fears to defeat that ghost.

He put me in a situation to succeed. Was it luck? Possibly. But there was too much heart in that choice–I saw this same thing from Ryan over and over again. He never wanted to lose, but he wanted us to win as much as he wanted to win himself. He chose me not only because I was his first Pokémon and he thought I deserved one last go if this was to be it, but because he knew that I had a chance to really do something special. I think he believed more than me that I could evolve, that I could take that next step, and he proved it with the way he coached me in that battle. Don’t doubt him. You have no reason to. You know which moves you should use, depending on your opponent’s type. He will almost always tell you to perform the move you should–the move you think you should. It’s as if he has a psychic bond with all of us. I’ve never seen anything like it. You have to trust him, have to believe that his intuition and your own are working in congruity.

Alakazam loved to ramble. He had talked Katagiri’s ears off on more than thirteen occasions. That entire speech came back to him in that moment, like an inhalation of cold water, and before the third boulder dropped, he was running. The young Frogadier leapt into the air, did a front-flip, and, as hastily as he could manage, shot an Ice Beam into the platform. Ice cracked and tore and puffs of frost went spiraling into the air. The explosion carried him all the way to that last platform. He had to reach out and grip the edge of it to make it, had to flip himself up onto it with all his strength just to dodge another rock missile, but in the end, he’d done it.

Panting, he looked for the next platform when the one he was standing on shattered beneath his feet without warning. Suddenly, he was free-falling.

Icy shards shot up at him as Katagiri sailed down. That was unnatural. This is part of the test, the Water Pokémon realized.

His neck was no longer freezing. Katagiri swam through the air, feeling his movements before he enacted them, reacting to what was around him as if in a trance, his dexterity surprising even him. Rocks and energy chunks whizzed through the air, yet he cut around them like he was tracing a finger through sand, dodging all the snoozing Krabbys like a pro.

Spitting bubbles, their impact against the ground creating a sonic echo that slowed his descent, Katagiri landed softly. Looking around, he noticed the rocks had stopped pursuing him like angry Beedrill. His little lungs were expanding and contracting at record pace.

“Adequate,” Hilda spoke, suddenly appearing from the darkness behind him. “That’s the fastest any Pokémon has completed that course in months. And certainly no Frogadier has ever done it so quickly as far as I’m aware. Really, that wasn’t bad at all. How are you feeling?”

“I’m so hungry I could eat a Horsea!”

“Well, don’t get too confident. Your initiation isn’t complete yet, Katagiri.” She blew her whistle again, and from behind her came a Pokémon. Son of Heqet! This isn’t fair! I’m all out of stamina, human. Why are you so cruel to me? I didn’t think such injustice would be your style.

Its body was mostly green, although its face and beak were beige. The crown of its head was a mushroom, and its tail was long with a cluster of green spores on the tip. He had no clue what this species was called, as he had never encountered it before. Most of the species he was aware of were ones he had either battled or seen in Ryan’s Dex. A Grass Type. Like out of my nightmares. Why me?

“Sup,” Katagiri spoke naïvely, bowing to obscure how out-of-breath he truly was. “I’m Katagiri, what’s your name?”

“Shut yo’ mouth, frog! D’Adrianna ain’t got no time for dat sass mouth, mhmm!”

“M-my… excuse me?”

“Katagiri, this is D’Adrianna. D’Adrianna, this is Katagiri. You are our two newest recruits. To complete your initiation, you will duel without your trainers telling you which moves to use. You’re going to have to come up with that on your own, alright? Good. Now, let us begin. Good luck, and may the best Pokémon win!”

I’m a Protean Frogadier, I’m the best! “Good luck!” he chirped impulsively.

“Bow before your sensei!” D’Adrianna screamed, clicking her beak annoyingly. “Bow before your sensei!”

Perplexed, Katagiri nevertheless showed her some measure of respect. “So, what kind of Pokémon are you?” he asked.

“The kind who eats frogs for breakfast and digests them before lunch! Now, watch this, little kid. Ahh, yeah!! It’s time for my Mega Drain!”

She has to be a Grass Type. She really looks like one. That means she must be weak to… “Ice Beam!”

Katagiri had no idea why he was yelling the name of his attack, but he kind of wanted to know what it felt like to be Ryan for a moment. Needless to say, such a moment was a horrible moment, the worst moment, a moment he would forget before supper, and he was thankful that in the next moment, he was Katagiri again. He liked being Katagiri. Being the human in these battles always seemed so dreadfully dull.

His beam of ice formed at the tip of his fingers, radiating pale, murky light before forming into a slender bullet and whooshing off from his grasp like an errant bubble. D’Adrianne was taken in the belly by it, and went down grunting to an embarrassing degree.

“Ooh, that hurt! Ooh, you little coward! How dare you give my spores frostbite?! Y’all better watch me now, honey. Now I’m mad, mhmm. I’m real mad!”

Her energy attack was green and yellow and pulsing with sheer power. He could hear its buzz from where he stood. This is my test. I have to dodge… He was so tired. That last Ice Beam had taken a lot out of him, and to be honest, he was more than a little surprised to see his foe absorb a super effective attack, especially from a Protean Frogadier, and survive to tell the tale. Yes, she appeared wounded by it, but she wasn’t going down that easily. It would take another Ice Beam or two at least, and he wasn’t sure he had that much energy left.

D’Adrianne fired her Mega Drain. Katagiri feinted to the left, drawing the energy to him, then, with all his agility, hopped to the right, using the ground as his springboard, sailing through the air. It was with horror he realized that his opponent’s energy beam was homing in on him still.

As soon as he landed, he tried to spin out of the oncoming attack, but it was too late. He was wrapped up in it, covered, burned, sapped of his strength, and thrown to the cold floor. A wispy trail of green energy floated up from his bruised and battered body and returned to D’Adrianne, replenishing her health.

“Thanks. It wasn’t much, heh, but some’s better than none, that’s for sure.”

That sneer was hideous. He couldn’t look away. He couldn’t move his body. This was like sleep paralysis, only his limbs ached and burned and felt heavy. I… failed…

“That’ll do,” Hilda said, blowing her whistle again for no good reason (as far as young Katagiri could tell). “D’Adrianne, return to your room. Qiang will meet you there shortly.”

“As you wish, ma’am,” the Grass Pokémon replied cordially, bowing before spinning on her heels, the corner of her eye gleaming with arrogance, and marching off, her chest out, her tail held high.

“Get up,” she said coldly to him.

“I can’t!”

The human measured him with her remote device again. Katagiri’s body was covered in goosebumps. “You’re at 3% health. You can get up. Follow me. I need to show you to your quarters.”

“But it hurts all over!”

“Get up, or you’ll have to run this course again before you get any rest!”

She was suddenly terrifying, and he was obeying her with swiftness he didn’t know he still possessed. She was so friendly before. What happened? The Bubble Frog Pokémon wanted to blame her human nature on that one, but he knew, in the furthest reaches of his tiny, worn-out heart, that it was because he had shown himself to be a failure. He shivered, following her back to the tunnel, his head bowed. Nobody like losing, and nobody liked losers.

It was no surprise, really. Humans were no different than Pokémon in that regard. His master would be so disappointed in him. Katagiri blinked away the tears and was grateful at least that Hilda never once turned around to face him, lest she see how truly weak this Protean Frogadier was.


Kelly, Ryan, and Logan were told by the hotel owner, a portly, chinless man with sallow, oily skin, the next morning that a snowstorm had come to town and that they wouldn’t be able to go outside again until it passed.

The snow had piled up so high that the windows of each room on the first floor were totally covered. No one could get in or out–not that there were many people checked in to the hotel at present. Indeed, aside from the teenagers, there was only a group of high-stakes poker players sitting around a table in the corner of the lobby, shuffling chips and wearing sunglasses despite being indoors (because they didn’t trust their own eyes), and a single boy sitting at the bar on a stool watching television.

“I’m sorry… there’s nothing I can do. Nobody controls the weather,” the owner said apologetically to them.

“Not according to Jesse Ventura,” Ryan replied.

“Who?”

Kelly rolled her eyes. “Exactly. Anyways, do you at least have an idea as to how long this storm will last?”

“Not a clue, Miss. I’m sorry. Look…” he said, pulling some slips of paper out of his back pocket, “have some complimentary meals on the house. I’m sorry for the inconvenience, but there’s nothing to be done.”

“Do these come with free drinks?”

“Oh yes, of course. Free refills until midnight.”

Kelly smirked. “Well alright then. Thanks.”

Once the man had left, they found a table and sat down together. Ryan held his Combusken’s Poké Ball between his hands, pondering what to do next. “Why don’t I just have Little Kramer use his fire attacks to melt all the snow?”

“He’d run out of stamina long before that was possible. He’s not even a Blaziken yet, Ryan.”

“We could try at least. I have some potions that could help…”

Logan concurred with Kelly. “It’s still snowing, bro. Kramer doesn’t have a chance in HFIL to make a dent in it till the storm’s passed.”

Ryan shrugged. He hated boredom almost as much as he hated school. The prospect of being stuck in this hotel for the foreseeable future was not in the least bit appealing. “Well… I guess at least we know that Pagan’s trapped in his mansion too, so he won’t be able to go anywhere for a while.”

“Nope. He’s got a private helicopter. He’s probably not even in Kyrai right now.”

“What…? That’s no fair!”

“Life isn’t fair, Ryan,” Logan said, sweet as poison.

“But where would he even go if he left?”

Kelly shrugged. “Probably somewhere in Kalos. You remember that Dendemille Town is just south of here, don’t you?”

“Don’t talk to me like I’m five, Kelly. You still haven’t told us what he stole from your mom. Like, we came all this way to help you and we still don’t know what the heck we’re doing.”

A Jynx came over to the table and took their orders. Ryan rarely liked to eat breakfast, as doing so usually just made him feel sick, so he only ordered a glass of pineapple juice. Logan ordered a vegetarian omelette, while Kelly bought herself a bowl of cereal and a tall glass of orange juice. They’re such weirdos, he thought. Cereal and orange juice? That’d make me throw up. And why would anyone order a vegetarian omelette? That defeats the purpose!

The boy at the bar’s bowl of franks and beans arrived, and instead of continuing to sit at the bar, he decided to make things interesting and take a seat at the table directly to Ryan’s right. The boy ate noisily and stared at the three of them as he consumed his meal, but they ignored him nonetheless. From how they were sitting, only Ryan could see that he was staring at them anyways.

She waited until her orange juice was brought to her before answering. “It’s nothing, Ryan.”

“No it’s not. We wouldn’t be here if it was nothing.”

“Look… can you just forget it? It’s personal. That’s all I’m going to say.” She took a long gulp of orange juice. “Just think of this as a mission to deal with an evil ganglord. You like fighting bad guys, don’t you?”

Now it was Ryan’s turn to roll his eyes at Logan. “She’s the worst, isn’t she?”

“I’m just an innocent bystander, dude. I don’t want to be a part of this argument!” the other boy whimpered.

“Well, since we have all this free time suddenly, we should come up with a strategy to take out Kim’s Zapdos… that’s assuming he wasn’t bluffing last time.”

Kelly’s glass was already half empty. “He’s not. Don’t worry about that, either. I’ll take care of Zapdos.”

“Oh really? Who do you think you are, Alex?” Scoffing, Ryan continued, “Come on, Kelly. You’re no League Champion. You can’t take a Legendary Pokémon on by yourself!”

Her look was almost entirely fury. Uh oh. That’s the look I always hate to see! Gripping her cup, she polished off the rest, stood up, and walked over to the bar, where she ordered a refill and immediately downed it. Soon, she was ordering a third.

“Wh-wha…? What did I say?”

“You don’t hear yourself speak, do you Ryan? That was pretty mean.”

“I didn’t mean it like that… I was just trying to say we should work together.”

Logan lowered his voice to a whisper, side-glancing at the girl as if he feared her overhearing him. “Yeah, well, looks like she’s still’s still raw about losing the Indigo League.”

“We have to work together. If she doesn’t want to, she deserves getting told off.”

“Yeah maybe. I don’t know, man.”

“Whatever.”

She didn’t return to the table. After getting a fourth refill, Kelly walked briskly off back to their room, never glancing back at them. Crap. Well, looks like I’m going to have to deal with her drama again. The boy was not looking forward to that.

The Jynx returned with their food. Kelly’s bowl looked so lonely before the empty seat. Logan immediately dug into his omelette like a starved Gliscor. Embarrassed, Ryan looked away and found that his gaze had locked again with that other boy.

“Mmmm, I love these Kalos Jynx, don’t you?” the boy spoke up suddenly. He had forgotten to wipe the sauce from his lips. “They’re so thick… so cute and tiny and squishy. Don’t you just want to hug them?”

Oh here we go. “No sir, I’ve never had that desire in my life.”

The other boy looked at Ryan like he was a Deoxys or something. “I’m Kyle, by the way. Nice to meet you.”

“Uh, hello. I’m Ryan, and that’s Logan.”

Logan was busy eating, slapping the butt of a ketchup bottle with urgency, his head bowed over his plate. He didn’t so much as acknowledge the conversation going on.

“Cool. By the way, in Chile, they used to throw communists out of helicopters, ha! And guess what, there aren’t any commies there anymore. Pretty funny, right?”

Ryan looked at Kyle as if he were a Banette. “Yeah, sure. You know, if I had a younger brother, his name would be Kyle, but that’s not to say that you’re my brother or anything.”

“I met this girl in Japanese 1A who wore sandals to school everyday,” Kyle said, as if he hadn’t heard anything Ryan had just said (he had, though, that little Primeape). “She painted her toes blue and purple. Ryan, you wouldn’t believe it. Her feet were so sexy.”

“That’s really nice, dude. I’m glad for you. I think I’m just going to–”

“Hey, want to win a cool prize?”

Logan looked up hastily. “Yes of course he does!”

Kyle was a brown-haired boy with a few strands of browner hair for a goatee. But his goatee wasn’t very thick, and it looked more like arm hair transplanted to his chin than a proper beard. He was probably older than Ryan for the sake of this to be true, but in no way did it seem like he was an intelligent boy, nor a particularly good person. The way in which he kept ignoring everything Ryan said while ranting about random things was a terrible, horrible personality trait, and yet Ryan was lazy–or perhaps lonely–enough to put up with it.

Nonetheless, Ryan elbowed Logan in the ribs. “Why’d you gotta say that?”

“C’mon dude, you’re a winner. You won the Indigo League! Show this guy who’s boss!”

He exhaled noisily. “Fine, whatever. What’s the prize?”

“That’s a secret,” Kyle smiled. “Want to know what the competition is, Ryan? Hey, did you hear me?”

“What is the competition about?” the teal-haired boy asked slowly and spitefully.

“We each eat one of these ghost pepper chips.” He held up two small red bags. “And then see who can go the longest without drinking any Moomoo Milk.

“You got a third bag?”

“Yeah, why?”

“Logan wants to play too.”

“H-hey, whoa… what?”

That’s right, Logan. You’re gonna play this game too. “Don’t be a coward, brah.”

“Whatever.” Logan burped, wiping his mouth and sitting back in his seat. “I finished my breakfast anyways.”

Kyle tossed two bags over to them. “There’s only a single chip in there. These are really hot, though. You just have to eat one and see how long you can last, alright? The winner gets a cool prize.”

“It isn’t a ‘Don’t Tread On Me’ t-shirt, is it?” Ryan guessed.

Kyle was a bit slow, perhaps well-meaning, but not entirely. “No… but that’s a great idea! I’ll remember that for next time. Man, the Jynx waiters here sure are thicc, aren’t they?”

“You already said that, dude.”

“I just can’t get them off my mind.”

“That’s great, and awkward, and let’s stop talking about it, okay?”

Logan, innocent and empty-minded as he was, tore open his bag and held up a single triangular-shaped chip, well-seasoned and orange in color. “How hot is this going to be exactly?”

“It’s made from the hottest pepper on Earth, so…”

“Oh my gosh! Ryan, this is going to be horrible! You know I can’t handle even kinda spicy stuff. What’s going to happen after I eat this?”

“I don’t know, maybe you’ll evolve.”

He ripped open his own bag and waited for Kyle to follow through. Once everyone was ready, Kyle whooped and tried to whistle (he couldn’t exactly do it). Ryan ate his chip whole, swallowing it in one gulp after a few crunches. He hadn’t meant to chew it thoroughly, as doing so would probably leave more of the pepper in his mouth. Logan on the other hand had taken at first a nibble off the top of his triangle and then taken a more larger bite, and then finished it off with a third. By the time he swallowed, he was already wincing.

It was hot alright, but nothing Ryan couldn’t handle. Indeed, he was surprised by how mild the spice was overall. This is a ghost pepper? Really? Mom used to make ramen ten times as hot as this. His eyes were watering and his nose was beginning to run, but so far, it was entirely tolerable. Kyle got up from his chair and came to sit down next to them, taking Kelly’s old seat. There was something deeply dishonorable in that action that left Ryan nonplussed.

The other boy was sweating visibly, and his cheeks had gone red from the heat. He gave off no sense agony, however, simply smiling arrogantly at them, cool as a Cuber. The Jynx returned with three glasses of Moomoo milk not long after.

“Thanks, Jynx, you lookin’ fresh as heck!” Kyle sang, tipping her a few Poké Dollars for the trouble. So kind of him. “Well, how about it, Ryan, Logan? You guys feelin’ the heat yet? You want to take a drink?”

“Nah, I’m good.”

Panting, Logan said, “Ryan won the Indigo League! He can’t lose this easily! He’ll win that prize for sure!”

“Yeah, well, I won plenty of leagues too.” His goatee looked like a few strands of Meowth fur that he’d glued onto his chin. “Lets see… the Emerald League, the Crimson League, the Monochrome League… I won that one just a few weeks back. I’m pretty awesome, aren’t I?”

“This isn’t a bragging contest, dude. And statistically, that’s so unlikely that I have no reason to believe you. You seem pretty desperate, trying to outdo my accomplishments.”

“No man, you don’t get it, I’ve won all sorts of leagues before. I’m not lying.”

“I really don’t care. So what if you have? What does that have to do with anything?”

“It shows I have prowess! Chicks dig a man who can win a league.”

I have never met someone more desperate than him… like who does he think he’s trying to fool? This is kindergarten-level pathetic behavior. Whatever. Once we’re done here, I’ll never see this guy again hopefully. That’s as long as the snowstorm doesn’t last very long…

A big if that was indeed.

Ten minutes passed, and finally, they were starting to feel it. Logan was sweating like a madman. Kyle was not looking so good either (though when had he ever?). Ryan too was feeling the heat growing now. It had not been so bad at first, and yet, somehow, the ghost pepper was only getting stronger with time. His mouth was on fire. It was so hard not to take that glass of Moomoo milk and pour it down his throat, and he didn’t even like milk.

“You can quit whenever you like!”

“I eat spicy food all the time. I’m used to this.”

“Oh Arceus, Ryan! You’re so OP… it isn’t fair! Why are you perfect in every single way?!” Logan screamed before downing his glass. “It’s no fair, I tell ya. I want to be the protagonist sometimes too!”

“My mom makes really spicy food for me too, it’s why I like thicc Jynx so much,” Kyle retorted. “I’m going to w… oh… o-oh…!”

With that, Kyle fell to the ground, clutching at his throat. He was so red he should’ve been thrown from a helicopter. “Well, looks like you’re done,” Ryan said. Though outwardly, he showed few signs of succumbing to the heat, he was absolutely burning on the inside. His mouth was on fire. He had to end this as soon as possible. Now was the perfect time. He grabbed Kyle’s glass of milk and poured it all over his face.

“Ryan wins!” Logan cheered. “I knew he’d do it! I knew it!”

Spitting milk everywhere, Kyle sat up, looking livid. “Hey, that doesn’t count! I didn’t drink it! You poured it on me.”

“You gave up the moment you fell out of that chair. Now hand over the prize.”

“Never!”

Now Ryan was incensed. Not only had he been made fun of by this worthless sack of meat, but he’d eaten that spicy chip for nothing.

“Vorian, go!”

Ryan’s Scizor shot out of his ball in a flash.

“The heck…?” Kyle stood to his feet. “Oh… the milk barely helped… my mouth’s burning, burning, burning!”

“Shut up!” Ryan snarled. “Give me that prize, or feel the wrath of my Scizor!”

The other boy was clearly a bit surprised, but he nonetheless unhooked one of his own Poké Balls from his belt and released a Blastoise without much fuss.

“Bullet Punch!”

“Aqua Tail!”

A claw struck a big fat bipedal turtle with cannons under his shell. Then, the Blastoise responded with a brutal, watery swipe of his own. When the dust cleared, they were, neither of them, injured very much.

“Hey, Dexy, what other moves does Scizor know?” Ryan asked, pulling out his favorite companion and pointing it at noble Vorian.

“Vorian the Scizor knows: Bullet Punch, Swords Dance, Roost, and Iron Head.”

“Alright then. Iron Head this time, buddy!”

“Skull Bash him to dust, Blastoise!”

Scizor flew at his foe, his head glowing white. Before Blastoise could Skull Bash the Pincer Pokémon, Ryan’s steadfast warrior hit his opponent and dropped him. Falling back, Scizor then performed a Roost as if to mock the unconscious Blastoise. Lucky that Alex wasn’t there to witness a move being used outside of battle, lest he suffer an aneurysm.

“Now pay up!”

“I have more Pokémon. This isn’t over…”

“Vorian, get ‘em!”

Kyle reached for another Poké Ball, but Ryan’s Scizor was too fast. His claws reached and grabbed and stole the boy’s five remaining Pokémon before they could be used. Returning to Ryan’s side, Poké Balls in hand, the Scizor cried out triumphantly,“Scizeeeeeh!”

“Now,” Ryan said, panting, sipping the hideous milk slowly as he approached Kyle, “hand over the prize I won, or Scizor’ll slice you up.”

“You wouldn’t dare!”

“Vorian!”

Scizor lunged at Kyle, hitting him hard in the stomach with his free claw. The boy keeled over, spitting and coughing, trying to catch his breath again.

“Well?”

“I’m n-not…”

“Vorian!”

Again, Kyle was hit by the Scizor’s swift-moving claw, and again he fell to his knees out of breath. This was compounded all the more by his burning mouth, Ryan knew.

“That’s enough!” Logan cried. He was standing next to the Jynx, another glass of Moomoo milk in his hands, the milk smeared all over his face and lips as he had just hastily gulped down a second glass of it. “Stop it you two right now!”

He was unperturbed to say the least. “Hand over my prize, or Scizor’ll hit you again.”

“F-fine… just, just leave me alone, alright?!” Kyle yelled with the petulance of a small child. He flung a folded piece of paper from his pocket to Ryan’s feet. This better be good.

Unraveling the paper, Ryan wanted to throw up. Maybe that was just the burning in his mouth and the milk in his belly speaking. “Th-this… this is a picture of Prima’s feet!”

She was on a beach, posing seductively, her feet front-and-center, a lusty grin upon her face. I should have known. Dang, he trolled me good.

“She’s so beautiful, isn’t she?” Kyle spoke up, as if forgetting his anguish. “Look at her. She’s perfect, Ryan! She’s the one for me! I’d love to marry a woman like that. Wouldn’t you?”

Disgusted, Ryan tore the paper to shreds, even as the boy cried out as if he were defacing a classical painting from a world-renowned artist. What a waste of time.

“Come on, Logan, let’s go,” Ryan said miserably, leading his friend out of the lobby and back to their room.

The brown-haired boy quickly grabbed two more glasses of Moomoo milk and ran off after him and Scizor. Why’s it always gotta be like this?, Ryan thought to himself. As they left the lobby and silence returned (save for Logan’s panting), Ryan’s thoughts once again returned to Kelly, and he felt a sharp sense of embarrassment grow behind his eyes. I shouldn’t have said that. That was so stupid of me. Why do I do things like that? Why do I gotta be so awkward? I’m going to have to apologize now. I hate apologizing. That’s the worst. Gah… but what else can I do? She was right, Logan was right…

He glanced over his shoulder at the beet-red boy trailing him. Well, that’s a first, I have to admit.


The storm had not abated by the morrow, and Kelly was still not speaking to Ryan. It was lucky the lobby was spacious; despite how weird things had gotten, they were not being forced to confront each other. He spent the day training his Pokémon and thinking over how he should approach her. It was a deep, driving anxiety within him, yet he could not bring it to a head. Kelly did not seek him out either, spending all of her time at the bar burning money on orange juice, or in their hotel room, away from prying eyes.

Logan, meanwhile, fell in with the crowd of poker players.

“Do you have any information about when it’ll be over?” Ryan asked the hotel owner around lunchtime that next day. It was still the case that all of the windows were fully covered in snow.

“Not much, I’m afraid.” His jowls quivered when he spoke. “The storm could last for several more hours… or days… maybe even a week.”

“A week?!”

Now he really was going to lose his mind. It was good that Kyle wasn’t anywhere to be found in the lobby, at least. But Ryan’s patience was nonetheless running thin.

“That’s right. It’s a killer storm. A real barn-burner. Oh boy, I should hang some onions! We don’t get storms like this very often.”

That was just their luck. On the fourth day stuck inside the hotel (the fifth day overall since arriving), Ryan ran out of healing and reviving potions, so he could no longer have his Pokémon spar against one another. Now he was truly bored. There wasn’t much to do except watch re-runs of old Pokémon League battles. He half-hoped to see some of his own matches on the replays, but all that played were Hoenn and Unova matches, and since Ryan hardly knew the merits and flaws of the Pokémon from those regions (other than the obvious fact that most of them were as ugly as their trainers), he too grew bored with that.

On the fifth day of the great snowstorm, Ryan learned from Logan that the boy had lost his watch playing poker with those hooligans who never left that table in the corner of the lobby.

“I didn’t even know you wore a watch. Since when has that been a thing?”

“Aw, c’mon Ryan, don’t be like that. Can’t you do something about it? Maybe you could challenge them to a Pokémon battle for my watch!”

“Don’t be ridiculous, dude.”

“Pleeeeease?! This watch is super special! It was given to me by–”

He rolled his eyes. “Yeah, yeah, I know. Another gift from Granddaddy Clefable.”

“Nope. Falco gave it to me for teaching him how to rollerblade.”

“What did you just say?!”

“Falco gave me that watch for me teaching him how to rollerblade for the first time. It’s tricky, you know. He’d been trying to find his balance for years before I showed up.”

“You know, he prolly stole that watch from some poor helpless old lady or something…”

“Yeah, so?”

“I mean… whatever, dude. I just thought… I mean, I didn’t know you knew Falco really at all. I thought he randomly showed up that day I ran into you and tried to steal your Pokémon for the heck of it.”

Laughing dryly, Logan waved him off, “Oh, no, no, no, Ryan, don’t be silly. I’d run into that creep a few times before. He let me go the first time, when I gave him my strawberry sundae. But then he wanted more!”

“They always do. I just don’t see why he had any reason to give you a watch.”

“Hmmm… maybe because he’s not as bad a guy as he seems?”

“No, that can’t be it.”

Ryan got out of there as fast as he could, promising to return Logan’s most valuable possession to him by evening. But taking one look at the surly group of poker stars, one of whom was holding a rake, another of whom was dressed up as a big baby with a pacifier in his mouth, Ryan knew he had no chance of approaching them. They’re so out of my league. Like, what did Logan think he was getting into? They’re probably in the mob, or maybe the Painted Dragons!

He wasn’t scared of no dragons, no sir, but Ryan was a lazy bugger. It was the core of his being, a wonderful and horrible personality flaw, and clear evidence that he could never ever be considered a Gary Stu, not even if he were four years younger. The boy could take comfort in that fact.

But what he really took comfort in was the fact that they were selling cheap watches in the gift shop at the corner of the lobby. He had to pay probably four times what the little bit of plastic was worth, but he didn’t have to talk to those scary poker-playing dudes, so that was a win in his book.

Logan won’t even notice the difference, he thought to himself as he handed the Jynx at the cash register his card. I bet he won’t even remember what color his old watch was. He never wore it, so how could he? Ryan’s logic was perfection incarnate. He had nothing to worry about. He had completed this quest with minimal effort, and now he was satiated… or so he thought.

Returning to the lobby, the teal-haired boy noticed Kelly at the bar counter, her head in her hands, three empty glasses of the citrus variety laid before her like translucent bones. He sighed, knowing what he had to do. Half of his brain begged for him to take the lazy way out, and the other half screamed at him (via anxiety pummeling him in the stomach until he felt sick) to be a man. But I’m not a man. I’m fourteen. He had a million ways to rationalize this.

So?, another voice spoke up within him. Ryan knew at once that his subconscious was trying to deter his laziness, and that just made him despise his subconscious more than for not letting him lucid dream these past few weeks for no apparent reason. You either have results or excuses, not both.

It’s not an excuse, yo. I really am…

Silence. The rational part of him had said all it needed to, and he knew the anxiety he was feeling wasn’t the least bit healthy. There was nothing for him to do but go over to her and talk.

“Hey.”

“Oooohhhh, iss yooou, Rye-bread.”

She was much farther gone than he would have hoped.

“Look, I, uh, I’m just going to say, I mean, I just want to say, I didn’t mean to… I mean, I didn’t intend for what I said a couple days ago to sound as harsh as it did. That wasn’t my intention, Kelly. I was just trying to say that we all should stick together. We’re in this together, aren’t we? Logan and I came here with you because we want to help you. We… I mean I… care about you, I mean, not like that or anything, just we’re friends, ya know? We gotta be friends. I want things to go back to how they were, so I-I’m sorry, okay? It was a stupid thing for me to say, and I didn’t mean it.”

“I… I can’t believe yooou won the League, Rye-rye…!” she hiccuped, smiling innocently. “Thaaa was sooooooo… mmmm… cool.”

She exhaled that last word, sending shivers down his spine. He thought a thousand thoughts and none at once, and as she turned to face him, Ryan wondered if this was truly it, if he had done it. His fingers were tingling, his mind was racing, and he couldn’t see anything but her. There was Kelly and there was the world; Acapulco was just as far-off to his mind as the lobby.

She lurched towards him, and, like a good boy, a boy who would never make the first move, a pathetic boy, a weak boy, a sad example of the human race, he leaned in to meet her halfway. His movements unfolded on their own. Within his body was a sort of natural restraint that even now half-paralyzed him, but it wasn’t enough to stop his excitement.

I don’t care if the whole dang lot of Jynxs watch, he thought defiantly.

The girl fell against his shoulder. His neck twitched; he pulled back from the empty space awkwardly, as if he had meant to catch her. Her arms wrapped around his shoulders, and he shuddered, for an instant forgetting his tactless behavior. Madly, that irrational part of him tried once again to sooth him, to remind him that it wasn’t over, that he still had a chance, that this wasn’t an excuse, but reality.

Kelly whispered something half-garbled, half-slurred in his ear. Perhaps this wasn’t as romantic as in the movies, but he wasn’t going to complain. Ryan’s ears were growing hot with anticipation. He was beaming uncontrollably. And then the pink-haired girl tensed up, gripping him tight as a stuffed Snorlax, and vomited down the back of his shirt.

Episode 4: One-Way Ticket

If Ryan were ever lying in a hospital bed, sedated, riding that heavenly morphine wave, he’d want Nurse Joy to be his attendant. He would especially enjoy it if she locked the door and stuck Rapidash tranquilizer in his arm (though not too much, please). The boy would feel yorokobi then, and only then, he knew.

“Hey Ryan, you ready to go?”

“Huh?” He shook his head, breaking out of his daydream with some difficulty. Blinking, Ryan’s vision honed in on the pack of Growlithe, led by an Alpha Arcanine, bounding down the street, unleashing flame-barks, melting away the storm’s deep imprint upon Kyrai. The Puppy (and Legendary) Pokémon were leading a sled holding the most beautiful Nurse Joy in the world. She kept yelling ‘Mush!’, and he felt like he was going to go the way of those snow sheets himself. “Ah, y-yeah, of course. Yeah, let’s do it.”

The storm had lasted five days. Most of Kyrai was yet buried. Joy and her pack had only just begun their work. Ever-present and looming, Pagan Kim’s castle mansion could be seen off in the distance, in the shadow of the mountains, the snow having not touched its walls or parapets. I bet he had his guards clean everything off every single day. Must’ve sucked for them to be out in the cold kicking snow from the walls. But that’s what they signed up for. If you don’t want to be taken advantage of, don’t become a tyrant’s servant. That was the only lesson Ryan had learned on this trip so far, and he was not expecting to learn anything else.

Still as the dawn, Kelly would not look at Ryan. Her eyes were ever on that mansion. I wonder how much she remembers. She didn’t seem to remember what happened at Cinnabar Island. It’s something to tell someone you love them, of course. But it’s a-whole-nother can of Lekgolo to vomit on someone. When you vomit on someone, it’s like beating their Charizard with your Parasect, like eating a plate of cereal without any milk and with a fork, like beating Chemical Plant Zone II in forty seconds. He detected some measure of awareness in her indifference, or maybe that was just the cold.

The man who owned the hotel was apologizing profusely to everyone as they left. He was an alright guy, Ryan thought, but he did kind of look like a Breloom suffering an allergic reaction. The poker players were gathered outside the hotel, passing around a basketball and shooting it at random (there was no hoop to be seen), and making prop bets about the size of each other’s hands. Suddenly, from behind, Kyle appeared, his goatee flowing in the wind, his head bowed, a stuffed backpack, army green, thrust over his shoulders, his nose buried in his phone.

“I did not hit her, it’s not true. It’s Tauros kuso. I did not hit her! I did not… Oh, hi Mark,” he mumbled, not looking up.

“Ryan.”

“Ah, oh, right, okay.”

He walked down the road, never stopping. Ryan noticed that he was looking up the definition of ‘thicc’ on urbandictionary and decided it was best to let the guy go so that he would never see him again.

The hotel owner offered them additional free meals, which was quite nice of him, considering they were the only group that wasn’t checking out of the hotel that day. They’d have the lobby to themselves, which could be a good thing or a bad thing. For now, anyways, the day was young, and there was much to do. Having been cooped up for so long in there, the teenagers were itching to get on with their journey.

Stopping by the Pokémon Center briefly, they healed their Pokémon and stocked up on as many supplies as they could for the battles ahead. Pagan’s got twenty-seven guards left, not to mention his own team of Pokémon, including that Zapdos we’ve heard so much about. We’ve gotta be prepared, yo.

Strangely, the Pokémon Center was rather low on healing potions, so they were only able to buy and two max heals each. When he asked the guy behind the register why that was, the man just stared back at him blankly, as if there had been no dialogue programmed into his memory banks for this specific encounter.

They waited an hour or so, Logan chatting with the Chansey behind the counter filling in for Joy (though his Chansey was considerably worse than his Clefairy, Ryan could tell, even though he himself couldn’t speak a word of that beautiful alien language), Kelly munching on energy bars and pretending to read outdated magazines in the lounge area, and Ryan practicing stretches to allow him to touch his toes without bending his knees, which was, as one would guess, his life’s goal.

There was no mention of the previous night, of Kelly’s violent expulsion all over his clothes (luckily he hadn’t been wearing his gortex jacket at the time, or else he’d be really screwed), nor of what she had said to him just before. He wasn’t sure if he needed to apologize again or not, but considering repetition is a dull affair, he decided against such tomfoolery.

Once their Pokémon were healed, they set off for Pagan Kim’s mansion. Ryan did not replace Katagiri’s spot on his team in case he needed to retrieve his Frogadier before returning to the Pokémon Center. One could never be sure. He knew Mega Thurnax would be able to pick up the slack, though.

It was a wet and windy day. Aside from Nurse Joy and her fire-hounds, nary a bystander or royal guard was to be found walking the streets of Kyrai. They arrived outside the gates of the mansion not long after; the eeriness of those imposing walls, draped in ice, frigid and regal and remote. Unburdened by the ever-changing features of the world, Kim’s manse was a testament to the sway he held over the town. There’s no Officer Jenny here, Ryan realized. His guards are the police… guess they couldn’t take Joy’s place, though. Thank Mew for that. At least one of them survived his takeover.

“So what now?” Logan asked.

A locked metal gate was blocking their entry inside.

“Kim! I’m back! Come out and face me, you coward!” Kelly yelled at the gate.

Instinctively, Ryan rushed over to her, putting his hand over her mouth and pulling the girl away. “Whoa, settle down Kelly. We’ll have his whole army on us if you keep that up!”

“Get offa me!” She used Struggle, which was, unsurprisingly, super effective against Ryan. “We’ll have to get through them all no matter what. Kim’s a wimp!!” She shouted that last word. “Why are you so scared all of a sudden? His soldiers aren’t anything we can’t handle.”

“We shouldn’t take any unnecessary risks.”

“Bah! What a loser! Come out and face us, Kim! Stop hiding!”

There was no response from the gate.

“We should check if there’s a back door or something. Maybe we can sneak in somehow and catch him unaware.”

“There aren’t any back doors. I know this place. It’s secure. There’s one way in and one way out. There’s guards behind that gate… but for some reason they aren’t coming out to face us. We need them to if we are going to get in there.”

“Why won’t they come out? Those guys we met before were pretty aggressive. I thought–”

“They know me. They know I want to get in there. That’s all I can think of. Kim must have ordered them to not let me in, no matter what. So be it. We’ll just have to coax them into coming out. Fine then. If that’s how it’ll have to be, that’s how it’ll have to be.”

A Poké Ball was in her hand, a determined look on her face. “Go, Pepper!”

Out flew an adult Pelipper, moving clumsily as Thomas Müller in a clear goal-scoring opportunity. Without warning, it began to rain, the droplets quickly freezing into to hail and frost as they rained down around the teenagers. Without wasting a breath, Kelly took an umbrella out from her bag. It was big enough to keep all three of them dry, thankfully. That was nice of her.

“Whoa… when did you catch that ‘mon, Kelly?”

“Now is not the time, Ryan.”

“Huh?”

“Bring out your Dragonite to help Pepper tear down this wall!”

She really does want to get in there. Crap, we’re going in deep. Well, this is what I signed up for, so oh well.

Thurnax joined Kelly’s Water Bird Pokémon in a flash of light.

“Logan, do you have any Wallbreakers on your team?”

“What’s a Wallbreaker?”

She shook her head in irritation. “That’ll be a no. It doesn’t matter. You two, go on!” she commanded the Pokémon. “Break through that wall! Use all of your strength! Pepper, use Hydro Pump on it!”

“Mega Thurnax time yo! Let’s goooooooo!” Ryan sang, pulling out his antique pocket watch and activating the Mega Stone within.

His Thurnax’s skin turned a vibrant blue, a horn grew from her head, and her wings became like cartoon clouds, all puffy and cute. But his Thurnax was no gentle beast. She was a killing machine, a dragon of such raw potential that even the ancient Valyrians would’ve been awed by her sheer force of will.

“Earthquake, Thurnax!” Ryan commanded, thinking, like any person would, that an Earthquake would be super effective against a real wall.

The water blast flew at the wall with whistling speed. Earthquake shook the ground. But neither attack hit. The rumbling churned up the ground around the wall, but the wall remained untouched. A faint pink energy barrier flashed into existence as the Earthquake attempted to make contact with it; the power of that barrier was easily enough to repel Thurnax’s attack. So too did the Pelipper’s Hydro Pump explode in midair, washing down the invisible barrier uselessly.

“What the…? When did he install that?” Kelly looked lost.

“Extreme Speed!” Ryan shouted, not giving up.

His Dragonite crashed against the barrier and was thrown back, wincing. This is so cheap. I don’t like this one bit. It’s no fair. Nobody with a castle that big deserves an energy barrier around it. That’s some serious overkill, yo. This defensive overkill was suspicious indeed, but Ryan was more surprised that Kelly had not anticipated it.

“It’s no use. We can’t get through,” Kelly sighed, returning Pepper and ending that brief rainstorm. “He thought of everything. I have to give him credit. He knew we were coming. He probably only put this barrier up after we arrived and fought his guards… that may explain why the blizzard didn’t bury his house like all the rest.”

“But if that’s true, then how are we supposed to get through? Thurnax is my strongest Pokémon, Kelly. If she can’t make a dent in that wall, we ca–”

“I know. Fine, let’s go.”

“Where to, Kelly?” Logan asked sheepishly.

“That store… last time we were there, the store owner mentioned something I want to follow up on. That’s our last shot. If this doesn’t pan out…”

“We’ll stake out at the gate and wait for him to make another grand appearance in that fancy limo of his,” Ryan said quickly. “We’ll get him, Kelly. Don’t worry. One way or another, Pagan’s going down in flames.”

Their eyes locked; her expression was fleeting; melting frost ran down his chin and neck. The sun was on her face as she spun around in embarrassment and marched off down the road, forcing the boys to run after her lest they be left behind.


She flapped her wings, attempting to escape from his Water Pulse at the last second, but one cannot simply dodge moves in the Pokémon world. That would be unrealistic. The Volcarona cried out in anguish as she was drenched, falling to the ground limply.

Katagiri adjusted the Power Lens goggles he was wearing before beating his chest and croaking triumphantly. This was a marvelous victory, and he was the best. A tense prickling feeling passed through his body; the Pokémon shivered, swallowing, quelling the feeling. Not before Master returns. That would be too anticlimactic.

Qiang clapped his hands once, and Katagiri jumped out of the fighting stage dutifully. He had learned that any lethargy on his part would result in extra laps to run or opponents to fight. His body throbbing from the strain, Katagiri was none too keen to endure anything extra. Days had passed since he’d run the inaugural course under Hilda’s command, and though he had become wiser and stronger and quicker and sharper since then, so too had he become more tired.

Qiang sprayed him in the face with a Max Heal; he moved into the stage and used a Max Revive on the fallen Volcarona. Though these magical potions were able to instantly heal Katagiri and the other acolytes, it never seemed to entirely heal him. He felt refreshed, but not so much as he did after getting a good afternoon’s sleep in Ryan’s backpack. Additionally, the constant pressure of increasing his Speed and Special Attack EVs through a variety of monotonous tasks and battles was not doing much for his mind. He was burned out, through and through, and it was only the fifth day. It had been wonderful to learn that due to his nature, he was an usually speedy Frogadier. He usually moved first in battles. But running so many obstacle courses to build up his Speed Evs took a lot of effort, and the pressure and strain was starting to overwhelm him.

“Not bad. Saru is a level 40 Volcarona, and you had no problem with her. That’s not as easy as it looks. You must have leveled up a few more times since I last directed you.”

“Oh yes, of course. Lady Hilda and I have nearly maxed out my Speed EVs. It’s really nothing. I am merely a precocious boy.” Katagiri bowed formally, chewing on bubbles.

“Your owner paid a lot to get you through an accelerated course. I do not like disappointing my customers, and I will make sure you end up as strong as possible before we return you to him. For that reason, I have devised a new test for you, Katagiri. Are you ready?”

“No sir, not even in the slightest. I would like to sleep a little longer, and mayhaps sup on flies and pond muck for elevensies. And while we’re at it, why not take the rest of the day off?”

“Well then, follow me.”

Some days, Katagiri thought Qiang understood him–perhaps ever so slightly more than Hilda did. But today was not one of those days. The man with the short black hair and equally black uniform led him into the darkness. It was more humid than Katagiri would have expected in the next room they entered, a room the Bubble Frog Pokémon had never seen before. Laid before him was a dark pool, stalactites creeping in from the blackness overhead. How deep that pool was, he could not tell, but it was as calm as a paralyzed Weedle.

Qiang was neither tall nor short in Katagiri’s estimation, though he lorded over the squatting boy in an intimidating way. “Before we begin, you’ll need this.” He held up a white canister, entirely bereft of markings or symbols. “This is Dark Pulse. You will need to forget a move to use it.”

“Oh, drat! I very much like my moves, sir.”

“Bubble is your least-valuable move. It’s redundant with Water Pulse, which itself will become obsolete after you learn Hydro Pump. Are you ready to learn a new move?”

“But I love Bubble. It is my favorite move. I very much enjoy making bubbles, Qiang, please don’t make me forget…!”

The human seemed to understand Katagiri’s reservations. “You have to do this if you want to get stronger. You can stay as you are and keep Bubble, but Ryan would have made you learn a new move to replace it soon enough anyways. Do you want to disappoint him or not?”

There ain’t no time for sadness in boot camp. Katagiri’s obligations were to Ryan, not to anyone else. If this was for the best, he would do it. Alakazam made a sacrifice. We all have to if we want to become our best possible selves. “Very well, proceed.”

He thrust his chest out like a little fancypants, looking away as Qiang sprayed him with TM97. It was as if a computer had flashed into being inside his mind, asking him if he wanted to forget a move. Why yes he did, that was very polite of the mysterious voice in his head to ask. Which move did he want to forget? Why, Bubble of course, that most useless of moves, that novice move he’d known since Level 5. He blinked, tasted a clean and potent taste, not unlike chlorine, and knew how to use Dark Pulse. No longer could he use Bubble, unless he wanted to, but this was a very serious place he was staying at, and if he ever used more than four moves (the maximum any Pokémon could ever remember, as the humans thought), he’d be kicked out for sure. Best to leave those shenanigans until after he graduated.

Holding a remote control, the man whistled for Katagiri to make his way to the edge of the pool. The flood of new information left the Water Pokémon invigorated. He was ready to go.

“One more thing, Katagiri. Wear these,” Qiang commanded, tossing him a pair of sunglasses.

“This is absurd, unnatural, highly illogical!” Katagiri lamented. “I am already wearing these queer Power Lens you gave me. How can I wear both at the same time?”

“There’s a magnetic strap on the sides of the glasses. I’ve modified them to work with your Power Lens. Don’t worry. Just place them over your eyes, and you’ll be good to go. Wearing those glasses will make your Special Attack much stronger than before. However, you will only be able to use one attack per battle. Choose wisely, or you will lose.”

This was all so magical and silly, Katagiri thought. How could wearing sunglasses make his attacks do more damage? He placed them over his eyes, and suddenly, everything went hazy–blues and greens and yellows seemed to pop out of the darkness as they never had before. Everything was so vibrant, dusty and misty, but not heavy. It was like he was swimming through a dreamworld, only he had full control over his body.

How come I can understand you, and you cannot understand a word I say? Katagiri eyed the human, whose skin appeared green behind these choicest of specs. Why do you get to be the masters? We’re stronger, smarter, faster, and we can evolve. All you do is get a little taller over time, and sometimes thicker around the belly, Katagiri thought, remembering Rahul. I’ll show you the full capabilities of a Pokémon, human scum!

He was feeling impulsively bold. It was time to begin.

A metal cage descended from the cave ceiling, tapered into many cubes arranged in a line like a Rayquaza made out of pixels. The lake spit foam and rippled deeply as the line of boxes settled over it. The nearest wall slid open; Qiang whistled him inside. There was no time to lollygag. This was serious business.

Katagiri skidded to a stop when he reached the nearest floating platform inside. A second floating platform was located on the other side of the cube. This is another battle stage. I get it. A big fat Magmortar stood on that platform, beckoning him to begin the battle.

“Ey there, little froggy froggy. Come to burn? Want a taste of my flames, laddie?”

“No sir, that sounds like a terrible idea. I would like to humbly pass on such fancies.”

The door behind, leading back to the shore, closed abruptly. The lake began to return to its steadfast calm from before, the floating platforms beneath their feet bobbing less and less with each ripple. Between the platforms, the dark pool stretched for maybe three feet. Katagiri couldn’t run now even if he wanted to. If I dived down there and escaped, what would be my punishment? Cheesing a test like this would do him no favors, he knew. There was only one way forward.

“You may think my name is Joshua, but trust me, I’m too old for that nonsense.”

“I never asked you that, and I never would,” Katagiri replied politely.

“My name’s Bubba… Bubba Snookums, and this right here’s your last stop, Froggy!”

Water beats fire. He’d known that since the day he was born. If he hadn’t known that, he would be the worst Frogadier in the world, and he wasn’t the worst Frogadier in the world. That would be a ridiculous, nonsensical assumption, even for a young boy lacking self-confidence like Katagiri.

“Try this, tubby!”

He conjured up a ball of water before his hands, contorted it into something he could throw, and launched his attack before Bubba could so much as kindle a flame between his teeth. The Water Pulse crashed into him, soaking the Blast Pokémon, but not destroying him.

“That hurt, you sniveling noisebox! Now… get cooked, son!”

Flames cascaded around the enclosed cube; there was nowhere to run. He wanted to dive into the water, but Bubba’s Fire Blast was already enwrapped around him, heating his body up to an uncomfortable level. He felt himself rising from the platform, felt his energy sapping, his body trembling under the pressure, and then he was dropped, and the world cooled again.

I must stay focused. I have to attack him, or he’ll get me again. Pokémon, with some exceptions, attack one another one after the other, the order being determined by their speed. It is considered rude in the Pokémon world to use two attacks in a row before allowing one’s opponent to retaliate. For a fire attack, for an attack he resisted, that Fire Blast hurt. He must be a very high level Magmortar… maybe around that Volcarona’s level, or even higher!

He couldn’t withstand another Fire Blast of that magnitude. These choice specs had already locked him in to Water Pulse. It’s not spamming if you don’t have a choice. Again, a ball of water formed before him. He caught it, aimed it, and threw it. Magmortar was hit again, the water soaking his body, rushing over him with such force that he flew off his platform into the wall before dropping into the lake.

Katagiri was going to wait for him, but the far door was raised, indicating he should move on. As he passed through the door, a floating Max Heal descended from the ceiling and sprayed him in the face clumsily. Humiliating though this was, he felt refreshed, his confidence returning. So this is how it’s going to be? Okay, I understand. That was nice of that Qiang human.

Inside the next room was a Gardevoir. She said nothing to Katagiri, so he hit her with an Ice Beam. After taking a Psyshock hard, he retaliated with another Ice Beam and dropped her easily–almost too easily. Though his opponents were doing tremendous damage to him whenever they hit him with something, he was faster, and that was all that mattered, it seemed.

Another Max Heal was waiting for him in the door to the third room. It got him in the face real good, and he was whole again, or something.

The least-impressive Pokémon awaited Katagiri in the next room. “Greetings, Frog-kun, my name is Arsène!” the left scoop of this particular Vanilluxe sang.

“And I’m Wenger!” screeched the right scoop (a decidedly lumpy scoop of Vanilluxe in Katagiri’s estimation). “I don’t have arms, but if I did, they would not be able to readily find my pockets.”

“Why would anyone name you that?” Katagiri asked?

“Blizzard time, whoo-eeaaah!”

Indeed, a Blizzard began to form about them, but before it could really get started, Katagiri decided to blast his Dark Pulse at the loudmouth ice cream cone. He was, of course, faster than the two-scooper. The purple beam of energy was randomly filled with dark hoops of energy that didn’t seem to do anything except look ugly, but when the beam hit the Vanilluxe, both scoops screamed in pain. That wasn’t enough to stop them, however.

After just being cooked up real nice, being torn to icy ribbons by a Blizzard was a nice feeling, Katagiri thought. He wondered sometimes what the point of this was. Was he really getting better by simply being able to survive hits that were impossible to dodge? It wasn’t like he could have dove under the water to escape the Blizzard. That would be cheating. That would ruin the perfect dynamics of a classic Pokémon battle.

But one more Dark Pulse sent Vanilluxe falling into the dark waters, where he would inevitably melt and never be heard from again. It was real sad.

Getting mist-sprayed by the Max Heal made him all tingly every time. It was an odd feeling, but not as unpleasant as he would have expected. If anything, Katagiri was starting to understand how to ride that pleasure wave.

“I’m a Beautifly, look at me fly! Whee!!”

Katagiri was a well-trained pupil allegedly. He knew, like any good baby frog boy, that Flying ‘mons hated ice. “Take this ya multicolored disappointment!”

Bam, down she went. The next door opened. He didn’t even need that Max Heal, but he took it anyways, cuz sometimes you gotta indulge a little.

“I’m an Electric Dragon! Feel the wrath of my Volt Switch!” declared the finely-groomed Ampharos. “You don’t want to wake the dragon do you? You know what happens when you wake the dragon, little froggy?! Well, do you?”

“Probably something shocking.” Katagiri bowed and bowed, imagining the crowd going wild. Once upon a time, he’d had a dream that he’d played Moonlight Sonata for a whole theater of humans and assorted Pokémon, and after it was over, he had decided that he was too cool for bowing and just ran out of there. But a fancyboy learns as he lives, so he would never make the same mistake twice. Qiang had instilled such a belief in him probably.

“You stole my punchline, you worm-eating bubble hopper!!”

“Watch this, dragon guy. You know, for some reason, dragons seem to hate ice as much as birds. But if we’re being logical about it, poison seems more a dragon’s crutch, no?”

“Volt Switch!”

“Ice Beam!”

Katagiri was fast. He was always fast. He was a fast boy who rarely ever went second, even against opponents who were higher levels than him.

Ice Beam spun around Ampharos, encasing him in a wall of ice. “It’s about time!” Katagiri yelled triumphantly. “How many times did I have to use that move before the 10% chance finally kicked in?”

Ampharos, alas, could not respond, being encased in a pristine cube of ice. Katagiri finished him off with another Ice Beam, sending the cube tumbling off the platform and into the lake.

In the sixth room stood a proud and rotund Gengar. “Gengar gengar!” he grinned.

At one time, a mere Abra had taken on a Gengar in a tournament. He too would be facing this wicked beast now (that the Gengar Abra had faced had likely been a higher level than this bloke was of no consequence to him). Katagiri’s thoughts drifted to Alakazam. No fear. He beat a Ghost Type when he was an Abra. That’s amazing. If I’m going to become Ryan’s best, I must do the same!

“Frogadier frogadier frogadier,” Katagiri replied, mimicking the style his master used when trying to talk to him. “You do know, good sir, that I am a Pokémon like you, and thus I can inherently understand your language without needing any translation software.”

“Gengar gengar! Geng geng geng!”

Dark beats Ghost. See ya, big guy. He moved forward with blinding speed; yet, his neck was starting to hurt from the combined weight of his specs and the Power Lens. His speed was perhaps waning. The Bubble Frog Pokémon couldn’t tell. Gengar was a quick ‘mon, a ‘mon that Katagiri sometimes had nightmares about, although they always involved long licking sessions and little else. This Gengar hardly did anything but grin, and it creeped Katagiri the heck out.

He wasn’t fully evolved yet, but that didn’t matter. All that mattered was Katagiri had heart. It was poetic and beautiful, and a tear should be brought to every reader’s eye just thinking about this noble froggy going up against the tall, frightening Shadow Pokémon.

Dark Pulse shot from Katagiri’s hand, hitting Gengar in the face.

“Gengar… geng… ar…”

Smiling broadly, he fell on his face.

That was three wins in a row without getting hit. All these Max Heals were getting wasted. Qiang wouldn’t know. Shame.

Buzzing softly, a Magnezone awaited him in the next room. Oh boy, not another Electric Type. Why do there gotta be so many of these? Qiang’s giving me the hardest ones! The human’s dishonorable actions notwithstanding, Katagiri knew if this guy had an electric move (and he did), he could easily OHKO the poor boy.

“Hello there.”

“Wow. Wow. Wow. Wow. Wow! Wow. Wow.” Magnezone’s voice was robotic and metallic and sent a cold shiver down Katagiri’s spine.

Steel resists Ice. I understand. I have but one move to attempt.

“Dark Pulse!”

“Thunderbolt, choo-po.”

Katagiri’s attack hit first, but it didn’t take down Magnezone. Now the fear set in, and it set in quick. Not knowing what to do (dodging would be out of the question), Katagiri dove head-first into the lake, swimming down at least twenty feet to make sure the Thunderbolt wouldn’t hit him. It was cold in that lake, murky, devoid of life and light. There were no signs of the Pokémon he had sent on deep dives, either. Regaining his composure, Katagiri worked out what he would do when he surfaced again:

Before he sees me or knows what to do, I’ll blast him with another Dark Pulse and that’ll be that. There’s no way he can survive two of those, is there?

If there was, this was the end of the road. But Katagiri was feeling it. He’d not had a lot of successful sprees since coming here, and particularly the last few days, he’d lost more than he’d won. The Bubble Frog Pokémon wasn’t about to give up. He was a freakin’ Protean Frogadier for Chrimbus’ sake.

“Dark Pulse!” he screamed dramatically, shooting out of the water in a spire of foam and bubbles, causing the floating platforms to bob and shake severely. Magnezone let out a whirling sound and twisted suddenly, as if he were flinching in fright, and fell to the ground, though neither unconscious nor paralyzed. Katagiri had no idea what was going on. His foe dropped his Thunderbolt, causing it to explode against the ground. The young boy hopped into the air, doing a front-flip to miss it, and landed right in front of the cowering Magnezone.

The second Dark Pulse did what the first could not, and the next gate opened.

This isn’t so bad. I’m so good at this!

Katagiri beat his chest and croaked mightily before hopping into the next room. He was starting to get the crazy arms of extreme excitement. He had to be careful and focus on the task at hand. I can celebrate once they’re all knocked out, he reminded himself.

Floating on the other side of the room was a dubious-looking Porygon, birdlike, with what looked like balloons for arms.

“Hello, I’m Katagiri,” said Katagiri politely.

“Ice Beam!”

“Oh yeah?! Ice Beam right back at ya!”

He jumped to the air, and Porygon-Z likewise began to fly. They traded attacks, both missing wide to the right, exploding in the water, sending rapidly-forming hail into air. Katagiri landed on Porygon’s platform.

“Ice Beam!” Porygon droned.

“Take this, you normie!”

That time, each Ice Beam made contact, and they each hurt like a mother Kanga. Porygon hardly reacted, simply returning to the ground to face Katagiri again and noting that he would be using Ice Beam for a third time. So too would Katagiri, praise Choice Specs.

“You’re too slow. See ya, faker.”

For the first time in a long time, Katagiri enjoyed the crisp spray of Max Heal upon his face.

“Mmmm, I’m a glorious, shameful pasty chef, ho ho!” the Clawitzer (who had a big blue claw, it needs to be said), taunted him from the next battle stage. “Chef… Custardio Crevette, mmm, yes, yes, nice ‘n good, elegant, don’t you agree?”

“Hello there, my name’s Katagiri. Want to battle?”

“Not at all! Let’s get cookin’, eh?”

“Well too bad, we’re both stuck in this cage, shrimp boy!”

“Don’t you ever call me that, I’ll boil your frog legs and dip them in chocolate!”

Never use an Ice attack against Water. Ice melts in water. Easy. I knew that. Silly Katagiri.

An explosion of grand scale went off as the Dark Pulse hit Custiardo right in the crink of the shell. Not to be outdone, he retaliated with a familiar-looking Water Pulse attack, washing Katagiri off his platform and into the lake again. That hurt far more than he would have expected. This Clawitzer is stronger than he lets on. I gotta be careful and end it now!

He didn’t like to miss his attacks, so he aimed real careful and made sure the next Dark Pulse wasn’t his last. The good chef fell backwards, his claw raised, unconscious, drool leaking down the side of his mouth.

Methinks he needs to get back to the kitchen. “You were pretty close, but you weren’t fast enough for me!”

The next Max Heal left him light-headed.

“Well, well, well. Look who it is.”

That Charizard was massive. He could’ve swallowed Katagiri in one bite.

“Hello sir, I’m Katagiri.”

“I am Meraxes, the Gatekeeper. You have done well to make it this far. Bu–”

“Yes, yes, I know, it’s the end of the line. You’ll be the one to end me, etc., etc.”

A wisp of flames flared around his nostrils. “That’s right. Feel the power of my Focus Blast!”

Bright blue and radiating heat, the ball of energy formed faster than Katagiri could see. It was shooting at him before he could conjure up a Water Pulse. He’s faster than me? Huh? How can that be? But it was, and he lacked the awareness to jump aside (such awareness is beyond even a master’s abilities). This was worse than legendary difficulty.

The force of the impact sent him flying into one of the metal walls. That hurt a tad. He was seeing stars popping before his eyes like bog flies. He went under the water, inhaling deeply, feeling the crippling pain shake his body and send him to the brink of unconsciousness. It was a numbing feeling, a detaching feeling, and the pain signals had nowhere to go but directly to his brain.

Surfacing, Katagiri found the Charizard standing on the edge of the platform, arms crossed, looking away arrogantly. That’s no way to treat a Protean Frogadier, he suddenly thought, and the wave he then formed spiraled out his hands like a headless cyclone.

Meraxes was washed away, and the far gate opened.

“Huh? Gosh, that was easy…”

He could hardly believe it. Limping to the door, Katagiri realized there were no more compartments. He was looking out at the shore of the other side of the lake, Qiang standing before him, whistle in his mouth. There was no Max Heal this time.

“You took that challenge lightly. Of all the recruits I sent through there today, you had the third slowest time, Katagiri! That’s too bad. As punishment, you are to run five laps around the lake… but only after you do one hundred push-ups!”

“Please, can’t I have a healing potion?” Katagiri croaked feebly, falling to his knees.

The whistle was shrill and impatient. “No whining! You will obey me, or you will be forced to run ten laps around the lake!”

Closing his eyes, Katagiri first saw that Gengar, then Alakazam, then Ryan, then that mushroom-looking Pokémon from his first day here. He wasn’t about to feel that level of shame again. I won’t, I won’t, I won’t… he told himself with every push-up, the whistle ringing fervently in his ear.

This was not a punishment, he knew. This is to surprise Ryan. If they don’t think I can get that strong, then they’re all going to be in for a big shock. His determination became his drive, and with it, the pain in his arms and legs became nothing he needed to focus on, nothing he must let rule him.

Pain is temporary; shame never goes away. He bit his tongue, knowing that while Qiang would never congratulate him for beating ten fearsome Pokémon in a row, he had done good. It wasn’t quite winning the Indigo League, sure, but then again, what the heck was?


Nurse Joy and her Growlithe had done good to melt most of the snow away. Kyrai almost looked like it had been reborn. The rooftops were glowing, and the convenience store that they had checked out on their first day here had been cleared too, showing off its relatively modern lavender walls. It looked slightly out of place in comparison to the rest of old, wooden, dreary Kyrai, almost as if it were the newest building in the town. Indeed, what appeared to be a Hot Springs was next to it, but its walls were decayed and sagging, its roof nearly caved in.

Most buildings in Kyrai were not so old, however.

They found the old woman at her usual post, reading the Kyrai Daily. What the heck could she be reading? Nothing happens in this town. How do they even have enough content to print one page of news? She was sipping coffee and lurched when they entered, but upon recognizing them, her face softened and her shoulders relaxed.

“Oh hello you three. I wasn’t sure you were still in town.”

“We were snowed in from the storm,” Logan replied. “It was an awfully bad one!”

“Oh, storms like that are a dime a dozen ‘round these parts, boy. When I was a girl, I once spent an entire summer snowed in. That was nothing, I tell you. My grandparents used to tell me about how entire years would pass and people could hardly ever go outside due to the storms. Heh, those were the days…” She glanced at Ryan. “Ah, I see you’re still wearing that jacket. It’s good material, warm and cozy, eh?”

He was drumming his fingers on the counter impatiently. “Yeah, sure, but this conversation is leading nowhere, so how about we pick it up?”

She was taken aback. “Wh-what exactly do you need, children?”

“Where are Pagan Kim’s men?” Kelly asked pointedly. “I need to know where any groups out on patrol usually go.”

“Why?”

“We’re need their passkeys to the mansion.”

“And why–”

“Look, Pagan Kim’s got a stranglehold on this town. If you want that to end, you’re going to have to help us. Or, things can keep going on like they have been. You seemed pretty terrified by them last time we came here, thinking we were more guards. That’s not a healthy way to live, is it?”

“No, I wouldn’t say so.”

“Ryan’s the Indigo League Champion.” She said that with pride, he noticed. “We’re not some dumb kids. We know what we’re doing. We’re going to stop Kim and his lackeys for good, but we can only do that if we can get into his mansion.”

“Yes, I understand. It’s just in my nature to worry about kids… especially since my own… well, pardon me. I shouldn’t get into that. Anyways, I don’t know where his men are. They made the rounds earlier this morning, collecting their monthly fees. There have been rumors that… ah dear, I can’t substantiate these, but, there have been rumors that Mr. Kimothy and his men are conducting tests outside of town to the north, in the shadow of the mountains. Nobody knows what they’re looking for out there. I assumed it had something to do with the river drying up, but nobody’s been able to prove anything…”

“Thanks. We’ll go check and see if they’re out there.”

Nice, she’s a proper Adrian Monk with this pedantic sleuthing. Maybe we could get to the interesting part if they would just stop talking so much…

“Whoa, what’s that?” Ryan suddenly spoke up, pointing to a mini doll propped up against the cash register.

The woman was quiet for a moment. It seemed very much like she was collecting her thoughts, deciding (amongst two or three radically different options) what to say. “Give it a squeeze, boy.”

He did. He was a darn good squeezer, he noticed. The bobblehead was clearly of Pagan Kim. He wore a pink suit, a half-smirk, and was holding his favorite brand of cigar. When Ryan squeezed the head, he began to speak.

“Pagan Kim here. Remember, citizens of Kyrai, always pay your taxes, and if I catch whoever’s painting graffiti on my walls, I have a few choice words to say with the people responsible.”

“Neat.”

Ryan had to squeeze it again. Pagan’s head was just too dang squishy.

“This is Pagan Kim, and I am not pleased. It appears that someone has been littering in the streets. I will not have this. My beautiful city will not be tarnished by some Tepig-wannabe. If anyone is caught littering from here on out, they will be subject to the most severe of punishments.”

“What kind of punishments is he talking about?”

She shook her head. “Ah, I’ll leave that up to your imagination. He is a dangerous man, Pagan Kim. Watch yourselves out there, children. Don’t let him get you.”

Kelly was playing with a strand of her hair, twirling it between her forefinger and thumb over and back, over and back. Is she bored too? A boy could hope. “We won’t. Not this time. There’s no chance of that. We’ll be back after we’ve dealt with him.”

She sipped her coffee. “I look forward to it. Mmm, and before I forget, I must ask: have you managed to discover the reason the Yukiotoko River has dried up?”

“Not yet. We’ll keep you posted.”

Ryan yawned as the door closed behind them. “We gonna go fight some baddies now, or what?”

“Stop being so impatient,” Kelly reprimanded him. “We’ll get there when we get there. The mansion isn’t going anywhere.”

“And what’s this about the river? Who cares about that?”

Logan shrugged. “That lady seemed nice. We should help her if we can.”

“Yeah, alright, whatever.”

This is getting annoying as heck. Soon we’ll be doing the hotel owner’s laundry. Ugh.

The sky had cleared and was as blue as a painting. He wondered how Katagiri was doing, and how Alakazam was doing, and even under a very fine gortex jacket, Ryan was starting to feel the cold of Kyrai in his bones.


“Now wait a second! Hold up.” Dr. Kneelin-In-Da-Grass Tyson was pacing before the dried-up Yukiotoko River. “With so much snowmelt around here, this river should be running hard–possibly even flooding the nearby region. There was a major storm just this week, wasn’t there?”

One of Kim’s guards was standing next to him, his arms folded, his face bundled up, shrouded in a black scarf. His arctic camo outfit was very similar to what the guards at the station had been wearing. “Yeah, so?”

“What I’m saying is, it doesn’t make sense. Logically-speaking, the melted snow has to go somewhere. Look at these tracks. They’re fresh. Maybe that has something to do with it.”

“It doesn’t.”

“Are you sure about that?”

“Look, just find out where they’re coming from, how many there are, and what they’re doing. You aren’t here to ramble on about the river, yeah?”

“All we know is they’ve been appearing around here, correct?”

“I already told you that. Stop stalling and get to work.”

“I don’t see exactly what I’m supposed to be doing here. Following tracks in the snow won’t get us anywhere.”

The rest of the patrol was returning over the hill. “Emperor Kimothy believes it’s an undocumented species of Ultra Beast.”

“Now hold up, hold up. That’s nonsense. Ultra Beasts are only found in Alola. Does this look like Alola to you?”

The soldier turned his back to them finally, pointing at the astrophysicist angrily. “Shut up! I’m not in the mood for your sarcasm, egghead!”

“It would be impossible to have a head that’s an egg, you know.”

“Until you think of something better, that’s what we’re going by. Do not mock Emperor Kimothy’s decrees, or I’ll take you to the dungeon, understand?”

The good doctor became rather fidgety. “Oh, yes, yes, don’t worry about that.”

Kelly poked her head up. Now it was her turn to point at the group of four soldiers approaching the scientist and the other guard. She muttered to Ryan and Logan, “Don’t let any of them get away. We just need one passkey. One of them has to have one. How else will they be able to return to the mansion if they don’t?”

“Maybe someone inside lets them in every time?”

“Quiet, Logan. That can’t be true. Don’t be ridiculous. Now… are you guys ready?”

Ryan shrugged. The faster we’re out of this frozen, miserable place, the better. “Don’t we have to save that doctor guy too?”

“Yeah, Ryan’s right, Kelly. Dr. Tyson is great. He’s special, you know. He’s a treasure!”

Kelly rolled her eyes. “He’s a grown man. He can take care of himself.”

“I wonder what happened to Dr. Kaku. Maybe they already put him in the dungeon.”

“That wouldn’t surprise me,” Ryan agreed. “He’s already shown himself to be quite a handful. I bet he tried to sass mouth the guards and they wouldn’t have it. Plus, he’s a weird dude.”

“Look–the others have returned.”

They had been hiding behind some snow and rocks and stuff just outside of town. Ahead was the mountain range where Ryan’s Frogadier was currently training to become the best there ever was. It was a shame he couldn’t be here to help take out Pagan Kim’s cannon fodder. Not to worry. Thurnax’ll make short work of them.

Kelly was like a girl possessed as she jumped up and ran down the snowy hill, sliding most of the way down the icy bank, releasing her shiny ‘Aichu before anyone had noticed. The soldier talking with Tyson had barely turned around when Kelly was upon them, shouting for him to hand over his mansion passkey.

“Not gonna happen,” the man laughed.

“‘Aichu, restrain him!”

“Not so fast!” the soldier responded, taking out a Poké Ball. “I’m Twelve, and what is this?! What are you trying to do?”

“Shut up and fight me.”

“Hah, you talk a big game, little girl. You’re going to regret this.”

A Throh was released from his ball. Ryan and Logan were running, cutting off the four remaining guards from regrouping with Twelve.

“You take those two, and I got those two, alright?” Ryan said, pointing first to the two to the left, then to the two to the right.

“Fine by me.”

“Go Thurnax!” Ryan was pondering who to pick to back her up when suddenly, Vorian’s ball split open, and out came his new Scizor. Was he reading my mind right there? What the heck?

“Chansey, Okinaro, I choose you!”

The guards stopped dead in their tracks. They were now close enough that Ryan could read the ranks sewed into their jackets just above the heart. Logan’s up against Twenty-One and Twenty-Seven. I’ve got Nineteen and Twenty-Nine. This shouldn’t be too bad.

“Who are you?! What’s going on here?” Nineteen roared. They all looked the same, bundled up in their scarfs. Frickin’ clones. Nineteen was a little taller than the rest, and Twenty-one was a little thicker than the rest, but otherwise, it was difficult to tell them apart.

“We’re here to stop you in your tracks! It’s time to duel! Fight us already, you silly, runny-nose cowards!”

A blizzard had grown around Logan and his foes, courtesy of his Ice Vulpix’s ability. An Altaria and Phanpy were sent out to face the Chansey and Vulpix. Ryan shivered, returning his focus to his own battle. Gotta make sure I take these two out first, he reminded himself, rubbing his gloved hands together. He hated the cold. It was far worse than getting bubblegum in your hair or stepping on a lego in the dark. His fingers were already numbing up, and it wasn’t even that cold out. It was a bright and sunny day for the most part, Okinaro’s arrival notwithstanding. The poor boy just wasn’t cut out for this kind of weather.

He was faced with a Houndoom and an Empoleon. “Vorian, take that doggy, and Thurnax, take that big stupid penguin-looking one, alright?”

“Scize!”

“Neuaah!”

Nineteen laughed. “After we beat you, we’re taking your Pokémon back to Emperor Kimothy. You’ll never see ‘em again. We’ll add them to great treasury, yeah baby!”

“That’s what you baddies always say. Don’t you ever have anything more interesting to say?”

Twenty-Nine had a thick voice, the kind of voice you’d expect of a man with a handlebar mustache. “It gives us joy to see you separated from the Pokémon you’ve been training. Hah, the injustice of it is enough to whet the appetite, if I do say so myself.”

“That’s enough jive from you, sir. Vorian, U-Turn! Thurnax, Earthquake!”

The guards yelled for their Pokémon to attack too, but Houndoom was slower than Scizor, and Empoleon was slower than tree sap. Scizor flew into the sky, gaining speed and clarity before returning down upon the barking mutt with an elegant backflip, slamming his claw against the Houndoom’s ear. With that single blow, Twenty-Eight’s ‘mon was defeated.

The ground was rumbling where Thurnax, blue-scaled and mega cool-looking, was approaching the penguin with a heart of steel. Empoleon simply cried out in pain as he was jarred about, slipping in the snow, and belly flopping as gracefully as a bag of goldfish spilling all over the wood floor.

“Man, for guards, you guys sure are weak. Got any more Pokémon you want to lose a battle with?”

“No, we only carry one apiece so battles won’t take too long,” Nineteen explained. “But, uh, seeing as we’re all out… come on, Twenty-Nine, let’s beat it!”

And off they ran. Logan took about four turns to defeat his foes, but after their Pokémon fell to the power of a meek-looking Vulpix, and a Pokémon that was basically never encountered outside of a Pokémon Center, so too did Twenty-One and Twenty-Seven flee after their comrades.

Logan did the Dance of Celebration upon his great victory, a really beautiful victory, the best victory he’d ever had, and Ryan was sad that he didn’t have his camera to document this stupendous event.

“I’ll send Thurnax after them, don’t worry. They won’t get far.”

“No need.” That was Kelly. She trudged through the snow, smiling deviously, a red plastic rectangle, no larger than a credit card, held up in one glove. “Found this on that Twelve guy.”

“Oh awesome! Did he scream a lot?”

“Once ‘Aichu paralyzed him, he didn’t do much of anything,” Kelly replied. “Oh, and that Tyson guy ran off down the river as soon as ‘Aichu took care of his Throh, so yeah. No clue what they were up to out here, but Twelve wouldn’t say anything. What did the others have to say?”

“Oh, we didn’t ask them,” Ryan replied dumbly.

“Nice job.”

“Thanks, Kelly, means a lot.”

She rolled her eyes. Why you gotta do this to me, Kelly? “Anyways, let’s stop by the Pokémon Center first. It’s getting late, so maybe it’d be best if we regrouped at the hotel so we can plan out what we’ll do once we’re inside the mansion. Twelve told me Kim’s not there right now, but he wouldn’t say where he went… if he’s not there when we bust in…”

“Will that be a problem?”

“Not really. I know where everything is.”

“Do you now? Do you have a map, Kelly? C’mon, show us!”

“No, Ryan. I’ve been there before, back when I was a girl. That’s a long story. It doesn’t matter. Anyways, I don’t want to get into that. Let’s go.”

“Whatever you say, m’lady,” Logan replied loyally with a bow. He is such a fancyboy sometimes, Ryan thought to himself. “So, we’re just letting them run off?”

“Once their Pokémon are defeated, they’re useless, and they’ll never appear again,” Kelly said wisely. “That’s the Rule of Every Evil Lord’s Lackey Behavior. Didn’t know you that already, Logan? I thought you helped Ryan stop the Painted Dragons.”

“Logan’s a bigtime idiot, Kelly, and don’t you forget it!” That’ll get through… it has to, Ryan thought hopefully, but all that happened was that Logan pegged him in the face with a snowball. It was the worst feeling in the world, feeling cold, or maybe getting thrown onto your back into even more snow due to the force of said snowball was worse.

I totally deserved that, he thought, but I wonder if she laughed… She had to have thought that was funny, didn’t she? He hadn’t been able to see, on account of Logan’s dirty, sneaky betrayal. Looking up, brushing snow from his eyes, Ryan saw only the haughty gaze of a girl who thought she was better than him. Looking away, he jumped back up, mumbled an apology to Logan (that he didn’t mean, of course), and followed them back to town, his mind blank, unable to come up with anything else to say.

Episode 5: Yetis aren't Real

The next morning, after breakfast, the three set out for Pagan Kim’s glorious palace. Kelly didn’t bother to knock. Running the stolen passkey through the wall’s key reader, she unlocked the gate. That was easy. Too easy. That’s an oversight. Kim shouldn’t have trusted his guards with passkeys if it’s so simple to get inside…

In the frost-glazed gateway stood a man with a breast-patch that identified him as Thirty, the bottom of the barrel. He was, without a doubt, the worst one. He was drinking a bottle of water when they burst in. Its label was blue, and referred to it as a Desi. Surprised, he began to choke on said water, dropping the bottle and attempting to run when Kelly released a Kingdra from a Poké Ball, who cut off the man’s escape.

Thirty was a pale man, a man with a scraggly beard, a man without a chin, just a mouth and a neck.

“Defend yourself, idiot!” Kelly bellowed.

The man cowered and shook. He’s not cut out for this job, yo. What’s he doing here? After a timid pause, the guard reluctantly threw his Poké Ball, revealing a Togekiss.

“Togekiss, the Jubilee Pokémon. It shares many blessings with people who respect one another's rights and avoid needless strife.”

“Bless you laddie, bless you,” Logan cried.

Thirty was on the verge of tears. His water bottle had fallen and spilled itself dry in the garden, and that was a dang shame. “Who the Darkrai are you people?”

“Hydro Pump!” Kelly ordered her mighty Kingdra.

“Drah!”

The Dragon Pokémon, aptly named, fired a jet of water from his nose cannon towards the dainty-looking Togekiss. Down went Togekiss; her master was swept away along with her, leaving only a puddle and a garden of ivy and ice in his wake.

“He must get his guards from the Dollar Store,” Ryan observed. “What a noob. And I thought the Painted Dragons were inept.”

Outside of the castle-like mansion was the aforementioned ivy garden. In the deep of winter, such a garden was little more than a tree graveyard. The pond was frozen, and most of the ivy had turned to icy veins. Ryan wondered when this garden could ever be in bloom if the town of Kyrai was perpetually in a state of winter. Why did he plant this crap here if he knew it wouldn’t survive the cold? Perhaps one time there had been a warm-enough day where the pond could have melted, but it was not this day.

They did not have much time to stand and gawk, however, for soon the sound of boots on stone could be heard, and before long, a band of guards had found them, surrounded them, and drawn their Poké Balls.

“State your names and purpose!” barked the leader of the guards, Eleven. He was almost as tall as he was wide, and he had enough chins for Ryan and Logan to both curl up inside of to keep warm. Nice. “What is the meaning of this? How did you get inside the emperor’s compound?!”

Kelly wasn’t in an answering mood. Brushing hair from her eyes, she simply said, “Shut up and fight.”

“Once your Pokémon are knocked out, that’s your cue to run away and never be seen again!” Logan instructed them.

“Not likely. You’re outnumbered! Come on, men, for the glory of Emperor Kimothy, turn back these rebel invaders!!”

Ryan decided to send out Little Kramer and Gothmog. The two guards he was facing, Twenty-Six and Twenty-Three, were not the most imposing of these un-imposing servants of Pagan Kim, so he wasn’t too worried. His Gligar and Combusken needed the experience, anyways.

Kelly took on Eleven’s Aegislash with her ‘Aichu, and Eighteen’s Absol with her Skarmory. Wow, she captured a whole team of new Pokémon after she left the Indigo League… I’m impressed. I wonder where she went to find all of her new buddies…

Logan used Florence the Seel to do battle against Twenty’s Magmar, and Echo the Scyther to fight Twenty-Five’s Sigilyph. All it took was one Aqua Jet to silence Magmar; Scyther absorbed a Psybeam before his second glowing purple X-Scissor attack felled the floating weirdly-colored pot-looking thing.

The air exploded with electricity as ‘Aichu wore down Aegislash. Her Skarmory easily crushed Eighteen’s Absol with a single Brave Bird.

That left Ryan to face off against his foes. Twenty-Six commanded a sleepy Komala. The Drowsing Pokémon Slammed his Combusken, doing tremendous damage, but Little Kramer responded emphatically with a glowing Focus Blast attack that knocked his foe unconscious without much trouble.

Gothmog, on the other hand, was having trouble with a Grumpig. Grumpig rammed into him hard with a Zen Headbutt attack, doing significant damage to Ryan’s Gligar. He ordered his Pokémon to retaliate with a Feint Attack, which did decent damage. After a Psybeam hit Gothmog, however, it looked like Gligar was going to go down for the count.

“Roost!”

The Fly Scorpion Pokémon roosted for a bit in a nearby tree, recovering about half of his health out of nowhere. I love that magic, Ryan thought ferociously. Yet, in the next moment, Grumpig shot another Psybeam at his Gligar and reduced the poor purple boy’s health by about 50%.

“Curse that Grumpig and everyone like him. Gothmog, U-Turn!”

As Vorian had done yesterday, Gothmog leapt into the air, gained tremendous speed, and threw his weight down upon his enemy, backflipping and punching him in the face with a claw. Grumpig staggered back for a second, a faint flash of purple collecting in his paws as he began to charge up his next Psybeam before suddenly slouching forward and collapsing.

“Why… you!”

“How dare you?”

“How could I lose, I’m the protagonist here!”

Many laments were spewed into the air by Pagan’s defeated guards. They didn’t have long to whine, however. After ‘Aichu sent Eleven flying over the wall after he refused to flee, the others got the message and quickly ran out of there, never to be seen again in any capacity.

“Well, that’s not bad,” Ryan congratulated his injured Pokémon. “Nice work, you two. Now get some rest, please.”

He returned them to their balls; Kelly and Logan did likewise for their victorious warriors.

The girl was smiling moderately. “Excellent. We’ve taken out half of his guards already.”

“But none in the top ten,” Logan pointed out. “I bet they’re pretty strong.”

“They’re with Kim, most likely. Where he is… I have no idea. He’s not here, that’s for sure. He’d have come out to face us himself if he were. He hates watching his guards lose. It’s a pet peeve of his. He wouldn’t be able to stand it if he were here.”

“How are we going to find him, exactly?”

“I have no idea. When we find another high-ranking guard, don’t let them get away, alright? We’ll interrogate them until they tell us what we need to know.”

“Got it.”

The front door had been left unlocked. That’s very kind of Mr. Kimothy. Paintings and marble statues of Pagan Kim decorated the inside of the mansion, and Ryan was surprised to find that there was no art, not even the water fountains, that did not depict Kim in some way or another. This guy has a major ego. I’m impressed. He’s got courage to put these up and then look his soldiers in the eye.

The place reeked of Axe Body Spray for some reason.

Past the main hall, an ornate staircase led up to the second story and down to the basement. They decided to take the stairs up first for no other reason than that was what Kelly prefered. In silence, they moved from hallway to hallway, sometimes pausing outside doors, sometimes peeking inside, never stopping for long, never leaving the main path. The walls were wrought of carved cherrywood and the floors were dark marble, covered in exotic-looking rugs that reminded Ryan of Twenty-Five’s Sigilyph.

“Do you know where he’s keeping your mom’s thing?” Logan asked her after a while.

“I have an idea… but I don’t know for certain, no.”

“What exactly are we looking for again?”

We aren’t looking for anything. I will find what he stole from my family. You two just keep yourselves alert for any more guards, got it?”

She’s like a mini Pagan Kim herself, Ryan thought. Why’s she gotta be so secretive? She asked us to come along. We’re going to see whatever it is he stole from her… she won’t be able to hide it from Logan and me.

As they rounded another corner, the teenagers ran into two more guards–Seventeen and Fourteen. Kelly was in rare form; her impatience was clear upon her face. Though the two were surprised, their faces going red, the women chucked Poké Balls at Kelly, only to have their Lucario and Dusclops be taken down by ‘Aichu’s Extreme Speed and Pepper’s Hydro Pump. Off they ran, the bony one and the tan one, leaving Pagan Kim’s mansion less protected than before.

Ryan hated trying to get his ten thousand steps in everyday. It had been hard enough having to walk up that single flight of stairs. He was tired and wanted to go back to the hotel so he could eat second breakfast and watch TV. That was the good life. They kept searching for what felt like an eternity. There was nothing more annoying than searching for something when you don’t even know what that something was. He and Logan were just trusting Kelly to know where she was going (she clearly had no clue where she was, for every few moments, she’d pause, look around, and hesitate before choosing a new hallway to go sneaking down).

“We should’ve asked those last two where Kim’s room is.”

“They wouldn’t have known,” Kelly scoffed, picking up her pace. “They’re not even top ten. They wouldn’t have any clue.”

Perhaps another five minutes passed, or maybe half an hour, before they came to the end of the hallway. At the very end, another staircase led up to a third level. Yet, it was at this staircase that two guards were posted. Logan, bored as a Slowbro at a Pokémon theme park, rushed ahead to challenge Thirteen and Sixteen to a Pokémon duel. His Chansey and Murr (a Furret-looking Squirtle) had little trouble against their Jellicent and Golbat. Those guards were old men, older than Ryan’s father, and he wondered what the heck they were doing with their lives to not only be guarding a random staircase in a petty tyrant’s remote mansion, but how had they had managed to live such long (and fulfilling) lives without catching any more Pokémon? They should’ve at least gotten their ‘mons to level 100. Couple of lazybones if you ask me.

“What were you guarding?” Ryan asked the bearded fellow after his Jellicent was defeated. Grabbing the man by the jacket, Ryan prevented him from fleeing around a corner (and thus disappearing forever). “What’s up there?”

“Why… that’s Emperor Kimothy’s master bedroom, you Rattata!”

“That’s no way to talk to Ryan, he’s the Indigo League Champion!” Logan screamed. “Watch your mouth! Respect your elders, old man!”

The guard was flummoxed, his watery blue eyes seeing nothing and everything at once. “I-I’m just a guard, alright? It’s good pay, that’s all. Just let me go! I won’t tell no one! I’ll run for the hills and you’ll never see me again.”

“That’s what they all say.”

“Enough, Logan. You better not be lying. That’s really Kim’s room up there?”

“Yeah, that’s right. He makes two guards stay posted outside at all times… for security purposes, of course.”

“Well, you were a magnificent guard. That was money well-spent. Great job, man.” Ryan clapped him on the shoulder and let him go. As was expected, the elderly gentleman adjusted his tie before sprinting down the hall, disappearing around a corner on skidding boots, and soon the sound of his running died away. Such a mature individual would never be seen again in Ryan’s lifetime.

Even the doorknobs leading into Kim’s room had his face on them. Ryan had to admire the former poacher’s attention to detail.

The room was all marble and paintings, like the entryway. There was a huge statue of Kim grinning, leaning forward, posing like a poser, just inside. The sound of running water indicated that even more fountains, probably wrought in Pagan’s image, were located somewhere in here. The bed was a huge one, and a water bed at that.

“Oh, now this is classy!” Logan jumped on the bed only to be bounced off almost at once by the lumpiness of the mattress. Landing hard on the marble, he winced. “Dang… that bed sucks. How could anyone sleep on that?”

“Don’t doubt Kim’s ability to sleep anywhere,” Kelly said distantly, wandering off from them as if in a dream-daze.

“If I were the leader of the free world, you couldn’t pay me to sleep on a water bed!”

“That’s great, Logan. That’s really stupendous info you’re sharing. I’ll be sure to remember it for an important time in the future.”

“Aw, thanks Ryan.”

He rolled his eyes. Why’d I save this noob from Falco? Couldn’t I have been apathetic that day? Just think of all the nonsense you would have saved yourself from witnessing if you’d have chosen to be lazy that day, he thought to himself, shaking his head.

Kelly had paused at the nightstand beside Kim’s bed, the middle drawer pulled open.

Ryan’s attention perked up at once. “H-hey, Kelly, what’s that?”

She was holding something gold and glinting in her hands. Bringing it up to her chest, she turned to face them, a fiery look in her eyes, though her ears had gone pink. “It’s my mother’s trophy.”

“Trophy? What trophy?”

She held up what indeed appeared to be a trophy, with a miniature woman and Raichu standing next to one another at the top of three connected indigo pillars that were coated with white gold. He had to walk over to her to read the fine print etched into the stone face at the base.

“Jennifer Bolhmann, Indigo League Champion. Whoa…”

A flood of memories came back to Ryan: he was walking in the near darkness with President Charles Goodshow; he saw in his mind’s eye the portrait of Ja’Crispy Vulcano who had befriended a Mew once upon a time to win the League; he remembered Melissa the Cabbage O’Leary and Magikarp and Zubat; and there was that guy who’d won with a team of six Chansey before the one Pokémon per species rule had been added. Jennifer Bolmann won the Indigo League with her Shiny Raichu… He could hear Goodshow’s dry, yet vibrant voice as if they’d talked only yesterday: Jennifer Bolhmann… What a fighting spirit she had! A truly intelligent, yet empathetic warrior. She took my breath away.

“I thought you knew, Ryan. Didn’t you tour the Hall of Champions before challenging the Elite 4?”

He scratched the back of his head awkwardly. “I did… I mean, I learned the history of all the Indigo League winners, yeah. I just didn’t know she was your mom.”

Logan was grinning broadly. “Wow Kelly, that’s so cool! When did she win?”

“Seventeen years ago. It was before I was born. She did really well. Mom didn’t lose her first Pokémon until the semis, and she won the final with half her team remaining. She cruised through the Elite Four and beat the reigning champion without much trouble either.”

“President Goodshow told me about her.” Ryan looked into Kelly’s eyes. She’s less anxious now. It melted away like snow… “He said she won the Indigo League with the help of a Shiny Raichu. Does that mean…?”

“Yeah.” She cradled the trophy between her hands, looking down at the tiny figures of Jennifer and her prized Pokémon. “‘Aichu was hers. She’s an old Raichu, but not so old. They generally can live for thirty or forty years if taken care of properly.”

A warm feeling flooded Ryan’s body. She’s just like me… chasing after her parent’s feats. Only, my dad left me an Abra and never got very far in the tournament. Kelly had all that pressure on her to win cause her mom did… I get it now… That look she had given, the way her shoulders had slumped, the way she had held her emotions inside her, her face still as an ice prison. Her Raichu lost to Ivy. Then Clefable put Tauros to sleep, and it was over.

He couldn’t help but appreciate how unfair everything had been. She had been meant to win–her or Rahul. It was my first time competing. My dad never even got to the semis. I didn’t have that pressure on me. I just wanted to win so I’d make her happy… And yet, winning had done the opposite. He now knew why.

“Kelly…” His voice had gone hoarse. She bit her lip. “I’m… I’m sorry. I didn’t know. Even when Goodshow told me, I didn’t put two and two together… I’m such an idiot. I didn’t mean to–”

“Look Ryan, the past is the past. I tried my best, but I couldn’t win. We both had our chance to take down Ivy. I failed. You didn’t. It’s as simple as that. I just wish that I would’ve gotten past the preliminaries. Why couldn’t we have fought in the semis, or the quarterfinals?”

“You’re a fantastic trainer, Kelly. You lost to the runner up. It’s nothing to be ashamed of.”

“I know.” Her smile was weak, but genuine. She placed the trophy in her backpack, zipping it up and sighing. “I was pouting like a little girl after you won. I shouldn’t have. It was selfish of me. You really did an amazing thing, Ryan. It wasn’t fair for me to make it about me.”

His heart was beating so fast he could hardly breathe. He didn’t want to look so weak before her, so he pretended nothing was the matter. “You had to put up with my noobiness for a long time. It really was just luck, in the end. I still can’t believe it happened. If we ran that tournament a hundred times, I think you’d come out on top more times than me.”

“But I thought you were so good at this, Ryan.”

Logan, who had nothing to say, and was basically the third wheel in this somewhat awkward emotional moment, decided to break the tension by making himself look like a fool again. “Fight fight fight!” he cheered. “Kiss kiss–”

“Shut up!” Ryan and Kelly barked in unison. Their eyes met again, and she was smiling at him. Who is this? What happened to Kelly? What’s going on here? She had never acted like this before. Is this really her?

The girl who had begrudgingly let him tag along in Vermillion City had never considered him her equal. Had that changed, or had that never been the case to begin with? Was it just a smokescreen, this act she put on, or had she evolved as his Abra had?

“Hey… wait a minute. You never told us why Pagan Kim had your mom’s trophy. That’s kind of weird that he was keeping it in his nightstand there… like, who does that? And it’s a seventeen-year-old trophy too. How’d he get it?”

“Well, I suppose it’s more accurate to say he didn’t let her take it with her when she left.”

“Left?”

“Mom and I used to live here,” Kelly stated. “Pagan Kim is my stepfather.”

Logan’s jaw dropped. “Wha…?!”

A cold shiver hugged Ryan tight. No way. “Are you serious, Kelly?”

“Yeah. I’m mostly surprised about those wall shields. I guess he expected I’d come back for mom’s trophy eventually. I wonder how long he’s had those up for.”

Logan was getting giddy. Ryan hated giddy Logan. That forme was almost as bad as Clefairy Logan. “He’s a bad man, isn’t he? Isn’t he, Kelly? That’s why we’re going to defeat him and bring justice back to Kyrai!”

“Yeah, he’s gone off the deep end. A long time ago, he was a Professor of Science at Smogon University. That was when my mom and him were together. Then… well, I’m not sure what happened, but he went crazy, quit his job, and disappeared for a while. I didn’t see him for three or four years until he came back to Kyrai, declared himself emperor, and started forcefully taking over the place. That’s when Mom left… well, I think she wanted to get me out of that toxic environment. Things got ugly between them, and I don’t think she thought we were safe here anymore. So we returned to Kanto.”

“And you don’t have any idea what he’s up to now?”

“Not a clue. We’ll need to find his senior guards to learn anything of value, I think. We haven’t dealt with his top ten yet. I’m sure at least some of them are here. If we can interrogate them, maybe they’ll tell us where Kim is, what he’s up to… I don’t know. Do either of you have a better idea?”

Ryan shook his head.

“Nope. I’m following you, Kelly!”

“Alright then. Let’s go find what Kim’s up to.”

He detected yet another fleeting smile upon her face. It’s like a weight’s been lifted off her shoulders. Now we just gotta help her liberate Kyrai, deal with Kim, and we’re good. And we’re good… That thought echoed in Ryan’s mind three times. We… me and her…

He closed his eyes, remembering how she had left him after his moment of triumph. You’re not the one for me, kid. I’ll see you around. She’d been drinking orange juice, and she’d been crying. She had spun from his grip, from his pleas, and walked out, leaving him. Her abandonment had cut deep, deeper than any loss, than any humiliation before. He occasionally dreamed of that memory. It was, of all the memories of the Indigo League for him, the most visceral, the most real.

How much of what she said that day was the real Kelly, and how much of it was the smokescreen?


The staircase leading down somewhere below the main floor was an intriguing prospect, so they took it. Past the steel door at the bottom, they ran into a man sitting at a desk, eating a plate of pickles and raw potatoes. He jumped up at the sight of them, spilling his mug of buttermilk all over his pants.

“How’d you get down here?! Who are you?!” He was a flat-faced man with a higher voice than one would expect. The badge over his insignia indicated that he was, indeed, Ten.

Proper tenner right there. This is gonna be good. Love me a good tenner. Ryan grabbed a Poké Ball, but Logan was faster again. His beautiful baby Echo flew from his ball, landing in front of the man, sharpening his arm blades menacingly.

“No questions, just fight!”

Tenner owned a male Pyroar with a decent-sized mane. He lit Echo up with Flamethrower. It was kind of cool, but mostly like dropping a taco in the parking lot. Shaking her head, Kelly stepped up to face the man. Out came her Kingdra, and down went Pyroar. It got real wet and steamy in that room, which was, as they say, a sign of things to come. Tenner was embarrassed by his crushing defeat, so he yelled at the top of his lungs, grabbed a pickle for the road, and disappeared up the stairs in a full-on sprint.

“We could’ve asked that guy where Kim went, you know.”

“Eh, no way that scrub knew anything.”

The next room was an expansive underground pool area. One guard was singing at the top of her tone-deaf lungs, lazily backstroking around the pool. Two more guards were sitting outside of a door on the far side of the room, throwing what looked like flour at one another as their Pokémon, a Ditto and a second Ditto, were doing battle. The fourth guard was off to the side, tanning himself on a rickety, glowing tanning bed, wearing nothing but underwear and swimming goggles.

“Alright, who do you want?”

“I want that woman in the pool! Easy choice.”

“Not a chance,” Kelly replied, walking off to go confront the woman instead.

“Aw, why you gotta be like that Kelly?”

She didn’t reply, which was probably a bad sign, although it could be a horrible sign too, you never know.

“You get tanning bed guy,” Ryan told Logan. I get to pick over Logan, at least. I’m top Growlithe here yo.

“But I don’t wanna!”

“Too bad. I’m the Indigo League Champion, dude.”

“Oh yeah, I almost forgot.”

“Gg.”

One was a redhead, the other had dyed his mustache green and blue like he was a Myrrish pirate or something.

“Transform!” shouted ol’ freckle-face over there.

“Transform!” cried Mustachio, the Scourge of Lannisport.

Ditto tried to Transform, but Ryan was unimpressed. Barely looks like a proper Ditto. Dang. What a shame. Right into the bin with you two if I were in charge ‘round these parts. The other Ditto also tried to Transform, but it failed. It appeared, somehow, that Dittos were not very good at becoming Dittos in real life. Shame, really.

“Transform!” the redhead commanded again, hope ever in his voice.

“Transform!”

“Transform!”

“Transform!”

In the distance, Logan kicked out the legs out from under the tanning bed, and the guy tumbled onto the hard tile floor with a crash. That’s a good idea. Ryan was just about to do something equally as drastic when one Ditto’s Transform PP ran out and it began to Struggle. What a Struggle it was! Overjoyed by the Struggling, which indeed produced some recoil because this Ditto knew how to party, the redhead guard, who Ryan could see now was Six, grabbed a handful of flour and threw it into the other man’s face. Eight stood up, incensed. But when his own Ditto replied to that last attack with a Struggle of his own, recoiling all over himself, he too became jubilant and threw a handful of flour into Six’s face.

These are top ten guards in Pagan Kim’s illustrious army? Are you kidding me right now?

“Struggle!”

“Struggle!”

“Struggle!”

“Do a Struggle attack for old time’s sake, Ditto!”

They sure liked throwing flour at one another. It was starting to get everywhere, so Ryan backed up a bit. He didn’t want to ruin his classy gortex jacket. Maybe I should just let ‘em play it out…

There wasn’t much he could have done. On the next turn, Ditto actually used Struggle (a stupendous choice in the boy’s estimation), and KO’d the other Ditto. However, Ditto made sure to let the recoil damage wash over itself, and it too, by luck, was KO’d. It was a festivus miracle. The guards celebrated by blasting each other in the face with double handfuls of the powdery flour.

“Sup,” Ryan finally said, waving. “How’s it going?”

“What the…?!” Six spit out a cloud of flour, coughing horribly. “How’d you get down here, kid? Who are you? What do you want?”

“I’m a traveling popcorn salesman, wanna buy a bag?”

“Get out!”

“Now now, if you’re going to yell, I won’t sell you any of my delicious, buttery popcorn. Tastes just like cardboard before you add salt.”

Eight looked mighty pissed. He also was covered in flour, so Ryan had a hard time taking the officer seriously.

“I said get out!”

“Make me, yo.”

“Why you little…!”

He unhooked his Poké Ball from his belt again, but didn’t throw it. Staring at it dumbly, Eight sneezed, sending flour everywhere. It was enough to make Ryan jump in the air, though this time, he was able to suppress his scream. Great job, Ryan. You’re evolving! Still, the man did not throw the ball. If I know one thing about Pagan Kim’s guards, it’s that every one of them carries only a single Pokémon on their team. Excellent guard protocol if I do say so myself.

“Well? Are ya gonna make me leave?”

“I, uh… hey, Six, let’s throw him in the pool, alright?!”

Idiots. You’re not supposed to knock your Pokémon out against one another. Rookie mistake. Classic Six. Classic Eight. What a couple of Slowkings. All Ryan had to do was release Vorian, his Scizor, and the flour-baked men quickly realized they were outmatched. There would be no pool-throwing today (sadly).

Before Ryan could ask either of them where Kim had gone, the men tore off out of sight. Logan’s foe had disappeared, and he was now beside Kelly, who was crouching at the edge of the pool, holding the woman who had been swimming by the hair.

“Hey… what’s going on?” Ryan called out, running over to them.

“I defeated her Gyarados, now it’s time for her to answer my question!” Kelly sneered. “Where’s Pagan Kim? What’s he up to?”

The woman, wide-eyed, wet as a patch of grass in the middle of July, her two-piece bikini yellow-and-pink, with a big blue #7 printed over her heart, was not responding. She was trying to flee, trying to clamber out of the pool and run off like all the rest, but Kelly wasn’t letting her go. Logan must’ve let Nine get away. Frickin’ noob move, yo.

“Answer me!”

“I am Seven, let me goooo!”

“Answer my question and I will.”

“I am Seven, let me goooo!” the woman sang again.

No matter what Kelly threatened to do, no matter how hard she gripped Seven’s scalp, the woman would not yield. She said nothing else to them. Ryan was fast losing patience. She can’t hold a note to save her life. Shame, with a body like that, you’d think she’d be a rare talent.

“Kelly, let her go. I can’t stand her singing anymore!”

Logan agreed. “She’s horrible, just the worst. Let’s get out of here!”

“But what if she’s the last one? You let yours get away, didn’t you? What were their ranks?”

“Yeah, uh, Six and Eight KO’d each other and I just watched,” Ryan admitted.

“My guy was Nine, but he ran off before I could stop him.”

Ryan very much enjoyed the guards’ tendency to flee the moment they lost, but he had to admit that this was more than a little annoying.

“What if the rest of his guards are with Kim? There’s only five left…”

“Don’t forget Twenty-Two,” Logan pointed out. “We never met that one yet.”

“He wouldn’t know where Kim is, would he? How many more guards are on the compound?”

“I am Seven, let me gooooo!”

She finally did; off ran the bikini-clad woman, her feet slapping against the tiles noisily until she disappeared through the door.

Kelly exhaled in impatience. “Now what?”

“Now, we go through the door Six and Eight were guarding. There’s bound to be someone back there, isn’t there? Why else would they put a door there?”

Nobody could argue with Ryan’s impeccable logic, so they did just that. Inside the next room, a room that was four walls and a floor and little else, was a man, a portly man, a man who was holding a plastic red cup stacked to the brim with ice, his back to them, wearing nothing but socks and a kilt.

“Emperor Kimothy…? I didn’t think you would be back so soon…”

Munching on an ice cube, he turned slowly and noticed that Mr. Pagan Kim was not there, a real shocker.

“Hi!” Ryan waved again.

“Where is Mr. Kimothy?” Kelly asked quickly.

“Oh, he’s on expedition. The usual place, you know.”

“We don’t.”

“Ah, right, right, you must be the new recruits after all,” the man replied. “That makes sense. He’s at the peak of the mountain currently, where the old Vanilluxe factory once was. He’s conducting the usual experiments. Should be back tonight, I hope. If not, I’ll send you lot up there to go see what’s amiss.”

She elbowed him in the ribs softly. Too easy, I know. “So, um, what exactly are those experiments he’s conducting?”

“Hasn’t Ten gone over it with ya? I’m One, after all. I ain’t gotta explain nothin’ to nobody. Get one of the others to fill you in.” He munched on another bit of ice. That dude’s pasty as vanilla pudding. Look at the size of that belly. You could fit a Venusaur in there… “Hey, wait a sec… where are your uniforms, recruits?”

“We didn’t get them yet,” Kelly said quickly. “And can you–”

“Didn’t get ‘em? That’s odd. Eleven should have distributed them to you himself. I should tell him off for that… Hang on, which one of you is which? Who’s Thirty-One?”

“I am,” Ryan and Logan said together.

One’s eyes narrowed. “Oh. So I’ve got a trio of fakers on my hands, is that right? A couple of jokers? Well, I’ll have you know that I am no one to be messed with. My soldiers can attest to my honor and class, not to mention my fine attention to detail!”

“We noticed on the way down.”

“Impudent children! I’ll put you in the dungeon for disturbing me so!” His Pokémon flashed into being before them suddenly. “Now, Cosmog! Rip it open!”

Ryan’s Gligar shot out of his ball to hover before his master. But instead of attacking Gligar, Cosmog began to glow and slowly float and up and down. What the heck?

“Cosmog, the Nebula Pokémon. Even though its helpless, gaseous body can be blown away by the slightest breeze, it doesn't seem to care.”

“C’mon, Dexy. What does that have to do with anything? What is Cosmog doing right now?”

“My apologies, my glorious master. This Cosmog is currently in the process of opening an Ultra Wormhole.”

“Extreme!” Logan cried. “Super deluxe!”

“What’s an Ultra Wormhole?”

But before the robutt could answer, a flash of blue-white light tore through the air, hovering three feet off the ground, positioned directly between One and Ryan. Suddenly, a hairy white arm punched through the hole, then another. The Pokémon’s legs shot out, and a second later, it had jumped through the wormhole to meet them.

Ryan pointed Dex at the beast that stood before him. “There is no information…” the Pokédex droned. “No Pokémon in range.”

“What the heck…?”

He shivered. Logan screamed. The Pokémon–if it really was one–was eight feet tall, hairy, simian in appearance, standing on two legs, its jaw slacked, revealing rows of dagger teeth. Its four eyes were entirely black, its arms long enough to walk on without bending over. Though it had no tail, its entire body, except for its palms, soles of its feet, and face, was covered in a thick layer of white fur.

“Now, attack!” One commanded, pointing at the trio.

Cosmog fell from the air, panting heavily. Gothmog was shaking where he hovered. I have no idea what’s going on here. This makes no sense. How can this not be a Pokémon? Can we catch it? He took out a Poké Ball, but at that moment, the giant beast roared, beating its chest, and charged at them. Ryan and the others had only a second to dive out of the way, but the creature wasn’t aiming for them. It barreled its way through the wall, never stopping, leaving a trail of rubble and dust in its wake. They felt more than heard it crash through the walls of the next room and the next.

“Hey! What’s the big idea?! What was that thing?”

“Yalung,” One smiled. “He’ll be back for you… I think. He should be. Eh, those things are difficult to control. But he’ll be back. I’ll guarantee it.”

He chewed on a piece of ice, his face contorting in curiosity, then impatience, then realization, then fear. He’s not coming back.

“Does that… thing have anything to do with what Kim’s up to?” Kelly asked him sharply.

“I ain’t tellin’ you kids nothing.”

Logan whispered to them, “It looks like his Pokémon’s down for the count… now’s our chance.”

Ryan returned Gothmog hastily. “Right. Let’s go. Kim’s at the top of the mountain!”

“No, wait,” Kelly replied, fingering a Poké Ball. “This guy hasn’t been defeated yet. He just tried to use a dirty trick against us and it didn’t work. I’m not letting him off so easily. ‘Aichu, give the Captain of the Guards the biggest shock of his life!”

The man begged for a few breaths, dropping his cup of ice. Then, he tried to get Cosmog to get back up, but apparently, his Pokémon had used all of its energy to open that wormhole. Sucks for you, Ryan smiled. Kelly’s one vindictive girl. She doesn’t let anything get past her.

That was pretty cool. What happened to One thereafter… well, let’s just say, he must have regretted opening that portal for a long time afterwards. Legend has it that he’s never been able to crunch ice the same ever since, but that is merely hearsay and thus should be considered nothing more than hot nonsense.


He cut his way through the ice, not daring to stop and catch his breath. Rocks flew at him from the darkness. He sensed them before they got close enough to be a problem, moving dexterously out of the way. Spikes were laid out before him. He had to maintain a careful balance. Katagiri raced across the rope bridge without thinking, without feeling anxiety. He jumped over the wall, climbed up the next one, dodged the psychically-controlled rocks with his superior speed. His leaps came well-paced, his momentum building upon itself as he hopped from floating ice platform to floating ice platform. The last one was always the tricky one. Nevertheless, a single Ice Beam was enough to propel him that extra distance. He jumped from it, feeling the wind in his ears, closing his eyes to sense the incoming rocks, spinning and flipping in midair to avoid every last one of them.

He landed with a croak, bowing before Hilda.

“Good pace, Katagiri. Do you want to go again, or would you prefer to a duel?”

“My good-natured human instructor, a duel against another robustly-trained Pokémon would be most excellent in my humble opinion.”

“A duel?”

“Yes, my lady, yes!”

“Is that a yes?”

“Yes indeed, I am speaking in the affirmative, human!”

“Alright, I think that’s what you want… okay, Grishnákh, you’re up!” she whistled.

From the cave darkness surrounding them came a Jolteon. His gait was so arrogant, Katagiri wanted to throw up. This old chap again, eh? I remember you from the first day I arrived, sneering at me from your cage!

“Well, well, well, look who it is. I said I’d be coming for you, newbie. Are you ready?”

“Greetings, Grishnákh, my name’s Katagiri. It’s a pleasure to meet you.” He bowed cordially before the Lightning Pokémon. “I wish you good fortune in this battle, sir.”

“Shut your hole. Don’t speak to me in such a tone, you ugly little toad. I will be dishonoring you now with my victory. Ready?”

“I don’t think that will be the case. It seems to me that you’ve been in your cage for the better part of this past week. Qiang and Hilda have been training me intensely. I’m a lot stronger than I was when I arrived. Underestimate me at your own peril, sir.”

“You aren’t yet fully-evolved, frog. What do I have to fear? I am a trained Electric Specialist.”

“Here you go, you two,” Hilda interjected, kneeling to hand each of them a glowing purple orb. “This is a Life Orb. You will each use this as your item for this battle. Life Orb boosts your attacks by 30%, but you will lose 10% health after every turn. I expect this battle to go quickly. Don’t let your Life Orb whittle away your health. That would be a rookie mistake.”

“A mistake a newbie is sure to make,” the Jolteon snapped, settling his Life Orb into his spiky mane.

Katagiri placed his own in his bubble scarf. The orb let off a deep, warm, tingly energy that made the Bubble Frog Pokémon excited. He was ready now. The Jolteon’s words meant nothing to him. He cared only to see how well his attacks would do against an Electric Type. Electric moves are super effective against Water Pokémon. I will need to use Ice Beam instead, I think. Jolteon is a fast Pokémon. I am not sure I will be faster than Grishnákh. If I’m not, he could take me out in one attack…

“You two ready?” the human asked.

“Ready!”

“Just go.”

She blew her whistle, and Katagiri jumped forward, charging up an Ice Beam between his hands as he scampered around the Jolteon. His foe chased after him, lagging behind just a bit, a glowing burst of electrical energy forming in his mouth. He’s slower… just barely. That’ll be enough, I hope. The 30% damage boost would really help. He wouldn’t even need to land a crit, he knew.

Hopping from left to right, Katagiri pivoted and raced back towards the Jolteon, who himself was pursuing Katagiri with an unhealthy bloodlust. His attack finished charging; he felt his bones warming, his head spinning with the clarity of his single desire, the heat of his energy upon his face. Chewing bubbles, Katagiri confidently released his Ice Beam.

Grishnákh wasn’t ready, the poor dog. He came to a screeching stop, his mouth agape, the Thunderbolt charging within it dropping from his jaw and spilling onto the floor where it hissed and sparked and exploded, smoking against the rocks. There was fear in his eyes, but disbelief too–more so was he appalled than shocked. He can’t believe he’s slower than me. This is why you lift all them weights, sir. A Pokémon who stays in their cage is a Pokémon who can’t evolve.

The Ice Beam punched Jolteon on the nose. He grunted in pain, the force of the attack spinning him around; before he took another breath, the Lightning Pokémon collapsed unconscious. He suppressed his emotions as well as that building, energetic feeling welling up in his throat. Not until Master returns, he told himself again. I will not. Not here. The feeling was quelled within his throat with some difficulty. This was neither as difficult an exercise as it could have been, nor as easy as it could have been.

“Good work, Katagiri. Your speed is becoming incredibly impressive. How would you like to fight a more imposing opponent now?”

“Can’t I take a break? I just got done beating that sass mouth, and I’m hungry. Human, why do you never understand the severity of a Protean Frogadier’s hunger cues?”

“This will be my last lesson for you, Katagiri. After you face Heracross, your training with me will be complete.”

“Oh… I get it. This is the last day of my training. You want to be done early so you can relax in peace. Well, in that case, bring it on!”

She seemed to understand that. A Mienshao came into view briefly to carry off the unconscious Jolteon back into the darkness, no doubt returning him to his cage. Then, Hilda brought out her Heracross.

“Hey, Katagiri. Nice to finally meet you.”

“Greetings, sir,” Katagiri bowed. “Are you ready to battle?”

“I’ll go easy on you, since you’re a trainee. Let’s have a nice casual battle, okay?”

“Fine by me.”

“Harold, are you ready?”

“That I am, Hilda. Let’s begin.”

“Okay then!” She whistled to indicate that the battle was indeed officially underway.

Katagiri was unsure what he was supposed to do against a Pokémon that was clearly a higher level than him. I lack any super effective moves against Bug and Fighting types. As Master would say, curses!

He decided to try a Dark Pulse attack. The energy formed into a ball before shooting at the Single Horn Pokémon. Katagiri was shocked to see it hit him before Harold could retaliate with a move of his own. I’m faster…? I must be an absolutely insanely quick Protean Frogadier! This was no time to pat himself on the back, however.

Harold shook off the attack, bruised though his shell had become, and conjured up several rocks, throwing them at Katagiri. Though he tried to dodge the incoming attacks, getting déjà vu from the rockiness of them, four medium-sized boulders hit him nevertheless, punishing the poor Frogadier severely. He was seeing black spots in his vision. His breaths were coming quick and shallow, and his focus had broken. I must… keep focus… stay in this moment… not until it’s over… be strong and resolute…

The Dark Pulse had done little, so next he tried an Ice Beam. This time, his attack ravaged the Heracross. Hilda’s loyal Pokémon roared in pain, falling to his knees. For a moment, Katagiri thought he’d won. Then, gritting his teeth, the Bug Pokémon rose, lunged, and punched Katagiri several times with both right and left hooks. Dazed, battered, tasting blood, he stumbled, tripping over his limp feet, hearing a loud ringing sound, thinking of nothing but the radiating pain, and fell over.

Hilda immediately provided him with a Max Revive. The lingering pain vanished in an instant like magic, though the anxiety and humiliation were not so easily healed.

“Not bad, Katagiri. Harold is one tough cookie. You did well to hurt him that much,” she said, spraying her Pokémon with a Max Heal. “I’m impressed by your progress. Whenever you decide to evolve into your final form, I am sure you will become a Pokémon to truly reckon with. You’re a sweeper for sure. That speed of yours is already insane!”

He smiled a bit, feeling a warm, rushing feeling inside him. She returned Heracross, after he bowed to Katagiri in respect, and led the Bubble Frog Pokémon out of the training room. They walked for a while down the hallway in silence until they came across a door in the rocks Katagiri was unfamiliar with. Inside, by torchlight, he beheld tables and tables of various trinkets, items, and sparkly things.

“Pick any one item to take with you,” Hilda stated warmly. “As a reward for graduating our training academy, of course.”

“I… graduated? But I lost…!”

“That’s right you did!” she chuckled, scratching him behind the ear, clearly not understand what he had said. “Now… what do you want?”

There were Life Orbs and Choice Specs and Gold Nuggets and Stardust, not to mention tons of stuff he didn’t know the names of. But one thing drew him to it almost immediately. As he focused in on it, Katagiri was reminded of the Sevii Islands, of Ryan trusting him to catch that Gligar for him.

“This! I desire to take this with me,” he said politely, holding up a Razor Fang. Katagiri had learned during his stay here, from a salty-sounding Shelmet, that Razor Fang was all that was required for a Gligar to hold if it wanted to evolve.

“A Razor Fang, huh? You know this isn’t that useful of an item for you to carry, right?”

“Yes indeed, human, I am not choosing this item for myself, which I thought would be obvious.”

“Okay then! Um, in that case…” she stared down at her phone, its artificial light illuminating the dank cave for a second, “let’s go, then, alright? We’re running a bit behind as it is.”

“Running behind? How so? I thought I already graduated.”

She said nothing more, but instead led him out of the room again, walking briskly down the hall, her boots echoing off the rocks, until they came once again to the entrance of the cave. Katagiri vaguely remembered this place, for he had been here once before. Hilda stopped before the door momentarily to check her phone again, then opened the door.

Blinding light poured in. Katagiri had to blink tears away to normalize his sight. And that was when he noticed Master, Kelly, and Logan were waiting for him just outside. There was snow in Master’s hair, though he was bundled up in his Gortex jacket. His backpack was unzipped, a cozy, warm space awaiting him inside.

It had only been a week, but his emotions overcame him. Katagiri cried out, “Master, well met! It is glorious to see you again indeed!”

He hopped up into Ryan’s arms as the boy laughed and hugged him, beaming brightly. “Heyo, Katagiri, how’ve ya been, buddy?”

“Oh, I am quite well, Master. I have become a warrior of rare skill and talent, Ryan. Indeed, as a Protean Frogadier, I will soon become your strongest and most beloved Pokémon.”

Any wild encounter will do. The first chance I get, I’ll go for it, he told himself.

“Aw, you’re so happy, buddy. Come on, get in.” He ushered Katagiri into his backpack; the Pokémon could hardly refuse such a tempting offer. “He’s in great spirits, Hilda. Thanks. How’d the training go?”

“He’s a precocious little guy. We worked on his Speed and his Special Attack especially. I don’t know his exact level… we didn’t have time to run a second diagnostics, but I would guess he’s at least level 50 by now.”

“Wow… that high? Dang, buddy, you must’ve put in a ton of work this past week! I’m so proud of you.”

There were no thoughts of Jolteon or Heracross or that Mushroom Pokémon he still didn’t know the name of. He was reunited with his Master, and he was content. Katagiri felt good; he felt safe; he felt at ease.

“Also, he was allowed to pick out one item to take with him, and he chose a Razor Fang. I’m not exactly sure why did that. Do you have any idea?”

“If Gligar holds a Razor Fang while leveling up, he’ll evolve into Gliscor,” Logan said.

Hmm, that boy is sharper than he looks. Impressive awareness.

“Ah, you have a Gligar too?” Hilda asked.

“That’s right. Aw, cool! Thanks, Katagiri. Gothmoggy’ll super appreciate this. You did good, boy!”

Ryan scratched him behind the ear, and the Bubble Frog Pokémon let out a sigh of contentment.

“Anyways, I hope our services have been satisfactory,” Hilda said. “If there’s anything else you need, please ask me now. Otherwise, I need to get back to training the other acolytes.”

“Did he learn any new moves while he was here?”

“I almost forgot! Qiang taught him Dark Pulse, replacing his Bubble Attack. It’s a Dark Move that has a chance to stagger. Really useful on a Protean Greninja. You’ll want to be keeping it.”

“Ah, okay. Cool. Thanks! Anyways, we gotta head off… uh, places to be, bad guys to fight. So, um, thanks for everything, Hilda, and tell Qiang thanks for me. Maybe if I’m ever in the area again, I’ll send some more of my Pokémon here to be trained.”

“Very good. We’ll see you around. Good day, Ryan. Goodbye, Katagiri. Stay well.”

The door closed abruptly. It was snowing lightly, even though it was sunny out. There was melting snow in Ryan’s hair.

“Alright, Katagiri! Woohoo! You’re all strong and powerful as a god now, arentcha?”

“Yes, Ryan, that is precisely the case.”

“Good, excellent. Well, anyways, we’re going to go find Pagan Kim now. You’ve gotta help us, alright? He’s got a Zapdos–that’s a Legendary Pokémon, yo! I hope your training’s prepared you for this, cuz I think we’ll need everyone to take that nasty bird out.”

“Oh goodie, I look forward to aiding you,” Katagiri yawned sarcastically. “But can’t we stop for a spot of lunch first?”

“They’re at the top of the mountain,” the girl human with the pink hair spoke. “We’ll have to face his guards too. It’s not far till we get there. Stay sharp everyone.”

Oh great. I haven’t even had a five minute rest since I was dropped off here and now we’re going into battle again! Oh well, maybe I’ll have the opportunity to show them all just how strong I’ve become.

Katagiri reached out and tapped Ryan on the shoulder.

“Huh?”

Pulling the Froakie candy out from under his bubble scarf, Katagiri gave his Master the tasty present. “Here you are, Ryan. I almost forgot I had one of these ready for you.”

“Oh, look, it’s another one of those candies…! Hey, it’s a Froakie candy?!” The boy looked over the small, rounded piece of candy with an ‘F’ on it, which was dyed blue and yellow. “You gave me one of these in Sevii too, didn’t ya?”

“You have an excellent memory, Master.”

He ate it. An electric shock ran through Katagiri’s body, jolting him into lucidity. He shivered. What was that? That didn’t happen last time? In truth, he had no idea where these candies came from. It was just another magical thing in this world that defied all logical explanation. He had just so happened to find them under his bubble scarf every now and then. He’d eaten the last one himself, for everyone else had been asleep at the time, and Katagiri was an impatient boy. This new effect, however, was entirely alien. He had no idea what any of this was about. He was working only on intuition and instinct, alas.

Ryan scratched him behind the ear again, and he settled into the backpack, lying up against the warmth being exuded by Ryan’s back. It felt good being back. It felt better being warm again.


Once upon a time, Ryan and the gang rode Thurnax to the mountain’s peak. Long and cold was the ride, but that’s just some boring travelogue content that nobody wants to know about. Suffice to say, they eventually reached the peak. The old Vanilluxe factory was exactly where One had said it’d be. At least he’s not a liar.

And there, on a balcony on the second story, surrounded by icicles and the biting wind, were four of Kim’s soldiers. The rest of the gang. So nice of you to join us.

“I see ‘em, I see ‘em!” Logan said eagerly. “There they are! Set us down, Ryan, hurry!”

“No sign of Pagan,” Kelly murmured.

Though she was riding Thurnax in front of him, he wanted to rest his chin on her shoulder. That would be unseemly, so no such action occurred, thank the Lake Trio. He could feel her body heat against his chest, however, and that alone was cause enough to go forward. Thurnax soared up to the building, alerting the guards to their presence. These are Kim’s chosen elites. Maybe they’re allowed to carry two Pokémon. That could be wishful thinking, though. He, Logan, and Kelly had healed their Pokémon with what potions they yet had on the way up, so that equaled 17 fresh ‘mons, not to mention Katagiri, who had just undergone the most intense training of his life. Ryan was glad to have his froggy buddy back for the fight that was to come.

“Tell your boss I’m back!” Kelly shouted at the guards, jumping off Thurnax and running over to them, Poké Ball in hand. Ryan and Logan quickly followed.

“The heck?” Three hardly moved. He was sucking on a lollipop, so it was too risky to use up any energy on superfluous actions, such as reacting to the teenagers running right at him.

“Where is he? Coward! Come out and face us! We’re here, Kim! Aren’t you the Emperor of Kyrai?! Show your face!!”

Her voice echoed through the mountain peaks.

At once, the ground began to rumble. Thurnax let out an uncertain cry. There, in the air, was the monster. Yalung. Did it follow us all the way here?! Fear clung to Ryan’s heart. When the beast punched his Dragonite, ice spikes formed around the blow, encasing her in a veil of frost before shattering utterly. Thurnax fell onto the balcony, unconscious.

No way… this can’t be happening!

“Kelly!”

“I know, I see him.”

The guards barely moved. Maybe they were expecting this. Maybe they were half frozen already. Nevertheless, Yalung got on all fours and raced over to them. It completely ignored Ryan, Kelly, and Logan. They were preparing to defend themselves with their Pokémon when Yalung swiped the guards, sending all four of them into the sky.

Looks like Pagan’s men are blasting off again… But why’d he target them?

There was little time to think. His palms were slick with sweat. Vorian was perhaps the only Pokémon he had left capable of dealing with this monster. They’d have to coordinate some kind of attack.

“All three… together, alright? Let g–”

A bird screeched, shattering the stillness that had returned to the air. Nobody thought about where Two, Three, Four, and Five landed. They were probably alive and probably not maimed in the slightest and probably, realistically-speaking, in good spirits. But now came another menace.

Lightning cracked the sky. Thunder boomed. Riding his pet Zapdos, wearing a bright pink suit, the Emperor of Eyesores, Pagan Kim arrived. He pointed and spoke, his voice obscured by the flapping of Zapdos’ wings. The monster looked up, spotted him, and howled. That was when Thunder Wave hit him, and he fell over, paralyzed, crying out in anguish.

“Welcome home, Kelly. It’s been so long. I didn’t think you would return until you were much older… but look at you now, my sweet little princess. You look just like your mother.”

“I have her trophy. Come down so we may fight for real.”

“No, I’m afraid, I can’t do that, Kelly. You see, a Yalung has finally appeared before me. I’ve been waiting for such a long time for this… momentous occasion to occur.” He smirked, running his fingers through his hair. “Oh, I’ve been waiting forever. I’ll catch him first, and then we’ll talk. How’s that sound? I’m sure you’ll have a lot to say. I look forward to it.” He beamed obnoxiously.

“This guy’s a walking meatsack of clichés!”

“Did you just call me a meatsack?” The man spit.

“Sorry, I meant wannabe poacher who got sent to the moon by an angry Kangaskhan one time.”

“Oh… it’s you.” He pointed at Ryan repeatedly, running his free hand down his jaw as if to suppress a smile. “I remember you. Ryan, yes. You won the Indigo League. I’ve been keeping up, I’ll have you know. Well, it seems my dear daughter has brought out the big guns, as it were. My guards had one job… one simple, measly little job. They were supposed to prevent you from ever reaching me. One job. That’s all I asked of them.” He looked like he was about to explode like an Electrode. “And they failed. They… failed me. I see. Oh well. I’ll have to clean up this mess myself. If you want something done…” He chuckled to himself, raising a blue Poké Ball with weird ear-like bumps rising on the sides.

“Alright, this is it,” Kelly said. “Follow my lead. We’re not taking any chances. If it has to be eighteen versus six, then so be it.”

Seventeen, Ryan thought grimly, eyeing his fallen dragon. And that Yalung as well… He only paralyzed it. Was that enough to stop it? I doubt it.

The beast had fallen to its knees, shaking quietly. It was snowing ever so lightly again. The sun was bright in the sky. Katagiri was dozing in his backpack, snoring sweetly. This isn’t the Indigo League, but if I can manage to beat him…

No, that was a foolish thought. He had given into wild fancies before, and where had those gotten him? Nowhere. Stay focused, and don’t try to be the glory boy, and maybe we’ll come out of this alive…

Episode 6: Underfrog

He looked mighty splendid riding that Zapdos. Gotta have a badass steed if you’re gonna wear a pink suit.

Logan’s six had formed a half-circle around him in the snow; the were ready to rumble: Murr, the Squirtle, Florence, the Seel, Okinaro, the Ice Vulpix, Echo, the Scyther, Chansey, the Chansey (real good naming there bro), and Doodleface, the Ditto. He’s a kid with a dream, Ryan thought, channeling his inner Norman Chad, but Logan ain’t lucid yet. Not with that team.

“Discharge, Zapdos!” Pagan Kim commanded with tyrannical authority.

Rivers of lightning cut through the sky. Thunder shook them to their bones. Webs of smoking electricity spread and grew, homing in on each of Logan’s Pokémon. Before they could respond with attacks of their own, the Discharge made contact, exploding violently. Puffs of snow spurted into the air as the collective cries of six defeated ‘mons echoed across the mountaintop. Every last one of Logan’s defenders fell, knocked unconscious by that single Discharge.

Moreover, Zapdos’ attack had also struck the Yalung, who groaned as electricity raced over his body, ensnaring him in a round of paralysis. Kelly’s ‘Aichu, the sole member of her team facing Zapdos, effortlessly absorbed the Electric attack, due to her Lightning Rod ability.

“Kelly! We have to work together…! Let’s do a double attack with ‘Aichu and Vorian!” Pulling out Scizor’s Poké Ball, Ryan went to throw it when the girl shook her head.

“There’s no time, Ryan. Volt Tackle, ‘Aichu!” she commanded, raising her wrist and activating her Mega Bracelet. In an instant, ‘Aichu transformed into her powerful Mega Form.

One would think that hitting a Legendary Electric Pokémon with an Electric move would be a fool’s idea, but this was Kelly. She knows what she’s doing, I guess. Gotta trust her, Ryan sighed, pocketing Vorian’s ball. His focus remained on the mighty Yalung, who was panting on a knee, motionless, while electricity danced in the sky. She said she knew how to deal with Zapdos. I gotta trust her. I don’t want to screw up her plan, whatever it is.

The bird nearly fell from the air. The power in that electric tackle was more than Pagan Kim had assumed possible, judging from the man’s roar of surprise. She’s a Mega Pokémon, an Indigo League Champion… but still, taking on a Legendary Pokémon is no easy feat for anyone… Though ‘Aichu took a good deal of recoil damage from her attack, she landed on her feet and looked unimpressed with her opponent. She could do this… possibly. Can she really? Is it possible, or am I hoping for too much?

Silly Ryan, of course, had not been there to witness Alex’s fight against Miyazaki on Mount Ember, wherein the Sinnoh Champion had managed to take out not one, but two Legendary Bird Pokémon in a single battle. To the boy, the idea that a common Mouse Pokémon, albeit a Mega Mouse, could take on a Legendary Electric Pokémon was inherently nonsensical.

Raichu was faster. That was the first sign he should have picked up on. Zapdos retaliated with a Heat Wave, cooking ‘Aichu up severely. The Shiny Raichu fell to mud, panting, and Ryan thought for sure that would be the moment of truth. Vorian’s all I’ve got left… Logan’s entire team was taken out in one move! This is insane. Three of my buddies aren’t evolved yet. Curses! I should’ve brought my championship team with me for this battle! I knew he had a Zapdos. What was I thinking? They won’t stand a chance against a Legendary. I don’t think Kelly realizes how dangerous the situation is. Plus, we still have to deal with that Yeti-looking monster.

He still had no clue if Yalung was a Pokémon or not. Dex seemed to think not, but Dex had been wrong before. Kim had thought he was an Ultra Beast. Ryan had little experience dealing with such creatures, but from what Dex had told him about Ultra Beasts and their Ultra Wormholes, there seemed to be no other explanation. Yalung came through one of those. He’s gotta be one. Maybe he’s an undiscovered species?

The flaming Heat Wave passed. Ryan wanted to jump in a shower and not even wash off afterwards, he was so hot. But then, a winter wind blew, and he was instantly chilled again. He was reminded coldly that they were on the peak of a mountain to the north of Kyrai (and by extension, all of Kalos), in the remote, frosty, feral reaches of an untamed wilderness. Gortex was a brilliant invention, he had to admit. If not for his jacket, he’d already be frozen solid.

‘Aichu responded with another Volt Tackle, leaping in the snowy air to deal the hammer blow. Zapdos fluttered its wings, shrieking proudly, as Raichu’s powerful lunge took it in the breast. Its cry cut off abruptly as it spun around and dropped from the sky, crashing to the ground, its beak digging an uneven path through the snow melt. Pagan Kim, the elegant bloke, the Emperor of Everything, the Bony King of Somewhere (but not here), was thrown from his mount, landing feet-up in a pile of dirty snow.

‘Aichu took another wave of recoil damage, this time hurting herself significantly. She won’t last much longer. She can’t use another Volt Tackle either. That’ll knock her out for sure. But she got the job done. Incredible!

“Wow, Kelly, you did it!”

Ryan’s breath frosted before his face. His heart was beating so fast. A faint pulse of disappointment passed through him, but was lost with the next gust of wind. That was awesome. She really showed him. She’s a heckuva trainer.

“I told you, didn’t I? Nothing to worry about. But we need to stay sharp, alright? He’s got five more Pokémon, and I have no clue who they could be. He won’t go down without a fight.”

“Right.”

The emperor’s blond-dyed hair was all messed up. He didn’t look as fearsome as his bobblehead anymore. “This… now this is an outrage. I am not pleased, Kelly. Using your mother’s Raichu to beat me. The nerve…! Is it poetic justice? Is that what you believe? Or is defeating my Zapdos with another Electric type merely your attempt to humiliate me? Are you trying to show your prowess over me, the Emperor of Kyrai, with that? I’m your father, Kelly. Angering your father is never a good idea.”

Zapdos was returned.

“We’re ending your reign of terror here and now!” Ryan told him. “Once we’ve defeated you, you better run off to wherever your minions fled to. Kyrai won’t suffer under you any more, got it? A disgraced poacher is never going to rule this place… never again!”

He scoffed hollowly. “A poacher? Is that all you think of me? I assure you, my boy, I am much more than that. I am a former Professor of Science at Smogon University. I am a three-time Kalos League Champion. And I am the current op-ed writer for Bulbapedia Weekly. Know whom you speak to, boy!”

“Know who you speak to, ugly old man! Ryan’s the Indigo League Champion! He’s not a former wash-up has-been like you, and he doesn’t have to bleach his hair to try to look cool!”

“That’s right, baby, this blue’s all natural.”

Pagan Kim seemed little more than bemused. He chewed on the butt of a silver pen. “So I’ve heard. But let’s be real. You kids do not concern me nearly as much as that beast.” Kim pointed to the Yalung. “My research has led me to encounter several of these Ultra Beasts. Every single time I’ve gone in for the capture, they have sensed something’s amiss and fled. It’s rather unfortunate. I have yet to capture one. But I’ve decided my bad luck ends today. So if you two don’t mind,” he gestured, holding up that strange blue-finned Poké Ball again, “I should like to finally acquire my Yalung, pretty please.”

“Not a chance.” Kelly clicked her tongue, causing her Raichu to perk up her ears. “‘Aichu, stop him!”

The man threw the ball with an exasperated groan; Kelly’s Mega Raichu was too fast for him. Before it hit Yalung’s flesh, ‘Aichu somersaulted into the air, landing between the paralyzed Ultra Beast and the hurled ball, slapping it to the snowbank with her tail.

“Oh, I see how it is,” the man said. He sounded incredibly old in that moment. His sigh was the sigh of a seventy-year-old man, plump as a Snorlax, whose sixth-book manuscript in a planned seven book series was not even close to being publishable, despite having spent eight years “working” on it. “Very well, Kelly. You pain me with this decision, do you know that? I thought we were family. Believe me, I don’t want to have to do this.”

“Spare me the Krookodile tears, Pagan. Unless you defeat my team, you aren’t going anywhere. And you aren’t beating me. Not again.”

He blinked slowly, exhaling. “Stubborn, just like your mother. I admire the fight in you. Don’t back down. Don’t ever give in. Just like I taught you. But don’t think I’ll go easy on you, either.”

Venusaur, the Seed Pokémon, was brought out to face the Raichu. Ryan’s Mareanie came out in a flash. With annoyance, Kim gave Ryan a dirty look. “Don’t forget about me, yo. I’m not giving up either!”

“Hmm, if you want to join in on the fun, I won’t stop you, kid. You do this at your own peril. I am Pagan Kim, as you know, and I am not a merciful emperor.”

“Yeah, yeah, yeah, whatever, show us whatcha got!”

“Go, go, Ryan, you got ‘em, boyo!” Logan sang poorly. “Take ‘em out, Kelly, woohoo! You can do it!” His pom poms were flittering in the air. Luckily, Ryan had his back to the boy, so he didn’t have to watch that awkward and certainly not even remotely humorous display.

The warrior sent out to fight Ammu was a white-and-red Pokémon, star-shaped, eyeless, appearing to be made out of paper folded over many times. “Kartana, the Drawn Sword Pokémon,” Dex told him. Sheesh, this dude sure likes his swords. I’d be surprised if there isn’t an Aegislash on this team too. “This Ultra Beast's body, which is as thin as paper, is like a sharpened sword.”

“Oh, wow, another Ultra Beast!” Ryan had never fought such a fearsome Pokémon before, except for that one time he had. His meager Mareanie, perhaps not a single XP over level 25, would be no match for such an offensive specimen, he knew.

Indeed, trying to have Ammu lay Toxic Spikes just got her taken down by a glowing Leaf Blade attack. Curses. But what can I do? All of his Pokémon must be super high levels. That means half my team has no chance… Ryan thought fearfully. Nevertheless, he brought out Little Kramer next, on the off-chance that he’d get one move in. If I can just burn that paper katana once, I might be able to significantly damage it.

“Ryan, what are you doing?”

“Huh?”

“Every time an Ultra Beast scores a KO, its ability, Beast Boost, boosts its best stat one stage! Why did you send out Ammu and Little Kramer against such a stronger opponent? You’re just powering it up that way!”

Kim smiled. “Leaf Blade again, love.”

Kartana glowed with emerald fury, swiping the overmatched Young Fowl Pokémon off his feet brutally. There was no question as to who was the stronger fighter. Falling back, the Ultra Beast glowed again, boosting itself further. “Aw, crap! I’m such a noob… gosh, what the heck? Dex, what’s Kartana’s highest stat?”

“This Kartana’s most proficient stat is Attack, oh great master.”

“Aww… just great! Oh man, we’re screwed now! Vorian, try to take this monster out. C’mon, I believe in ya, buddy!”

“Scize!” screamed the Sword of the Evening. You’re my last hope, buddy. If you don’t defeat Kartana… well, I’ll be letting more than just Kelly and Logan down.

Across the snow patch, ‘Aichu and Venusaur began their duel. Venusaur was coated in a white light briefly as Kim held up a glowing pen, booming, “Mega Venusaur, silence this rebellious pest! Show Raichu the true power of a Mega Pokémon!”

His flower grew larger, bushier, more robust. A pink sprout formed over Venusaur’s face. Gosh, what a hideous Pokémon. Who’d ever pick an infected-looking dinosaur as their starter? Not me, sir, not me. I’ve got standards. Grass Types suck. There I said it, and I mean it! Woo baby! Venusaur growled, tanking ‘Aichu’s Return attack. While the tackle did do a significant amount of damage, Venusaur hardly reacted except to shoot tendrils of bright green energy at Raichu, the three tips latching onto the battered Mouse Pokémon’s body, sucking energy out–sucking her dry. ‘Aichu collapsed unconscious a moment later.

“Don’t give up, Kelly! You can do this! You can do this! If you can’t do it, no one can!!”

He wanted to watch, but there was plenty to do in his own battle. Kartana was running amok. Time to end this Ultra Beast’s spree. “Vorian, Iron Head!” It sucked that he didn’t have many options for this battle. Of course, using U-Turn would be akin to committing sudoku unprovoked, and Bullet Punch wasn’t as powerful as Iron Head, so Ryan would have to channel his inner Xiao Bao for the time being if he wanted to win this.

Kim called for his ‘mon to try a Sacred Sword attack, waving his pen about fanatically as if it were a sword in its own right. What’s this guy’s obsession with sharp, pointy things? Ryan much preferred rounded, blunted ones himself.

Kartana moved first, which was no surprise to the boy. It conjured a glowing white blade of light, slicing Vorian across the pincers. That hurt, Ryan winced, noticing how sluggish his Pokémon was when getting up after absorbing the blow. Still, he rushed ahead, crashing into Kartana, his head glowing steely-white. Brittle as Kartana looked, it did not falter. Can’t use U-Turn yet. Can’t risk that not working… if it doesn’t, we’re toast.

Another Sacred Sword sliced Vorian up good, but he survived, if only barely. His next Iron Head did significant damage again, and now, Kartana’s wear-and-tear was becoming more evident. Logan had walked over to Ryan, waving his pom poms, singing another one of his trite cheers. Ryan would be annoyed if he didn’t need the boy’s advice right about now.

“What do you think, Loges? Could he take out Kartana with a U-Turn? Or is it too early?”

“I don’t think it matters, Ryan. Your Vorian’s beat up bad. He can’t survive two more hits. He’s slower, dude. He’ll only get one more chance if you’re lucky… You might be able to try a Bullet Punch, but if it’s not a crit, it may not be enough…”

“Yeah, just gotta go with it. Oh well. Alright, Vorian, U-Turn now! Kartana’s a Grass Type. At least that’s what Dex said… But Kartana’s half Steel Type too, so that’ll resist U-Turn a bit… but I don’t have a choice. His other two moves are both Steel Type, and there’s no way they’ll do more than U-Turn’s neutral damage.”

He felt bad watching his Scizor get sliced for a third time. This was more of a gamble than he was usually comfortable taking. Vorian staggered and nearly fell over after absorbing the hit, his knees shaking, breathing hard, muttering, “Scize… ize… ize…” while he worked up the stamina to go for one more round.

“You got this, Vorian! Smash that Kartana to paper shreds!!”

“Zor!”

The bleeding star took to the air, gaining momentum above the calm-floating Kartana. He’ll get his shot… this is it! Logan cheered hopefully, his voice ringing hollowly in Ryan’s head. The teal-haired boy tried to swallow but found he couldn’t. His hands were shaking–that wasn’t the cold he was feeling. His jacket kept him warm and toasty, after all.

With another expulsion of air, Vorian returned to the ground, a whistling meteor, crashing into Kartana’s chest with a spinning claw punch. The Drawn Sword Pokémon shivered soundlessly, stepping back as if in surprise before collapsing in the snow.

Between Ryan and Kelly was the gash in the side of the mountain left by Zapdos. Kim kept turning back and forth to deal with them one at a time. This was not a typical doubles battle. He was particularly annoyed that his Kartana had fallen, for his voice shook when he ordered, “Typhlosion, get rid of that insolent runt!”

Kim’s starting to lose it. We gotta pour it on now. Yet he didn’t exactly have a good way of doing that; Vorian was nearly done for; Gothmog would be of little use; Katagiri wouldn’t be of much use either. I have to try something, though. I can’t let her down.

Kelly’s ‘Aichu had been exchanged with her bold Pelipper. Pepper soared into the air, a rainstorm blooming on the mountaintop from nothing, the falling droplets not quite reaching Ryan’s side of the battle at first, which was a grand disappointment. But then, the winds turned, and he, Logan, Typhlosion, and Vorian, were drenched. Holy guacamole… maybe I have a chance now… if I can get Katagiri to move in this water…

“Pepper, Hurricane!”

“Giga Drain, Venusaur!”

Mega Venusaur, the tank, was faster. That Venusaur was faster than any Pokémon was a bit of a miracle, Ryan thought. How the heck is Pelipper slower? He can fly. He can cut through the sky like a knife through cool whip. That lumbering beast takes an hour to get out of bed! Despite Ryan’s assumptions, Venusaur was indeed faster. More tendrils of energy latched onto Kelly’s Pokémon, sucking energy from Pepper just before the Hurricane was conjured up. Though Venusaur was able to recover a small amount of health before the onset of the storm, Pelipper’s Hurricane nonetheless hit him hard. That’s super effective damage for you, yo!

Ryan nudged Katagiri, waking the tired boy up awkwardly. “Heyo, Katagiri, you’re up next. It’s almost your turn, alright? You gotta finish off that Typhlosion for me, got it?”

“Frogadier…!” his sleepy boy whined. “Froga froga!”

“Now now, Katagiri. No whining. Everyone else’s been taken out, ‘cept for Gothmog, but he’s not gonna do better than you. You graduated from Hilda’s academy, didn’t you? Don’t tell me you didn’t get way stronger than before. You gotta do this, boy. I’m counting on you! Please…”

“Aadierhh frog…”

“C’mon, buddy. I don’t have any other options here… I trust you, Katagiri. You’ll be able to defeat that Typhlosion! I know you will. He’s a Fire Type. We ain’t scared of no stinkin’ Fire Types, are we?”

Katagiri’s jaw slackened. “Froga. Frogadier dier dier.”

Man, I’d give anything to be able to understand him. Here’s to hoping he’s down for a battle. Hilda returned him in perfect health, so I shouldn’t have to worry about anything. “Alright, boy. You’ll be up in a minute… right after Vorian gets deep fried.” He hated to do this to his Scizor, but there was no other choice. “Vorian, Bullet Punch!”

Punching the Typhlosion in a flash, he did good. For the condition he was in, Vorian fought to the end. Ryan had to respect that. You were trained well by Jun. I’m so glad you decided to come with me to Kyrai, buddy. You’ve done well. Now get some rest.

That rest came courtesy of a Fire Blast. Ryan noted that Pagan Kim hadn’t opted to use a non-Fire move in the rain. Interesting. Is he just being arrogant, or does he not know Fire Attacks are only half as powerful in a rainstorm? He guessed the former, for obvious reasons. It wasn’t exactly a surprising occurrence that fire attacks didn’t work well in rain. That was common sense. Even Logan knew that. There had to be a reason for Kim’s actions. He wasn’t an idiot.

“Aw, Ryan, how many more Pokémon do you have?”

“Just Katagiri and Gothmog. Hopefully Katagiri’ll be enough, or Kelly’ll have to finish this on her own… And I don’t like our chances if she has to. You have any more Max Revives on you, Logan?”

“No sir. Used my last one after we left the mansion. Sorry, dude.”

Dang it. We should’ve stopped by the Pokémon Center instead of wasting those revives. We were too impatient, and now that’s going to come back to bite us. “It’s okay. We can only work with what we’ve got, Logan.” He closed his eyes, not feeling the water bounce off his gortex-shielded shoulders, not feeling the cold, not feeling the anxiety. This was just another battle. He was not going to let himself be choked by fear. This is just another battle. Katagiri versus Typhlosion. That’s all I got to worry about. That’s it. I’m good. Stay in the present. Stay focused and clear-minded and you’ll get through this.

He too had run out of Max Revives, though he had one Max Heal remaining. Hopefully he’d get a chance to use that at some point. He would use it in this battle if he had to.

Another Hurricane was blasting across the mountain, and when it faded, Ryan noticed that the Mega Venusaur had flopped on his stomach, his eyes going all squiggly. Boy, I’d kill for a croissant right about now. Kim responded by bringing his Excadrill onto the stage. I wonder who he’ll have face off against his last ‘mon. Prolly whichever one of us KO’s our opponent first.

“Alright, buddy. It’s your turn. C’mon, don’t let me down, Katagiri! This one’s for almost all of the marbles, and don’t you forget that!”

“Frog!!”

Katagiri scampered off, hopping lazily through the mushy snow to face his foe. The difference in size was more than a slightly intimidating. He faced imposing Pokémon just like this one at the academy, I bet. I can’t be afraid. Katagiri won’t be. We must work in perfect synchronicity. No time to think, just go!

“Katagiri, use–”

“Frogadier!” his Bubble Frog Pokémon snapped in reply, leaping into the air, hovering to gathering a ball of water, sheets of rain falling hard all around him. Water Pulse. He knows what to use. Not that it was a big mystery, I guess.

A tingly feeling overcame Ryan then. He felt unusually excited, his heart rate increasing suddenly and drastically, but from what exactly, he could not tell. While it was true that this battle was nerve-racking, and he was being plagued by anxiety, the increase to his heart rate was not natural. It happened as soon as Katagiri jumped in the ring with Typhlosion. What the heck is going on?

Typhlosion was faster. Ryan wasn’t exactly surprised, but he was still disappointed. His Katagiri was such a quick little guy; whenever he was outsped, it was a moment of disappointment shared between master and Pokémon. The Typhlosion, for some reason, used another Fire Blast amidst the rain, hitting Katagiri’s tiny body with a mass of red-roiling flames that looked a bit like a person (but the shape was far too big for that).

Ryan gasped. He felt the heat of that blast–it hurt, it burned, it brought him to his knees. Katagiri was gasping on the ground ahead, the snow melted around him in a circle as the rain fell ever on, much of it sizzling and rising as steam around the Bubble Frog Pokémon.

“Ryan… are you okay? What happened?”

“I-I…” He bit his lip to prevent himself from screaming. Even if it was a half-power Fire Blast, that attack still hurt like a mother Kanga. Why did I feel that? He didn’t understand. All he knew was that he had to attack… He watched his hand rise before him, and then his other, as they gathered invisible energy into a ball before his chin. There was no energy in front of Ryan; the movements came as instinct. And yet, a second later, a dripping ball of water appeared in front of Katagiri. In unison with his Frogadier, Ryan mimicked throwing the ball at the Typhlosion.

The Water Pulse sailed through the air, crashing against Kim’s Fire Pokémon with wet savagery. She let out a roar of pain. Nearly there. One more’ll do it.

He feared not the next Fire Blast. Kim was busy knocking out Pepper with his Excadrill. He didn’t seem to be paying attention to Ryan’s battle very carefully. He had to know it was raining, though. It’s raining on him, just like all of us. He’s gotta know. Maybe his Typhlosion only has Fire attacks?

“Ryan?! What’s going on?” There was fear in Logan’s voice.

He exhaled, taking the next Fire Blast along with his buddy. It hurt, but it wasn’t enough to finish him. Tasting snow, sitting up, he noticed his arms performing the same motions on their own again. What the… I don’t get it?

“I can’t control it, Logan,” he managed to say only after the Water Pulse had been fully formed and thrown. “My body… it’s doing this on its own. I can feel the attacks. I can see it… through Katagiri’s eyes… and when he’s hit, I feel that too… I don’t know how to explain it.”

Typhlosion moaned in dismay as the Water Pulse exploded against her. Nowhere to run, nowhere to hide. With that second super effective blast, Katagiri’s opponent fell and had to be returned. Kim grimaced, looking away as he returned Typhlosion. He’s not bringing out his last Pokémon yet. What gives? Is he afraid of losing? Does he realize it’s inevitable? Well guess what, dude? It’s over. Katagiri and I cannot be defeated! We’re the best! We’ll take on anyone!

On the other side of the mountaintop, Kelly released her next Pokémon: “Go, Roe! Earthquake!”

Kim concurred. “Earthquake, Excadrill.”

Her Roe was a blue blob-looking thing that Dex told her was a Quagsire, the Water Fish Pokémon. He didn’t pause to listen to its Pokédex entry. He was running to Katagiri, the Max Heal in hand. This was his only chance. Kelly’s caught an entirely new team of Pokémon. I’m impressed. But I guess I’ve started doing that myself too, ever since we went down to Sevii. In truth, it had all started with this little guy. Katagiri had hatched from his egg on the final day of the Indigo Plateau Conference–on the day he had dueled Julia in an epic bout that had decided that year’s winner, and the one who would challenge the Elite 4 and Indigo League Champion. Ryan had gone on to beat all five of ‘em later that day. It had been a glorious day in his short life–perhaps the most glorious so far.

“Great work, buddy! You beat that Typhlosion! You weren’t afraid of her! You did really good, Katagiri!”

“Frogadier…” Katagiri croaked as Ryan sprayed him in the face with the Max Heal. The Bubble Frog Pokémon shivered, having never gotten used to the sensation of the spray. Just like me, buddy, heh.

He was hugging Katagiri when the ground shook again and down went Excadrill, Roe the Quagsire barely outlasting the faster foe. The rain had come to a stop at last. Five of Pagan’s Pokémon had fallen. Kelly had come out of this with a larger team than him–Her Roe, her Skarmory, her Kingdra, and some other sixth Pokémon Ryan had never met remained. We’re good, he thought. Pagan’s done for. We did it! She’s gotta be happy with me now… I helped her take him down. She’s gotta respect that, doesn’t she? If not for this, then for what? I’ll let her take out his last ‘mon if she wants. She deserves this. I can’t be greedy.

“Whoa… Ryan… Katagiri… look at him…”

Ryan jumped up, realizing that his buddy’s body had started to glow like light crystals, his form rippling and shifting beneath the light. His heart beat had once again risen. Kelly and Kim were in mid-conversation, not paying attention to this in the slightest. At least Logan had the courtesy to gawk.

“Buddy…? Katagiri?! Whoa.”

When the light cleared, there stood Katagiri in the clearing in the snow, his hands pressed against one another, his head bowed, one foot resting against the side of his other leg. The girl’s voice trailed off when she noticed. Kim too had to look. He’s gonna be super pissed about this turn of events, Ryan thought gleefully.

“Greninja, the Ninja Pokémon,” Dex said, breaking the silence with his usual robotic grace. “It appears and vanishes with a ninja’s grace. It toys with its enemies using swift movements, while slicing them with throwing stars of sharpest water.”

“Oooooooooh…! He’s so cool! Katagiri, you did it, you did it!”

“Ninja!” Katagiri barked, not breaking his stance as Ryan ran over to hug him again.

“Nice going, Giri,” Logan beamed. “You’re a precocious little guy, aren’t you? It hasn’t even been a year since you were born, and look at you…!”

He’s the best! Thanks Hilda. Thanks Qiang. I owe you guys. You did great work with Katagiri. He’s amazing…!

“Well, well, well. What a touching moment.” Kim popped his pen’s tip up and down with his thumb, the clicking going about a hundred times a second. “But this is where your dreams turn into nightmares. I warned you, Kelly. Don’t push me…”

“Hey…” Ryan said, looking around. “Where’d that Yalung monster go?”

Logan shrugged lamely. “He must’ve split during the battles. I didn’t see him go. Maybe he jumped through one of those Ultra Wormholes again?”

“No matter!” Kim’s voice was rising. “Once I’ve dealt with you meddlesome twerps, I’ll track him down. He couldn’t have gotten far.”

“You’re in no position to think we’ll let you,” Kelly told him. “Who’s your last Pokémon? Out with it already. Let’s get this over with. I want to take you in myself, stepfather.”

That last word was poison. Kim ran his fingers through his hair, flicking his hair to make himself look like an adonis or something (the effect was poor in Ryan’s opinion, but he wasn’t a proper girl either). The winds had died down, and though it was continuing to snow at a quiet pace, if anything, it had gotten warmer since they’d arrived here.

“Oh, Kelly, Kelly, Kelly. My dear girl… I’m sorry to have to do this to you. I really am.” He clicked his pen opened and closed compulsively. “Reconciling fatherly love and fatherly discipline is often a difficult exercise for a child in any family. Know that what I do, I do in order to help you down the correct path, daughter. Now Darkrai, let’s end things.”

“Darkrai?!” the teenagers groaned in unison. Their hearts fell.

The floating black Ghost Pokémon revealed itself. This is no queer trick. He really has one. How many Legendaries does this guy have? This is so unfair!

“Yes. Didn’t you notice? Darkrai is my sigil. Every one of my guards wears his form on their nametags.”

It seemed so obvious now. Ryan facepalmed, shaking his head. I should have known. He was so nonchalant, too. Even when Zapdos went down, he barely cared. I should have realized something was up… but I’m so dumb. I’m so unaware! Gah, why can’t I be better?

“It’s one Pokémon,” Kelly said quickly. “We only need to knock it out with attrition, alright, Ryan?”

“Yeah, I got it.”

“I’ll do what I can, but it may come down to Greninja. All he needs to do is get a good hit or two in, I think. Darkrai’s a somewhat brittle Pokémon… and if he’s not, well that’s game over.”

“Game over man, game over!” Logan was crying, running back and forth, waving his pom poms around chaotically.

We can’t let her down, Ryan thought as Katagiri and him exchanged a look. If it gets to us, we’ll do everything we can to win this thing.

“Shall we begin, then?” Pagan faked a yawn. “I’m getting bored over here. Chop chop, you two. There’s research to be done, Ultra Beasts to be caught. Can’t have you taking the whole day from me.”

“Roe, Earthquake!”

He yawned again, slouching his shoulders. So confident. Dang. We really don’t have a chance, do we? “Dark Pulse.”

The ghost silently conjured a purple beam and fired it at the Water Fish Pokémon. Darker purple rings of energy flew down the energy beam rhythmically before detonating against Roe’s face. She went down without much of a struggle. There’s one. Gosh, he wasn’t kidding. This Darkrai is the stuff of nightmares, yo. Do we realistically have a chance?

“Go, Barnaby!” Kingdra flexed his nose as he came out to face the Darkrai. “Hydro Pump!”

“Nasty Plot, Darkrai.”

Darkrai was faster, which was no surprise. It glared at Barnaby for a moment, before its Special Attack was raised two stages, according to Dex. When pressed further, Dex admitted he had no idea how glaring at its opponent made Darkrai any more deadly, but it was a true fact, and there was nothing any of them could do about it.

The Hydro Pump washed over Darkrai; and the Pitch-Black Pokémon’s form broke underneath the torrent. For the faintest of moments, Ryan dared himself to believe Kelly had done it, that she had won. When the water washed away into the muddy slush, Darkrai reappeared and silenced the Dragon Pokémon with another Dark Pulse. He’s wounded, though. Barnaby got him… it’s possible. We just need one or two more hits to take him out. That’s not impossible. It can’t be!

Kelly chose her Skarmory next. Violet was knocked out cold with the first Dark Pulse Darkrai tried.

“Go, Spike!” Kelly cried, releasing her last Pokémon–a Ferrothorn.

Ryan’s heart sank. There’s no way a Ferro will be able to damage Darkrai. Crap. It’s up to us. For once, Ryan anticipated reality. Kelly called for a Power Whip, but Darkrai was loads faster than the floating grassy spike ball. One Dark Pulse was all it took. Kelly’s Pokémon team had been defeated.

“Well, how about that.” Kim clapped politely. “You did well, Kelly, but not well enough. Unfortunately, this is the end of the road. I’m going to have to put you in the dungeon, so you may reflect upon your rebellious actions here today. Do you think I want to do that, Kelly? Do you think that would make feel better? No…” He shook his head wearily, burying his face in his hand, pinching the bridge of his nose. “You’re just like your mother.”

“Don’t get so dramatic, you old idiot! Ryan’s still got a Pokémon who can battle.”

“Yeah mayne.” Ryan stepped forward, nodding to Katagiri, who shadowed him over to the Darkrai.

Kelly clapped him on the shoulder when he reached her. “Don’t mess this up, kid. You got this. Just one attack. Darkrai’s hurt. Your Greninja has a chance.”

He’s doesn’t have much health. Maybe if my buddy was a tank. But he’s a sweeper, so we’ve got one chance to clean this mess up. Kim was yawning again. “Come on, come on, hurry up, you! I have places to be. Don’t children ever realize how important one’s time is?! Gah, bunch of runny-nose savages. I am not pleased, boy. Hurry up and face my Darkrai. This won’t take long.”

“Dang right it won’t!” Ryan replied, glancing nervously to Kelly and Logan. They gave him thumbs up. His body began to tingle. Kelly’s not acting all standoffish like usual. I’ve never seen her so eager for me to win. Is this real life?

Katagiri stepped into the ring, silently taking account of his opponent. Darkrai moved not. Like a slap to the face, he felt his heart rate skyrocket again, felt his body numb over. It was an odd sensation, this. When he blinked, he thought he could see from Katagiri’s eyes. But it wasn’t right. He was Ryan; he was his own self, a single consciousness stuck in the meatbag that was his body. His vision had become both disorienting and invigorating. He knew what he had to do.

Dark resists Dark. Ice Beam it is.

“Focus Blast him out of here,” Pagan Kim commanded. “This ends now!”

“Let’s go, Katagiri!” Ryan cried. He was going to command his Greninja to use an Ice Beam, but Katagiri was already forming it.

A wave of water had covered them both, and he only realized after the fact, when Kelly and Logan were calling for him. Lightheaded though he was, Ryan was alright. He had thrust his hands out, charging the attack in the same way as Katagiri.

“Ryan, what’s going on?”

“Are you okay, dude?”

“Never felt better.” He closed his eyes and focused, feeling the energy building up within him. It was a calming feeling. Katagiri’s mind was focused on one thing and one thing only.

Across the stage, Darkrai was building up his Focus Blast into a blue ball of light, bright enough to be mistaken for a star plucked from the heavens. His eyes opened suddenly. The Ice Beam was ready. How he knew, he did not know. He didn’t have to say anything. He felt Katagiri rush forward, preparing to fire it.

“Whoa… Katagiri’s appearance changed. Look, Kelly! His ears and cheeks! Even his skin has become a darker shade of blue.”

It was true. Katagiri’s face had changed, with a dark teal stripe now going from the base of his skull to the tip of his nose. Dark blue striped bug wings had grown from his back, too. His ears and cheeks had gone teal, their form changing slightly to resemble spiky hair. My hair, he knew vaguely, but that wasn’t important. Landing this shot was all that mattered.

Darkrai rushed at Katagiri, his white cap plume blowing back, his one big blue eye staring into Katagiri’s soul with a ghostly appetite. He aimed and threw the Focus Blast. Oh no… Darkrai’s faster, Ryan thought, his heart sinking. I should’ve known…

Before Ryan had two seconds to lament his pitiable state, the blue energy ball sailed past Katagiri before exploding in the side of the mountain, spraying boiling snow in all directions. Focus miss. Oh, sweet justice! Now’s our chance!

Kimothy swore loudly, throwing his hands in the air. Ryan cut everything extraneous out of his field of focus. He was moving his arms about, dodging without running, making a right fool of himself. The teal-haired boy had little idea what he was doing. This was all a blur, like some crazy dream. He reached out his hand and released the Ice Beam, and it hit Darkrai–a tangible result he could feel in his bones.

The Pitch-Black Pokémon shuddered and fell, and it was over.

Logan punched the sky. “Yes!! Booyah, Mr. Emperor Dude. Take that, ya pink-suit-wearin’ noob!”

“Great job, Ryan.” She was smiling too.

Katagiri’s form returned to that of a regular Greninja’s. “Th-thanks… hey, do you guys know what was going on there? I felt like I was Katagiri, like I was controlling him psychically.”

“So that’s what you were doing? Weird. What the heck?”

“Battle Bond is a form of bonding documented between various Pokémon and their trainers. Greninja is a common Pokémon for such occurrences. However, Katagiri’s ability is Protean, not Battle Bond. While his bonding with Ryan appears similar to Battle Bond, such a form has never been documented before. Please take me to Professor Oak at once so I may present him with this startling new data,” Dex droned. “This is a most exciting turn of events, oh good master. Please, may we return to Kanto now?”

“Yeah, yeah, in a little bit. You can wait, Dex. You’re a robot. You’ve got patience for days, yo. We still have to deal with Kim.”

He was sitting on a rock, his feet up, chewing on the tip of his pen, watching the sun sink towards the horizon. It was not yet night. Indeed, it was barely lunchtime, but daylight was precious commodity in Kyrai. The Yalung had disappeared. His Legendaries had been defeated by a motley gang of regular ‘mons. Today must have been a terribly bad one for Pagan Kim.

Ah well, you get what you deserve yo. It’s like Faul McCartney said: ‘The love you take is equal to the love you make’. That was a brilliant quote, Ryan thought cheerfully, eyeing Kelly.

Without warning, Pagan Kim jumped up and tried to run off. Katagiri was on him like a shadow demon in the night, kicking his legs out from under him and pinning him to the snowy turf.

“Oh, get off me, get off! This is an Alberto Nardoni, you savage! The snow will ruin it. Get off me! This is an outrage… an outrage, I say!”

Kelly walked up to him, smug as a Christmas Cloyster. “You could do with spending some time down there, stepfather. It’ll give you perspective.”

He grumbled, and they laughed, and Ryan’s chest became, once again, light with confidence and possibility. He briefly thought about making a move then and there. The old Ryan might have. Pagan Kim wasn’t dealt with yet, and Logan was watching, so that wouldn’t do. I’ll find a time, he thought to himself, a sense of glee overcoming him as he watched Kelly crouch before the struggling man, the wind blowing her light pink hair across her face.

We did it. I can’t believe it, but we did. This is awesome, he thought to himself. Man, we’re so good at this!


It took almost an hour for a couple of Officer Jennys to arrive on a Skarmory to take Pagan Kim away. It was a real somber moment. He offered to bribe them, offered to marry them, even begged that he was the victim here. They weren’t having it. They locked him up nice and good, both ankles and wrists, before tying him down to a second Skarmory so that even if he got free, he would not be able to assault the Jennys.

Smart thinkin’ from some smart-dressed ladies, Ryan thought, eyeing their high skirts. It was somewhat cold on the mountaintop, so their ability to conduct normal business without shivering impressed him greatly, considering what they were wearing.

Pagan Kim vowed to return, but Ryan was getting bored with sequels. A sequel to a sequel sounded even less appealing. No sir, I’ll never see that guy again unless it’s necessary. I’m done with him; I’m done with Kyrai; I’m done with the cold. Methinks I need another Sevii vacation.

Kelly had just enough potions to revive two Pokémon. That meant ‘Aichu and Okinaro, as she was in a giving mood. They didn’t have a single Max Repel between the three of them, the noobs, so they had to carefully go down the mountain, avoiding all tall grass and dubious spots in the snow.

“Why didn’t we revive Thurnax? Could’ve ridden her all the way down. We don’t even have snow shoes. This is horrible; I’m tripping all over the place!”

“Stop your whining, Ryan. This way we get to appreciate the view. Don’t you like appreciating scenic nature spots, dude?”

“Not when it’s twenty below zero.”

“Oh please, it’s not the cold. You’re such a wuss, Ryan. You can’t take any cold at all.”

“That’s right, so the faster we get out of here, the better… You can only see so many snowy trees and snowy rocks before they all start looking the same anyways.”

They bickered like this for a while, until, following the river down the path, they heard a loud cranking sound coming from a cave ahead.

“Yo, is this Yukiotoko River?” Logan observed. “It’s running, isn’t it?”

“Could be.”

“What’s that sound coming from the cave?”

“No idea, man. You’ve got a Pokémon. Why don’t you go find out?”

Ryan was somewhat intrigued too, however, so he tagged along. And wouldn’t you know it, but Kelly decided to follow them inside for good measure. Shame Alex and Rahul aren’t here. The Dream Team is the best team yo. It was dark and wet and rather warm inside the cave. On the left side, the river, which was no more than five feet across, was rushing into the darkness, loud splashing echoes coming from deeper in the cave.

Luckily Ryan had brought his flashlight with him for moments like this, so he led them deeper into the cave by its beam. About a hundred feet inside, they came upon a rusting metal sign, not unlike a wannabe stop sign, that read, ‘Big Desi Bottling Co.’.

They proceeded even further inside. It was real mysterious and real spooky. The sound of creaking machines grew louder. The cave widened out into a large underground lake. And there, on the other side of the lake, was a huge device that spewed steam and constantly grumbled as it sifted through the water.

“Oh… I get it!” Logan’s face lit up. “Oh my gosh, it makes so much sense now! Come on! We have to turn that machine off!”

“Why?”

“They’ve dammed up the river for their water bottle company, can’t you see it, Ryan?”

“Uh, sure, okay. Big Desi. Right.”

“Yeah. They’re responsible for the Yukiotoko River drying up. Gotta be. Let’s go!”

Ryan was riding that victory high pretty hard, so he hardly cared about anything. They followed Logan around the lake to the other side of the cave without so much as whining once (a rare feat for Ryan). And once they reached the machine, Logan found the lever to turn the tall crane-like thing off.

“What the heck…?! I heard sommat… sommat in my home, what?! What’s the meaning of this, you no good, dirt-sniffin’ scalawags?!” a man screamed suddenly.

The three of them screamed a bit in response, but nothing too fancy, as a man wearing nothing but a speedo came running out from behind some rocks just to the right of the water purifying device. Like a loyal customer, the kind you can’t get to give up on you no matter how bad the voice acting and animation gets, Twenty-Two, the last of Pagan Kim’s guards, was sipping neatly from a Big Desi bottle. He wore a pink Darkrai tattoo on his bare chest that revealed his rank. That’s gonna suck when he gets promoted… or, more likely, demoted!

Ryan waved with a smile. “Hey there.”

“What are you fools doing? Don’t you know I have a schedule to maintain?! How dare you touch my equipment. Go on, shoo! Get out of here before I make you!”

“You’ve stopped up the river to steal all the water, haven’t you?” Logan asked him coyly.

For a guy who likes to wear a speedo, Twenty-Two had a heck of a hairy belly. “Why yes we have, per Emperor Kimothy’s orders! And I’ll have you know, if he learns that you children were interfering with his international corporation, he’ll have the lot of you thrown in the dungeon.”

“Sounds horrible. Anyways, you better run now,” Ryan instructed him, “or you’re going to go for a swim.”

“Why… I love a good swim, you ingrate. What kind of punishment is that?”

Okinaro was out of his ball less than a second before he rammed into Twenty-Two’s backside. The middle-aged gentleman rode a Blizzard wave (for the first time in his life, no doubt) all the way to the center of the lake before dropping into the lake like a ham sandwich onto the floor.

With the help of ‘Aichu, Greninja, and Okinaro, the three of them cleared out the dam that had been built up at the far end of the cave, allowing water to once again rush down the Yukiotoko River and into Kyrai. It was great. They were just the best.

Once outside again, they stopped beside the dried-out embankment, waiting for the river’s flow to reach that far. It was at this time a most curious, and likely apocryphal, occurrence occured. As the water began to flow, the three of them patted one another on the backs. They had done good–real good. They were the Heroes of Kyrai, or something. They had solved the incredibly complex puzzle of why the Yukiotoko River had dried up.

Man, all in a day’s work, too. Kim, the river, Katagiri… wew lad, I like this kinda party!

The ground shook. Icicles fell from nearby trees. The river’s pace ever quickened, ripples now forming in its lane beneath the surging, lively white foam. One foot after another, the Yalung sidled up to the river. It was a good thing it had decided to approach from the other side of the river, for if it had snuck up behind them, Ryan would have likely run off into the snow forest crying at the top of his lungs, and he would have surely never found his way home (dying of frostbite is not the worst way to go, but still).

He reached down into the river with one giant brown hand, cradling enough water to drown the teenagers. Staring at them, the Ultra Beast paused momentarily before drinking heavily. What a messy drinker. He’s getting water all over his fur coat! Ack, I can’t watch this!

After he had taken his fill, however, the Yalung, perhaps the one they had encountered in the mansion and on the mountaintop, or perhaps not (that’d be a real neat twist), grunted loudly, massaged his throat, and vanished into inky strands of smoke.

“Wh-wh-wh-what the heck?!”

Ryan shook his head. “No idea, man. Let’s go. This place gives me the creeps. If those things are Pokémon, oh well. I’m not gonna try to catch one.”

“He’s an Ultra Beast, isn’t he? Isn’t he Ryan?” Logan asked, but the other boy had nothing to say to such speculation.

Maybe the mountain yeti is, and maybe he isn’t. Who knows? I’ve never seen a Pokémon do that before, though. I’ve seen enough. “Could be. Maybe, maybe not. Can’t say for certain.”

“Yeah, Logan, I think he probably is,” Kelly said. “Zapdos was able to paralyze him… but then again, Zapdos would’ve been able to paralyze us too, so I’m not sure what that means. Kim thought they were, and we saw with our own eyes, if you remember, how One unleashed one on us through an Ultra Wormhole.”

“Yeah, gotta be…” Logan whispered to himself.

The teal-haired boy was mildly amazed that Logan was so interested in this random creature. Too spooky for me, yo. I’m never gonna get within a hundred feet of one of those four-eyed yeti monsters again, no sir, not if I can help it. I wanna go home, order a chilled mango smoothie, and relax forever. That’s all I want.

Well, he thought, glancing at the other two, lingering longer on the female hominid, as was proper for a male to do, maybe not the only thing.


It was only after they had packed their things, paid the hotel owner, and began waddling off towards the derelict train station that Logan told them the news:

“I’m staying in Kyrai… at least for a little while.”

“You’re… what now?! Logan, you can’t be serious. Of all the places to choose… Here? Seriously? This place is a frozen wasteland, dude. What are you going to do here?”

“Well, now that the river’s flowing again, I promised Mrs. Yutaki to help her renovate the old onsen next to her convenience store. Remember it? Did I ever tell you guys that she ran that place herself until her son moved to Kalos? It sounds like a nice place to spend lots of quality time, dontcha think? I could relax for hours everyday in a piping hot sauna… mmm, that’s the dream, Ryan. You should stay too.”

“No way, no how. I’ve got places to be. Kyrai’s about the most remote town on the continent. Ain’t nobody got time for that.”

“Are you sure you want to stay here, Logan?” Kelly asked him. “You know, it’ll get pretty lonely out here all by yourself.”

He brushed her fears away like cobwebs. “Eh, I got my Pokémon. And it’ll be good for Mrs. Yutaki to spend some time relaxing in the hot springs. I can’t imagine what the cold has done to her tired old bones! I have to help her, even if no one else is willing to. I just gotta, alright? I’m staying. And besides, I want to look into the Yalung’s physiology some more. Maybe Dr. Kaku and Dr. Tyson are still in town. I could definitely use their help trying to uncover the mystery of that… Ultra Beast? Mountain Yeti…? Who the heck knows what that thing is. I really want to figure out what’s going on here.”

“I don’t wanna know. I have enough nightmares as it is, thank you very much.”

“Well then,” Kelly said, gathering up her belongings again and nodding to Logan. “See you around, kid. Good luck with the onsen. Stay in touch, alright?”

“Yeah, I will, don’t worry about that. But communication may cut out from time to time due to all the snowstorms…”

She bowed, which was a rather unexpected thing for her to do before walking off. She was almost showing that Clefairy wannabe some tiny measure of respect. What happened to the old Kelly? This is so weird.

“So,” Ryan spoke very formally, mock-bowing to Logan. “Gonna be a proper Pokémon Breeder/Researcher, eh?”

“I guess. I just want to get out of the cold, really. An onsen sounds like heaven right about now, don’t you think, Ryan?”

“The Sevii Islands sound like heaven to me, dude. But you do you. Anyways, the berry farm you want to set up… profits’ll be fifty-fifty, alright? I expect you’ll send some of your Pokémon down to help me farm it.”

“Oh, nice. You found a place for it? Where at?”

“It’s an island east of Sevii, not on the maps. Just send your workers to One Island, and I’ll pick ‘em up, okay?”

“Sounds good to me, Ryan.”

“Alright then, well, uh, good luck, dude. Hope you find what you’re looking for out here, and, um, remember that monsters are scary and nothing you should mess with, alright? Please don’t freeze to death!” he said awkwardly, bowing again stiffly, and then running off after Kelly, his suitcase in tow.

“Later!” Logan waved after them. “I’ll be down for the next Indigo League! See you there!”

Next Indigo League?! For a moment, Ryan’s heart stopped. Then he remembered. That’s standard protocol. C’mon Elite 4, don’t let me down! Jun, Prima, Sydney, Bruno! You gotta protect that shield, yo. I don’t want none of that nonsense getting past you. A happy Indigo League Champion is an Indigo League Champion who’s never challenged, after all.

Kelly was waiting for him at the train stop. “It’ll be here in five minutes,” she alerted him.

“Woo baby, I won’t miss this cold. How did you grow up in this?”

“Eh, I stayed inside most of the time. I hardly remember Mom letting me go outside. During the summer, it’s not so bad, though. I think even you would be able to tolerate it.”

“Lucky. Bet you were homeschooled too.”

“That’s right. Jealous much?”

“Nah, school can suck it. I’m the Indigo League Champion, yo!”

“Yeah, yeah, yeah, Ryan. Can’t we go a single day without you bringing that up?”

“I’m just saying…”

She shook her head like a mother would at a child spilling pasta sauce all over the imported Persian rug. “So, where’re you off to after this?”

“Home. Granddaddy Clefable’s causing a ruckus. Gotta check in on him. What about you?”

She looked away, as if to count the tracks. “Nowhere, really.”

“Well, who said our journey’s over? Whaddya say you come back with me and help get him under control? How about it, Kelly? My mom makes the best chicken marsala in Acapulco. We’d love to have you for dinner.”

Again she was shaking her head, but this time, she enhanced it with a smirk. “Ryan… we live in the Pokémon World. There’s no such thing as chicken.”

“So… is that a yes, or what?”

“You’re persistent, I’ll give you that. If it’ll shut you up… uh, sure, why not?”

Why not? Such was the declaration of some bored god who knew not the extent to which she controlled Ryan, the most insignificant of boys in the whole wild world. Still, a warm feeling spread to his fingers and toes, and he couldn’t help but feel his Old Rod had finally caught that pesky Magikarp once and for all.

Epilogue: You Don't Get Away

“Well, well, well… look who decided to show his face here again.”

Ryan’s father had developed quite the belly since last Alakazam had seen him. “Hello,” the Psi Pokémon said warily. He had no idea how Ryan’s father would react to seeing him. The man had taken a decidedly milder tone after Ryan’s big win, but then again, Alakazam and him hadn’t been left alone together since before he’d run off from home.

“I imagine he thinks you can deal with that miserable Clefable. Meh. See what you can do. But if you’re anything like I remember, you won’t be able to do anything meaningful ‘bout it.”

What bitterness. It’ll choke the life out of him soon enough. Alakazam was in no mood for a confrontation. “What do you need me to do, sir? I could knock Clefable out, or tie him to a tree, or lock him in a cage without any milk…”

The possibilities were endless.

“He’s stolen several things from us. For one, he’s got my wife’s night robe. Been wearing that thing for the past week. He thinks he’s some king or another. Tried setting Rapidash and Persian on him, but he got away every time. Ryan’s Pokémon wouldn’t listen to me and help chase him down. You better get that robe.”

Alakazam ran a spoon through his mustache in amusement. Did Spectre and the others do that on purpose? They must have. What a way to get back at the man. They’re loyal to the end, he thought with pride.

The old man had a greying beard and a face that looked like a couple scoops of mashed potatoes without any gravy. At least he seems to understand me more than Ryan. Ryan truly was a maroon sometimes. Though his father seemed to lack some of the Pokémon battling talent that his boy had developed, he had more common sense than the kid. Alakazam wanted to take a midday nap before getting to work, as was his nature, but he knew that with this man breathing down his neck, no such lollygagging would be tolerated.

“He also stole my ice cream scooper. Get that back. He’s a demagogue, that stupid Clefable. Golly, I wish I could understand you creatures. Uses my scooper as a mic. He’s at it all day out in the pen. Always blabbering on… Clefable fable fable fable clefable clefable clefable…! Gah, what an insufferable beast. How could my son have caught such an awful Pokémon? I don’t understand it. I really don’t.”

He had to stifle a smile. Night robes; ice cream scooper. That’s really important stuff. “I understand, sir. I’ll get your precious possessions back for you post haste!”

“And he’s been hidin’ our television remotes somewhere… first it was one, then another went missing, then all of ‘em disappeared. That ain’t a coincidence. Squirtle, Persian, and the others haven’t been able to find where he’s stashed ‘em. Find them, alright? I’m getting sick of no TV and no ice cream! Do something useful for once, Alakazam!”

His eyes held in them a fury of injustice, but Alakazam could detect the faintest sense of jealousy within them too. Embarrassed, he swore he would do all that was asked of him.

“Yeah, yeah, I’ll believe it when I see it…” the man grumbled, scratching his chin and waddling off.

From the window, Alakazam could see Aegon and Spectre and Reek and Ryan’s other Pokémon chilling in the sun near the pond out back. His father had built them a more fashionable shack to live in now that their numbers were swelling. That was nice of him. He even built chairs and walls and things for them to lounge on. He wondered if the pool was deep enough for Shenlong, but considering the red Gyarados was nowhere to be seen, that had to be the case.

It was only after he spent a few minutes at the window looking for each individual Pokémon that he spotted Granddaddy Clefable. Perched upon a rock on the far end of the pond, the crimson-draped Fairy Pokémon was proselytizing, the ice cream scooper clearly in his hand. He was an absurd figure, moving his arms and contorting his face, when Alakazam couldn’t hear what he was saying. The passion in Granddaddy Clefable was enough to make him want to take a three week vacation.

Out in the open. And none of Ryan’s Pokémon care. Alakazam smirked. No wonder Ryan’s dad wants to get rid of them. Interesting how loyal they’ve remained.

In the living room, he found Persian passed out at the tippy-top of the venerable cat tower. Alakazam lamented the fact that he would no longer be able to fit up there. Consequently, the favorable way in which he had previously regarded that tower was now the shadow of a memory of a dream that he no longer cared to remember with too much accuracy.

Sniveling Squirtle, that wretched beast, was nowhere to be found. He’s probably in Mommy’s room, massaging her feet like the sycophant he is.

He caught an aroma of Sleep Powder, as nostalgic as a punch to the nose. Yet, Butterfree was hiding somewhere, for when he looked around, all he noticed was the furniture and dust. This room was timeless in a way, for it had always been a dusty and sleepy place, and yet Alakazam found no value in it anymore. This had once been his haven, his most cherished place in the world. Then Ryan had grabbed him, perhaps at random, and set them off on their adventure together. And now that he was back, he was no longer Abra–he was no longer who he’d once been. This place was not for him anymore.

Goosebumps covered Alakazam’s flesh. The road was calling–adventure, battles, fresh locations, strange and wild Pokémon never before encountered, new rivals, new tournaments, new quests. He knew in his heart that once he was done here, he would likely never return. Ryan would come home, tell his parents the news about the island, and soon they would all be away from here. One sweet dream, the Psychic Pokémon lamented. Our adventures are not finished. Not like Persian’s, or Butterfree’s. This is not the end.

He would not be choked by the lethargy rolling on in endless tides before his waking eyes.

“Butterfree! Butterfree?! Where are you?!”

“Nyah… what’s all… that noise? What’s happening?” Persian hissed hoarsely, opening one large eye to look down upon him. “Oh… Alakazam. Little Abra. I’m surprised. What are you doing back?”

My ancient enemy. You used to be stronger than me. I used to fear you. But even he knows what happened in the Indigo League. “Do you know where Granddaddy Clefable hid the remote controls?”

“Heh heh heh. That’s got the old man pissed, alright. Oh well. Nyah… a cat’s gotta get his beauty sleep. Don’t wake me again, or there’ll be hell to pay, little Abra!” The Classy Cat Pokémon yawned obnoxiously and dropped his head in his paws, feigning immense tiredness.

I’m so sorry to have woken you. It must be horribly painful to not get your daily twenty-three hours of sleep.

He went down the hall calling for Butterfree, but found no sign of that irritating bug. Just my luck. When I want to find him, he disappears. Why couldn’t he have done that five years ago? Alakazam paused before Ryan’s door, noticing that it was slightly ajar, though the lights were off. Finding this rather odd, as anyone with a genius-level IQ would, he stepped inside, closing the door behind him. All he had to do was blink to psychically flip the switch on.

The top bunk of Ryan’s bed was messed up: the pillows thrown about, the blankets were pulled out messily. It was, as anyone would assume, a magnificent mystery. Ryan hadn’t been home in weeks, and there was no way his mom had let him leave for Sevii without making his bed. His door wouldn’t have been left open either.

Really intelligent though he was, Alakazam was flummoxed until he used his psychic powers to pull the blankets off the bed, as he was preparing to be a good boy and make the bed for his master (so that his mom wouldn’t yell at the both of them). That was when he noticed Butterfree crouching over the sheets, his wings facing Alakazam, tittering with high-pitched gasps.

“Butterfree, what are you doing in Ryan’s room?”

“Ack?! Who’s there?”

“You are hiding under the covers in my master’s bedroom. Why?!”

“Oh… Alakazam. So good to see you again!” Butterfree’s eyes were bugging out. He looked mighty uncomfortable. “I didn’t expect you to be home so soon.”

“You didn’t expect one of Ryan’s Pokémon to be allowed inside, did you?”

His wings were flapping, but he wasn’t moving. Alakazam knew he had to stay on guard. One Sleep Powder and I’ll go down for the count. “I, I, I, I’m not saying anything! Get out of here, you lanky yellow spoon-holder!! I’m right in the middle of something. Give me some privacy!”

“This is Master’s room. It is my duty to protect it from being abused by slimy bugs like yourself.”

“Slimy?! I’m not slimy. I’m dignified!” Alakazam scoffed, raising his spoons. “So that’s how it’s gonna be?! I swear, if you touch me, I’ll tell Mommy!”

Alakazam shot a Psybeam right into Butterfree’s face. “Headshot!” he smiled.

Butterfree flew into the wall, slumping over. A professional freeloader versus the Indigo League Champion, he thought to himself smugly. No chance.

Still, in his daze, the Butterfree had released a wave of sparkly cream-colored dust that Alakazam knew all too well. A dirty trick was never beyond this garbage Butterfree’s abilities. He was not surprised. The pettiness of it, the lack of shame involved, and the fact that he had not simply given up, forcing Alakazam to expend so much more energy to get rid of it all, annoyed the Psi Pokémon beyond what words could describe.

Using his mind, he floated Butterfree to the door and discarded him out into the hallway like a baby with the bathwater. The Sleep Powder began to disperse, but as long as he concentrated real hard, he could maintain a giant pink psychic bubble around the affected air; it was nothing to transport that balloon outside too. Only after he closed the door behind him did he allow the bubble to pop.

Precisely seven remote controls were stashed on that bed, arranged in bizarre patterns. The tip of each one had been gnawed on. So that’s why Persian didn’t care. I wonder if Clefable actually stole these and traded them to Butterfree, or if Butterfree was responsible from the beginning…

It was a serious mystery, of course, the kind that will be left unresolved because that’s the stylish thing to do nowadays.

A few minutes later, having made Ryan’s bed for him, the remotes following him through the air on invisible psychic chains, Alakazam stood before the door, plugging his nose and holding his breath. Someone had sprayed ‘Frodo Lives’ in graffiti on the inside of Ryan’s door, but Alakazam was more concerned about the Sleep Powder he’d let disperse just outside the door–not his finest moment of forethought, to be sure.

Holding his breath, the Psi Pokémon threw open the door and ran out, passing through the cloud of Sleep Powder as quickly as one possibly could. And yet, even after he had tripped his way over the unconscious Butterfly Pokémon, Alakazam had to immediately suppress a yawn. His eyes were becoming heavy, and he wanted nothing more than to find a nice sunny spot to lie down…

Blinking ferociously, he stumbled up to Ryan’s parents’ door, and knocked.

“Yeah?” came the old man’s voice from within. “Who’s there?!”

“It is me, old master.”

“Oh, Alakazam… oh brilliant, you found my remotes! Ah… ah, hell?! What happened to ‘em?!” He snatched remote after remote from the air, grimacing as he looked over the claw marks. “Clefable did this to ‘em? Why… I’ll make Ryan pay for replacements. What a joke! I can’t believe he allowed such a feral beast come home to destroy my precious remotes!”

“That’s not what happened,” Alakazam explained, pointing down the hall with a spoon. “I hate bugs, and that bug is no exception. Hear me now, blubber bones: Butterfree did that to your precious remotes, and he’s a rotten, awful, slimy bug–a typical bug, to be fair, but a wretched creature that should be squashed nonetheless.”

“H-huh…? What’re ya goin’ on about, boy?” The man peaked around the corner, noticing Butterfree’s limp body. “He did it? Butterfree? Is that what you’re saying, Alakazam?”

“Just so, sir.”

“Why… that little… I can’t believe it…” Ryan’s father stuttered, his cheeks going red. After throwing his remotes on the bed unceremoniously, he stomped off down the hall towards the Butterfree, swearing to himself, grumbling and patting his big round belly as he walked. As soon as he reached Butterfree, however, the cloud of Sleep Powder having dispersed even farther than before, the man stopped, wobbled for a moment, shouted half a curse at the sleeping Butterfree, and fell over face-first in the hallway. A moment later, his snores pervaded the hall.

I really should get Ryan’s mother, Alakazam thought to himself, yawning again. But she’ll find him soon enough. Oh well. I’m kind of tired myself. So naptime it is!

Without a guilty thought, Alakazam returned to the living room; for nostalgia’s sake, he chose a choice, sun-lit couch, curled up upon it, and soon found his breaths falling in time with Persian’s, almost like everything was back to normal, like it was the good old days again, like he was a useless Abra who’d only ever managed to disappoint his masters all over again. Those were the days, he thought dreamily as the dark beckoned him.


On the second day, Alakazam snoozed. On the third day, Alakazam snoozed a little more. On the fourth day, he slept real good. On the fifth day, he napped and napped and napped through sunlight and moonlight. On the sixth, Alakazam, needing a break from all this napping, took a nice long slumber in Ryan’s bed. On the seventh day, he rested.

Ryan’s father had not been concerned on the second or third day, for he had been content that he had gotten his remotes back at least. Watching TV was his favorite pastime after all, so now that he could return to it, he did not bother Alakazam much. One could even say he appreciated Alakazam finding and returning the remotes, being the only Pokémon around willing to put in some time and effort to help the old man.

But after a few more days of lazy laziness, the man’s patience wore thin. “I want my ice cream, gosh dang it!” he yelled at Alakazam on the fourth day. But there wasn’t a lot he could do. Alakazam was tired from that Sleep Powder, surely. That was to blame for his lingering weariness which was surely not normal in the slightest.

On the eighth day, however, the man sprayed Alakazam in the face with an Awakening potion. “There!” he grumbled. “Two hundred Poké Dollars down the drain. I hope you’re happy. Now get to work! My ice cream scooper’s still out there somewhere. Not to mention the snuggy…”

Ryan should be home any day now, Alakazam knew. Eh, I probably should go get his things so Master won’t be disappointed in me.

Out back, it was real sunny and warm. It was primarily Ryan’s Pokémon who noticed him first, he realized, not Ryan’s father’s, who he too had once fought alongside. Indeed, Rapidash hardly gave him a look, while Spectre, Aegon, NaVorro, Myrrah, and the rest all ran over to him at once.

“Yo, Zammy, what’s shakin’?” grinned the tubby Gengar. “How’s it been? Didn’t know you were back! Sevii was good, yeah? Real good?”

“Um… yeah, it was nice,” Alakazam yawned. They didn’t know I’ve been here for a week. Oh well, I don’t need to mention that…

Aegon leaned in, his nostrils flaring with flames. “Master’s doing well?”

“He’s about the same, I think.”

“Haven’t seen him catch anyone new for a few weeks now… not since that Ferroseed.”

NaVorro stamped his foot in the grass impatiently. “Nonsense. There was a Combusken here just a few days ago, but apparently Ryan wanted to try him on his team, cuz he didn’t last long.”

“I don’t know about any of that,” Alakazam admitted. “Ryan’s just been vacationing most of the time. No new tourneys or challenges as far as I could tell, so he’s been trying to work with his most underdeveloped Pokémon.”

Spectre guffawed for no reason. “So that’s why you’re here, is it?”

“I’m here to get back that ice cream scooper Clefable stole.”

“Oh.”

They went silent. All eyes shifted towards the far end of the pond, where the bundled-up Fairy was rambling to a Sneasel, Vanillish, and two Meowth.

“Someone’s finally gonna shut him up. Want any help?” asked Reek the Muk.

Alakazam wrinkled his nose. “No thank you. This won’t take long.”

They all watched him approach the prophet. It was as if everyone was holding their breath. None of them can stand him, he realized. I bet they’d like to see him go for a swim.

“I have been to the ocean floor and looked upon the drowned god’s face… oh, oh, oh, I know! I have seen his watery halls, his Omastar throne, his armies of deep ones bellying up and down the murky palace… I have seen these things, my chosen few. Believe me. Fear for what is to come. Dead things in the water… Not all of them unmoving… Come, my children. Now is the time of our un-worlding, in which all of us shall become as the drowned god!”

“Clefable,” Alakazam interrupted, stepping between him and his enraptured audience. “Hand over the snuggy and the scooper.”

Granddaddy Clefable looked down at the scooper, momentarily confused as to what Alakazam was talking about. It only took a second for him to realize, however. He was smart like that. “You… you dare interrupt my sermon?!”

Alakazam shrugged. “Sure. Now hand them over. I don’t have all day.”

“Never! Your very existence offends me, demon!” he spat, waving the scooper around. Jumping off his rock, Granddaddy Clefable charged at Alakazam, attempting to use the scooper as a sword of some sorts. “I’ll teach you a thing or two about how to fight the good fight! This one’s for the drowned god, cretin!”

Alakazam was tired. He wanted to go lie down in the sun and catch a nap. He was dying for a nap. It was half past naptime already. This nonsense grated on his mind; he had lost patience. The Clefable stopped, glowing purple. Beyond his control, the fancy crimson robe, which had no doubt cost around twenty Poké Dollars (plus shipping and handling) slid off his bulbous pink frame.

The crowd ooh’d and aah’d. Aegon clapped politely. The Clefable tried to move, thrashing about like a Sharpedo in a sushi buffet. The snuggy floated over to Alakazam, landing softly on his shoulder. Next up was the scooper, but seeing what was about to happen, Granddaddy Clefable defiantly threw it as far as he could towards the trees up against the fence at the back of the yard.

At once, Gumi the Pikachu got on all fours, sprinted over to where the scooper landed, and returned with it in his mouth, dropping it at Alakazam’s feet. Again, everyone clapped politely. It was just a marvelous affair.

“Thank you, Pikachu,” Alakazam murmured, wiping the scooper off on the grass before wrapping it in the snuggy.

“Woo yeah, anytime, Zam!”

That was the first time Alakazam had ever interacted with Gumi the Pikachu for what it’s worth.

The purple fog around Granddaddy Clefable dissipated. He let out a high-pitched scream. “You monster…! How dare you steal my precious items? I am the God-Emperor of this yard, you triangular-faced muppet!”

“Eat this Psychic please,” Alakazam commanded, hitting Clefable in the face with a purple energy beam.

For all his salt, the Fairy Pokémon didn’t go down. Alakazam was almost impressed. He staggered back, scoffing incredulously. “You dare attack a God-Emperor? You hopeless ingrate. I’ll feed you to the Goldeen! Take this Moonblast!”

But the moon wasn’t out, so all that he managed to fire off was a weak pink energy beam that barely warmed Alakazam’s whiskers.

“Nice try. Psychic!”

This time, Granddaddy Clefable went flying into the pond. Everybody cheered and clapped and whooped, and Aegon flew into the sky, breathing fire, celebrating like a madman. Gengar bounced around, NaVorro stampeded up and down the yard. Myrrah just sat there grinning creepily. Skorge sang the ballad of thermite paint. Swirlie Whirlie groomed her feathers crazy fast. Reek’s name rhymes with leek, and don’t you forget it. Clawey the Golduck, Alakazam’s old friend, stepped up with a medal made of grass and mud, putting it around Alakazam’s neck.

“Stupendous job. Great work, Zam. You really showed that insufferable charlatan!”

“It really was nothing. Any one of you could’ve done the same. Why didn’t you?”

“Oh, we’re too busy relaxing.”

“Ah, I see. Makes sense. Anyways, I gotta go give these back to the old man. He’ll want this scooper especially. Think of all the ice cream he hasn’t been able to eat!”

“I know, it’s so sad,” cried Rainman the Poliwag. “I want to eat ice cream every day and die thirty years before I should!”

He was just about to leave when suddenly, a spire of water shot up from the pool, and out came Granddaddy Clefable, in the flesh. “Not so fast, old chap! I’m not done with you yet!!”

The Fairy charged at Alakazam, screaming obscenities, when Matata the Beedrill swooped down from a tree, sinking her stinger into the back of Clefable’s neck. Without a word, the self-proclaimed God-Emperor slumped down in the grass, unconscious.

Again, a cheer went up. Someone shot off confetti. Others were singing like the Ewoks at the end of ROTJ. The God-Emperor had been silenced finally. The great villain of our time had been defeated. It was a good day. Big things had happened. And I was saved by a bug, Alakazam thought shrewdly, thinking back to how he and Matata (at the time, she had been a Kakuna, and he an Abra) had defeated Lt. Surge’s Electrode.

A cold shiver of nostalgia passed through his mind, and he smiled, catching Clawey’s eye. Those were good times. I can’t wait till we go on our next adventure!


“Oh, Ryan, it’s you! My gosh, you look terrible!”

“Thanks mom,” the teal-haired boy mumbled, stepping inside the house. “How’s it going?”

“Fine, fine. We’re good here. Your Alakazam helped your father and I get back what that horrible Clefable stole from us!”

“Nice.”

“Oh, I see you have a friend with you… who are you, dear? I don’t remember you…”

“That’s Kelly, mom. She was at the Indigo Plateau Conference, remember? She was one of my traveling companions throughout the Indigo League… I can’t believe you don’t remember.”

“Oh, very good,” the woman said, somewhat taken aback. Clearly she had no memory of Kelly. “I, um, well, why don’t you both come inside? Dinner’ll be in about half an hour… I’ll bring out two extra plates for you, how’s that sound?”

“Sounds lovely, thank you,” Kelly smiled, bowing.

“So how was your trip?”

“Cold. But we got rid of Pagan Kim. He’s locked up now, I think.”

“Yeeeeah…” Kelly grimaced. Bet this isn’t gonna go over to well with her mother, the boy realized. Wonder if she’s told her yet. “We set Kyrai free of his tyrannical reign. It was a really difficult battle. But Ryan helped out a lot. That was nice of him.”

“Katagiri evolved into Greninja, mom, look!” Ryan said triumphantly, bringing out his Ninja Pokémon from the sanctity of his Luxury Ball.

“Aaah!!” the woman screamed. “I hate frogs! Ew, he’s all slimy and icky!”

“Nah, he’s not, mom, he’s cool!”

“Well, go put him outside with all the rest. I don’t like having such Pokémon running amok in my house!”

Katagiri looked disappointed, but he was a ninja now, so he had to play it off like it was cool. Ryan led him out back, where all the rest of his magnificent buddies were. He let out Gothmog and Little Kramer and Thurnax and Ammu and Vorian too, so they could socialize with the rest, before returning inside.

“So anyways…” Ryan said, walking into the kitchen, interrupting a conversation between Kelly and his mother (Kelly was blushing for some reason), “I forgot to mention it to you before, but I bought an island down near the Sevii Islands with the remainder of my tournament winnings. It’s a little to the east of One Island… doesn’t have a name yet, and it isn’t inhabited or anything, so I’ll have to set up the buildings from scratch. Anyways, Logan and me are gonna set up a berry farm there and use the profits to fund the building projects. Hopefully we’ll be able to create a sort of resort down there. It should be nice. But yeah, gonna move all my Pokémon down there so you and Dad don’t have to trouble yourselves with taking care of them anymore. I hope they haven’t been too much of a handful, besides Granddaddy Clefable of course.”

His mother looked shocked. “Wow… um, I’m surprised, Ryan. I thought we’d have to talk you out of keeping your Pokémon here… but you thought ahead and came up with a solution on your own. I’m impressed.”

“See, he’s not so bad when he tries to use his brain,” Kelly remarked coolly.

The women laughed. Now it was Ryan’s turn to get hot around the ears. “Hey, that’s not nice!”

“Your father will be happy to hear about this, though. He’s taking a nap right now. I’ll wake him just before dinner. Do you want to tell him yourself, Rye?”

“It doesn’t matter to me.”

“Well… I guess we can all discuss this over dinner, yes? I’ll need a few minutes to prepare your portions…”

“Yeah, no problem, just call when it’s ready, mom.”

(Cue Stuck Together Pieces)

It was nice to be back, but there was something empty and stale in the air. He wasn’t planning on staying long. The boy led Kelly to his room, where they set down their bags, Ryan unloading his dirty laundry directly into his clothes basket. He was surprised to see Kelly do the same.

“Whoa… isn’t that a little forward, Kelly? Your stuff mixing with mine… that’s gotta be wrong, yo.”

She shook her head lightly. “You’re such an idiot, Ryan. It doesn’t mean anything. I need to wash my clothes just as much as you do. You see any free laundromats around here?”

“Uh, yeah, my parents’.”

“We’re not staying here for long, are we?”

“Maybe just a night. Don’t worry, I have two bed… see? You can pick whichever one you want,” he said quickly, pointing to his bunk bed. Thankfully, his mom had made both beds since he’d left, a stupendously fortunate bit of luck for young Ryan. Chicks dig clean rooms.

“Just do it all in one wash then.” She was looking around his room, at the dust and furniture and trophies. “Those are yours?” she asked, pointing to the shelf of trophies just above Ryan’s desk.

“Ye-yeah… little league baseball and some from soccer. Nothing fancy, really. They give ‘em out to everyone. I think they’re ma–”

Her pink eyes fluttered, focusing on him, on the core of his being, as she swung in close. Her arms went around his back as she leaned in suddenly. Kelly’s aroma was one of strawberries, clean and clear and not overpowering. It was, therefore, no surprise when he learned her lipstick tasted of the same flavor.

Trivia

  • A Just Edge is the longest story on the site! And it is the overall longest page on the entire wiki.
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